


Misadventures in Another World

by Hypermuffins



Series: Misadventures [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action/Adventure, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Character Development, Colemance, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friendship, Human Cole, Humor, Loss of Virginity, Modern Girl in Thedas, Modern OC in Thedas, Native American Character(s), Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Romance, Slow Burn, Some smattering of lavellan/sera, Strong Female Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:44:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 342,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypermuffins/pseuds/Hypermuffins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tale of a surly woman who is suddenly thrust into Thedas. It's not all fun and games when you wake up in a … game? Almost dying, angering Elven Gods, what's the worst that could happen? – Slow moving for character development and romance. I don't like rushing things. Additional info inside. Safer version posted on FF.net, I'm putting this on here because of future 'mature' chapters.</p><p>Explicit chapters will be marked for your convenience -- *<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Luck

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive criticism is encouraged. Some people disagree with the main pairing intended in this story. I respect your opinion, so please respect mine.
> 
> In this 'Colemance' I will probably be exploring more lighthearted themes with hardly any angst, seeing more of his adorable side. Also awkwardness. Plenty of that, in later chapters. Because we all know Cole is an awkward weirdy. I like my awkward weirdy. The next big story I have planned will likely be the opposite of this one (More angst, has harder time accepting feelings, etc). His character is just so fun to write and could be interpreted in many different ways. I plan to explore that.
> 
> This is mainly written for shits and giggles, because reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited and 'safer' version is on my FF.net account under the same username, if seeing nsfw scenes bother you. They will appear later on. Much much later, after their relationship develops. But they will be there.
> 
>  
> 
> [Safe Version](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11151319/1/Misadventures-in-Another-World)

Everything felt like it was on fire, aching and twisting at my limbs. My torso. These were the first thoughts as I began to gain consciousness. Not really a pleasant thought, mind you. But it felt like I was chewed up and spit out for the birds to scavenge on. Maybe I was kicked by a horse and tossed off a cliff? Anything seemed possible at this point. It just _hurt so much._

"Uuughh...." I warbled, muffled by whatever my face was in. A hiss escaped my lips as I cracked an eye open cautiously, moving my head side to side to get a view. The light jabbed at my retinas, but the sun was warm and welcoming on my numbing face. Even so, it felt like there was a jackhammer inside of my skull.

_'Seriously....what.... what the hell happened to me?'_

I was laying face first in the snow, it seemed. Somehow I'd belly flopped into the layer of fluff and it made my chest hurt, among other things. Or, more specifically, my boobs. I'd never been comfortable laying in this position with the oversized mounds of flesh on my chest. 

With an irritated grunt, I tried to remember how the fuck I'd even gotten myself into this predicament in the first place. _'I think I remember driving and....'_

Nothing

A blank, then flickers of a memory of me driving in a blizzard. Snowflakes danced across my vision as I'd flipped on the headlights to highbeams, hoping to see more. But it'd only proved to make visibility even worse. That's when I'd started to fishtail, I remember now. Rolling into the ditch--blank. My head throbbed as I tried to recall the events, a reminder that I'd probably hit my head against something. 

Not fun.

On account of the fact that I'd probably been ejected from my car? Hitting my head on the windshield didn't sound like such a far-fetched idea, at that point. Just my luck.

So I'd likely survived a rollover. It was a grim thought and I had yet to try and move the rest of my body. What if I broke my back?

I tried to move my arm, but it felt like I couldn't even move my fingers. They were stiff and would occasionally twitch on command but that's about it. I sighed and moved my head again, finally starting to feel the stinging bite of snow on my face. I was laying face down, I realized, as I slowly used my other arm to prop my body up and onto my side.

That didn't go over too well.

I grunted and simply allowed myself to fall onto my back, rolling over completely and staring at the sky above. A few soft puffy clouds floated by lazily. The sunlight cast warm rays of light across my cold face, making me sigh. The sun was in the middle of the sky. My left arm felt like it was going to fall off, so I sat still for a moment and waited for the pain to subside.

"Shit..." I breathed, seeing the mist form just in front of my face from my hot breath. I'm alive. _That's a good thing, I suppose._

What else was there? 

Why had I been driving in whiteout blizzard conditions? I hardly ever risked my health (Let alone my baby, RIP little car.), being the rather cautious person I was. It was extremely frustrating, knowing that you'd rolled your prized first car into the ditch and didn't even know why. I know I had been angry, which wasn't all that surprising, but beyond that my memory seemed lost to me.

My forehead started to ache, reminding me of huge knot that was likely sitting on my head. Great. That would explain why my left eye was hard to open. Said knot was probably above my eye somewhere, which worried me. I gently brushed the wound with my fingers, instantly rewarded with a throbbing pain.

"Unng, this is brilliant..." I threw my hand down and propped myself into a seated position. The dizziness was almost overwhelming, causing me to turn over and start to retch. Nothing really came up, which gave me the idea that I hadn't really eaten much before my little escapade. "Whatever....ugh... I need to get up. Come on, just get up." 

The nausea that followed was not pretty, but as soon as my dry heaves subsided I looked up and began to search for my car. My poor little red car. I was just as attached to my car as I had been to my dog, and I had to bite back a wave of tears at the thought of what it must look like after rolling into the ditch. Not only that, but my glasses were nowhere in sight. That made things so much more difficult, seeing as how I was practically blind as a bat without them. I could see things that were close, but not far away.

"This couldn't really get much worse, could it?" Was a sarcastic sentence that flowed out of my mouth, a bland tone. Done with this shit already as I eased myself into a crouched position.

Never say that, because it really _can_ get much worse.

I paled when I realized that I'd been laying in the middle of a snowy field. Not a track in sight. Well, not that I could see anyway. Everything was kind of blurry. The snow wasn't even that deep, just above the ankles. Thankfully I was wearing my workboots. One small victory. No sign of my car. I should at least be able to  _ _see__  my car. It should be like a beacon in this white washed terrain. The wind only whistled by, as if a reminder of how alone I really was. 

But there was nothing.

I whipped my head back and forth, eyes frantically scanning the environment but only see my travel bag sitting at my feet. Still no glasses. My wavy shoulder-length hair was likely a mess, judging by how the rust colored locks were falling all over my face. My dark brown eyes narrowed in irritation.

 _'Where am I and where the hell is my car?!'_ I wanted to scream in frustration, but simply took a step toward my bag – only to have a sharp pain send me to my knees. I grunted upon contact with the snow, hearing nothing else aside from the chirps of the birds in the distance. No cars, no horns, no music, nothing.

I was injured and stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere. All feelings of relief from being alive swiftly left me and was replaced with a sense of dread. If I wasn't dead before, I'll surely be soon enough. I clenched my eyes shut and groaned, throwing my head skyward. I really hated my life, sometimes.

Perhaps if I could find a house or town nearby I could call my mother? I felt anger at the thought of my mother, which made me pause. We were always fighting and arguing, but at that moment I felt like I wanted to punch her in the face. Huh.

Shrugging with one arm, I used my good arm to drag the bag toward myself. I eased it painfully over and onto my bad shoulder (all the while, I was groaning and biting back screams) and secured it onto my back. It hurt, yeah, but I wasn't about to just drag it around. Once it was on my back, I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. My body was shaking from the white hot pain that was coming from my shoulder.

One step at a time, Lyn.

I started to look around again, taking note of the fact that the area I was in had no tracks. Check. I'd noticed that earlier, but how had I gotten over here? I couldn't have flown that far from the car. I look up into the sky again, to perhaps check how late into the day it was, but noticed a swirling mass of clouds in the distance. Or at least I  _ _thought__  it was clouds. I squinted a little, but I couldn't tell. It had it's own light source. Green light, which to me looked like a big blurry green blob. My first thought?

 _ _Bomb__.

I know, stupid right?

My expression dropped and I momentarily forgot about the pain I was feeling at all. Fear replaced the pain I'd been feeling and I could feel the adrenaline already as my fight or flight instincts kicked into gear. My brown eyes widened and I could feel the blood drain from my face. Well, I certainly couldn't fight a _bomb_ could I? 

There was a fucking hole in the sky.

A giant glowing green hole.

What the actual fuck?

"Holy shit, what the fffuuuu-!!!" I screeched and started off in the opposite direction. My first thoughts were that there was a bomb going off, which didn't make sense since there was no flash of light or loud noises. But my fear filled thoughts overrode logic and I was stuck stumbling in the opposite direction.

"Hey hey! Are you alright over there?" I heard a woman call from the distance, voice echoing over the empty field, but I payed her no heed.

My feet wouldn't stop as I continued in the direction I was going, a small trail coming into view in the distance. The trail had a crumbling stone fence of some sort beside it, giving me the impression that the trail was actually a road. My boots clomped into the snow as I barreled onward without thinking. From an outsiders perspective, it probably looked comical trying to run/power waddle through the deep snow. I was always kinda chunky and I just couldn't seem to pick up speed with my injuries and large backpack. 

A dip in the fence. I aimed to hop over it, but mid-jump my legs locked up and muscles seized – refusing me to go any further. This was probably because of my injuries, which I couldn't even feel at the moment. Or maybe it was because I was never good at athletic feats, anyway. As small as they may be.

I toppled over the rocks in the most ungraceful manner possible, sending myself flying face first onto the dirty trail. I could see mud and slush as I pulled up both arms to cushion my fall. I hit the ground pretty hard, seeing as how I was carrying something so heavy.

I knew bad luck ran in my family...

My bad arm screamed in protest, which in turn made me let out a howl of pain. Tears filled my eyes as I bit my lip to shut myself up. Oh I was definitely feeling the pain now. Adrenaline or not, I probably just made it much worse.

Stifled laughter could be heard not far away, along with footsteps running in my direction.

"Didja see the look on her face? Funny, yeah?" The owner of the voice was a younger woman, from the sounds of it. She was still giggling some ways back.

"What are you running from?" Another woman asked from beside me, when did she get here? I didn't even hear her approach as I let out a pained groan.

"Fuckin hell, man. Can't you give me a break!" I yelled as I tried to force myself into a standing position, anger evident on my features. My good hand is covered in slush and mud as I did so. Well, the entire front of my body is covered in it, but that was beside the point. I was finally crouched again, attempting to ignore how broken my body felt and failing might I add. I was just sitting there panting like I'd run a marathon. It wasn't even that far of a sprint and I was already out of breath. Jeez, I needed to exercise more. 

"Shit, man. Look at her face." I heard someone comment, I spat out the dirt in my mouth and peeked around. My teeth felt all gritty from the dirt and sand likely clogging my mouth at that moment. "What'ja do kid, get into a fight with a Druffalo?"

Druffalo... did he mean buffalo? I blinked up at the rather short man standing behind the woman at my side. He made his way closer to me and I noticed how darn short he was. I'd never seen a midget before, so I tried not to let it show on my face. Last thing I needed was angry midgets trying to beat me up. My classmate in college had gotten his ass handed to him by a gang of midgets before while he was drunk, so I knew they weren't to be trifled with.

I was on my knees and he was barely taller than me by maybe a foot. He stood there staring at me, expecting an answer, as he hefted the rather large crossbow in his arms.

"Uhhh..." I slowly looked up at the woman above me, the sunlight making it hard to see her features. She held out a hand to me, in which I assumed was to help me to my feet. I gladly accepted, with my good arm, and stood up beside her. She didn't even seem bothered that I'd dirtied her hand with all of that mud and slush on my palm.

The woman had shoulder-length wavy hair, just like me. Her facial features were very delicate looking, making her look very feminine. We were the same height, I noted as I nodded my thanks to her. I also ignored the fact that we could pass as sisters, that was irrelevant.

"Apologies, I've had a rough day." I conceded in a rather dull tone. _ _'That's putting it lightly...'__

"Was there a reason why you were running and screaming...?" Her accent sounded oddly European, or English. Hell I didn't know. Which confused me for a second. Another thing I've never really encountered. Living in Northern Minnesota, it wasn't exactly a tourist destination. I thought about her question for a second, my eyes widening in alarm.

"A bomb! Fu-" I looked up at the hole in the sky again, which had been momentarily forgotten, and screeched in alarm. "We're gonna fucking die! Is there a bomb shelter nearby, because-" I was about to take off, before two small hands held me in place.

"Wait, are you talking about the breach?" The man from before asked, walking beside the wispy looking woman who held me in place. Her hands were gentle, as if trying to calm down a skittish horse. Her big gray eyes were focused on me, trying to tell me not to freak out. I could faintly hear the woman saying 'Hey' or 'It'll be alright.' in a soft tone, but I kept shaking and trying to back away.

"T-the what? Bre-e-ach?" My voice shook as I asked, confused and quivering with anxiety. It didn't seem like this breach in the sky was an immediate threat, so I was forced to focus on the situation at hand.

 _ _'It's alright, they don't seem too shocked by the thing in the sky. I'll be fine. I'll be fine.'__ I repeated to myself as I started to breathe deeply. Breathing still hurt, but God damn it this is the only way I knew to calm down. My heart was still racing as I looked at the small group in front of me. The people in the back were blurry, but I could make out a bald male and a blonde woman. There was the midget to the left of the woman in front of me and – My eyes darted to the other figure, which was stalking up to me with an angry expression on her face.

Said woman had a pixie cut hairstyle and all the confidence in the world as her hands were on what looked to be a sword hilt strapped to her side. The expression on her face was enough to send me into a panic all over again. She looked like she wanted to cut me.

Why the hell were these people carrying swords? Crossbows? My vision focused from my blurry panic and I took notice to some much finer details. The frail looking woman in front of me, trying to calm me down, had two daggers (or swords, I didn't know) strapped to her back. There were faint white tattoos on her lightly tanned face, spanning across her cheeks that reminded me of branches. The midget was carrying a loaded crossbow, which was held in a way that told me he was being cautious. Of me. If the expression on his face was anything to go by.

Fuck.

My fear must have showed up on my face, because the spindly woman hushed me.

"It's alright, we aren't going to hurt you." She soothed, but I was having none of it.

"T-That's what they all say! Then they cut you to itty bitty pieces and stick you in the freezer. The fuck are you guys carrying swords around for?" My mouth ran a lot when I was panicked or fearful. It's like word vomit and I couldn't stop it. I hardly ever got scared or panicked. Always one for a level head and calm demeanor. Not so much, today. Give me a break, none of this shit made sense.

"Herald, you should step away from the girl." The woman with the black pixie cut warned as she unsheathed her sword. Her voice was gruff and I could tell she meant business. The scars on her face told me she'd been in a fair amount of fights and I wasn't about to push my luck. I let out a squeak and started to back away. I was half blind, outnumbered, unarmed, and injured. Fuck my life.

My mind went into overdrive as I swiftly took inventory. I always carried a hunting knife in my jacket, for obvious reasons. Walking in the woods was always relaxing and you never know when an animal might show up or something happens. A knife is always good to have. It wasn't that big, but it's better than nothing. But I knew that pulling it out would mean an instant death. The way these people held themselves gave me the impression they knew what they were doing.

"Now now, Cassandra, I don't think she's much of a threat. See? She's unarmed." The 'Herald' motioned with her thin little arms. I'd backed away from her, out of arms reach. I didn't like that she snuck up on me like that. I didn't like that she touched me. I didn't trust her. Or them. None of this seemed right. She turned her head toward the Cassandra woman and smiled.

It was then that I saw her pointy ears sticking out of her rusty colored hair. The hell was this, an anime convention?

"E-elf?" I whispered and cocked my head to the side in question. They looked so real. Her ears, I mean. I couldn't even see where the plaster might have began, or whatever it was that they used to make their ears so pointy. The woman looked back at me and her eyebrow rose as if to say 'yeah, got a problem?'. I shook my head and started to back away some more. These people are just crazy cosplayers. Yeah. That explained the odd choice in clothing – er – armor and medieval weaponry.

"L-Look, guys. Can you just tell me where the nearest town is so I can just be on my way? Yeah?" I nervously replied, eying the weapons that were drawn. Every one of them, except the Herald lady, had them out as they examined me with cautious eyes. I took note that there were two other people behind this group. They were off to the side. I still couldn't make out any finer details to those people but the bald male had a large stick or pole in his hand while the other blonde girl held what I think was a bow. The one with the bow was holding it lazily at her side with no arrow out. She almost seemed  _ _amused__ , with the way her head was tilted with a big lopsided grin on her face.

"She's a little too close to Haven for my liking. Definitely doesn't look like a refugee, look at her clothes." Cassandra observed, stalking toward me. "Who are you?" She growled, which made me pale as I turned to run in the other direction.

"Fuck! Shit! F-" I was cut off by a yank on my backpack. I could have sworn I was  _ _lifted into the air__  and dragged back toward the group. My shoulder jolted in pain and I let out a wail. "God damn it, let me go!" I screamed as I flailed about, not really making my injured body any better.

I was promptly thrown onto the ground again, landing on my bad arm. I screeched in pain and rolled onto my other side. While I lay there curling up in pain with my hand on my shoulder, I let out a feral sounding growl and glared the best I could at Cassandra.

"Lady Lavellan, I believe the girl may be injured." I heard a smooth male voice call from the back and soft footsteps approached.

"You just said you wouldn't hurt me! Here you are throwin' me around like a damn sack of potatoes!" I yelled in protest from my place on the ground. I wanted to kick that short-haired woman for just tossing me around like that. The hell did I do to deserve this? I knew that would be a bad idea, however, since she had a big pointy object while I had nothing.

"Well that one is obvious, Chuckles. Are you blind? Look at her face." The midget, again, commented on my face. It really must've looked ugly.

God damn it. I wasn't exactly known for having good looks. I was quite plain, honestly. Round boyish face and light freckles. Extremely average. But now with this big knot on my head, which was making it increasingly harder to see, I was silently wondering if I'd have a huge scar.

I wasn't vain, by any means, but I did take a little pride in the fact that I had a relatively clear complexion. I wanted to groan.

The man the midget referred to as Chuckles sighed, probably from the ridiculous nickname, and came forward. I only saw his feet, at first, because I was still on the ground. I peered up and saw the bald dude staring down at me with a frown on his face.

"Can you take a look at her, Solas?" The Herald asked, looking over at the man. He simply nodded and crouched down to help me up. Baldy was an elf, too. Well how 'bout that.

"We must first get her to a dryer area." Chuckles (or Solas, but Chuckles sounds funnier) replied as he lead me down the road a ways and sat me down on a boulder. He helped me remove my bag, much to my pain, and set it beside me on the ground. Was he a nurse or something? I tilted my head in question and was about to ask, but someone spoke.

"You cannot be serious." Cassandra butted in, sounding almost disgusted with the idea of helping me. I was wondering what the hell it was that I did to piss this lady off. I was used to not being liked, sure, but that usually happened  _ _after__  they met me and realized how much of a sarcastic ass I was. I huffed and looked away, my heart rate slowing down. I wasn't going to let my guard down, though. Miss Stabby might do me in if I wasn't careful.

"Contrary to what you might believe," I started as I looked back up to the gruff woman, "Stabbing people doesn't solve all of your problems."

"Girl's got a point." Midget put in with a sort of lopsided grin on his face as he observed me.

She simply scowled at me with her sword still drawn. I saw a green light envelope me for mere seconds before I blinked in surprise, the warmth I'd felt making me almost jump off of the wall.

"What was that?" I looked around to find the source, but only found the serious face of Chuckles as he stared back at me.

Have you ever had your shoulder reset from being dislocated? It was possibly the most unpleasant feeling ever. Well, unpleasant being a  _complete_  fucking understatement. I could have sworn I heard my shoulder make a loud popping noise as he did so. I could most definitely feel my joint or my bones grinding against one another, causing my vision to go fuzzy.

I screeched in pain.

It seemed I was screeching and groaning in pain a lot, today.

"S-Solas!" I could faintly hear the Herald yell, but my screeching drowned her out.

"Calm." He simply replied, as I breathed heavily. I felt the familiar warmth again as my pain ebbed away and the spots in my vision receded. "She had a dislocated shoulder, is all."

I clenched my teeth to keep myself from whimpering like a kicked dog. I was  _ _not__  expecting that. Chuckles pulled out what looked to be a vial and held it out to me.

"Just drink half of this later after you've got that cleaned out." He motioned his hand toward my wound on my face, "Then take the other half in the morning, you should be better by tomorrow."

"T-Tomorrow? The hell's in this thing?" My eyes widened as I took the odd looking vial. It seemed to have a syrupy looking liquid in it. He seemed almost confused, as if I should know what the thing in my hand was. But I didn't.

"A dislocated shoulder? Please don't tell me you actually got into a fight with a Druffalo." Midget seemed more relaxed, his crossbow aimed at the ground now. The female elf in the back, with the bow, giggled evilly.

"I crashed, actually."

"Crashed?" He raised a brow, seemingly confused (and oddly almost disappointed).

"Yeah... I was driving my c-car-" I sneezed loudly, accidentally spraying Chuckles in the process. The young woman in the back was really cracking up, now. Said bald elf looked beyond pissed as he wiped his face off. His eye had this almost psychotic twitch for a second before it was gone, like it was never there. I thought he was going to hit me with his stick there for a second. "Apologies." I offered in the most unapologetic tone ever, seeing him nod and get up.

He grunted as he stood up, walking in the other direction as he continued to wipe his face off. I shivered, looking up at the group.

"It's whateves, really need to get me some ale. After all of that demoney business, gonna have nightmares for weeks. Eugh! You guys can handle an unarmed civilian, yeah?" The young blonde elf waved as she jogged by and on down the road, her bow strapped to her back. I sighed through my nose and flicked my eyes toward the rest of them. Midget seemed indifferent to my presence now while Chuckles sat in the back with a carefully blank look on his face.

Now I felt oddly indebted to these people, since their nurse guy fixed my arm. My eye twitched, realizing that is probably what their ulterior motive was. Everyone always had ulterior motives. I would know, I've run into many people that have tried to use me or manipulate me. I've learned to just expect it by now. Just my luck that I'd wake up and run into a group of crazies.

Fricken hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyn is not guaranteed to get along with everyone (for very obvious reasons), so I apologize if she ends up not getting along with one of your favorite characters. I know she hates one of mine. ;~ ; Such sad. Wow.


	2. Haven

The next thing I knew I was being hauled by the scruff of my jacket toward this 'Haven' place. Cassandra wasn't happy at first, but finally conceded after a few words from the Herald lady. The Herald seemed like a really nice person, but I'd known people to be real nice at first. You'd let your guard down and that's when they'd strike. Trusting people only got you hurt, so I didn't see myself trusting these people anytime soon.

I'd assumed we were headed to their cosplay convention or something, but as we neared the walls I began to realize just how wrong I was. The walls were high and surrounded by tents and people. Lots of people. Or, rather, soldiers. Except these soldiers weren't in the usual uniform I was used to. They were running around in full plate armor, sometimes leather armor. It was baffling. The stuff they were wearing didn't look cheap, either. Armor like that was hard to come by nowadays. I was stuck with my brows furrowed (which hurt the knot on my head) as I thought about where the hell I could be.

"Keep moving." Cassandra's harsh tone sounded from behind me as she shoved me forward. I grunted and sent a glare back at her, but otherwise kept my mouth shut. Chuckles and Midget (who I'd learned was named Varric) had left ahead and into the town they referred to as Haven after they'd determined I was no longer a threat.

They'd also confiscated my hunting knife, after I admitted I had it. Cassandra walked behind me, sword still drawn, and the Herald walked right beside me. She'd been sending me apologetic glances the whole trek back.

Whatever Chuckles had done back there left me with my arm fully functional. It still hurt, sure. But I was actually able to move it, now. For that, I was silently grateful. I didn't want to see what my face looked like right now, though. I felt the dried blood on the side of my face, which informed me that I had some cuts I needed to get cleaned.

As we neared the gate to Haven, I was overcome with a sense of familiarity. Almost as if I'd been here before. Which was crazy, really. I'd never set foot in this place in my life, I'd remember right? The walls were massive! It was set next to a frozen pond (or lake), soldiers in armor sparring out in front. Metal clanging on metal greeted my ears as we slowly ambled by, snow crunching beneath our feet. One man stood, seemingly directing them or correcting them when need be. His armor was different, and shinier, having some type of fluffy object that draped over his shoulders. Absolutely fabulous.

After seeing so many people, I realized just how out of place  _ _I__  was. I thought the small group that confronted me was dressed weird, it seemed to be a norm around here. That was a frightening thought. Now, I'd always been the black sheep. The odd one out. But this was almost ridiculous. My gray cargo pants were baggy on me and my fluffy black jacket (which was just an oversized zip up sweater, really). I was also wearing a gray striped long sleeve underneath this sweater, so I wasn't exactly cold.

It also didn't get passed me that I was also the biggest person I'd seen, so to say. There were always tubby people around wherever I went, but nearly everyone I saw wasn't even as close to as full of figure as I was. The thought made me pout a little.

Though said fluffiness did, in fact, give me some benefits. Such as contributing to keeping me warm in such cold weather. Unfortunately it didn't seem to help much now that I was all wet and consequently freezing my ass off. But still. 

"Sooooo." I tried for the third time since they started to drag me off, I peered over at Cassandra. "I know your name is Cassandra. What about you?" I then looked over at the Herald, "They only refer to you as... Herald. Herald of what, I don't know. Don't care. I'd like to know your name."

 _'I want to know the name of my captors. Since I am being forced around as I am.'_ Went completely unsaid. I tried my best to smile, but it probably looked kind of creepy. Never was good at smiling. The Herald didn't seem to mind. If anything she almost brightened at my question of her name.

"Linalli Lavellan." She replied, her gray eyes twinkling. "I prefer being called Lynn, though, if you'd please."

My eyes widened, ' _ _Heh. Odd coincidence.'__

"R-right... Nice to meet you, Lynn. My name is... also Lyn." I drawled. Her big eyes blinked for a second, before she let out a laugh. I remained stoic as she continued to laugh, then it toned down to a giggle. Then she stopped.

"O-oh, you're serious?" Her tone of voice sounded almost baffled for a second, delicate fingers covering her lips. Though her smile remained.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Shortened from Lynnette, actually."

"I've never heard anyone else with the same nickname, how odd!"

"She could be lying." Cassandra butted in as we entered the gates to Haven, the archway so tall I had to crane my neck to see. I slowly looked back down and met the angry warrior's gaze with a blank look of my own, "We don't know who she is. What she is, for that matter."

"The hell do you have against me, woman?" I snapped back, trying my utmost hardest not to flail my arms angrily. "Usually people hate me  _ _after__  they meet me and find out how much of an ass I am. But you... you hated me from the start. Why?"

"I saw the tracks, where you ran from. They appeared out of nowhere. Almost like you  _ _teleported__." She growled out accusingly, pulling out her sword again.  _'Shing!'_  She then pointed it in my direction, making my body tense. "Tell me what you are! Demon? Apostate!?"

Her voice was starting to attract attention, which was making me nervous. One yelling lunatic was enough, but a dozen? Some of the people around us started to whisper, as we stood at the entrance of Haven. Please don't tell me these people actually believed her.

"Is there a problem here, Herald?" A man asked as he came into my line of vision. It was the man from earlier, with the fluffy contraption on his shoulders. He had short blonde hair with a scar just over his lip. Seemed like the typical dude any girl would fall for – tall, blonde and handsome. My gaze turned flat. Was he just going to allow this crazy woman to wave her sharp ass sword in my face? Lynn, the Herald, held up her hand as if to tell him to wait.

"Is this true?" The Herald asked of me, looking directly into my eyes. I looked between her and Cassandra, blinking confusedly. They can't be  _serious_.

"I woke up … in the snow." I spoke slowly, as if to a child, "In that field. I didn't...  _ _teleport__."

I tried to glare, but it looked more like I was squinting. I was also shivering … and not just from the cold. I was afraid the woman was about to cut my face off. What's next, are they going to accuse me of being a witch and burn me at the stake?

"No one appears out of nowhere like that. You've got to be a mage! An apostate!" Damn. I was close on the 'witch' part. I started to laugh, a low chuckle at first. Then it slowly grew into an almost hysterical sounding cackle. In hindsight, my almost horse-like way I laughed in her face was probably sort of rude. But that didn't seem to matter as my stomach began to hurt from said laughter.

"A  _ _mage__." That was when it started to sound even more hysterical, the thought was absurd! "Y-You think...I'm a _mage_?"

I asked the question between chuckles. Her angered look turned sour, if at all possible. Lynn seemed confused as she examined me, as if I'd hop around and start doing magic tricks right on the spot. I wiped away a stray tear that gathered on the side of my eye, and I sighed.

"Mages aren't real." I finally conceded after I'd finished laughing, "You people are crazy."

Cassandra's expression dropped and she seemed confused. Her sword, which was previously pointed at my head, was now aimed at the ground. The man with the fluff seemed just as confused, if not more so, than Cassandra was. I was now being looked at like I had grown a second head.

"She must've hit her head harder than we thought..." I knew that tone of voice. My eyes snapped toward Lynn, who was looking at me with pity in her eyes. I swallowed the urge to snap back at her or start growling in frustration. I hated it when people pitied me.

"I'm afraid so." Cassandra sheathed her weapon. "We should still question her, find out where she's from. Who she is... for that matter."

The Herald nodded in agreement and grabbed my arm. I flinched from the contact and tried to pull away, not liking being touched. I always hated that. She looked back and smiled at me, but gently led me deeper into Haven.

We passed a row of tents and I saw Varric sitting nearby cleaning his crossbow. He offered a wave in our direction, but I had no idea who he was waving at – me or the Herald? I just blinked and looked forward, toward our destination. We walked up some stairs here and there, a dirt path led the way toward a rather large building. The largest one in the town, in fact. I blinked in amazement, seeing how tall the building was. It was made out of really old looking brick, which you definitely don't see everyday. Everything around here looked so much different and it was starting to scare me. The scariest part was, the air seemed cleaner. Which gave me the impression I wasn't on Earth anymore. I've been places with less people, less pollution. But this... the air here seemed so fresh.

I was more than just scared. I was terrified.

I wasn't about to let that drag me down, though. There had been many times in my life where I had been scared shitless, but not once had I ever let that stop me. Sure I'd cower for a little bit, hide from my problems for a little while. But I'm at that point in my life now, at 21 years old, that I realized that cowering and hiding never solved anything. So I just go with the flow.

Hopefully that works out.

I was lost in my thoughts as I was being led by the Herald as they talked about their... mission? Something about Therinfal something. Then something else about templars. I wasn't really paying much attention. I had no reason to. We entered the ancient looking building and walked into an impressive hall. People could be seen standing around, chatting. I paid them no mind, not wanting to draw attention to myself, and focused on my feet. The soft carpet in the middle of the grand hall passed by slowly beneath my boots. Cassandra was still behind me as she lead me over and pushed me against the wall at the far end, next to the big door.

"You are to stay here. Once we are done briefing them, we will have a little chat." She explained, giving me her no-nonsense look. I blinked slowly and nodded, trying to keep a straight face. Cassandra opened the door and entered, followed by blondie (Mr Fluff) and Miss Lavellan. As the wavy haired elf entered, she looked my way and offered a smile.

If it was meant to comfort me, it didn't. I swallowed my anxiety and heard the door slam shut. It also didn't escape my notice that Cassandra had taken my bag in with them.

After a few minutes of waiting, and hearing them argue a bit behind the door (you'd think they'd try to soundproof the thing), I started to fidget around. I really needed some clean water and a cloth. The blood on the side of my face was starting to itch, along with my wound. If I didn't get it cleaned up fast, it would start to get infected. My eyes flicked to the scar on my arm just below my left elbow, remembering how the large wound had gotten infected. Infections were no joke.

I heard some clattering on the other side of the door and yells. Could have sworn I heard something along the lines of 'Demon!' or 'He's not what you think he is!' but I brushed it off as normal. My eyebrow twitched. ' _ _They seem to think everything is demonic or evil. What is with these people?'__

"...it'll be fine." I faintly heard the Herald say to them, I kicked the floor with my boot and sighed. I had a feeling their meeting might take awhile, not that I was complaining. The longer they took, the longer it was until my potential doom. I peeked down at the rug that was at my left, in front of the door and spanning the great hall.

"Where'd he go!?"

"Don't worry, he does that."

It had to have been about a half hour now, because someone had gone and fetched Chuckles for the meeting in the room. What they were talking about, I didn't know. I sighed, looking at the door. Please keep talking. I needed to think of a way out of here. I had a feeling there weren't phones anywhere nearby, which solidified my theory that I wasn't anywhere I should feasibly even be.

"Watching. Waiting. ' _ _I shouldn't be here. I don't belong.__ '" A soft voice spoke from my right. I swore I jumped two feet into the air, what is it with people and sneaking up on me?! I bit back a shriek and snapped my eyes over toward the owner of the voice.

I growled in warning.

A taller, lanky boy wearing dirty leather clothing stood beside me. Blonde hair draped over his eyes. He also seemed to be hiding underneath a ridiculously large hat. Well,  _boy_  would hardly be the right term. More like awkward young man. Yeah. Said person tilted his head to the side in question. I didn't speak. I didn't know what to say, really. I wasn't even sure if I was  _ _allowed__  to speak to anyone, with the way Cassandra was treating me earlier. Was he going to hurt me too?

"I don't want to hurt you. I want to help you." He stated, as if it were obvious. How was I to know? The Herald promised I wouldn't get hurt, but I got tossed around like a sack of potatoes anyway. The blonde shook his head at me, as if disagreeing. Had I said that aloud? I blinked, that couldn't be right. "The fear inside of you. It curls, tightens. Makes it hard to breathe. Hard to think. You think they'll hurt you too, just like everyone else did. But they won't."

"I can't be sure of that..." I finally spoke, looking up at the awkward dude. He certainly had an odd way of speaking, but it didn't bother me all that much. He just kept staring at me, blue eyes seemingly staring straight through my soul. I observed his features and couldn't help but feel like I'd seen him somewhere before. "D..Do we know eachother?" I asked softly.

"No." But I was almost certain I'd seen him. Now that I think of it, Cassandra and the Herald looked familiar too. I felt like I was missing something. A piece of my memory was gone, just like the memory of why I'd been driving in that blizzard. I squinted.

"I've seen you before, I'm certain." I sighed and looked away toward the entrance of the main hall. The door was open, as if inviting me. Tempting me to run. But then again, I could always try to lie my way out of the situation. Not that I was particularly fond of the idea. It went against my morals. My aunt always told me -

"The truth will set you free."

My eyes widened, looking around for the boy. But I found nothing. Almost as if he'd never been there to begin with. It creeped me the fuck out.

"How the-" I took a few steps ahead of me, peeking into the room and seeing an empty office. I walked a ways to the left room, seeing an empty room. The nearest people were on the other end of the hall, still conversing or busy cleaning something up.

I brought my arms up and held myself, feeling cold all of a sudden. I wasn't sure what to feel. Was he just a figment of my imagination? Or perhaps the people around here were ninjas.  _ _Yeah__. Nothing ever made sense since the crash.

__What if I was dead?_ _

I started breathing heavily. What if I really was dead? What if the crash had killed me, and this was my soul's way of trying to get me to pass on? I'd always liked fantasy games based in the past with swords and bows, armor and horses. Better yet,  _ _dragons__. God I hope there were no dragons here.

Perhaps I was here on some sort of sick self gratifying vision/journey to help me get over whatever had happened in my past life? The people in my culture believed in such things, since I was Ojibwe/Chippewa, but  _I_  did not. I always thought 'visions' was just a term to make 'dreams' sound all mystical and shit. My ancestors would roll over in their graves if they knew what I was thinking.

I choked back a laugh, realizing my eyes were watering. I didn't let my tears fall though as I blinked them away. God this was all a mess. I highly doubted I was dead, judging by how much my injuries hurt. If you're dead, do you still feel pain?

No.

Even through all of this, I still felt lighter. Less anxious.  _ _Everything will be okay...__

I did some breathing exercises to calm myself down for a few minutes, and as if on cue the door creaked open at my side. The Herald peeked her head out and nodded in my direction, motioning for me to come in. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what was to come. Solas made his way out, not even acknowledging me as he passed. I'd even tried to wave, but nope. Assmunch.

As I gradually eased myself into the room, careful not to move too far from the door. Just in case. There weren't many people in here, thank God, as I looked around and studied their expressions. To the left of the door, which was now closed, Cassandra stood eying me warily. Three others stood surrounding a big table in the middle of the room.

A woman with shiny chainmail with a blue hood and short cropped red hair was looking at me with a calculating stare. She wasn't outright glaring at me, no, but I could tell she was sizing me up. The fluffy man from earlier was next, straight across from me, observing the stuff on the table in front of him. Then to the right of the table a rather fancily dressed tanned woman with curly black hair held some type of clipboard with a candle on the top.

Wonderful. I had always hated being the center of attention, but with what Cassandra had said who could blame them? I did, after all, appear out of nowhere in the middle of the field. Or, at least, I think I did. Trying to see things from their perspective, I realized how fishy it seemed. A random woman, dressed oddly, appears screeching and running for her life. It also appeared as though this was a rather small town that didn't get many visitors. I sighed.

I also assumed the thing in the sky had everyone on edge, if the snippets of conversation I'd heard on my way up here was anything to go by.

The Herald, who was standing in front of me, cleared her throat and motioned toward the big table in front of me. It was pretty good craftsmanship and made out of nice wood, I noted offhandedly. I then saw what was on top of the table. A map, for one, but my things were strewn about all over the table and covering most of it. My bag lay abandoned off to the side near the woman with the hood. I would have asked for their names, but I had a feeling this was more like an interrogation. No interrogation I knew of had pleasant introductions and never really ended well. I gulped.

"Care to explain some of this?" Lynn asked nicely, "These are your things, yes?"

"That is correct." I nodded in affirmation, taking a cautious step forward. I looked at her for permission. She nodded, allowing me to get a closer look.

I couldn't really remember everything I packed, so I was silently hoping nothing out of the ordinary was laying on that table. The first thing I noticed was a black case, making my eyes light up. I just about jumped to grab it, but froze as I heard the sound of a sword being pulled out of it's sheathe. Slowly turning my head, I saw Cassandra (surprise) holding it out but not at me.

"My glasses. I can't see without them." I explained shortly, "May I?"

She seemed to think for a moment but nodded, still keeping her sword ready. I picked up the case and opened them, just about crying in relief at the sight of my black plastic framed glasses. Swiftly grabbing them, I unfolded them and put them on my face. I was finally able to see clearly. It was an old prescription, but it would do. Not much had changed, but their procedure was to replace my glasses every few years or so. I let out a sigh and looked at everything else on the table, ignoring the odd looks I was getting from the people in the room.

"The material your clothing is made out of is rather high quality." The tanned woman to my right observed, holding one of my shirts in one of her delicate hands. Her accent sounded odd, I'd never heard it before. She then looked over at Lavellan. "The stitching is marvelous. After we've talked to her, if you'd be so kind, could I question about the tailor or merchant she acquired it from?"

"We don't even know if she's from around here." The hooded redhead stated, her voice sounded really feminine. Pretty.

"These are some pretty odd patterns." I heard the blonde fluffy man grumble, making me look in his direction. I saw him staring down at something in his hands and I fought to keep a blush from forming on my face.

He was holding a pair of my underwear.

My favorite pair, to be completely honest. They were spotted and of different colors of the rainbow. Which was obviously something you don't see often around here. Well, I'd assume so. Don't judge. I don't like wearing colors, but no one sees my underwear... so who cares? God damn it, didn't they know what underwear were?! I was thoroughly embarrassed, which must have caught the attention of the redhead.

"Is something the matter?" She asked, not sounding concerned at all. I looked at her, then back at the blonde man.

"What is this?" He asked, holding it up for everyone to see.

"That's uhh. What do you guys call it here...? They are..." I fumbled, motioning to my crotch area with my little fingers. "Under clothes?"

It took a few seconds, but he let them go as if he'd been burned and stuttered out an apology. I put my hand on my face, shaking my head. Of all the people... the only man in the room and he grabs my underwear. What'd I say about bad luck running in the family again? I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Well, these are obviously my clothes." I explained, seeing a few shirts and jeans folded near the tanned woman. Who, might I add, was still looking at them like they were gems. A few bras were also placed near the stack, thankfully away from blondie. I looked and in the middle of the table sat a bottle of shampoo and bar of soap. I pointed at it.

"That's my soap right there, don't remember packing it but that's cool." I noted offhandedly. "I'm sure you guys know what a comb is..." I mentioned, flicking my eyes over the only comb I had. Then there was a box, which held some granola bars and next to it sat a bottle of honey. "That's my food stash, for … just in case."

Feeling the need to elaborate, I continued. "In case my blood sugars get low. I'm pre-diabetic and if I don't eat all day I could end up hurting myself. Or worse." I shrugged.

They obviously didn't know what diabetes was, if their blank expressions were anything to go by, but I'd explain later if they asked. They were sweet snacks to keep me alive, to put it simply. I didn't have many issues yet, but diabetes ran heavily in my family (But no one runs in your family, Lyn! Hah hah. Funny.). It was a damn surprise I didn't have it already, to be honest. I got lucky. Too bad I didn't pack my blood checker. Balls.

There wasn't really much else, except for a few small boxes sitting in front of the hooded woman. She grabbed something from behind said boxes and held it up, turning the black chunk of metal in her hand.

"What is this, then?" What she held up was a handgun, making me let out a loud ' _ _GAH__!' as I dropped to the floor behind the table.

"Don't aim that at me, what the fuck!?" I yelled frantically as I peered over the table cautiously, "Are you crazy, woman?!"

She looked at the heavy piece of metal, a semi-shocked look on her face. The redhead looked it over much closely, now. Obviously getting the impression that it was dangerous. Now that the thing wasn't aimed at me, I slowly stood back up and watched her. It was mine, sure. But I don't remember why I even packed it.

I had gotten a carry permit months ago, purchasing this as a result. This isn't odd, seeing as how I'm a Law Enforcement student. I just wanted to be ahead of the game, since I was still in school. I had no professional training, yet. Why had I taken it, though? Perhaps to keep my mother from pawning it out of spite. Sounds like something she'd do...

The redhead turned the gun around in her hand, making me shift uneasily. She was holding it all wrong, and I didn't even know if the thing was loaded. Realizing that if she accidentally shot herself (or someone else), it would be on  _my_  head. I opened my mouth to speak.

"Can I see that for a second?" I asked, trying to sound polite but obviously failing. I sounded more nervous than anything, "You're going to end up hurting someone."

She shot a glare my way, "How are we to know you won't use it against us? It is a weapon, no?"

"It is." I sighed and pointed at the gun, explaining slowly how to empty the magazine. As it was popped out, she set it down and I felt a little more at ease. It had the safety on, but I didn't know if it would accidentally get turned off with the way she was fumbling around with it like that. Though I knew I never kept it loaded in the first place. It was always good to be cautious and respect guns. Never aim them at something you don't intend to kill.

"Look. You guys took my hunting knife and now you have my handgun, which was expensive mind you. What more do you want? This is all I have." I motioned to everything on the table.

"You said you were driving your cart, and you crashed." Cassandra spoke up, "But we saw no cart... no horses got loose."

"My car.  _ _Caaar__." I drug out the word, looking at her. "You know, big metal contraption. Runs on fuel." I waved my hands around, obviously being sarcastic. This only got a raised eyebrow from her.

With the way their eyes showed no recognition at what I was speaking of, I started to panic. "You really have no idea what I'm talking about, do you."

"I'm afraid not..." Lavellan stated from my side. I looked at her with widened brown eyes, feeling my eyebrow begin to twitch.

"Where... where exactly am I?" I sounded hesitant, because I was. I wasn't completely sure if I even wanted to know, at this point. But if I didn't find out, there was no chance in hell I'd be able to find my way back home.

"We're the ones asking the questions here!" Cassandra's voice made me jump, my body became that much more jittery as I began to shake in my spot near the door frame. The torch behind me crackled and sent flickering light on the faces of the people nearby.

"Ferelden. Western Ferelden, to be exact. In the Frostback Mountains." Lavellan answered, obviously not listening to the noisy woman to her left. None of that sounded familiar at all. Funny, because minutes ago I was thinking about how familiar the place  _looked_. But nothing sounded familiar at all.

"That means absolutely nothing to me, as I have no idea what Ferelden even is... I'm from the United States of America. Minnesota. You know?" I laughed nervously. No answer. "War mongering assholes, that's us. Always butting our heads in where it doesn't belong?" I elaborated. Still nothing. "Are you fucking kidding me!?"

I was on the verge of having a panic attack when someone suddenly poofed to existence right beside me. If I wasn't panicking before, I was now. I screeched and backpedaled, hitting the hard surface behind me with a  _'Thud!'_.

"She's telling the truth." He said. It was the awkward dude from earlier, with the weird hat. I was breathing heavily as I had my body pushed flush against the wall close to the door.

"Y-you!" I yelled and pointed at him almost accusingly, "How did you do that?!"

The others seemed to share my shock, as they too seemed to jump at his presence. To be fair, at least they didn't draw their weapons at him. Well except for Cassandra, who already had her sword out to begin with. The blonde fluffy man had his hand on the hilt of his sword and he seemed like he was about to say something.

"Cole, you need to stop doing that. It scares people." Lavellan spoke instead, as if chiding a close friend of hers. She didn't even seem phased by the fact that he'd seemed to have appeared _out of fucking nowhere!_

"I'm sorry. I'll try." The awkward dude nodded in her direction. He then fiddled around with his hands and looked over in my direction and addressed me. "You're afraid of me. No. Of what I can do, am capable of. Not  _me_."

He spoke almost like he couldn't comprehend why I would fear his abilities but not him. It was kind of like how I felt with Cassandra, really. I feared her brute strength, but I didn't fear her as a person. Not yet, anyway. Even with my fatalistic view of humanity I always tried to make a conscious effort to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Tried, key word. 

I was starting to finally realize I wasn't back home anymore. People that appeared out of nowhere, swords, bows, metal armor. This place was  _ _not__  Earth. I assumed that people appearing out of nowhere like he did was not normal, by any means. Which was a relief, actually. I'd really hate having to deal with fricking ninjas on top of lunatics screaming about demons and mages.

Which brought up another thought. Mages were probably real, as well. Demons, too. The prospect of that made me feel nauseous. My heartbeat started to finally calm down a bit, as I knew that if he wanted me dead I would be dead already. He could  _ _teleport__ , for fucks sake. Cassandra's suspicions of me teleporting finally made sense. Because it was  _ _possible__.

I pushed myself away from the wall, looking around at everyone else in the room now. I brushed the non-existent dirt off of the front of my clothing, trying to regain what little dignity I had.

"I've come to the conclusion that I've either completely lost my mind or I'm not on Earth anymore." I sighed and tacked on after a few moments of silence, "Maybe both."

"Earth...?" Lavellan was looking at me now, grey eyes shining with confusion and maybe a little curiosity.

"It's... what we call the world, where I am from. I don't know what you guys call it here. God. This is so …" I felt sick. The fatigue finally started to set in, as my body's exhausted state started to catch up with me. I was just standing there, wounded and probably with a concussion. Rest is something I needed.

Trying to explain to these people that I was not a threat would not be an easy task. It was pretty obvious Lavellan and this... Cole person didn't see me as one. Or perhaps they did but were better at hiding it. The tanned woman didn't seem to have an opinion, however. The others seemed wary. And rightfully so.

Where I came from, the wars we had were often very destructive and cost lots of lives. I wasn't sure what theirs were like here, but I knew that the gun that the hooded woman had wouldn't make things any better. If they found a way to reverse engineer it … I'd be responsible for many deaths. Pain.

I could feel my chest constrict at the thought. I needed to find a way to hide it or perhaps keep it in my possession until I could find a way to dispose of it correctly. I was staring at the gun on the table in front of her with a sad look in my eye, my face completely passive.

"Explosions. Fire. Screams. So many people dead.  _ _'If that gets in the wrong hands, so many could …__ die _ _.'__ " I heard Cole say, his voice sounding almost pained at the end. "The Inquisition won't let it happen. They want to help, like me."

 _'It's never that simple. Especially with an organization that called itself the Inquisition.'_ He was trying to reassure me, I knew. It no longer baffled me to learn that he could probably dig around in my head. I was too tired to care.

"Is what he says true?" The hooded woman asked, looking down at the small black weapon. "This small thing?"

"It's possible, yes. If you reverse engineer that thing... the information one could learn could be... catastrophic." I shook my head, "That thing may be small, but it's powerful. It is not for this world."

If they even could, that is. They still seemed to be stuck using melee weapons that are considered ancient from my world.

"You keep saying 'this world', like you don't belong here."

"I don't." My reply was simple and resigned. I didn't know if they would even believe me, but I only hoped they wouldn't try to use it for their own gain.

"You look tired... perhaps you should get a night's rest before we continue anymore questioning." Lynn looked at everyone else in the room. I closed my eyes, the light from the candles hurting my head.

They continued to talk for a little while, trying to determine what to do with the gun and where to put it. I still didn't like the idea of them even having it in their possession and I seemed to space out where I stood. It was eventually decided that I get to occupy a spare shack that was being used as storage space. A bed would be placed in there, but in the mean time I was to see the town doctor to get my face properly cleaned.

It didn't escape my notice that I slowly made myself comfortable behind the Herald and Cole, almost as if hiding from the others. At least  _they_  didn't glare at me and wave weapons in my face.

Once they called the meeting (I still say it was an interrogation.) to an end, I was lead to the doctor. I'm still not even sure what they call it here, but I'll just call them the doctor. I was properly cleaned and patched up. I took half of the vial Solas had given me earlier and followed Lynn to my lovely little shack. I wouldn't call the bed in the shack a bed at all, really. But it was still a place to sleep, as I slowly made my way inside of the small space designated for me. The shack had a few holes in the wall here and there that seemed to be patched oddly, but it was still significantly warmer in here than out there. That was fine by me.

I looked around, seeing small windows on each side of the door and on the opposite wall. It was no bigger than my bedroom back home, really. The only thing in here being the shoddy bed in the far left corner, with blankets thrown on top haphazardly. The other side had bags of grain or oats, along with some ropes and other odd things. I think I saw gardening tools, I'm not sure. Definitely a storage shed. I silently thanked the Gods that there seemed to be no spiders or webs in here, so it must have been recently cleaned. I slowly walked over to the bed and burrowed underneath the blankets, not even bothering to change or take my shoes off. I was out before I even realized it.

* * *

That night I had some pretty horrible dreams. The big tear in the sky was releasing demons – pride demons, terrors, rage demons. I saw everyone fighting them and clearing a path for Lynn to get through. So she could close the Breach.

I paid no heed to the fact that I knew what types of demons they were or the fact that I felt as if I saw this happen before. I knew what was going to happen. The next thing I know, everyone was back at Haven. Partying. Celebrating their victory. I was overcome with a sense of dread as I suddenly heard screaming and an alarm being sound. The bell chimed through the night air almost ominously as everyone jumped up in a flurry of action.

My eyes snapped open and I was breathing heavily. Their screams still fresh in my mind and I could have sworn I could still hear the alarm. The bell. A cold sweat had settled it's way over my body as I shook in terror. I half expected to wake up to some beeping and the sterile smell of a hospital, but no such luck. It was dark and chilly. The worn out wood that made up the shack I resided in groaned from the wind outside, some snow flitting through the cracks in the panels.

This was  _real_. I finally knew why everything was so familiar.

For some odd, God's forsaken reason, I was on Thedas. More specifically, when Dragon Age: Inquisition took place. I bit back a scream as I sat up, clutching the blankets in my hands with all my strength. My only response to my current predicament?

"Fuck..." I rasped. Well, at least it wasn't during Origins right? I could have been worse. Much much worse.

"You finally remember." A voice startled me out of my thoughts, causing my head to snap up toward the bags of grain on the other side of the shack. My heart thudded in my chest, expecting something to pop out and attack me.

It wasn't far away, but I saw the outline of a person sitting there. Cole, I realized. Almost immediately I calmed and let out a deep breath. Shit, it's just Cole. Okay, get yourself together Lyn.

"Y-Yeah." Was the only thing I could get out of my mouth, throat dry and voice scratchy. Had I been screaming? No.

He had probably been called over by my terrifying dreams and realizations of where I was. The fear I felt. I sighed in relief, knowing I could at least trust him. I knew for a fact that he wouldn't do anything intentional to hurt me. Unless I was going to hurt someone else, that is. Which was not likely.

The glow coming from the windows, indicating that it was dawn, casting very faint light over his features. It made him look very ominous. I forced myself not to grin at the thought. I turned my body and let my feet dangle over the edge of the bed, noticing that I was in my socks. I blinked in confusion, remembering that I'd laid down with my boots still  _ _on__.

"Your feet hurt. The boots were constricting. Painful. I took them off. They didn't mind."

Yep, there he goes. I let out a quiet breathy laugh and looked down at the foot of my bed, seeing them neatly set on the floor. I didn't mind, per se, but I was not expecting it. I was, however, expecting his odd way of speaking.

"I don't always say things right. I'm sorry." He apologized and tilted his head to hide his face behind his hat, probably picking up on my expression and how odd I thought he was. I was almost used to it, since I constantly used him in my parties on Dragon Age. I found it endearing, actually. Kind of adorable. I shook my head,

"It's alright, really. I understand you just fine." I huffed, looking at the window next to the door. It didn't look like anyone was even up and about, yet. So I still had some time to think. I had to think of what I was to do. I remember hearing them talk about the mission at Therinfal Redoubt yesterday, which means they are to close the breach soon.

How soon, I didn't know. But I did know that I had the chance to make sure more people lived. I had a chance to help. I grumbled, putting my face in my hands. What was I to do first? Why was I even here? Would they even believe me?

Which brought another random thought. The Herald, future inquisitor of the Inquisition, was the first and only character I'd created. She always did the right thing and was highly empathetic. I closed my eyes, feeling embarrassed for no reason at all. Maybe. I had modeled her after me. Or, well, a prettier elfier version of me. I had even named her Lynn. But with two 'N's because reasons.

If there was ever a time I wished I'd finished a game, it would be now. I didn't even get far enough to finish any of the Inner Circle quests! I let out a groan and looked up at the ceiling. What God did I piss off to get put here? Especially so damn unprepared.

This had to be some cosmic joke.

I didn't know if Lynn would believe me, but the possibility that I could be right. That lives could be lost, would likely put her on guard after she closed the breach. In the very least, they'd be prepared. I knew that she wouldn't just discard my suggestion or anything I said. That would be enough. I wanted to do more, though. There had to be something else.

After they get to Skyhold, hopefully with me still being alive, I could try to find a way home. I remembered seeing flickers of green as I'd gotten knocked out from the crash. What if I came through the Fade? Or, you know, I was dead and this was all just one big dream. I sighed, dismissing that last thought. Doubtful.

I looked up, seeing Cole still sitting there. He was staring at me with a blank look on his face, but I knew he was probably aware of my thoughts … or emotions. Maybe both? I was still unsure of the extent of his abilities, but what I was certain of was I needed help getting my point across and he would likely ... well ... help. Ugh. This was going to be difficult.

I bent down and started to put on my boots, then standing up. I started my normal stretching routine, to get the kinks out of my muscles from the stiff bed and looked over at Cole. He had stood up, as well, and was now standing in the middle of the room.

"Cole..." I spoke softly, almost unsure of how to word my question. "I... kinda need your help?"

His features were hidden by the shadow his large floppy hat was casting. I stepped a bit closer and peeked underneath it. I hadn't gotten too close, as I was unsure if I'd make him uncomfortable if I popped his personal bubble.

"You know what was. What is. You saw what's going to happen and want to help. So many people will get hurt if you don't do anything. If  _ _we__  don't do anything. Yes." Was his answer to my question. I didn't even need to elaborate. He just knew. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding, feeling immense relief knowing I wasn't alone in this.


	3. Coming Clean

It was finally brighter outside and, in turn, making it much easier to see in this room as well. The chill from the night finally started to warm, just a little. Well, warm for being in the Frostback Mountains that is. It was kind of like being at home, really. Cole had poofed out of existence minutes ago, leaving me to do whatever. I blinked and began to look around and noticed my bag was sitting next to the bed. I knew instantly that the gun was probably confiscated and hidden, so I didn't even try to look for it.

I bent over to look in the bag, but my muscles protested. The front of my body felt bruised and I was stiff, despite the stretches I'd forced myself to do earlier. I stood back up and lifted my shirt, looking to see any damage. Surprisingly it was only yellowing skin with faint bruising which extended as low as my abdomen all the way up to my collar bone. Blotches of discolored skin dappled the area. I'd expected much more, to be honest. Which brought on another thought, I could actually see out of my left eye now. Doing a quick check of my wound on my head confirmed that the swelling had decreased exponentially.

That thing Solas gave me must have been a potion of some sort. The stuff from this place, I knew, was much different than home. At home, I would have likely been bedridden for days before I could actually walk around like I was doing just then.

I remembered the doctor, which I now knew was called an apothecary and was quite grumpy mind you, picking out pieces of glass from my head just yesterday. The thought made me wince. I really must have gotten thrown from the car. Which didn't serve to make me feel any better. Letting out a sigh, I slowly slipped on a new set of clothing. The ones from yesterday were kind of crusty from the slush and mud, making me scrunch my nose in distaste. How does one do laundry here?

Or go to the bathroom, for that matter. I wanted to groan at the thought of not having running water. The people here were so unsanitary. I'd have to borrow a bucket and melt some snow to bathe later. Perhaps I should always keep some in the shack here, with me. I think I'll spare the details of going to the bathroom in this world. I'll only say that I got a few odd looks when I asked how one used the privy and where. I was completely new to this world, so sue me!

After I'd done my normal daily routine, which had required me to leave my shack to look for an outhouse (I discovered some soldiers, or guards, eying me to make sure I wasn't up to anything). I made my way across Haven to look for Lavellan. I needed to have a little chat with her.

The town was actually a lot bigger than it had been portrayed in the game, I realized. Many more small houses here and there, small tents put up for refugees were outside of the walls. Or for the soldiers, I wasn't completely sure. My shack was not too far from where Lavellan's was, which gave me the impression even she wanted to keep an eye on me. I still didn't blame them, though. If the way I'd acted yesterday didn't make me suspicious, what I was about to talk to her about definitely would.

I walked down the dirt path, my boots making crunching noises on the rocks. People were walking around minding their own business. Occasionally, though, someone would examine me. This was probably due to my clothes and glasses. I don't recall ever seeing anyone wearing glasses in this universe. I silently wondered if they had potions for your eyes.

Making my way up the first set of stairs, I saw a row of large tents with a few people talking by the fire. Varric, upon closer inspection, was just sitting there looking into the flames. I cautiously walked up and waved my hand at him.

"Hey... uhh..." We hadn't properly introduced each other, so I was unsure if he'd be freaked out if I knew his name. It was mentioned a few times, yesterday, but... Social rules. I hated them. It used to be much worse, since I went on with my life without being bound by social boundaries. Many still didn't phase me, really. I soon learned, however, that in order to blend in I needed to abide by these unspoken rules.

"Oh, hey there girlie. Need something?" He looked up at me as he spoke, his hands interlocked as if to keep warm. I nodded.

"Do you know where … Lynn is? I have something I need to address her about."

He raised a brow at my use of her first name but pointed to the right side of Haven somewhere, just down the road passed the tavern actually. "She went to have a chat with Chuckles. Quite a story you've concocted, wouldn't have thought of that one. Another world, huh?"

Darn. Gossip travels fast in the inner circle.

"I don't expect you to believe me." My voice had gone flat, "But unfortunately I am telling the truth."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He sounded doubtful but kept that ever present grin on his face. I shook my head and walked away, not even bothering with saying goodbye. I'd always thought he was a pretty cool guy, so I didn't hold it against him. I would probably think the same thing, had I been in his position.

Another set of stairs on the other side of the tavern came into view, atop it stood Solas and Lynn who looked deep in conversation. Their heads turned out toward the lake which resided outside of the gate. The rays from the sun glinted off of her rust colored locks, highlighting the red in her hair. Mine was of a similar color, so I wondered if mine looked like that in the sun too. It was pretty, I admired. Hers was shiny, though. Unlike my hair which seemed dull and was usually a mess.

As I came closer to the duo, I was made aware of what they were talking about. I'd heard something Solas said about falling through the fade like she had, but their conversation came to an abrupt halt when he caught sight of me.

Unlike the dismissive glances I'd been getting yesterday from the bald elf, he was now looking at me like I was an intriguing specimen. Perhaps he believed me? Or at least thought it possible. He was rather intelligent, I knew, and specialized in the Fade. Which was my theory that I'd somehow been ripped through and thrown into this world. Either by mistake or …

My thoughts were interrupted by someone clearing their throat, to get my attention. I blinked out of my daze and looked back at them.

"Oh, sorry. I was just... deep in thought."

"I could tell." Lynn smiled kindly at me, "Was there something you needed?"

"Yes." I coughed, "Well. I had hit my head yesterday quite hard, if you couldn't tell." I then motioned to my wound, which was now free of bandages. The swelling was down, but there was still a lot of discoloration and some dull pain. I assumed the potion got rid of my concussion, which mustn't have been that serious if they let me go to sleep.

"I've remembered some things that I need to speak to you about." I elaborated, nodding slowly with my eyes closed. I tapped my cheek with my pointer finger and opened my eyes to see their curious glances, "It's rather important. Perhaps we should find somewhere private..."

I had been led into Solas' house, which was fancier than mine. Well, not fancy, but he had a fireplace that douchebag. It seemed to tease me, as the heat from the stoked fire warmed my whole body as I stood in there. Lynn had just come back with two other people; Cassandra and, surprisingly, Cullen. Now I was just assuming he was the only advisor that was free at this second so I brushed it off. I was, as per usual, standing by the door next to Lynn. Solas, Cassandra and Cullen stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. It looked much smaller now that there were actually people in here.

"I offer my thanks for the stuff you gave me for my wounds." I nodded to Solas, feeling the need to get that out of the way. The only response I'd gotten was the slight inclination of his head and the others continued to stare at me expectantly.

I let out a breath, trying to think of a way to even start saying what was needed to be said.

"Was there a reason we were brought here, or.." Cassandra spoke, her arms crossed as she looked at me with her cold eyes. She had been my favorite companion, still is, because of her strong personality and blunt way of speaking.

"Yes. How to begin..." My mind was stumbling all over itself and I couldn't come up with a coherent explanation. Cassandra and Cullen, who I just remembered I kept calling Mr Fluffy when I hadn't known who he was. I let out a little chuckle. They likely had something better to do, no doubt, and looked like they were getting impatient.

"This was a waste of time." I heard Cassandra grumble as she took a step toward me, probably to get by and go out the door.

"The Elder One! I know who he is." I blurted, causing everyone in the room to tense up. Probably not the best way to start. Damn. "H-his name is actually... Corypheus. And before you yell about me being a spy, let me at least try to explain."

Cassandra looked angry, her face scrunched up as she looked at me unpleasantly. Cullen had his hand rested on the hilt of his sword, but I always saw him standing like that. He didn't look too relaxed, though. Lynn was now looking at me with some form of suspicion in her eyes and I sighed.

"You must realize how this sounds to us." Lynn's accented voice spoke cautiously.

"Of course. Where I come from, there are these … Legends. The one I started with … it spoke of the Blight and took place through the eyes of the Warden that helped end it."

"The Hero of Ferelden?" I heard Cullen mutter, "You know of him?"

"So it's a him..." I counter, I hadn't known the gender or race of the Hero. But now I knew that much, at the very least. "These stories. These Legends tell what could have happened. What did. All the different possible outcomes of these stories are widely known in my world." I nod to myself.

"You expect us to believe this?" Cassandra began, "For all we know, you've sat in that shack of yours and carefully plotted everything you're telling us right now."

"Your suspicions are well founded, and I respect that. However, as unfortunate as this is, I am telling the truth. Which brings me to my next predicament." I sighed, crossing my arms across my chest. It was no longer as warm and inviting as I thought it was when I first entered. Now it was cold and it felt like the walls were closing in on me. "The next part followed the Champion of Kirkwall. Then the last one I know of tells the story of … The Inquisition."

I looked pointedly at Lynn and the rest of the inhabitants of the room, "Through the eyes of the Herald of Andraste."

The red-headed elf was now looking at me with intrigue, though the suspicion still lay beneath her eyes. I could tell, from every one of them in this room. The way things were going, I was going to get locked up soon. I shivered at the thought of sitting in a cold dank cell for God knows how long.

"Alright, enough games!" Cassandra shouted, taking an intimidating step forward. Only to be held back by the frail hand of Lynn, who gave her a look. I stepped back, ready to bolt at a moments notice. I wouldn't leave the town, no. I had to see this through. That didn't mean I would willingly put myself in harms way, however. I knew from experience that Cassandra could lift my ass up and toss me around like I weighed no more than a feather. With the glares she was sending me, I wouldn't put it passed her to fold me in half at this point. Not fun.

As I stepped back, I felt myself bump into someone lightly making me jump and look around at my sides. I could have sworn I felt my shoulder brush on something. I saw no one, but soon realized who it probably was and let out a sigh of relief. Thought I was going crazy there for a second.

I stood a little straighter and looked out at the group, "After the breach is closed, please don't let your guard down. Corypheus will attack Haven when you least expect it. Well... now you  _ _should__  expect it. Because if you don't, many people will die."

* * *

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the cold dark cells underneath the Chantry of Haven. I stared with a dull expression adorn my face toward Cassandra as she walked out. Lynn was still standing there looking at me, almost torn on what to do.

They thought I was a spy of some sort, and that I was just here to rile everyone up. Scare tactics, really. Every one of them had brushed me off. Well, besides Lynn who now stood there looking at me probably expecting me to plead my case. I just shook my head.

"I saw this coming." I commented dryly, "Do you honestly think that I would willingly come here and make up such extravagant lies just to get thrown into a cell. Possibly killed?"

"We don't know that..." Her voice was soft. She hadn't raised her voice at me once since I'd told them and she didn't once glare or try to call me a liar. Sure, the suspicion was there. Lynn was just polite enough not to call me out on it. Cassandra did enough of that for her. Not that I blamed the seeker for it, I actually held some form of respect for her.

The floor, I could have sworn looked like it had mold in the corner. The bars to the glorified cage I was set in were ice cold as I wrapped my small hands around them. I was glad I'd changed into my warmer clothing this morning as I scuffed my boot on the brick floor.

"Of course not, but please take my words into consideration. I just..." My voice trailed off as my eyes slowly rested on my feet. "When do you plan to close the breach, anyway?"

"Tomorrow." Her eyes showed how unsure she was. Lynn's bright gray eyes were so large and expressive, even though the rest of her face may have been set in a soft frown or something of the sort. Her eyes always gave her away, even in the darkness of the Chantry cells.

"Heh. I tried." I blinked my dark brown eyes and turned around, walking to the bedroll in the far corner of the cell. I took a seat, cross legged, and looked up at her. She looked as if she were about to leave before I spoke, "There is a secret passageway. Chancellor Roderick knows of it. He's the only one that knows, as a matter of fact. He may be an annoying assbutt, but he comes through in the end."

I closed my eyes and lowered my head. She seemed to stand there for awhile before I heard the door close. I hadn't even heard her footsteps. That's a rogue, for ya.

Which made me think of another rogue, making me open my eyes to glare out at the open air. There was only two torches lit down here, making me have to squint my eyes to look around.

"You know, I thought you said you were going to help me." I drawled, taking a wild guess that he was out there. Somewhere.

"How did you know I was here?" A voice asked, from the other side of the cell. Cole sounded confused as he appeared, likely letting me see him. He looked to be contemplating something else as well.

"Lucky guess?" I shrugged slowly, my gaze cast to the floor.

"You also … remembered me."

"Did you try to make me forget?"

"No."

"Then I probably won't forget you, so don't worry about it." I tried to crack a smile, but my lips only twitched.

"It hurt you. Them not believing you. Even though you knew it would happen, it still hurts." I nod, knowing there was no way I could deny it, "It's not your fault, though. You were just trying to do the right thing."

"It's my job. Or, would have been if I wasn't thrown in this God's forsaken place." I mumbled, referring to my college major. I had wanted to work for my community where I grew up, so I had started taking Law Enforcement classes with the idea I'd try to apply for work at the police station. I never got to do that, though.

"They hurt you. Caused you pain. You were still small, but you didn't hate them for it. Instead, you wanted to help. That makes you a good person." He stated as if a fact. I looked up and stared at him for awhile before looking away. He was referring to my childhood, no doubt. Bullies, gotta love them.

I sat there, staring at the young man with a frown on my face. Gods, he looked so sad. Slumped over like that in the corner of the cell, the dark circles underneath his eyes seeming more prominent in the dim lighting. Was that how I looked, too? Or maybe it was just Cole. He always looked like he had the world resting on his shoulders. His eyes always had this haunted look in them, reminding me just how much he'd gone through. Yet here he is, trying to help.

It must be so lonely...

"If someone doesn't do it... no one else will." I replied, referring to my hard career choice. I shrugged my shoulders and leaned back against the wall, feeling the dampness even through my layers. I don't know how long I sat on that bedroll, in silence, or even how long he'd stayed there with me. But he'd left at some point. At least I think he did. For all I knew, he was standing there watching me. He might've went off to help someone, though. Which was the most likely prospect.

I started to lose track of time after the first few hours sitting down in the cell. To occupy my time, I made sure to do stretches every now and again to keep myself from getting stiff. With no windows to tell me the time of day, I started to assume it was getting close to night. I couldn't even hear any people shuffling around, since I was put so far beneath the Chantry. It was a brilliant set up, really.

Eventually I heard the door open, causing me to jump. I saw a hooded form walk in, but didn't hear their footsteps. Another rogue, then. Chainmail seemed to glitter ominously from the torchlight as the figure looked over at me. It was Leliana.

They assumed I was a spy. So it only made sense I was fair-game to the spymaster. I gulped nervously, she was here to question me no doubt.

"So you know why I am here." She stated, walking up to the cell. I just stared over at her from my stance in the cell. I'd been in the middle of stretching when the door had opened, so I was standing somewhere in the middle.

"It only makes sense that the  _ _suspected__  spy get questioned by the spymaster, you know?" I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. She rose her eyebrow, clearly not believing my act at all. She then pulled out a dagger and started to fiddle around with it in her hands. I could see a glint in Leliana's eyes as she looked up at me. I started to hyperventilate.

I knew this woman was no joke. She was even scarier than Cassandra. The quiet ones always were.

"Y-you would stab an unarmed civilian. I guess I was wrong about the Inquisition." I stuttered out, taking a step away from the door of the cell. She casually grabbed a key out of her pocket and went to the door to open it. "Fuck." I squeaked out. "Fuck fuck. No. God no."

"Cut the act. I'm not buying it." She hissed as I heard the door click open. I was going to die. I knew it. She was going to come in here and try to stab the answers out of my cold lifeless body.

"I was telling the truth!" I yelled back, pushing my back up against the stone wall behind me. My hands feeling around for something. Anything. I knew if I fought back, it would be fruitless anyway. She was skilled in what she did, I had no training whatsoever. I didn't even have self defense training, yet! I'd just fumble around like a fool and get myself killed faster. The door swung open slowly, the creaking and groaning of the metal grating on my ears was driving me crazy.

It was like a scene from an old horror movie. Slow footsteps could be heard on the wet floor, (Oh I knew she was just doing that, now. What a bitch) the torchlight casting shadows across her hooded face. The knife could be seen in her right hand, which was lazily held at her hip as she stared down at me. When had I gotten on the floor?

I was looking up at her with wide fearful eyes, shaking like the coward I was.

"I d-don't... I don't want–" I couldn't seem to get anything out of my mouth as I curled up into a ball to make myself seem smaller. Just when I thought my little heart was about to beat itself out of my chest, my savior appeared. A girl always dreams of a knight in shining armor coming to save them, but mine was a rogue in scraggly leathers. How wonderful.

He stood there, back turned to me, as he stared fearlessly at Leliana. She seemed mildly shocked that he'd even appeared. He had one of his daggers out, ready to strike if need be.

"Lynn said not to hurt her. Why are you going to hurt her?" I could hear him say as I focused on Leliana's expression. Had she said that? I was grateful that the Herald had gone out of her way to make sure I wouldn't get hurt. But from what I think I remembered, Leliana believed that these actions were the right thing to do. Didn't mean I approved.

"What's going on in here?" I heard a voice say from the other side of the door, as fast paced footsteps made their way toward us and through the door. The door had been cracked, so it was simply pushed open, revealing Lynn. She was breathing heavily as she looked to the open cell that contained the three of us. "Leliana..."

"She could have information, locations as to where our enemies are. You would let that slip by?" Leliana asked, looking over at Lynn disdainfully. The red-headed elf simply stared back, shaking her head in disapproval.

"I may not fully believe her story, but I do not think she is a spy." She conceded, walking up to the cell and holding her hand out. "Come on, Leliana. Let's go speak of this upstairs."

They traded a few words before they walked away, shutting my cell door. I still sat with my knees to my chest. At some point or another I'd put my head on my knees, hiding my expression from the world. I tried not to feel bad for the fact that I wouldn't even have had a fighting chance against Leliana, so that was why I didn't try. I didn't even stand up for myself. I still felt so disappointed in myself, though. I clenched my hands, digging my nails into the skin of my arms as they were folded on top of eachother.

The Herald had been informed of Leliana's plans and I'd been saved last minute from a grisly death, no doubt. There was only one person that could have been responsible for that.

"Thank you..." I mumbled, still not moving my face from my knees. I didn't hear a response. Didn't need one.

When I finally looked up, I noticed I was by myself down here in this cell. I let out a sigh as I crawled a small distance over to a nearby bedroll and tried to get some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be  _ _wonderful__.

* * *

That night I dreamt of home. Back when I was younger, before much really happened and my grandmother was still alive. I was only 5, then. Before she passed away and everything went to crap. But in my dream she was still alive and we were all grown up. My mother hadn't spiraled into a depression and she didn't do or say nasty things to us. We didn't get thrown into the foster care system. Everything was fine and our family wasn't as broken as I remembered. I felt a pang of longing as I watched my family sit around a dinner table and eat. Something so simple, never really happened where I came from. We hardly ever talked, to be honest. I smiled a genuine smile at the scene.

When I woke up, I was alone.

 


	4. Determination

The next day I awoke and simply sat there, not feeling up to even performing something as simple as doing my stretches. I couldn't really remember what I'd dreamt about last night, but when I woke up I was left feeling oddly … empty. This wasn't all that new to me, either, so I simply brushed it off and distracted myself with thoughts of the coming day.

What was to happen would take place during the celebration at the end of the day, I was sure. I couldn't remember the precise details like most protagonists in fanfictions would know. Yes, I know, I still read fanfictions. However, I did remember some of the deaths that would happen if Lynn didn't hurry her ass up through the town when she got done with the trebuchets.

The deaths I was thinking of were the ones I could never save no matter how many times I'd reloaded. The thought made me wince as I stared off into the darkness.

That's another thing, everything was dark now. For all I knew it was the middle of the day, but the torches had long died out and I was stuck in the dark. I scarcely remembered the sounds of footsteps and a placing of a metal plate outside of my steel cage while I was sleeping. There was probably some bread and water out there, so I crawled over and felt around with my hands.

If I didn't get something in my body soon I would likely end up killing myself from low blood sugars. Well,  _ _kill__  was a harsh word. I'd likely just fall unconscious until I could get some sugars into my body. I sighed, which means I'd die. Eventually. So yes, it would kill me. I'd only eaten a little bit the day before, which was worrying to me. I hadn't really eaten much at all since I'd arrived.

Once I was done eating the crunchy object that was on that plate, I assumed was stale bread from the bland taste, I stood up and stretched. I sat there for ages, it seemed and stared off into the dark. My mind was going in circles as I heard my own breathing. That's all I heard, besides the dripping of water across the room somewhere. I settled with just standing there with my eyes closed, my hands on the bars to my cell. The chill that they gave off seemed to ground me, remind me that I was real. I was here.

I finally heard footsteps at the end of the hall on the other side of the metal door across the room. I simply stood there and opened my eyes. The small amount of light coming from the little window in the metal door to the prison was the only thing I could even see down in this fucking place. It was starting to grate on my nerves. Instead of getting scared or starting to go crazy, I simply started to get angry. It was much easier to deal with anger than sadness or despair. It was kind of a coping mechanism I'd come up with over the years. Anger now, sad later.

The door creaked open, letting some of the flickering candle light from outside pour in. The person lit the torch nearest to the door and grabbed it, lighting another then setting it back in it's place. I stared at them as they walked in and noticed it wasn't someone I knew. They were in plain robes and female. The woman had short dark cropped hair and sharp pointy ears. She walked up to my cell timidly and set the tray next to the bars, grabbing the other one afterward. I simply watched her, hands clutched onto the metal bars. My face, I assumed, was blank. I was taller than the little elf and just sat there and stared.

This only served to make the meek elf scared, as she stood up with the empty tray and scuttled off quickly. So she was a servant of some sort? I sighed and looked down at the plate, seeing it was some type of slop or stew. At least it had a little more sustenance than my last meal.

****Third Person** **

__(Just seconds ago)_ _

She had been asked to take the prisoner something to eat, since they were celebrating the closing of the breach. Spirits were high as everyone danced and listened to merry songs.

The torchlight barely did anything to illuminate the large room. On the left corner there was a huge torture device, causing the small elf to shiver in fear. She peered around, looking for the prisoner the Herald had sent her to feed. Why they would care to feed the prisoner was beyond her, she simply followed orders. Even with her naturally good night vision she had a hard time finding the woman that was currently standing right against the cell's bars.

Slowly approaching the woman, the small elf tried to swallow down the fear she was feeling as she put the tray down on the floor. As she went to grab the empty tray, she dared peek up at the woman. Lyn was staring down at her with her black soulless eyes. Rust colored hair draped in front of her face, covering her features and making her eyes look sunken in.

The way Lyn looked down at her gave off the impression that she was staring right through the elf. Before she knew it, the crazy woman opened her chapped lips and spoke. Her voice was low and dull sounding, reminding her of a ghost.

"Little elf..." She drawled, one of her hands letting go of the cell bar. Face going pale, the elf fumbled around on the floor and grabbed the tray as quickly as possible. She took off out the door as fast as her little feet could take her.

****First Person** **

I sighed, staring at the door that had shut. Was I really that terrifying? I had only been  _ _staring__  at the poor elf. Well, that and I'd been about to thank her for the food but never got the chance to. She'd scurried out the door before I could even get it out. I bent down and grabbed the items atop the tray and started to choke it down. It was definitely as good as it looked, but like I said before, it was better than nothing.

 _ _'I'm going to go__ crazy _ _down here.'__  I thought to myself morosely as I set what was left of the items back down on the tray. A light clinking noise could be heard as I sat the wooden bowl that held the slop. It was empty, in the very least. I was interrupted from my musings by the sound of someone setting something next to me in my cell and sliding it toward my feet.

I was crouched as I looked down at my feet and saw a wooden box sitting innocently on the damp stone floor. It was almost begging to be opened. I let my fingertips gently brush against the top of the smooth dark wood.

"It is time. Dusk is here and they are celebrating. I said I would help." I looked ahead, seeing Cole crouched at eye level with me on the other side of the bars to my cell. He was looking straight at me, his hat not hiding his face at all at the moment. His shaggy blonde hair, however, still hid his eyes. I stared back at him, face equally as blank. "So much fire. Explosions and death.  _ _'I can't do this.'__  No. You  _ _can__  do it." He voiced and just like that he was gone before I could even form a coherent answer.

My eyes slid down to the box that he'd slid to me and I let out a sigh. It's worth a try, in the very least.

"Here goes nothing..." I mumbled as I opened the box. The smooth wooden box revealed a couple of smaller cardboard boxes and my gun. It was still taken apart, like Leliana couldn't figure out how to put the magazine back in.

I picked up the heavy chunk of metal, turning it around in my hand. I couldn't even remember what kind of gun it was, only that it was a .45. I then grabbed the missing piece and started to check everything. Sounds of metal sliding on metal, followed by clicks here and there sounded throughout the empty prison. Faint echoes could be heard as I nodded in appreciation at the deadly weapon in my hand.

I'd never used it besides for target practice back home. I wasn't a good shot, by any means, but if someone got too close I'd just pull it out as a very last resort. I didn't want to gain a reputation. The boxes were, obviously, ammo. The unopened one had 50 in it, if I remembered correctly. One of them was half empty, I noted as I set the open box in my right cargo pouch that rested on my thigh. The joys of cargo pants was that there are loads of pockets to store stuff.

I made sure the safety was activated and did something that's considered a big no-no. I set it in my sweater pocket. Don't do this at home kiddies.

The last item in the box glinted in the torchlight, causing me to smirk. It was the key to my cell. Or, I'd assumed it was, otherwise I'm fucked aren't I?

I grabbed the key with newfound determination, slipping my arms through the cell's bars and began to unlock it.

 _ _'You__ can _ _do it.'__  Cole's voice rang in my head as I walked out of my cell confidently. Anytime now, all hell would break loose. I just needed a weapon. I could do this.

I made my way toward the staircase at the end of the hallway and made my way up. I could already feel it start to get warmer as I advanced up the stairs. The warm candlelight cast shadows against the old stone brick as I finally approached the door. Carefully, I opened the heavy wooden door and peeked through.

It was a room and the door to the main hall to the Chantry was closed. I sighed in relief, that's one small mercy. Walking into the room fully, I could see some weapons lined the wall on one side. Spotting a bow, I walked up to it and grabbed it. I wasn't a good shot with a gun, but I'd been using a recurve bow since early high school. This was familiar. I knew I was at least a decent shot with one. I then grabbed a quiver of arrows and strapped it onto my back.

I started to rummage around for anything else. I wished I could have found a hood or something, maybe a cloak. The only things I was finding was spare armor pieces and broken weapons. No such luck. Damn.

As I exited the room and walked into the main hall, I saw no one. Everyone was outside, likely celebrating, as I heard laughing and music. Exiting the Chantry, I strode at a brisk pace toward my destination.

I had made it halfway to my shack before I heard some footsteps behind, fast paced like they were trying to keep up with me. Paying them no mind, I pretended not to notice.

"Hey, Screech. Are you even allowed to be out of your cell?" I heard Varric's voice and I gave him a sideways glance. Almost there.

"No – Wait.  _ _Screech__?" I blinked and looked back at him, baffled. He only offered a shrug in response. "I didn't expect you guys to believe me, but I'm not going to allow myself to get killed down there."  _ _'I'm not allowing anyone to die because of me.'__  I corrected myself in my head.

I looked around and didn't even notice any of the soldiers keeping an eye out. They were celebrating as well, holding mugs of ale and laughing with their fellow men. Idle conversation droned in the background, followed by laughter as they spoke of their victory. Had they disregarded my warning?

"Look, Screechie. I don't know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours but..." I snorted in the most unladylike fashion. "If the Seeker finds you? You're as good as toast."

"You aren't going to run your little stubby legs off to tattle on me?" I asked with a grin, entering the shack and walking up to my pack to grab it. I stuffed my dirty clothes in there, along with the boxes that were in my pocket and zipped it up. Didn't need to lose any of this stuff in the process.

"My stubby little legs are fine right where they are, thank you very much." He sighed, "Legs'll get stubbier if she finds out I didn't do anything about it." I tensed.

"What're you going to do?" I asked, looking over at him with a guarded look in my dark eyes.

"Nothing." His voice cracked a little as he gave off a chuckle, he shrugged and continued. "Something tells me if I tried you'd just trample my ass."

"You could always just shoot me with Bianca." I pointed out evenly, seeing him raise a brow in response.

"Ah, I wouldn't want to put poor Bianca through that. Killing innocent kids? Not our style."

"Oh? So convinced of my innocence. It warms my heart, right here." I put my hand on my chest, my face still blank as ever. Though you could hear the sarcasm dripping from my voice.

"Yes, well... the Kid made a compelling argument." Varric nodded, eyes closed in thought.

"Cole?" I asked, surprised he'd even tried to talk to them about anything.

"Mostly chopped up sentences and riddles, but he got his point across. He's a good kid, that one." So he did actually try to help, in the end. I had a feeling it was much more than that. The thought of anyone else knowing what was going on in my head was kind of unnerving. Well, anyone other than Cole. Cole was just... Cole. He couldn't help it, but the last thing I needed was Varric writing a damn book about my personal problems.

"I see..." I made a note that if I survived this, I was going to have a little talk with the spirit. I huffed and secured my bag on my back. "Better get ready, because ugly ass Corypheus is coming."

His face fell at the name.

"Wait. Did you just say-" He was cut off by the commotion going on outside. One minute everyone was laughing, talking and music was playing. The next it got deathly silent and everyone started to yell as the bell started to sound.  _ _'That's the alarm.'__

Fiddling with a few more things on my person, I made sure everything was in place before I exited. I was out just in time to see Lynn and a group of her companions on the outside of the gates to Haven. Cullen had just finished his motivating speech, as I stared at the back of his glorified fluff-cape. It wasn't long until they were off to fight.

"Looks like you should catch up with your friends." I waved as he looked up at me with a perplexed expression on his face.

I jogged over to the gate, passing Josephine on the way by as she let out a small gasp (or squeak, I couldn't tell). Cullen was about to start running into battle.

"Cullen!" I called as I got closer, making him snap his attention in my direction. His eyes focused on me as I stopped in front of him.

"Hey, aren't you supposed-"

"We need to try to get everyone in the Chantry, there is a dragon coming!" I yelled, trying to make myself sound more confident. He opened his mouth to reply but I kept rambling, "I doubt anyone will listen to the crazy broad dressed like a fool, but they'll listen to you! Or... or one of your soldiers! Something!"

"Look, you're not even supposed to be out of your cell. You're lucky I don't have you hauled back there, but I need my men  _ _out here.__ " He stated with authority. I clenched my teeth, sending him the best glare I could. I felt the irritation rising in my chest, begging to come out. My hand was twitching with the urge to smack the poor guy. I knew I'd later regret it, if I did.

I let out a frustrated growl. "I'll do it myself then! Don't bring your fluffy ass crying to me when people are burning alive because of  _ _you__!" I bit back out of spite, my anger getting the best of me. I thought I saw his eyes widen a fraction before I spun around and ran back into Haven.

"Fiesty one, aren't you?" I heard the smooth voice of Dorian as I entered the town. I looked over at him, seeing his wide eyes and smile, I tried to school my expression but I knew my eyebrows were scrunched up in anger. Not saying anything, I simply walked passed him and headed up toward the tavern. I was done asking for help.

" _ _Do__  you need help?" The Tevinter asked, barely keeping up with me in his exhausted state. I silently wondered if he could read minds, too.

" _ _Yes__. No one will listen to me, but these people." I motioned toward all of the civilians running around trying to grab their stuff from their houses, "They need to get into the Chantry. Now."

He nodded and ran in the other direction without question. The seriousness of my expression must have made him jump into action. Whatever it was, I was glad that he went out to help without so much as a question. I kept going and finally entered the tavern.

"We're evacuating. To the Chantry. Immediately." I called not really getting much response besides a nod and her running out toward the destination.

When I'd gotten to the apothecary's hut, the old man with a rather large beard and mustache was rummaging around trying to find things to bring along with him. A young elf woman not too far away outside. I repeated what I'd said to the woman in the tavern, but got no indication he'd even heard me.

"Did you hear me! We need to leave!" I snapped loudly, trying to get my voice to travel over the sounds of people yelling around outside.

"I'm old, not deaf." He bit back, grabbing a bag he'd filled. A deafening roar could be heard in the distance and I bit back a screech rising in my throat. I saw him visibly pale at the sound.

"NOW!" I yelled, grabbing his arm and dragging his ass out the door. As we were making our way to the Chantry, the rumbling that the dragon's wings were creating overhead made the ground shake and tremor. I could feel the hot air from the fires it had created, making my eyes water and my face break out into a sweat.

Everything around me was set aflame, the raging roar of the fires drowned out by the screams of innocent civilians as they ran to safety. The destruction that was being caused suddenly hit me like a truck. I could really  _die_  out here.

People shoved around the old man and I, as they rushed to get themselves and their families to safety. I stumbled, letting go of the man and pushing him forward with one of my hands. I needed to get back and make sure no one else was stuck. I turned around then and darted off back toward the area I'd come from, trusting that he'd get there safely. My legs were burning from the amount of straight running I was doing, but the adrenaline helped me along. My boots thudded on the dirty snow and I came to an abrupt stop, snow and dirt crackling and scraping as I took in the scene before me.

Good thing I did go back, because the elf woman in the blue robes had tripped and got trapped during all of the commotion somehow. Buildings were on fire around us as I rushed as fast as my body could allow me to. I ran up to her and heaved the piece of wood off of her and helped her up. We were standing next to a bunch of pots as I started to push her away in front of me, my body at an angle.

Something seemed off. I was  _ _forgetting__  something. Why –

I was maybe 10 feet away when the fire from the dragon's breath finally inched it's way toward the pots I'd seen. I heard a cracking noise like jars breaking before my hearing gave out and my body was thrown onto the dirt path. An explosion, I realized. I was able to faintly see the elf ahead of me as she inched farther and farther away. My leg felt like it was on fire.

Correction. My leg  _ _was__  on fire.

I screeched and rolled around on the dirt, successfully putting it out. But not without damage, of course. My cargo pant leg was completely singed up to the back of my kneecap. My right leg could be seen peeking through and was an angry red color with black on the edges along with parts of my right forearm just under the elbow. Forcing myself back onto my feet and straightening my glasses with a wince, I began to stagger away while pulling out the bow I'd taken earlier.

I walked up to the entrance of the Chantry just in time to see Chancellor Roderick get attacked by a Venatori gladiator. He looked like he was trying to fight them off for some reason, actually. That idiot! I see now how he got himself killed. I quickly dismissed that thought as I saw a citizen scramble up from behind him and take off into the Chantry.

Notching an arrow and aiming right as I saw Roderick get dealt a rather painful blow, knocking him to the ground. As Roderick fell, I shot. The arrow hit home, in the torso just below the ribcage. Which sucked for him, since it looked like he wasn't even wearing armor. Who runs into battle without a shirt or plate armor?!

That didn't seem to stop them, though as the gladiator turned his attention on me. He let out a war cry as he lifted his weapon. I pulled out another arrow and shot, the thing skittered off of his helmet and landing harmlessly into the snow. Any other time that would have been a killing shot. This guy was wearing a full helmet. No plate armor, but a  _ _helmet__?!

My eyes widened and I screeched, trying to pull out another arrow. This only resulted in getting shield bashed onto the ground. The metal connected with my jaw making my vision blur. I hit the ground and rolled a few times, ending up on my back. My glasses had fallen off at some point, making me panic. I was able to look up just in time to see the man raise his sword.

He was about to deliver a killing blow to me when he was suddenly engulfed in flames. He screamed. I screamed. Though, instead of standing there like a fool and melting (it was gross, by the way) I sat up, seeing my glasses at my feet and grabbed them. I then scrambled up and jogged in the direction of the person that had saved my life.

"Dorian!" I cried in relief, ignoring the odd look I got from the fact that I'd known his name without him telling me. I motioned toward the Chancellor, "N-need to get him into the Chantry, p-please. I'll try to help them out here."

Not waiting for an answer I ran passed him and stood at the top of the stairs, firing as many arrows I could at the enemies. There were so many of them. There were a lot of times where my arrows would completely miss (Funny thing, a few missed and hit a different enemy instead. Winning.) but mostly they hit the mark.

In the very least, they slowed them down so that they could get cut down by the soldiers quicker. I didn't get many shots to the head, being as rusty as I was. Soon enough, I spotted the Herald and her group ascending the stairs. I backed away toward the building, hearing the Chancellor waving more people in while telling them to get to safety. Roderick was still standing, though barely, trying to help people inside.

Damn, that guy was like a cockroach. No matter how many times you try to squish him he always seemed to come back.

I could have sworn I saw Cassandra's eyes widen at the sight of me, likely because I was out of my cell. I waved and took off into the building, not daring to look behind lest I get chopped in half. I placed the bow on my back and watched the last of everyone barrel into the Chantry just in time for the massive doors to shut. Dorian came hobbling in with the Chancellor's arm over his shoulders, helping him walk.

"A brave man. He stood against a Venatori." I heard Dorian state as they hobbled by me. I was, once again, standing next to the door.

"I'd be dead if it weren't for that girl." Roderick looked over at me and coughed.

"You would have been fine." I stated matter-of-factly, "Don't sell yourself short."

Lavellan looked at me, astonished. I kept a carefully blank expression on my face as I walked forward toward the war room, seeing a few people in the party tense up at my presence. Still with the spy theory?

"Herald! Our position is -" Cullen paused, looking at me. I narrowed my eyes at him and walked passed without a word. As I got further away, he continued his report albeit with a few stutters at the beginning. Their voices got fainter the further I got back and I leaned against the wall and started to watch people huddle around in fear. Some people were sitting on the many barrels and boxes that sat around in the grand hall.

Oh, they weren't the only ones. I'd almost died out there. I had killed people. I sat still near the wall, trying to keep my body from shaking. I felt lightheaded and dizzy, an urge to vomit passed but I shoved it away. How can they just stand over there and converse after going through a battle like that? I knew I doubt I'd be able to come up with a response if anyone tried to talk to me, right now. I was silently watching them talk to Roderick when I saw Lynn's face go white. She looked over at me then looked up at Cullen and said something.

I turned my gaze in the other direction, seeing people sitting on the floor near the walls. Some kids were seen huddled in a corner, one woman standing in front of them with a kind smile on her face trying to comfort them. Occasionally I'd see the form of Cole appear and talk to someone before disappearing. He rarely popped up and I presumed it was because he liked to remain invisible. Dorian was over by the Chancellor, in case he needed help.

It didn't take long until I heard the loud voice of Cullen directing everyone to the back toward the passageway. Roderick had mentioned it, no doubt. I wondered dully if that's why Lynn's face had gone white when they were talking just minutes ago. Judging by the occasional bewildered look I'd get from a few of the people from the inner circle, I'd assume as much. I was otherwise ignored.

The passageway was dark and had cobwebs lining the upper and bottom corners as we made our way through. The musty smell from the crumbling tunnels reminded me of home. Odd, I know, but I lived in a basement before remember? Every now and again I would brush the walls with my fingers, trying to keep my mind off of the battle that had ensued earlier and how easily I could have gotten cut down.

If it weren't for Dorian, I would have been gutted and chopped up by that Venatori. I'd frozen in the middle of battle and it almost cost me my life. That's something I didn't want to be repeated.

* * *

Minutes turned into hours and we'd exited the tunnels long ago. Time seemed to slip by as I followed the mass of people with a dulled expression on my face. I crushed the feeling of fatigue my body was giving off and seemed to be on autopilot.

Perhaps if I'd worded it differently, there would have been an alternative outcome? Could I have saved some of Cullen's soldiers? I didn't even know if I'd helped at all with getting the civilians into the Chantry. No one except for Dorian had listened to me. The only person that helped me from the start had been Cole. But then again, that's just what he did. He helped people.

We'd made camp a few odd times on our way through the snow, the cold was starting to take it's toll on my body. The burns I'd acquired while trying to help were starting to stick to my clothes. Eventually I put on my second sweater. Which was the same, just dark gray, and putting my singed one back in the bag. A new pair of pants, as well. Though they were not cargo like my last pair, only regular jeans.

When they'd finally decided we were far enough away that Corypheus was not likely to come, we all set up camp for good that night to recuperate from our losses. All the while, I simply walked around and helped people with putting up their tents and unloading. Wherever I was needed, I was there. I didn't even need to talk to anyone, seeing as how everyone else was just as despondent as I was. I got a few grateful look for my help, but other than that. Nothing.

Not once did I think to walk over to the apothecary, who'd been the town's healer, because of the sheer number of injured already filling his tent. I didn't feel my burns were really that serious, so I just stuck with trying to ignore the stinging pain that came with my movement. After everyone was all settled in, I made my way away from everyone else with a spare bedroll I'd found and set it aside.

Most of the people were already in their tents and sleeping as the camp started to get quieter by the minute. I sat on my bedroll, staring at a nearby fire, and stewed in my own thoughts. Before I could get properly settled, however, I heard shouting in the distance. The other side of camp was coming back alive. I peeked up from my spot on the ground, seeing them hauling the limp body of the Herald. Lavellan looked pale and almost lifeless. Feeling my chest squeeze in worry, I stood up and made my way over quietly.

I really shouldn't even care about these people. They'd just tossed me aside and refused to believe anything I said.

I paused, shaking my head furiously.  _ _No__. It's not their fault, what's  _ _wrong__  with me? I'd have done the same in their position.

Sighing I made the rest of the way back, peeking quietly into the tent they had the Herald in. It was hard, considering there had been a moderate sized crowd forming before they were told to disburse. I stayed, obviously. Seeing the old man look her over. Mother Giselle was nearby as well. It looked like a few of the fingers on her left hand were almost black. Her shoes were taken off and her toes were in no better condition. But she was alive, nonetheless.

I took off back toward my bedroll on the other side of camp. I slowly eased myself down, grunting as I hit the ground. Sighing I looked up at the sky. I'd always liked the stars, anyway. It helped that there wasn't really much wind anymore, since the storm had already passed hours ago. The fire would keep me warm.

It took days before we finally saw Skyhold in the distance. Most of the stuff was packed on these odd looking animals that reminded me of rhinos. Lynn had scouted ahead a few times to make sure they were headed in the right direction, but we were finally almost there.

My body was starting to act weird on me that day. Leave it to me to start to fuck up around the time we were  _ _almost__  there. The world seemed to fall beneath me as I lost my balance and I stumbled a few times before collapsing face first in the snow. It felt like I couldn't even lift my limbs anymore and breathing was getting much more difficult. My vision started to get spotty, reminding me of what it looked like when my sugars got low. But that was impossible, I had made sure to eat some of the granola bars in my pack earlier that day.

It felt like the world tumbled around and my face was no longer in the cold snow. I was lifted off of the ground and could feel everything bouncing around, along with muffled voices. Shit, what were they saying? I started to finally regain consciousness again, as I focused my eyes. My head was dangling at a weird angle and I was being held. I knew that much, at least.

"The infection has set in … " The older man's voice to my left could be heard, and I could feel them messing around with my pant leg and slowly wriggling half of my body out of my zip up sweater. In my fever induced state, it felt like they were taking off my clothes, making me panic on the inside.

****Third Person** **

"Nngh...don...t." Lyn tried, moving her head to the side. Adan, the apothecary, had been called back because someone was burning up and had collapsed in the snow. Which was odd, you'd think more people would have ended up collapsing and dying on their way out of Haven and to Skyhold. There wasn't. They hadn't counted any civilian casualties as of yet. The soldiers were a different story, as his tent had been filled these passed few nights with them.

The elderly man had turned to see a rather short and sickly looking girl hanging in the arms of Cole, as he'd been called by the Herald. The girl's short auburn locks dangled just as lifelessly as her body. Her brown eyes were half lidded as he examined her. They were also dilated and couldn't seem to focus on anything.

"I need you to set her on the ground here so I can get her jacket off." He ordered, watching the boy comply as he gently set the girl on the ground. The Herald was nearby, along with Varric and Cassandra. They were all moving at a rather slow pace now that their destination was in sight, so he had some time to take a look at Lyn.

Once Adan got a good look at the girl's face, he paused as recognition crossed his features. "This... this is the noisy woman that dragged me out of my hut. It damn near exploded right after."

He noted gruffly as he started to pull the girl's sweater off. He remembered her to be of a lightly tanned complexion, not the pale sickly color she was now. That thought was not a good one. Once he'd figured out how to work the zipper, he was finally able to attempt to pull it off.

It wasn't that easy, however, because she started to thrash around as soon as he almost had her jacket off. Her dark brown eyes flew open, complete and utter terror written all over her features.

"Stop! Don't!" She yelled, flailing her arms to get him away.

"Why is she freaking out?" Cassandra asked from the side as she stared down at him trying to do his work.

"Hold her down!" Adan ordered and the Seeker complied, using her brute strength to hold the girl down. She was now breathing heavily as she stared up at the face of Cassandra, eyes unfocused. The Seeker squeezed her hands, pushing down on Lyn's shoulders. The sickly girl let out a keening noise, her head thrashed against the snow beneath her form.

"You're going to hurt her..." Cole mumbled, fingers twitching.

"She's got a high fever. She's probably just hallucinating. If I don't get the fever down, she could die."

"No..." He heard the boy say as he crouched down closer to his friend, or he assumed they were friends. "She's alone. Scared.  _ _'Papa, don't hurt me...'__ " He said, his voice cracking. Cole looked horrified as he said this, "How can I help her if she can't see me?"

"Perhaps it's best you keep those thoughts to yourself, Cole..." Adan heard the Herald murmur from his side. He saw the girl's arm, now. The infection had already spread, yellowed splotches dabbling the wounds, her arm and leg both in bad condition. Any longer and he'd have had to cut the infection out to avoid amputation.

The apothecary pulled an emergency poultice out of his pack after he'd gotten the wound cleaned off and poured it over each of her burns. They never did this unless absolutely necessary. The yellow discoloration and puss started to slowly fade. All the while the girl was whimpering, as if in pain.

And it  _ _was__  painful, Adan knew. Healing an infection always was. Especially with the poultice he'd used. After he was done, the only thing that was left was a slightly inflamed burn mark, probably what it'd looked like when she first attained it. Much less aggravated than it had looked when she had gotten to him just minutes ago. It would still need a lot of work, however.

"That should do until we get to Skyhold. Then I can finish with washing and bandaging. Why didn't this damn girl come to me when she first got these?" He grumbled angrily, looking up at the only three people standing around him.

The Herald was horrified at how the burns had gotten infected without proper care. Cassandra was still holding Lyn down with both of her hands, her expression passive as she examined the girl. Varric had turned away at some point, but still stood nearby.

"She thought the others needed it more." Cole murmured as he helped get her into a stretcher. Lyn was out before they'd even lifted her out of the snow.


	5. Getting Settled

When I awoke, it was to the quiet murmurs of people outside of the tent I was in. I lay on a cot, that was slightly raised off of the ground. A bedroll could be seen not too far away as I turned my head to see. My hair moved and I felt so grimy. How long have I been here? The need to clean myself was quite prominent.

"Ugh..." I let out, feeling my throat constrict. It was like my mouth was a frigging desert. I glared at the ceiling of the tent, wishing I had water. My body felt itchy, as I lifted my head to look at myself. I stared groggily at the shirt I was in. From the way my ass felt I must have been wearing a different pair of pants as well. Shorts to be exact. The material was itchy and felt weird compared to what I was used to.

My fingers twitched as I looked to my left again. Near my head, on the floor between my cot and the bedroll, sat a pile of clothes. I assumed they were mine, since I hadn't ever seen anyone here wear jeans before. Usually it was cloth or leather of some sort.

I sat there for about 10 minutes, waiting to see if someone would come into the tent but no one came. I squinted my eyes and tried to sit up, but found it rather difficult. Maybe if I thought about water enough it would appear.

 _ _'Water. Water. Water... water water water.'__ I repeated in my head like a mantra, staring at the tent flap. I was now in a seated position, but I didn't want to try and stand up, like a fool. I knew my arm and leg was damaged and trying to stand would result in failure. Which meant falling. Which also meant an angry old man, if I remember how grumpy the healer had been.

Speak of the devil and he shall come. The grumpy old man came walking into my tent with a bitter look on his face, grumbling. He was holding a metal cup, which I hoped was full of –

"Let me take a look at you." He simply said, handing me a the cup. It was filled with clear liquid, making me almost cry in joy. I could have sworn I downed that thing all in one drink. "Thirsty?"

"Yes." I replied simply, voice sounding better now, as he undressed my wounds and redressed them with new bandages after he'd applied more burn cream.

"Don't do this again, otherwise I'll end up having to cut off your legs." He looked up at me with a glare. I was unaware if he was trying to threaten me into being more careful or if it was because the infection had actually gotten that bad. I nodded sagely, taking both into consideration.

"I did not want to trouble -"

"I don't care if you didn't want to trouble me, girl. It's my job, and you'll damn well come to me when you need it!" He rose his voice, making me jump.

"Y-yes sir!" I responded instantly.

"You've been out for a few days, now. The fever damn near killed you." He groused about being knocked awake numerous times during the night and had to come check on me. "And every time? You were in a cold sweat. Shaking and almost dying. Do you realize how much trouble you've put me through? Makers balls, the kids these days..."

My eyes were downcast. Now I felt bad and real stupid for not even going to get my wounds checked out after the battle. Instead of taking the workload off of him, I ended up giving him more. Take one step forward, two steps back. I sighed.

"Thanks for the water." I muttered as I stared at the empty cup, "But how'd you know I was awake enough to drink it?"

I knew he probably made me drink these past few days while I was out, but he'd come in and his expression practically screamed that he knew I was awake. Which was odd to me, I hadn't even been making any noise.

He paused his work of wrapping the lower part of my leg, looking perplexed for a second. His wrinkles got more prominent as he scrunched his face up.

"I can't remember."

* * *

After the old man had left, presumably to check on other patients, I was left alone to my thoughts. He hadn't given me any orders  _ _not__  to walk around, but I didn't want to push my luck just yet. Now that I was in Skyhold and that I made it alive, though barely, I could start thinking of a way to go back to my world.

That's assuming I can, that is.

I glared at the tent, as if it had all the answers to my problems. What would I gain from going back anyway? I've likely been missing for about a week now, seeing as how that's about how long I've been here. And I'd just go back to a family that refused to talk to each other unless they are picking at each other's insecurities. I didn't know what I wanted, to be honest. But with this adventure I've had, I have a feeling I'd have a new outlook on life if I ever returned. I would leave and start anew. Yes. That's what I'd do if I returned.

I turned my body so that my feet were dangling off of the cot and I saw a small plate with some bread and cheese on it. A feast! I grabbed it swiftly and started to wolf it down.

"If you return, you think that everything will be worse. You're scared.  _ _'I don't know what to do with her anymore...'__  She abandoned you. It's alright, though. She was still young, too. She didn't know how to  _ _be__  a mother." A rather calm voice floated through the air and I knew it to be only one person. The only person that I knew would be privy to my personal life. Still wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I paused in the middle of devouring the bread. My gaze slipped over to the bedroll in the other corner of the tent. Cole was seated on it, cross legged and rocking slowly. His huge floppy ass hat would bump the tent material behind him as he leaned back. A blank expression was on his face, as usual. His big blue eyes were looking up at me through his blonde bangs, as if waiting for my reaction.

I frowned behind the bread in my hand. She still shouldn't have left me. No. Us. We were young too. I could feel my eyes darken at the thought. It was one thing to put me in danger. To leave me. But the fact that she also left my siblings made me furious. I still hadn't forgiven her for that. I wanted to growl, but refrained from doing so. The last thing I wanted was to scare Cole. I heard him shift as he got up on his knees and was sitting right in front of me, eyes wide.

"I made you hurt more! I said it wrong, let me try again." He then lifted his hand in front of my face and seemed to concentrate. But before he could, I grabbed his hand as quickly as I could. His big pale hands were wrapped with some type of cloth, I noticed, but his fingers were still free.

"N-no! Please. Don't." The sentence flew out of my mouth swiftly, expressing the fear I felt. I didn't want to forget. The thought of not being able to remember something  _ _scared__  me.

"But-"

"Cole,  _ _please__. You'll ... hurt me if you make me forget."

That gave him pause, and he stared at me for a moment as if weighing the validity of my words.

"Look, Cole. I'm fine." I pulled his hand down at his side and away from my face. He was staring at me with those eyes of his. They seemed to stare right through me. I set the half eaten piece of bread by my side with my other hand and shook my head.

"You always remember. Are you like me?" He questioned, staring at me more intently. "No. You're you. Human. More real than me. Your echoes are just harder to hear – distant and muted. When I listen ... I have to try harder."

My brows rose, that was good to know I suppose.

"You're just as  _ _real__  as I am, Cole." I replied and shook my head with a small smile, "I mean, you've manifested a physical form, you have feelings just like me and … you're warm … like a person." I slowly let go of his hand, which I just realized I'd been holding this whole time. Feeling slightly embarrassed, I looked over at the tent flap coughed awkwardly. My thoughts buzzed to anything except for the person that was sitting in front of me.

Ugh. I've never been good at these kinds of social interactions. It felt odd to me to even let someone this close at all. I shook my head and started to think about when they'd name Lavellan Inquisitor of the Inquisition. Either it'd already happened or it would. Soon.

"Your thoughts are fuzzy, blurry, obscured." I looked back over at Cole, who looked almost  _ _concerned__  for my welfare. It may have been my imagination, though. " _ _What happened?__ "

I laughed, which seemed to just confuse the poor guy even more.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it. It happens all the time." I shook my head slowly and thought about the healer Adan's reactions just before he left. "Were you the one that was kicking that poor old man awake in the middle of the night?"

"Yes. You felt cold, but not. Your body was really hot and you were fading away. I woke him up so he could help."

"And the water?"

"Your thoughts were  _ _loud__." I grinned, trying to stifle another laugh from popping out.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you." I lifted my hand and patted the top of his head. Well, his hat. He flinched a little, "You're a good friend, thank you."

"Friend?"

"Of course. Friend's look out for each other. We've done a lot of that." I paused for a moment, "So help me stand up, yeah? I need to stretch."

****Third Person** **

Skyhold had much to offer and Lynn saw the potential. There was much to be done, however, but she had high hopes for the new base of operations for the Inquisition. She had been recently named Inquisitor earlier that day and had been congratulated by many people as she passed by. The elf had called for a meeting with the few of her most trusted people. Which currently consisted of; Cassandra, Varric, Solas, Sera, Blackwall and Iron Bull.

Her advisors were out in Skyhold getting things going and were currently too busy at the moment. Viviene, after she'd had a disagreement with her about Cole, had gone to Val Royeaux to get some errands done. Lynn thought it was mostly because of the sorry state Skyhold was in at the moment, to be honest. The Orlesian woman had scrunched up her nose at the sight of the interior, making the Inquisitor giggle in response.

The Inquisitor was unsure of what to make of Dorian and Cole as of yet, but had decided to let them stay. She genuinely believed the spirit boy when he said he only wanted to help. Solas believed him, as well, which served to help in her decision regarding him. Dorian had helped warn them of the attack on Haven. As had Lyn, the otherworlder. She scrunched her delicate features together, thinking about the odd woman.

The meeting was to be about the three new additions to the group. First things first, though. Lyn's fate was to be discussed. The Inquisitor had given her word that she wouldn't be harmed and wholeheartedly believed her friends wouldn't suggest such a thing anyway.

It was quite hard to believe the tales she'd spun, however. Which was highly troubling when she'd first come out about it. Most of her friends had just brushed her off as a rambling madwoman and that she was just better suited in the prison cells.

Then the attack on Haven actually came.

That changed their minds. Not only that, but the fact that she'd known about the secret passageway that Roderick had been talking about. It was at that moment that Lavellan knew that the woman had been telling the truth.

Ever since then, she'd been thinking about her actions, Lyn's actions. She had gotten out of her cell, but she didn't run away. She stayed to help. That spoke volumes on her character and that's when the Inquisitor knew that she was a good person.

The elf slowly walked up to the massive ornate door that lead to their new War Room and could faintly hear talking through the doorway. She took a deep breath and walked through.

"Inquisitor." Cassandra greeted as she stood to the right. Lynn nodded in her direction and walked all the way in, closing the door behind her. In the middle of the room sat a gigantic wooden table with two maps atop. Windows surrounded them with views of the mountains peeking through as sunlight poured into the room, bathing everyone with warm natural light.

"You're probably all wondering why I've had you called here today." Lynn nodded, looking at everyone's curious faces. "It's about the new additions to our group."

"Wait, please don't tell me you actually let Creepy stay. Pleaaaaase." Sera groaned.

"They're all staying, Sera. They've helped us escape Haven, with minimal casualties too. If it weren't for them..."

"So Screech actually pulled through, huh?" Varric butted in, "She got pretty worked up with Curly when you guys went charging out into battle. It was a sight to behold." He chuckled. Sera had started to giggle, sounding almost evil as she did so.

"Oh, Bitch tits? Didja see her fighting off the baddies in front of the Chantry with that bow? Friggen badass!" The blonde elf started to make a motion like she was firing her own bow, "She was like  _ _'Bam! Peeeewww! Eat it!'__ "

"Maker..." Cassandra breathed, shaking her head with her hand on her face.

"Bitch …. tits?" Blackwall sounded like he didn't even want to believe what he'd heard, his eyes widened as he looked at the loud elf.

"Yeah, she has a nice rack. Ya know?" Sera made an obscene gesture with her hands up by her own chest area, over exaggerating the size. Iron Bull made an appreciative nod, as if thinking about it himself.

"Enough." Lavellan spoke up, trying to hide her own amusement at the blonde elf's antics, silencing them. The dalish elf had always found Sera to be quite endearing and had kind of a soft spot for her. "What I'm trying to say is, we're going to keep an eye on her while we get the Inquisition back up on it's feet. I honestly don't believe she was a spy."

"Her story did sound a bit outlandish to be the truth." Iron Bull had put in, "I've been watching her when I can and she doesn't scream ' _ _spy__ ' to me. Crazy? Probably. But definitely not a spy."

The fact that Bull had said that, made Lynn relax even more. That was Bull's job, after all. He was Ben-Hassrath, his job was hunting down spies, rebels and deserters. If anyone had a knack for digging up spies, it was him.

Lynn began to explain to the group that once the tavern was cleaned up and going, she'd have the girl assigned to a room there. This was where most of the people would be and she could always have eyes on her.

"And since you're so good at judging people's character … I'd think you could keep a close eye on her, Bull." Lavellan suggested, looking over at him hopefully. It wasn't so much to ask, it wasn't like she was asking him to keep constant watch over her. Just whenever he can.

"Noooo offense Boss, but I'm not really good at babysitting." He drawled, "But I'll keep my eye open."

"Please." Lynn smiled up at him, hands clasping in front of her body. "She could have ran when she got out of her cell back at Haven, but she didn't... we all saw that."

"I'm not saying I believe her story, but to stand up and warn us beforehand. Even knowing she'd get locked up or killed … I find that admirable. She did the right thing, even though it was the hardest path to choose." Blackwall added, nodding his head. "It's only fair we give her a chance to prove herself."

A few of the others seemed to agree, though Lynn wondered to herself how the girl had actually come across the information in the first place. Had her story been a ruse? Or was she actually telling the truth?

Once they'd all come to an agreement, they moved on to talking about Cole and Dorian. To which she made it clear that they'd stay, as well. She called the meeting adjourned and made her way slowly through the inside of the main building in Skyhold. She saw the construction that was being put into the place already and was pleased to see it was coming along nicely. Though there still seemed to be some undergrowth peeking through on the inside. Lynn neared the exit and took a deep breath as she went out into the cool fresh air.

She was on her way down toward the entrance of Skyhold where there was a line of tents which contained medical patients. A couple of larger tents were for the more serious cases, which was what the girl was currently residing in. Lyn had gotten injured during the attack on Haven and refused treatment. It had surprised the elf that she'd even been able to walk around very long with such serious burns. She was sure Adan gave the girl a lecture on proper care of herself.

As she neared one of the bigger tents, that she knew Lyn was staying in, she heard voices floating through the other side of the canvas. Blinking her gray eyes, she listened with her keen elf ears.

"N-no, don't let me fall!" She heard Lyn squeak out.

"What do I do?! I'm trying my best." Cole sounded concerned. Lavellan stopped just outside of the tent and rose a brow, what were they doing?

"Grab me."

"Where?"

"Right here!" The elf heard some shuffling around before she coughed, opening the tent flap and peeking in.

Her eyes traveled and settled on the two forms standing in the middle of the tent. Well, if one could call what Lyn was doing standing. She seemed unsteady on her feet as her legs wobbled like a newborn foal. The girl's hands were on Cole's shirt in a vice-like grip, her face expressing her fear of falling. Cole's face mirrored her own, his hands hovering just over her shoulders looking unsure if he was even allowed to touch her.

****First Person** **

Oh, the silence that ensued after Lynn had entered the tent. I felt mildly embarrassed that I'd even thought I could walk yet.  _ _Well__ , I didn't want to  _ _walk__  per se. I had just wanted to stand and stretch. Test the strength of my legs. Which only resulted in some sort of awkward dance between Cole and I.

"Did Adan say you could be up, yet?" Lynn voiced after a few seconds of silence.

"Uhh... he didn't say I  _ _couldn't__  be?" I offered with a sheepish look on my face, "I'll just sit down. I'm sorry, Cole."

I had seen how uncomfortable I'd made the poor spirit. Perhaps I should have waited for someone else to come and help me.

"No, you wanted to stretch. Your legs were cramping. Stiff and itching to move." Were his reassuring words but I felt my shoulders slump in response anyway.

I shook my head and tried to ease myself onto the cot, letting go of the front of his shirt in the process. Lynn had come over and her hands came up to steady me, making me flinch. She seemed surprised, but helped me down anyway. I'd never been good with physical contact with other people. Once I was finally positioned on the cot, my legs dangled over the sides and my feet brushed the dirt on the ground.

"Is there something you needed?" I finally asked, taking my gaze away from my bare feet and looking up at her. I'd noticed that Cole had gone missing, which made me a bit sad. I had been enjoying his company.

"Well, yes. It was regarding your stay here at Skyhold." Ah, so this is it. I'm going to get kicked out now aren't I? How am I going to be able to fend for myself? My posture must have visibly stiffened, "You're staying, don't worry." She soothed.

"I haven't given any of you a reason to let me stay though, have I?" I laughed mirthlessly, "Perhaps if I had tried harder..."

"No, you did fine. It was  _ _because__  of what you did that so many innocents were spared. If you had simply left, instead..." She trailed off, unable to continue.

"I wouldn't have." I assured, thinking of how many could have been cut down had I not gotten Cole and Dorian to help.

Lynn then started to explain to me about where I would be staying, which was in the tavern up the stairs outside. Apparently they were still cleaning it out, along with the construction that was currently going on. Everyone was busy, which made me feel slightly guilty for being stuck here in this tent.

"When I'm able to move around, I'll try my best to help out around Skyhold. You're doing me a big favor by letting me stay here."

Lavellan nodded to me and she turned to leave before she stopped. "You'd better get well, too. I've had a few people asking about you, ya know." She looked back at me and offered a bright smile, her white teeth glinting in the sunlight that the flap of the tent had been letting in.

* * *

It took me merely days before I was fully functional again, much to the reluctance of Adan. The wounds still itched and bothered me a little, but they were no more than red marks on my skin now. It was awesome that the medicine here was so good compared to my own. Sure, back home they had surgeries and whatnot. But here, you could be on the brink of death and you'd be healed in half the time it would have been back in a hospital at my place.

I was standing at the entrance of The Herald's Rest, the tavern, feeling nervous. I'd been told that I should approach the Iron Bull about which room mine would be, but I'd never actually talked to the Qunari before. Sure, I'd seen him in the distance before but...

I gulped. What if he was mean to me?

 _ _God__  I sound like a sniveling two year old! I scoffed at myself and pushed the door open, walking inside and choking down my anxiety.

The inside of the tavern was much larger than it had been in the game, much like Skyhold itself was. Tables were stationed near the walls while the bar actually looked farther back to my left. I'd been expecting this, though, seeing as how Lynn said that there was  _ _rooms__  here in the tavern when there hadn't been in the game. It made me wonder where the rooms even were.

I saw Bull talking to one of his men at the table across the room. The sounds of many voices drowned out any of the conversation they may have been having. Not that I wanted to eavesdrop anyway. I frowned and started to make my way forward, boots making a clunking noise in the process.

Once I was standing in front of him, I noticed just how massive he was. The thought terrified me. Tall people back in my home world scared me, but him? Not only that but his horns. Dear God, those horns...

 _ _'How in the hell does he get through doors?'__  I thought to myself, looking at them. Bull slammed his tankard down and let out a bellowing laugh, causing me to jump out of my thoughts.

"Smart. Real smart. First thing you say when you come up to the Qunari, ' _ _How does he get through doors, ooooh.'__ " Someone mimicked my voice in a rather annoying tone and proceeded to chuckle from the other side of the table, who I noticed was actually Krem. I frowned.

"Had I said that out loud? My bad."

"Don't worry about it, kid. No hard feelings." Bull smirked at me. Now, any normal person would have had to _ _look up__  at me from a seated position. But this big bastard was at eye level with me. "Ey, Krem. You mind showing her to her room?"

"Yeah, sure. You just don't want to get off your lazy ass and do it yourself." He snarked to the Qunari with a smirk on his face and stood up from his seat, his heavy plate armor making noise as he shifted. I scuttled back a few steps and allowed him to get by. Even Krem was taller than me, making me huff. I wasn't  _ _short__  for a woman, but did everyone in this world have to remain taller?

I followed him up one flight of stairs, seeing more tables and a few doors. The upstairs was significantly smaller than the downstairs, making me believe that the doors I saw were actually rooms. Tattered blue carpets softened my footsteps as I walked behind Krem. Now if I remember correctly, those weren't there either. The doors, I mean. But a few were open, revealing some of the Chargers within. I'd expected Bull's group to be loud and disorderly, but they were actually kind of quiet as they sat on their bunks in the rooms and conversed. Snapping my attention back to my guide, I saw him take me around and up the second flight.

I'm going to be up  _ _here__? Fuuuuck. Don't tell me I have to sleep on a hay pile. Please don't-

I wouldn't have to. There were doors up here, too. I blinked in confusion upon seeing them. It was significantly darker up here, making it easier on my eyes. I'd always liked darker places, finding it easier to make myself unnoticeable. The layout was mostly the same, but since the building was larger I suppose that meant more room for … well... rooms. There were four up here, from the looks of it. One might have been a closet, I'm not sure.

In the game I remembered there were just a few windows up here. But that wasn't the case now that I actually came up here in person. Where I'd remembered windows being, there were doors instead. I walked up to the door that Krem stood in front of and opened it, revealing a rather small room. Smaller than the rooms down one level, but I wasn't complaining. It was located closest to the staircase. The room was just big enough to have one of those big beds (Yes!) and a dresser in it. The dresser had a small mirror built into it as it sat on the left of the room. The bed was pushed into the right corner of the room, with a small window overlooking the training dummies behind the tavern. Barely any leg room, but it was a place to stay and I wouldn't complain.

Not only that, but I got to have some privacy. Even if the room was only half the size of what a normal room from my world would be. It was most definitely better than that little shack I had been staying in back at Haven. I nodded in appreciation, looking back at Krem.

"Thank you." I stated, voice bland as ever.

"Do you ever smile, or are you always like that?"

"Excuse me?" I rose a brow.

"It's nothing, forget I said anything." He smiled down at me before turning around and walking out, closing the door as he left. Was he trying to pick on me? Nah. It was as simple observation, I suppose. I did smile, albeit rarely. Whenever I forced myself to smile, it looked really … creepy. So I avoided it.

I walked over to the full sized bed and took a seat on it, facing the dresser that was on the left side of the room. I was barely able to see my reflection as I observed myself. My glasses had somehow been saved when I passed out on the way to Skyhold. I winced as I remembered the one time I face planted into the snow when I was younger, back at my Aunt's, breaking my glasses.

There was a light scar above my left eyebrow and went up close to the hairline. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. I looked down at my bandaged arm and leg, wondering if I would have more scars to add to my growing collection.

It brought on another thought. I needed to learn to at least defend myself. I didn't finish the game, so I had absolutely no idea how it ended. What if Corypheus attacked Skyhold? Would I even be able to defend myself? Others? I would be useless. A dead weight.

I was silently hoping by then I would already be home, but to my luck that's not likely.

* * *

Later that day, in the evening I had made my way through Skyhold and up to the library in search of Dorian. I'd assumed he'd be there, but was just taking a wild guess. Much to my luck, he hadn't been. After some scurrying around, I found him seated out in the gardens reading. Or, what would be the gardens. It was atrocious as it was now.

"Dorian?"

"Why yes, it's me. How  _ _ever__  did you know?" He turned and I saw that his eyes showed the amusement he must have been feeling. I walked up to him and stood next to the bench he was occupying.

"I don't know, your mustache must have given you away."

"Wonderful isn't it?" His hand, which had been propping his book up, came up to stroke his facial hair almost thoughtfully.

I let out a genuine smile at that. I'd always thought he was pretty amusing, but to the task at hand.

"I'd like to thank you, actually. You saved me from getting turned into a shishkabob back at Haven." I turned my head away from him to look at the destroyed looking garden.

"It was nothing, really." He shrugged it off. "A dashing man such as myself couldn't ignore a damsel in distress."

"Yes...  _ _right__." I drawled and added sarcastically, "My knight in shining armor..."

"I certainly fit the part, don't I." He held up his arm and looked at it, as if appraising it. I scoffed, and looked away to hide my smile. Such a goofball, he was. I waved him off and started to walk away.

"I'll see you around."

It was short and sweet, but I felt I needed to thank the man. He had saved my poor butt when he could have just let me get cut up. I'm going to have a tough road ahead of me, I realized. I didn't know whether or not to look forward to it or not, as I stared out at the upper courtyard.

* * *

The first three weeks at Skyhold seemed to pass by in a blur. I had helped the citizens as much as I could, running around and gathering supplies and even grabbing water for the construction workers. I never talked much, just asked if they needed things. I think they started to think I was a servant or something, because sometimes I'd get a  _ _'hey girl! Can you get me –'__  every now and again.

Small things, at first, then I started to help unloading stuff for the stables. Every week. It wasn't much different than what I'd done back home. I had lived with my aunt long enough on her farm to know what to do in stables. As for helping people out? I did say I wanted to be a police officer, did I not? It's kinda what I do, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

Eventually, I had made it my job to help Dennet with cleaning the stables and feeding the horses. Since said stables were much larger than in game. Again. I was just accepting the fact that it everything in this world was much larger than it'd been portrayed. It was familiar work for me and it never really bothered me. It was also nice that the old horsemaster didn't see fit to try and strike up conversation with me all of the time. I'd been avoiding most conversation for awhile now, afraid to be called crazy or looked at like some animal. He's occasionally bark out orders to a few of his workers, me standing nearby, I'd jump up and just do it.

On time in particular, I'd stopped by in the rotunda where Solas resided once because he'd requested my presence. I think he believed I remembered my journey here and wanted to know more about how I'd gone through the Fade. I disagreed and said it was merely a theory and told him all I could. I'd simply crashed and woke up face-down in a pile of snow.

Not the most  _ _glorious__  way to enter a different world, but it was the unfortunate truth.

I left him, feeling disappointed that he couldn't think of anything right away but would contact me if he did. He was the intelligent one of the group, I knew. He was well read and an expert in what he did and if he couldn't find out how I got here? I doubt anyone else could.

Unless I could somehow find Flemeth or Morrigan. I scrunched my brows together at the thought, something itching in the back of my head.

I shrugged it off and continued on my way toward the barn.

Another thing I've been doing during these few weeks was practice my aim with my bow near the training dummies outside of the tavern. As expected, I'd run into Cassandra a few times but only offered a few words. We hadn't actually ever talked and I was pretty much ignored by anyone else I'd seen.

Not that they could have offered much of a conversation, anyway. They were out on missions a lot or scouting new areas, which also meant I hardly ever saw Lynn. The spindly elf was probably the only one that willingly associated with me since I came here. Cole would pop in here and there, but he had other things to do and would even sometimes go out of Skyhold with Lynn. I wished I could somehow … connect with people. Again. It's been far too long since I had a friend and I didn't even know how to properly maintain that kind of relationship. I simply knew that I enjoyed the company of Cole and Lynn.

Sighing, I walked over toward the stalls to see the horses. I'd visit on my off time every now and again, but would usually keep to myself and not bother anyone. I sat there quietly and pet the soft velvety nose of the horse sitting in the stall. It was one of the friendly ones that allowed me to pet it. I would sometimes sneak treats from Master Dennet's stash across the barn.

The light was slowly starting to fade as the sun in the distance cast a red glow in the cloudless sky. I peered up and could see some stars starting to peek out on the opposite side of the sky. It was unusually quiet out, and I knew that the horsemaster had retired a bit early. I heard soft mewling to my right, making me turn my head in hopes of pinpointing the location. It sounded like multiple mews, to be honest.

I walked slowly and quietly into the barn and was eventually lead up the stairs to the loft. I made my way slowly over to a hay pile and discovered … kittens. Cute fluffy kittens. My eyes lit up and I walked closer, seeing that they were just old enough to open their eyes and stumble around. I didn't get too close and stayed at a respectable distance when I saw their mother come back to feed them. There were about three of them, I observed, as I sat on one of the square bales of straw about 5 feet away. I'd always loved animals. Much more so than humans, since they didn't seem to judge me or see me differently. I was just another human, to them. Someone to feed them. Pet them.

"You're happy." I froze and sucked in a breath, widening my eyes. I had not expected to hear anyone else up here with me. It was, obviously, Cole. What is it with rogues and sneaking up on people all the time?

"I suppose you could say that." I conceded after a few moments of silence, my heartbeat finally starting to slow from being startled. I leaned forward and got a closer look at them.

"Cracked skin. Bleeding.  _ _'The calluses mean I am getting stronger'.__  You push yourself so that you can help the others." I felt him brush his hand across the top of mine, just barely, making me look over at him. He was crouched down, staring at me. Observing me. I lifted the hand he'd touched and glanced at it, palm up. Of course I had calluses forming. I'd even made myself bleed a couple of times because I stayed up all day. All night. Trying to hit that target from farther and farther away. "Adan would be upset."

Of course. The old man had urged me to come in whenever I needed to get my hands or arms looked at, but I refused to unless I  _ _really__  needed to. Cole stood up and walked toward the kittens and crouched next to them instead, his hands reached out to gently caress the mother cat. She didn't seem to mind, as he continued to softly pet her. He must come up here a lot, if she trusted him.

Unless it was just Cole. He was just so gentle by nature, it was hard not to trust him. The cat may have sensed that, as well. I wouldn't know. Then he smiled, and it seemed to light up his face. It was small, but it was there, as he stared down at the small animals in the hay. I was unsure as to why, but I could have sworn I stopped breathing.

The remaining rays of light over the horizon poured through the small window like a beacon, casting fluorescent light over the scene before me. His hat, which normally covered his features, was moved up so that he could see the kittens better. The mother cat was definitely enjoying the love she was receiving as she purred and leaned into his touch.

My hand twitched, the sudden urge to sketch the scene before me itching at the back of my mind. It had been a very  _ _very__  long time since I'd ever wanted to draw again. I can't remember when I'd stopped, but my passion for drawing had just... died one day. But, right at this moment, I wanted nothing more than to have my sketchbook in front of me as I sketched with my graphite pencil.

We sat there, in silence, for about 10 minutes before he stood up and disappeared. From my place on the straw bale I sighed, looking around at the inside of the barn. It was dark now, the torchlight from down below being the only illumination that was offered. I felt lonely again as I looked back over at the pile of sleeping kittens. I couldn't really see them that well, anymore, but I remained here for awhile. I enjoyed the dark and the protection that it offered me. Unless there were things for me to trip over. Then I hated it.

I stood up and slowly ambled my way over to the ledge of the loft, taking a seat. My legs dangled over the edge as I looked down at the floor, which was made of dirt, little stacks of straw and hay scattered around.

I looked up at the vaulted ceiling of the barn, smiling sadly. I wonder how long it'd been … since I actually tried to make a friend. I mean, I know I considered Cole and Lynn my friends. Somehow. I just can't... Right now, I would give anything to be able to figure out what I needed to do just to-

"You think you're doing it wrong. You're sad when I leave, why?" When I looked up to my left, Cole was looking down at me with his head tilted to the side. I could see the curiosity in his eyes, as the torchlight from below lit up his face. I stared up at him, bewildered.

"I uhh..." I fumbled, bringing my hands together and fidgeting. "I've just forgotten what it's like to... want this."

"Friends. They've all turned their backs on you. One by one, you watched them leave. You gave up on human companionship. But you feel … lonely. You crave it, cry out for it. On the inside so no one hears. Why would you hurt yourself like that?"

My hands stopped moving and I looked down at my feet, my stomach hurt and my chest felt heavy. He really wouldn't know why, would he? The pain I'd felt when they left. The abandonment was much the same as I'd felt when I was a kid, watching my mother walk away. Over and over again. Like a vicious cycle, it happened. Then. It stopped.  ** _ ** _I_**_**  stopped.

"I'm scared of getting hurt again. But... this. I-" I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. "It's been too long and I have no idea how to be a good friend. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're trying."  _ _That's what counts__ , I suppose. "I once had a friend. But he found out what I was. And I lost him."

I hadn't known that. I looked up at him, eyes wide. Guess I'd been wrong about him not knowing what it would feel like.

"Did it... hurt...?" I asked softly, swinging my legs slowly back and forth over the ledge as I sat. I heard Cole take a seat beside me to my left, I peered over at him through my loose waves of hair that seemed to always get in the way. He was looking out toward the gates of Skyhold, the look on his face seemed the same. Passive. However, I could see the look in his eyes. The same look I saw in my own whenever I stared at myself in the mirror. He did feel it, the pain.

"Yes." He confirmed, his voice sounding bleak. I frowned, feeling a dull ache set in my chest. I'd never wish that kind of thing on anyone else. Cole peered over at me, eyes wide. "I hurt you. How?" He sounded concerned as he leaned forward to get a better look at my face.

"No, I'm just … I  _sympathize_  with you." My legs stilled as I turned away to hide my expression, "I'm sorry that it happened to you, too."

We sat there for a few minutes, just enjoying the silence before he spoke up.

"Blackwall thinks what you did at Haven was a good thing. Admirable. He's the one that suggested to give you a chance. To prove yourself."

"...Cole..?" I didn't know why he was telling me these things.

"Sera likes you. Sees you training everyday. With the bow. Self taught, just like her. She sees herself in you and it makes her happy. Lynn wishes she could spend more time with you. So busy. Work,  _ _'have to get more done.__ ' Deadlines." Cole looked over at me, his hair shifted from the slight breeze that came in from outside, "Varric thinks you're a good person.  _ _'Her heart is in the right place.'__ "

I smiled, "Really? They must still think I'm crazy, no doubt." To this he nods,

"They think Sera is crazy and they are still her friend." I let out a quiet laugh at that.

"Is this your subtle way of telling me to try and open up to them?"

"Open. What are you going to open?" Cole sounded confused and a little disturbed.

"N-no. Like. Try to be their friends. Sorry, I forgot how literal you are sometimes." I explain as I smirk, looking up at the ceiling. Feeling a little bit lighter I added, "But yeah... I'll … try."

It was then that I'd decided that I would at least try to talk to the others as well. I'd been avoiding them, only really talking to Cole or Lynn whenever I saw them. The other companions would, in turn, ignore me as well. Though I still held some fear that I would only be making a mistake and I would just end up getting hurt all over again. It was this slight encouragement I'd gotten from Cole that spurred me into action.

I silently vowed to be a good friend to Cole, as well. The fact that he'd had a friend before that … left him … made me feel oddly protective over him. I never wanted that to happen again, not if I had a say in it.


	6. Shenanigans and Bears

It was the start of a new day and I decided to at least try and socialize. Starting with Josephine. I know, an odd place to start. But she'd mentioned she wanted to take a look at a couple of my pieces of clothing and send it to a tailor friend to get replicated and/or looked at. She was mostly interested in the bra, once I'd shown her how they worked and whatnot, but I'd asked her to see if she could get me a few plain t-shirts replicated out of my burned one from earlier. Along with some cargo pants, to which she agreed after I said that I would pay her back somehow (either through working or the few silvers I earned here and there). Who knows, maybe t-shirts and cargo pants will come into style over here? Hah. I snorted at the thought.

Which brings me to my current situation. I walked next to the elegantly dressed ambassador as she spoke to me about her plans.

"I would like to thank you for this opportunity." She spoke in her odd accent as she looked over at me with a smile. "Though I have to express my doubts that we will be able to replicate such fine stitching, how does one achieve such a thing?" She was holding my burnt outfit along with a spare bra that was starting to get worn out. The bras they have here are fucking atrocious. I'd tried one on one day when I had to get my laundry done. They were itchy and sometimes didn't really fit right. Being a woman with a larger chest, it was much harder to get it to hold me correctly. I had walked around all day with a sour look on my face, as a result. It sucked ass.

"They're not exactly hand-made like most of the items here." I commented offhandedly, not even looking over to see her expression. I've accepted the fact that no matter how much I tried to convince them, they wouldn't believe me anyway. So why not just go with it? I think she was about to ask something, but I saw Sera walk by giggling like a madwoman alongside Lynn who looked like she was trying to contain her own laughter. They were looking right at us and I just stared, brow raised. I may be crazy, but maybe that means I will fit in just fine. I snorted, opening the door to Josephine's office.

Something I regretted immensely, because an ice cold bucket of water fell on top of my head.

I let out a screech as I felt the water completely soak me. I threw the bucket off of my head and whipped around. Brown eyes ablaze with anger. Josephine was looking at me with an expression mixed with shocked horror and extreme amusement. Her delicate hand was held up to hide her smiling lips, her eyes widened but glittering with amusement. I looked like a drowned rat.

"Sera!" I yelled, stomping passed the ambassador and down the main hall of Skyhold. I could hear some murmurs along with a few giggles as I clumped by. My rust colored hair was plastered to the sides of my face and my once semi-loose t-shirt was now clinging to my body. I had seen her and Lynn go through the atrium, where Solas was usually hanging out and painting the walls. My shirt dripped as I walked through and toward the door that likely lead across toward Cullen's office. Once I exited out into the cold crisp air, my body began to shiver. However, I was a woman on a mission.

I spotted Lynn and Sera trying to sneak by across the walkway.

"You!" I pointed, rather dramatically might I add, and jogged up to her. She looked at me and started to cackle loudly at my appearance. The usually reserved Lynn was even giggling.

"L-look at your hair." Lynn giggled, gray eyes darting over my drenched figure. I glowered.

"I-it wasn't even meant for you, Screechie. My baaad."

Not listening, I scooted close enough so that I was within arms reach. They mustn't have thought me a threat, because neither of them even backed away. I then proceeded to shake off like a wet dog. From the choked gasp I'd gotten, I'd assumed I at least got Sera. I then looked at her with a haughty expression as she was wiping the remnants of water off of her face.

"Do you know who my father is?" I said in a stuck up tone, pointing my chin up and looking down at her.

"Pfff, no." She rose her brow and gave me her signature lopsided smirk. The blonde elf looked like she was about to say something else, probably offensive, but I continued.

"Huh. Neither do I, but I'll find a way to get you in trouble!" I declared as I flicked my hair and strutted off in the other direction. As I left and walked back into the Herald's Rest, I was plotting a way to get back at Sera. I silently wondered how many times anyone has ever actually  _pranked her back_.

I let out an evil chuckle as I neared the first set of stairs.

"Damn. What happened to you?" I heard a deep voice ask before I got the chance to take the first step. I turned my head and saw Bull and a few of his Chargers looking at me. Bull's eye, however, was not on my face. I scrunched my nose up and looked down at myself, seeing just how my body felt about the cold.

"Ugh." I let out a disgusted noise and stomped the rest of the way up.

"I think  _Sera_  happened." Krem's voice floated up to the second floor from below. A few of the others from his group started to laugh, as if knowing exactly what her antics were like.

"You're all wet." Cole spoke up as I got to the top of the tavern. I gave him a 'no  _really_?' look and opened my door.

"No shit, Sherlock." I mumbled.

"But... My name is  _Cole_ , not  _Sherlock_." I turned my head and looked at him, seeing his dumbfounded expression. I felt my irritation from earlier slowly starting to melt away as I shook my head and turned around.

"Sorry, it's just an expression where I'm from. It basically means,  _'Duh. Brilliant observation!'_ " My voice was dripping with sarcasm as I dug around in my dresser for a different outfit. Throwing a few items of clothing, not really caring what I wore, on the bed. My underwear were fine, it was just my clothes I needed to switch. Real quick.

"Ohhh. Well, thank you!" Was Cole's happy response. I had forgotten that he didn't  _get_  sarcasm. I grunted and started to pull off my shirt. It was almost over my head when it got stuck.

The fucker got stuck. Of all the things to happen! I never wore low cut shirts, so it was pretty difficult to even get the thing over my head with how heavy it'd gotten from the water. It didn't help that it wasn't a real stretchy material.

"God..." I huffed, "Damn it!"

At some point I'd backed up against the wall near my dresser and no doubt I looked completely idiotic. My arms were stuck in a raised position as I tried to grab at the cloth to pull over my head. I felt warm hands clasp at the top of my shirt and lift, but it was still giving me difficulties. I could have sworn I heard footsteps outside of my door, but ignored it in favor of getting this blasted thing off.

"Just p-pull." I gasped, trying to yank in the opposite direction. It had come off so suddenly that when the shirt finally  _did_  come off, I was met with the scene of Cole falling over onto his ass. He let out a loud grunt as he landed.

Fortunately he'd landed on my bed, so there's that I suppose. I sighed,

"Finally..." I groaned in relief.

"Uhhhh... I don't mean to point out the obvious, but you kinda left the door open." I heard from the entrance of my room. I turned my head with a dull expression on my face. Varric was standing there, face uncertain. It looked like he was unsure of what to feel.

I was just standing there in my sports bra and jeans. To be honest, there wasn't really an issue. I'd had people walk in on me changing a few times before and never really felt the need to get all flustered about it. Must've been a thing that most social recluses had. I held no obligation to feel all weird about little things like this.

"I was just changing." I stated, feeling the instant urge to clarify, earning a low  _'uh huuuh...'_. I then looked back at my bed to grab my dry shirt. Only I couldn't because Cole was laying on it, his head turned toward Varric.

"Hello, Varric." He greeted happily.

"Hello, kid." He replied in an even tone, "Look, what you guys do on your own time is none of my business... but the Inquisitor told me to come get him. We're going out to scout the Hinterlands for something."

My face turned red at the implications. "Varric..." I ground out as I grabbed my wet shirt from Cole's hands. Not giving him any warning, I whipped it as hard as I could toward him. It hit him right in the face with a loud ' _ **slop**_!'.

Varric grunted, stumbling backwards. I strode up to my door calmly, despite the irritation I was currently feeling. First Sera drenches me with water, accidentally. Then I walk around Skyhold with my ladies practically screaming to the world how cold it is. Now Varric walks in and assumes –

My brain doesn't seem to even want to finish that thought as I slam my door shut. Pervert! I suddenly felt the urge to stab him in the eye with one of my unsharpened pencils, which resided in my bag across the room. Bad thoughts. No. Bad. No stabbing. I breathed heavily, calming myself down.

"Face hot. Heart beating so hard it might fall out. It  _feels_  like it's going to fall out. You think Varric's a pervert." Cole's brows knitted together, "What's a pervert?"

"Can I please get my shirt? You're kind of sitting on it." I attempted to divert his attention.

"Oh. Sorry." He stood up swiftly, allowing me to grab it and slip it on. Successful. I changed quickly into my cargo pants and walked to the door and opened it. Varric was standing there, holding my wet shirt with a red mark on his face. The dwarf smirked, eyes glittering with amusement.

"Am I going to have to have a  _talk_  with you about safe se-" I held up my hand,

" _Don't_... finish that sentence. Or I will make you regret it."

"Channeling your inner Cassandra, I see. You need to scrunch your face a bit more, straighten your shoulders and smile like this." He scowled, looking like he needed to take a crap. The funny part about it? It actually kind of looked like how Cassandra's expression was set all the time. The scowl, that is.

I just couldn't stay mad at him, could I? I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and grabbing my shirt from his hands, tossing it back into my room.

"I need to speak with Lynn before you leave, so... lets go."

"Screech … you wound me. You're losing your sense of humor. Live a little!" He chuckled, walking down the stairs. I snorted, not bothering to answer.

We were halfway there when I heard Cole's voice from behind me.

"So... what  _ **is**_  a pervert?" My mouth dropped open as I peeked back at him.

"Uhhh... I'll … uhh. Ask me later and I'll tell you." I tried to push off, hoping he'd forget. Varric started to laugh. I had a feeling he'd be having a talk with me later as I let out a groan, covering my face with my hands as we walked up into the Skyhold main hall.

Lynn was standing just inside of the door with a couple of her party members. Pushing past Varric, who looked mighty pleased with himself (probably from riling me up, that ass), I walked up to Lynn.

"I hear you're out on a scouting mission of some sort?" I ask, she pauses and looks at me. A few of the others, which I noticed contained; Cassandra, Blackwall, Solas and Sera.

"Yes, that would be correct."

"Is it … particularly dangerous?"

"No, not really. Why?"

"I'd like to come with." I coughed, "I-If that'd be alright, that is."

Lynn seemed to be deep in thought for a moment or two and turned around to have a silent conversation with the others. I was stuck standing in the doorway next to Varric and Cole, feeling a bit left out. I'd been stuck here for months and would like to go out and try to make friends. I did say I'd try, didn't I? What better way than to go out with them and try to help?

"I'll... uhhhh. I'll carry the supplies! Yes." I offered, trying to sweeten the deal. Some of them paused and started to talk again before Lynn turned around and smiled at me.

* * *

The next thing I knew, I was walking down the trail with the bags lugged over my shoulder. The horses carried most of the stuff, but I still had some of the supplies while they carried nothing. To be fair, I did offer... They were _heavy_. I huffed,

"Let me go, she said." I breathed, "I'll carry all of the stuff, she said." I stumbled a bit, jogging to try and keep up. " _It'll be fun, she said!"_  I stomped up to the group, walking behind them.

The only recognition I'd gotten that anyone had even heard me was Sera's snicker. I could have sworn I even saw Cassandra smirking up there, but brushed it off as my imagination. I refused to admit this was a bad idea. I already had a hard enough time walking as much as they were with how out of shape I was, but I simply needed to get out. I needed it. 

Ugh.

* * *

To be honest, the only things we were doing at the moment was a few errands that Lynn had needed to get done. Also collecting materials for potions. I was having a hard time identifying elfroot, which was much easier in the game since all you had to do was pulse the stupid blip thing. But I had no such luxury here. It wasn't long until we all started to make camp in a small clearing surrounded by trees. 

I plopped the supplies down and promptly sprawled out on the ground, heedless of the sticks poking me in the butt. My feet hurt like hell and there were likely sores forming. _'I should have expected this, but oh man. All of this walking is going to kill me!'_

Don't even get me started on the constant head and body aches. I think that was mostly because of the lack of caffeine in my diet. I was a coffee hound back on Earth and the constant soda intake didn't help, either. Now? I was always drinking water that had a funny aftertaste. I much preferred to boil snow on my own, due to this. I didn't know how contaminated their water probably was, since they didn't know much about germs and bacteria. Ew.

They had explained to me about how they always kept someone awake for watch, just to make sure we never got ambushed. It was unanimous that I'd be the first, since it was usually easiest. I didn't protest, simply helping with stacking the logs for the fire and taking a seat nearby to relax. My feet rejoiced as I massaged them.

The flames flickered and danced in front of me as I allowed it to warm up my cold body. It wasn't  _too_  cold out here, nothing worse than we had to put up with back home. But I usually didn't camp in this kind of weather, so it was an experience. I was grateful that it was considered too cold for mosquitoes, in the very least. I don't even know if they had repellent in this world. It wasn't 'bed time' yet, so we sat around the fire and casually talked.

Well, more like I watched them interact with one another. They were all so … close. It made me wish I could be as personal as they were. Though, I wasn't the only one not mingling as I sat alone on a log next to Cole. He was doing the same thing as me, watching them talk and laugh. Even Solas looked kind of happy, in his own … Solas kind of way. I thought the guy needed to loosen up a little, maybe get laid.

"They are having fun." Cole stated, making me nod in agreement. I turned to him and stared underneath his floppy hat. The young man was hyper focused on the group, eyes darting back and forth as they talked.

"So you can hear them, huh?" I asked, wondering how exactly his abilities worked.

"Yes. But it has to be a hurt, a pain, pulling prodding inside."

"Can you hear anything other than pain, though?"

"....sometimes." He answered hesitantly, brows knitting in thought, "But if they're content and happy, I don't have to help."

"Hmmm." I answered, turning to look at the fire. No one really took note of the two of us, loners in the background. The sky was dark at that point, the only light coming from the flames in front of us. "Sometimes people react badly, even if you have their best interests in mind. But you're a good person. Don't let that discourage you."

"Sometimes I have to start over, _'Too weird. Not right. Demon.'_ " 

"But you're not. As odd as you may be. I'm odd too, you know." I smirked and peeked up at him momentarily before focusing on the fire again. I knew of the things he has started within the fortress. Even saw him, at times. I also knew, thanks to my foreknowledge. "You're doing great, Cole. Perhaps in time it'll become easier to help without making them forget and 'starting over', as you say."

Silence. It was quiet between us for a time before he responded with a quiet, "Thank you."

I tried to impart some sort of encouragement to him, knowing that many of the people within Skyhold were leery of him. It seemed only the Inner Circle knew of his spirityness, however. I let out a breath through my nose and leaned back, shoulder brushing against his. He seemed to tense, so did I. I scooted away slightly, noticing someone approaching our little corner of the fire. Varric at our right, both of us looking over at him curiously.

"Soooo... I've been waiting for the dreaded question." He spoke with a smirk as he turned his head to the side a bit, sitting down as he did so.

"Dreading what question?" I asked in a bored tone, raising a brow as I stared at him.

"Well, yes." He sighed dramatically, "I've unofficially adopted the kid. It's only fair that you ask permission first, right?"

"Permission for what?" Cole asked, just as confused as me.

That made me pause, however. Confusion turned into understanding as both my brows rose and I felt my face turning red.

"I don't have to ask permission for anything!" I bit back, nearly screeching as I stood up swiftly.

"Now now, Screech –"

"No, Varric. I'm serious … it's not-" I cleared my throat and looked away, seeing that some of the others had gone quiet to look over at us as we conversed. Embarrassment flooded me, then. Just my damn luck. Misunderstandings! Sera looked grossed out. Solas was almost glaring at me with a calculating look on his face. I groaned, mortified. "Just call me out of my tent when it's my turn for watch."

"Joking! Haha, get it?" He called to me but I ignored him.

* * *

I don't know about their world, but where I come from … bears most certainly didn't appear out of nowhere in packs. I stared, face white as a sheet, as three bears had made their way into our camp. Just my luck that it would happen while I was on watch, too. I screeched and flew to my feet. My screech acted as an alarm, getting everyone out of their tents and battle ready.

Before I knew it, I was sitting atop a tree and clinging to the trunk for dear life. I don't even remember how I'd gotten up here, but I saw the last of the bears get killed by Cassandra as she let out a loud war cry. The three bears were dead, but I was still atop the tree clinging to it like a lifeline. My body was refusing to loosen up as I clung, shaking as my eyes darted around in the dark to make sure there were no more bears.

"What's wrong, Screechie, never seen a bear before?" Varric's voice floated through the air from just below me. I looked down at him and frowned, still refusing to let go of the tree.

"Fucking, BEARS!" I yelled, "They don't arrive in God damned packs where I'm from!" I was starting to sound hysterical.

"Any louder and you'll alert everyone within a mile of our location." Cassandra griped from her position over by the dead bears.

"Pfffft. Hahaha! She's scared of  _bears_." Sera was laughing, clearly having the time of her life as she pointed up into the tree at me. "Bears!" She made a loud roaring sound, trying to imitate one.

" _Shut up_ , Sera!" I couldn't even think of a good comeback at that moment.

They all started to get back to a semblance of normalcy while Lynn sat on the other side of the camp skinning the bears and storing the meat. Hah. Take that, bears.

I blinked, looking down at the ground. I was pretty far up, maybe about 20 feet. I started to slowly make my way down the branches.

"It's alright, girl. I'll catch ya, if need be." Blackwall added, not too far away from the tree that saved my life.

"I'm fine!" I bit back, "I don't need your-"

I was almost close to the bottom branch when my grip slipped, causing me to fall. As I tried to fumble for something, anything, my body just flailed as I hit the earth with a loud ' _ **THUD**_ '.

I groaned, my face in the dirt. I had belly flopped onto the ground, knocking the breath out of myself. I didn't have the strength to even screech or call for help.

I heard a sigh from the direction Blackwall was in, followed by the sound of plate armor moving as he walked.

"It's not hard to ask for help." The bearded Warden had rolled me over so that I was laying on my back. I squinted my eyes up at him.

"Fucking, bears." I cursed, trying to sit up. This was  _definitely_  leaving a mark in the morning.

"Do you find them … un _ **bear**_ able?" Sera asked as she cackled and ran into her tent.

"Fuck off!"

I'd never admit it myself, but the way she had commented had made me want to laugh. It reminded me of my sister back home. I think that's also a reason why I'd always kind of liked Sera, because she resembled my sister in some odd way. The way she threw puns around just now, to the pranks she pulled.

**Third Person**

She was buzzing with anxiety, he could tell. Cole was sitting out on a tree branch overlooking the camp and everyone had already went into their respective tents to sleep again. Lyn's thoughts were clouded by the fear she still felt, as she lay in her tent trying to sleep. Trying was the key word, here. The incident with the bears had really bothered her. He hadn't ever seen her move that fast before and it had startled him. He was right beside her when they'd appeared, ready to protect her. She was a ranged fighter and being that close would only serve to get her killed. But before he'd known it, she had disappeared up a nearby tree.

The current person on watch was sitting on a log, reading. It was Cassandra. He had been listening to her read, finding joy in the story it held. However, he'd been interrupted by Lyn's fear and anxiety. Her usually quiet thoughts and feelings seemed much louder than normal.

His eyes flicked over to her tent and he focused, hearing her still thinking about the bears and if there might be any others nearby. She was still awake, then. Deciding that it was time to help, he allowed his body to appear just outside the front of her tent. He lifted his half gloved hand and opened her tent flap, seeing her body freeze in her bedroll.

"You're still afraid." He stated softly, creeping in slowly he took a seat above her head near the entrance. Lyn immediately calmed, her anxiety from before forgotten. She was still laying down, but her head was lifted up and her eyes were on him. Her head was on the side of the tent where he had entered.

"I'm sorry, was I bothering you?" She asked, frowning up at him. Her brown eyes showed the concern she was feeling. Lyn always showed concern when they were alone, making him believe she really was a good person. She always had this serious look on her face and rarely ever smiled, but he knew that she  _did_  care. She just liked to make the others think she didn't. It was like she wanted to hide that from the others. Keep it to herself. Mostly. It seemed as though she wasn't even aware of her own actions, either. It wasn't hurting her, so he didn't bring it up. Cole shook his head, assuring her that she hadn't bothered him.

Usually when he went in to help people or heal their hurts, he had to say something or get them something to help them feel better. It was different with his friend, though. Just by being here, he could see her starting to relax and finally fall asleep.

"Don't... leave me..." She mumbled in her half-sleep state, rolling over and curling up.

"I won't." Cole replied, but he was sure she didn't hear him.

**First Person**

When I awoke, it was still dark outside but I felt as though I'd gotten a full night's sleep. Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I finally started to fully come to the conscious world. I was warm, I noted as I rubbed my eyes. Unnaturally so, to be honest. The tent was closed off and I'd known that it would help keep some of my body heat in, but this was actually kind of nice.

I felt shifting to my right, causing me to lift my head out of the blankets that I had buried myself in. My big brown eyes peered around and barely made out a seated form above my head.

"You're awake." Cole was sitting near the tent flap to my upper right, still in the same seated position as I'd seen him in when I fell asleep. Instantly I felt bad. I made him stay here, didn't I? With my stupid childish fears and inability to sleep. I'd camped numerous times before back in my world, I don't see how it – Well no. It  _was_  different, just …. those bears.

"You didn't have to stay, Cole." I muttered, "I would have been fine."

"It's okay. I don't sleep." He nodded, I noticed his hat was off and he hadn't bothered to take off his leather armor. His hat must have been giving him issues in the small tent that we currently resided in. It was narrow, and his hat was so wide that it just made sense that he'd taken it off. "You didn't want me to leave. Found it easier to fall asleep. Relax. I helped you."

"Right..." I wriggled my way out of the blankets and started to lace up my boots, which had been resting just outside of my tent. When my hands slipped through the flaps of the tent, some of the chilly air floated in and made me shiver. It was hard to maneuver in the tent without accidentally bumping into Cole. But I managed. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"No. I'm  _happy_  that I was able to help." He gave me a small smile as he went to grab his hat that was laying next to him. "You're my... friend."

I paused, looking over at him. This was different, I could feel myself brighten up at that. It was like confirmation that he thought of me as such. He saw me as a friend, and it was odd … the amount of cheerfulness I'd felt at such a simple phrase. I smiled contentedly, "Yes. Thank you."

I was rummaging around in my bag for my stuff when my hand bumped up against my bottle of honey. Something seemed to click in the back of my head as I let out a sinister grin. I grabbed the bottle and shoved it into my sweater pocket. Grabbing the gun that rested beneath my pillow, I put it into my other pocket.

I had a rogue to terrorize.

Crawling my way out of my tent quietly, I was greeted with the sight of Blackwall sitting by the fire. He'd turned his head and waved at me, which I returned rather lazily. I couldn't tell what kind of expression he was making at the moment, because his beard and mustache covered his mouth. I heard Cole shift out of the tent right after me as I made my way, creeping slowly toward Sera's tent not far away.

Blackwall looked shocked, for a moment, looking at me then back at Cole. He seemed to shake it off, though as he continued to watch me with a curious shine in his eyes. I crouched near Sera's tent, a grin making it's way to my face. Her shoes were sitting on the outside, just like mine had. But … I also saw Lynn's boots beside hers. Which gave me pause. They shared a tent? I could hear light snoring coming from the inside as I started to do my thing.

"What-" I snapped my head over toward Blackwall and held a finger to my lips, letting out a silent 'shh!'. His mouth was open, but he let no more noise come out. I then proceeded to pull out the bottle of honey from my pocket and started to squeeze a nice amount in each of Sera's shoes.

Trying hard not to cackle, I finished when half the bottle was almost empty and slinked off back toward my tent to put it away.

"Why did you do that?" I heard Cole's voice come from the flap of my tent. I looked back at him and smirked, his head was the only thing that was peeking in as he stayed outside.

"It was just a little...  _gift_. A thanks for dropping a bucket of water on my head." I nod sagely with a serious look on my face.

I started to lazily pack my stuff up, even my tent so that it was ready to go, and made my way to the fire to warm up. The three of us sat there for a few hours before everyone started to stir. Dawn was upon us as the sun started to peek it's way over the trees. The birds were starting to come out and I could hear them singing as I sat there and relaxed before everyone woke up. The sun was welcomed, as the air seemed to warm ever so slightly as we remained there in silence. The Hinterlands were beautiful, with all the greenery and wildlife (the wildlife that  _didn't_  want to kill you, that is). There was no litter laying about and definitely no sound of cars. It was refreshing.

Blackwall had seemed like he wanted to ask why I'd just drenched Sera's shoes in honey, shooting me curious glances here and there, but was probably just waiting to see how it turned out. I had, afterall, given him a look that said ' _don't ask_ '. He didn't. Good man, he is.

I was eventually awarded for my patience with a disgusted yell.

"Euuugh! Fuck. Piss. Shit!" I looked over and saw Sera with one shoe on, wiggling her leg as she tried to grab her shoe to take it off again. I tilted my head in question, why was she wiggling her leg like that? "Fricken ants! Who- Uuugh!"

I laughed, watching her throw her shoe onto the ground and start stomping around the outside of the tent.

"There's friggen ants everywhere!"

"What did I say about yelling? Do you want-" Cassandra had been on her way out of her own tent, her usual scowl on her face, but paused as she saw Sera stomping around on the ground like a madwoman.

"You're hurting the ants!" Cole popped in, but was promptly ignored.

"Are... are you alright, Sera?" The seeker seemed almost disturbed.

"My shoes are all sticky!" The blonde elf whined as she finally picked the other shoe up, seeing the mess I'd made in them. I was seated by the fire, slouched forward with an evil glint in my eye.

"What's wrong, Sera? Maybe they were attracted to your...  _sweet_  personality." I chuckled darkly, my hair still a mess and draping in my eyes a bit. She looked at me, realization dawning on her face.

"It's frigging honey. You're the only one that carries that shite around. You put honey in my shoes!" Sera yelled accusingly, while I smirked in response.

"Me?" I put a hand on my chest, "You  _Bee_ -lieve I'd do something like that?"

"Ugh, puns! Yours are  _ **horrible**_." She bit back.

"That  _stings_ , Sera. Right here, where my heart is supposed to be." I close my eyes, feeling satisfaction creep up. I'd gotten her back and it was totally worth it. She stomped off with both of her shoes in her hands, presumably toward the stream to wash them off.

It'd take awhile. Honey was always difficult to remove. I let out an evil chuckle.

"Damn, Screech. Didn't take ya for the suicidal type. You do realize shes going to want to get back at you." Varric spoke from his tent flap, though he looked almost as amused as I was.

"This is war!" I heard Sera's roar from the distance. I blinked lethargically as I looked toward the direction she'd ran off to. I'm not sure how to feel about that, to be honest. On one hand, she's good at this. On the other, I can get just as creative. We shall see how it turns out. I must have been smiling creepily, because I could have sworn I saw Varric shudder.

Blackwall sighed exasperatedly and I looked to him,

"Oh, come on. Don't be a  _buzz_ kill." Was my bland sounding reply.

This only brought more sighs from the others in the camp.


	7. Sparring and Sera's Revenge

When we got back from the mission, the story about my incident with the bears spread around the inner circle like wildfire. Apparently they thought it was hilarious that I was afraid of the massive furballs. Could you blame me? They were the size of the Grizzly bears back home and there were three of them.  _Three_. Bears. I was a ranged fighter! Not some badass with a sword. I'd die before I could even land an effective shot on anything, bear or not, if I tried to pick up a sword.

And since life liked to be unfair to me, it'd prompted Bull to try and toughen me up only days later. So I was standing here as he coached me on how to hold a sword. The thing felt way too heavy for me as I fumbled around with it in my hands. I was  _not_  used to holding a huge chunk of metal.

"Look, Bull. This isn't going to happen. I'm an archer. I don't do the whole slashy dashy dance routine you guys seem to have all figured out." I held it out with one hand and shrugged. Krem was standing across from me with his own sword out. I believe Bull thought it would have been too cruel if he was the one sparring against me. To which I agreed. I'm sorry, but I'd rather keep what's left of my poor face  _in tact._

"You need to learn some close ranged combat if you want to survive in this world, girl!" The Qunari called to me as we stood out behind the tavern. The way he yelled and ordered me around kind of reminded me of my disorderly uncle back home. I sighed and looked around at the upper courtyard. It seems this is a place where people liked to train, so I should just refer to this as the training yard, with the practice dummies. "Krem!"

"Yes, Chief!" He called, readying his sword. I scowled and tensed my body. They'd put me in this chainmail that weighed me down so that I could barely move. It sat beneath a borrowed tunic that I'd suspected was actually stolen, because it still smelled like sweat and dude. Not a good combination, might I add.

"Ready your weapons!" Bull ordered and I tried to hold it the way they'd showed me. Judging from the shaking of Cassandra's head from beside Bull, I was doing it all wrong. Fuck. I hated my life right now. "Whoever wins owes a round of drinks!"

_That's not fucking fair._

"You asshole, Bull!" I screeched as Krem happily dashed toward me. Big mistake, I'd let my guard down and he swung the hilt of his dulled practice sword and hit me in the stomach. I doubled over and dropped to my knees, letting out a loud grunt, sword still in my right hand. I looked up just in time to see Krem about to swing it down onto my back.

I really didn't want to get hurt, so I threw myself out of the way and completely abandoned my sword as a result. My body did a roll as I stumbled back onto my feet, unarmed.

Krem gave me a smirk. "When you buy me a drink tonight, maybe we can get to know eachother." He swung his sword in a circle, playing around with it. He was just showing off now, that assmunch! I frowned but stood there, body tense.

The Charger seemed to circle me for awhile, like a wolf playing with his prey, waiting for me to make a move toward my sword. I didn't, though. This was just too much, I couldn't even hold the damn thing and they threw me into a  _spar_? That doesn't even make sense!

My thoughts were interrupted when Krem lunged at me, sword aimed to slash at my leg. Adrenaline pumped through my body as I felt anger wash over me at the absurdity of this. Without really even thinking, I sidestepped the sword and lunged forward and threw my fist into his face. He stumbled back a bit, looking completely shocked. Maybe I  _wasn't_  supposed to do that? I was regretting not putting my short rusty hair into a small ponytail or something, because it was starting to get in my face. It was just passed my shoulders now and was usually in a wavy mess.

Before he could recover, I threw my right leg into the air and kicked his arm and making him drop his sword. One thing about me was that I am a good runner. Good runners have good legs, yeah? It was then that I did the stupidest thing imaginable. I tried to tackle Krem, and I was snarling like a rabid dog. Krem was, might I add, in full plate armor.

Needless to say, it was unsuccessful. He grabbed me by my arms and flipped me right over his shoulder and onto my back in the dirt. He'd followed through with it and was now holding me down, sitting on top of me. My breath was knocked out of me as I sat there and wheezed. How in the fuck did he move around so easily in all of that armor!?

"Get your fat ass off of me!" I growled, wriggling around. He was heavy as hell and there was no way I was budging. I sat there, with the meanest glare I could muster (It probably looked like I was squinting, though), laying in the dirt with my arms pinned above my head. Krem leaned forward into my face and smiled.

"I win."

"Tsk." I pushed my head forward and headbutted him, our foreheads knocked together and I let out a pained grunt. My body fell limp as the pain in my head made my vision spotty.

He started to laugh. He laughed!  _At me!_  I just headbutted him and he was laughing at me! I watched as he let go of me and stood up, offering his hand. Reluctantly, I grabbed it and allowed him to pull me into a standing position.

"You fight like a rabid Mabari hound. Thought you were gonna bite me there, for a second." His brown eyes showed amusement as he looked down at me. I huffed, glancing toward Bull. "Not that I would have complained..." I heard him mutter as I stomped away. I wholeheartedly believed he was just mocking me with those words, so it only served to make me even more irritated.

"Are you happy now?" I asked Bull as he looked down at me, arms crossed.

"Shit, I'm gonna have my work cut out for me." He stated with a slight smirk on his scarred face, shaking his head. His big ass horns waved around and I couldn't help but have my eyes drawn up toward them. They fascinated me and I'd always wondered what they felt like.

"Uuugh..." I walked away to get changed back into my own comfortable clothing. Maybe I should even wash myself off a little, I'm pretty sure I smelled rank. Then again, I worked with horses … I probably always smelled bad. That thought didn't seem to brighten my mood at all.

* * *

Later that evening I was sitting in my room, nursing the bruises I'd gotten from our spar out in the training area. I had to admit, Krem was really good. Though, I'm willing to bet he was going easy on me just to make it so that it was less embarrassing on my part. I started to feel bad for being such a surly bitch to them, now. They'd only wanted to help.

I can't help it sometimes! Didn't I mention that I had anger issues? Looking down at the cloth filled with snow in my hand, I thought that maybe I could at least thank them by actually buying the drinks. Sure, I hadn't agreed but it was the least I could do. Standing up, I grabbed my silver pouch and emptied a lot of it out into my top drawer of my dresser. I then stuffed the rest into my back pocket. I didn't make much, but this would take quite a dent out of my savings.

My boots made a clunking noise as I made my way down the last staircase. The sounds of laughing could be heard along with talking from the other patrons. The lady was singing a soft tune as she strummed her instrument. I stood at the bottom of the staircase, turning my gaze over to Iron Bull. He was currently sitting at a table with the rest of his Chargers.

Now I'm assuming they usually relax together like this after a long day. At least I can get this all over with in one shot. He did say 'a round of drinks'.

"Well well, if it isn't little Screechie." Krem used Varric's nickname. It kind of stuck and people started to use it every now and again. My lips thinned as I walked up to the table and threw my money pouch in the middle of it. It made a little ' _ **thud**_!' as it rolled and a few coppers and silvers popped out.

"I lost. Here's for the drinks I owe you guys." Was my simple answer as I flicked my brown gaze around to examine their expressions. The blonde haired elven woman let out a delicate sounding laugh as she looked up at me. A few of the others seemed to have perked up at my statement. Krem was giving me an approving nod.

"You didn't have to actually do it, you know." The blonde one smiled at me, "Not that I'm complaining, though."

"Yeah!" Bull yelled happily, "Round of drinks over here, Cabot!" He called over his shoulder toward the bartender.

Krem motioned to the seat right next to him, patting his hand on it for emphasis. Bull was on the side closest to the wall,  _taking up two chairs_. I walked over and sat on the other side of him, head resting on the table as I held the improvised icepack on my stomach.

"How's your stomach?" I turned my head to the side, hair moving away just enough for me to make out Krem's expression as he looked down at me. He seemed, dare I say, almost concerned for me.

"Feel's like shit." I replied and sat back up. He was sporting a small bruise on the side of his face from where I punched him.

"Gotta say, your swordsmanship sucks ass. But you're fast as hell and know how to throw a mean punch." I didn't know whether to feel offended or flattered.

The sound of clinking could be heard as some tankards were set in front of all of us, including me. I stared at it with a confused look on my face. I had never drank alcohol before and didn't plan on starting. Alcohol had been the reason for many of the shitty stuff that happened in my past.

I lazily watched the barmaid walk away from the table, her outfit seemed to accentuate her hips and small waist. Hmm.

"Now this is what I'm talking about." The dwarf in the corner said as he started to laugh. Some of the others joined in and started downing their drinks. Soon enough, they were back to talking to one another. Sharing stories and experiences. I payed them no mind.

"What's the matter, you a lightweight?" Iron Bull laughed, downing his all in one go. I pushed the thing away from me with the back of my hand.

"I don't drink." I puffed a breath of air out and put my makeshift icepack on the table.

"There's always a reason for something, Screech." Krem grabbed it happily and muttered something along the lines of 'more for me...'

I shrugged my shoulders, eyes downcast. "Something about not being in control of my own actions. It gets to me." I lied as I tilted my head to the side and looked over at Bull and his lieutenant. The Qunari didn't look like he believed me one bit, but seemed to let it go. Reasons. I wondered how many of them had been dealt shit hands. No doubt some (if not all) of the Chargers had much worse lives than me. I didn't want to sound like a sniveling child in front of them. But ah, it's not what  _has happened_  that matters. It's how you choose to live life afterward.

"Hmmmm... I do like a woman who's in control." Krem smiled down at me. I scowled, looked at him and tried to hide the hurt expression that was threatening to force its way to my face. We were done sparring, he didn't  _have_  to mock me anymore. Because there was absolutely no way someone would even attempt to flirt with me, of all people. It had to be a joke.

I snorted and looked down at the table before standing up. I grabbed my icebag and stuffed it in my pocket and walked away.

I had walked all the way out to the barn, next to the stables. Sitting in the loft upstairs, I sat down next to the three kittens that made it their home. They recognized me and came hopping up. I sat there, quietly, as I let them crawl all over my body. One had made itself comfortable in my lap, while another climbed it's way up onto my shoulder.

The other one was rolling around on the ground as I used a piece of straw to play. They were so fluffy and I'd already made myself comfortable here so I just laid down and ended up drifting off to sleep with kittens curling up next to me.

* * *

I woke up that morning feeling stiff and full of hay particles. I was curled up on my side as I opened my eyes, groggily. There was a small ball of fur on the side of my head, purring. I could feel the other two curled up by my stomach.

"Sorry, guys. Gotta go to work." Grunting, I stood up and stretched the kinks out of my body. Well, the ones I could anyway. That day started out like usual, cleaning the stalls and giving the horses their hay. I even brushed a few of them, thinking they needed an extra grooming session. It was funny, because right at this moment, the horses were better groomed than I was. I stood there, brushing them and checking their legs for bumps. And here I was, hay and straw still sticking out of my hair as I let out a tired yawn.

"Hey, kid." I heard a deep tone, making me turn my head away from the horse I was working on. A tanned old man stood there with his arms crossed, watching me work. "You're out here every day, why don't you take the day off. Even the other stablehands get more free time than you."

"I'll be fine, Master Dennet Sir." I mutter as I turn back around and continue to brush the tall mammal. He let out an annoyed grunt.

"Stubborn kids." He grumbled, "Go on! Get!"

I rose a brow in his direction, seeing the serious look on his face. He stood there for a few minutes before I sighed and started to put my stuff away.

"Fine fine... don't have a stroke. Jeez."

* * *

And now I'm sitting in at the Herald's Rest with nothing to do. I glare at the wall behind Cabot, the bartender. I'd ordered some bread and jerky, which was currently sitting on a plate in front of me untouched. I  _could_  go practice with my bow outside, but decided against it. I will do that tonight. It was kind of a routine. Help at stables, practice with bow. Blah blah. I wondered when they were going to go out and scout somewhere, perhaps I could tag along? Again. This time I knew to watch out for the wildlife.

The wildlife here is much more … hostile, than the wildlife back home. I sighed.

"Hey, you." I heard Sera greet from my left. She sat down next to me and smiled. "Usually you're out there with those smelly horses. Why're you up here?"

"Master Dennet gave me the day off. I have no clue what to do." I shrug, picking at my fingernails.

"Why don'tcha have a drink with me, then? Take a load off."

"But I don't drink." I stated rather blandly.

"I know, I heard. Just have some orange juice or some shite. I don't care!"

I rose a brow, watching as the bartender handed her two mugs. Why was she being nice to me? I'd have thought she would be angry or something from what I'd done at camp about three days ago. She handed me my drink and we sat there in silence for a minute or two, just drinking.

"So you use the bow, huh? Not too bad. Could use some work, though." Sera comments offhandedly, "Bows are great, yeah?"

"I've practiced since I was small. Apparently that's not enough around here." I snort, downing the rest of my orange juice. "But the bow  _is_  a nice weapon."

"It's funny because it's like stabbing, but from long distances!" She giggled evilly, "Haven't practiced  _enough_ , I say. Keep goin at it and you'll be kicking arse in no time."

"Why are you being nice to me? I put honey in your shoes." My lips twitch at the memory. She only shrugs in response. Whatever, I'll take what I can get. She was still sitting there ordering drinks for herself 10 minutes later while I finished the small amount of food in front of me. I started to feel... odd. Well, odd doesn't seem to even sum it all up. I don't even know how to begin to explain what I was feeling. My heart rate had picked up and I felt … fuzzy.

**Third Person**

"Uhhh... Screech? What're you doing to that wall?" Varric had walked into the Herald's Rest and was now standing next to the wavy haired girl. Lyn was seated on a stool but was facing said wall, staring intently like it held life's answers. He saw her turn toward him, her hair seemed messier than usual as she locked gazes with the dwarf. Her eyes were dilated and her face was flushed.

"I talked to them but they didn't answer." She whispered in a shocked tone with wide eyes. She then turned back to the wall and started to caress it with her fingertips. It kinda looked like she was a cat, her eyes big and full of wonder.

"Iiiii'm not sure if I want to know what's going on here." Varric answered honestly, taking a few steps back.

"Funny, right? Thought she needed to loosen up a bit." Sera chuckled, looking at her handiwork.

"What did you do?" The dwarf wasn't sure if he'd like the answer, as he stood beside the blonde elf. Lyn was still looking at the wall and would sometimes even nod, as if answering someone. He noted the pieces of hay or straw sticking out of her hair.

"Oh nothing.  _Really_. Just put something in her drink. No biggie!"

Their conversation halted when they heard Lyn start to giggle evilly. They'd hardly ever heard her laugh before, so it was almost unsettling. As they turned to look at her, they saw her jog by in a grey blur.

"Hehehehe." She grabbed the door handle to the tavern and threw it open. The light poured in and they could see that she was wearing … Cole's hat.

"What-" Varric was startled when he saw Cole appear right behind her. He looked like he wanted to grab her, but paused as she turned around and giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Lyn, what are you doing with my hat?" Cole had asked as he looked down at her. His blonde hair was messed up, like someone had ruffled it on purpose.

"Shhhh... I'm invisible." She whispered none so quietly and darted out the door and to the right. Varric felt his eye twitch as he peered back at Sera, who was still laughing her ass off.

"Andraste's ass, what have you done?"

"T-Totally worth it." Shaking his head, he ran up to Cole and put his hand on his arm.

"Hey, Kid. Let's go and make sure she doesn't hurt herself."

"What's wrong? Thoughts muddled. Hazy. Can't see. Can't hear. She's not  _her_. Is she  _possessed_?" Cole sounded almost scared at that last thought. The spirit started to fiddle with his hands, almost nervously as he stared in the direction his friend had gone.

"No,  _no_. Sera drugged her. She's high out of her mind right now."

"She's where?"

Varric sighed, "Just come on." They walked out of the tavern and up the stairs at the right. Once they got to the top, they saw the door to Cullen's office open and could hear her talking to him in rushed sentences.

"Yeah! And where I'm from, they write these stories. About you and Dorian. I mean  _I don't read them or anything_  but other girls do. They're too smutty for my tastes." Instead of the usual dull tone her voice held, it sounded with much more emotion. They walked into his office just in time to see Lyn grinning like an idiot as she looked down at Cullen, who was seated at his desk. She was currently standing on top of his paperwork … which was on his desk.

"S-smutty?" Cullen choked, face turning completely red.

"Yeah. Because sex. They've got good imaginations. Sometimes it's on your desk. Other times you're all chained up in bed. It's quite the mental image."

Varric started to feel secondhand embarrassment for the poor girl. Maybe even a little for Cullen.

"Hey, Screech. Come down from there." He tried to order, waving his hand. She looked over at Varric and smiled.

"You're lucky. I haven't seen any about you.  _Yet_."

And thank the Maker. The dwarf didn't want to know what he would have done if she started going off about the fiction in her world. If there even was a 'her world' to begin with, that is. They still weren't sure that she was completely telling the truth. But she's stayed with the same story consistently everytime it's come up, so far.

"Maker's breath..." Cullen breathed, standing up. "I-I...need some air." He then promptly exited through the door furthest from her.

"He's a virgin, huh?" She asked as she jumped down, stumbling as she did so.

"What's a virgin?" Cole asked, tilting his head. She tilted her own, mirroring Cole's confused expression, his floppy hat seemed big on her. Well, bigger than it was on  _him_.

"Someone who hasn't had sex." She must have saw him about to ask another question, "Ask Varric. He probably has books about that stuff!"

"Varric..."

"No!" He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Eventually they were able to get her back to her room. At least this way she wouldn't bother anyone. Though, on the way back she wouldn't stop staring at people. She'd stop and just stare at them, making them visibly uncomfortable, before walking forward to the insistence of Varric.

**First Person**

When I opened my eyes the next day, it felt like they were sizzling like eggs on a pan. The sunlight pierced through my window and seemed to gouge my eyes out in the process. I groaned and threw the blankets over my head.

It was then, that yesterday's events started to slowly come back to me. I hadn't blacked out, no. But my judgment and everything had been … dulled. I acted purely based on what I was thinking at that moment. Which is never a good thing, mind you. Mortification inched it's way into my body.

Never do drugs, kids. Because I just made a total ass out of myself.

"Fuck." I cursed, throwing my blankets off of my body and sitting up. I was dizzy for a moment but dealt with it. After minutes of sitting there, the sunlight didn't feel like it was pulling my eyes out of my sockets anymore. But it still hurt. A lot. Is it possible to feel like this after you get high out of your mind? I didn't even know what the bitch slipped me!

I growled. I knew exactly how I was going to get back at that blonde elf. I should have known she was being too nice. It was almost too good to be true. Guess I learned that the hard way.

* * *

During my off time that day, I'd collected green plants and vegetables from the kitchen. That night when the cooks had gone to bed, I occupied said kitchen and started to dice up everything and grind it together into a paste. I sure as hell hoped this worked.

Needless to say, Sera woke up the next morning tied to the tree outside of the tavern with a bowl upside down on her head. A sticky green substance had made it's way down her face and neck. It'd been there for awhile and was now drying. She slowly started to come around into the conscious world when people poked her with a stick.

I may or may not have gotten help from Bull. I sat in the tavern at the table with him, trying my hardest not to grin. Instead I settled with having an evil glint in my eye as I stared at the door when I heard Sera start screaming from the tree outside.

"I owe you one, Bull." I mentioned, still looking at the door.

"No problem, Kid." He was counting the rest of my savings on the table before him. He was a mercenary, afterall. So … I hired him. Just not for the usual thing he was hired for. "If you ever need me to kick someone's ass, I'm your man. Just remember that." I nodded in response.

"If I paid you enough, would you put on a dress and dance around in the courtyard?" I asked, genuinely curious. I'd haggled with him earlier and eventually he'd conceded when I gave him enough silvers. I think he was just doing that, though. I saw the amusement in his eye when I told him what I wanted to do. The silvers just sweetened the deal.

"I doubt they make dresses big enough for me. But … that depends on how much you're talking about."

I snorted, covering my mouth with my hand to hide my smile.

Eventually Sera stomped inside and up to her room to grab some new clothing. The bowl was no longer on her head, but her hair was green and crusty looking. Some of the mixture had even dribbled down her face in the process. On her way down to head to the bathhouse, I waved and added

"What's the matter, Sera? You're looking a little …  _green_. Are you sick?"

The only response I got was her flipping me off before she slammed the door to the Herald's Rest.

* * *

Sera spent the next week with green hair. Which was my intent, actually. Well, maybe not the  _week_  part. I was only expecting the stuff to stain her blonde hair for a few days. I made a note to look at all the ingredients I'd used for future reference, because one of them had caused it to stay for a week. Good stuff. She was angry at first but had commented that no one ever bothered to prank her back. I'm hoping that she was complimenting me genuinely, not just because she wanted to do something evil to humiliate me. I had a horrible feeling that the next time she got back at me, it would be much  _much_  worse. I groaned, plopping backward on my bed.

It was dark outside and I'd just had a busy day. Lynn and a couple of her companions had just gotten back from their mission. Cole had been with them, so that was another reason why I'd had to occupy my time with terrorizing Sera.

I was silently grateful he had to go on a mission after I'd stolen his hat and ran around like an idiot on crack. I wonder if I scared him. I sat there for awhile on my bed, enjoying the feeling of relaxing my sore muscles.

"The kittens miss you. Sometimes they wander around looking. But you're not there. You haven't visited them in awhile." I heard Cole say from the foot of my bed. Oh?

"So you know what the kittens are thinking?"

"Sometimes." I'd started to get used to him just popping up out of nowhere by now. I've been here for months, helping out around Skyhold and working under Master Dennet. I thought I would be worrying everyday about getting home. To my world. But Cole has made it bearable. He's also the reason why I'm even having fun with Sera and Bull.

I was, dare I say, finding the companionship that I longed for. Even though said companionship sometimes resulted in pranks and getting drugged up. I found it …  _fun_.

"Shall we go see the kittens, then?" I offered, earning a nod in return. We got up and made our way out of my room, through the tavern and outside. It was dark out, the clouds in the sky making the moon pretty much nonexistent. I'd have expected Cole to just disappear and wait for me in the barn, but he was actually walking with me this time. Even though his feet made no noise, so it seemed... That was nice, because I would have been stumbling around if it weren't for him. I stayed close by as we made our way into the barn and up the stairs.

I sat down on the floor of the loft above the barn, hay and straw completely covered the side we were on. I heard mewling coming from the hay pile and one by one the fluffy little furballs came running out to greet us. Cole had, at some point, taken a seat next to me. But I smiled and started to play with the kittens, making cooing noises as I held them at times.

One of them reminded me of my cat back at home. They'd grown much more, so I could distinguish certain features special to them. The one I'd taken a liking to was the black fluffy one. My cat at home was the same and I'd named her Kitler. As for this kitten? I hadn't even named them, because I wasn't even sure how long they'd even be allowed to stay up here before they were considered pests and thrown out.

I was interrupted from our play as a small book was placed next to my knee. I blinked a few times, moving my hand to brush the top of it.

"What's this?" I asked, trying to see if there was any print on it. It was obviously a book, but I didn't know what it was about or what it was for. It was bound between dark thick leather, a small leather string was attached at the back which would allow me to close it and tie it shut.

"It's a sketch book." He'd said as I picked it up to look at it closer. The dim light that was offered from the torches barely did me any justice. I was able to see it, though. I flicked my gaze back over to Cole, who was just sitting there watching me.

"How'd you know I … liked to draw?" I didn't remember ever saying anything about the fact that I liked to sketch or draw. So this came as a surprise to me. I could feel warmth starting to creep it's way into my chest as I moved my fingers gently across the leather bindings.

"Hand twitches. Itching in the back of your mind. Wanting. Needing.  _'His smile lit up his face and it was … beautiful.'_ You wanted to draw … me." The way he'd worded it made my face turn red, maybe even purple. He'd  _heard_ that? I could have sworn he was too occupied with the kittens to … to –

I held the sketch book up and covered half my face with it, my brown eyes peeking shyly over the top. God this is – was. I could practically feel my brain scrambling itself in my skull.

"T-thank you..." I mumbled after awhile, finally able to pull the book down from my face. My face was still hot, though, indicating that I was indeed still blushing like an idiot. I looked down at it with a soft smile on my face. "This means a lot to me."

"I know." Was the short answer I'd gotten, his piercing blue gaze slightly hidden beneath his blonde hair. I smothered the urge that I'd gotten just now, to brush his hair away from his eyes. I didn't understand why I'd even gotten that urge. Contact with people always kind of repulsed me. But … Cole was different. In some way. I didn't know how, but he was.

"Alright then, sit still right there." I stood up and sat so that the light was on my back, he looked back at me curiously. I opened the book, seeing a small pencil stuffed in the leather. It wasn't as good as the pencil I had up in my bag, but it would do. Just this once.

Back at home I had actually gotten pretty good at drawing. I'd draw things that ranged from portraits to animals to landscapes. I'd even drawn cartoons at some point. It was the one thing that I was actually  _good_  at. Something that I'd enjoyed. I'd have thought I would have gotten rusty after all these years, but my hand flew across the front page expertly. Remembering. Occasionally I'd flick my gaze up to get a look at him and make sure to put certain features on the page in front of me.

It was simple, only a bust shot. The sketch was quick, trying to get the important things put in there. His long sleeved shirt, the patch on his shoulder, the frayed ends. Even the small holes in his hat. I sat there for awhile, as if in a trance as I moved my hands across the page. A few times I had to pull my hunting knife out of my back pocket to sharpen the pencil but continued on to the more delicate details. Shading was always the most difficult part.

It seemed like hours before I was even close to complete as I set the sketchbook down and sat up straight, cracking my back in the process.

"That's as done as I'll get. I can complete the rest later." I sighed.

"That's me." Cole commented as I saw him crouched in front of my book. His hand lingered above it as he stared down at it, his eyes trailing all over the page. It was simple, but I had somehow been able to capture the curious look he had been giving me at the time. He smiled and looked up at me, "Thank you."

I couldn't help my own smile that slowly inched it's way onto my face in response.


	8. An Unfortunate Predicament

The days around here seemed to pass by so fast, making me wonder why it hadn't done so in the past. Back in my world, that is. Everyday used to seem like a chore, barely able to drag my body out of bed and outside of the basement I'd lived in. When I'd first come here, I fumbled around not knowing where I belonged. Much the same as it was back home. Not knowing what it was that I was supposed to do. I was here. And this was now. I couldn't let myself dwell on the past, but instead hope for the best.

Hope. Another word that I felt. It was dangerous here, sure, but it was finally starting to feel like I … belonged somewhere.

I sat in front of the Hart that Lynn liked to ride and stared at her. She stared back at me, lazily eating the oats I'd just given her. Master Dennet had been completely baffled when I'd first approached the large mammal like it was nothing. I had pet her and groomed her, not knowing at all that she was a finicky beast that had sent several stablehands to the infirmary over the weeks since she'd arrived. But she didn't seem to mind me. Animals never really did. There were even times back home when a dog that was chained up and considered 'dangerous' would simply allow me to sit next to it and pet it. Needless to say, I'd almost given my aunt a heart attack when she walked out to see my little stubby child-self sitting next to a dangerous dog.

" _You have a knack for animals, kid." Master Dennet had said, "Maybe I can make something out of you yet."_

I ate an apple leisurely, wondering what exactly he'd meant by that. He'd gone on about being too old to be around Skyhold and whatnot. I'd listened to him, as I continued on with my work. It didn't bother me. In fact, I actually liked working with the horses. Being around them soothed me, in a way. It reminded me of my aunt's farm, where I'd lived for 6 years of my childhood. The only place that had created  _good_  memories, really. I was young, and my aunt liked to spoil me so she'd bought me some horses. I was in charge of keeping them healthy. And I did.

I smiled behind my apple as I stared up at Lynn's Hart. I could tell from the look she was giving me, that she wanted the juicy fruit in my hand.

"Fine fine." I sighed, standing up and holding it out to her with my palm flat. She devoured it happily. After it was gone, I stepped back a small distance and wiped my hands on my pants. I stood there for awhile with my eyes shut, remembering the good times at my aunt's house.

"You're really good with those horses. Ever cared for them before?" I opened my eyes and gazed over at the Grey Warden as he stood at the entrance to the stable. I offered a nod,

"I used to care for animals of all types when I was younger. It's almost second nature for me, now." I responded blandly. I could hear his heavy boots on the ground as he walked up beside me to look at the horned beast in front of me standing in the stall.

"Dennet speaks highly of you. Even refers to you by name." Blackwall spoke, looking up at Lynn's Hart.

"We hardly ever talk." I responded as I watched as the Hart nipped over at the Warden in warning, almost getting him in the beard. He steps back and laughs.

"No need to. You're good at what you do, simple as that."

"Thanks... I guess." I didn't know how to respond to it. I hardly ever got compliments and when I did I found them hard to accept. Though I didn't want to offend the man, so I had conceded. I lifted my small hand and ran it through her fur. She craned her neck toward me and nibbled at my pockets, probably looking for another apple. I snorted, "You're so greedy.."

With one last pat, I backed away and put my hands in my jacket pockets. "Was there anything you needed, Blackwall?"

"The Inquisitor told me to get the horses ready. She's heading out soon with a party." He sighed, "Should I – "

"Nah, I've got it. Who's all going? I can get them saddled up and ready within the half hour." I waved him off, pulling out a piece of stolen beef jerky (he wouldn't know that now, would he?) and started to gnaw on it.

He'd told me that Lynn, Bull, Dorian, Varric and Cole were going off back to Crestwood for something. After he was done informing me he turned around and left. After Hawke had stopped by, I'd caught a glance of him, more commotion had been going on. Tensions had been high between Cassandra and Varric those few days, but Lynn had been a good mediator. As I got the last horse saddled up and ready, I wondered if they would mind that I tag along.

I looked over when I heard the doors to the stable close, "Hello, Inquisitor." I smirked. She rose a brow and tilted her head, probably wondering why I was being so formal.

"Alright... what do you need?" She sighed. She knew me well. Almost too well, my eyes glinted with mischief.

"Oh, you know. The usual." I shrugged, shaking my head. "To tag along with you guys. I'm sure Dennet would like a break from my  _wonderful_  company." I was referring to the fact that I was almost always found in the stables, either working or just generally hanging out.

It felt much easier to talk to the woman, because of how easy going she was. Lynn was a really nice person and kept her people in check with a firm but gentle hand. That, I believed, was a good quality for a leader. She looked deep in thought for a second before finally nodding.

"Why not. We cleared out most of the danger last time we were in Crestwood." She walked up to her Hart and started to give her some love, running her thin little fingers through the hair near the ears. The Hart's ears flicked as she lowered her head for more. "As for Dennet, it's quite the contrary. He was speaking to me about you the other day."

"Oh?" What was with people and hearing about these things before me? Then again, I didn't make the best conversational partner, so I didn't blame the old man for not talking to me first.

"Mhmm. Something about training you in to be his protege." Lynn looked over to me as I stood, hands in my jacket. She couldn't be serious. "He said he's getting too old to play soldier and wants to go back to his family, eventually."

She was serious.

"So I'm going to be a glorified stablehand?"

"A glorified stablehand that has underlings." Lynn cackles and I snort in response.

"Sera is rubbing off on you." I shake my head as I walk up to another stable to start getting my own horse ready. I would just run to grab my bag after I was done.

"In all seriousness, though … what did you do before this?" She asked. My hands stilled as I was fixing the strap to the bridle. No one has really ever asked me about my life before all of this, so I was a little startled.

"I... was a college student." I mumbled, going back to fixing the strap in my hand. "I was going to a school to become a police officer."

"Officer? Do you mean like the military?" I'd have thought she would sound suspicious, but I didn't hear any. I did a quick body check on the horse and began to put the saddle on.

"No. We regulate the laws and help the citizens in our communities. Basically, I would have worked for civilians to make sure they didn't fuck shit up." I grunt as I pull the strap tighter, then go to adjusting  _more_  straps.

"So kind of like a city guard." I make a sound of affirmation and step away, viewing my handiwork.

"I never got the chance to finish, though." I turned my gaze over to her and tilted my head, "I woke up face first in some snow. Kinda changed things."

Not much was said after that, so I'd taken off to grab my things. I'd been presented with a few pieces of clothing from this world a week or so ago. Not to mention Josephine had those pants that I'd requested, so I swiftly changed into something else. These pants weren't much different from my own, but instead of being made out of jean material they were a sturdy kind of cloth. They were a little weird and obviously made for a man, but they fit just fine with a belt. At least with this tunic (which came down to my mid thigh)with a cool belt, I'd fit in. Somewhat. My pants still looked weird as hell. But I wasn't going to sacrifice my pockets for style. I needed those.

By the time I was back, they were all waiting on me. I hadn't taken that long, but I shrugged it off and hopped on my trusty steed. I'd packed light, only taking an extra pair of clothing and a few little things. Like … my sketchbook. I carried that thing around whenever I could, just to have it. If the urge to draw itched in the back of my head again, I'd be prepared. It was small enough to be set in my cargo pocket on my thigh, but when we rode I simply kept it in my bag.

I'd heard them speaking to eachother as we walked along on our horses, but as usual I simply kept quiet. They didn't seem to mind, but would sometimes ask me a question or two. I kept my responses short and sweet.

Lynn wanted to make a run to Crestwood to get some things from the village that wasn't offered at Skyhold. That wasn't the only reason, though. It was just an excuse to get out and clear the roads of bandits. With low amounts of manpower being directed toward getting ready for some attack, they couldn't spare any Inquisition soldiers to help out.

So Lynn volunteered, much to the reluctance of her advisors.

Bandits were easy to dispatch, much as I'd hate to admit it. Even  _I_  had a relatively easy time helping out. I stayed a distance away and shot arrows next to Varric, trying not to look at the dead bodies as we walked by. Don't get me wrong, I'm not much of a queasy person. But … killing was not a normal thing where I am from. Give me a break, okay?

The day was going on just fine, but then … a giant appeared. Well, maybe not appeared. More like got angered because Bull got excited and bumrushed the thing and started to chop at it's legs. I stood there, a flat look in my eye as the rest of us were forced on ahead to help.

"Such a passionate man, he is!" Dorian commented happily as he casted a few shield spells on the rogues and warrior on the front lines. I never got used to the way magic looked here. Again, another thing not in my world so sue me. It was beautiful, really. The way the fire seemed to dance across his arms and up his staff as he focused his attack. The fire would then blast off toward the giant and explode in it's face.

"So... what are we supposed to do? Just sit here and hack at it's legs long enough until it falls to eye level?" I drawled, feeling a little anxious at being around such a large monster. It let out a bellow as it fell down onto it's knees, making the ground around us shake. My heart sped up and I kept my eyes out, just in case I needed to run.

"That's generally the plan, Screech." Varric said from beside me. He was firing at a higher rate than I was, since he was much more experienced with fighting. My arrows would sometimes miss, but usually hit in the general area I'd aimed.

I still jumped everytime I saw it swing it's bulky arms in the direction of my friends, thinking they'd get hurt.

"I bet it's why he doesn't use a melee weapon. The poor man would be hacking at everyone's legs all the time." Dorian quipped from the other side of me, casting a barrier again. Varric groaned,

"Sure sure, make fun of the dwarf." He'd responded in an exasperated tone. I heard him mumble some things and could have sworn I heard him call Dorian an 'asshole'. I tried not to smirk, but I did anyway.

"Oh, you too? Andraste's tits..."

"Sorry, Varric. It was funny." I watched as the giant fell limply to the ground after a rather deadly blow was dealt from Bull. The ground shook again, causing me to shiver.

* * *

On our way to find a place to set camp for the night, I heard Bull and Varric talking. As per usual, I started to listen in.

"Hey, don't most dwarves have beards? Or at least mustaches or something?" Bull asked the dwarf.

"I make up for it elsewhere." Was his answer. I felt my face go pale at the thought, I did  _not_  need to know that. I only hope he was talking about his chest hair. Please. Please.

"I'll be up here … gouging my eardrums out." I grumbled, making my horse go forward and next to Lynn. Bull and Varric both started to laugh at my expense, to which I tried to ignore. Yep, not talking about chest hair. From the way they bust out into laughter, I almost believe they did it on  _purpose_. Just to get a reaction. Those fucking mental images...

* * *

When we finally made camp, Lynn was roasting a few fish from a nearby lake that she'd caught. I was sitting in the dirt near the fire, staring up at the sky. The stars were barely able to be seen, as it was a bit cloudy. But it was nice.

"Do they ever stop talking to you?" I heard Cole ask from across the fire. Keeping my eyes up on the stars, I listened in.

"Nouns, Kid. Does who ever stop talking to me?" Was Varric's response.

"The people in your head. They aren't real, but they have voices and thoughts, and sometimes you see through their eyes." He elaborated. Well … that was certainly an interesting way of putting it, that's for sure.

"If they stopped, I wouldn't have to write so much!" He'd replied and began talking about his writing. Soon enough, it came down to him telling Cole a story. Taking my gaze off of the stars, I looked across the fire and saw them. I didn't know where the Iron Bull was or Dorian for that matter, but from the rumors I'd been hearing I didn't want to even think about what they could be doing out in the woods. Alone.

Taking my mind off of that, I took in the scene before me with a tilted head. Varric was sitting on a log, talking animatedly and moving his hands as he told one of his more popular stories. Cole was sitting in the dirt, staring up at Varric in wonder. The light from the fire highlighted their faces as they sat there. Hand twitching, I dug in my pack at my side and pulled out my book and started to sketch.

It didn't take me long to get the base sketch done, knowing I could get the more minute details in later. No one seemed to notice me as I sat on the ground near the fire and drew in my leather sketchbook.

As usual, I was first watch. Thankfully no bears arrived this time, though, so it was mostly uneventful. I slept like a log that night, not waking up until tiny flecks of light could be seen barely coming out from under my tent. It was dawn, I realized, as I started to get ready for the day.

Making sure the safety was on, I placed my gun in my back pocket alongside my hunting knife. When I exited the tent, the cool morning air hit me and I let in a deep breath. It was nice and crisp, but not too cold. Even so, I made my way over to the fire and sat down. Bull had made himself comfortable and was the last one on watch for the night.

We sat in silence for awhile before he decided to ask me a question,

"So, are you really from another world or is that some bullshit story you came up with?" He had asked, though there was no malice in his words. They didn't offend me, no. I was shocked, though. It was a subject that was rarely ever touched, if at all, when I was around them.

"I don't see why I'd have to keep the story going if it weren't true." I commented, poking the fire with a stick that had been sitting in front of me.

"So if, hypothetically, this world was real. What's it like?" Was Bull usually this talkative in the mornings? God I feel bad for Dorian. I rubbed the eye boogers out of my eyes and sighed.

"Well …. I don't know where to start, really."

"What are the people like?"

"Just like the ones here. Though, there are no Dwarves, Elves or Qunari. Just humans." I glared at the fire, "No magic or dragons."

"Your world sounds like shit." He laughed, leaning forward so that his arms were resting on his legs.

"You're telling me..." I agreed, "There is good and bad in my world, just like this one. We thrive off of technology instead of magic and all that shit you have here." I offered a shrug.

"You lost me at te... tech. Whatever." I frowned, eyes sliding halfway shut. God did I miss home. Sure there wasn't much for me to go back to, people wise. But I really missed being able to drive a car and use a flushing toilet. And oh Lord, pizza.  _I missed pizza._

"Just think of it this way. We are more advanced. Weapons, standard of living, all of that. The weapons you guys use are almost considered archaic. Everything has been improved through mechanics and engineering. It's kind of complicated to explain...That wasn't exactly  _my_  area of expertise."

"I see..." I wasn't sure if Bull even believed me, but talking about home made me feel a bit better. Just a little. Though it also forced me to think about all the shit I didn't have here, compared to over in my world. Shifting, I stood up and turned around.

"I'm... going for a walk...Thanks for the talk. It's been awhile since I thought of home." I mumbled back at him, walking away without waiting for an answer. I needed some time alone to think.

* * *

I made my way through the trees and stopped to sit on a rotten log. To put things simply, I was … torn. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go back anymore, because I had people here that seemed to care about me. The only benefits of me leaving would be my comfort of living in a cleaner and safer place. I smiled sadly.

I heard shifting to my right, making me freeze. I happened to look over just in time to see four men strolling through the woods I'd walked into. I paled, seeing the weapons that they'd had. Not only that, but two of them looked to be mages, one archer and one dual wielding rogue. They were in some fancy looking armor, but their helmets were held at their sides. I carefully crouched and put myself onto the ground, belly almost flat in the dirt. The grass tickled my chin as I crawled toward some underbrush to hide myself. The ground beneath me was wet with morning dew as I slid my hands through the grass and finally pulled myself underneath a patch of bushes.

Perhaps if I waited long enough they'd just move on? I had been circling camp out here in the woods during my walk, so I'd left on the other side of camp. I knew how to navigate really well out in this kind of terrain, finding it almost welcoming.

"Where is he? Said we'd meet back up in an hour." One of them grumbled. They'd stopped just 10 feet from where Iwas laying. ' _Fuck_ ' I mouthed, glaring up through the heavy brush. I could hardly make out what they looked like, but they most certainly did not look like bandits. They started talking in low voices and I could only make out a few things here and there. They were talking about the Inquisition and how their party had been spotted in the area.

My eyes widened at the thought, were these guys our enemies? Now that I looked at them, they looked similarly dressed to the people that'd attacked Haven. Venatori, if I remembered correctly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make out much to confirm my theory. If I could get a look at their armor to see the symbol... I shifted as slowly as possible, but froze when I heard.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. Spotted their camp a ways East." The man's voice was deeper and had come from my right. He was maybe 5 feet away. I felt my blood run cold. If I had moved any more, he could have spotted me. He ambled by, the symbol on his plate armor glinting in the sunlight. Two dragons intertwining.

They  _were_  Venatori.  _Mother of fuck._  Just my luck!

"What should we do?"

"Calpernia's orders were reconnaissance. Nothing more." The mage at his left said, his hood shifted just enough for me to see his beard and mustache. Was this Calpernia person their leader?

"But they don't know we're here-" The fidgety archer began but was cut off.

" _Not_  to engage." The mage stated firmly, looking at the man with a stern look.

"They had a civilian girl with them. Spoke of another world. With better weapons." The one that had been scouting began, "Could it be this …  _otherworlder_ the rumors have been speaking of?"

I let out a small gasp, not expecting them to come out so openly about it. Not only that, but they knew. From the sounds of it, they had heard of me in the very least. But how? I saw one of the men freeze. The one closest to me. Fuck. Shit. God damn it! He turned around, looking into the woods curiously. I saw his eyes glance over my spot before looking somewhere else.

"They're  _all_  in the camp...?" The man peered around suspiciously.

"The girl went for a walk, but went in the other direction. Why?" The brute of a man rose a brow as he answered, walking up to him to peek around in the woods more closely as well. The brute was the only one wielding a sword, so I was guessing he was the muscle. Two were mages and one was an archer. Wait … wasn't there one other?

"Is this the girl?" I heard a voice from behind me. I gasped, rolling out of the bushes and trying to get up, only to be slammed to the ground by the man that had been behind me. I growled, trying to pry his hands off of my arms as he tried to wrestle with me.

"Get the fuck-!" I yelled but he punched me in the face, shutting me up. I grunted and my vision wavered.

"That'd be her..." The scout sighed and sneered, "How did you guys not see or hear her nearby?"

The man on me was sitting on my back, my face was in the dirt as he had my arms behind my back. His grip was painful and I could already feel the bruises forming. Fucking  _rogues_! They're sneaky as hell and I was starting to gain a dislike for them. Especially with how they could just disappear like that. Then again, three of my friends were rogues... so...

I could feel him trying to bind my wrists, making me panic. I can't let them take me! I'd end up dead, or worse. They'd also been listening and following for awhile, so who knows what they knew? I started to flail my legs, trying to get him off of me. I was rewarded with a swift knock to the head, sending my world into blackness.

* * *

My vision wavered and would blink in and out for awhile before I finally regained consciousness. I was being carried like a sack of potatoes by some large brute of a man. I couldn't see what he looked like, though. I did, however, see the other men behind him. It hadn't been a dream, I was taken by these Venatori for only God knows what.

I started to shake, feeling dread creeping it's way up into my body. I let out a loud screech and started to flail around. Kicking my feet and trying to wriggle my wrists to get them free.

"Stupid bitch." The man holding me grunted, flipping me over and tossing me on the ground. I rolled a few times before I curled up and groaned. I felt my body jolt and pain started up my arm that I'd landed on. I growled and writhed around in pain on the ground.

I was harshly grabbed and started to kick and snap my teeth blindly, like a wild animal. I didn't know what else to do, so why not try to bite the motherfuckers? My mind was in a frenzy and my thoughts were scrambled. I didn't know what to do. If I didn't do something fast I knew that I would be dead soon. Though my fighting was in vain, as he sent a knee into my ribcage and I choked out a cough.

"Move." He growled, pushing me forward. I looked back at him and glared, catching sight of a few of the other men who were looking at me like I was some kind of savage. Well, to be fair, I did just try to  _bite_  their friend.

"W-why did you grab me?" I forced out, my legs shaking as I walked forward. I could see a camp coming into view just on the other side of some bushes. It was a small camp, which told me that the five men here must be the only ones. I still felt like I had no chance.

"Information, of course." The mage at the back smiled gleefully, his eyes had lit up and it made him look fucking creepy. His smile reminded me of some pervert that took pleasure in the pain of others. I didn't want to know what they were going to do to me just to learn about the Inquisition.

Or worse, what if I cracked and gave the location of Skyhold away? Did they know where it was? I was shoved onto the ground and broken out of my musing. My legs crumpled and gave out between a tent and a table. Said table was full of torture instruments and stacks of paper.

How long had they been planning this!?

I forced down the urge to let out a whimper as I saw all of the shiny metal instruments glinting in the sunlight, as if taunting me.

"Now, we're going to ask a number of questions and you'll answer. Am I clear?" The one in the front chuckled darkly, kneeling down in front of me. It was the rogue that had found me, his daggers were strapped to his back and his hood was down. He looked like your ordinary guy, to tell you the truth. If I had seen him out of his armor, I'd think he was just a normal man walking by.

I glared at him, snapping my mouth shut. I don't know how long I'd be able to stay alive or even keep myself from breaking, but I'd try my best.

"Takin' the hard way, eh?" He had taken my refusal to talk as an answer and hit me across the face with his big hand. I bit the inside of my cheek and cried out, feeling blood start to pool in my mouth.

That was just the beginning.

I don't know how long he'd sat there and kicked the crap out of me, but it felt like forever. The other guys were standing in the back, just watching the whole thing like it was a movie. I half expected them to grab some damn popcorn and start to laugh as I let out grunts and groans from the pain I'd been feeling. I kept repeating in my head,  _'Don't break. Don't cry. Don't break.'_  as if it would give me strength. But I could start to feel it wear on me as the kicks and punches started to become more and more painful. No, he wasn't hitting me harder, he was simply hitting me in the same spots.

Everytime he asked a new question, I flooded my head with the thoughts of the friends I'd made. Changing tactics in my head, instead of repeating those words I started to think of who I was protecting. Who would get hurt if I told them anything. I was doing it to protect. Protect the people I cared about. _Remember, Lyn, protect them._

"Why were you with the Inquisitor?" No response. Lynn had gone out on a limb to make sure I didn't die in this new world. She even allowed me to stay at Skyhold to prove myself. She was kind and cared for the people that worked under her. She was a worthy leader, a good Inquisitor.

"How many of there are you?" Still no answer. Blackwall was a nice man and had suggested giving me a chance in the first place, siding with me. Even though they all likely thought me crazy, I had found myself growing attached to them all. Even Dorian, who I hardly ever talked to.

The Venatori men had mainly stayed away from my face, not wanting to accidentally break my jaw. So I assumed. Did I really look that weak to them? I couldn't talk without a mouth. I saw him trade places with someone, the creepy mage from earlier, and he went toward the table with the instruments. I damn near wet myself in fear as he grabbed a small metal object and started to unlace my boots. He'd peered curiously at my workboots but had shrugged it off and continued on.

"Alright, girlie. I'll achieve what Edmond couldn't. He's a nice man, isn't he?" His screechy voice entered my ears and I had to swallow back a whimper. He was creepy and made my skin crawl, especially with how he'd purposefully let his hand slide over my leg or how his skin would linger against mine. "Same questions, you know them by now. Answer."

I didn't.

Then he started to rip my toenails off. Fuck did that hurt. I tried to bite back the screams that rose in my throat as he slowly pulled them off, a smile on his bearded face. I had even kicked a few times, but he had used a shock spell to paralyze me as a result. Sometimes I would lie and tell them I didn't know or I'd just simply not speak.

Eventually, when it had seemed like hours later, my kicks were getting weaker and my throat was raw. Every time I tried to kick I was only rewarded with a twist of his dagger that was sitting in my thigh. The pain would cause spots to enter my vision as I bit my lip to keep from screaming. They came out as muffled shrieks and he looked like he was  _enjoying_  it. A gleeful look would light up his face every time I whimpered or screamed. When that didn't work, he started to shock me with his magic.

The Iron Bull and Krem had gone out of their way to try and help me. They didn't have to, but they did. That was worth something, right? Dorian had saved my life back at Haven and sometimes we would chat when we were all eating in the mess hall, though rarely. Sera and I had this mutual understanding going on. We pranked each other and gave each other shit, but it was fun. I thought she was cool and she just had one of those colorful personalities.

"Gotta hand it to ya, you're hangin' in there pretty good." The mage chuckled darkly, though his eyes were alight with something I couldn't identify. "I always did like a woman that could fight."

Everything throbbed. It hurt. It hurt so much. The mage kept talking, though I never answered. He may as well have been talking to a wall. A screaming wall. But a wall nonetheless.

It was then, in my pain addled mind, I remembered that I put my weapons in my back pocket. I panted, my hair draped in front of my face as sweat rolled down my forehead. My brown eyes glinted with a new light, hope. Hoping silently that they hadn't checked them, I shifted backward onto my butt and started to kick at him. As I leaned back I could feel the familiar bumps of my weapons. I hardly ever saw people with back pockets around here and my tunic was covering my butt anyway. That had given me an advantage. That, and they seemed to think that I was some weak civilian girl that tagged along with the Inquisitor. They thought little of me. Underestimated me. That would be their downfall. I almost sighed in relief, but was hit across the face again.

Varric had given me a nickname and had even gone out of his way to make sure I didn't hurt myself when Sera had gotten me high. He was a good man and was one of the few people that hadn't pushed me aside back at Haven. Sure he called me crazy, but he didn't treat me like less of a person like most of the others had. He also took care of Cole, in his own way. Ah yes, Cole. I choked, trying not to cry.

"I will break you, whether you like it or not." The mage sneered. I just … I had to wait for the right time, otherwise I wouldn't have a fighting chance in hell. The other members of his freakish party were still watching. One of them had gone off to a tent to do something. Though I could barely see through my blurry eyes. My glasses had dropped at some point and I didn't know where they were.

With the few snippets of conversation that I could hear behind the mage, they were talking about leaving later today to their little hideout in Val Royeux. Vicinius' house. More talk of this Calpernia person, too. Some papers, which I'm hoping were sensitive documents, were handed to the bulkier man who stuffed them in his pocket. He nodded and went inside of one of the tents. They obviously weren't worried about me hearing any of their conversation. Which lead me to believe they were going to dispose of me once they were finished anyway.

I had to get out of this. I just … had to. I had to do it for my friends. For Cole. I'd promised myself that I would never leave him, like his other friend had. Didn't me dying count as 'losing' someone again? I couldn't have that! Not only that, but they had been following my group and who knows how much they'd heard? I couldn't … let them get away with that.

My thoughts were interrupted, yet again, when the mage took his knife and tore open the front of my tunic. I let out a terrified scream as he purposely dug into the middle of my chest. Through the stars that appeared in my vision, I saw the others turning around and going back to do things in the camp. Whatever it was that the creepy mage was about to do, not even  _they_  wanted to see it. The thought made my heart hammer in my chest. Adrenaline pumped into my veins much harder now, making my body shake.

Fumbling around with my bound hands was harder than I thought, as I wiggled around and dug around for my knife in my back pocket. The mage must have thought I was trying to wiggle out of my binds, because he smirked.

"The binds are too tight,  _dear_. There is no getting out of this now." He giggled and was about to continue, but I felt my knife come free and I flipped it open, spit at him and let out a feral sounding growl to cover up the sound of my knife snapping open. I sawed at the ropes as fast as I could, because the look in his eye was not a good one. I'd seen that look before. I shook my head and forced the tears from coming up. This won't happen again.  _Not again!_

He got on his knees and leaned forward, closer to me. Just as he did so, my arms came unbound. Without even thinking, I pulled the knife around my body and stabbed him in the side of his neck. I heard a gurgling sound as I pulled downward and opened it more before pulling it free with a nasty sound that I'd rather not describe. I felt the hot trails of blood go down my arm as I lowered my hand to my thigh. It all seemed to happen in slow motion.

What was disturbing, though, was the fact that there was arterial spray. The thick sent of copper filled my nose and was even in my mouth. Thick layers of the life fluid fell all over my face and trailed down my neck and shoulder. I gagged and spit it out, pushing the body away as I stumbled to my feet. I then fumbled around my back pocket and took out my gun, taking the safety off. My right hand was slick with the red substance, making holding the gun harder. I had to use both hands.

With shaking hands, I saw the other Venatori agents run over and I'd realized that the creepy mage had been making gurgling screams as I had stabbed him. My hearing started to come back as I heard the other men starting to bark out orders. Without waiting, I fired off two rounds at the nearest man. The bullets went through his robes, hitting him in the chest. He fell into a crumpled heap on the ground, causing the other three to freeze up.

Two more shots. Then more. I don't even know how I was able to hit them, but since they were relatively close they were bigger and easier targets for me. Before I got to the last guy, though, he'd fired an ice spell at me and it'd pierced my leg and made me stumble forward.

"D-Demon!" He screamed, and I saw the look of utter terror in the man's eyes as I unloaded the rest of the magazine into him. My eyes widening as I took delight in the fact that  _he_  was the one that was scared now. They've obviously never seen a gun.

After they were dead and the threat was gone, I promptly threw up. I was on the ground heaving as I heard the sounds of approaching hoof beats. Not knowing if they were friendly, I scrambled to my feet but paused as I looked down at my hands. My right hand and forearm was covered completely with blood. My gun had it on it, as well, as it was rested in my left hand. Eyes widening, I started to hyperventilate.

**Third Person**

They'd noticed Lyn was missing after she'd been gone for an hour. The Iron Bull had taken off in the direction that she'd walked in and found her glasses laying in the grass near a rotted log. Along with signs of a minor scuffle.

Since then, the party had been searching the nearby area for the otherworldly girl. Lynn looked scared, almost like she didn't believe Lyn was still alive. Cole was acting mighty weird as well, with his uncharacteristic fidgeting. The fact that he was silent the whole time they looked was odd enough.

That was when they heard the gunshots. Though, they didn't know what gunshots sounded like. Only that they were loud and which direction they'd been coming from.

"This way!" Lavellan had called as she spurred the Hart she was riding into a gallop.

Once a camp came into view, the first thing that Lynn had noticed was the fact that there were bodies laying around. The first ones that came into view were laying on the ground with blood coming out of their backs. They swiftly got off of their horses and began to search the area. Lynn walked up to a mage that was laying face down and saw that his throat was cut. He was laying next to Lyn's hunting knife. Gasping, she knelt down and picked it up, not caring that she got blood on her hands in the process.

"I found her knife!"

"Yes, but where is  _she_?" Varric put in, looking around at the camp with a frown on his face. His eyes held the concern he felt for the girl.

"It looks like she was taken by a group of Venatori." Dorian said from beside Bull on the other side of the camp, his tone of voice showed his distaste at the idea.

"Way to state the obvious, mage-boy." The Qunari stated blandly, looking down at the Tevinter with a small smirk on his features.

"Well, _excuse me_." He snarked back, turning and with a flutter of his robe he got to work on searching some of the bodies.

Lavellan peered over and saw Cole crouched near a large tent, talking into it softly. She couldn't hear what it was he was saying, but he entered and disappeared behind the canvas. She stood up and walked over to see a sight she wishes she hadn't.

Lyn was covered in blood, the front of her tunic was ripped open down to her belly button. A rather large gash was in the middle of her chest, right between her breasts. Her rusty hair was matted on one side with the blood that covered all over the right side of her face and arm. Lyn's eyes were unfocused as they darted around, trying to see if there was anymore danger.

"You are safe, now." Cole tried to reassure from beside her. The Inquisitor heard the girl whine, curling up a bit tighter. "It's Cole." He took off his hat and looked at her.

Lyn's fear filled gaze turned toward the young man and her shaking started to reside. Only slightly. The rogue slowly inched toward her, trying to get into her personal space without startling her. It was like he was trying to calm a skittish horse, his hands held up.

"Is she okay, Cole?" Lavellan asked, making herself known. A gasp could be heard as the otherworlder pointed a black chunk of metal in her direction. Cole swiftly grabbed her arm and put it down, not knowing whether or not it could actually hurt Lavellan or not if Lyn accidentally used it in her fear-filled state.

"Her fear is blinding her. Curling, choking, her mind a haze of fog. She doesn't recognize us." He sounded somber as he looked back at his friend, who still had yet to look at any of them in the eye.

"Maybe she just needs to calm down. She'll be alright, Cole..." The Inquisitor spoke softly as she crouched in front of the blood covered girl. Her auburn waves were sticking to the side of her face. Her fear filled brown eyes peeked beneath her wavy locks, gazing up at the elf. "It's alright now, Lyn. We're here."

**First Person**

I slowly started to come out of the horror filled daze that I'd put myself in when I saw the blood all over my hands. I could feel a cold wet washcloth being dragged gently across my skin on my chest and arm. I slowly focused my eyes and saw that Lynn was currently cleaning me up with tender hands. I was inside of a red tent. The same tent that I saw when I was being tortured by the Venatori men. I couldn't help the small whine that came up my throat when I looked around.

I saw Bull and Dorian digging around outside of the tent, their weapons sheathed and put away. Varric was standing idly just outside of the entrance, staring out and keeping watch. Lynn was cleaning me and Cole was sitting right next to her. The gashes on my thighs from the ice spell and dagger were tied off and bandaged to stop the bleeding. The small cuts on my arms and legs were cleaned and I … couldn't really feel the pain. Like it had been dulled. Did they put something on my wounds to numb me up?

"You're alright now." Lynn reassured and I locked gazes with her, my heart rate finally returning to normal. Not being able to hold her gaze for long, my eyes fell to the faint tattoos on her cheeks. I'd always thought they accentuated her high cheekbones, bringing out her beauty. They were nice.

"A-Are they all dead?" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth and I swallowed thickly, still feeling the remnants of fear within.

"Yes, they all were when we arrived." She put the rag in a bucket and squeezed it out before continuing to clean the blood off of my body. I noticed that the bodies outside were missing, which lead me to believe they must have dragged them away and piled them somewhere. "Did they..." Lynn sounded like she didn't even want to ask as she looked down at my ripped tunic.

"I cut his throat before he could." My voice sounded cold, even to me. I could have sworn I saw Lynn flinch at the bluntness of my statement. "I did it … to survive?"

I did it to survive, right? I mean, I - it felt good ... to make them feel what I did. The fear the- 

"Yes... You  _had_  to.." Lynn's voice was soft as she put her thin fingers on my now clean face, I pulled away slightly. I still found physical contact uncomfortable and tried to avoid it at all costs. She seemed to understand and pulled her hand away with a comforting smile.

"I can finish. Thank you..." I tried to offer my own smile but my lips only twitched in response. I grabbed the rag out of her hand and started to finish the job. The young elf nodded, eyes sad as she pushed my bag toward me. At least I'd brought a new set of clothes, right?

The blood was gross. It made me feel gross. Dirty. Tainted. I didn't want it on me, but it was there. Crusted, coppery, sticky. It almost sent my mind in a panic-filled haze, again. But I shook my head and tried to shrug it off. I can get through this. I can do it.

After I was as clean as I could get myself, I dug around in my pack for a new shirt. I hadn't even packed another bra, so I was going to have to go bra-less for awhile. Fucking wonderful. Sighing, I looked over at Cole. He was still crouched in the tent with me, silent as ever. It was unlike him, really. I'd have expected him to start blurting out people's thoughts or something. Or maybe he was just digging around in my head to find something to say to try and help me. I rose a brow and turned around, slipping my ripped tunic off and throwing it aside. I put my clean shirt on and nodded, feeling much better now that I was covered up.

"It was going to happen again. But you wouldn't let it. You're older now, more capable of fighting back." Cole started, making me flinch. "Sticky. Coppery. In your mouth and nose. You did it so that they wouldn't hurt you. Just like – "

I cut him off by whipping my body around and putting my hand on his face, covering his mouth. My eyes were widened, unfocused, as they darted around to make sure no one had heard. He was staring at me, eyes full of questions. I was afraid of what they'd think if they knew. What did people think of _that_ , here? Would they think me sick? Tainted? Impure? Would they pity me? They'd see me differently and I didn't want that. No. 

"Don't. Please d-don't talk about it. Talking about it hurts." He closed his mouth behind my hand as I leaned back onto my knees and sat there.

I clenched my hands in my pants, looking down at my bloody gun. Did I, really? What had scared me most about this experience was the sick amount of satisfaction I'd got when I saw the last one drop to the ground, his face horrified. Like mine had been just minutes before. The roles had switched, just like that. I was scared of them, but most of all … I was scared of myself.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." I heard Cole say as I grabbed my bag and held it close to myself.

"Don't be. I'm alive... that's what matters, right?" I cocked my head to the side before standing up, "Let us go see the others."

I brushed it off, just like I did most of my problems. That's just how I dealt with things. Not healthy. Cole seemed to know this, too. A frown forming on his face as if he disagreed with me, but didn't object otherwise. I didn't need help. Not with _that_. 

When I exited the tent, I was greeted with the sight of blood stains on the green grass where the Venatori men had met their demise. Not a comforting thought, yeah? Varric was also staring down at them and looked over to me, noticing my exit.

"What did you  _do_  to them?" He asked, sounding kind of baffled. I looked around and saw the others looking at me just as curiously. I pulled my gun out of my pocket and held it out for them to see.

"Hey, didn't Leliana confiscate that back at Haven?" Lynn asked, staring at it with squinted eyes.

"You'd be correct. However..." I nodded but stated firmly, "It is  _my_  gun."

" _That_  little thing killed all of these men? What  _is_  that?" Bull took a step forward, hand held out as if to grab it. I pulled my hand back and held it to my chest. The magazine was empty, I knew. Because I'd unloaded the last of the bullets into the last man. Poor asshole. But I didn't want anyone to have it, because if they took it I wasn't sure if I'd get it back.

"I told you that my world was more advanced, didn't I?" I let out a breath through my nose, "This was one of the weapons I was telling you about."

"You're shitting me..." Bull was staring at it in wonder, his face expressing the fact that he thought it was almost unbelievable.

"Yes, my bullshit story wasn't as bullshit as you think." I pocketed it, keeping it out of sight.

"I'd keep that close by, Screech. If it's as dangerous as I think it is … we can't have that falling into the wrong hands." Varric sounded really serious as he looked up at me. He had Bianca, which was considered a dangerous weapon as well. Something that not everyone around here had.

"Kind of like Bianca?" I asked, shifting my weight onto one leg and tilting my head.

"I … think you may have me beat, as much as it pains me to say it. Bianca couldn't knock four men on their asses in the short amount of time that yours did."

I nodded, walking by him and toward the pile of bodies beside the tent. I grabbed the last mage I'd shot and dragged his limp form off of the warrior just underneath him. Once I'd gotten to the burly man, I dug around in his pockets and found those papers they were handing around. I'd caught a glance of the slit throat of the creepy mage that had ripped my tunic and gagged, turning my body around and dry heaving as I stumbled away.

"H-here.." I coughed out, my gags finally subsiding. "They'd been following us, this might be worth reading."

"You could have just asked..." Lynn was about to say something but I looked up and glared at her.

"You don't need to coddle me. I can handle myself just fine." I bit out, "Shit happens, I get it. But this was kind of  _my_  fault. I walked out into the woods, alone, and didn't think about the consequences."

"It's okay to be scared, you know." Dorian mumbled, strutting his way over to Lynn to look at the documents I'd handed her.

" _I am._  It's just easier to get angry." I mutter, shifting around uncomfortably. I was talking more than I'd have liked. But if I didn't, I could end up just making things worse. I looked down at my crossed arms, seeing bruises peeking out where the bandages weren't. My legs were in a similar condition and I'm pretty sure my torso was as well. "I could have sworn I broke a rib or something, what happened?"

"Wonderful job I did, yes?" Dorian piped in, "Your ribs were cracked, but I was able to mend them with what little healing magic I know. I was even able to stop the bleeding!"

"I must give my thanks. Again." I concede as I walk over to lift my bag onto my back.

"How does this … gun of yours even work?" Bull was sounding extra curious, making me feel a little uneasy. I knew he was Ben-Hassrath and if he somehow reported this to the Qunari leaders? I wasn't sure if I'd end up dead and hanging in a tree somewhere. My suspicion must have shown on my face because he grunted and stood up straighter.

"Forgive me if I don't want to … tell you. Don't the Qunari use cannon balls in some of their ships?" His eye narrowed down at me, I nodded. "This is a very compact version of that. Not  _exactly_ , but it's the best explanation I can come up with."

"I see..."

"That thing was pretty loud. I wouldn't doubt people within miles heard it." Varric paused, "Which means it'd probably be a good idea to get out of here."

"Do you think the thing could be replicated?" Dorian asked about my gun as I walked over to my horse, I looked back at him and glared. I'd expected to see an inquisitive look on his face, but he almost looked concerned at the thought of it getting replicated. My glare softened, though I still held my stance.

"Yes, but not if I have any say in it. The last thing you people need is  _more_  weapons to kill eachother with." I hefted myself atop of the horse's back. "I've seen enough of that back in my world. I'm sure you guys have bombs here, yes? Smaller. Full of a special powder and go boom when you set it on fire?"

Bull sucked in a breath, looking up at me now. I was taller than him up on this horse, I kept my face straight as I ran my fingers through the horse's mane. Lynn had paused her reading of the papers in her hands and peeked up at me from behind them. Dorian looked interested, almost intrigued. Varric looked like he didn't want to believe me.

"Back home, they have things much  _worse_  than that. These bombs are capable of …  _leveling_ _whole_ _cities_ _."_  At that, I turned away and began to fiddle with the reins, leading the horse around the camp. That had signaled the end of the conversation. Not that I wanted to continue, Varric had looked up at me with the most horrified expression I'd ever seen him wear. Ever. I don't blame them, it was unsettling and I'm sure I'd feel the same.


	9. Apprehension

The ride back to Skyhold was bumpy and painful. After awhile, my body started to feel the effects of the beating I'd received. One of my feet was bandaged up, making it feel tight in my boot. That foot was completely missing toenails and it almost hurt just to look at it. Scary shit.  _I was insanely lucky,_  though. I survived. Not only that, but they could have done  _much_  worse to me. I came out pretty beat up and had some pretty deep gashes, bruised ribs and all the like, but I hadn't lost that much blood. I'd attribute that to the fact that they thought me just some weak civilian girl.

The papers that Lynn had found were about a few odd things they'd hear us talking about in camp, including the fact that I thought I was from another world. Even the part about the weapons and technology I'd told Bull about. I don't want to even know what Corypheus would have done if he got that information. Could he find a way through the Fade to my world? What would he do with that kind of power? I shivered.

After rummaging around they'd even found the log that the Venatori had been keeping of the information they'd tried to extract from me. Detailed listings of the shit they'd tried on me and my reactions to it. Twas not a pretty sight. I hated the looks I'd gotten from Lynn and the others as a result.  _The pity._  It only served to piss me off and I ended up being rather snappy on our way back when they'd tried to strike up conversation. I'd even had to force myself not to snap at poor Cole, who had remained close to my side the whole trek back.

I couldn't even accept the compliment I'd gotten from Bull about how strong I'd been.  _For a civilian girl_ , went unsaid. I knew that much. I just opted for glaring in the distance and following on my horse. I'd apologize later, probably. But at that moment I wanted nothing more than to dig a hole and hide myself in it.

Even though I was in a surly mood, I had told Lynn about the information I'd heard them talking about. The person they were reporting to named Calpernia and that they were going to Val Royeux to give those papers to someone in Vicinius' house. The information was practically seared into my brain, because I'd been being tortured at the time. Listening had been hard, almost impossible, but it had paid off. She had nodded and told me that she would relay the information to her advisors and have it looked into.

So, when we finally did get back the sun had been setting and my ass was hurting from the ride. Then again, that wasn't the only thing that was hurting. It seemed whatever the hell they put on my wounds was starting to wear off. I'd tried to unsaddle the horses when they were brought to the stables, but couldn't even lift the saddles off of their backs. My arms felt like jelly and my stomach muscles screamed at me to stop. Thankfully one of the other stablehands had arrived and took over. I nodded my thanks and headed to the infirmary to see Adan.

When I entered he let out a choking sound and hobbled over to me. "What did you do this time?!" He yelled, forcing me down into a seated position on a cot. I shook my head,

"Got the shit kicked out of me. No biggie." I commented offhandedly. He was going through and giving me a checkup when he came across my toenails on my one foot. Or lack of them. Understanding seemed to flit across his features and he didn't press for details after that.

I was given a potion to drink tonight before bed and sent off on my way. I sat up in my room, examining my newly changed bandages when I tried to lay down to sleep. Everytime I closed my eyes, however, I saw the blood. I could swear I could  _smell_  it, too. It had been everywhere; in my nose, mouth, almost got in my eye too. My eyes snapped open and I simply sat up and ambled my way out of my room.

I spent that night in the library up in Skyhold, reading. I would not admit this out loud, but I had picked up one of Varric's books and began to read it. When I could see the sun starting to peek through the windows, I sighed and made my way to the stables. The potion I'd taken last night had made most of the smaller bruises fade away and my bigger ones were less irritating than before. Today was going to be a long day …

* * *

And it was. I kept feeling my eyes droop, but ended up shaking it off and continuing on with my work. No one seemed to comment on my sorry state, so I pushed myself and didn't seem to have a problem keeping up with them otherwise. Even though, at times, I'd wince and have pause my work.

Evening was upon us when I finally finished and put things away in their respective places. I walked up into the loft where my babies were and sat down in the hay with a grunt. I blinked, when had I started calling them my _babies_? I knew I'd grown relatively attached to the three furballs and their mother, but …

I shook my head and shifted my body.

"Hey there little guys..." I croaked, picking up the black one and holding it close to my chest.

I lay back into the pile of hay and could feel the kittens playing with my sleeves at my side. One was laying next to my head, purring. The sound of the purring started to lull me off as I lightly dozed in the loft above the barn.

_When I dreamt that night, it was of back at camp. Before everything happened with the Venatori. We were all talking around the fire, laughing. Before I knew it, they were looking over at me with concerned looks asking what was wrong._

" _Are you alright, Lyn?" Lynn had asked me, her bright grey eyes full of concern. Then I blinked and I was standing above her with a bloodied knife, her once bright eyes now dull and lifeless. I screamed, dropping the knife and looking up at the others. They, too, were dead. Shot and laying in the grass._

 _My surroundings slowly changed as I_  was now seated and looking down at my hands, the blood was sticky and completely covered my right arm. I was shaking as I stared down at them in disbelief. What was happening? I thought –

"It's not real." Cole's voice brought me out of my daze. I snapped my eyes in his direction, blinking rapidly. I was hyperventilating and trembling as he sat next to me. I then dared to peek down at my hands, which were now clean. Nothing was there. No blood. Nothing.

"J-Just a dream..." My voice shook as I laid back down, feeling suddenly drained. I turned over on my left side and curled up, facing him as he sat cross-legged right next to me.

"I see. You are … afraid of what you are capable of." Cole murmured, his gaze was lingering out toward where the hay bales sat across from us. "The blood on your hands, them screaming in horror. They thought you a demon. Killing them, it made you feel more alive. Satisfied."

I curled up tighter, feeling my eyes start to water. Of course. Now he's going to think I'm a freak. Just wonderful. I don't even want to know how I'd be able to take it if Cole was no longer my friend. It would hurt, a lot. I knew that much. I waited for the look of disgust or even for him just to disappear completely. I wouldn't blame him.

"I ... used to be the same way. I thought it made me feel more real. I'm different now. A friend helped me see, the one that's gone now." He instead offered as he turned his head to look down at me, his expression showing just how haunted he felt about it. My stomach clenched at the thought. I slid my hand over and grabbed his, trying to offer some sort of comfort. I didn't know the entirety of what he'd gone through, but in this world... this harsh world? It couldn't have been good.

We were quiet for awhile before Cole finally spoke again, "You don't feel fear. Knowing what I was. Why?" His voice sounded so innocent, how could I? That is what he was, not what he is. If we looked at life like that, people would see me as a broken woman. Depressed and suicidal. I was, once in my life. Not anymore. I am not that. What had happened didn't matter. Sure it shaped who we are now, but what matters is how we chose to live our lives now.

"Who you are now is what matters." Was all I offered, meaning every word. At that realization, the fears from earlier about hurting my friends seemed to vanish. Almost as if they dissolved into the wind. I wasn't that kind of person. I just didn't hurt those I cared for. The only reason I'd even done that to those men was because they were about to hurt me. It was self defense. And Cole didn't seem to hold it against me. Just like I wouldn't hold what he'd done against him. That wouldn't be fair and it just didn't seem to make sense to me. He was here, now, helping people. Making them hurt less. He is the compassionate young man I know him as, not as some... demon.

I was laying fully clothed in the hay, boots still on and everything, which was enough to keep me warm. But I still shifted a bit closer, feeling the warmth that radiated off of his body, and started to fall into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

When I started to wake up the next day, it was to the sounds of the birds chirping in the rafters of the barn and the feel of … someone petting me. In my sleepy state, I sighed and leaned into the touch. Their hand stilled, but soon started petting again. I curled up tighter, trying to keep the warmth in. It reminded me of back when I was a child, my mother would often pet me to put me to sleep. I'd developed an aversion to people touching my hair after she'd left us, but this was different. I liked it.

I started to become fully conscious and I began to realize that I was still curled up right next to Cole. He still sat there, though he was looking elsewhere as he idly played with my rusty waves. He was looking out the window at something or someone, I'd presumed. The sounds of the horses in the stables nearby as they whinnied for their food made me realize I still needed to get up and feed them. It was my turn to get up early today and feed them, afterall.

I was about to say something as I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by Cole as he spoke.

"Gentle hands caress wavy strands. Just like mother used to. Used to hate it, but not when he does it. Do you like this?" He turned his gaze away from the window and tilted his head as he looked down at me. His hands had paused, but still lingered in my hair. I squinted my eyes in response, feeling a light blush creeping up onto my face.

"I would by lying if I said I didn't. So yes … I do." I sat up, feeling some of the hay sticking to the side of my face. I swiftly wiped it off, feeling a bit embarrassed. Why? I had no reason to be!

Purposely averting my eyes from his, I focused on getting the small particles out of my clothing and hair. I fell asleep up here quite often, so I'd become used to picking hay and straw out of my hair and clothing. If I didn't get all of it out, sometimes I'd even have to change my clothes. Otherwise I'd be walking around all day feeling itchy.

Every now and again I'd glance up to see him still observing me, making me feel oddly nervous. I tried to hurry up, but ended up freezing when I saw him lift his hand up. I felt his hand brush the side of my face gently as he put it in my hair. I was stuck smothering the urge to lean into his touch, yet again. I could have sworn my heart was in my throat as I tried to stifle the anxiety I felt as he did so. Soon enough, he pulled his hand away and held a rather large piece of straw. He smiled innocently at me, completely oblivious to my reaction. Well, he probably knew but was likely just as clueless as I was.

The only thing I knew for certain at this moment, was that I needed to get to work. That may have been an excuse to be alone with my thoughts, though. I dunno. I stuttered out a thank you as I scurried down the stairs and into the stables.

After I'd given them their food, I breathed out a sigh of relief at finally settling my poor little heart. I wonder if I was getting sick? I did, afterall, spend the night in a cold loft above a barn. There were many stalls in the stables, on both sides and the light peeked through the small gaps in the wood above. As I looked up, I could have sworn I saw a figure sitting up there somewhe –

"Eat it, Screechie!" I heard Sera's voice yell from above me. It wasn't long after that I felt something fall on top of my head, making me scream. I felt a bag slip off my head and fall onto the ground, a powdery substance made it's way all the way down my hair and upper torso.

It was flour. She'd thrown a bag of flour at my head and I was now white as a ghost. I shook my head, sending billowy clouds of flour out around my body.

"S-Sera!" I squawked, "I'm  _working_!"

The only response I'd gotten was a giggling as she flipped herself off of the rafters above and landed like a cat in front of me. The young elf stood up, both hands on her hips as she leaned forward with a big grin on her face.

"What's the matter, Lyn? Yer lookin a little pale, better go see Adan." She cackled and turned to leave. I let out a growl and bent down to grab the sack of flour. I whipped it at her with all that I had, hoping that the remnants of what was in the bag would get her.

I wasn't so lucky, though. She had apparently saw that coming as she ducked and it went flying above her head and hit someone behind her instead. The bag stuck to their face and I saw a hat fall to the ground, their hands were held up as if they'd tried to catch it before it smacked them in the face.

"Oomph!" He grunted and stumbled backwards.

"Nice shot on Creepy!" Sera called and ran out the door. I screeched, feeling mortified once I found out who I'd hit.

"C-Cole!" I stumbled forward a bit before I sprinted up to him. He was still standing as the sack of flour fell into his hands in front of him. He looked down at it curiously, the flour was all over in his hair and on his face. He'd even gotten some on his shoulders.

Shit I felt bad. I hadn't meant to hit him. I didn't even see him behind her! I began to fret about his face, wondering if I'd hurt him somehow. At some point, I'd grabbed a piece of cloth hanging on the wall somewhere and began to hurriedly wipe away the flour.

"Shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you!" I whined.

"It didn't hurt." He'd stated as he grabbed my hand, pushing the cloth toward my chest. "It's... everywhere..." He commented as he looked up at the flour on my hair and face. I felt myself flush in embarrassment. There it was again! I wanted to grunt in irritation, trying to smother the offending emotion. It sucked, because I usually never really felt embarrassed over anything. Ever. But these past few days, the way my face would heat up and my heart raced whenever he was around was starting to irritate me. Because I had no idea how to get rid of it. Maybe I just cared too much about what he thought of me? But even that thought confused me.

I sighed, using the cloth to clean myself off as well. It was  _everywhere_. Did I say that? I'm sure I did. Cole got lucky and only got some on his head. I wasn't so lucky. Finally calm, I started to pat my shirt down to get the flour out. That didn't seem to work, because the stuff seemed to stick everywhere. My eye twitched in irritation.

"Sera found out what happened and wanted to cheer you up." I winced, did  _everyone_  know? After a few moments of silence he answered, "No. Sera is special to the Inquisitor. They spend lots of time in the room alone."

I choked, feeling a blush creeping up onto my face. Special, huh? I kind of already had a feeling just what kind of  _special_  he meant. The two had been flirting and exchanging glances, thinking they're being all sneaky. Not sneaky enough. The same went for Bull and Dorian. There was one time I had to leave the tavern completely because they'd gotten rather … loud in the room on the second floor. I shivered at the memory. Good thing hardly anyone ever used this loft unless it was to grab things during the day, so I could be alone up there at night.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts.

"Hmmm... trying to cheer me up, you say?" I nodded, eyes closed. "I suppose I could...  _thank_  her." Trying to keep my chuckle from bubbling out of my mouth, I opened my eyes and gave Cole a pat on the head. Some of the flour that was up there made a small white cloud as I did so. I blinked, looking around for his hat and saw it laying on the ground behind him. I picked it up and handed it back.

* * *

I spent the rest of the day working, as usual. But I knew what I was going to do after I was done. It would help me keep my mind off of the events from a few days ago. Sera may not know it, but she did succeed in making me feel a bit better. She was, so far, one of the few people that didn't look at me with some sort of pity after they'd found out what happened. Now, I'm not sure who all knows but the ones that had been out with us that day still looked at me with that look in their eye.

I hated it.

I've had to deal with that same look since I was young, when they found out what I had gone through. The shit that had happened to me and my siblings. Not nice, might I add. Not all homes in the foster care systems are all sunshine and rainbows. Huffing, I put my gear away for the night and headed over to see Adan in the infirmary.

I didn't even knock, I just opened the door and ambled in to look around.

"This should help the constipation." I heard Adan grumble, handing a man some purple looking vial. I coughed, getting his attention. He held up his hand toward his patient, as if telling him to wait a moment.

"Hey, do you have anything that can help me sleep? I … kind of … can't." Was all I said as I stood in the doorway. He was standing next to a patient who looked rather pale. The old man grunted in affirmation, walking toward a shelf that had many potions on it. Some were color coded, some had pieces of paper tied to it. Labels, I realized.

"Here. Now go on, get." He waved his hands dismissively, going back to his patient. As I left, however, I saw the shelf by the door lined with many more potions. The one that caught my eye, though, was the one that was purple. Just like the one he'd given his patient behind me. Smirking evilly, I had a change of plans.

I peered behind me, making sure he wasn't looking and took that vial too. I then scuttled out the door, both vials in my pocket.

Laxatives  _and_  a sedative. This should be great. She drugged me once, so it was only fair I did it in return right?

I was, however, distracted from my plotting when I spotted Sera and Lynn out in the training yard. Both of them were aiming bows at the target on the other side. I walked up to them, curious. I'd never seen Lynn use a bow before, she was usually using her shiny daggers.

"What're you guys up to?" I asked, before they could begin their practice session.

"Oh, nothing. Just a bet is all." Lynn put her bow down by her hip, looking at me with a friendly expression on her face. Thankfully she wasn't looking at me with pity anymore. Ugh. I was interested, though.

"Whoever gets the most bulls-eyes with six arrows gets to ask the other to do whatever they want. Fun, yeah?" Sera smiled back at me, before her eyes widened in realization. "Hey! You're an archer, want in?"

"Pffft. As if."

"Is Screechie scared she'll lose?" Sera taunted, cocking her hip to one side. I felt my irritation rise,

"No! It'd be unfair, because I'd totally smoke the both of you." I sniffed, holding my head up as I bragged. I knew it was a bluff, though. I mean, I'd been practicing for a long time but I wasn't better than Sera. I knew that much.

"Then you're in, come on." She jogged over toward the door that lead to the armory. The blonde elf came back out with a bow that was similar to theirs and six more arrows. Gulping, I grabbed the bow.

What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

Needless to say, I'd only hit five out of the six bulls-eyes. Which was a feat, actually. After that I knew that my aim wasn't as bad as I thought. Lynn hit four and Sera hit all six. Sighing, I watched as Sera gloated in the tavern afterwards while we sat at a table.

"Should go get us more ale, eh?" Sera looked over at me and I rose a brow.

"Is this the  _thing_  that you're asking me to do?" I hoped.

"No." She giggled, "I have  _something else_  planned for  _that_. Later." No luck. I sighed, standing up and walking over to Cabot to order a few. He grunted and slapped three tall tankards of the foul smelling crap in front of me. He turned back around to grab something else, but I used that time to pull out the vials and dump them in one of the drinks.

Smiling at my handiwork, I picked them up and strutted back over to the table. I was carrying three of them. One for Sera, Bull and Lynn. Krem was there too, but he was already passed out on the table and drooling. It seemed, wherever Bull was … Krem was not far behind.

"Here you go, ladies." I drawled as I set them down in the middle of the table. Big mistake, I paled as I saw Bull grab the one I'd put the drugs in.

"Thanks, kid." He grunted. Before I could tell him not to, he chugged the damn thing. My eyes were wide and my hand was up as if to tell him to stop, body frozen. Shit. "Ah, good shit." He slammed the empty container onto the table, jolting Krem awake.

"Wuh..?" He gazed up, blinking sleepily. What have I just done?

"Something wrong?" Lynn asked, sipping at hers delicately.

"N-No. It's nothing." I let out a nervous chuckle. "I uh. Shall retire to my room."

* * *

I stayed in my room all night that night, not wanting to be down there when Bull woke up. I had woke up extra early that morning to head to the stables, to stay away from the Herald's Rest. On my way down, I found Bull passed out on the floor near the staircase. No one had bothered to move him. Or … I don't think anyone could, to be honest. He was too heavy. As I tiptoed by, I could smell the foul stench of crap. Literally. Crap. I winced, scuttling out the door as fast as I could.

Bull had passed out on the floor and shit himself. _I was so fucking dead._  That's only if he found out, though.

Master Dennet spoke to me that day, telling me about the proposition that Lynn had talked about with me days earlier.

"I'm getting too old and my wife and daughter need me back at the farm." He explained, scratching his white beard.

"I understand, sir. But … why  _me_?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"You're young. But you do the job well  _and_  you enjoy it. I can see it when you look at them horses." He explained, his hand coming down from his beard as he crossed his arms. He then elaborated for me, "You always have this hard look in your eye, scowling at the world. But when you're around the horses, it's like you have a soft spot for the beasts." He chuckled, patting me on the shoulder. I suppressed a flinch at the contact. I was not used to compliments. Did I mention that? I'm sure I did.

"I-I'll try my best, sir!" I blurted awkwardly, straightening my posture.

"Alright, let's start with teaching you how to yell around at these hooligans." He was referring to the other stablehands, who didn't seem at all surprised that he was having this talk with me. My stare turned flat, had  _they_  known too? I must have either been really clueless or deaf, because it seemed that I was the only one that hadn't caught wind of this.

_I didn't know it at the time, but it was my hard work and determination that had caught the eye of the old man. I couldn't even see it in myself, but it seemed as though everyone else did._

And that's the day it began. My apprenticeship under the Horsemaster Dennet. He was surprised at how much I actually knew about them, as he quizzed me on nonsensical things such as the body parts or behavior patterns. The old man must have thought he would have to teach me more, but once he learned I actually used to live on a farm he seemed to understand. I knew a lot and when I was a girl I used to just  _love_  horses.

It also helped that I'd had a thirst for knowledge back then and would read anything and everything that interested me. The librarians at my school had loved my little pudgy self as I would check out non-fiction about things ranging from; horses, animals, the stars, planets, earth, weather patterns, and all the like. They would even go as far as to special order me some books that I found interesting.

It was like my passion for drawing. As soon as I was able to pick up a pencil, I drew. Horses, to be exact. Animals were my focal point back then. I'd eventually eased my way up to people after I hit middle school. I can't remember when, but that passion had died out. It wasn't until I came  _here_  that I started to regain that feeling. My love for horses and drawing, that is.

It was a nice change.

* * *

I spent days under his tutelage, trying my hardest to meet his expectations. Everytime I asked questions, he didn't seem to mind as he answered them at length. While I was down in the stables most of the time, I hardly ever got to see my friends. Though I had caught wind that Bull had blamed Sera for what had happened. Said that she got him too drunk.

Tensions had been running high and the Inquisition was gearing up to lead an attack on someplace called Adamant. It was the day before and Lynn had planned to throw a small get-together of some sort between the occupants of Skyhold. There would be drinks and a feast.

"Alright, you. Meet me in my room, you've got a bet to pay up." Sera smirked down at me from the doorway to the stables. I stared at her, blank expression on my face. She scrunched up her nose, "Might wanna wash up first, yeah? Ya stink like shite."

"I'm way over here." I commented blandly, there was no way she could smell me all the way over there. Not that I was disagreeing. I'd been cleaning stables all day and probably smelled like horse poo and sweat. I wiped my brow and scowled at her. She shook her head and walked away, the door shutting softly as she left.

I don't know what she had planned for me, but I didn't have a good feeling about it. When it came to Sera... things were to be unexpected.


	10. Calm Before the Storm

After I'd cleaned up and gotten dressed in new clothes for the night, I found myself up in Sera's room on the second floor of the tavern. The windows here were big, and gave me a view of what was left of the sun outside. It was dusk and the light was just now starting to die out. Even though the animals outside were heading in for the night to sleep, the inside of the Herald's Rest was jumping with activity. The small party that Lynn had scheduled would happen tonight. Food and refreshments were being put out and the bard on the first floor was playing her instrument.

Lynn was standing next to me, her hands folded daintily in front of her. She always had this small smile on her face, like she was always happy. The young elf offered me a nod as I entered Sera's room. Though, there was no Sera to be found.

"Do you know what she has planned for us...?" I dared to ask, my eyes squinting at the closed door to the small room. There were books and pillows strewn about and I could still hear the people and the music below my feet.

"Not at all." She shook her head, but didn't look at all worried. I frowned, taking a seat on the bench next to the open window. The window opened up to a roof ledge, which oddly gave me the urge to climb around out there. Though I decided against it, because I have bad luck and I'd probably end up falling and breaking my neck.

Soon enough, Lynn had to light a few of those candle lantern things in the room here so we could see. I'd have thought it would be harder to see even with the fire for a light, but it lit up the room quite nicely. I silently noted that I should acquire one of those, since I'd been using candles this whole time.

"Are you ready!?" Sera burst into the room and closed the door swiftly. I saw her holding something that was folded in her arms. Clothing, I realized. My eyes widened when I saw the frills and soft red colors. Confirming my theory, she flipped one out for us to see with a huge grin on her face.

"Barmaids!" Sera sounded gleeful (probably at the amount of  _embarrassment_  she was about to have us go through) as she held possibly the ugliest dress I'd ever seen. Well, most girls might disagree. Any dress in my eyes was considered ugly. It looked similar to the one that the barmaids wore around here. It wasn't as revealing as the dresses back home, by any means. But over  _here_ , it would make me look like a fucking wench. God damn it, Sera! I stared at her with a flat glare,

"No." I refused instantaneously. The thing wouldn't look good on me anyway, I was still kind of chubby. Well … not too chubby, since I'd lost weight since I'd arrived. I still did not have the 'flat tummy' that most girls back home desired. That's why I stole food from time to time. The cook didn't like me, since he often chased me out of the kitchens. A girl's gotta keep her figure, ya know?

"Lyn... You agreed on this bet. You're not the kind of person that goes back on her word, are you?" Lynn reasoned, looking at me with an almost disappointed look on her face. My face fell, shit. She had me there. Why the hell did she have to act as the voice of reason? Especially with those big innocent grey eyes.

"No..." My shoulders slumped as I stared at the ground. There was a reason I wore baggy clothes! Even now, I made sure that I grabbed men's tunics and my pants were always made for men. Because that way nothing would hug my curves.  _This_...

It did. After I'd been forced into the thing, it definitely did hug all of the curves on my body. The sleeves fell off the side of my shoulders, showing them off, and it was so damn low cut that if I looked down I could see my cleavage barely peeking through. The thing made my boobs pop out more than I was comfortable with. It fell just passed my knees and was finished off with some rather uncomfortable boots. I grasped some of the ruffles at my side and suppressed an embarrassed blush. Fucking hell. Instead I settled with scowling as I stared up at Sera through my black rimmed glasses.

"Holy shite! You  _do_  have a body underneath all of those clothes!" She yelled, making my scowl deepen. I wasn't allowed to wear my sports bra, which usually served to make my chest look smaller. I didn't have that luxury today.

I let out a grumble and looked over at Lynn who also looked kind of surprised.

"Is it really that  _odd_  that I have a feminine figure?!" I hissed silently, trying not to yell. Lynn nodded,

"Your clothes hide … a lot." Was the wavy haired elf's reply.

"This dress makes your girls look huuuuge." Sera giggled crazily as she covered her mouth with her hands. I let out a scoff as I look back at her to say something mean, but bit my tongue to keep myself quiet. I think some part of me didn't want to ruin Sera's fun. I'd grown a bit attached to the blonde elf girl and she looked especially happy right now. Me running my mouth would only serve to upset her and despite the fact that I really  _hated_  this. I didn't want to ruin my friend's moment.

That didn't mean I wouldn't get her back tenfold for this. I was going to find a way. I always found a way...

Lynn looked significantly better in this thing than I did. Her thin frame fit into it quite nicely, showing off what little curves she did have. She was petite and her rust colored waves ran loose past her bare shoulders. The soft red color of the dress seemed to bring out the red in her hair, now that I think of it. She looked stunning and despite my lack of interest in looking beautiful, myself, I found I was a bit jealous. I'd long ago accepted the fact that I was plain and would always be, so it didn't bother me anymore.

Speaking of Lynn, she was looking over at Sera with a jealous glint in her eye. Huh, I guess that went both ways. Though her girlfriend had been paying me more attention just now, probably unintentionally. I didn't know that she was even capable of feeling negative emotions like that! I hope she won't rip my face off, oh Gods. The blonde elf noticed and her face fell and she frowned.

"Awe, no! Inky, I didn't mean it!  _Really_." She coos, walking up to Lynn and smoothing her hair down gently with her hands. Lynn beams at her with her white teeth showing and gives Sera a kiss. I let out a fake gag at the heartwarming scene in front of me.

"Get a room, you two!" I yell out, backing up toward the door. I really do  _not_  want to be in here if they start getting freaky. I was, afterall, in  _Sera's_  room. So technically they were in a room. Oh Gods, help me.

"Maybe we will..." Lynn purred, wiggling her eyebrows. I could feel the horrified look spread across my features.

"Oooohhoho. Later. Later." Was Sera's reply before she turned around and walked to the door. I scurried behind her to get out as fast as I could. When we finally left, I peeked over the railing and saw everyone from the inner circle scattered around on the first floor along with a few well known scouts and recruits. They were all mingling in their own small little groups. I gulped and started to fidget. I was going to go down there in  _this_  thing? Fucking hell.

"What's the matter, Screechie. Losing your nerve?" Sera jeered, poking me with her thin little finger. I hissed and stumbled away.

"For your information, these dresses are considered  _modest_  back where I come from. So you can shove it!" I flicked her off and trotted toward the stairs.

"Don't forget, you have to serve drinks for Cabot tonight!" She called, making me groan in response. I hate my life.

* * *

I think I know why the tavern was much bigger than I had remembered in game, now. Because if it had been as big as I'd expected, it wouldn't have been able to fit this many people. The torchlight and lanterns lit up the room quite nicely, casting a warm glow on everything. The fireplace in the middle of the room seemed to keep everything warm. Everyone seemed to have their own place to be, sitting in small groups at their respective tables and chatting amongst themselves.

One upside to this, I suppose, is that I wouldn't have to be subjected to trying to find a group to sit with. I had to, instead, make sure everyone had what they needed and blah blah. I hated it, so my face was stuck in a permanent scowl.

I was only an hour into the party when I started to feel worn down. From the baffled looks I'd gotten from most of the people when I'd first entered, I simply wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. They seemed to understand, though, when they saw Lynn come down the stairs alongside a giggling Sera. The blonde elf was known for her shenanigans and she'd looped us both into this one. I really regretted taking that bet, now.

Lynn was, as usual, her charismatic self and would serve drinks and chat with the people in the room. Her smile seemed to light up the room wherever she was. Since she was the Inquisitor, she was not subjected to any perverted stares or ass grabbing (which I'd expected would happen). But it didn't happen. Not for me, either, which was a surprise at first.

Then there were a few scouts that had decided to get drunk. One in particular, decided it would be a good idea to try and flirt with me. I hadn't noticed at first, but when he commented on my nice 'rack' it kind of clicked into place. I wanted to laugh, because it was only when someone was  _drunk_  that they would even think to flirt with someone like  _me_. I sneered at him and gave him the cold shoulder.

The stupid scout didn't seem to get the message, so he instead opted to grab my butt. It wasn't just a little smack either, he actually  _grabbed_  it. My face turned red and I turned my furious gaze back at him as he looked up at me with a shit-eating grin.

He looked like he was about to say something, but I didn't let him. I punched him in the face. My fist collided with the middle of his forehead with a loud ' _ **THWAP**_ ', sending him sprawling backward onto the ground. The stool he'd been in clattered to the ground as his legs lay awkwardly atop the fallen piece of furniture. I flicked my hand a little, feeling my knuckles starting to bruise up. What surprised me the most, was the fact that he only twitched a few times before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out. His friends, which were sitting next to him and drinking were staring at him in awe.

Just when I thought I was going to get jumped and beaten for hurting their friend, they burst into fits of hysterical laughter.

"What a frigging idiot! Bastard deserved it!" One of them said between his cackles. The others seemed to agree. Shrugging it off, I walked back toward the bar counter to calm my nerves. Stupid. Shit eating, cunt. Fuck. I grabbed a glass of water and began to drink it.

"That man wanted to take your clothes off." I heard Cole's voice from beside me, sounding as if he were talking about the weather. The statement made me spit my drink out in a small spray as it arced in front of me and hit the wall. I whipped around with a disgusted look on my face.

"H-He what!?" I squawked, coughing to get the remnants of fluid out of my throat, only earning an affirmative nod from the blonde spirit. He didn't seem at all phased by what he'd said, his face set in a passive expression.

"Thick rusty waves cascade, gently framing a cute round face. He thought you were beautiful so -"

"He was  _drunk_." I drawled, not wanting to hear about the man's thoughts. I didn't want to know what else had been going on in that man's perverted head.

"He's not the only one." Cole blinked his blue eyes and tilted his head, "One man wondered what your lips tasted like." I choked, taking a step back.

"C-Cole!" I stuttered out, "I don't... That doesn't matter. It's not.."

He nodded, as if agreeing. "Looking doesn't matter, but it does. It's confusing. Everyone looks and sees. Yet at the same time they don't. It's what's inside that matters."

"That's true … Unfortunately, that isn't how people work." I sighed and shook my head.

"They told you because your body was different, you were ugly. Because  _you_  are different. Say it enough times and you begin to believe it. But they were  _wrong_ , you know." He explained, his blue eyes seemingly staring right through me. I couldn't seem to open my mouth to speak back. It was obvious he was digging through my head, the root of why I thought this way about myself. "When you were younger, you always said ...  _'Everything is beautiful in it's own way.'_  Doesn't that apply to you, too?"

I never usually seemed to mind how he just seemed to  _know_  things. But at that moment, I felt kind of exposed. Defenseless. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, to be completely honest. My eyes would flick around, making sure no one was hearing but they all seemed too busy doing something to even notice anyone else. That's something I've never even told anyone. Nor would I, ever. No one knew, save my aunt, what I was like when I was younger. More naive about the world.

But those men were drunk, and I didn't believe their thoughts were what they would be if they were sober. It was kind of like beer goggles. Hah. It happened quite often, actually. It was probably just drunken nonsense. I was maybe cute at best, but  _beautiful_? Not a chance. I wanted to scoff at the idea.

"But it  _is_  true." He squinted his eyes as if concentrating, trying to convince me otherwise. "They are usually afraid to approach you. Always glaring at the world. Head held high. Intimidating. But that's what makes you … you."

I could feel my face start to flush, coming to a full realization of what it was we were talking about. I was convinced I was plain and people couldn't see me as anything other than that. But Cole was trying to convince me otherwise. I felt flattered, really. Even though I knew it was just in his nature to do so, I couldn't help it and allowed myself to smile up at him.

It was the thought that counts, right?

**Third Person**

Krem has been sitting next to the Iron Bull, as usual. Instead of sitting around in his plate armor, like he usually did, he was wearing a simple loose pair of shirt and pants. Though he still had his sword strapped to his side from the belt that he was wearing. The rest of the Chargers were seated at their rather large table in the back corner of the tavern. Varric and Blackwall had decided to join them at some point and were now eating and talking to his boss. The Qunari seemed to enjoy their company as he laughed and joked merrily.

Krem had been eying the wavy haired girl from across the room for awhile now. After seeing her come down in a dress, which seemed really uncharacteristic of her, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Some had commented quietly that she looked like a tavern wench, but kept it low because the Inquisitor was wearing the same thing. He disagreed, however. It was odd, he was so used to seeing Lyn in men's clothes with that scowl on her face that he'd grown so accustomed to.

She was standing across the room by the bar table, arms crossed and scowling up at a rather lanky looking blonde kid with a huge hat. They were talking and he let out a sigh.

"I wonder what she looks like when she smiles..." Krem muttered, gaining the attention of a few from the table. Varric and Blackwall looked over at who he was gazing at.

" _No_."

"No you don't..."

Was their simultaneous reply. They were both remembering that time back at camp when Lyn had put honey in Sera's shoes. Her evil smirk had made Varric shudder and Blackwall had felt rather uneasy. Krem was rewarded for his patience, though, as he saw her face flush as she stared up at the blonde boy in disbelief. Her scowl seemed to slowly melt away as they continued to talk.

They seemed to chat for a little while before he saw a soft smile spread across her face, completely changing the way she looked. It was almost as if the surly woman he knew had flew away into the wind and was replaced with someone different. Though he knew that wasn't the case. He took a sharp intake of breath as he gawked with wide eyes, his face covering with a blush of his own. The only word that seemed to come to mind as he stared was –

"Damn..." He didn't even know it was possible for her to make that kind of face. Varric looked over, as well, and seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Well... shit." The dwarf put eloquently.

**First Person**

After the damn party was over and most of the people were gone, I had promptly stripped the thing off and threw it outside of my window from upstairs, setting it on fire. Sera, at the time, was standing on the first floor and had seen it float down into the training area through the window in the tavern. She jumped out said window and tried to put it out, but it was pretty singed and was beyond repair. She looked up at me with a glare. The blonde rogue yelled so loud, I could hear her clear as day from the third floor.

"Lyn, you areshole! You owe me money!" But I only stuck my tongue out and made a ' _pbbbth_!' noise. It must have confused Lynn, hearing Sera curse her name, because I heard her reply from the bottom floor through the open window.

"Whaaat? What did I do?!" She sounded so pitiful and I saw Sera's expression change from anger to confusion.

"N-No! The  _other_  Lynn! Urrrgh!" Sera ruffled her blonde hair in frustration, her face scrunching up. She'd made her girlfriend sad and probably didn't know how to deal with the situation any better than I did. This got a laugh out of me as I slammed my window shut and threw myself on the bed.

The night seemed to pass by a lot smoother after my talk with my little spirit friend. He always seemed to have this way of making me feel better. I only hoped I could return the favor, somehow. Knitting my eyebrows, I stared down at my sketchbook that was sitting on my lap. I'd drawn a few more things since I'd gotten it. Just a few random sketches I'd tried, but they never seemed to come out. I just couldn't seem to make myself draw. It wouldn't come as easily to me as it had in the past and I didn't know why.

When I woke up the next day, it was to the sounds of people bustling around outside. I knew that today was the dreaded day where the Inquisition forces would march on Adamant. I swiftly hopped out of bed and started to get dressed for the day, knowing I would have to saddle up many horses with the other stablehands and make sure they were all fit for duty.

As I continued to work that day, I was thinking about the possibilities of what would happen when they left. I didn't even completely remember what happens at the place they were going to, which made me feel really uneasy. What if someone died? One of my friends? I could feel my stomach start to churn at the thought.

I happened to be walking out of the stables as the small group of Lynn's friends that were accompanying her stood idly on their horses waiting for some of the others to arrive. I blinked, feeling the need to see them off and wish them luck, I started to slowly walk up to them.

Dorian's horse was standing next to Sera's as he stared at her, "Did you cut your own hair?" He'd asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" She picked a few pieces of dirt from beneath her nails, looking up at him with a passive expression on her face.

"You could try using something other than a rusty butter knife..." Dorian had commented, obviously making a jibe at how uneven her hair looked. Heh. Rusty butter knife. I almost wanted to laugh, but kept my amusement under wraps as I stood nearby.

"Oh, excuse me while I dig up my diamond-studded hair-cutting whatevers." Sera looked up at him and wrinkled her nose.

"Scissors. The word you're looking for is  _scissors_." Dorian drawled.

"Pppbbth!" Sera stuck out her tongue, grabbing her horse's reins and leading it away from him. As she turned, she caught sight of me. "Oh hey there, Screechie." She greeted and I nodded up to her. Her white horse came to a stop nearby, it's nose almost in my face. I held my hand up and gave it a gentle pet.

"I just came to wish you poor bastards some luck." I grumbled, looking up at her then to the rest of them. Most of them seemed occupied with something or another, but I did notice Cole turn around from his own horse and tilt his head. "Yes, you too Cole."

"I'll try." Was his short reply.

I grunted, "Just come back in one piece. Both of you."

* * *

When they'd left, I was still sitting at Skyhold with barely any other people. Most of the soldiers and scouts had taken off, along with the Inquisitor and her party. A few from the inner circle of hers had stayed, as per her orders, but other than that it was oddly quiet around the base when they left.

Which means I was stuck finishing off whatever work I had left in the stables. Stuck in my thoughts. My doubts. I was scared for my friends and I don't even know how I'd be able to take it if one of them were to die.

So, in order to keep myself from fretting like an old mother hen I started to think about some of the stuff that had happened since I've arrived here in this world.

I'd made friends, for one. I went through lots of shit, that's for sure. Found a place where I belong and it was good work, too. The Inquisition paid a nice amount, from what I've heard from the other stablehands, for working for them. It was far better than I'd had it at home, despite the life threatening events that happened quite often.

I was thinking about all of the people I've met and my friends, but my thoughts seemed to always drift to the blonde spirit. I still didn't know what to make of that, to be honest. I found myself thinking about him a lot. I also reacted differently to his comments and observations. Had Sera been the one to try to convince me that I was beautiful the other night, I would have just scoffed and brushed it off. But … that's  _not_  how I reacted. It kind of unsettled me.

It was like my mind was telling me one thing, but my body another. With it's unusual bouts of anxiety and bursts of happiness at the smallest of things. Like when he smiles or that morning when I woke up to him running his fingers through my hair (still wanted to know why he'd done that, but was too scared to ask).

As if on cue, my face turned red at the thought of that morning. It was completely unexpected. I'd woken up to him sitting nearby before, but … he'd never willingly made physical contact with me. If anything, he seemed just as uncomfortable as I was with it. Yet, here I was, enjoying the way it had felt. How it was almost calming. I liked it and I found that I wouldn't mind if he did it more. I fiddled around with a rope and hung it up near the tack, turning to walk out toward the barn.

It kind of reminded me of how people were when they were dating, now that I think of it. I froze near the door to the stables, hands held halfway up as if to grab the handle. Always blushing and smiling at eachother like idiots. I squeaked. Did I have  _feelings_  for him?

_No. That's impossible._

I've had … feelings for someone before. This was  _different_. Well, I thought I did anyway. I had a boyfriend in highschool once, but like the others he had left me as well. No one seemed to stay in my life for too long, it seemed. But not once had I ever felt all giddy or as desperate for acceptance as I am when I'm around Cole.

The thought scared me. Not only because it was so foreign to me, but because I knew it was  _impossible_  for him to even return those feelings. He simply wouldn't understand it, because of his spirity-ness. Or so I thought. So I shoved it in the back of my head and continued on throughout the day, refusing to think about it again.


	11. Boiling Point

Back in my world, I'd only gotten far enough into the game to ally with the Grey Wardens. I knew that the mission had something to do with the Fade and all that jazz, but ever since they'd returned everyone has been acting oddly. Which was saying a lot, since everyone from the inner circle had their own little quirks.  _Odd_  was kind of a thing around here.

Sera had been thoroughly freaked out and refused to even talk about the event. As if talking or thinking about it would make it worse or make it come true. I had hastily apologized and told her I didn't know it bothered her that much. Lynn had come in not long after and they started to argue, so I left as quickly as possible.

Bull was acting all weird, too. Since he was drinking more and didn't seem to want to talk much about it either.

What bothered me, though, was that Cole was avoiding me. I'd tried to walk up and talk to the spirit, but he would see me and just … disappear. At first I'd thought that he had something to do or someone to help, but it's happened a total of three times now. Each time he'd see me, eyes wide, and just leave. It kind of hurt, to be honest. But I chose not to address that. He obviously had a reason, right?

This has been going on for two days now and I was at my wit's end. Which is why I am currently on a mission to look for him, whether he liked it or not. As his friend, I would find out what it was that was troubling him so and do my best to help him out. It is, afterall, what he would do for me. Right?

**Third Person**

The Grey Wardens had been using blood magic to bind demons to raise an army. The thought was scary in it of itself. Especially to Cole, who had been deeply disturbed by the mission. He had been begging Solas to bind him, so that the Grey Warden mages couldn't. So that he couldn't be used to hurt anyone. If the someone bound him to use him to hurt people, he wouldn't be him anymore but …. something else entirely. The Inquisitor promised to find a way to help him, but in the mean time he had to wait. Who knows how long he had to wait? What if they were too late?

He had seen Lyn come up to greet him after they'd returned, eyes alight and happy to see everyone still in one piece, but he'd thought of what would happen if he was somehow bound and controlled. His mind immediately conjured a rather grisly image that he didn't even want to think about at the moment. The same image that had been shown to him in the Fade by that Fear demon. He would end up  _hurting_  her. If he hadn't been scared already, _that_  definitely set him off. Panicked, he disappeared and went somewhere else. Anywhere but near her.

Cole couldn't bear the thought of hurting his friend. She'd learned of what he was capable of in her stories back home, she told him. She also knew  _what he had done_. The deeds he'd committed in the White Spire sometimes came back to him. Haunting him. The fact that she hadn't gotten scared and left was … intriguing. He was extremely grateful that she'd seen him as he is and not what he was. She'd said  _'_ _Who_ _you are now is what matters.'_

Lyn was important to him, that much he knew. She was his friend. Which was why, every time she tried to approach him he would run away. The last time he'd done it, he could feel the hurt she felt. Scared. Doubting. _'What if he leaves me too?' 'Had I been wrong?'_  He squeezed his eyes shut as he stood atop the Templar tower in Skyhold. Cole knew at least, if the Inquisitor was too late with that amulet... They would  _end_  him. Prevent him from ever hurting anyone.

It was the middle of the day, so the sun was in the middle of the sky sending it's warm rays down upon him. Birds singing in the distance, clouds rolling by slowly. It was beautiful out. Though he couldn't seem to find comfort in that.

"Cole?" He heard Lyn's voice from near the stairs of the tower. He turned toward her, shocked. How had he not heard her? Then again, she had always been kind of difficult to hear. Her thoughts, that is. Almost dimmed. Hard to read. He turned around, about to bolt. Disappear and hide again. Only to be stopped by her hand squeezing his shoulder.

"Stop! Will you at least talk to me?!" The redhead yelled, turning him around to face her, voice wavering ever so slightly. "What has gotten into you?"

"Don't." He muttered, backing away. He saw the look on her face morph into pain. The pain she was currently feeling on the inside. Aching in her chest.  _'Not again please.'_  Lyn hardly ever  _actually_  showed what she was feeling on the inside. Face usually schooled into a dull or angered expression. Only rarely, when they were alone. But this. It was clear as day.

She wouldn't have it. She wouldn't allow him to hide away until he was safe. Safer for her. Lyn walked forward, grabbing his arm again, face set into determination.

"I'm your friend. I said I'd be here for you..." She began, "You can tell me what's wrong. I can help."

No. Not as he was right now. She couldn't help him. The only way he'd be safe is with that amulet and if she happened to be nearby if he was ever bound and controlled. Cole knew that Lyn wouldn't have it in her to kill any of her friends, which included him. She's killed in the past, and they were enemies, but even then she was plagued with nightmares quite often. The thought of him being the one to kill her. She would likely… just stand there and let him.

"Don't touch me!" Cole's voice was rushed as he ripped his arm away. "You can't...  _be here_. I - I could … hurt you. No."

And he was gone. He tried to make himself forget the expression that had made it's way on her face. Her pain. It was  _loud_ , this time. It practically  _screamed_  at him as he left. He'd wanted to go back and tell her it would be alright and that when he was safe they could talk and 'hang out' (as she called it) again. But he couldn't. Not yet.

**First Person**

Fuck. Not again. Shit. I couldn't take this again.  _Not again._  It felt like a black hole had formed, threatening to tear me apart. Tears formed in my eyes, but I wouldn't let them. I won't let it. It won't. My emotions were like a snowball over this passed month, getting bigger and bigger. Angrier and angrier. Weighing me down, more and more. Now it felt like they were finally about to fly out of my control.

If you've ever felt abandonment before in your life, either from a close friend or a parent/relative. Like I had, long  _long_  ago. It becomes your biggest fear. Your biggest pain. It's something that scares you and you never want it to happen ever again. Some people cope with it by surrounding themselves with friends and people, to fill the aching void it causes. Some, like me, build walls to keep people away.

There were few people, who I'd occasionally let in and befriend. Sure. But year after year, friend after friend, it seemed so tiring to simply watch them walk away without a second glance back. Like I was somehow disposable to them. The feeling I was feeling now was similar to every time that had happened, the only difference was that I felt angry. Miserable. I'd allowed this to occur when I had made a promise to myself that I would never let it happen, again.  _But it did._

"You can't just do this!  _God damn it!_ " I howled, screaming in anger. I refused to believe that it was agony that I was feeling. Anguish. No. This was anger. Always anger. Fury. I was furious. It was easier to deal with.

True friendship is kind of like sound health, really. No one really knows the value of it until it has been lost. I hadn't realized how important he was to me until he disappeared on the top of the tower that day. Cole had been the only person that actually sat down and bothered to listen to me. He was there for me, whether he knew it or not. Just as I was for him. I was taking heavy breaths as I leaned forward on the stone that overlooked the garden just below. My hands squeezed the cold brick as I tried to force myself not to cry.

This is so  _stupid_. I'd allowed myself to get close to someone, in such a short amount of time too, knowing what could happen. It always happened, eventually. Either they got bored of you or they just … left. Just like he did. Just now.

Something in the back of my mind was telling me I was irrational, that I needed to stop and think about this. That it wasn't like him to be like that. But logic and reasoning had been thrown aside in favor of the rage I felt. I felt it more toward myself, than him, really. I felt so weak, so useless. It wasn't just  _this_  that was making my thoughts spiral downward. It was the thought that I am unable to do anything useful in this world. I can't even defend myself correctly and I've almost died multiple times. I hated it. But what I hated the most, right now, was that the fact that I've just been pushed away by a dear friend.

He didn't have to just push me away like that. I turned around and stomped down the stairs, seeing a few men in Templar armor as I left. They moved aside swiftly, letting me pass.

I didn't understand. I thought … He was the last person I believed would just –

I slammed the door to the Herald's Rest open, eyes full of the resentment I felt for myself. I walked up to Bull and looked at him as he sat at his table with the rest of his Chargers. He was currently in the middle of a card game with Krem and Dalish, the female elf.

"Need somethin?" He asked, not bothering to look up at me, fiddling with a few cards in his hand.

"Spar with me." A simple statement. Krem snorted,

"I don't think that's a good idea." He muttered, "Chief doesn't go easy."

"I didn't ask him to go easy on me.  _Just spar with me_." I ground out, looking down at him. My vision was blurry.

"Sorry, kid. I don't feel like beating the crap out of you." He chuckled, putting down a few cards. "Full house."

I punched him in the face. I knew I would regret this later, but my emotions were clouding my judgment. I could feel the haze of senselessness that blinded me. I only saw one thing, and that was that I wanted to focus on something else. The only way I knew how to.

To be fair, Bull didn't even look phased by the fact that I'd just punched him across the face. Though, I knew that I hadn't put much force behind it. It was only meant to rile him up. Krem had choked on something, maybe a drink. Or his own spit. I didn't know. I think I heard a  _'shit...'_ muttered from over there, but paid it no heed. The Qunari looked over at me, cracking his neck. I couldn't even decipher what he was feeling, as his face was completely blank.

"Kid..." He stood up and grabbed me by the back of my shirt and lifted me up, dragging me outside of the tavern. I didn't struggle once, as I let my feet dangle beneath me.

"Chief... she didn't mean it..." Krem tried to reason as I heard the clattering of a few set of footsteps behind us.

"Yes. She did." He tossed me, sending me rolling across the dirt in front of the training dummies behind the tavern. I grunted, but scrambled into a standing position. "Well? I'm waiting." Bull held out his arms, looking to me. He didn't even look angry, which only served to piss me off. The fucker wasn't even taking me seriously!

I screeched and ran toward him, lifting my arm to deal a punch to his stomach. He let me, a few times. He didn't even grunt as I blindly struck out at him. Fucking hell! I was thrown out of my world,  _here_ , completely unprepared. Accused of being a spy, was locked up and almost got killed by Leliana, burned and almost died of infection, almost died  _again_  from Venatori, and …

"My turn." Bull's voice was even as he grabbed me, again, and tossed me about five feet away. I went tumbling, only letting out a few grunts as I felt my body get scratched up and bruised. I stood back up and threw myself at him. He didn't let me hit him this time, instead opting for cloths lining me which sent me to the ground on my back right next to his feet. The rocks and stone beneath me felt unforgiving as I felt my ass make contact first, then my back and then my head.

"Guh!" I coughed, looking up and feeling my vision waver. That fucking hurt.

"You done yet?" He asked, tilting his head. His massive horns glinted as the sun shone on them. I could hear some people talking nearby, but I was too focused on  _this_.

"No." I growled, rolling away and standing up. My body felt like it was on fire. I noted the warm liquid I felt rolling down my left arm. Likely from hitting the rocks. I, once again, threw myself at him. Right hand raised to hit him with an uppercut. Bull was about to swing at me, as I slid to the left and twisted my body to land a blow to his side with my elbow instead. He stumbled to the side, letting out a surprised sound.

Before I knew it, he had slammed his massive fist into my stomach. I bit my tongue in the process. The blow sent me to the ground. He wouldn't have it, though, and he grabbed me by the scruff of my shirt again. The Qunari slammed me against the armory building, my face connecting with the stone with a loud ' _ **THUD**_ '. I felt my lip split, but I wasn't registering the pain right now. He had my arms behind my back as I wriggled around and hissed. I felt my lip bleeding from the split as I tried to look behind me to get back at him.

He turned and tossed me again, sending me to my knees. I felt rocks and dirt as they dug into the soft skin of my palms. I squeezed my hands into fists, feeling some of the dirt come with it. I was about to get back up but was stopped by a woman's gruff voice.

"That's  _enough_!" Cassandra's feet were now on my right as she stood in the way to keep Bull from continuing. Or, rather, me from getting back up to allow myself to get kicked around like a rag doll.

"Feel any better, kid?" I heard Bull ask as I sat straighter in my kneeling position. I just sat there and stared at the ground. He seemed …. concerned. I had just punched him and forced him to spar with me. To beat me up. And he was  _concerned_. The absurdity was laughable, but I was in no mood to laugh.

I just sat there, a listless look on my face. I could feel the amount of bruises and injuries that I'd gotten and  _he didn't even try_. I'm sure if he had, that last punch would have likely busted an organ. I had no doubt about that.

I started to breathe heavily, my chest quivering with some raw emotion I couldn't identify, but I forced myself to focus on my body. It was a mental game. Redirect pain, deal with emotions later. The pain that my body was feeling at this moment was what mattered. The busted lip I'd acquired was leaking blood down my chin. Mixed in with the blood already coming out of my mouth from my tongue. I think I may have taken a small chunk out.

Cassandra knelt next to me, her face coming into view. Her usual scowl was gone as she examined my injuries with a straight face. "Lyn. What has gotten into you?"

I spat blood on the ground near my knees, blinking a few times to clear my vision. When had it gotten blurry again? Well, blurrier. My glasses had fallen off somewhere. "Nothing. I'm fine now." I sounded blank as I pushed onto the ground and stood up. I glanced up at Bull. He was looking down at me, same expression from before.

"You're crying, you know." Cassandra stated, as if it should be obvious. I shrugged it off, walking up and patting Bull on the arm.

"I owe you one."

"You've got spirit, gotta give you that. Your form was shit, though." He cracked a smile at me. "You know … when I said you could have me kick someone's ass, I didn't mean  _you_." He added at the end, and I responded with a nod and walked away to clean myself up. Rocks were currently lodged in my skin in several places. Scuffs and cuts everywhere. I was bleeding from a few odd places and I could already feel my body starting to bruise up.

Good. This is  _good_.

**Third Person**

Bull watched the girl get up and walk away, a despondent look on her face. He'd seen those looks before, but never thought he'd see it on hers. Lyn always seemed so fierce, lit up like fire. Face set in a permanent scowl and the way she held herself practically screamed  _'Don't mess with me.'_ Had she been born in this world, he had no doubt she would have made a fine warrior. When she walked into the Herald's Rest just moments ago, he instantly knew something was wrong with her. He'd caught a glimpse of the pained expression that she held. It only served to confirm his theory when the little girl had punched him!  _Her_.

Now he knew she was well known for hitting people when she was pissed at them, but usually only when they deserved it. He was kind of pissed, yeah, but the punch didn't even hurt. Almost like it had no power behind it. That's another thing. He'd seen her punch his lieutenant, Krem. So he knew she could throw a mean punch. But the punch she'd delivered to Bull wasn't out of malice or anger toward him.

This was something similar to the coping method lots of soldiers used, now that he thought about it. They would fight it out. Or in her case …

She had purposely tried to rile him up so he would beat the crap out of her.

 _Why?_  He didn't know, but he could tell when he threw her onto the ground the first time that she wasn't going to give up. Lyn hadn't even allowed the pain to slow her down. The girl got right back up and lunged at him, giving him no time to think. Only react.

Ask and ye shall receive. Bull had thrown the girl around, and in the end she'd seemed calmer. Less angry. More … distant.

**First Person**

The next evening I found myself going to Adan, the resident apothecary and healer. The old man was still around and kicking. He was currently cleaning my wounds on my arms and legs as he wrapped them up.

"Maker's Balls, child. What did you get yourself into this time?" He asked as he seemed to wrap the bandage a little too tight. It  _almost_  sounded like he was concerned. But I'm guessing it was because I had gotten myself hurt, again, and hadn't heeded his warning of keeping myself safe. Didn't he threaten to cut off my legs once? Shaking my head, I glanced at him with dulled eyes.

"Sparring." Was my simple answer.

"Sparring.  _Sparring_?! It looks like you got thrown through a wall. And you say you were  _sparring_? I was not born  _yesterday_." He ground out, going to grab some pain relieving salve for my open wounds. I grabbed his arm and shook my head.

"I'll be fine. The pain isn't that bad." I attempted to reassure him. I'd lied, they hurt like a bitch. He scoffed,

"Whatever it is you're punishing yourself for, I will have no part of it. Just let me do my damned job." I stood up and walked toward the door. "Hey!"

"Thanks, old man. I appreciate it." My voice fell flat as I glanced back at him, my auburn waves covering parts of my face. My brown eyes flicked back out toward the darkening skies. I heard him cursing as he put things back, slamming things into place. I walked out and toward the tavern. As I exited the infirmary, I was promptly doused with water.

Cackling could be heard from beside me and I slowly turned my gaze on Sera. She was standing there with a pitcher, which I assumed had been filled with water. I blinked a few times, then tilted my head slightly.

"Hello, Sera." My voice sounded bland. Somewhere in the back of my head, I was kicking myself for being so weak these past few days. For letting him get under my skin like that and for falling down and refusing to get right back up. I'd always found strength to get back up. Eventually. But right now I just wanted to stay down here, just for a little bit.

"Oh no. No no. Don't do that thing with the eyes." Sera's expression changed from the amusement she had been feeling to almost scared. I could see that she was concerned from the look in her eyes, but she looked completely unsure how to proceed. Though, I was curious.

"What... thing?" I asked, feeling my rusty waves clinging to the side of my face from the water that she'd spilled on me.

"Make me feel like I kicked a puppy, that. What'd Creepy do this time?" I stared with a blank expression, not even knowing how to respond. "You're around it too much. It caused whatever … this is." She motioned to my sorry mental state. I blinked a few more times and looked away.

" _He_  was my friend. Just like you and I, Sera." Was all I could say before I walked over toward the steps. Maybe I just needed to get out of here? For some fresh air.

" _Was_...?" I heard Sera mutter as I walked away.

As I was headed up the stairs, I saw Lynn coming down with a couple of others. Varric, Solas and … Cole.

"Where are you guys headed?" I asked, seeing Lynn's eyes widen in horror.

"What happened to you?!" She trotted up to me, a concerned look on her face.

"Well...shit." Varric murmured, I almost couldn't hear it.

"Your face... it..." Lynn stumbled on her words, her hand coming up to touch my cheek. I shied away,

"Are you going out on a mission?" I  _needed_  to get out, even if  _he_  was there. I needed something. I wanted to fight. More.

"Yes, but..."

"I'm coming, give me a second." I walked by, jogging to the Herald's Rest and up into my room. As I'd jogged off, I didn't dare look at their faces. I couldn't. Especially Cole's. Something told me I'd crack. Break. I couldn't do that, especially now.

I made my way back down toward the entrance to Skyhold, where they had their horses ready. I saw Sera glaring and yelling as I walked down the steps. Once I'd gotten close enough, I heard a few of her words.

"Frigging Idiot, you are! Go rust in a pit for all I care!" She spat as she stomped off, going by me without even making eye contact. I blinked a few times, completely baffled. She'd been yelling at Cole. Had she done that for me?

"Jeez, Kid. What'd you do to piss  _her_  off?" Varric sounded just as baffled as I was.

He didn't get an answer.

My gun was resting in my pocket and my bow and quiver on my back. Despite Lynn's reluctance to allow me to come along, I saw an extra horse ready for me. I nodded my thanks, hopping up on it and following along.

As we were making our way to our destination, I was quietly listening to the banter back and forth between Solas, Varric and Lynn. Cole was in the front, quietly leading the way. From the snippets I've heard, it had something to do with helping Cole do something. I heard a few things about blood magic and binding and something seemed to click in the back of my mind.

Hadn't the Wardens been binding... demons to raise an army? I hadn't remembered that part before, too focused on other things. When Cole had run away the other day, he had said something about hurting me. He'd sounded scared.  _Was that why?_

Would it be possible to bind Cole and use him against the Inquisition? From the way Solas was talking, it was. To bind him would be to make him into something he was not, and he'd pretty much be subject to whatever that person wanted him to do. He could be used to hurt people. This mission they were on was so that they could prevent that from happening. Something hadn't worked and they needed to get something done first.

When we'd made camp that night and I was on my watch, alone. Everyone was asleep, aside from Cole who had been sitting in a tree somewhere. He was oddly focused on getting to our destination. Meanwhile, I was stuck in my thoughts. I started to feel a little embarrassed for my outburst and fully intended to at least apologize to Bull. Even though he didn't seem at all fazed by the fact that I needed a good beating. It seems I had upset Sera, too.

I just hoped that after we were done with whatever it was we were doing, I would have a chance to talk to Cole. I was afraid he would outright reject my friendship, but that didn't seem like him at all. I'd only known him for three months, but he didn't have it in him to purposefully hurt someone he knew didn't deserve it. Though … I still felt doubt. And that doubt felt like it was crushing me.


	12. Fluctuate

We'd gotten off our horses sometime the next day as we made our way up a hill, slowly. The last thing we needed was to get ambushed by enemies, so we remained cautious. I kept my footsteps as silent as possible as I followed close behind.

I didn't know the full reason why he'd done what he did at the time, because my stupid ass didn't think to ask anyone else. It was because he was vulnerable to binding. That was all. I refused to let myself feel anything as I fiddled with the wound on my arm, causing a few jolts of pain to come up to my shoulder. I winced, looking up just in time to see anger make it's way to Cole's face.

It wasn't directed at me, no. He was looking at a man with an odd looking wrap on his head. His mustache was curled slightly as he walked up to get a look at us.

"You..." Cole's voice sounded just as angry as he looked, which startled me greatly. I'd never heard him get  _angry_  before. It was just... "You killed me!" I could hear the anguish in his voice as he appeared in front of the man and looked like he was about to punch him.

My eyes were wide as I stared out at the scene before me. Was he –

"You forgot. You locked me in the dungeon in the Spire, and you forgot, and I died in the dark!"

My breath hitched and I ran forward alongside the others. I wanted to run up to him to try and calm him down, tell him it was alright. But … my feet seemed to freeze before I could.

"Cole, stop!" Solas called as we ran up to him. I listened to Solas and Varric try to calm Cole down, but he was having none of it.

"He killed me! He killed me and I have to kill him back!" He reasoned, his voice raised as he pointed in the direction the man had scrambled off to. Had he? Had the real Cole been killed by that man? He was the reason he was here, like this. He.. My lips thinned as I watched them speak to one another. It's not my place to butt in. This was  _their_  discussion.

I stood there, silently taking in all of this. Who Cole was. How he came to be, as he'd come out of the Fade to help the real Cole. The apostate Cole. It was kind of confusing, to be honest. But I could see why he was angry. I could understand.

"Let me kill him... I need to. I... need to.." I'd never heard Cole with that tone of voice before and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. But Varric had turned around and I heard Lynn and Solas talking about whether or not they should even let him kill the man. I furrowed my brow. Why were they discussing this without him? Didn't  _he_  have any say in this?

"Come on, you can't just forgive someone like that for  _killing_  you." Varric reasoned.

" _You_  don't... but a spirit can." Solas was absolute on his decision. And they continued their debate, back and forth. Until it was Lynn's decision on what to do. The elf looked torn, not knowing how to even answer. I don't know why, but something about this just … it pissed me off.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I growled in disbelief from my place not far away. I gained their attention, "You're just sitting here. Talking to  _eachother_  about his decision? This should be  _his_  choice, not  _ **yours**_. He's not some child that you can control!" I yelled, my brown eyes alight with fury. Even though I wasn't even sure if we were friends anymore, I was still fiercely protective of him. I didn't know why.

"Not control. But if diverted from his original purpose – "

" _Fuck off_ , Solas. This isn't  _your_  decision to make!" I seethed.

I saw Varric nod in my peripheral as he walked over to Cole. Eventually they made their way around the brush. Solas looked furious.

"Do you realize what you've just done?" He turned toward me, disappointment clearly on his features. Lynn stood between us as I glowered at him.

"What I've done was treat him like a living, breathing person. Someone with emotions, just like you or I!"

"Cole is a spirit!"

"Not anymore." I hissed, "If you couldn't tell, he was in  _pain_. Do spirits feel pain? You said so yourself, spirits  _embody_  emotion. Cole is  _different_."

Solas looked down at me with a sneer, "Naive girl, he could become twisted – "

"How about I  _twist_  something else!?" I roared, lunging toward him. I fully intended to beat the shit out of him. His eyes widened in surprise as he took a step back. Before I could get to him, though, Lynn wrapped her arms around me and held me back.

"Stop it! Arguing will get us nowhere! What's done is done." I tried to pull her off a few times before I gave up. For a spindly elf, she was rather strong.

We were silent for awhile, but with tensions running high between Solas and I. It was inevitable, really.

"Ah, I see." The elven man sighed, realization dawning on his face. "You must have feelings for the boy. You'd be so selfish as to let it cloud your decisions? Even at the cost of his life?"

I was about to jump him, but was held back by Lynn again. This time, however, I was trying to push by her with much more force than last time. My hands shook as I tried to push myself away from her, but her grip was stronger than mine.

"What are you implying?!" I yelled, my rage was back and my hands were twitching with the urge to hit the man in front of me.

"He is a Spirit of Compassion, it wouldn't be hard to manipulate him-" Solas was cut off when I spat at him, seeing it land at his feet and completely missing. The bald elf looked rather repulsed by me at the moment, his mouth open slightly as he gazed at my angry face. I can't believe he would even imply that I would use Cole! What kind of sick person does he think I am!? The thought itself disgusted me, so I lashed out once more.

"You seem awfully well versed, Solas. Ever  _used_  someone to get something you needed?" I sneered. I'd only meant to agitate him further, but I saw his gaze turn flat and he turned away. I must have hit home, because he'd signaled the end of the argument.

"I'm done here." Was his only reply as he turned around to walk back to our horses down the hill. My body was still tensed, but eventually I backed away and saw Lynn. She was staring at me with complete disappointment clearly in her eyes, a small frown etched on her usually bright face.

I had gone too far, hadn't I? My angered expression remained but I could feel my face twitch as I felt shame fill my body. I didn't regret that I'd stood up to Solas, but … perhaps I could have handled it better.

Then again, Solas had been egging me on as well. I wasn't  _completely_  at fault. I sighed and kicked the dirt, a frown on my face.

* * *

After they'd come back, we made our trek back to Skyhold. Though, we didn't make it all the way since it had gotten too dark to go on any further. We'd all settled on making camp for the night. Lynn had told us, Solas and I, that she was disappointed in us both and had expected better. Neither of us apologized for our actions, to eachother that is. I apologized to Lynn for being an asshat, but said that I didn't regret my words to Solas. Solas had said something similar and we'd just glared at eachother.

The moon was out, shining brightly down on our little camp. The small fire in the middle flickered and illuminated our faces as we stared into it.

"Why does it hurt? Why won't it stop hurting?" I heard Cole ask for the second time since we'd made camp. Varric was sitting nearby, trying to offer comfort. I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if I'd done the right thing. I only wanted to protect his right to have a choice.  _His_  choice.

"Look, kid. It'll be alright, I promise." Varric was looking up at him from under his hat. I flicked my gaze over toward Solas, who was looking at me with a scowl on his face. The expression he was giving me just then practically screamed,  _'This is your fault.'_

I shook my head, letting out a growl and standing up. I stalked out of the camp and toward where we'd tied up the horses. They were not too far away from camp, but enough to where I was able to get away from the light the fire emitted. Far enough away so that I couldn't hear them talking.

I stood next to the massive animals for awhile, attempting to calm my mind. The torrent of emotions I was feeling at the moment. I couldn't let them get the better of me. Resentment. Anger. Regret. Had I done the wrong thing? Had I just hurt my friend? …. Were we even considered friends anymore...? That last thought made me stumble, eyes widened with grief.

I gritted my teeth and shuffled away from the mammals, standing a distance away by a tree. I stared at them as they tried to sleep, tails flicking back and forth.

I heard footsteps approaching as I stared at the ground, grass swaying to and fro as the wind pushed them. My eyes had adjusted and I could now see everything as it was bathed in the moonlight. It was better out here. Thin leather clad legs made their way into my vision, causing me to turn my gaze up. I was met with the view of Cole as he stared down at me through his blonde locks. Regret coursed through me and I clenched my hands into fists. It was  _my_  fault he was hurt.

"Are you alright, Cole?" I asked softly as I frowned. He wasn't much taller than me, but tall enough so that I could look up and see his face from underneath his hat.

"Are  _you_?" He'd countered, voice sounding much different now. It was almost like it had more inflection. Not as even and composed, like usual. My responding chuckle sounded desolate, even to me.

"I don't even know." I answered honestly. Was I alright? I thought I was handling my entrance to this world just fine, but it seems not. I had a horrible habit of pushing away my problems until they turned into  _bigger_  problems. Now I've ended up dragging poor Cole into this.

"I didn't want to … but I ended up hurting you anyway." My friend murmured from in front of me.

"I hurt you, too, you know."

"You … protected me." His body shifted a little closer, causing me look up at his face again. "We're still friends. Aren't we?"

"That'd be up to you." I could feel the dull ache inching it's way into my body as I remembered what had happened back at Skyhold.

"Yes. I ran and hid. I didn't want to hurt you. You're … important to me." It seemed like it had just dawned on him. I smothered a whimper as I lowered my head to look at the ground. My rusty waves fell in front of my face, blocking my expression. I felt stupid. Stupid for doubting him, now. I didn't stop to think about how he might have seen it and why he did what he did. I felt like a shitty friend, really. I'd just instantly assumed and made an ass out of myself in the process. It seems I tend to do that a lot.

I knew I couldn't hide my expression, and I didn't really want him to see it. My vision blurred and my body started to tremble as I held back a sob. And now I've hurt him, because of the decision earlier today. Something happened, I'm not sure what, but he has been in pain since then. This was too much. It's been far too long since I'd actually let myself cry. And it had to be  _here_. Now, this is kind of embarrassing.

I don't know why I was crying. He said we were still friends, I was relieved. Happy, even. But...

"Lyn..?" He questioned, sounding concerned. I broke down as silently as I could, hating every minute of it. Words seemed to come out of my mouth like word vomit.

"S-Shouldn't friends … help eachother?" My breathing hitched, "I-I only wanted to help. Protect your right to make a- a choice. I'm a shitty friend! All  _I've_  done is hurt you."

"You did what you thought was right." Cole replied silently and I almost couldn't hear him. Even though I was part of the reason for this predicament. He still found it in him to listen without judging. Still offer his friendship and show me the kindness I didn't feel I deserved.

As greedy as it was, I fully accepted the comfort he was offering with his words. My body didn't seem to want to listen to my brain and sought more. I ended up acting purely based on my emotions. Which was unlike me, really. I stumbled forward and pressed my face into his chest, the soft fabric of his shirt pressing against my cheek.

I awkwardly clutched his shirt with my hands. It was  _kind_  of like a hug, I guess. It'd been a long time since I'd done this, as well. I was still but a child when I'd last hugged someone. But it felt nice. Good. I let the tears flow, body shaking as I let my emotions release.

Cole was silent, his posture stiff and unsure as I felt his hands gently rest on my shoulders. Shaking. I don't think he knew what to do either as he pulled me closer, if at all possible. His head rested on top of my own, in my hair. I bit my lip, feeling my wound start to bleed again.

Was this why people hugged eachother all of the time? Whether they were happy or sad. I always saw people cling to their friends, family, lovers. I could never understand what it meant, since I'd stopped doing such simple things long ago. But I could  _see_ , now. All of the negative feelings seemed to ebb away, ever so slowly as we stood there and clutched onto eachother. It was a simple gesture, really. But it seemed to aid in a multitude of things.

We stayed like this for minutes, awkwardly holding eachother. Once my tears stopped and my body finally ceased it's shaking, I slowly tried to detach myself. Though his hands seemed to be cemented onto my shoulders, keeping me in place as I was pressed against him. Cole made a small sound of objection at my wanting to pull away, but I placed my hand in front of me on his chest.

"It's okay.." His grip loosened and I looked up at him. Even in the dim light that the moon had offered, I saw his somber expression as he stared down at me.

 _That_  was different. I'd seen a few emotions flick across his face before, but I don't remember ever seeing him sad like this. The way his eyes looked, filled with … something. I'm not sure, maybe guilt? He must have picked up on my emotions.  _Felt them_ , even. I felt awful. I'd forgotten how sensitive he was to other people's pain and here I was sobbing on his chest. Stupid!

"I'm … really sorry, Cole." I apologized, voice finally without any cracks or pain. I saw his brows knit together in concentration and his eyes flicked around as if examining me more closely. His hand rose up to my face and he brushed the bottom of my lip with his thumb, thin fingers caressing the side of my jaw.

"Me too." He replied lowly. I felt a small sting, from where my lip had busted open. But that was at the back of my mind as I stared up into his blue eyes. We just stood there, gazes locked. It felt like my body froze and I couldn't move at all.

For reasons completely unknown to me, my heart sped up and thumped against my rib cage almost painfully. It wanted to beat it's way out of my chest. My stomach did these weird flips. My brown eyes widened in alarm at these new sensations. Why? Why –

I stood there, battling with myself on the inside about what I should do. This wasn't right, the feelings I was having right now. This was a whole new can of worms that should  _not_  be opened. Not now. Maybe not ever. A choked gasp could be heard from my right, breaking me out of my daze. My head snapped in the direction of the noise and I spotted the slim form of Lynn.

"O-oh. I'm sorry. I just. I-I..." She stumbled on her words and started to fidget clumsily. "M-making sure... you were alright... guys... heh." Lynn chuckled awkwardly as her big grey eyes darted around on anything but the scene before her. My mind instantly conjured up an image of what we must have looked like and my face was set aflame. It was, no doubt, as red as the first car that I'd bought. (Which was dead, by the way. Remember?) But perhaps they wouldn't be able to tell in such poor lighting?

I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what to even say to the elf as she looked toward camp, probably looking for a way out without making things even more awkward than it already was.

"Perhaps it is time to sleep, yes?" I coughed, holding my hand up to my lips. Starting to feel the after effects of whiplash that my emotions had just given me minutes ago.

"Y-yes. Right." She turned around and stumbled around a bit before making her way around the trees and into the camp. I sighed in relief. I certainly hope no juicy gossip would be floating around Skyhold anytime soon.

"You're tired." Cole commented, looking down at me. When I returned his gaze, I could see that his face was composed again. He was different. I don't know how, but … before this. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but his eyes held something different. Foreign to me.

"Are you tired? Wait... wrong question. You don't sleep, right?" I looked off toward the camp, making my way there lazily. I saw him nod in my peripheral, but he otherwise stayed silent. He seemed lost in thought. When we finally entered camp, the fire had been fed and was slightly larger than when I'd left. Varric was seated out by the fire and I didn't see anyone else out. He must have had first watch, then. I waved and trudged toward my tent.

**Third Person**

Everything hurt. That's what Cole thought, after what happened back with the Templar that killed him. Killed the real Cole. He was still angry at the Templar, but Varric had said killing him wouldn't help. It was like the world had shifted from underneath him, forcing him to see things differently. It was more vivid, now. A sharp contrast to what it had been before, like he'd just been simply existing. But now it was like … he was more real. More him. Everything was quieter now, further away. Whispering silently. It was confusing. 

Instead of reaching out and listening to others almost instinctively, it was like his own thoughts and feelings were louder. More prominent. He'd tried to listen to Solas, Lavellan, and Varric – but they seemed quieter. Like it was dulled. It was similar to how Lyn had been before this.

Lyn, however, it seemed he couldn't hear her at all. Almost like she made no ripples, anymore. The stillness had scared him at first, like stagnant water. Dead. But when he'd been walking beside her on the way to set up camp he could hear her again. She was there. Still hurting. Still alive. He'd watched her as she looked at Solas, scowled, then got up and left.

That was when he followed her, intent to find out why she was still hurting.

When Cole had gotten there, he'd moved a bit closer so that he could get a better read on her. Lyn was still in pain over the conversation they'd had up on the Templar tower. She hated herself because she thought she hurt him. _'All my fault' 'Are we even still friends?'_

The last thought made him go still, she'd thought they weren't friends anymore? Was that why she was acting the way she was?

Then what surprised him even more, was when she'd started to cry. He had seen her eyes water before, but it was like the girl refused to let them fall. Ever. But right at that moment, he saw them roll down her cheeks. One by one, as she pushed herself against him and sobbed.

He could feel the relief she'd felt, but what had got him was the fact that she was hurting so much that she actually broke down. Cole was confused, he hadn't intended to hurt her. Quite the contrary, actually, he hadn't wanted to end up killing her if he were to be controlled. But he ended up causing her pain anyway, which only served to upset him. The emotions he'd seen in others before were now bubbling over in him.  _His own_. He felt his own sadness and grief. Regret, for not explaining things to her first before running off. Also relief for knowing that they still stood on good terms, they were still friends. It was overwhelming and he almost didn't know what to do about it.

* * *

Which brought him to the present, as he sat at the fire with Varric. Cole was stuck in his own thoughts this time, instead of listening to others. No. His were much louder now. They  _demanded_  his attention. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"So... what had Her Inquisitorialness all flustered when you guys got back?" Varric asked as he leaned forward with a smirk. Cole's gaze fixed on him from across the fire, small flames flickered in front of his vision. "Don't tell me she walked in while you guys were having  _a moment._ "

Cole tilted his head, thinking about his answer.  _A moment?_ He wasn't sure what Varric meant by that, but tried to explain the best he could.

"I was afraid. I didn't want to hurt her, but I did anyway. I ran away, back at Skyhold. She thought we weren't friends anymore."

"Oh..." Varric seemed to deflate, almost like he'd been expecting something else. "Was that why Screech has been acting weird? Damn near got herself killed by Tiny. I heard she snapped at Chuckles, too. Didn't hear all the details, but jeez. Can tell they're pretty pissed at each other, that's something I won't willingly involve myself in."

"When I held her, thoughts were clearer. Not muddled. Silent. Like they are now. This world scares her and she doesn't want to die. Her friends make it easier." Cole nodded minutely, his gaze turning away from Varric and on the flames before him.

"Yeah … I'm just now coming to terms with Screech's story – wait. Held?" His smirk was back as the dwarf leaned forward.

**First Person**

I silently listened to them talk just outside of my tent, my eyes closed and breathing slowing down. I really had to shake off the feeling I had just minutes ago, trying to make myself forget it. I knew that it would only cause more problems than it's worth, really. I knew that. Feelings always made things more difficult and seemed to just get in the way.  _Sometimes they even ruined friendships._

My eyes snapped open at the thought and I felt dread creeping up onto me. I didn't want to lose my closest friend because of some stupid crush I had. I used to watch people all the time, as creepy as that sounds. I know. But people would develop a friendship with one another and everything would be completely fine. Then, one would develop feelings for the other and would end up confessing. Eventually, though, their friendship would be left in tatters. They'd drift apart and become strangers to one another, as a result.

 _I don't want that._ Never. I won't let it happen. I lay there and glared at the top of my tent, small flickers of light coming in from the flap at the front. I pulled my blankets over my head and squeezed my eyes shut. Stupid. Why did this have to happen to me?

* * *

We made it back to Skyhold before noon that day. On our way there, Solas and I had been exchanging glares the whole time. Well, maybe not the  _whole_  time. But everytime we caught eachother's eyes we'd both frown and look away. It seems that relationship had been spoiled. Not that I mourned the loss of anything, really. He was a royal prick.

During the times when I wasn't scowling at the back of Solas' bald head, I was trying to keep my mind off of the night before. It really scared me, it did. I fully intended to try and keep my little secret under wraps.

I stared at the cloudy sky, searching for the sun. It would occasionally peek through the clouds and the wind was starting to pick up. I silently wondered why whenever there was a blizzard, Skyhold never seemed to be bothered. Did they have magic around the walls that protected it from the weather conditions? A thought for another time, then.

The horse swayed beneath me as we ambled across the bridge toward Skyhold's gates, hooves clicking on the stone. Cassandra was standing at the entrance with a hand on her hip, a serious expression on her face. Then again, I never saw the Seeker ever without that look. It seemed to be her default setting. I dismounted and brought the my horse over to a post and tied her to it. Everyone else in the party followed suit and I started to work my magic. Working with horses, that is. Not actual magic.

"There's someone that needs your attention. In the prison, Inquisitor." Cassandra reported as I started to unsaddle the horses. I listened and worked at the same time.

"What is it, Cassandra? Is something wrong?" The elf had asked, curious. She was taking some of her stuff off of the saddle and setting them aside.

"No … it's just. A girl came into Skyhold with some of the merchants and she appears to be wearing the same clothing as Lyn." The Seeker explained, making my body freeze. What? I looked over, eyes wide.

"What do you mean?" I asked, astonished. "There's no way anyone … it's not  _possible_." I murmured, brows knitting in thought. Would it be? I mean, I got here right? Unless someone else found a way through from my world. What did that mean for us, then? If more people from my world started to come through and into this world, it wouldn't mean anything good.

"You both speak in the same manner, as well." Her face was straight as she examined my reactions. I assumed she would accuse me of being a spy of some sort or point her sword in my face, but she did no such thing. She simply stood there with the same look on her face as before.

"I'm not sure I like this... wh-what if Corypheus found a way to get to my world? What if this girl is -" I was starting to panic, hands shaking. Gods what have I done? But I was promptly cut off by the Inquisitor.

"Lyn, calm down. We need to go see who it is, first." Lynn tried to placate me, holding her thin hand up to me but not making contact. "It might just be a coincidence, yeah?"

"If he f-finds a way..." I couldn't even begin as I thought of what it would be like if he somehow gained that power.

"She had this." Cassandra pulled something out of her pouch and held it up. It looked like a piece of glass for a second, as the sun glinted over the top and I could see a faint reflection of the Seeker's hand. But upon closer inspection...It was an iPhone.


	13. A New Visitor

Cassandra held, in her hand, a device that was capable of so many things it would be unfathomable to the people in this world. Pictures, videos, music, communication (Though I doubt it would be able to do that here). I choked and stumbled backwards, eyes wide in fear. It couldn't be! How in the hell did an iPhone get  _here_ !? That, by itself, was proof enough that this prisoner they had was indeed from my world.

"T-That's!" I walked forward, hands out.

"She said it was  _dead_. Whatever that means." Cassandra allowed me to take it, obviously seeing no use in the weird shiny object. I held it, it's weight familiar. I ran my fingers over the smooth glass on the front of the screen, eyes wide in wonder. It didn't have a case on it and it was scuffed up on the back a bit, as if it'd been dropped a few times. The fact that it wasn't cracked was a miracle. These things cracked relatively easy, if I remembered correctly.

"I never thought I'd see one of  _these_  ever again..." I mumbled in awe.

"What is it?"

"A phone."

"A... what?" Cassandra was diverted from her questioning, however, when Lynn butted in.

"Why did you throw her in the  _cells_ , Cassandra?" Lynn had asked on our way there, I was still looking down at the iPhone in my hand.

"We asked if we could question her, but she started getting combative and refused to cooperate." The Seeker replied simply as we opened the doors to the dungeons. Stairs lead down a small tunnel, with one landing. Torches were lit here and there to allow some illumination as we ascended. Our boots made faint echoes down the stairs and I could hear some yelling at the bottom.

"I've done nothing wrong, you barbarians! Let me out of here!" A high pitched voice sounded and echoed it's way into my ears. I almost dropped the phone in my hand in shock, instantly recognizing that voice. I hadn't thought I'd hear that ever again, either. Without even giving any warning, I darted the rest of the way down the stairs and ran up to the cell where thin arms were reaching through. Their hands were grasping, as if threatening to strangle the guard on watch.

"Oh my god..." Was all I could choke out when I stood in front of the cell. I had pocketed the phone at some point, my hands at my sides. "A-Angel...Is that you?"

She looked much different than the last time I saw her. Older. Well, maybe not  _older_. That doesn't seem like the right word, really. But she seemed to have matured, mentally. Her eyes didn't hold the same naivete that she had back in my world. Almost like she'd hardened. Her long wavy black hair was tied back in a ponytail and she wasn't wearing her glasses. Her brown eyes showed anger as she stared up at me, but the emotion dissipated as recognition took hold. She stood up from her crouched position so that she was at eye level with me.

"Lyn!?" She yelled, grabbing the metal bars with her thin little hands. Angel was a bit shorter than me, by maybe inches. And her skin was much more tanned, since she was actually fully Native American. Whereas I wasn't. She was standing in there, wearing a pair of jeans and a simple shirt.

"You know her?" I heard Lynn ask from beside me. I hadn't even heard any of them approach, too focused on the person in front of me.

"She's... my sister." I breathed, "How did you get here?"

"I was gonna ask the same thing. What is this place? How did we get here? Can we go back home?" Angel rambled off, her eyes alight with hope.

"Let's get you out of this situation, first. I'll explain later." I crossed my arms and looked over to Cassandra, who looked like she wanted to ask something.

"Is she dangerous?"

"No. Can you let her out of here?" I turned my gaze to the Inquisitor, eyes pleading. My little sister didn't belong in a cell, she was practically harmless. Well, that I know of. If she's been here as long as I have, I have no clue what she might be capable of now.

"She took down two armed guards, Inquisitor." The Seeker warned, making me snort in amusement.

"What'd she do, scratch their eyes out?" I joked, waving my hand dismissively.

"...Almost..." Cassandra sounded hesitant as she looked down at the girl with wariness. I could practically see the rage simmering beneath my sister's eyes as she stared at Cassandra. She was gritting her teeth in irritation, before she finally burst.

"They  _grabbed_  me! How was I supposed to react?  _'Oh yeah,_ _M_ _ister_ _G_ _uard. Please take me to your dungeon. Sounds like_ _ **fun**_ _!'_ " Angel yelled angrily, shaking the metal door back and forth. The door clanged on its hinges, making groaning noises from the force she was putting into it. Her face was turning red with fury, again.

Did I ever mention anger problems kind of … ran in the family?

I sighed, pinching my nose.

"Is she always like this...?" Lynn whispered, trying to keep her voice low from my right. Cassandra heard and peeked over at me, curious as well.

"Yes... but only if you piss her off. Now how exactly did you  _question_  her, Cassandra?" I sounded exasperated as I looked over at the Seeker. The warrior seemed reluctant to answer my question, but when Lynn nodded to her she began almost like it were a report.

"I spotted her by the crates early this morning, helping some merchants unload the deliveries. So I approached her to question her about her clothing."

"Don't forget the bit about where you had two armed guards standing behind me." Angel drawled from her spot in the cell. "Oh yeah, and the other part where said guards grabbed me by the arm to drag me away."

"Yes, well we couldn't be sure if she was a threat." Cassandra explained, "And they didn't grab you, they tried to ease you to a quieter place so we could talk in private."

" _'A quieter place'_  she says." My sister spoke in a mocking voice, "Right before she chops me into little itty bitty pieces!" Angel sneered, making me blink from the familiarity of the statement. I'd said the same thing when I first met the group, thinking they would chop me up. The Seeker did not look amused as my sister blatantly mocked her from her position in the cell. I don't know what Lynn was thinking, but she seemed to be sizing my sister up. Observing her. I'll never understand what goes on in the minds of rogues, to be honest.

"And put you in the freezer?" I finished in a flat tone, my eyes full of amusement. Angel nodded eagerly,

"Exactly!"

"I apologize on my sister's behalf. As you both know, I kind of have a temper. It... runs in the family. We can be kind of rash in our decision making when we feel threatened." I tried to explain. That wasn't the only reason, though. We all acted like that because of the shitty foster home we'd been put in. Ever since a horrible experience there, my siblings and I have been pretty snappy with people if we feel vulnerable in the least.

"We can't let her run free after what she did to those guards." Cassandra argued, then began to explain the rest of the incident. Thankfully with no more interruptions from my lovely little sister. As it seemed, Cassandra had gone down to question her and Angel freaked out because one of the guards had touched her on the back. She'd felt surrounded and ended up trying to bolt. This resulted in the guards grabbing her and dragging her up the stairs and toward the prison cells, but not without a fight. Angel had ended up scratching at their faces and biting at their hands in the process, resulting in two injured guards who were now in the infirmary getting their wounds looked at.

"Your version of _'took down armed guards'_  and mine are vastly different." I spoke slowly, "You made it seem like she maimed them."

The warrior was looking at me with a look that practically said 'you didn't see their faces', so I let it go.

"It sounds like a simple misunderstanding. Though we are going to have to keep an eye on you if you intend to stay, Angel." Lynn sounded so formal, with her accented voice as she spoke to my sister. The elf's hands were folded in front of her body, eyes full of questions.

"But Inquisitor-"

"No, Cassandra. This just … doesn't feel right. Keeping her in the cell down here? We need to question her anyway after she's calmed down." Lynn reasoned, "Do you have any weapons on you?"

"No." Angel replied as she picked some dirt beneath her fingernails, "I have no training in fighting whatsoever."

"Yeah … the only knife she can wield is one from a kitchen." I put in, making Angel scoff.

"Sexist bitch!"

" _Shhhh_. You know it's true." I soothed in a fake tone, a smirk starting to appear on my face. I wasn't lying, though. She really did know how to cook, very well might I add, but I'd never tell her that. Where I focused on being outside and helping the boys on the farm, my sister had stayed inside and helped our aunt with household stuff. They were kind of old fashioned, like that. I remember being 8 years old and wanting to punch my grandpa for telling me I couldn't help on the farm with the heavy labor because I was a girl. But I proved him wrong, in my own way.

"Yeah, you're still a bitch though." She murmured as the guard started to unlock her cell. Angel was looking down at the ground as she shuffled out, the bangs that framed her face covered her expression. Before I knew it, she had lunged at me and was holding me with her arms around my torso.

Cassandra had her sword halfway pulled out, about to attack but had stopped when she realized my sister was just hugging me. I was standing there, awkwardly, as my hands were held up and I stared down at her.

Angel was crying, squeezing me as if I'd disappear any second.

"Y-You're real." She whimpered. I felt like she was suffocating me with her tight grip. I slowly put my right hand up and awkwardly patted her head.

"It … uhhh. It's fine. We are alive, right?" I chuckled, not knowing how to comfort her. Angel started to laugh in between her sobs, finally letting me go. Her eyes were already red and puffy as she started to wipe away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks.

"You never were good at comforting people." Angel hiccuped, her voice sounding like she could finally begin to talk.

Lynn began to explain to us that she would give Angel the night to rest before she sat down to question them. The elf had been interested to hear her side of the story and actually seemed more … open to the idea that there really might be another world out there. How? We didn't know, but she wanted to keep that option open. Or so she'd said.

I think they were coming to terms with the fact that my story was true, now. From the display of my handgun to my sister arriving? It couldn't be a coincidence. But I did wonder how on earth she even got here. I offered to keep a close eye on her so that she didn't get into any mischief. Cassandra seemed reluctant, but said she would inform the guards to keep an eye out. I suppose it made sense, I couldn't really blame her for her caution.

Since it wasn't even the end of the day yet, I took my sister with me down to the barn so that I could keep myself busy. There was bound to be work that needed to be done down in the stables.

"Huh. It's just like you to make yourself at home near the animals." Angel commented as we entered the barn and went through the double doors into the stables. I could hear some of the horses making noises, some of them peeking their heads out to see who had entered. I walked up to one, it's ears flicking as it lowered it's head to me. I scratched the forehead, seeing the animal lean into the affection.

"What happened? How did … you get here? In this world?" I asked, getting right to the point. She paused in front of one of the empty stalls, leaning against it and sighing. My sister looked worn out, probably from the sobbing session she'd just had. I knew that feeling. After I'd cried last night, I felt like I needed to sleep for days. It was exhausting. I turned around and faced her, seeing her take her hair out of her ponytail and brushing it with her fingers.

"Well, I don't know  _how_."

"Neither do I … the last thing I remember was crashing my car, to be honest." I mumbled, causing my sister to glare at me.

"I was in the back, you know."

"W-What?!" I sounded aghast as I stared at her.

"Yeah, you and mother had gotten into a fight and you threatened to leave. I knew you were going to Aunt Sue's, so I hid in the back of the car."

I put my palms over my face, covering my eyes. "I'm an idiot... I could have gotten you killed..."

"I woke up and I was alone." Angel began, still staring at her hair as she ran her fingers through it. "I was laying in the snow with my bags at my side, severely injured. I broke my arm, so it was pretty difficult moving around with two bags. Had to carry them with one hand."

"What the hell did you do, bring your whole wardrobe?" I drawled, but got an affirmative nod. Of course. My sister was always one for 'fashion' and always seemed to worry about her appearance. Though it seemed that had changed … she wasn't even wearing any makeup or anything as she stood there. She also held herself differently, I'm not sure how but … this world changed her.

"Thankfully a family in a nearby town took me in, had a healer fix me up. That was my first encounter with magic." I groaned, wondering what she did to the poor healer. "Yeah. I kind of freaked out and punched her in the chest. Needless to say, they were confused and I was hysterical. They attributed it to a fear of mages and seemed to let it slide, though the healer looked pretty pissed." She laughed.

She continued on with her story, telling me of her experiences and how she'd gotten used to the idea of the fact that she was no longer on Earth. Angel said that she thought the breach was a bomb at first, too, and had to be coaxed out from under a porch. At first she was scared, depressed and almost gave up. But the family she'd been with had taken her to get a job with some merchants.

She met a friend. She worked there for awhile and eventually had to sell off most of her clothing for stuff that would actually be useful to her in this world. Including any jewelry she'd been wearing when she was dumped here.

Angel expressed her dislike for the way they treated the elves and mages, saying that it wasn't fair and that she'd actually met some nice ones since she was here. And that's how she lived her life for the past three months or so, which was how long I'd been here. I assumed that since we were in the same car when I crashed, she was pulled through as well. But she was thrown in a different area. Near Redcliffe, to be exact. Where she had been staying since she arrived.

"What about that family that helped you?"

"They … ended up getting killed by some mages that called themselves the Venatori. They took over Redcliffe for a short time, but were eventually driven out. I was able to get away, though, thanks to a friend of mine. But he was eventually taken too, because he was a mage. Lived in this little shack inside of the village, where it was safer. Everything was starting to finally become normal, before I came here."

"I'm … sorry." I mumbled, eyes downcast. That's the last thing I ever wanted my sister to go through. She was only 17 years old and she'd already seen so much death. Which was all this world seemed to offer, at times.

"He wouldn't want you to be sad." My eyes flicked up, seeing Cole standing behind my sister in the empty stall. His hat completely hid his expression as he stared at the back of her head. Angel froze, jumping away from the stall as if it burned her.

"Gah!" She yelled, her eyes wide with fear. "W-Wh." She began, but was cut off as Cole started to talk.

"The young elf that protected you. Eren. He loved you, too.  _'You have to be strong.'_ " He seemed to quote at the end in a whisper, I saw Angel's eyes starting to water again. God damn it.

"H-How do you know that?!" Her voice slowly rose as she crawled away on her butt. I walked up and knelt in front of my sister.

"Are you alright?" I asked, not knowing how to proceed. I usually just allowed her to cry out her frustrations while I listened. It usually seemed like it was enough. She just sat there quietly and cried.

"H-he wasn't there  _before_. He."

"It's fine. It's okay, Angel. He won't hurt you." I reassured her, looking back at Cole. He was still standing in the stall, staring at her. "Cole, you can't … appear behind people like that and not expect them to get scared." I wanted to laugh, but something about what he said to my sister prevented me from doing so. He'd said that a young elf had loved her. And he was gone? Did he die?

Something told me I wouldn't get an answer if I asked, so I didn't. I didn't want to cause her any more pain, as it was. If she wanted to tell me about it, she would. Right now … talking about it would just cause more problems.

"I'm sorry … I just wanted to help."

"I know..." I mumbled, watching as my sister slowly started to calm down. "He's a friend, you can trust him."

She blinked up at me as I looked up and saw that it was getting darker outside. "We should get you some food and you can rest, how's that sound?"

"Starving." Was all she said as she sniffed, wiping her eyes.

As we got up to leave, Cole was gone. I knew he probably just disappeared to go off and do something else, but my sister wasn't as forgiving. She almost started to freak out all over again.

"He was right there a moment ago! He disappeared!"

"Yeah … he does that."

"That's  _normal_?" Angel sounded astonished, "You have some explaining to do …"

"I've been busy since I've arrived in this world, too." I nodded, as we walked up the stone stairs. I'd waved at Master Dennet as I left, getting a grunt in return. Blackwall had been there too, but we just nodded at one another in acknowledgment. The dirt crunched beneath our shoes as we entered the path at the top of the steps.

We'd made our way into the Herald's Rest and found an empty table. Angel was sitting on a stool, slumped over the table looking tired. I knew, however, that she should get some food in before she went to sleep. For the same reason I was obsessive about making sure I got nutrients. Where I was Pre-Diabetic, she had full blown Type-2 Diabetes. It surprised me that she had made it this far, actually. If she'd accidentally went too long without food or …

Shaking my head, I walked and ordered her a simple stew and some juice.

"Here." I set it down in front of her, taking a seat on the other side of the table. Angel nodded her thanks and began to eat slowly. She'd gone quiet after what Cole had said to her, which kind of worried me.

Angel was in the middle of a bite when Sera waltzed up and set a plate down next to me, taking a seat. Her plate made a small ' _ **click**_ ' sound as it was set on the worn wooden table we sat at.

"So this Screech's little sissy?" She asked, putting her elbow on the table and leaning onto it. I saw Angel gulp her food down quickly and cough, her hand in front of her face.

"S-Screech?"

"Yeah, it's a nickname that Varric gave me. He might even give you one.  _Lucky you …_ " I drawled, my eyes flicked to Sera's plate and saw that she had a sandwich. A rather tasty looking sandwich, might I add. The thing was practically stuffed with meat and cheese. "Sera this is Angel. Angel … Sera."

"Screech. A meaning behind the name. She screeches when she's scared, happy, surprised. Extreme displays of emotion. He calls you Screech because he thinks you're funny when you do." I was staring at Angel, my eyes half lidded as if I were bored. I'd been so used to him popping up that I found it so amusing the way Angel's face morphed into surprise, then fear. She spit her drink back into her cup and pointed at Cole, who was standing behind me. I knew, because who else would randomly pop into a conversation like that?

"You! Again!" She yelled, "I saw you this time, you just … just …  _appeared_!"

Sera made a disgusted noise and I turned my body so I could see the both of them. Cole was standing behind me looking at Sera now, who was at my left sitting on a stool.

"Ew! Can you at least not... stare past my eyes? Frigging creepy, that." Sera was looking up at him with an offended look on her face.

"You're not your eyes, you live behind them." Cole replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"That too. Don't do that. Creepy."

"I'm so lost right now..." I heard Angel mutter, Sera turned to my sister with a disgusted look still on her face. "I-Is he a mage? Can mages do that?"

"No." Both Sera and I said at the same time. But Sera continued,

"It's some weird creepy demon-thing from the Fade or whatever."

" _He_." I corrected, feeling slightly offended that she would even refer to him as an it. She disregarded me.

"D-Demon?" Angel whispered and I could see her setting up her guard around him, almost like he would attack her.

"I want it to be spirit." Cole commented from behind me. I'd turned around and was now facing my sister.

"Yes.  _Spirit_. Cole is … or was a Spirit of Compassion. Is. Was... uhhh. He helps people, no need to be afraid." I tried to explain as I fumbled for the right words, not wanting my little sister to be afraid of him when she had no reason to be.

"Ah.. wait.  _Was_?" Angel pushed her bowl of stew away slowly.

"After recent events … Varric has said he's more, I don't know, human?" I peeked up at Cole for confirmation, he was looking down at me with his usual passive face. I shook my head and furrowed my brows. "This is all so confusing to me."

"All this talk about  _deeeemons_  is making me nauseous." Sera whined and I looked at her, then at her sandwich. Since she's so nauseous, she probably won't want that. Right? I poked it with my finger, sending my appendage all the way through and to the plate.

"You gonna eat that?" I asked blandly, hearing her make a disgusted noise.

"Not anymore, you frigging put your finger through it!"

"Thanks for the sandwich, then." I grabbed her plate and began to eat the sandwich, seeing her get up and stomp away. I let myself smirk behind my winnings as the blonde elf left the tavern, likely to go do something or whatever it was she did on her freetime.

"You're... different now, Lyn." Angel sounded hesitant, unsure if she would offend me. I gazed back at her from behind my sandwich.

"Different how?"

"Well for one, you're actually socializing with people and not pushing them away like they're insects." She put in, her hand held up to emphasize her point. "And it even seems you've made … friends."

I nodded. Had I really changed that much? I didn't really think so. Sure I found some friends and a place to be. Something to actually do that's productive with my life. I felt like I belonged here, and I liked it. I suppose it's also given me more confidence, despite some of the bad things that have ended up happening. The incident with the Venatori still gave me nightmares, but I usually wouldn't wake up alone during those nights. That's a plus I suppose.

"Is he... just going to stand there all day?" Angel whispered as she leaned forward, her eyes flicking behind me every now and then. He was still there?

"Oh. Sorry. Cole, you can … sit down with us, you know." I patted the stool beside me that Sera had been using, turning to look at him. Without even saying anything, he sat down and continued to stare at the both of us.

Angel had began to eat her stew again, before it got too cold. I was just finishing up too, as I looked around the tavern. There wasn't too many people in here right now, seeing as how it was starting to get dark out. It only really got crowded when something happened, good or bad, and people needed a place to gather to either celebrate or drink their frustrations.

"So … what happened?" Angel had asked after we were done eating, she motioned to my face and bandages on my arms. Oh. Well, shit. How do I explain that?

"Uhh... Sparring..." I was a horrible liar. I'd called it sparring, but it was more like ' _Get Bull to beat my ass_ '. It was foolish and I'm sure I could have ended up getting myself killed had I done that to someone else. The bruising on my arms were starting to fade into an ugly yellow, now. But some of the wounds on my face remained. I was actually surprised she didn't ask before, to tell you the truth.

"It looks like you got hit by a truck.  _Sparring_?" She rose a brow, "You're a bad liar and you know it."

I gazed down at my arm, seeing a scab had formed and was peeking out of one of my bandages. "Yeah..." I sighed, picking at the scab and scowling. I heard an angered noise coming from Angel.

"You let The Iron Bull hurt you. Why?" Cole spoke up from my side.

"It seemed right, at the time." I forced out, not really wanting to talk about my lapse in sanity. I never did like it when my emotions bubbled over like that. It was a horrible habit that I had and it seemed … the thing with Cole had just pushed me over the edge.

"Who hurt you?" Angel puffed her chest up, looking as if she wanted to fight him in all her five foot five glory. I wanted to snort in amusement at the thought of my little sister even standing up to Bull, who would likely tower over her short stature.

"Alright, let's go find my room yes? Time for sleep." I let out a nervous chuckle as I stood up. Angel got up, as well and trailed behind me as I started to walk toward the stairs. "I'll talk to you later, Cole." I called, before I got to the bottom of the stairs.

"You didn't tell me who Bull was!" Angel protested as she grabbed my arm.

"Why are you looking for Bull?" I heard Krem say casually from his chair at his usual spot near the staircase. He was sitting at the table, next to … you guessed it … Bull. I didn't like where this was going. Angel stood up straight and glared down at Krem, trying to be intimidating.

"You're Bull?"

"No. I am." I heard the Qunari stand up from his chair. I observed silently, watching as he looked down at my little sister in interest. My sister, however, looked up at him and the blood seemed to drain from her face. Her posture, which was once straight, was now slumped like she was trying to make herself smaller.

"Heh... no reason." Angel's voice sounded small as she scurried up the stairs, her little feet making barely any noise. I stared blankly, not even knowing what to make of what had just happened. All of her bravado had completely vanished after seeing the massive Qunari.

"What's  _her_  problem?" Bull asked, looking at her as she ran away. I shook my head, waved at him and left.

When we finally made it up to my room, with me leading the way, she plopped down on my bed and sprawled out.

"So how did you  _spar_  with  _that_  and survive?" She said from her laying position. I stood in the doorway, glaring at her as she stole most of the bed.

"I think it was more like … he threw me around a bit and called it a day." I commented, walking up to the bed and pushing her toward the wall. She groaned and just rolled over, making room for me.

"You're such a crazy bitch, sometimes."

I grunted in agreement, laying down and trying to get some sleep. It only took her ten minutes before she was snoring lightly from her place on the bed, not even covered up with a blanket. I let out a silent sigh, seeing that the moon was shining through my window. Tomorrow was going to be ... interesting.


	14. Humanity

I woke up early that next day, making my way just outside of the room. I saw that the sun was barely starting to come up and I could hear the starts of people waking and moving around downstairs. Angel was still sound asleep and I planned to let her sleep as much as she can. Yesterday was pretty hard on her. These past three months have been hard on her, I could tell. I don't even know the full story, yet, but I could tell how much this world has effected her.

I closed the door to my room softly, walking over to the railing and peering down and stared at people as they walked by on the first floor. I stood there, rubbing the eye boogers out of my eyes and let out a yawn. The second floor was pretty much deserted, the tables and chairs empty of people. I found myself curious about my sister and I wanted to at least know how she was doing. She'd seemed almost distant yesterday, only telling me the details that were necessary. I knew that I should probably just wait until she was ready …. but. I can't help it, I'm one of those overprotective older sisters. Sue me.

I found myself standing just outside of Cole's door, which was up here as well. I'd never actually seen him go into it, but it was worth a try right? I took a deep breath and knocked, shifting my weight awkwardly as I stood out in the dimmed third floor.

"You're worried about your sister." His voice was behind me, making me jump three feet into the air. Either I mustn't have seen him or he was making himself invisible again. It was early in the morning and I  _really_  was not expecting that. Thankfully, I couldn't find it in me to even yell or scream because of how sleepy I still felt.

"Of course..." I breathed, steadying my nerves. "Do you know if she's … alright? She seemed different, somehow."

"She says the same about you. I can hear it when she looks at you. Much brighter. Stronger. Found a place of her own." Cole spoke as I leaned back, my body resting against his bedroom door. "She's proud of you." He was standing just in front of me, looking down at me with a contemplative expression. I was happy, knowing my sister was proud of me. That she looked at me and saw the good that has come out of my change. I could see it, too. I was slowly starting to come out of my shell. Though that wasn't what my mind was on, right now. I was more concerned about how  _she_  had reacted yesterday.

"Yes, but she..." I fiddled with my hands, eyes drifting down to look at them. "She seemed  _troubled_. If she's hurt somehow, I want to know how to help her at least."

Which was why I came to Cole about it, since it was his area of expertise. Helping people, that is. His eyes seemed to brighten at that when I looked up to see his reaction. "It is difficult. You and her are the same. It's quiet, like it's not even there. I have to be standing close, like this. Otherwise I can't hear you."

My brows knitted. He'd mentioned that long ago, how I'd been much quieter than the others. When he'd tried to help me before and all that. But now we were harder to hear? I had a theory that it had something to do with us being from a different world. We are an anomaly in this world and I still didn't know how that would effect the future or even the world itself. We probably connected to the Fade differently, if at all. Which is how I  _assume_  he's able to use his little gift. There have been a multitude of things that changed since we got back from our trip yesterday, after the incident with the Templar.

"She's worried. Always worried. That boy, Eren. He's always on her mind when I hear her. He was taken away just recently."

"Is he... is he alive?" I was almost afraid to ask, my jaw clenched. Angel had gotten pretty close with this boy and the last thing I wanted was her to lose him like that.

"I don't know." He sounded unsure, lips set into a small frown. I sighed, posture going slack. Damn. "I was trying to figure it out, last night. Before you left. She keeps it locked away tight. Buries it. She doesn't want to think about him because it hurts her when she does."

"She will tell me when she's ready … She always has." I mumbled as I crossed my arms. I suppose I could always just find ways to keep her mind off of it the best I could. It's the only thing I knew to do, in order to help. She wasn't the only one that was hurt, however. As my thoughts drifted to my friend who was standing in front of me. "On to another topic, how are  _you_  feeling?"

"It still hurts and sometimes I feel like I want to hit people. Varric is helping me with that, though." My brows raised. Cole? Wanting to hit people?

"Oh? Who, dare I ask, have you wanted to hit?"

"They say one thing but mean another. Smiles outside. Hate and resentment inside. Sometimes the people that visit Skyhold want to hurt the Inquisitor. There's also a Templar that says mean things to the mage healer. She hates all mages. Elves too. She thinks she's better than everyone." He paused and blinked a few times, looking down at me. "Sometimes  _you_  punch people. Maybe Varric can help you, too."

I snorted, smirking up at him. "Maybe you're right, I do tend to make an ass out of myself a lot. Unfortunately, it's a downfall to being human."

"Varric says I'm more human. He also says I have a lot to learn. Does it ever stop hurting?" He tilted his head, "I asked but …"

"That depends, where does it hurt?" I frowned, looking around at his body to see if he was hurt anywhere. I probably wouldn't be able to tell, anyway, since he was wearing his patchy long sleeve shirt he wore so often. It was either mental or physical. I, at the very least, knew how to help with the physical pain. I was never good at helping with the other, however. That seemed more  _his_  calling, than mine. The only thing I could offer was an ear to listen and a friend to be around.

"When … when I think about what that Templar did to Cole, it makes me angry. And sad. The emotions bubble around without my consent, they slip away and won't listen when I tell them to stop." Cole spoke, shifting his weight onto one leg as he fiddled with the wraps on one of his hands. "My body hurts sometimes, too. That never used to happen, before."

So he was being subjected to humanity, huh? I didn't know how to feel about that. On one hand, it could be a good thing. But there was a lot of bad about it that seemed to rush to mind as I listened to him. Which was worrying. Was  _this_  what had happened? Had I helped doom him to a life of pain and suffering? I was born in this world as I was, used to the pains and all that came with it. Could Cole adapt so easily? I had my doubts. I suppose my unease showed on my face, or he somehow picked up on it because he seemed troubled.

"I uhh … well. The pain you feel toward the Templar man is understandable. It's okay to feel hurt by what he did, remember that. Just don't let hate consume you, that's a path you never want to follow." My posture loosened and I realized it was starting to finally get lighter outside. It was getting easier to see up here.

Cole seemed to get a little fidgety, like he wanted me to continue. I hadn't answered his question, afterall. It seemed to dawn on me, right then. He  _could_  get through this. He had to. Just like any other person, he'd need the support of his friends. Doubting him would do me, or him, no good. I gave him a reassuring smile and held my hand up and rested my palm on his chest.

"You'll be fine. The pain will dull, in time. You're strong, Cole. You can get through this." I spoke lowly, believing every word I said. "If you ever need me, I'll be here. That is what friends are for, yes?"

He stared down at my hand curiously, before grabbing it and pulling it off of his chest. I blinked, watching him as he stared at it. He turned my wrist so that my hand was palm up, then observed the back as well. I took delight in the way his fingers seemed to ghost over the skin on the top of my hand, soft and gentle.

"What about … my emotions, how do I tell them to stop?" I tilted my head, feeling nervousness bubble up inside as he held my hand. Oh, I only wish I knew how to. Unfortunately, that's another thing that he's going to have to learn to adapt to. It was, no doubt, really confusing for him to have to deal with all of them at once like that.

"You can't." I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure him.

I heard the door to my room creak open, causing my posture to stiffen. I looked over and saw Angel peeking out, her black hair standing on end and looking scraggly.

"Oh... there you are. I woke up and you were gone." Her voice sounded sleepy as she walked out and rubbed her eyes, before blinking slowly. Angel's eyes squinted and, reluctantly, I let go of Cole's hand to walk over to my little sister.

"Sleep well?"

"Better than I have in weeks." My sister let out a quiet yawn as she held her delicate little hand to her mouth. "You have a really nice bed. Can I get one of my own?"

"That's up to the Inquisitor." I nodded, looking back at my blonde friend. "Cole, do you know if she's awake yet?"

He shook his head, looking unsure. "Lynn is usually awake at this time. She might be."

* * *

After feeding my sister breakfast, I was eventually called to the War Room with my sister to discuss the possibility of her stay. I hope I wouldn't have to fight for her ability to stay here at Skyhold, because I might end up leaving with her. She was my sister, afterall. I couldn't just abandon her like that.

When we entered the bright room, Lynn had opened the door to allow our entrance. Leliana and Josephine stood on one side of the table while Cassandra stood aside on the left, where she usually lingered.

Angel got a much better 'welcome' than I had back at Haven, as I watched Lynn introduce everyone to my younger sibling. I attributed that to the fact that I probably gained a wee bit of trust from them since I've arrived. Angel, to her credit, didn't look too pissed at Cassandra anymore and simply nodded in her direction when she was introduced. She'd went over what she told me down at the stables, minus the small breakdown since she hadn't mentioned Eren. Though she did look like she was incredibly nervous, with her constant fidgeting and playing with her long hair.

Leliana's face was schooled into a neutral expression and Josephine seemed to be busy looking down at her papers. Perhaps she had some information she was double checking as Angel told them her story? Cassandra didn't look as suspicious as she had when I first arrived. I'm hoping they'll at least believe some of our story, now. Especially since I have this iPhone, which I'd kept in my pocket this whole time. Though I doubt it'll ever work again. Not that I wanted it to, they probably wouldn't take it well and I'd be in the same position I was back at Haven. Maybe worse, because Cassandra might think it's some type of magic.

"The merchant family that she spoke of did, indeed, exist and had been harboring a young woman who fits her description." Josephine's accented voice put in as she flipped through a few pieces of parchment, "The people she was helping unload at the time of her arrival vouched for her, as well. It seems what she says is the truth."

"My scouts have not mentioned any suspicious or threatening behavior from the girl." Leliana was next, her hands clasped behind her body. "There isn't really any reason to keep her locked up. I do not object to close observation, however." Lynn was nodding at their words, taking them all in. She then turned to Cassandra, waiting for her to speak. The Seeker's face seemed to soften, just a little, as she sighed at the small girl.

"She does not appear to have any formal combat training. I suppose … I would have done the same had I been in her position. She may be young, but it is ideal we still keep an eye on her to be safe."

Lynn smiled at them, her eyes shining with approval. They may have already talked about this before we'd come in here, which seemed to be the case. Josephine already had papers and I guess Leliana had also been keeping an eye on her in her own way. "Then we are all in agreement?"

"Will there be any problem with her staying here?" I stood a little straighter, preparing to at least argue her case. "I will pay for her lodgings out of my own pay, if that is what it takes."

"Oh... oh. I don't think that will be necessary. We can find her something to do around here, can't we Josephine?" My elven friend fretted, her brows knitting as if thinking about something. The sun from outside seemed to pour in through the window and make her hair look brighter. I looked at my sister, who looked apprehensive as she fidgeted near the doorway just behind us.

"Oh, right. I'm sure we can find something." The ambassador seemed unsure, but I knew she wouldn't have agreed if it weren't possible.

"I'm really good at cooking, if you need any." Angel offered timidly, her voice sounding almost too quiet to hear. She was holding her hands in front of her, clasped, as if forming a barrier between herself and the others. Her shoulders were slumped, to make herself seem smaller. I didn't blame her. All these new people were pretty much judging her and I knew how much she hated being judged.

It was almost like a complete 360 from how she was acting yesterday. Though I knew she only yelled around and got like that when she was incredibly angry. The way she was acting now, was kind of a norm. When I looked at Cassandra, she seemed to be staring at Angel as if she was wondering the same thing about her change in demeanor.

Lynn nodded, gazing at my sister as she stepped forward to see everyone a little better. Angel was a bit shorter than Lynn and looked up through her long wavy hair. I always wondered how she seemed to keep her hair looking nice, even now.

"Our current cook in the Skyhold kitchens is usually really busy and I'm sure they wouldn't mind some help in the tavern." The wavy haired elf nodded, her hand resting just under her chin as she thought. "Though I am curious … what kind of food do you have back in your … world?" She seemed cautious, almost like we'd lash out at her for asking such a simple question. Though my mind wasn't on that, it was –

"Pizza." I blurted, feeling my face flush instantly in embarrassment. They peered over at me curiously and I heard Angel sigh, her hand on her head. I heard someone mutter _'_ _peet-za_ _?'_ but we continued on.

"Of course that's the first thing you think of..." My sister mutters, shaking her head.

"I can't help it. It's my one true love." I answer, sniffing as I look over at her.

"Heh.  _Right_." She gave me a look like she knew something I didn't, making me stare at her suspiciously. "I can also bake a multitude of sweets and treats. It's what I specialized in back home."

Of course. I thought about all the treats she used to bake at home, feeling my mouth water involuntarily. Cinnamon rolls, cupcakes, muffins, cakes, you name it. She made it. I'm sure this world had it's own versions of the treats, but hers were familiar and I wanted some.

We spoke for a little while, discussing the options she had and whatnot. She'd still remain under watch for awhile, just to be completely sure. She wouldn't be allowed to cook by herself in the kitchens for a few weeks and would simply act as an assistant to start out. I guess it helps that my sister seemed a lot less intense than I did, and she got along with people better. Her social skills were quite good, while mine were less than admirable. Angel practically screamed  _innocence_.

She mentioned that she had some money saved up from when she was working in Redcliffe, so she'd be able to pay for her first week of rent up in the tavern. She would take the other room out of the four bedrooms on the third floor. We'd be neighbors, pretty much. With our work schedules, I doubt we'd get to talk much outside of lunch or evenings but it's better than nothing right? At least I knew she was safe and less likely to get harmed within the confines of Skyhold. If anything, she was not made for this world. I'm just glad she found someone to protect her because as much as I hate to say it, I doubt she would have made it this far without them.

* * *

Eventually Josephine escorted Angel out of the room to go talk to her new employers and get settled into her room for the day. It was said that she would start work tomorrow. I stood there, wondering why they'd wanted me to stay in the War Room alone without my sister.

"Bull and I talked, the Ben-Hassrath have contacted him and offered an alliance with the Inquisition." Lynn spoke and I rose a brow to her. What did this have to do with me? "They asked to speak to you, as well. We go to meet them at the Storm Coast in about a week. I was just giving you prior notice that you are going to be coming along."

I scowled.

"This has something to do with my gun, doesn't it?"

Lynn nodded, her eyes showed the guilt she felt. Though, she kept her posture straight and her head high like the good leader she was. She wouldn't back down from this, I knew.

"He's Ben-Hassrath-" She began, but I cut her off. I didn't want to hear it.

"Fuck being Ben-Hassrath. He knows damn well if I refuse to give them information on my gun I'll die. I will end up killed, Lynn! We both know I'd rather die than let the  _possibility_  of these kinds of weapons be created in this world." I scoffed, crossing my arms in defiance.

"The Ben-Hassrath could be a powerful alliance. You would let that slip through our grasps when they could help us defeat Corypheus?" Leliana butted in, her eyes showed her disapproval to my decision.

"You haven't seen what I have, Leliana. Corypheus is the enemy,  _now_. But what about in the  _future_? Do you want to be fighting a war against people with crude guns, like mine? It would rip through most armor like its parchment. You'll all die and it'll be my fault!" I spat, walking toward the door.

"Lyn!"

"Don't worry, Inquisitor. I'll go … only because  _you_  asked. But I'm not giving them my gun." I didn't even look back at her as I opened the door and walked out. I fully intended to be on my guard when I went, though. If these Ben-Hassrath tried anything funny, I'd put a bullet in their heads.

* * *

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day working my ass off down in the stables to keep my mind off of what will eventually come. I was scared. I found that I was scared a lot when it came to stuff in this world. I wasn't raised here and only had basic skills when it came to things like hunting and fishing, using a bow and all the like. I suppose it's better than nothing, right? I wasn't as unfortunate as my little sister, who has training in next to nothing. At home, she'd make it far with her social prowess. But here, she'd be more suited to being a housewife. I glared at the pitchfork that I was holding onto and threw it like a spear against one of the square hay bales, a scowl on my face.

I hadn't even known my sister was in this world. If I did, I could have looked for her. Stopped all the pain and suffering she'd gone through. As an older sister, I felt like a complete failure. I couldn't protect her. Gritting my teeth and feeling the irritation rise, I stalked off and went up onto the walls of Skyhold to cool off. The last thing I needed was to be accidentally snapping at someone that didn't deserve it.

I stood up here for what seemed like hours, watching the sun set in the distance. The crisp wind that hit my face calmed my nerves and took my mind off of all the issues that plagued me as of late. It was stressful, but I've never given up no matter how difficult things got. I didn't plan to now. Not ever.

Someone grabbed my head and started to ruffle my hair roughly. I was about to lash out and attack, but heard Sera's signature giggle.

"Sup, Screech? Heard the Ben-Harseholes wanted to talk to ya about your whichamajigger." She let my head go and I stood up to stare at her, my wavy hair standing on end and looking like a complete mess. I frowned,

"There's always  _someone_  hungry for power. Shitty." I commented, looking away and out toward the mountains. "Word gets out that there is a new type of weapon and … well whaddya know? People start jumping around for a chance to see it."

"You're not gonna actually let em, are you?" Sera seemed unsure and I let out a growl in response.

"Of course not. Do you know how many people will die, as a result? We have enough wars here as it is. We can do  _without_  more innocents getting slaughtered when they're caught in the middle." I cross my arms and turn to her, seeing that she agreed with me. Her mouth had a small lopsided smirk as she spoke,

"Good, because if you were I was gonna punt you off this wall."

"Pffff. As if."

* * *

Sera followed me back toward the tavern and we were mostly quiet. We'd made a few comments here and there, but it was mostly a comfortable silence. When we got close to the Herald's Rest, though, I saw Cullen standing outside next to the door with a piece of parchment in his hand. He had his free hand up and resting in his blonde hair as he stared at the parchment. Our footsteps could be heard as we walked closer to him. He looked up and locked gazes with me, a blush covering his face. I rose a brow.

He seemed to steel himself and walk toward me with purpose. I paused, not knowing what to do. I looked over at Sera, who was looking at him with an interested stare.

Cullen coughed into his hand awkwardly, looking down at me. I was standing in the middle of the upper courtyard as I shifted my weight onto one foot and couldn't help but look at his shoulder fluffles. I'd always wondered if they were soft and what on earth they were even made out of.

"L-Lyn?" He spoke, sounding nervous. "May I speak to you in private?"

I frowned, looking at him with a raised brow. "Why?"

"It's uhh... I ah."

"You can say it here. It's just Sera and I." I shrugged, looking around and seeing that most of the people were going in for the night. The sun was going down and the sky was starting to darken. The poor Commander seemed at a loss for words and simply opted for handing me the parchment he'd been holding, his face was starting to turn a darker red. I felt a bit of concern bubble up in my chest, "Are you... okay?"

I was unsure as I looked down at the piece of paper and saw little hearts doodled on it along with a lengthy sappy love note, my eyebrow started to twitch in irritation.

"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered out, "Maker. You're a cute girl, but … I'm sorry." My mouth fell open and my eyes widened, only to have a white piece of fabric shoved into my face. Sera's voice rose as she spoke,

"Ooooh. Poor Lyn. Your Cully Wully d-does-." She let out a fake sob, grabbing my head and shoving it onto her chest, I lifted my hand up and grabbed the piece of fabric she'd shoved into my face. It was a handkerchief. Though it wasn't an ordinary handkerchief, since my eyes started to water and my nose started to itch. That – bitch! "Unrequited love! You monster, Cullen!"

I shoved her away, dropping the white fabric on the ground and glared at the both of them. Tears were streaming down my face, because whatever was in that piece of cloth had irritated my eyes.

"Fuck!" I yelled, running past the duo and into the tavern.

Once I was in the back, I filled a bucket with water from a barrel and proceeded to shove my face into the water to flush my eyes. I was already starting to plot my revenge when I heard footsteps beside me. I looked up and saw Varric in all his short glory. The water in my hair dripped on my shoulders and I began to hastily scrub my eyes before finally drying them off with a nearby rag.

When I looked over, I saw him holding the piece of parchment and reading it. I paled, reaching over to snatch it away. He pulled it just out of reach and frowned as he got to the end of it.

"So, Curly huh? I never thought he'd be your type, to be completely honest." Varric handed it over to me, his eyes seemed almost sad. He must have seen my red puffy eyes so he continued, "Rejection hurts, but there are plenty of others out there."

"Uuugh. It's not  _mine_." I crumpled the thing up and shoved it in my jeans pocket. "Sera wrote it. Cullen isn't even close to my type, anyway. This is stupid."

"Riiight. So what  _is_  your type?" He asked, seemingly interested. I rose a brow and put one of my hands on my hip.

"Why would that matter to you? I'm not interested in that kind of stuff." I lied, averting my eyes and setting the used bucket in the corner of the room where I'd found it.

"You're a bad liar, Screech." The dwarf chuckled and I scowled in response. I didn't need this, not now.

"Was there something you wanted?"

"Yes, actually. We're headed out tomorrow for a mission, thought I'd let you know. The Kid will need someone here if he happens to need some help. You're that person." He shrugged.

"Speaking of … how is he doing?" I asked hesitantly, leaning back onto the stone wall. Varric was standing near the door as he spoke to me.

"Alright. He's getting there. I had to show him how to use the privy, the other day. That was … interesting." I winced, wondering how embarrassing that had to have been. "Kid's got a long way to go, but I think he is doing fine."

I nodded, agreeing. "Yes yes. Daddy Tethras, awwwww." I cooed in a fake tone, causing the dwarf to hold up his hands and shake his head.

"Hey there, don't go making it all weird on me." He warned, leaning on the door frame.

"Does that mean Solas is mother?" I wondered aloud, eyes drifting to the ceiling. I fully intended to try and make it as weird as I possibly can.

"Screech … that's goin too far."

"It's okay, your secret is safe with me." I nodded sagely, walking passed him to go up to my room. I heard him sigh and mutter ' _I never win, do I?'_.


	15. Suppress

It's been a couple days since the Inquisitor and her party left and I was currently sitting in my room alone with my sister, visiting. It'd been far far too long since we've just sat down like this. She was assigned for the kitchens sometime this afternoon and I had the day off, so we spent a majority of the morning together just talking. I had forgotten what it was like to just sit around and bullshit with my little sister. Most wouldn't think she's capable of such things, since she upholds some kind of reputation. But since I'm her sister, I get to see the one side of her that others cannot.

I had just gotten done showing her my burn scars on my right arm and leg from back at Haven, recounting what I could remember. The whole time, she almost seemed to disbelieve me at first. But the scars were proof enough, as it was.

I pulled her iPhone out of my dresser drawer and handed it to her, taking a seat on my bed and crossing my legs. I sat there in some shorts and a shirt, my bed was messy and unmade as it usually was. The sun outside streamed in through the window and warmed the floorboards next to my bed. I could feel them as I sat back down. All in all, it was a pretty relaxing morning.

"Thanks... though I don't think I'll be needing this anymore." Angel smiled at me, pocketing her mobile device.

"Didn't you have this battery charger thing?" I motioned, making a box with my fingers. I was thinking about that portable charger she'd bought awhile back with the money she'd made. She shook her head.

"I used it already. Funny thing, I tried …" A mournful expression came across her face but she continued anyway, "I tried to have Eren charge it with his magic thingy? It blew up." My sister laughed, but it sounded almost hollow. I fidgeted, not knowing how to make her feel better.

"Blew up?" I continued, hoping good memories would make it easier for her. She nodded, her hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders.

"I thought  _'Oh hey, electricity'_  right? Well. One huge shock from his fingertips and ' _BOOM_!'. He got battery acid all over his hands." She laughs, "A-And the idiot licks his finger! He thought since it was burning, licking it would make it feel better."

I let out a groan, imagining how it must have looked. Or felt, for that matter.

"I know right? He had to flush his mouth out in the river nearby. And Gods, his hands!" She giggled, looking out the window behind me. "It was fortunate he knew some healing magic …" We were quiet for awhile, listening to the sounds of the birds outside mixed with the sounds of people sparring below. Since the training area was just outside of my window, I heard it quite a bit and was used to it by now.

I vowed that if I ever found this young man, I would do whatever I could to help him. Make sure he was safe. For my sister. And for the fact that he kept her safe when I could not.

We were broken out of our thoughts when my door slammed open, revealing a frantic looking Cole. Angel jolted and squealed, her head turning toward the door in surprise. He had a weird white bundle in his hand as he looked around, his eyes darting all over the room.

"Get back here, kid!" I heard someone yell from downstairs and Angel smiled widely, a small laugh coming out.

"I-It's Max, my boss. I've never actually seen him chase people out of the kitchens. Yet..." My brow rose and without hesitation I stood up and motioned for Cole to come in.

"Behind the dresser, hurry." He scrambled by without a word and crouched behind my dresser. My room felt much smaller now that there were three people in here. It was small, already, but damn. I closed the door, standing in front of it.

"I doubt  _that'll_  stop him, Lyn. He's a persistent bastard." Angel looked at me with an amused look in her eye. Seriously? I didn't know why the old man was chasing my friend, but he was probably going to open the door and try to search my room. I did the only thing I could think of that would make someone turn around and leave without question.

I shrugged my shirt over one of my shoulders, making it look like I was in the middle of changing. I stood there, with part of my sports bra showing and waited. Sure enough, the door was shoved open and I turned around and glared. An older man, maybe mid 50s stood in the doorway with big eyes. His beard and mustache were graying and he had a receding hairline. Just your average everyday old guy, really.

I stilled, looking at him with a pissed expression on my face.

" _Do you mind?_ I'm kind of changing." I growled out, giving him my best glare. He stuttered out an apology and slammed the door shut without question.

When we heard his footsteps descending the stairs, Angel burst into fits of giggles. I casually pulled my shirt back over my body, a small grin on my face.

"People and their social boundaries. It's hilarious,  _really_." I commented offhandedly, walking toward my bed and sitting down.

"H-He turned so pale!" She spoke between giggles, "But why?" She motioned toward my shirt, probably wondering why I did what I did.

"Nothing scares a man more than an angry woman. Don't they usually get really pissed when you walk in on them changing?" I tilted my head, curiosity lighting up in my eyes.

"Well,  _yeah_." Angel spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Woman logic: Wears bikinis but gets upset when you see them in their underwear." I shook my head and leaned back against my headboard. I slowly turned my gaze to my scrawny friend, who was still crouched behind my dresser. He was staring at me with wide eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"No. But Varric told me I wasn't supposed to be in the same room when a lady was changing. Is he going to be mad?" Cole sounded a bit worried, making me snort.

"It's not like you haven't seen me without my shirt on before, you know."

Angel choked.

"W-What?!" My sister grabbed my shirt and tugged on it, "I thought you guys were just friends! Why didn't you -"

"No! Not like that." I cut in, my eyes wide. I could feel my face heating up, "I-I. Well. You see. Sera doused me with water this one time and when I was changing in my room, my shirt got stuck on my head and I needed help."

Angel sighed, looking at me with a frown. "You get into more trouble than it's worth..."

"You have no idea."

" _Just_ friends? Is friends not enough?" Poor Cole sounded confused. He was likely completely lost as we sat there and babbled like old ladies. I let a breath out of my nose as I looked over at him, trying to keep my mind on the task at hand. This was exactly what I was trying to  _avoid_.

"That depends." "It's fine, Cole." Both my sister and I said at the same time. I looked to the side and glared at her. She kept going, though.

"Friends can develop stronger feelings for eachother." She sounded happy, turning her body toward him. Fucking hell. Angel was always a diehard romantic. I never could understand, really. This touchy feely crap was always so lost to me and I never paid any attention to it. Which was probably why my 'love life' was dead, I'm guessing. Eh. She looked like she was going to continue, but I spoke up before she could.

"No." I warned, "He's just now learning to be human, don't fill his head with your sappy romance crap."

"It's not sappy..." She murmured, looking at me with disdain. "Perhaps if you'd actually tried, you would see."

I hissed trying to keep my thoughts carefully blank, "I don't need to try anything."

"You're scared. Why are you scared?" Cole stood up slowly, walking forward so that he was in front of us. I felt my heart leap into my throat.  _No_.

"What's that?" I pointed at the cloth that was clutched close to his chest. Diversion attempt. He smiled, holding it out to me.

"It's for you. You like muffins and I saw some in the kitchens, so I grabbed some." Successful. But I failed to smother the amount of affection that seemed to worm it's way into my body. Fucking hell, that smile of his was going to give me away. I grabbed it gently out of his hands, holding it out in front of me. I swallowed, offering a nervous grin.

"T-Thank you..."

Angel cooed as I opened my little gift, "They're even blueberry. Soooooo  _cute_."

"Shut up!" I snapped back, my face set aflame. She gave me a knowing smirk, grabbing one of the two that sat in the cloth. She stood up and started to walk to the door.

"I've got to get ready for work. Thanks for the talk!" Angel left pretty quick, making me squint at the closed door. That bitch.

I sighed, ripping off a piece and stuffing it in my mouth. What will I ever do with that girl? I peered up through my rusty waves, staring at my friend. He was watching me with a small smile on his face. It was barely there, but I could see it. Through his blonde bangs, I could see a small red mark peeking out. I knitted my brows, reaching up to push his hair out of the way. It was a welt.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked, feeling displeasure at the thought that someone had hurt him. I fully intended to beat the crap out of whoever did it. He must have picked up on my irritation because he held his hands up.

"It was the cook. He was only doing his job. They were for the dinner. He caught me and … he threw a wooden spoon at me." My mouth was hanging open and I was trying not to laugh at the image I got in my head just now. Cole stealing muffins, only to get pelted in the head with a wooden spoon. I failed, because I started to giggle. My poor friend looked confused that I was laughing because he'd gotten hurt, so I waved him off.

"I'm sorry. I really am. Does it still hurt?" He shook his head at my question, "You can sit with me, you know. I'm not going to bite you."

"I-I never said you'd  _bite me_." His blue eyes were wide beneath his golden strands, obviously not getting the meaning behind the expression I'd made. Heh. Oops.

"You're right. It was a figure of speech, I wasn't being serious." He nodded, accepting my answer before sitting down where Angel had been. Now that he was at eye level, I could see dark circles forming underneath his eyes. Huh. Those hadn't been there before.

"They see me now. They remember. Their eyes stick and it's harder to help people." Cole sounded upset as he spoke, "Sometimes I do it wrong and I can't make them forget. Only for a moment."

"Things take time, Cole. I'm sure you'll figure it out." I nodded, setting the half eaten muffin on the small stand that sat next to the headboard of my bed.

"What if I don't? What if I can't help people like before. Ever again?" Okay, he was starting to sound a little hysterical now. Shit. "Then I can't be me. I- I."

I snatched his arm with my right hand, successfully quieting him. His mouth was still open as if he wanted to continue. I could see it in his eyes, how tired he looked. Had he ever slept before this? Before he started to change? I mean, Varric had to help him with a number of things already. Who's to say he couldn't sleep?

"Relax, you have such little faith in yourself." I sighed, grabbing a pillow and setting it in front of me. "When's the last time you slept?"

"But … I don't sleep." Cole spoke, as if it were obvious.

"You won't know until you try, now lay down." I patted the pillow and he stared at it curiously. He seemed at a loss. I took a deep breath, pushing my nervousness away and leaned forward and took his hat off. Cole lifted his hand as if to take it back, but I gave him a look. I set it on the bed near the wall and tugged on his shirt, near his shoulder, easing him down onto the pillow. He turned over so that he was laying on his back and he looked up at me.

I sat back, my body hitting the headboard of my bed and sat crosslegged.

"Calm. You look like … you're tired." I had to pause, since I was going to say  _'you look like hell'_. I'm going to have to explain figures of speech to him one of these days. We sat like that for a few minutes, but he didn't seem to drift off like I'd thought he would. I stared down at him, contemplating what I could do to help.

"I don't-"

"Close your eyes." I spoke softly. It almost surprised me, the amount of tenderness that made it's way into my tone right then. Hesitantly, I unclasped my hands from the sheets. I guess I'd been holding them in a death grip. Crap.

Gently, with shaking hands, I threaded my small fingers through his bangs and brushed them away. I thought I heard a small gasp as he locked gazes with me, but ignored it in favor of feeling his soft hair. I was also trying to suppress the warmth that settled it's way into my chest. Reluctantly, I saw him shut his eyes.

I sat there, delicately stroking his platinum locks. A small smile had worked it's way onto my face as I stared off at my wall. He can get through this. It usually took time to adapt to new environments, right? Granted, he'd been here for awhile. He just had to learn his limits and get used to this new lifestyle and he'd be up and at it again. I had no doubt about that. I kept these positive thoughts in my head, hoping he'd hear them as he lay there with his eyes shut. I didn't want to speak, for fear I'd wake him up. Soon enough, his breathing evened out as he relaxed and drifted off into a slumber. It worked. It actually worked.

I let out a quiet sigh of relief. He'd been getting a little worked up there, for a second. It had me worried. I sat still for about 10 minutes before I started to feel a little uneasy. I was just kinda stuck there with nothing to do but stare at the wall, or him. I felt kind of like a creep. My eyes would hesitantly flick down at his form in front of me, as if he'd open his eyes and catch me staring.

But he looked so cute and peaceful in his sleep. I peeked down at his face and I looked closer at the dark circles that lay underneath his eyes. It concerned me, that I hadn't seen them before. Did he even know that he was feeling tired? I moved my hand from his hair and gently swept my thumb underneath one of his closed eyes.

My gaze flicked over his facial features, slowly searing them into my mind as I let my fingertips ghost over his cheek. I let my brown eyes slide halfway shut and I was acutely aware of my heartbeat. It was strong, as it thudded against my ribcage. I frowned, feeling a light blush covering my face as I leaned forward. My rusty waves fell on each side of my face, forming a curtain. I had thought that if I pushed away the feelings I had that they would eventually just fade away. It seemed I was wrong, however, as I realized they only seemed to get stronger when we were like this. It was getting increasingly more problematic as the days went on.

Small things like what he did earlier when he got me a muffin, or when we'd make physical contact with eachother, even simply standing closely would make my hairs raise and I got flustered over such trivial things. I wanted to feel irritated about it. I wanted to  _hate it_. But I didn't. I found that I wanted more. I wanted him to feel it too. Longed for it, even. The affection I felt for my friend was really starting to get out of control. My hand stilled and I slowly pulled away, closing it into a fist.

The idea of him even feeling the same way toward me was ludicrous. He didn't even know what it felt like to be tired. He didn't need me going and messing things up and making it more complicated than it should be. I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth together, feeling a dull ache make it's way into my chest. If I wished enough, pushed them away and buried them … maybe it'll be like the feelings were never there?

I felt all the emotions I'd been feeling just now slowly fade as I forced myself to lock them away tightly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was telling myself this was the worst thing I could do. Because whenever I did this, pushed things away and locked them up, they always found a way to come back. And when they did … I'm sure I don't need to elaborate. It already happened once while I was here in this world.

I shook my head, what the hell was I doing?! I'm sitting here watching my friend sleep and pining over him like some lovesick teenager. I always used to watch people do these kinds of things from afar when I was in public, but never saw myself in this predicament. This was something that I really did not wish I'd ever have to go through.  _But here I am._  Wonderful.

Suddenly feeling like I needed to get up and away from here, I was stuck with knowing that I'd likely just wake him up if I jostled around too much. Suppressing the urge to grumble, I simply leaned back and closed my eyes to get a little nap in for myself. Perhaps next time I should think ahead before I do something.

* * *

It was nearing that 'week' mark that Lynn had warned me about. Since we were going to the Storm Coast, which was quite a distance away, I decided to at least try and be prepared this time. I'd already went to Adan and asked if he had anything on hand that I could use as a 'surprise' for my enemies. He'd suggested either a Jar of Bees or some Antivan Fire. Now, a Jar of Bees sounds like some fun but compared to fire?

And, me being me, I chose a few Antivan Fire grenades. Apparently all I had to do was chuck it at the ground nearby (not too close) or toss it and it'd break, coating the ground in some type of thick tar and it would light on fire. It sounded fun, so I excitedly spent my money on them. My inner pyro squealed in delight when I finally cradled them in my small hands. They weren't cheap, might I add.

Once I had everything ready, I was stuck sitting up in the loft with a piece of wood and my knife. I was bored out of my mind and waiting for the order from the Inquisitor to get the horses ready. So I was sitting up here carving randomly. Idly, I started making a huge coin shaped piece of wood about the size of my palm and humming some random tune. I had to make sure not to accidentally cut my long sleeves as I worked, because they were almost too long on my short arms. I had a dark blue tunic on over my long sleeve shirt and was wearing a pair of cargo pants (Surprise).

My sketchbook was sitting next to my knees and the cats up here were playing with the small leather string that was attached to the side of it. Originally, I'd wanted to draw but I still couldn't get myself to do it. It was like I was stuck and could only do it when I  _really_  felt the urge to. When I was younger, I could sit down all day and draw anything and everything. Back when it was so much more simple. I longed for that. I missed being able to just sit down and sketch.

Sighing, I set the piece of wood down next to my thigh and grabbed my book. I heard the wood floor creak from behind me, making me go still.

"She said to be ready to leave. Soon." Cole spoke, fidgeting with his hands as he stood there. "How long will you be gone?" I slowly began to gather my things, putting them in my bag which was sitting somewhere nearby. Blinking, I had to grab a kitten from out of my bag and set him aside. It mewled in disappointment at being taken from the warm confines of my bag. I gave a small smile.

"You can't come." I huffed and laughed quietly, standing up with my things. "I don't know, Cole..."

Turning around, I slung my bag over my shoulder and looked up at my lanky friend. He stood near the stairs, awkwardly. Some of the hay and straw moved around as I ambled up to him and I was about to walk by and go down the stairs, but he grabbed my arm. Smothering the urge to shiver, I rose a brow and peered up at him. He was looking at me with a frown.

I tilted my head, "What's wrong?"

"I feel … worried. Scared. What if you get hurt?" His grip on my arm tightened a little, though not painfully. "The Ben-Hassrath hurt people to get what they want. I don't like them. The Iron Bull is okay, though. He's different."

"I have my gun. If they try to hurt me or anyone I care about, I'll kill them." My eyes darkened as I stared at his shirt, not wanting to make eye contact. I was absolute in my choice. Not that I  _wanted_  to, but I would if I had to. "You don't have to worry. The Inquisitor and everyone will be there with me, remember?"

I turned so that I was facing him. We were standing on top of the stairs in the barn and I could hear the sounds of the horses in the stables nearby. I noticed how close we were standing to eachother and wanted to backpedal, but I couldn't move without dragging him along. I slipped my free hand out of my sleeve and grabbed his hand that was clasped on my arm, carefully pulling it off. Our fingers brushed together, making my chest buzz with anxiety. At least, I think it was anxiety. It certainly felt like it.

I looked up, seeing him staring down at me with a perplexed expression.  _Shit_. I can't do this. I shifted on my feet uneasily, pulling my hand away.

"Alright, Cole. I-I was wondering if you could keep an eye on my sister while I'm gone. Make sure she doesn't hurt herself." I attempted to divert. It seemed to have only half worked, because I saw a slight frown form on his face. Without waiting for an answer, I fiddled around with my bag's strap and stumbled my way down the stairs.

I started to saddle up the horses, a carefully blank look on my face. Once I was done, as if on cue, the whole party came in and started to grab their respective horses. It wasn't long until we were all sitting up in our saddles next to Skyhold's gates. I didn't know how long this would take, but I didn't really look forward to what the Ben-Hassrath would say or do when I just outright tell them no. Sighing, I looked around and did a headcount.

Looks like Bull and his Chargers were coming along. Lynn, Varric, Cassandra and Solas had their horses lined up next to eachother. It seemed everyone was ready. I flicked my gaze over toward where the tents were just at the bottom of the stairs and saw Cole standing there watching us, his face hidden by his huge floppy hat.

My lips twitched and, hesitantly, I held up a hand to wave at him. He nodded, then turned around to walk away. I blinked and turned to see everyone starting to walk across the bridge. This trip was going to be  _wonderful_.

* * *

A few days went by and we were camped out for the night and I was approached by Bull. It had rained all day, so we were kind of feeling miserable from all the riding and walking we had been doing that day.

"Look, if you're going to glare at me all day … at least have the common courtesy to come out and say it." He sounded a bit irritated as he spoke in a clipped tone.

I snorted. Yes, I was still a bit worked up over the fact that he'd reported to his little buddies so quickly. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be in this position. The only reason I haven't started to bitch him out was because it's kind of his job. To tell the Ben-Hassrath what he sees and whatnot, that is. I'll just let myself believe that he had no choice, that way at least I won't end up hating him. Bull is an okay guy, in my opinion. But right now? I felt like hitting him over the head with a stick. Maybe I'll paint his horns pink one of these days as revenge. Maybe I'll get lucky and he won't notice until someone tells him.

"I'm going to be completely honest here, Bull." I had to bite my tongue, trying not to let myself lash out and say something I'd regret. "I'm just … a  _wee bit_ pissed about what you did …."

"By  _wee bit_ , you mean _a lot_." He said blandly, his one eye looking down at me. The Qunari's face was set in a frown and I nodded. I stood up and walked away, sitting on a log next to the fire to warm up.

I heard Solas and Varric start to tease Cassandra about how destructive humans are. The Seeker looked a little irritated, and I just stared at the three with an amused expression on my face. Varric seemed to have noticed and he smiled, shaking his head.

"You aren't bothered by this?" The dwarf asked, sounding a little curious.

"No, not really. Should I be?" They were dissing on humans and I've got to be honest, I agree with them. We are pretty destructive, aren't we? "It's kind of true."

"Care to elaborate?" Solas spoke, his expression impassive. I silently wondered if he was still pissed at me for lashing out at him about a week and a half ago. I shrugged it off.

"Where I come from, there is nothing but humans." I put a hand to my mouth to hide my smirk. Solas and Varric looked perturbed at the thought.

"No magic. No dragons. Just humans and their …  _technology_." Bull spoke from behind me, completely butchering the word ' _technology_ '.

"Your world sounds kind of bleak. No offense, Screech." Varric said slowly, causing Bull to laugh.

"I won't disagree. The people there are shitty."

I stopped talking after that, watching the fire in front of me dance around. The warmth heated up my face and made me feel tired. Everyone seemed to be talking in their own little groups when I retired to my tent. Tomorrow, I've got some Ben-Hassraths to turn down.


	16. Access Denied

We were all standing in a small clearing on the Storm Coast, rain pelted down and soaked my hair. I was currently wearing layers of clothing, ensuring that I kept a little warm. It was chilly, though not overly so since we weren't in the mountains anymore. I had yet to get some light armor, since my savings always seemed to dwindle over time. Perhaps I should, eventually. For now, I'd just opt for staying in the background and picking people off silently.

My bow was slung across my back, along with a quiver full of arrows. My gun rested in my right pocket, with it's safety on, and my little pockets had some of my supplies in them. My bag was clipped onto the saddle of my horse, so I didn't have to carry everything. Said horses were standing idly nearby, tied to a fallen tree.

Our group was standing a ways away as Bull, Lynn and some elf named Gatt spoke to one another. I listened nervously, shifting my weight a little and hearing the water beneath my boots swish around. From what I heard, this Gatt person was the person we were supposed to meet about the alliance. Which means he is probably the one that's going to speak to me once they were finished.

The mission we had, currently, was to help the Qunari Dreadnought come in so that they could take out a ship. Our objective was to make sure the Venatori didn't get to it. It eventually came down to the fact that we needed to split our little group up. One would be us, the other would be the Chargers. I couldn't help but feel apprehensive about that, thinking of the horrors that could happen. Being a D&D player, I always know one thing.  _Never_  split the party up.  _Shit happens_. But this wasn't a game, so that made it ten times scarier. There were actual lives on the line here.

Bull walked away to speak to his Chargers and inform Krem of the mission. I frowned, seeing Lynn and Gatt exchange a few words. Soon enough, they both looked at me. Swallowing my anxiety, I walked forward with a scowl on my face in attempt to hide how I really felt. One good thing, I suppose, I knew how to bury my emotions with anger and irritation. It was a coping method I'd picked up. Not necessarily the healthiest … but it gets the job done.

"So, Hissrad said that you had a weapon that might be worth seeing. Needless to say, the Ben-Hassrath are interested." Gatt began without even allowing me to talk. Idly, I remembered hearing that Hissrad was the title they gave Bull. The elf had said something else … something to do with what it fired, but I had stopped listening. I wasn't going to make a deal with him, it wasn't worth it.

"Of course they are." My voice came out cold as I stared at the elf. He was the same height as me, his brown hair was brushed back and his green eyes seemed to observe my facial expression. He was reading me, trying to find my weakness. I growled, feeling threatened.

"I'm just here to offer a bargain." He began, shaking his head. "Since it was mentioned that it was powered by an explosive powder similar to Gaatlok. They are offering a small barrel of it in exchange for information on this … gun."

"Oh? What kind of information, might I ask?" My gaze turned flat and I felt my body tense. They say 'information' but something tells me as soon as I pull it out, I'll get jumped. Or I'm just being paranoid... I remember telling Bull that it worked similar to their cannons on the Dreadnoughts, so they knew that it was an advanced weapon they could possibly use and replicate for their own needs. I'm really regretting not just throwing this thing in a lake somewhere or maybe in a pit of lava.

"Show me how it works and I'll make a sketch of how it looks. Simple, right?" _'For now.'_ Went completely unsaid, but it was hanging in the air. Gatt had a small smile on his face, but I wasn't buying it. I squinted at him and forced a smile on my face. His smile faltered as he looked a bit unnerved by it. One upside to having a creepy smile, I suppose.

"That's gonna be a  _no_." I refused, "Your people don't need anymore weapons. I will have no part in it."

"I'll give you some time to think. Maybe I'll even throw in something more, to sweeten the deal."

What part of ' _no_ ' didn't he understand? I was about to run my smartass mouth again, but was cut off by a very nervous looking Lynn.

"We're ready to go." The spindly elf spoke as she clasped her hands in front of her. I nodded to her, feeling my wet waves stick to the side of my face as I wordlessly walked to our small group on the other side of the clearing.

We carefully made our way up a slight incline, a rocky path leading the way. I tried to stay quiet like the rest of the group, but only ended up getting my boot caught in some mud and almost tripping and falling on my face in the process. I could see tall pine trees on the sides with underbrush scattered beneath. Our group was pretty well hidden and we eventually came upon a camp at the top of a hill. There were a couple, actually. I felt my mouth go sour as I saw the familiar armor of the Venatori. Instantly, my mind was flooded with the memories of when I was captured by them.

Feeling the rage bubble up inside of me, I let out a feral sounding growl. My face was scrunched up into a snarl, teeth showing. It startled poor Solas, who was standing next to me. He stared at me with widened eyes, probably wondering if I was going to rip his throat out. My gaze was not on him, however.

"Venatori." I spat, my brown eyes flicked around the camp and counted how many. I saw a small white flag hanging nearby with their signature emblem, two dragons intertwining. Small iron barricades looked to be wedged behind the flag, protecting parts of their little camp. Seeing everyone get ready, I pulled out my bow and notched an arrow. My cold hands were clutched onto my bow in a death grip and I felt them shaking.

"We need to calm down, Screech. The rage will only make your arrows miss." Varric warned quietly from the other side of me. Solas seemed to nod minutely at the dwarf's statement. I started to breathe heavily, trying to calm myself down. He was right. I can't get like this everytime I see the Venatori. I'll end up putting an arrow through a teammate's head. Though, I wouldn't mind if I accidentally put an arrow through Gatt's head.

Varric and I both stood near an outcropping of bushes, Solas somewhere ahead casting spells and barriers. We'd gone into battle so suddenly that it almost shocked me. I kept up, though, firing alongside Varric and hitting the stupid bastards.

Lynn would spin and dodge in some sort of deadly dance, jumping from enemy to enemy and seemed to strike from the shadows themselves. Her daggers were a metallic blur and sometimes I would hear the blades sing as they clashed onto metal armor. Bull had rushed in headfirst and began to hack away at them like they were nothing, letting out war cries here and there to distract them. I was about to fire another arrow, but saw a shimmering in my vision making me go still. I aimed at the space in front of us, about 10 feet away, and fired.

It was by mere chance that I'd seen the enemy rogue and I was rewarded as my arrow made contact and hit him in the shoulder. He let out a grunt and lunged forward with one of his daggers. Not having the time to even notch another arrow to fire, I swung my bow like a club and heard it connect to his leather armor. It knocked his hand away, but he was relentless and was about to come at me again.

My eyes widened in panic.  _Fucking rogues!_

Before he could land a blow on me, however, Varric had shoved me out of the way and fired Bianca into his stomach and then finally into the bottom of his jaw. It didn't escape my notice how a small spurt of blood seemed to fly out of the dwarf's arm, just above his elbow. He'd been hit. Cursing, I stumbled forward.

"Eye on the game!" Varric yelled as he kept firing. I shook my head and focused back on the battle.

We finally finished off the last of them and I made my way into the camp, seeing their dead bodies scattered on the ground. Some of them were even missing their limbs and upon closer inspection, I could see just who had done that. Bull's huge blade was covered in blood as he sheathed it on his back. I watched Gatt walk forward toward a small fire on the cliffside.

"Right. Signaling the Dreadnought." He bent forward and lit off something that reminded me of a flare as it flew up into the sky. Bull pointed on the other side of the small ravine to the cliff and I could see Krem and the rest of the Chargers standing there.

"Chargers already sent theirs up. See em down there?"

"I knew you gave them the easier job." Gatt turned around and looked up at Bull, who smirked down at the elf. Of course he did. The Qunari appeared to care a lot about his little mercenary band of misfits. I didn't blame him, they were a fun bunch. I didn't spend a lot of time with him or his little group, but from the interactions I've witnessed they seemed like one big family.

I heard a loud rumbling from out on the water, the waves crashing against a huge ship that I assumed was the Dreadnought. Balls of fire arched up and over to a small ship, taking it out. The vibrations in the air made my ears tingle. I assume those balls of fire are this world's version of cannon balls, because it most certainly sounded like it. Looked like it, too.

"Crap..." I heard Bull breathe out, making me turn my gaze from the ships to him. He was looking down at the earth between the two cliffsides. The ravine. There was a small force of Venatori headed toward the Chargers, threatening to overrun them. I paled. See?  _This_  is why you never split the party up.

From my spot at the side, I didn't even think as I dug through my quiver and pulled out one of my arrows. Fast thinking on my part, but likely dangerous and might end up getting me killed? Yeah. I was thinking about stalling them enough to let them retreat, in the very least. I grabbed one of the two Antivan Fire grenades I had and started to use some thin leather strips, that looked kinda like shoelaces, and started to wrap it around the shaft of my arrow. The weight on it might make this useless, but I'd just aim a lot higher and hope I can get someone.

"I don't think that is wise..." I heard Solas say from beside me and I noted that I could hear Lynn, Bull and Gatt speaking about the possibility of calling a retreat for the Chargers.

"I never claimed to be wise, Solas. I think we both know that." I notched it onto my large bow, pulling the string back. The bald elf stepped back, his eyes on the grenade tied tightly to my arrow. What's the worst that could happen? If this somehow broke as I fired, I would be coated with tar and likely burn to death.

Huh.  _That_  didn't sound fun. Let's hope it works, then.

"What are you waiting for?!" I yelled back at Bull, who was looking torn on what to do. Lynn looked the same way, but I already knew that she wouldn't sacrifice the Chargers for this. She was too soft, which to most would be considered weakness. But she seemed to bring it out and use it to captivate her allies, which would in turn keep them that way. Lynn used it and made it into a strength. I admired her for that.

The alliance was important, yes. This was different. To willingly sacrifice some good men and women, to me, sounded stupid as hell. Then again, I was  _biased_  toward keeping them alive because I cared about them. I wouldn't admit it aloud, but I did enjoy the times that Krem would try to spar with me or poke fun at me. They didn't deserve to die like this. That and I already didn't like the Ben-Hassrath anyway. They could all go rot for all I cared.

"Call the retreat!" Lynn ordered, pointing at Bull's men. Her hair was plastered to the side of her face from the rain and her eyes were fierce, solid on her decision to keep his men alive.

"Don't!" Gatt argued and I aimed high, firing my arrow. Surprisingly, it worked, and followed a wide arc as it flew through the air and landed right beside the small group of Venatori that was next to the cliff as they got close to the path. Some of them were headed up the hill and toward the Chargers and some of them ended up burning and screaming. They mustn't have seen the arrow, because they didn't even look for the source of the explosion.

I'd have thought that since it was raining, the fire wouldn't burn for that long. But the sticky substance seemed to keep it fueled for almost a good minute before going out. By then, a couple of them were motionless on the ground.

The horn sounded and I watched Krem and the rest of them fall back to safety. Letting out a small sigh of relief, I turned around and looked at our group. Solas was looking at me like I'd lost my mind and almost got myself killed while the others seemed focused on Gatt as he paced, looking pissed. I gave the bald mage a small smirk and walked a little closer to the group.

The small elf sounded pretty angry as he yelled at Bull. I was looking back down at the shore, though, as a row of Venatori mages focused on the ship and began to fire at it with their magic. Just when I thought the Dreadnought was about to sink, it blew up and sent shockwaves onto the cliff we were on. The rumbling was so intense that it made the ground shake a little. My eyes were wide as I saw it explode like a lego sculpture and float apart, completely in tatters.

* * *

The mud was really starting to piss me off, but I was happy that I had some pretty good boots. I'd gotten pretty lucky back there when the rogue almost got me. Better thank Varric later for saving my ass. Also … I really need armor. Because that dagger would have carved me like a holiday turkey. Not a fun way to die, I would imagine.

We were close to the clearing where our horses were when I saw a shadowy figure standing next to some bushes ahead. I wasn't the only one that saw it, because I saw Varric pull out his crossbow.

"Inquisitor-" Lynn looked back to address Varric, who was currently trying to warn her, but she got shield bashed by a huge warrior in full plate armor. I heard my elf friend scream as she went tumbling down into the mud with a loud  _'splash!'_

They came out and jumped us before we could even pull out our weapons. Lynn was doing one of her ninja rolls and was about to get back up but the warrior above her was mid-swing, about to chop her in half.

"Lynn!" I yelled, pulling out my bow and notching an arrow faster than I ever have. In the middle of this, however, Bull had already started to fight the warrior. The massive Qunari let out a loud battlecry, making a few of the nearby enemies attack him in a flurry of movement. Lynn had disappeared and would occasionally reappear to strike from the back.

They didn't look like they were Venatori, they didn't have the armor for it. No emblem. Just normal armor. I was about to fire another arrow when I was pushed to the ground from my left, where there was an outcropping of trees. Of fucking course! They would be back  _here_  too. This was an ambush.

I let out a loud grunt as I hit the muddy water, hearing it splash around. My whole body got soaked as I did a roll, losing my bow in the process. Scrambling up into a crouched position, I looked up and saw a warrior walking leisurely toward me with a longsword out.

Peering over to my side quickly, I saw that all the other enemies were dead except for this guy. Lynn looked a little worse for the wear and Solas was sporting a pretty nasty bruise on the side of his face. Other than that, the others (Bull and Varric) seemed relatively unscathed.

"Stay over there if you want your friend to live." He warned them loudly, his voice sounded oddly high pitched for a man of his size. He stood there in some light armor and no helmet as he sneered down at me. This man had scars all over his face and arms, from what I could see, and his hair was a mass of long dreadlocks that fell passed his shoulders. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my gun, unlocking the safety. I stood up and aimed it at him and in turn he lifted his sword and aimed it at me. He was far enough away that if he thrusted forward I may have a small chance to dodge. But … knowing my luck.

"You don't want to fire that within this range." He smirked, as if he'd already won. Ah, so he knew about my lovely weapon. This means he works for Bull's old buddies, I'd assume. I couldn't be completely sure, though. I rose a brow, did he think that my gun was explosive? I'm guessing Bull's reports weren't as detailed as I thought them to be.

I had been in the back of the group, so the others were standing off to the side staring at us as we had our little standoff. The warrior held up his free hand with his palm out.

"Give it here and I won't have to hurt you."

He thought I was helpless. That I wouldn't be able to fight back because I had no armor on and only had this little chunk of metal in my hand. Either he was stupid or misinformed. It pissed me off to no end that these people went through all of this trouble just for a  _weapon_. Solas and Varric are wrong. Humans weren't the only ones that were horrible. I was slowly beginning to actually believe that all people were like this, deep down. Even … me. I felt my eyes darken.

This is  _my_  fault, though. I told Bull that it used ammo that was similar to Gaatlok. Of course they would want this. I was really beginning to hate these people too, along with the Venatori. I glowered, aimed at the man's sword arm and fired.

_**'BANG!'** _

It rang through the forest, echoing in the distance and I could even hear birds nearby flying away in a panic. That was drowned out by the man's yell, however. I heard some gasps from my right, but they were ignored as I focused on this man in front of me. He dropped his sword and I could see blood starting to pool out of his shoulder.

"Who sent you." I stated in an oddly passive tone. It wasn't a question, a simple statement. An order. I had to be  _sure_  as I stood there and watched him. He was holding his arm with his other hand and trying to stop the blood. This man had been wearing lighter armor, instead of the full plate I'd seen on his other buddies.

I heard him say something in another language that sounded oddly like curses and he spat at the ground in front of me. I aimed at his leg and fired.

_**'BANG!'** _

He screamed again, falling to his knees into the muddy water. I could see a flicker of fear in the man's eyes as he stared up at me, now holding his leg. I repeated my statement, but still didn't get an answer. I was about to shoot his other leg but was interrupted.

"They're trained not to say a thing, Lyn. There's no point to this." I heard Bull warn, hearing his heavy footsteps coming closer. Ah, so it  _was_  one of his old buddies then.

"You're right." I frowned, "My mistake..."

"Now-"

_**'BANG!'** _

I saw my enemy fall forward into the mud, face first. I looked away before I could see what the back of his head probably looked like. Putting the safety back on my gun, I pocketed it. The wildlife around us was eerily quiet as I turned around, hair plastered to my face.

"We should get moving." I sighed, ambling over toward the rest of the group. Solas was staring at me with a frown, obviously disappointed in what I'd just done. Both Lynn and Varric looked sad, staring at the ground with their weapons sheathed.

I frowned, feeling the fear return. I didn't like this. I didn't ask for this. I knew that the instant that I went into Law Enforcement that I'd end up eventually shooting at someone. Even my instructors told me that they wished none of us would have to kill someone, because it was so emotionally scarring. And _it was_. This was …

I can't even remember how many I've killed by now. Not only with my gun, but with my bow as well. I even burned a few Venatori down in the ravine with my Antivan Fire grenade. Granted, I've always been in life or death situations at the time.

I don't want to turn into one of those people that start to pretend that the people I kill aren't … people. That would eventually make me into a monster, wouldn't it? If I let it twist me into something I'm not. I started to breathe heavily as I stared down at the puddles beneath my feet. I could have been killed, just because people are so hungry for power. Hungry for an advantage in a war that was not my own.

"How do you deal with this?" I asked as I turned around to look at the rest of the group. Lynn shook her head, a sad look on her face.

"Let's find the Chargers and get to a camp, okay?" She suggested and I nodded numbly, following along beside her. I didn't even want to look at the rest of the party as I followed behind them with a disconnected look in my eyes.

"Chief!" I heard Krem call from just down the slope. He ran up the hill to meet us halfway, "We heard something in the distance. Did you hear it?"

"It's alright, Krem. It was just … Lyn's gun." Bull reassured, sounding a little cautious. I'm sure his lieutenant already knew about it, since he didn't seem to keep much from him. I knew that everyone within Lynn's inner circle knew about it, but not much other than that it had ammo similar to Gaatlok and that it was  _not_  magic. At least that way I didn't have Cassandra shoving her sword up my ass about it, then.

Krem looked over at me, probably seeing my lack of response to the situation. I was trying not to freak out about it. Trying my hardest not to think about the man or –

"You alright?" Krem was standing right beside me. When had he gotten here? He was over by Bull last I saw. I blinked slowly, looking up at him.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, to me." He was trying to get me to talk about it, but I didn't want to. I frowned, sending a halfhearted glare up at him.

"Come on, let's get going." I heard Lynn say from atop her Hart. I couldn't agree more, I just wanted to get out of here.

On our way back to Skyhold that day, I heard a few people in the party speaking about the incident. It was mostly between Bull and his Chargers, as he explained to Krem what had happened with the Ben-Hassrath that attacked me. Krem was full of questions, seemingly having a deep fascination with how easily I'd been able to kill the man. I didn't even have to so much as twitch a muscle to send him to his knees, screaming. Looking at me in fear. Resentment.

I felt my eyes dilate and my vision blurred. My hand flew to my face, my breathing quickened. I was trying to push back the memories of what I'd done to that Venatori mage that ripped my tunic. All the blood. Ripping. Tearing. Screaming. The gunshots. How I'd just mercilessly killed all of them, as well. I could practically taste the blood in my mouth again, the smell permeated the air and I bit back a scream.

"Hey!" I felt something slap me in the middle of the head, causing me to blink and come back to the world around me. We were stopped and I could see some of them setting up camp for the night. A fire was being built in the middle. My gaze focused on the person standing next to my horse, a hand on the reins to prevent it from moving away.

Krem was standing down there with a frown on his face, a wet stick in his free hand. I nodded to him, shakily getting off of my horse. He was about to help me off, but I growled at him.

"I'm fine."

"You keep saying that but -"

"I don't need your help!" I bit out, my eyes full of the fear and rage I still felt from just hours before. I was fine. I just needed some time to collect myself. I didn't …

"Get a hold of yourself, already!" He grabbed my shoulders and started to shake me. His grip wasn't that tight, but I felt myself flinch away at the foreign contact.

"Fuck off!" I screeched, lashing out and pushing him away. I felt cornered. Krem wanted me to talk it out. But I didn't want to talk about it. I was far too frustrated to even think straight right now and I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to cool off. He stumbled away, his face oddly blank as I turned to walk away.

"Oh no you don't..." I felt his hand on my shoulder, pulling at it to turn me around. I gritted my teeth, swinging my right arm as I turned around to punch him in the face. It didn't work, however, because he seemed to have anticipated it. Krem caught my fist in his hand and held it still. "Not this time."

It was so sudden. The next moment we were pushing and shoving, then on the ground wrestling with eachother. All the while, I was trying to scratch at him and punch him. We would occasionally break apart, only to begin grappling again. I felt my world turn as he picked me up, my eyes widened as I saw everything seem to tumble in slow motion.

"Someone stop them!" I heard Lynn call frantically right as I was tossed to the ground, my back hitting the earth. I felt the wind get knocked out of me as I lay there trying to catch my breath. Krem was pinning me to the ground again, just like the first time we'd sparred. Only this time he wasn't decked out in full plate armor. He was in his clothing.

"No, just wait." Bull's voice.

Once I was finally able to breathe again, I was gasping for oxygen. I began to struggle a little bit, but my arms were pinned above me. Even without his bulk from his armor, he was still able to immobilize me so easily. My arms went limp and I looked up at Krem, expecting to see him smirking down at me. That wasn't the case, though, because he looked worried. His face set in a small frown.

"It's hard. It really is. But you need to remember you only did it to protect yourself and your friends. That's what makes you different from them." Krem offered from above me, his grip loosening off of my arms. It was almost like he knew what was wrong with me, what had been bothering me during our ride. He sat up straight, easing himself off and standing. I sat up, a frown on my face.

I felt better, oddly. I mean, I wasn't completely fine but this had definitely helped. I was never one to talk out my feelings or anything, so I suppose it made sense that this was how I could vent my frustrations.

"Thanks." I grunted, standing up and feeling my muscles ache from our little wrestling match. "Didn't mean to lash out on you like that."

"It's fiiiine. Me and the Chief do it all the time. It's a good way to release the steam, ya know?" He smiled down at me. We made our way to the camp, the ground still wet beneath our feet. It had stopped raining the further we got from the Storm Coast. Bull and Lynn had been standing nearby, the latter looking a bit perplexed at the fact that we were completely fine now after we just got done trying to beat eachother up.

It wasn't new to me, the rough-housing and wrestling. When I lived with my Aunt, I had 7 brothers. Well, they were my cousins but we lived together so long that I still considered them my brothers. Growing up with that many guys kinda gave you a resistance to rough play and all the like.

I sat on a log that was dragged into camp near the fire, letting out a sigh. Solas and Varric were sitting near eachother on the other side of the fire and a few of the Chargers still lingered nearby.

"Not used to the killing, hmmm?" I heard a delicate voice ask and I looked up at them with a frown. Of course I wasn't. It was the blonde elf from Bull's crew named Dalish, I think.

"Dalish!" I flicked my gaze over just in time to see that it was the other brown haired elf that yelled at her companion. Yep, her name was Dalish.

"What? It's true, isn't it?" Dalish blinked, her vibrant green tattoos on her face being illuminated by the fire. One side of her head looked to be shaved, most of her blonde locks pushed off to the other side. I always thought those kind of hairstyles looked weird, but on her it looked really nice. I nodded in response.

"Where I come from, there is a lot of war. But if you're lucky, you won't have to actually encounter it." I crossed my arms and looked into the fire.

"Didn't you say you saw things happen?" Varric butted in, sounding a bit curious. I sighed, leaning forward. How in the hell am I going to explain this?

"It's the technology. We're able to see things happening around the world, because of it. I could go into a long winded explanation, but I'd just end up confusing you guys even more." I shrugged, not taking my eyes off of the flames as they danced in my vision.

"What about that gun of yours?" Krem sounded curious as he sat next to me. A little too close for comfort, actually, so I ended up shifting uneasily. I didn't want to just scoot away, feeling maybe I'd offend him.

"What about it?"

"Do they have a lot of those where you come from, is what I mean." I paused as he clarified his question and I began picking at the hem of my sleeve.

"Yes. The one  _I_  have can be issued to civilians in my country, with the right paperwork. The military has ones that fire faster and are much more powerful." I thought back on the military in our world and how much more devastating our wars were. Well,  _here_  they had the threat of a Blight and that it pretty devastating in itself. They also had dragons, magic and all that crap here, so I wasn't even sure which world was more dangerous.

"Are you serious?" I heard Lynn ask incredulously from my right, I looked at her and nodded.

"I just hope that Corypheus doesn't find a way through. I'm not so much afraid of what he'd do there. I  _am_  scared of what would happen if some of the people from there found their way  _here_." My gaze turned flat, "Our worlds were not meant to intermix. But here I am."

"You know, I'd be inclined to call you crazy with all this other world crap. But..." I heard a gruff voice say from behind Dalish. It was the dwarf man. I don't even know their names and I was kind of afraid to ask. I'd probably end up offending them somehow. I'm almost sure Krem or Bull introduced me once, but I was never good with names. Shit.

I shrugged, I'd probably see things the same way had I been in their position. I wasn't looking for them to believe me, anyway, since I was simply answering Krem's question. The conversation kind of died down after that, though, so I was left alone in my thoughts.

Later that night I sat near the fire with the piece of wood in my hands, whittling at it with one of my smaller knives trying to keep my mind on something else. Anything else. It was starting to smooth out, the wood looking almost white as I started to shave at it. I had an idea forming in my head, and it sounded incredibly cheesy. But friends do this, right? Back home they had friendship bracelets, friendship necklaces and all the like for sale everywhere. So I decided that I would end up carving one for Cole, to show him how much he meant to me.

My grip tightened on the piece of wood and my lips thinned. Angel was going to laugh at me when she found out, but I didn't care. I lazily began to make small curves and swirls on the wood with the end of my knife. They were deep, but not too much. I took my time, my brows furrowed. I intended to cover the coin shaped wood in them. They started to kind of look like vines as I had a small portion of it marked up.

I was alone on this side of the fire, as the rest of the party was sitting over by the tents chatting quietly amongst eachother. I began to hum quietly, picking away at the wood with a small smile on my face. I remained lost in my thoughts as I kept working on the thing in my small hands.

**Third Person**

_(Meanwhile back at Skyhold)_

It was the third day since Lyn had left and Angel felt she was at her wits end. The small girl had a constant shadow that followed her wherever she went. She knew that Lyn had told him to keep an eye on her, much to her chagrin, and Cole seemed to take it entirely too seriously.

Just a day ago she had to yell at him for his creepy mind reading thing, which seemed to make her jittery. The girl would never understand how Lyn just seemed to accept it and allow him to dig around in her head so freely. Angel had told him straight out;  _'That's creepy! Just stay out of my head!'_ she'd yelled and he only blinked at her and apologized … not at all sounding apologetic.

It was dawn when she cracked her eyes open, feeling groggy. Why had she woken up this early? She let out a light groan, sitting up. She clutched her stomach, feeling some pretty massive cramps taking hold. Eyes widening in alarm, she flew out of bed. Her bare feet hit the cool wood floors, making a light ' _thump!'_  as she scrambled to look at her bed.

When she was little, this used to happen quite often. Angel could feel embarrassment flood her as she stared, seeing a small palm sized red spot. She went to bed with white sheets and woke up with a Japanese flag. Okay maybe not  _that_  bad, but in her eyes it was.

Angel has been having cramps for awhile now and it didn't even dawn on her since she's been so busy in the kitchens and trying to settle herself into her new home. Angel was horrified when she first learned how the women would take care of their menstrual cycles here, using washable rags and all the like.

Silently thankful that she didn't share a room with anyone, she was about to take off her small knee length nightdress to change and wrap it up to wash later but was interrupted by a cold hand being placed on her shoulder.

She shrieked, stumbling back toward her window and looked at who was in the room with her. _It was Cole._  At first she was angry, but soon found that she was mortified that he likely saw what was on her bed.

"You're  _hurt_. Y-You should go see Adan, he will be able to help!" His eyes were wide, as if frightened, as he grabbed Angel's shoulders.

"L-Let go of me! It's fi-" She was cut off as he grabbed her and hefted her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Cole turned around, throwing the door open and almost ran down the stairs of the tavern to make his way to the infirmary. All the while, Angel was banging her fists on his back and yelling.

"Put me down, Cole! Stop!" She squeaked out, feeling humiliation creep up as she realized that he was carrying her (ass first) through the confines of Skyhold for everyone to see.

In all her life, she's never felt so embarrassed in her life as her face turned completely red. She was almost turning purple, even, as he opened the door to the infirmary and plopped her down on the cot. His voice was rushed as he tried to explain to the healer,

"She's hurt. She's bleeding. I-I didn't know what to do –"

"I-Idiot!" Angel stood up, her fists clutched at her sides. She was about to slap Cole, but knew that would get her nowhere. The girl saw the face of the old healer, who looked like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. His graying eyebrow twitched, irritation showing in his eyes as he finally realized what was going on.

Without even saying anything, he grabbed some items off of the shelves nearby and handed a bundle of things to Angel. She took them without question, seeing a worn out looking outfit and some rags.

"Go change behind that curtain." He ordered, his voice sounding flat. She nodded frantically, scurrying off behind the curtain in the corner of the hut. As she began to change, wincing as she did so. How was she going to show her face outside, now? Something like this has never happened, before.

"Maker's Balls, child … you're in a for a good lecture." She heard the old man say, sounding resigned. "Has no one had  _the talk_  with you yet? You seem old enough. More than old enough, actually."

She didn't even hear Cole answer as she peeked quickly through the curtains and saw Adan with one of his hands on Cole's shoulder, his face serious. Lyn's friend, however, looked confused as he stared through Adan. He was probably doing his creepy mind reading thing.

Shivering, she finished up and bundled her things in a ball and made her way toward the door to go hide herself in shame.

"Males and females go through a change in their bodies at a certain age …." He began, forcing Cole to sit down in a chair in front of him. Angel threw the door open and ran, shutting it harder than she really should have.

On her way back, she noticed that there wasn't even very many people out like she'd originally thought. A few may have seen the incident, but she still couldn't help feeling like she needed to hide under a rock and die. One small victory, she supposed, was that Cole was now being forced through the talk about puberty and hormones.  _Serves him right._

**First Person**

We were almost back to Skyhold, but had to make camp again when someone started complaining about the injuries they'd sustained during the attack. I didn't blame them, really. I also didn't mind, since I was almost done with the small gift that I was carving. It was a norm, these passed few days as I'd sit alone by the fire and hum to myself quietly as I worked at the wood.

At some point I'd cut it apart so that it made two pieces. In my world, they made necklaces with hearts but that seemed too … I don't know.  _No_. I wouldn't do that. That was just too stupid. So I settled with a Yin and Yang two piece necklace. I had some thin leather straps left in my pouch (which was why I bought them, actually) and I was carving a hole on each of them near the thicker curve where it was supposed to rest. Once I had them separated and the holes carved into them, I shaved at it with my knife to make sure it was smooth.

I stained my piece of the necklace with some coffee that someone happened to have one morning, making it look dark brown. It was the closest to black I would get without paint. I didn't want to paint them, though, because the wood looked so beautiful and it might cover up the etchings I'd made. It looked beautiful, like vines were spreading around both of them. I'd made sure to put it on both sides and it took me hours. I finished it up by tying the straps delicately, making it into a large loop.

"I've seen you working on these for awhile now, what are they?" I heard Lynn's accented voice from above me. Flustered, I fumbled around with them in my hands and stuffed them in my pocket.

"I-It's nothing. Really." I smiled nervously, getting a raised brow from the elf rogue.

**Third Person**

_(Meanwhile, back at Skyhold.)_

Angel had been doing pretty well around Skyhold, for the most part. No one had commented on the situation she'd got herself into a few mornings ago. She helped in the kitchens the best she could and Max, her boss, had even asked her to show him how to make the cinnamon rolls that she'd mentioned. For another time, then.

It was nice, because back at Redcliffe she had been brushed aside and looked at oddly. The people here, however, were different and didn't seem to look twice at her on the days she'd wear her clothes from home. She learned to wear dresses and stuff from this world, to fit in. Not that she complained, she  _loved_  them.

Angel sat at the bottom of the steps in the lower courtyard and stared at a couple that were talking right in front of the gate. There was moss on the walkway and the trees and grass were green. Which startled her at first when she'd first arrived. They were up in the snowy mountains, and this fortress seemed untouched by the weather conditions outside. She gazed down at the couple, arms crossed. One was the fancily dressed lady named … Josephine (She remembered being introduced, faintly)? The other was a bearded warrior with full plate armor on.

She could tell that they liked eachother, by the way they stood so close to one another as they spoke a greeting. The bearded man bowed, grabbing the ambassador's tanned hand gently and kissing it. Josephine smiled down at him, allowing him to do so.

"Why does he do that? Put his lips on her hand like that." Cole spoke from Angel's right. It didn't even surprise her now, since he'd been hanging around her since Lyn had left. She was calm now, no longer feeling upset toward him because he genuinely didn't know what was wrong with her at the time. He was standing near the staircase and observing them with her. She sighed, thinking they were pretty cute together. Why did they do that, though? Hmmmm.

"It could be for a number of reasons. He's showing his affection toward her, I know. I'm not completely sure though, since I don't know about the culture here. Did you see the way she blushed when he did it? So cute..." Angel rested her head on her hand and leaned forward, her lips curved into a gentle smile.

"When he did that, her song got louder. Reaching out. Wanting. No … needing him to be closer. She likes him a lot."

Despite the fact that she still thought the way he just seemed to  _know_  people's thoughts was creepy, she couldn't help letting out an, " _Awwwww_... I knew it! What about the bearded man? Does he feel the same way?" She couldn't help it. She was a sucker for romance.

Cole tilted his head, as if remembering something. He then seemed to focus a little on the scene before them. "Voice delicate and delectable. Sweet, soft, silky. Her dress … and also  _under_  her dress."

Angel felt her face pale, then flush a deep red. That was … personal. "O-oh. I …." The small girl squeaked out, sitting up straight.

"Sometimes I also wonder … What Lyn looks like under her clothes." Cole spoke offhandedly, his head still tilted to the side. He turned his blue gaze down to Angel, who looked like she wanted to run. The girl swore she could feel her face about to burn itself off. She didn't need to hear that!

"C-Cole!" She yelled in horror.

"What? Is that  _bad_?" His sounded frightened, eyes wide.

"W-Well … Nooo..." Angel's voice tapered off quietly, "It's ahh... oh man." She wavered, wondering if she should even be having this talk with him. "It's  _normal_  for young men, it's fine. Didn't Adan have this talk with you?! Ask whatshisface. The short man?"

"But Varric isn't here." He stated, brows furrowing.

"T-These are personal thoughts. You can't go blurting them out!"

"I'll … try."

" _New_  subject." Angel let out a nervous laugh, her hands running through her hair. She really did not want to continue down that road. Who knows what else he'd end up blurting out? "You said her song got louder. The woman in fancy clothing … what did you mean?"

"Blackwall has one too. It's always there. Silent. Soft. When they're close they intertwine." He clasped his hands together, as if making a point. His gaze did not leave the couple, though.

Angel sat there, trying to comprehend what it was that he was even talking about.

"Does … does everyone sound like this to you?" She tried to get him to elaborate. Despite the fact that she couldn't really completely understand, she found herself interested. The way he saw things was certainly odd, but kind of enlightening.

"No. Just some people. The Inquisitor and Sera's are very loud. They like being close to eachother and when they press their lips together their songs harmonize. They shine brighter." Cole started to hum a low soft tune, as if trying to imitate it. He rocked back and forth slightly on the balls of his feet, eyes closed.

"Ah! So … they're in  _love_. Is that what you're talking about?" Angel beamed, her eyes taking on another light. "That's … so cool."

He was able to  _hear_  it when they had those special feelings for eachother. And maybe more, at that. The thought itself baffled the young girl, yet intrigued her at the same time. Mostly because she loved music and often played instruments back home. Music was her calling and the fact that he could hear the melodies within people's souls, essentially, made her feel  _awestruck_.

Angel could see why her sister was so drawn to the young man. Though … she's certain it was in a  _different_  way. Angel smirked, she's never seen her sister act the way she did around Cole. It was peculiar and she intended to fish out some answers when she got back. The small girl idly wondered if he was aware of Lyn's feelings for … for …

Her eyes snapped up at the young man, seeing him staring down at her with his piercing gaze.

"I told you to stop that!" She squealed, standing up next to the stone stairs. Angel puffed out her cheeks and stomped, trying to look intimidating. It didn't work, though, since she resembled an angry chihuahua. The girl whirled around and ran up the staircase, intending on going to her room to be alone.

The last thing Angel needed was Lyn to be mad at her because she gave away her secret. Her sister may have thought she hid it well, but Angel knew her all too well. To her it was clear as day. To be honest, she never thought she would see the day …


	17. Turmoil

Cole watched as Lyn's little sister sped off up the stairs. He was about to follow her, but was distracted by the sounds of clicking hooves as they walked across the small bridge toward Skyhold's gates. Among the small group of soldiers was Lyn, looking a little worse for the wear. But she was alive. She was in one piece.

Ever since his change, he noticed a lot of things were different in the world around him. This included himself. Cole found that he was learning and remembering a lot easier than he had before the incident. Varric was a lot of help and always gave him advice on anything he asked for. Solas was there for him, too. Lyn always wanted to help him, showing an amount of concern for his well-being he hasn't seen her reserve for anyone else but him. That thought always seemed to make him happy.

Before she'd left awhile back, he found himself quite worried about her. He felt it settle in his stomach. Fear, he realized. Fear of losing her. He attributed it to the fact that he cared about Lyn a lot. It was different than he felt with Varric or Solas, he knew that much.

Currently, Cole was standing in the corner of the stables watching her put things away. Her body moved at a sluggish pace and he could tell that she was worn down. Her blue tunic had dirt on the edges and her pants had stains scattered about. Lyn's hair was even messier than usual, as she continued her work. The otherworldly girl didn't even notice him standing right there. Even some of the other stablehands peered at him as they walked by to tend to the horses after their long journey.

When he saw her move to put her horse in it's stall, he made his way up to her. The rogue stood behind her, waiting as she locked the stall door and turned around to come face to face with him. Her nose almost bumped into his chest, she had been so distracted. He saw her brown eyes widen as she faltered, taking a step back. She bumped into the stable door, the horse too busy with it's food to care.

"I didn't see you there..." Lyn spoke, her voice passive.

"You feel lethargic, sluggish. You should get some sleep." Cole offered, seeing the dark circles underneath her eyes as she stared up at him. He always found himself mesmerized by the small little freckles that dotted her cheeks and nose. Her eyes were such a dark brown that it was almost hard to gauge her feelings from them alone.

It was his gift that allowed him to better understand the girl. She liked to wear a mask all of the time. Cole knew a lot of people that came to Skyhold that did that, but they played a game to net approval with the Inquisition. They used it for gain and he never could understand it. It confused him to no end. Lyn, however, hid behind a mask of irritation and anger. She made people believe she didn't care, but it was quite the contrary. As far as he knew, it was only he and Angel that knew this.

Lyn let out a grunt of disapproval, her gaze flicking over to where the other stablehands were working on the horses. Always stubborn.

"Yeah, my ass hurts from the ride back but I still need to finish this up." She disagreed, moving to walk passed him. Cole grabbed her arm gently, feeling her tense up beneath his grip. He let out a small smile and chuckled at her determination. He saw the scowl on her face waver and almost completely disappear for a second, before it snapped back into place. The look in her eye, however, completely changed as she observed his features.

"You're going to hurt yourself." Cole had realized awhile back that he really liked to touch her and found himself doing it quite often. He let his hand trail down her arm, watching with rapt interest as her facial expression completely changed. Grabbing her hand, he allowed his fingers to intertwine with hers.

 _'Does he even know what he's doing?'_ Yes. He did. He could feel the whispers coming from her. Hear the beginnings of a beautiful tune start up, again. It was muted, like she was trying to keep it hidden. Keep it at bay. He felt his heartbeat pick up in anticipation. Just when he thought he was going to hear it … she clamped down on it viciously. Cole could see the pain enter her dark eyes as she did this, causing him to frown in response.

She did this before, too. Right before they left for the Storm Coast almost a week ago. Lyn was trying to smother it and it was hurting her in the process.

"Lyn..." He started,

"R-Right. Okay. Fine. I have something for you, anyway." She blurted, her cheeks had taken on a lovely shade of pink. He found himself being lead out of the stables and into the barn. Blackwall was there, working on a wooden sculpture. Lyn cursed under her breath and dragged him outside of the barn in the front, away from prying ears.

"I … made something." She muttered, barely audible. Lyn seemed to notice she was still holding his hand and let go, fidgeting nervously. She was never this way around anyone else, always composed with a frown on her face. He smiled, already knowing she made a necklace for him. It had been floating around in her mind since she arrived. She worked all week on it. The thought made him feel kind of warm on the inside.

The girl fumbled around in her pocket and pulled two of them out. Both similar, one white and one dark brown. It was quite obvious that when put together, they formed a whole. A circle. She held out the white one to him. Her face was turned away as she glared at the well nearby, looking flustered.

"H-Here! Take it."

Cole looked down and saw her little fingers clasped on a small wooden pendant, a thin leather strip acting as the necklace. He grabbed it and before he could react, he saw her slip the other piece on around her neck.

"You were right, I'm tired. I think I'll go and sleep for a-awhile!" Lyn stuttered and scurried off across the lower courtyard, escaping. Cole blinked, looking down at the piece of wood in his hand. He could see the delicate little engravings that were strewn across the whole thing. Running the pad of his fingertip across them, he let out a small gasp.

Lyn would never realize how profound this simple little gift was to him. He stood there for awhile, staring at the wooden pendant. Finger trailing over the engravings that were etched into the wood. Listening to them. Feeling them as they whispered to him.

**First Person**

The sun was starting to set when I finally woke up from my nap. The ride back today had been relentless, causing my ass to hurt from the hard saddle. I was sore as I sat up, letting out a groan. I stretched my legs, feeling my muscles ache in response. After the soreness subsided a bit, I started to slowly tread my way down the stairs and into the bottom floor of the Herald's Rest. To be honest, I just didn't want to be alone with my thoughts right now. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, I could hear Sera and Bull talking at a table.

The torchlight defined the soft curves of Sera's face as she leaned forward with a smile on her lips as she talked. Bull's eye looked indifferent as he listened to the young elf talk excitedly. They were the only two sitting at the shabby looking wooden table, the chairs creaked once and awhile as they moved in the stools.

" – Must be nice to get rid of those Ben-Harseholes." I heard Sera finish, not hearing the first part of her sentence. I stopped, blinking at the two. She was leaning forward on the table, arms crossed. Bull didn't look amused,

"You mean getting exiled from my people and declared Tal-Vashoth?" He sighed, eye drifting to the ceiling as if thinking about something. "Yeah. I should make a cake."

"You like drinking and singing and breaking beds. You'd already left." The blonde elf made a point, a small smirk on her face. This was her way of trying to cheer him up, I knew. She kind of used the same method on me when I was feeling down, with her humorous attitude and smartass little remarks. We were similar in that aspect.

"The Qun keeps our savage natures in check." The Qunari spoke carefully, "Without it … if I lose control …" He didn't seem like he wanted to continue. Did he seriously think that the Qun was the only thing holding him back from being a complete savage? What kind of mental conditioning did they put him through to make him believe that so … absolutely? I frowned.

"Pfffft! Heard that before." Sera waved her hand, "Don't worry. You get growly, I'll just kick your arse."

Bull let out a grunt, closing his eye and crossing his arms. "Thank you."

I tilted my head, seeing my blonde elf friend turn her gaze to me.

"You just gonna stand there or what? Creepy is really rubbing off on you." She sounded unsure whether or not to be amused by that statement or creeped out. I blinked owlishly, but I usually watched people all the time? They just … notice me now.

Maybe she's right, he  _is_  rubbing off on me.

"Sorry." I said rather blandly, walking forward and sitting down next to them. It had been just the two of them, "I hope I wasn't interrupting your heartfelt reunion."

"Nah … we're good." Bull stated, his one eye staring down at me. I was observing his horns, imagining all the little doodles I could put on them as revenge. Yes. I have not forgotten about my petty little revenge prank I had planned for him. I'd do more … but I already kinda drugged him and made him shit himself in his sleep. This'll make us even.

"Are we?" I asked, staring at him with a flat look in my eye as I intertwined my fingers and leaned forward.

"Look, kid. About the Ben-Hassrath ..."

"I still think you're a shit, but I can understand." I spoke as I reached toward the middle of the table and grabbed a bread roll. I chomped down on it, hearing it crunch beneath my teeth.

"See, you say you understand. But your face is telling me you're going to rip me to shreds when I'm not looking." Bull sounded skeptical as he squinted down at me from across the table. I almost laughed at the image of me trying to 'rip him to shreds'. I wouldn't get far.

"If it makes you feel better, remember that one time you passed out and shit yourself in your sleep...?" I said offhandedly, setting my bread on the table. I tried to sound as smug as possible, "That was me."

The Qunari choked on his ale, since he'd been in the middle of taking a drink. I forced a smile up at him. Sera burst out into hysterical laughter,

"A-Are you serious?!" She sounded incredulous as she held her stomach and kicked her feet onto the floorboards.

"It was intended for you, actually. He chugged the thing before I could take it back." I scoffed, crossing my arms.

"I was wonderin why you turned pale as a ghost..." The blonde elf wiped a tear away from her eye, her signature smirk still on her face. I looked over at Bull, who was looking at me with thinly veiled irritation. To put it simply, he looked like he wanted to wring my neck.

"Does this mean we're even, then?" His voice sounded oddly passive, as if he were hiding something. Likely his rage, I'd assume. Unless he secretly found it amusing. In that case I don't know which it would be, since he was better at hiding how he felt than I was. That's a feat.

"In a sense..." I muttered, grabbing my bread roll from the table and holding it up to my lips to cover up my smirk. I heard the door open to the tavern, making me snap my attention toward that instead.

"Bull! Gatt is here." It was Lynn, she stood there with a serious look on her face. I scowled at the name. I hardly knew the elf, but he was part of the _'Ben-Harseholes'_  as Sera so eloquently put it and I really didn't like them.

I watched him walk out and looked to Sera, who didn't look at all bothered by the fact Gatt was here. Did I mention I didn't like him? I might have. I didn't go out there, because I knew I would just end up punching the slimy little bastard. Or maybe shooting him, since his people tried to kill me and steal my gun. So I opted with going back to the stables to finish some work for the night.

* * *

I'd buried myself in my work as often as I could, finding little time to even talk to any of my friends. Currently I was standing out in the stables, writing down some things that we needed for the horses. Feed, hay and all the like were starting to get a little low. This was one of the many things that Master Dennet allowed me to do, now. I heard a few people talking to my right about getting rid of the cats in the barn loft.

My gaze snapped over and saw two workers speaking about it, alongside Master Dennet. Not even hesitating, I walked over and stood in front of them with my clipboard in hand.

"That won't be necessary." I spoke evenly, "The cats keep the mice out of the horse feed, they're quite useful."

Master Dennet grunted in agreement but gave me a knowing look, his eyes glinting. I nodded to him, as if confirming. Yes, I cared about the furballs. I didn't want them gone. If there were too many cats, I'd be inclined to agree with making some of them leave. But a few cats could actually benefit the barn in that aspect. My statement was not completely unfounded.

That night was spent up in the loft after I had eaten some stray apples I'd found for dinner. I didn't really feel up to talking to anyone right now and if I went to my room, which was in the tavern, I'd likely run into my sister.

I honestly didn't want her to see me like this. I wanted to seem like the strong big sister I've always been for her. We'd all went through so much together and I was always the one that was the rock. I was there when they needed me the most and I always did my best to protect my siblings. But right now, I felt less than adequate. Which was why I needed some time to gather my thoughts.

What happened at the Storm Coast is a perfect example of how unprepared I am for this world. What is going to happen when I finally run out of ammo? I won't have a gun to fall back on and I'd likely end up dying. I had my bow and I was getting pretty proficient at it, but that didn't seem like enough. Even Sera kept a dagger strapped to her hip just in case someone got close. All I had was my gun and a knife.

Perhaps I could get myself some gauntlets made so that I could just punch my enemies if they got close, since I seemed to be good at  _that_. I snorted and lay down in a pile of hay up in the loft. Of course I was joking, because who in their right mind would punch the enemy when they had a weapon at the ready?

I was awake just long enough to see the cats come and lay on me for my warmth before I finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Thankfully, no nightmares plagued me that night.

* * *

A few days later, I found myself sitting alone at the table for lunch as I munched on a simple meal of bread and cheese. My mind kept drifting back on my behavior with the Ben-Hassraths. How I'd pretty much just executed that man. To be honest, I was surprised I didn't get a little talk from Lynn. They killed people in a more brutal manner here in this world, though, so I might have gotten off the hook. Little did they know, back home I'd be considered crazy. I would have been put away for a long time for brutally killing that man the way I did. I'd intentionally made him suffer … and it scared me how little I cared. I was enjoying the silence in my little corner of solitude when –

I groaned as I saw Angel plop down in front of me across from the wooden table. I could faintly hear the bard singing softly, a song that I didn't recognize. Staring at the wall behind Angel, I didn't like how smug she looked right now. I really didn't. Instead of letting her have the first word, I began the conversation.

"So, how was your week in Skyhold without me. Fun?" Angel blinked a few times and looked as if she were remembering something. I saw a frown form on her face as she set her half eaten apple down in front of her.

"Not much, other than the fact that your boyfriend is  _infuriating_." My sister laced her fingers together and rested her chin on the top of them, looking almost evil.

"Not my boyfriend." I deadpanned, shoving a piece of food in my mouth. She continued like she hadn't heard me,

"It's okay, though. He got a nice lecture from Adan. He got … _the talk._ "

I felt my face drop, if at all possible. He what?!

"How, dare I ask, did  _this_  come about?" I saw my sister's face darken as she scrunched up her face. Before she could continue, however, I heard two familiar voices coming closer to our table. Their footsteps approached at a leisurely pace as I pushed my empty plate into the middle of the table.

"Let me try again." Cole was walking beside Varric who looked to be coming up to us. Both Angel and I peered over. "Knock knock." Varric sighed, sounding a little worn out.

"Okay, I'll bite. Who's there?" He stopped at the end of the table, looking up at the awkward rogue.

"The Inquisition."

"The Inquisition who?"

"That's who we are, Varric." Cole's voice sounded like he was pointing out the most obvious thing in the world. Well, he wasn't the only one that didn't really know how to tell jokes. I was always kind of bad at them, too. I could make puns, but those were pretty bad.

"Yeah, that's not working either." The dwarf looked over at me with a pleading look on his face, "He's been trying to figure out jokes all day since we got back, can you please …"

"I'm not his keeper, Varric." I drawled, watching as his face faltered. Did he really hate bad jokes that much? I could feel my eyes take on an evil glint as I watched them converse for a second. Well, I wanted in on this as well.

"Cole, you really have no idea how to tell a simple knock knock joke?" Angel sounded appalled, "You poor poor thing."

"I'm trying."

"What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?" I asked in a dull tone as I looked down and examined my nails. I could see the dwarf look toward me curiously in my peripheral.

"What?" Varric was the one that answered. I peered up at him with a plain look in my eyes.

"Dam..." I muttered and I heard Angel smack her hand on her own face as she shook her head. The dwarf looked like he wanted to hit his head against something as he let out a quiet  _'Eeegghhhh'_.

"That joke was so bad it gave me cancer." Angel threw in from her side of the table. I shrugged in response. I saw her pause from her place in her seat as she looked up at Cole, then back at me. I watched as her face lit up and she gave me a toothy smile. "I knew it!"

"Ahh...what?" Was all I could say as I saw her pointing at him, then back at me. I was a little late in realizing that she was currently pointing at our matching necklaces. I felt my face starting to heat up. "I-Is there a problem with them?"

"No. I like them. It makes me happy." I heard Cole say from beside me, a smile on his face as he fiddled with the one around his neck. I flushed and turned away.

"A-Ah...well. I'm glad you... uh...like them." I stuttered, averting my gaze from our little group at the table. God damn it! It pissed me off to no end how I couldn't control my emotions the way I usually could when it came to  _this_. Normally I'd just cover it up somehow by sounding irritated or angry, but I was stuck sitting here fiddling around with my wooden pendant as I avoided eye contact with anyone. I felt like a bumbling fool.

"Well whaddya know..." I looked at Varric who was staring at me with a smug look on his face. "I was wondering what you were doing at the campfire all those nights."

"She spent her  _time_  on them?" Angel asked excitedly, her body practically vibrating with excitement from the stool she was sitting in. Varric nodded from where he lingered at the end of the table, and I stood up abruptly.

"I have something I need to do."

* * *

Some say I was running away from my problems.  _I say_  it's a tactical retreat. Yes. That way it sounds like I'm less of a coward. If that conversation continued, I would have had to put up with Angel and Varric's questions. I was not in the mood for them, at the moment. Since I was feeling a little under the weather, if you know what I mean. The incident back at the Storm Coast still plagued me in the back of my mind.

I'd decided to head up to my room to spend the rest of my lunch break alone. I hit the last flight of stairs, walking up at a slow lazy pace. My door was cracked open, which made me pause for a second. Pulling my knife out of my pocket, I flipped it open and proceeded with caution.

 _I was still on edge._ Even now. I pushed the door open slowly, hearing the hinges creak. My room was empty and I slowly walked in, looking for any rogues. They always had this weird little shimmer wherever they were when they went invisible. It still baffled me, how they were even able to do that. Nothing. Sighing, I walked up to my bed but saw something sitting on my end table near the headboard.

It was a flower. It was small, pink, with it's stem still attached. It kind of reminded me of a Cherry Blossom, actually. I'd never tell anyone, but I always thought they were beautiful. I never was a flower person, but …

I poked the petal with my finger, feeling how soft and delicate it was. The sun shone in through my window, highlighting my little stand and warming the parts of my body that were in the warm rays. Now who would leave me this little gift, I wonder? I smiled, but was interrupted from my thoughts when I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder.

Still feeling jumpy, I didn't even think. My body reacted, scared, and I lashed out with my knife that was still resting in my hand. I turned my body and made to slash at whoever was behind me but my arm was caught in a tight grip before I could even make contact. My hair fell in front of my face and my brown eyes widened in horror, seeing Cole standing right there. I'd almost hurt him.

Dropping my knife, it clattered onto the wood floor. I started to tremble, instantly feeling like total crap. Guilt. Fear.

He didn't look at all surprised that I'd turned around and tried to hurt him. He just stared at me passively from underneath his hat. I could have –

"C-Cole... I'm –  _oh God_." My voice shook as I tried to wriggle out of his grasp, feeling some tears well up in my eyes.

"You're scared. Scared that the blackness will take over, turn you into something you're not. But you won't let it. You're  _strong_." He stepped a little closer and even through the fear and pain, I could still feel the buzz of energy that seemed to fizzle around me everytime he got so close to me.

"I-I almost..." My brown gaze flickered to the floor, shame filling me. He says I won't turn me into something I'm not, but I almost stabbed him! He saw it coming, but what if it had been Sera? Or Lynn? The thought sent my stomach plummeting. They wouldn't have known that I would whip around with my knife in hand, no.

I was afraid. Afraid that someday I'd end up somehow enjoying the killing that this world has brought to me. I already killed bandits and Venatori without so much as a second thought. I almost didn't … care. I thought back on the time when it actually felt good to see the roles switched after those Venatori had tortured me. I, dare I say, almost took  _delight_  in killing them for what they did to me. What if I started to feel like that all the time? What if I let it change me for the worse?

"You won't let it." Cole's hand eased the grip off of my arm and slowly started to ghost over my bare arm, causing the hairs to raise. I felt my breathing hitch, "I won't let it."

It was like a damn emotional roller coaster, because my heart rate picked up and my body was trembling for a completely  _different_  reason now. I kept my gaze fixated on the floorboards beneath our feet. His hand rested on my shoulder and I could feel the beginnings of longing creep up on me. I wanted him closer. I needed –

I let out a hiss. Before it could become a problem, I was going to stamp it down and attempt to get rid of it. Cole wouldn't allow it, it seems, because my body stumbled forward without my consent and I was sent face first into his chest. Both of his hands were clasped on my shoulders, keeping me in place.

"You can't keep doing that. You're hurting yourself." I'm hurting myself? Does he realize I'll only hurt myself more if I let this happen? If I allow myself to just –

No.

I let out a whimper as I quivered, feeling the fear starting to flood me.

"Don't. Please..." I choked out, my mind being filled with the thoughts of losing him. My closest friend. I've seen it happen before. Many times. I didn't want it to happen to me, too.

"You watched them, she had feelings for him. She loved him. He didn't. They floated apart, broken. Friendship gone. Strangers." Cole whispered, his voice so close to my ear. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling dread slither its way into my heart.  _No_. "That won't happen. It won't. I- I."

I allowed my arms to come up from my sides and slowly inch around his waist, pulling him closer. I didn't want him to leave. I could feel the walls slowly crumble, allowing the pent up energy to flow throughout my body. Faintly, I could hear his heartbeat as it seemed to pick up it's pace. Could he? Was I not the only one feeling this?

Cole's arms encircled me, squeezing me closer and I could feel him bury his face into my hair. I nuzzled my face into his patchy shirt in response.

 _Hope_. That was what I was feeling right now. It's a stupid concept, I know. I've learned not to hope for things, because they just seemed to get ripped away from me all the time. It was almost inevitable. But right now, when I felt his arms as they moved around my body in response. Pulling me closer. He was  _returning my hug_. I'd have thought Cole, of all people, would be awkward with such intimate contact. But he … seemed open to it.

Maybe, just maybe, he was capable of returning my affections? I'd said it was impossible before, but that was then. This is now. The Cole I knew now didn't really seem to show hesitation when it came to contact with me. It was the same for me, as well. I wouldn't allow this to happen with someone else. I felt delight vibrating in my chest at the prospect. I heard his breathing hitch.

"You're singing. I can hear it, soft, silent, serene." I heard him whisper from above, "F-For..." His arms tightened around me.

We were interrupted when someone coughed from behind Cole. I blinked, my face still buried in the front of his shirt. He shifted and I could feel his face move out of my hair. I peeked up to see him looking back toward my door, his big hat tilted as he tried to get a good view of who it was.

Slowly letting go, I was about to step away when I heard Solas' voice.

"My intent was to speak with Cole, but I can see I need to have a talk with you as well. Lyn." He sounded serious, "Alone."

God damn it.

Cole reluctantly let me go and we separated, both facing the bald elf as he looked at me with disapproval clear in his eyes. I frowned, feeling my face heat up. We were standing alone in my room, with the door open. Stupid. Of course someone would walk by and see. Of all people, though.  _Solas_.

"Cole, may I?" The bald elf asked, moving to the side of my door to allow him exit. Cole looked down at me, concern clearly in his blue eyes. Well, what I could see of them anyway. Since they always seemed to be hidden beneath his shaggy hair. I nodded to him, letting him know I'd be fine. He didn't seem like he wanted to go, but he did. I watched as he ambled his way out the door, Solas closing it behind him. I felt nervous, never having been alone with Solas before. We were usually around other people. I knew we weren't really on good terms, since I'd never apologized for being a complete shit to him. But that's beside the point.

The elf stood there, posture straight as his hands were clasped behind his back. Suddenly I felt trapped, standing in this small room alone with him. My body vibrated with anxiety, shoulders tensed.

"Do you realize what you are doing?" He asked of me, his voice even. I frowned,

"Care to elaborate, Solas? Quit dancing around the subject." I never did like it when people hinted around and expected me to know what it was they were talking about. What they wanted. My mom always did that to me and it pissed me off to no end.

"If you continue to tread down the path you've chosen, you risk the possibility of losing him." I tried to hide the pain that wormed it's way into my chest from appearing on my face, "Cole has become more human, I admit. However, there is still the risk of him becoming corrupted."

There he goes, again. My hands clenched into fists and I glared at him and opened my mouth to reply, but he continued.

"Hear me out." His hand was held up, "Even Cole refers to his former self as a demon. Strong emotions such as; rage, hate, desire … love – " He gave me a pointed look. I felt my eyes narrow, it wasn't  _that_. Not... not yet anyway. "Would drive anyone over the edge. For a spirit such as Cole, it could change him. I theorize he may be more susceptible to such things since his change into the world of humanity. Corruption is not such a far fetched idea. I fear what it may do to him."

"He's felt rage and hate before, Solas." My voice wavered, fear settling into my gut. I didn't want to hear this. But could it be possible? Could I only end up … hurting him? No. If he was going to get corrupted somehow, he would have long ago. Right? "This world can change anyone, for better or for worse. He wouldn't allow himself to hurt anyone! Not anymore. Not unless they deserved it."

"But he has, hasn't he?" Solas was pacing now, a flat look entering his eye. Did he not believe that people could change? Or was this exclusive to just Cole? I found that a bit unfair, since I knew people could change if they really wanted it. If they saw the wrong in their actions, I wholeheartedly believed they could make a difference in who they are. Transform into the person they wanted to be. I did, afterall, have personal experience with that.

"Haven't we all?" I bit out, grinding my teeth as I felt anger bubbling up in my chest. "Does this have something to do with what happened to your spirit friend, weeks ago?" It had already slipped out of my mouth, sounding a bit insensitive. I hadn't meant for it to. Only to be a simple question, a statement. But even  _I_  thought I sounded kind of like an ass.

"Partially. I've already lost one friend due to ignorance, I will not lose another." The bald elf paused, unclasping his hands from behind his back as he let them drop to his sides. "Wisdom had been brought into this world by those mages, who cared not for the consequences of their actions. In the end, she could not be saved."

"Ignorance." I huffed, "Those people didn't  _care_  about Wisdom. I care about Cole, I would never hurt him intentionally. You know that just as well as I do. What if -"

"If you want to get into 'what if's' then is it not in his nature, as Compassion, to seek out those that are hurting and help them?" He cut me off before I could keep going, I wasn't agreeing with him and was being too stubborn. "Then is it not possible that what was happening just moments ago, was simply him reacting to your emotions?"

I choked back a gasp, squeezing my eyes shut as I turned my head away. It felt like a physical blow, what he just said. Like I'd been slapped. I couldn't even offer a rebuttal, because everything he was saying was a probability. Solas could be telling the truth. The corruption, him simply  _reacting_  to my emotions... That was a low blow, even for him. But I had sounded like an insensitive prick just seconds before. I kind of deserved that one.

My shoulders slumped. It was stupid of me to hope for such things. As much as I hated to admit it, the points Solas just brought up were all valid. Terrifyingly possible, as well. I slowly opened my eyes again, looking up at him and couldn't hide the pain from entering my eyes. The bald mage looked like he was about to continue to talk with me, but I wasn't in the mood to hear anymore. I got it. I understood.

"Get out."

**Third Person**

Cole rubbed the part of his chest where Lyn had just nuzzled against just moments ago, as he stood outside of her door. He remembered the electricity that seemed to buzz around his body as she did it, her arms around him. So warm. He liked it. Quite a bit, actually. The feeling had confused him, yet fascinated him at the same time. He found that he wouldn't mind if it happened again.

He heard the door open beside him, Lyn looked upset. Her face was set in a frown and her eyes … they looked subdued. Like she'd given up.

"Get out!" She yelled, her voice filled with pain. He watched as she grabbed Solas by the scruff of his shirt and tossed him out of her room, slamming the door behind him. His elf friend stumbled, catching himself on the railing.

"What did you do?" Cole asked instantly, hearing Lyn's muted sadness from behind the door. She was trying to hide it from him, he realized. His mage friend, for the most part, sounded blank. Small flickers of disappointment and anger would slip through. Solas didn't answer as he stood up straight and began to descend the stairs.

"We'll talk later, Cole."

He let him go, opting for going up to Lyn's door instead. He pushed it open, seeing her straightening a new shirt that she'd just put on. She turned her flat gaze over to him, her expression gave nothing away. Cole opened his mouth to say something, but she beat him to it.

"I need to get to work. I'll see you later, yeah?" Any trace amounts of pain he'd heard in her voice before were now gone as she slipped by him and ran down the stairs without another word. It scared him. Because he couldn't hear her anymore. The melody she'd had just moments ago, before Solas interrupted, was gone.

**First Person**

There wasn't much more to do down in the stables that afternoon, so I was able to leave early. Idle gossip floated through my ears on my way up to the tavern. Apparently Bull was attacked on the walls of Skyhold. I didn't listen to anymore than that, since I wasn't feeling up to it. I just wanted to sleep.

I'd decided to take a nap as I shut my door with a soft _'click'._  With slow movements, I delicately picked up the flower on my nightstand and looked at it. Smiling sadly, I retrieved my sketchbook from my dresser and pressed the flower into one of the back pages to preserve it. At least here, it would be safe. I laid down after that, falling asleep almost instantly.

I was awoken that evening to the sounds of murmuring in my bedroom. Which was unsettling, no one ever entered without permission. Aside from Cole, that is. But he was usually quiet and this sounded like multiple people.

My eyes flew open as I sat up in my bed, but was grabbed by my mouth and slammed back onto the mattress.

"Shhhh. Can't have you screamin." I heard an accented voice say. My vision cleared and a candle was lit in my dimmed room, revealing two figures. The sun was almost down in the sky and barely any light shone through the window. The one that was holding me was elven and the other looked to be a larger human male. Who were these people?

"Where is your … gun?" The one behind the elf asked, looking down at me with a cold stare. His eyes seemed empty, almost dulled. His black eyes seemed to stare right through me as I started to quiver, fear starting to take over. Fuckin hell, I can't get a break now can I? I'm assuming these were people working for the Qunari, since I'd basically spat in their face and refused their offer for information on my weapon.

The one in the back pulled out a dagger, staring down at me as he walked closer.

"Where is it?" He demanded, his voice never raising enough to gain attention. "When he removes his hand, you will not scream. Am I clear?" He threatens, holding his dagger up to my cheek. He sliced a thin line, drawing blood. I winced.

The man slowly removed his hand from my mouth.

My eyes kept flicking in the direction of my bag, near the door. My bullets were in there, but my gun was currently sitting in under my pillow. They were going to kill me, I knew it. Anything to survive. Anything to survive. I looked up at the elven man above me as he looked in the direction of his buddy, who had turned around to dig in my bag. I wanted to live. If I didn't do something –

I leaned up and pressed my lips onto the gap between his shoulder and neck, he let out a choked gasp.

"W-wh-" He didn't finish his sentence as I opened my mouth and bit down. I bit as hard as I could, feeling the flesh tear beneath my teeth. I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes at the disgust I felt as I did this. He let out the loudest scream I'd ever heard from a man. But that might just be because he's _right above me_ , blood dripping on my neck.

Evidently I didn't bite hard enough or rip enough out of him because he got up and stumbled away. At least I wasn't pinned down now, right? It wasn't nearly as bloody as the first time I'd tore into someone's neck, so apparently I'd done it wrong this time. Of course, I didn't bite close enough to the neck where the jugular was. I realized this too late, as he was now off of me and standing over by my dresser. The elf was trying to stop the bleeding, putting pressure on the wound.

I knew to always go for the neck. That's what animals did. That's what I did, or at least tried to. My attempts to reason with myself were thrown aside as I scrambled for the gun underneath my pillow, turning off the safety and aiming it at the man by the door.

Without even giving him a chance to lunge at me, I fired three rounds into his chest. After he hit the floor with a loud, ' _ **THUD**_ '. I could hear the people downstairs screaming from the sound of the gun going off.

The elven man jumped on me as I was about to stand up out of my bed and he began to wrestle me for my gun. All those times wrestling around with Krem seemed to have paid off, because I could tell he was weakening. His grip started to get looser. I was eventually able to wriggle my way around and pull my handgun up and aim it underneath his chin. Cold metal pushed up against his skin, I saw fear enter his eyes just before I fired. My ears were ringing from the shot being too close to me. I gasped, seeing a splatter on my ceiling. He was now laying on me, bullet through the bottom of his chin and exiting out the top of his head.

It was a grisly scene. Not one that I'd like to describe in detail, mind you. It was horrifying, that's all I'll say.

Trying to push the elf off of me, who was now sprawled across my legs, I spit something out of my mouth and started to gag. I threw up on the floor at the foot of my bed, crawling into a crouched position and stumbling toward the door to get help. Only to have the door slammed open to reveal … nothing. I blinked, confused. Only to be thrown against the wall to my right, next to my dresser, as a huge ass rogue with horns appeared out of thin air. Or, he'd probably been there but had been invisible.

_Fucking rogues!_

"Shit!" I squeaked, feeling my hold on the gun slip as it fell at my feet with a clatter. The Qunari rogue was holding his burly arm against my throat, making it hard to breathe. I scratched at his arms, but to no avail. Hard to think. I gasped, or tried to. My vision started to get spotty as I could feel my consciousness starting to fade.

My door squeaked, revealing a terrified looking Angel. Her black hair was still tied back, informing me that she had just gotten off of work. She was still in her little work dress. It felt like my stomach dropped to my feet.  _She shouldn't be here!_  She must have just been getting off of work and heard the commotion and gunshots. I'm actually surprised no one else has arrived yet. The rogue holding me growled, letting his weight off of me as he slashed at my sister with the dagger in his free hand. I tried to let out a yell or something to tell her to run, but I was too late.

I saw the knife cut across her chest, sending her stumbling backwards. Angel's brown eyes widened, her hands flying up to the wound she had just acquired. A red flower, her life force, started to bloom on her chest through her dress. She shrieked as the Qunari pushed her with all of his strength and I saw her body go over the railing and to the first floor below.

Finally able to breathe, I screamed, hearing her body hit the ground below with a loud ' _ **THUD**_ '.

"Angel!" I went to stand up, but was stopped when the horned rogue grabbed my face and slammed the back of my head against the wall, making my vision black out.

I slowly came back and I realized my arms were tied together in front of me, my body thrown over one huge shoulder as I bounced around. The man holding me stopped, standing on Skyhold's wall just outside the tavern. What were we doing here? He hopped forward, using his other hand to grab ahold of something. I felt my stomach drop and I saw a rope and some stone come into view as the man that was carrying me slid down Skyhold's walls to get to the bottom. I shrieked, looking up and seeing the wall get smaller and smaller. Was this how they got in?!

I was staring up, but I also saw a dark figure at the top jump down and grab hold of the rope with one hand. The figure held onto it, sliding down faster than we were currently going. I looked down, seeing that we were almost touching the ground and found enough strength to struggle.

"Lyn!" I heard a famliar voice come from above, making my vision snap up again. The dark figure I'd seen was Cole, as his body got closer and closer. He was coming down fast. Faster than he should. What if he hurts himself!?

I gasped, trying to pull myself off of the rogue that was carrying me only to see Cole's feet land on the Qunari's back. The momentum that he'd gained as he came down sent the rogue tumbling, I went with him. Though I was now somewhere at his side and out of the way, my body aching as I sat up. It was cold down here, as I sat in the snow and shivered.

My friend lunged at the enemy and began to fight him with all he had. I peered up at the top of the rope to see if anyone else was going to come down and help, only to see shadows moving around as if they were in a fight. Were there more up there? I saw the rope go slack and fall to the ground.

"Shit."

At least they knew we were down here, right?

I was stuck watching two rogues go at it. The sheer size difference was baffling, Cole being much smaller than his opponent. Both with double daggers. One my friend one my foe. Their daggers glinted in the moonlight and I could hear grunts and sounds of metal clashing on metal in some sort of deadly dance. I saw Cole get pushed back and he slid a ways, his feet digging into the snow. He grabbed something out of his pocket and threw it at the burly man and missed. It was a small throwing knife and it had landed in front of me at my knees.

Grabbing it, I sawed the ropes off of my wrists. I got done just in time to hear heavy footsteps in the snow behind me.

"Run!" Cole yelled and I didn't think twice. I stumbled to my feet and ran over where the rope lay, coiled on the ground near the cliffside. Looking back, I saw Cole finish off the horned rogue and he darted toward two more figures which had entered the fray.

More fighting commenced as I trotted toward the dead Qunari rogue and grabbed one of his daggers. He wouldn't need it now, afterall. I had no time to dig around for where my gun was, I had to keep going.

Ignoring the blood staining the snow, I looked up and saw my friend trying to fend off both of them. They looked like they were warriors, which wasn't good. As I got closer, I realized that both were human but they were still pretty bulky. Both were wearing full plate armor and had likely been waiting at the bottom for their little friend here to abduct me.

I didn't know what to do. What was I supposed to do, just leave him here? Try to go get help?

I noticed Cole started to get slower in his movements and saw one of the men behind him starting to get up from the daze he'd been in. I'd taken too long in my thoughts and one of the warriors was about to flank Cole.

"Hey!" I yelled, dashing toward him recklessly. I didn't even have any armor on, not that I ever wore any, and knew how idiotic this was. But I couldn't just allow my friend to get hurt. Not while I had a chance to stop it. "Assbutt! Fucker! Over here!"

It worked, because he turned around and pointed his sword at me. His eyes showed his annoyance as he waited for me to get closer and closer. I think it was meant to intimidate me, and  _it did_. But I kept my mind on the task at hand and didn't stop. I think he believed I would stop, because I barreled closer and closer with the dagger in my right hand lingering at my hip.

I swung my arm, aiming to slash at him. The warrior sidestepped it and swung his swordless arm at me, sending me into the snow. I landed on my back, body jolting as I let out a gasp in pain. He laughed at me and turned just in time to dodge Cole's attack. I saw that my friend had finished off the other man, as he lay still in the snow just feet away.

I heard a grunt in pain, making my gaze snap up at the fight in front of me. Cole had dropped one of his daggers and was holding his shoulder with his free hand. I saw blood coming from beneath, seeping through slowly. I'd never seen him get hurt before, being as fast and agile as he was. The last time I saw him fight, he almost had this unnatural way he moved. Fast and efficient. He never slowed down. Never faltered. This time, it was different. This was, I realized, part of the downfalls that he was going through when he started to become more human. I was going to end up getting him  _killed_!

Fear drove me as I staggered to my feet, seeing a blade being raised to stab my friend. They weren't far away, so I was able to lunge forward with all my might and shove Cole to the side with my shoulder. He stumbled away, shocked.

I felt the searing pain as the longsword plunged into my right side, just above my hip. That's not what I was focused on, though, as I looked up at the dagger that had just been in my hand. It was now buried into the bottom of the warrior's jaw near his neck. Apparently I can stab pretty well, because that fucker was in there pretty deep. Either that or it was really sharp. Huh.

As the man fell to the ground, his sword was pulled out with the weight of his body. I looked down, watching in slow motion as the piece of metal was lazily dislodged from my side. Then came the blood. I could already feel myself getting faint as it started to seep out of the large gash that was now in my side. Hands shaking, I pulled them up to try and cover it and stop the bleeding. It wasn't working. It was thick, as it covered my quivering fingers.

"I told you to run! Why didn't you listen?!" Cole's voice rung in my ears, but I couldn't look up. I'd never been hurt like this before. It was almost fascinating, seeing that much blood come out of my body. Was I going to die? " _No_...no no no!"

Before I could even collapse, he hefted me up into his arms and started to run up a slope. I'm guessing we were headed toward the gates of Skyhold, now. I couldn't be sure. I felt so lightheaded and dizzy it was like I couldn't keep track of time. But eventually I'd been placed on the ground and a few figures surrounded me. The moonlight offered just enough light to show me their faces. Dorian and Bull were nearby. Bull was frowning, his face scrunched up into sorrow, as I stared up at him wearily from my position in the snow.

I could feel a warmth spread over my body as Dorian seemed to cast something on me.

"This is beyond my capabilities." He sounded miserable. Was I really about to die? Well, shit. At least I tried, right? I knew that I'd eventually get killed here, in this world. I'd accepted that. But … I still  _didn't_  want to die. I didn't! I still had to make sure my sister was alive. She'd fallen off of that ledge, large gash across her chest. Even as I lay here, possibly on my death bed, I worried about my little sister.

"You can't do anything?" Bull asked, their voices sounding like they were getting farther and farther away.

"It's too deep. None of the organs  _seem_  to be bothered, not that I can tell anyway. But she's losing blood too fast. I'm afraid ..."

"C-Ca..." I breathed, feeling my lungs starting to hurt. I realized I'd been hyperventilating this whole time. "Cauter..."

They seemed confused for a minute, but Cole took out his dagger and held it to Dorian. His face frantic, pleading.

"Heat up my dagger! Please!"

"What –"

"Dorian." Bull put in, "It might work."

My head was laying limply on the snow as I stared up at the stars. They were really pretty, might I add. Twinkling little things in the distance, calling out to me. My breathing started to get ragged and I didn't notice Dorian cast a spell or Cole kneel down next to me and pull my shirt up. Almost like I was slowly being detached from my body. Only to be jolted back.

I felt hot metal sear itself into my skin by my hip, making me scream and wail. He'd started to cauterize the wound. The pain hurt so much, that I wasn't even conscious for much longer before the darkness claimed me.


	18. Restore

Bull had been with Dorian at the time when he heard the gunshot from the tavern. They sounded muffled as they rang through the confines of the Herald's Rest, followed by screaming and the sounds of people as they scrambled out the door in a blind panic. Even though it came from inside the tavern, it still echoed across Skyhold. Soldiers and guards all over got battle ready, some running into Skyhold's main hall to inform the Inquisitor.

The only time Lyn had ever used a gun was when her life was in danger, he knew that much. The warrior couldn't find a way in, from all of the commotion, so he instead opted to head up the stairs onto the wall and try to enter from there. Sword drawn, he came upon some armed men as they tried to stop Cole from hopping over the wall to slide down a rope.

Bull saw the scraggly rogue hop over without a second thought, face set in fierce determination as his hand clasped onto the rope for leverage. The last thing Bull saw was his huge hat before he was attacked by one of the enemies. They'd infiltrated Skyhold. Were these the Ben-Hassrath? Bull thought that they were only after him, to send a message of his being Tal-Vashoth. Apparently he was wrong, because they had Lyn. This didn't bode well.

Metal clashed on metal and he swung his huge two-handed sword on his enemy, as he roared a battlecry. The man he'd hit stumbled back from the sheer force of his blow. The massive Qunari caught their attention just long enough to distract them from Dorian. The stone wall was illuminated by a blue-ish light as it flickered ominously. The Tevinter mage charged up a spell, electricity wrapping around his arms and up his staff as he focused his attack. Sweat beaded his brow as lightning erupted from his staff and crackled through the air, making Bull's hairs stand on end.

It hissed through the air and the warrior could feel the heat as he saw the light zig-zag from enemy to enemy, jumping between them and frying them inside of their armor. The poor assholes couldn't even scream as they were paralyzed, falling to the ground in a twitching heap. He must have had some pretty good control on his magic if he hadn't hit Bull in the process.

"Damn..." Was all Bull could say as he looked down at the burnt bodies strewn across Skyhold's walls. There were three of them. Dorian made his way over to the edge of the wall to see if they could rappel down using their line, but realized the rope had been severed.

"Vishante kaffas! They cut the rope!" The mage cursed, looking toward Skyhold's gates.

"We need to get down there. Now." Bull turned without question and began barreling toward his destination, heavy footfalls echoing off the stone. Lighter footsteps could be heard pitter pattering behind him, following him.

They'd arrived too late. Much too late. A devastated looking Cole had been carrying his friend, who looked to be barely hanging onto life. Lyn's usually fierce eyes were unfocused and dulled as she lay limply in the rogue's arms, her skin already paler than usual. Cole set her down in the snow and Bull saw exactly where she'd been cut. More like stabbed, really. The gaping wound on her right side, just above her hip, was bleeding profusely and it was already starting to stain the snow around her.

Dorian explained that it was beyond his capabilities. Bull had never seen the blonde spirit boy get so worked up like he had now. His eyes wide and frantic, begging Dorian to help with something he couldn't.

* * *

Which lead him to the present. Bull was standing at the end of the small bed as Adan was tending to Lyn, giving her potions to help her body create more blood. More blood, because she'd already lost too much. There was a mage healer that was Adan's associate, they worked together along with a surgeon that was currently digging around on the shelves and getting stuff ready.

Lyn's face was pale, her lips showing almost no color at all. To put it simply, she looked like she was dead. If it weren't for her short quick breaths, he would have thought so.

The Inquisitor had dedicated much of their resources to the infirmary, to ensure that the soldiers and residents remained in good health. This was fortunate for Lyn, as she lay on the bed while they prepped for a surgery. Apparently Dorian had been incorrect in his assumption, she had internal bleeding and if they didn't hurry and get it repaired … she would die.

Lyn's sister, Angel, was sitting nearby on her own cot. She was awake and sobbing as quietly as she could, looking at her sister's state. Other than the rather large gash she had on her chest and a broken arm, she suffered rather minimal damage from her fall from the top floor of the tavern. Which was a surprise. The young elf mage that worked for Adan had stopped the bleeding pretty quickly with her fast response time. Angel had her arm up in a sling as she sat in the bed, her legs covered by a blanket.

"If you're not going to help, then get out! Shoo! All of you!" Adan yelled, obviously wanting space to do his work. "Kerrah, get them out of here." The old man grumbled.

"Sir!" The elf mage stood up straight, walking over to the group and gently leading them out.

Everyone began to shuffle out. Dorian reluctantly let go of Angel, who had been clinging to him this whole time. How that had happened, he didn't know. The poor teen was still sobbing, not even able to talk. She tried to ask something, but no one seemed to understand what it was she was trying to ask.

Bull's eye was downcast as he stood quietly outside of the infirmary. There had been many things he'd done in his life that had been questionable. Sending that report in to the Qunari leaders had lead to the attack today, and regretting and wishing couldn't take that back. He knew that much.

"If she dies …  _I'll kill you_." Cole's voice was low, tinged with the rage he felt. The warrior looked up, seeing the blond boy staring up at him with malice in his eyes. He never thought it would be possible for such a gentle boy to feel such an emotion, much less make that expression. But he would feel the same way if someone he deeply cared about was dying because of someone else.

"What happened?!" Lynn jogged up to the group standing outside of the building, Varric not far behind. The door was shut, to allow privacy and less distractions. Angel's sobs had quieted down on the other side of the door. Dorian was standing nearby, a solemn look in his eyes. Cole was standing in front of Bull, his huge hat was now hiding his expression.

"It's his fault! Reports. Have to send reports. Watching. Spying. She has a weapon and they'd want to hear about it." Cole was shaking, his fists clenched at his sides. "If you hadn't sent those reports,  _she wouldn't be like this_! Body broken, bleeding,  _dying_."

Bull watched as Varric walked over to Cole and grabbed his arm.

"Come on, Kid. Let's get you washed up." The dwarf motioned to the blood that was staining Cole's shirt and arms. He didn't even look like he wanted to leave, his fists clenched at his sides and shaking. "We'll come back after, don't worry."

They walked off at a slow pace, Varric trying to get him to calm down as they went.

Lynn looked horrified as she got the story from Dorian and Bull, since they'd been close by when it happened. Sera had come out soon after, having been in Lynn's room with her at the time of the incident. While she was listening to the story, she had sent word to have the Spymaster and the Commander arrive. Both stood there, back straight as they listened to the orders from the Inquisitor.

"We need to enhance our security so that we can prevent future incidences such as this from occurring. We also need to increase the number of people on watch for the time being. We can't be sure if there are any more within the walls of Skyhold." Lynn ordered once Leliana and Cullen arrived. The Commander nodded,

"I'll get right on that."

The moonlight shone down on them, being the only source of illumination at this hour. Besides the stray torch that the guard next to Lynn was carrying. Everyone was tense from the recent attack and most had their armor on and ready, just in case.

"Leliana … I already suspect who did this, but we need to fish out any more that may be lurking around in the shadows." Lynn sounded like she was trying to hide her anger, but some slipped through, probably at the thought that Skyhold had been infiltrated so easily by the Ben-Hassrath. Twice now.

"That shouldn't be a problem. I'll even personally see to it that it is done by the end of the night, Inquisitor." The Spymaster's face was set in an angered frown as she turned around and walked off.

"If you find any, they are to be left  _alive_." Lynn was stern as she looked up at Leliana, who in turn gave a curt nod.

**First Person**

Everything was so dark. It felt like I was floating in an endless pool of nothingness. Everything was so so black and it seemed to stick to my being like tar. It clung to me and whispered for me to give in.  _Give up._ That all my troubles will slip away if I just simply stop fighting. I wanted to. But something in the back of my mind told me I couldn't. I  _can't_  just give up.

I was here, for what seemed like days, drifting around. At some point I could hear someone talking to me, telling me not to leave them. But who were they? The voice was familiar and I knew I should feel something when I heard it, but couldn't find the strength to bring up the memories.

Then, I could start to hear people yelling in the distance. It was like they were behind glass and I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying. Only a little. They were speaking frantically about someone's health. I didn't know who's but it sounded pretty serious. I could feel myself slowly slipping away. Where was I going? Who was I again?

I looked around, trying to make anything out in the distance. I couldn't see a damn thing. I tried, but failed, to lift my arms to look at them and I couldn't seem to move them. I was stuck, floating and waiting. Waiting. I don't know how long I've been here, but I felt like I was going mad.

Those voices were slowly drifting away. They sounded so distant and it was getting harder and harder to think. Floating. It felt like I was floating. Away. But where? I was fading away. Was I dying? Is that what this was?

The next thing I knew, I was ripped away from my dark prison and set forth in front of this massive light. Only it wasn't a light, it was a woman. My vision focused, details slowly coming into view. Her hair was white, curved into the shapes of horns. Her piercing yellow gaze sent tremors through my body and … she was upside down. Or was I the one that was upside down? Blinking in confusion, I felt my body as it seemed to 'find gravity' and fall. I hit the ground with a  _'THUMP!'_

I grunted, feeling a bit surprised I couldn't feel any pain. I slowly stood up, turning toward the older woman who was looking at me expectantly. Everything around us seemed to be tinged with green and we were standing in an empty grassy field.

I feel like I've seen her somewhere before...

"You're really more trouble than you're worth, sometimes." The old woman  _'tsked'_  as she walked up to me, her strides elegant.

"Who..." Was all I could get out as I stared at her as her facial features came into view. She looked familiar.

"Tis not your time yet, young one." She lifted her wrinkled hand and pushed two fingers onto my forehead, "I will not do this a second time. Remember that."

The only thing I was capable of doing, at that moment, was nodding dumbly. I could have sworn it felt like I was on fire and I could feel my body as I was ripped from the place I was just in. My chest buzzed with some type of electricity and I jumped, my eyes flying open.

Wait. Open? I gasped, my body spasming and shaking.

"She's back!" Someone sounded incredulous and I could hear footsteps somewhere, followed by murmurs amongst a small group of people. It sounded like my ears were full of cotton balls, making it hard to even decipher what they were saying.

My hearing would occasionally go out and slowly come back. My eyes began to focus and I could make out that it was daytime, the light shining in through the windows and making everything seem too bright. Shadows were standing above me and I felt someone push themselves against my chest, covering me up with a blanket in the process. I could hear her crying and saying ' _Thank God_ ', over and over again. What had happened?

The light was making my pupils constrict painfully as I stared at the ceiling with a dazed look in my eye. Everything felt like it ached. My arms, my legs, my head, especially  _above_   _my right hip._  It took me minutes before I could fully regain myself, all the while I was getting checked by Adan.

"Uunngghh." I groaned, feeling my voice come back to me. "How hard … did I hit my head?" Was the first sentence out of my chapped lips.

When no one offered an answer, I continued. "I think I saw … The Maker." I joked. I knew that the woman I'd seen in my dream wasn't. I wanted to laugh. It was probably some drug induced dream, to be completely honest. Though I still couldn't shake the feeling that I should recognize that old woman's face from somewhere.

"What!?" I heard Cassandra's voice, her face coming into view just above me behind Angel. I let out a weak smile, which really looked like a lopsided smirk.

"Do you know … how hard I had to have hit my head to see someone else's deity?" I continued, hearing a raspy sounding laugh come out of my throat before I started to cough.

"Glad to see your sense of humor hasn't been damaged." The Seeker replied dryly, not looking at all amused.

"Sorry." Was all I could offer after my coughing had subsided. I looked around and saw the face of Adan, as he grabbed some new bandages from the counter behind Dorian. The Tevinter was standing on my left, his hands still held up and his face completely baffled. Angel had her face buried in the blankets at my right, one of her hands clutched in the sheets as she shook. I tried to lift my hand up to give her a pat on the head, but found that I was quite weak.

"W-what happened?" I breathed out, turning my head slowly toward the mage at my left. He began to wiggle his fingers.

"Your sister had me do this thing with my magic. I think I saved your life. Again." Dorian looked down at his fingers and I saw some electricity spark between them. Ah, that's right. My sister had First Responder training, so she knew how to do chest compressions and where to put the defibrillator patches and all that crap. I did, too, since we'd taken the class together. Guess they didn't know about that, here?

My guess is she had to jump in to explain what to do, since she had a broken arm and all. I could see the sling tucked underneath her body while she remained in a slouched position on the right side of my bed. I can't imagine she could do chest compressions with just one arm...

I felt my eyes getting droopy and I heard Adan grumbling at everyone to get out so he could change my bandages.

I was just glad my sister was alive, after seeing her fall over the railing like that. I'd thought of the worst and pictured her landing on her head. It seems she hadn't. Those were my last thoughts as I fell into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes, expecting the light to hurt again. It was dark out now, however, so my eyes didn't get the harsh treatment they did last time I woke up. I was still laying in the same place, soft flickers of light from a lantern came from the other side of the room. Adan, the apothecary/healer, used this hut quite often when he was giving checkups or tending to someone's wounds.

My gaze slowly slid to my right, seeing Cassandra sitting quietly in the corner near the door with a book out. The lantern that I mentioned was sitting on a shelf nearby, allowing her to read easier. My fingers twitched and I bumped into something lightly with my left hand. Rolling my head to the other side, I met with the sight of a slouched Cole on a chair beside my bed. He was leaned forward, face buried in the side of the bed with his arms crossed and being used as a pillow.

Slowly easing myself into a semi-seated position, I pushed my back against the headboard behind me. It was pretty difficult to move my body and I found myself feeling a bit weak. I was in a twin bed, from the looks of it. There were several other twin beds, which confirmed my thought about being in the infirmary hut. Small curtains were pushed against the wall, but looked like they could be pulled aside to allow privacy between the beds. I saw Angel sleeping on one of them, the sling for her arm peeking through.

I let out a sigh, knowing that Cole and Angel were both okay made me feel a lot better. My gaze slid down to my sleeping friend, his hat covering his face. Feeling an amused smirk twitch on my lips, I lifted his hat to peek underneath. Sure enough, he was asleep, his head turned to his right. I picked up his leather hat, setting it on my lap and putting my hand on top of his head.

If he stayed in that position too long, he was going to wake up with a back ache. Those aren't fun, mind you.

"Cole..." I murmured as I ruffled his blonde locks gently. I watched as his face twitched and his eyes slid open sluggishly. Cole sat up abruptly, hair standing on end and his blue eyes finally began to focus on what was in front of him. My hand, which was still resting on top of his head, moved out of his hair and I was about to rest it at my side but I felt him grip my arm and push my hand against the center of his chest.

Blinking, I was too busy looking at my hand to notice his facial expression. He shifted forward slightly, both of his hands clutching onto mine like I could disappear any second. I wanted to pull away, I really did. What Solas said to me still itched at the back of my mind, making me feel frightened.

"You're alive." Cole's voice was quiet and I almost couldn't hear it, "Y-You.. you were dead. You  _died_." His voice was filled with the sadness and fear he felt, surprising me. My brown gaze snapped up to his face, seeing a multitude of emotions flickering across. The most prominent one being anguish. Grief. His mouth was set in a deep frown and I could feel him shaking underneath my hand.

I didn't even know how to respond, to be quite honest. I was just sitting there like an idiot, not a word passing through my lips. I didn't like seeing him like this. It hurt. He was hurting so I was hurting. How was I supposed to make him feel better? I was alive. I was fine. But the only thing I could do was sit there. My lips parted as if to offer comforting words, but nothing would come out.

"I-I told you to run. Why didn't you run?" His voice sounded so subdued, his eyes were focused on his knees and almost completely hidden by his mop of hair. For once he wasn't staring through me. He wouldn't even look up at me.

"I couldn't just  _leave_  you." Was all I could offer, and it was true. Did he really expect me to just run and leave him behind? Just to save my own skin? I would never do that! "Cole, I don't care if it killed me. I wouldn't have fucking left you!" I hissed quietly.

I saw him look up at me fearfully, his blue gaze unfocused as if thinking about something. I wriggled my hand out of his grasp and I turned away, clenching my jaw. I stared at the crumpled blankets across my legs, glaring at them like they had been the ones to wrong me.

"I'm here, right now.  _Alive_. That's what matters." I stated evenly, trying to keep my voice low. My hands clasped the sheets into a death grip.

"Blood, so much blood. Hands shaking, shivering. It won't work. _'Why won't the blood stop?'_ " Cole took a deep breath, "Darkness. Floating. Drifting away. I felt you  _disappear_. You were gone. I-I … couldn't help." His voice was quivering and it felt like someone punched me in the gut. If I hadn't already felt bad, I really did now. Of course he would be the only one to hear me as I slowly slipped away. His friend. I'd almost left him and I could only imagine how that must have felt for him.

I let out a shaky breath, "Stop.."

"What were you  _thinking_?" Cole asked of me, the glow from the lantern flickered light across the white blankets beneath me. I refused to look up. What was I thinking? To charge into battle, armorless with only a dagger and attack an armed man. Not to mention, the fact that I had no experience in fighting whatsoever? Was it reckless? Sure. Stupid? Probably. But I would likely end up just doing it again and again, if it were to protect someone I cared so much about.

"I wasn't." I gritted out, trying to smother the pain I felt in my chest from boiling over. I didn't regret my actions, no. I squeezed my eyes shut and growled, feeling irritated that he would question my decision. I had my reasons! Why – "What were  _you_  thinking when you hopped over the walls of Skyhold?" I bit back, my voice raising a bit as I turned to look at him through my messy hair.

I felt a little insulted that he could go around being so careless, yet when I did he made me feel like an irresponsible fool. And maybe I was. At the speed he had been coming down that rope, he could have easily seriously injured himself. It would have left him crippled and waiting for the enemy. Yet he did it anyway.

" _'_ _I can't lose_ _her_ _._ _'_ " Was the only statement Cole offered in response as he finally looked up from his knees and locked gazes with me. Anything that I had planned to throw back at him through the anger that I was feeling slowly dissipated at the intense look in his eyes just then. I was completely unprepared and hadn't really expected him to feel so strongly about this. It felt like my heart leapt into my throat.

"I … ughh … shit." Was my eloquent reply as I felt my face starting to heat up. I bit the inside of my cheek and was forced to look away, not wanting to embarrass myself further. "Sorry." I conceded in defeat, feeling my shoulders slump. I could be a royal asshole, sometimes. He cared about my well-being, and here I was getting angry at him for it. Shit I'm an idiot.

The conversation stopped right there, leaving the room in dead silence. I sighed, flicking my gaze around the room. Angel was still sound asleep and … Cassandra. My head snapped in her direction and my eyes went wide. The Seeker looked like she was trying her hardest to concentrate on the book that she held, her face scrunched up in concentration. I couldn't see most of her expression, since said book was held up so that it covered anything from the eyes and down. I could have sworn I saw her face starting to turn red. I'm not sure from what, but …

Not wanting to make things awkward, I swallowed and looked up at the ceiling as I leaned back against the headboard. Perhaps if I pretend that she's not there, everything will work out? Heh.

* * *

I don't even remember falling asleep, to be honest. It was like, one moment I was staring at the ceiling and the next I was slowly cracking one eye open and seeing how bright it was. When did I lay down?

I pushed the blankets off from over my head and peeked out, squinting at the bright sunlight. I waited for my eyes to adjust before I tried to ease myself into a seated position. I groaned, feeling my muscles ache from the movement. I silently wondered how long I'd been in this bed, judging from how sore I felt it may have been awhile. How long was awhile, though?

Angel was gone and the only other person in the room was some guard that was sitting in the stool Cassandra had been sitting in last night. The guard didn't even acknowledge me as he sat at his post, watching the door. He may have been one of Cullen's men, because he was currently wearing full plate with a sword resting at his hip.

Last nights events slowly flicked through my mind, causing me to frown. Cole had been pretty upset about what I'd done to keep him from getting hurt. I'd almost died. And I had made a complete ass out of myself in the process. Part of me wished last night was just a dream. I wonder if he was mad at me? I almost couldn't even imagine an angry Cole.  _Could_  he get angry?

I don't know if I wanted to know. I lifted my arm up and wiggled my fingers, staring at it with a thoughtful look on my face.

I think I have a fairly good idea who it was that attacked me last night, since they'd been after my gun. Squinting my eyes and looking at the door again, I wondered if they found it on any of the dead bodies that were down there. I certainly hoped so. While I was in the middle of my musing, the door to the infirmary was cracked open and revealed a small elven woman.

"O-Oh. You're awake." Her light brown eyes widened as she shuffled forward to get a better look at me. She raised her hand above my hip and I felt warmth radiate from the area. Was she a mage? That would certainly explain the weird tingly feeling I was getting right now.

"I'm sorry … you're?" I asked, examining her face for any signs of hostility. Don't judge me, I just got attacked while I was sleeping in my room. In Skyhold, to top it off. I think I might be more than just a little 'on edge' for awhile.

"Kerrah. I'm the mage healer here in Skyhold. J-Just started working about a week ago!" Her voice sounded sweet as she tilted her head and offered me a warm smile. I stared at her suspiciously, but accepted her answer.

"How long have I been out?" I felt my throat itch, begging for water. I was repositioned so my legs were hanging off the side of the bed and she began to deftly remove the bandages around my stomach. I could feel the cold air lick my bare legs, making me realize I was in shorts instead of pants.

"A-About three days. Not counting last night." Kerrah spoke softly as she examined my new burn scar near my hip. It still looked a little irritated, but other than that seemed to be looking okay. "Y-You were dead... your heart stopped after we got your injuries healed."

"Ah... so I did die." I murmured, looking at the wall behind her. It was lined with shelves that were decorated with many potions and herbs. Some of them glinted from the sunlight that poured in from the window across the room. This was what … the third or fourth time I've almost died in this world now?

"Your s-sister saved you. She knew this thing … she called it  _CPR_." The elf pronounced it slowly, as if not knowing the word.

I asked a few more questions, getting a bit of information out of her before she got done with my bandages. Apparently they didn't know how to resuscitate people here on Thedas, which kind of surprised me. Angel was in the process of teaching Kerrah the basics she'd learned from First Responder training, which I had no qualms with. It would definitely prove useful for them here.

They'd found a few more problems with my body. The problems I already knew, really. They were able to fix my minor insulin resistance with their magic. Which means I no longer had pre-diabetes. I wanted to jump for joy at the thought. I wondered if they were able to essentially cure Diabetes, then? Because perhaps they could help my sister.

They were, however, not able to fix the problems with my reproductive system. It was a wee bit of a sensitive subject for me, so I kind of cut off the conversation after she told me she was sorry. I really did not want to hear her pity. I knew I had a condition which made it hard for my reproductive system to function normally. This was why I didn't have menstrual cycles. It was also the reason why I'd never have children.

Sighing, I watched as Kerrah stood up and offered me a comforting smile.

"You can get up and try to walk now. It might take a-awhile, but you'll get the hang of it!" Ugh. Her optimism was almost blinding, really. I stifled the urge to grimace at her as I began the process of standing up to stretch so I could walk.

It was slow and agonizing, my hip itched and still burned a little when I shifted too much. The bandages and salve seemed to help, though. It wasn't nearly as difficult to walk around as it had been back when we first came to Skyhold. I think it might have been something to do with the fever I kept almost dying from. That's just a theory, though. I was up and walking around by the end of the day, but Adan insisted I stay one more night at the infirmary. Just in case.

I planned on asking Lynn what her plans were, tomorrow. I could already tell that the guards were still on edge from the event. The only thing I knew for sure, was that I had to step my training up a notch. Simply knowing how to fire a bow wasn't going to be enough if I were to be constantly in danger. Stablehand or not, they wouldn't care and would strike at any time. I can't afford to die yet. Especially now that I've found my little sister.


	19. Disturbance

I kept having these God's forsaken headaches, even after I'd gotten a good nights rest. I stood there, in the infirmary as Adan did one last checkup before I left. I was glaring at the shelves that were filled with potions and vials of random crap I didn't know. There was even some books scattered here and there. I had been given some sort of potion to help with the pain in my hip, since it was almost healed. Adan had warned me that it was one of the more powerful painkillers and told me to be careful. Hopefully I don't get too drowsy.

Sighing, I tried to push my glasses up my nose as a habit but found that they weren't there. Blinking confusedly, I crossed my eyes as if that would help me find my black frames.

"Keep doing that and your face will get stuck." The old man mumbled, finishing up with whatever it was he was doing. I scowled, looking over at him.

"Do you know where my glasses are?" I asked, just now realizing that I could see just fine. I hadn't even been wearing them this whole time and I didn't notice! Adan grunted, walking over to one of the shelves and grabbing my frames. Did they heal my vision while they were at it? Kerrah hadn't mentioned it to me. I wonder if that's why I didn't see anyone ever wearing glasses in this world.

"This contraption helps you see, I take it." He stated gruffly, "You were damn near blind, child! Did you not think to tell anyone?" Okay, he was starting to sound a little enraged there. I could have sworn I saw a vein popping out of Adan's forehead. I grabbed my frames from his hands and stared at him fearfully.

There was nothing more scary than an angry elder. I pissed off my grandma once and the only thing I'll say is I never pissed her off again. Ever. My grandma had deadly aim when it came to throwing shoes and since having a short temper ran in the family … lots of shoes were thrown. Usually wasn't at me, though. My mom was normally the target. I gulped, slowly backing away toward the door.

"I ahhh..." I muttered, scared he might throw something at me too. "Oh,  _what's that?_  The Inquisitor is calling me? Eh heh." I threw the door open and darted out into the upper courtyard. I could hear Adan yelling  _'Get back here, you runt!'_ but I kept running.

It felt good to run after being cooped up in that hut for so long. That painkiller in liquid form he had given me really worked wonders, because I couldn't even feel any pain. It was so nice to feel the wind in my hair and the fresh air in my lungs. It was a little chilly, since I was only in a pair of shorts and a plain borrowed tunic from Adan's infirmary. My boots clunked on the ground as I ran down the stairs as I made my way toward the barn. My boots were untied and I didn't realize it until I stepped on one of my laces and tumbled to the ground near the well. I'm surprised I didn't step on one while I was coming down the stairs, now that I think of it.

I let out a grunt as I hit the ground, rolling over onto my back in the soft grass. The sun was in a position in the sky that told me it was sometime in the afternoon. I lay there, my wavy hair spread out messily around my head and I watched the clouds as they floated by slowly. I sighed, lifting my hand with my glasses in them and held them in front of my face to examine them more closely.

I unfolded and held them in front of my face, looking through the lenses. They were blurry. So my eyes really were fixed, huh? The sun's rays glinted off of the lenses on my glasses, making me squint so I pocketed them. I let my arms rest at my sides as I stared at the sky, feeling myself slowly start to relax.

It was like I  _blinked, then I was being carried away again. I was slowly reliving what happened when the Qunari rogue had brought me down the rope_ _to take me away_ _._ _It was so dark out, as the cold wind whipped through my hair and I could feel the dread settling in my gut._ _I knew I was going to die if I didn't get away. But he was too strong, I couldn't do anything. Fight. Fight. I couldn't wriggle out of his grasp._ _It was like my strength was completely sapped from my body, making me feel sluggish._ _I looked up, the dark sky illuminated by the bright full moon and I could see a figure sliding down the rope toward us._

_It was Cole. His white-blonde hair looked silver in the moonlight as it fluttered around from underneath his wide brimmed hat. He had a fierce look on his face as he aimed his feet at the back of the Qunari holding me. He used his momentum to knock the Qunari rogue to the ground, I went tumbling to the side in the snow. It hurt, just like the first time, but I forced myself into a seated position and watched as my friend started to try and fend off the enemy._

_Only this time, he didn't succeed._

_I watched as he got cut down, the blood looking black in the moonlight, and he fell face first into the soft snow. It was like it happened in slow motion, my eyes widening in horror. The Qunari rogue turned around and started to walk toward me, but my gaze was not focused on him. I was looking at my friend, who was now lifeless, black starting to pool beneath his body. I whimpered through my ragged breaths, seeing one of my worst fears coming true._

_This was my fault. My fault. All my fault. My vision was blurry and I couldn't see anything clearly. I could feel something inside of me break, a hole in my chest was threatening to eat me alive. He grabbed_  my shoulder and shook me, my brown eyes staring at him wildly. I let out an agonizing scream, pushing the figure away.

I stumbled to my feet, pulling out my knife from my pouch where it usually sat and flipped it open. I heard it click and my hands were shaking, body in a cold sweat.

"Whoa whoa! Wait –" They said, but I pointed my weapon toward them as I started to hyperventilate and my whole body began to tremble.

"D-Don't  _touch_  me!" I screeched and I could start to see everything slowly come into focus. Faces. Faces I should recognize, but my body was still alert and in fight mode. I heard someone unsheathe their sword, making my eyes dart in their direction.

"Drop your weapon." They ordered sternly. It was Cassandra, her cropped black hair shifted as the wind blew by. Her brown eyes were fierce as she held her sword up and aimed at my neck. Why was she pointing it at  _me_? There was –

I looked to the figure in front of me, seeing that it was not the Qunari rogue that tried to take me. It was Krem. He was staring at me worriedly as I pointed my small hunting knife at him, still quivering in my spot outside of the tavern.

How had I gotten up here?

"It wasn't real." I heard Cole whisper from my right and I could feel myself stop shaking. It wasn't real. It wasn't …

His pale hands came into view, taking my knife out of my hand. I was frozen, standing there in the upper courtyard. I could see, now. Krem, Cassandra and Cole were standing close by. A few random passerbys had stopped to watch the commotion, as well. The sun was slowly starting to set in the distance, lighting the area with an orange-ish glow.

**Third Person**

The Inquisitor came down just in time to see Cole taking a knife out of Lyn's hand. The wavy haired elf had heard the scream from inside the main hall of Skyhold. She'd been in the room with Solas, having a cup of tea with him and just talking. The bald elf was not far behind as they came down the flights of stairs to get a closer look at the scared girl.

"What happened?" She asked as she trotted up to the scene. Some people had stopped what they were doing and stared at her as she hyperventilated, looking like she was having an anxiety attack of some sort. Lynn waved them off, telling them to shoo.

"She fell asleep down by the barn, I was going to bring her to her room." Krem explained, motioning toward Lyn who was currently standing against the tavern with her shoulders slouched. The elf watched with curiosity as Cole tried to cup Lyn's cheek in his hand. The girl looked up straight at the bald elf standing beside her, and took a step away from the blonde rogue. The Inquisitor peered over at Solas, seeing clear disapproval in his eyes as the blonde spirit tried to comfort his friend.

"I need some time alone." Was all Lyn offered as she pulled away from Cole, who tried to grab at her again but failed. Some rocks crunched underneath her boots as she turned and walked into the tavern without another word.

After she had left, Cassandra sheathed her sword and stared at where she'd been standing moments before. The Seeker had a cautious look on her face. "What has gotten into that girl?"

"She was almost taken and killed, she's obviously just scared." Krem offered, shifting his weight onto one of his feet as he stared over at the Seeker. Cassandra did not look convinced.

" _Just_  scared?" Cassandra let out a breath, "She was about to attack you. If she's going to go insane, I'd rather it not be within the confines of Skyhold."

"She won't." Cole spoke from his spot near the tavern. He hadn't yet left, like Lynn thought he would. The Inquisitor kept quiet, silently taking in all of the information. It was what she did best, afterall. She would usually just stand nearby and listen, taking everything in while the others seemed to forget her presence. It usually worked in her favor.

"How can you be so sure, Cole?" Cassandra asked, sounding genuinely curious. The scraggly rogue frequently had some kind of insight on things that no one else would be able to pick apart in a situation. Because of his gift. Lynn saw his views as quite useful, especially at times like this.

"Lyn said things take time.  _'It's okay to fall down, but_ always _get back up.'_ She won't let it. She hasn't before, she won't now." He sounded confident in his friend.

Lynn thought that the otherworldly girl's reactions were normal, now that she thought about it. She was ripped away from her home world, which she described as completely different than her own. One where she didn't have to face death so regularly as they did here. The elf thought back on her first battles and how close she'd come to death because of them. How she'd felt. It's the same thing with Lyn, the girl was not used to the death and pain. She just needed time to adjust.

The Inquisitor nodded thoughtfully, seeing that the others were now facing her. They were obviously waiting for her say in the matter. She honestly didn't think she was a threat to the well-being of the residents of Skyhold, so long as she was under watch. The girl needed to be supervised, just in case she  _did_  fall off the deep end. One could never be too sure.

"Do you remember when we were younger? The fear and uncertainty we felt during our first battles? Our first near death experiences?" Lynn began, "She's older than we were when we had to go through that. We don't see it quite as often unless someone was sheltered since birth or is noble. But she's going through that. Cole, just keep an eye on her just in case something  _does_  happen."

This got a nod from the spirit. Cassandra still looked uncertain, but knew to trust the Inquisitor's judgments. Krem was frowning, his face kind of hard to read as he stood there with his arms crossed.

"Why Cole?" Solas finally spoke up from her side, looking at her with a blank look on his face. There was obviously something that happened between the three and she intended to find out. But that was for another time.

"He's the closest to her. She trusts him and is less likely to lash out at him." Lynn explained logically, just as the tavern door opened to reveal the girl in question. The girl's face was passive as she kept her brown eyes on the stone path leading to the staircase. She had her bag on her shoulders as she walked by without even a glance at the group. What was she doing? She certainly wouldn't think to  _leave_ , would she?

"Her bedroom causes the whispers to get louder. The memories of flesh, gunshots and blood."

"Am I the only one that finds that a little creepy?" Krem muttered, staring at the blonde rogue uncertainly as he seemed to hide underneath his massive hat.

_(Later that night)_

Lynn was standing in the War Room with her three advisors currently discussing the events from four days ago. Things were starting to calm down ever since they switched up their security policies and guard shifts. Everyone was starting to get into a new routine and they all hoped to continue to make it harder for another situation such as that to happen ever again.

The Inquisitor let out a sigh, feeling worn out from the day's events.

"We can't afford to start a war with the Qunari. Tensions are already high as it is, this is the last thing we need to happen." Lynn spoke, referring to the fact that Orlais was currently undergoing a civil war and to top it all off there was the whole Templars and Mages thing going on. They did  _not_  need another enemy lurking and waiting to strike. As it seems, however, it may be an inevitability.

"The Inquisition will always have enemies, Inquisitor." Cassandra spoke from the left of Lynn, causing her to blink. She'd forgotten the Seeker was even there. The elf hadn't been getting much sleep lately and it was making doing her job that much more difficult.

"We do have the advantage of knowing just  _who_  that enemy is and what they want." Leliana pointed out evenly, her chainmail glittering in the sun as it shone through one of the windows. She leaned forward and looked down at the small metal contraption that lay on the table for all to see. The Spymaster was one of the people that saw what those men in Lyn's room looked like after they died from the gunshots. It unnerved her that such a small thing could do so much damage. She hadn't believed it completely before, but now she understood why Lyn was fiercely protective of the weapon when it came to it falling into enemy hands.

"The Qunari are known for their meticulous planning. We need to be ready if something like this ever happens again." Commander Cullen put in, "Perhaps it would be best if we just destroy the gun."

"That is not for us to decide." Cassandra shifted on her feet as she looked over at the Inquisitor, who looked to be barely standing on her feet. Her usually bright and exuberant demeanor was replaced by her now dulled and exhausted state.

"We could always spread rumors of it being of magical origin. It might cause them to back off for a little bit." Leliana offered, standing straighter as she placed her small hands behind her back.

"I could help with that. It wouldn't be so hard to spread some news about one of the Inquisitor's allies having a unique ability. It would be hot gossip among the nobles." Josephine could be heard from Lynn's right as she scribbled a few things down on her clipboard that she carried around with her all of the time.

"It's worth a try." Lynn sounded worn out as she rubbed her eyes tiredly, "Can we continue this tomorrow after I've slept, please? In the mean time, keep that gun locked up somewhere safe. Lyn is in no condition to have something that dangerous in her hands." She was, of course, referring to the fact that the girl almost had a mental breakdown earlier today.

"Yes, Inquisitor." Josephine smiled and curtsied, causing the elf to smile at her. She always was the polite one.

**First Person**

I fell back into a routine for the next few days, busying myself with working at the stables. I did, however, listen to Adan when he said to take it easy. If only because I didn't want to end up going back to the infirmary to meet an angry old man.

I've been spending my nights up in the barn loft, finding that my room brought back too many memories of that night I was almost taken. There was still a small blood stain on the ceiling, even. How could I sleep in that room with it like that?

Whenever I was alone I found myself thinking about it, almost working myself into a panic. But every time, Cole would be there. Just the fact that someone was there was enough to allow me to relax more. He helped a lot, actually. But I found that it was getting kind of tiring, trying to keep a distance between the two of us. The 'what ifs' kept floating through my head whenever he got too close, causing me to shift away.

The fear alone was enough to keep my mind off of the feelings I had for him, which still have not gone away. I wished they would. Right now it was just a little crush, really. What if they developed into something more? I couldn't control them. That thought frightened me, just like many other things lately. Fear. Always with the fear. I was getting sick of it.

Which was why I was currently standing in front of Sera in the upper courtyard, asking for her help. She knew how to use a bow and how to protect herself in battle. That and I felt more comfortable asking for her help in this. If I asked Cole, he wouldn't have known really what to do and I had a feeling he would be hesitant to cause me any pain. Intentional or not. Lynn was always busy and … Bull would just throw my ass around and call it training.

"Thought you'd never ask." Sera smirked at me, putting a hand on her hip. "I'll show ya what I can, yeah? It'll be fun!"

"I'm already pretty decent with aiming my bow." I offer, referring to all of the training I've been doing since I got to this world. And I was. I just hope she doesn't think I'm a lost cause. But she wouldn't have agreed if that were true, right? Ugh. Confusing.

"I told ya, didn't I? I mean, you miss, then you don't. It takes a bit of work, ya know?"

Yeah. This was going to be fun for her. I could already tell how much  _pain_  I was going to be in, but it'll be worth it right? No pain, no gain. I was probably going to die trying, though. I simply stared blankly at her as she talked enthusiastically with me and I would occasionally put a comment in here and there.

* * *

I spent the next week during my off time with Sera. She didn't seem to have a problem with it. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it. I think it was because she could easily throw me around, even though she was much thinner and frailer looking than I was. Damn elves are tricky. Never underestimate them! I was already fast and found it kind of easy to evade things. Especially when she tried to hit me with a rather large looking stick. That was  _motivation_ , right there. It had been my first lesson.

"First things first, Screechie!" She yelled, holding a stick (Well, more like a wooden pole) in her right hand and stabbing it into the dirt beside her. "Dodge the stick."

_Ridiculous._

"Dodge –" I had no time to continue, as she hefted the thing up and wielded it like a pike. The crazy elf began to slash at me with the biggest grin on her face. I squeaked and ducked, feeling the air shift right where my head used to be. If I hadn't moved, I would have gotten hit in the head! "S-Sera!"

I screeched, stumbling away just as she thrusted the stick forward and barely missed my stomach. And that's how it began. I'd gotten hit once and felt a bruise form instantly, but that motivated me not to get hit again. To try harder. It looked like we were dancing, her swinging that thing at me. At first I was stumbling around, but soon enough I began to focus more and started to get the hang of it.

I'll tell you one thing, it was  _not_  fun. Not that I expected it to be. Sera most certainly thought it was, though. To the random passerby, it must have been quite the sight. A psychotic blonde elf attacking me with a stick, laughing manically as she slashed and stabbed vigorously.

The craziest part? I kept coming back for more. Every night after work, no matter how sore I felt. I only hoped she was actually trying to teach me something and not just wanting to beat the pulp out of me for fun.

Then came learning how to actually  _wield_  a dagger. That's when I realized she was actually serious about teaching me things instead of trying to throw me around or beat me upside the head with some wood.

"Shite, are you serious? We've been through this like … a jillion times. How can you still not hold it right?" Sera laughed, making me feel a bit stupid. I was trying! I really was. I felt my anger bubble around, threatening to burst through the dam I've created. I'd been doing fine for awhile now with keeping my temper in check, but one can only handle so much. I was frustrated, tired and just wished I could do something  _right_  for a change.

"Well gee, Sera. I'm sorry I'm not quite as talented as you are! I'm trying my frigging best!" I yelled, holding out the dulled practice dagger and pointing it at her with a heated glare. We were standing in the training area in the upper courtyard, barely anyone else milling about at this hour. Most went inside the tavern or hung out in the main hall to spend their evenings. We were out here, the sun setting and casting long shadows on the ground. I shifted, feeling the rocks beneath my boots crunch as I did so.

"Obviously not hard enough!" The infuriating elf jeered, a wide smirk on her face. That did it, I could practically feel my self-control snap and I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. I lunged at her and tried to make a slash at her, like she'd taught me. I couldn't even hit her, however, because she moved around my arm and grabbed it with her little hand and twisted it.

"Auugh!" I felt her move my arm behind my back, disarming me and tossing me face first into the dirt. I groaned, feeling some rocks sticking to the side of my face.

"Alright, that was better. But yer gonna have to work on that temper of yours, Screech." Her hands tightened as she pushed on my arm more, making me whine. I could even feel her bony ass knee being pushed into the middle of my back, but made no comment and allowed her to continue. "It makes the arrows miss and you'll only end up putting one through some poor arsehole's head. Because teammates."

My body was still tense as I tried to look up at her from behind my wavy hair that covered my face, eyes still wild with fury. My head was turned to the side and I let out a long, drawn out, breath. I knew she was right, but that didn't mean I was immediately going to calm down. The thought alone of me accidentally shooting a friend was enough to allow me to forcefully relax my body. I could still feel residual anger flitting around in my chest, though. I had to put a lid on it.

"You're right." I gritted out, "I'll try."

It took longer than she thought to get me to actually be able to use a dagger correctly. A sentiment she believed was important to point out. Every day.  _All the time._ Which only seemed to make me more inclined to show her she was wrong. I  _can_  do this.

No, I wasn't all cool like Lynn or Cole with their shiny double daggers and how they could stab people and make it look like a dance. I'd keep this one just in case someone got too close, is all. Now I actually knew how to use it without fumbling like a fool. That didn't, however, mean I was any good at it.

I'd often times have to go wash the rocks out of my skin before I went to sleep in the barn loft at night. I stood inside of the stables this evening, Sera had left with Lynn on a mission somewhere. That meant I had a few nights to myself. I picked at some of the scabs that had formed on my hands and arms. Some from blocking, others from … me being an idiot. (That's not hard. Me being an idiot, that is.) I stood there, deep in thought as I started to finish up my work for the day.

I had to get this, somehow. I just had to. It is better than not trying at all, I always say.

**Third Person**

Varric was sitting in his usual spot at a table, lantern nearby to help light up his book in front of him. He had a quill out and was writing some ideas down for a new book he planned on writing. Only because the Inquisitor asked, though. Who would have known Cassandra was a fan of his works? The thought made the dwarf want to chuckle. It was unexpected. He could see the Kid making his way through the hall toward him in his peripheral vision, causing a sigh to escape through his nose. He could never be completely sure what was going to come out of that boy's mouth.

"Lyn and Solas got into an argument." He heard Cole start off with as he stood near the chair at his right. He was fidgeting again, with the hems of his patchy shirt. This didn't surprise him, really. The two didn't seem to see eye to eye on anything and he could often see Lyn glare at the back of his bald head when she thought no one was looking. The girl was always so full of resentment.

"No surprise there, Kid. What'd they yell around about this time?" Varric breathed, putting his quill down and folding his chubby hands underneath his chin. He turned his gaze up to the nervous looking boy. The massive doors to the main hall were cracked open behind him, revealing the outside world. The sun was slowly starting to go down, casting red hues on the sky. Cole seemed to think about what to say for a moment, before he finally began.

"Solas saw the way she looks at me when she thinks no one notices. So he told her that she will only end up hurting me. Now she won't even let me touch her. She's afraid. What do I do?" The blonde rogue spoke, remembering all the times since she woke up about a week ago. She would always pull away from him or keep herself at a certain distance, afraid. It was completely different to how Lyn used to be before, where she liked him being nearby. He wanted that back.

"When she thinks no one notices..." Varric mouths and whispers under his breath, "What … what exactly do you  _mean_  by that?" He can never be too sure what the other rogue could be referring to, so he has to make sure. The dwarf has misinterpreted the Kid before, so he needed clarification before he jumped to conclusions.

Varric watched curiously as Cole seemed to squirm ever so slightly as he thought about his answer, fiddling around with the wooden pendant around his neck. "Cheeks flushed, sweet smile on her face. She's softer than she'd like everyone to believe."

"I seriously doubt that, Kid. Are you sure you're not just seeing things?" Varric chuckled, standing up and stretching. He could hear a few bones crack as he sighed, looking around and seeing not many people ambling around in the main hall like usual. There was an occasional servant that would scurry by to pick up some dirty dishes that were rested on one of the many tables that lined the walls. "That girl would punch a Druffalo if it looked at her the wrong way."

"I know what I see." Cole insisted, his hands falling at his sides again as he looked down at the dwarf. "How do I get it so that she lets me close to her, again?"

Was he really asking what he thinks he's asking? Varric didn't know what to make of it, to be honest.

"Errrr … I seriously never thought I'd be having  _this_  conversation with you." He scratches his chin thoughtfully, "Sometimes you have to fight for what you want."

This got a head tilt out of the blonde rogue as he blinked owlishly down at Varric. "Fight?" It was like the thought never occurred to him that he would have to 'fight' for Lyn's attention.

"Yeah, uhhh … let her know how you feel. I mean … you  _do_  feel things for her, right?" He elaborated, shrugging his short arms as he smirked up at him. The torchlight nearby illuminated Cole's pale face just enough to allow the dwarf to see a faint blush form on his cheeks. It was almost imperceptible, but to Varric's keen eye he was able to see it. Well, shit.

"I feel  _lots_  of things when I'm around her."

Varric choked on his own saliva, baffled at what he was currently hearing. There was no mistaking it, now. The Kid has developed feelings for someone. That someone just  _had_  to be the surly woman that worked in the stables, at that. He knew that her heart was in the right place and that she usually did what she thought was right. But that didn't mean … Andraste's ass this was going to be difficult.

"Are you sure we're talking about the same Lyn, here? Not the elf – big grey eyes, lovable?" Cole shakes his head at the dwarf, hands fidgeting with his hand wraps as he waited for his answer. "Oh man, of all the girls … you pick _that_  one. I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for you."

"Why would you feel sorry for me?" Cole sounds confused as a small frown sets on his face.

"Look, nevermind. Just give her a flower or something, women like that kinda stuff." Varric paused and seemed to think about it for a second before going pale, "Ooon second thought, never –" It was too late, he was out the door before he could stop him. The Kid had left out into the gardens for a time, causing Varric to groan in response. What has he done?

"Oh, I gotta see this." Varric heard Dorian say from behind him. The dwarf turned around and rose a brow up at him.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to eavesdrop? It's kinda rude."

"Oh that's rich, coming from you." The Tevinter laughed, covering his mouth with his hand. His grey eyes seemed to follow movement behind him as he continued to talk. "Come come, we must go and watch your adopted spirit son get maimed within an inch of his life. I always did love a good show."

Varric groaned again, following Dorian out the door and into the upper courtyard where Cole had obviously gone. The sun's rays glinted off of the embellishments on Dorian's outfit as he turned to look down at the dwarf and grin excitedly. He seriously did not think this was going to go well. The duo descended the flights of stairs, following the fidgety rogue as he seemed to make his way out toward the stables where the angry girl usually resided.

"I do wonder, if she could make someone spontaneously combust with that glare of hers sometimes?" Dorian murmured thoughtfully, which wasn't helping Varric's nerves. "Proclamation of affections! Only to be led to bloodshed and – oh dear, it reminds me of home." It sounded like he just came to the conclusion.

"Not helping." Varric drawled as the continued their little trek.

Their leather boots padded softly against the grass and dirt as they tried to make their way to the barn quietly, where Cole had entered. He was standing at the entrance of the stables, staring down at the handle to the door. In his left hand, a single flower was held gently in his nimble fingers. The look on his face was a serious one, hair draped in front of his eyes as he seemed to steel himself.

**First Person**

I let my dirty fingernail graze across the worn out wood that currently made up the far wall in the stables. The aged wood had withered away enough to allow cracks in the wall, showing me the remaining sunlight outside before it was extinguished for the night. Tiny daggers of light peeked through, highlighting the ropes that dangled on the wall that I was standing in front of.

I was in the middle of putting the tack away when I heard the door to the stables open, causing me to sigh in exasperation. I'd told them that I could finish up down here just fine. I glared and whipped around, expecting to have to yell around at another stablehand. That was not the case, however, because I saw Cole walking toward me. I grunted, turning back around to finish what I was doing.

He's always been around lately, especially when I wake up having nightmares or if I'm feeling particularly under the weather when I'm alone. I was starting to wonder about that … Part of me hoped that perhaps he cared enough in his own way to pay that much attention to me? But the more logical side of me was telling me that it's just in his nature as a Spirit of Compassion. He sees someone hurting and he wants to help. I frowned, pushing away the dull ache that threatened to enter my chest.

I felt a warm hand as it was gently pressed on my shoulder, causing me to jump minutely. My head snapped in his direction, brown eyes wide. My mouth opened and closed, not making eye contact with him as I stared at his long-sleeved shirt.

"I-Is there something you needed? Because I'm kind of busy." I tried to divert, but he didn't seem at all bothered by it. I turned my body around to face him completely and I was intending to tell him that I just needed to be alone. But he was so frigging close to me, causing my train of thought to completely derail. My usual scowl disappeared, feeling confusion take hold. I'd been purposely trying to distance myself from him for obvious reasons and he seemed to respect that. But right now …

"Yes." Cole answered, pulling his left hand up and holding a pink flower out to me between his thin pale fingers. My mouth opened, as if to respond but nothing would come out. I just stood there and stared at it, face blank and my mouth hanging open. He's given me a flower before, but never actually directly. Last time he kind of left it on my nightstand.

"Er … Cole." I tried to back up, but could hear the jingling of bridles and straps as I bumped into them on the wall behind me. I gulped, feeling a bit trapped. Shit. How do I get out of this one? I couldn't smother it, since the tiny part of me currently residing in the back of my mind was vibrating with delight at the gift he was currently handing me. But the me right now just wanted to run. I didn't want this.  _Not now._

I could feel his hand leave my shoulder and saw as he clasped the pink rose in between both of his hands. He stared down at it, his blonde hair shifted in front of his eyes. I swear I could see a faint discoloration lighting up his cheeks. Was he … blushing? No. That  _can't_  be right. I've never seen it happen before and to be honest, I was more apt to believe my eyes were starting to malfunction.

"It.. it reminded me of you." Cole offered hastily, shifting on his feet. He seemed unsure if he should even continue, but did anyway. "It has thorns to protect itself. Pricking. Prodding. It nestles itself in the bushes, keeping people at bay. Delicate and soft." He grabbed my hand, setting the flower between my fingers and closing them onto it. "Beautiful."

My head snapped up at that, eyes wide in almost disbelief. It was so incredibly cheesy, I almost wanted to laugh. If he had been anyone else, I probably would have and just told them to stop wasting my time. But this was Cole. He was different. Special. I also thought that this gesture was just inconceivably … cute. Especially with the way his face was all flushed and how he fidgeted around kind of like I did when he was too close. I felt my face burn like it was set on fire, heart hammering against my ribcage. It didn't surprise me anymore, how easily he could get me flustered like this.

"But … I-I'm not any of those things." I stuttered, finally finding my voice. I was, of course, referring to the fact that I was not delicate nor soft. I could practically feel my brain melting in my skull at the fact that he thought that  _I_ was beautiful.  _Me!_  Solas' words were long forgotten by now as I focused on what was happening here. Now.

One of his hands let go and rested in the middle of my chest as he stared down at me. "Yes you are."

I could feel the happiness buzzing around inside of me, causing my body to shiver in anxiety. He … he wouldn't be doing this if he didn't actually  _feel_  anything for himself. Right? I stared down at the flower in my hands, bringing it up to my face to try and hide my timid expression.

It didn't work, obviously, as I allowed the soft petals to brush over my lips and underneath my nose. I flicked my brown gaze to look shyly up at Cole, who was staring down at me with that same intense look he had almost a week ago when I woke up.

"Please don't push me away anymore." He said lowly, cupping my cheek with his hand. The cloth wraps on his hand brushed against my skin. I conceded without much of a fight, allowing myself to lean into his hand. I  _liked_  this. I don't know what  _this_  was, exactly, but I was done with pushing it away. It was getting way too tiring.

"I'm … sorry." I muttered from behind my little gift, stepping forward a small distance and pushing myself against him. I was an idiot. I really was. A small voice was still whispering in the back of my head, telling me that this would only make things much more complicated for him. For me, too. But I ignored it in favor of all the fuzzy feelings I was having right now.  _This was all so …_

I heard a squeal of delight from the entrance to the stables, only for it to get muffled halfway through. Not so silent  _'shhh!'s_  could be heard afterward, making me scrunch my brows in confusion. Then my stomach dropped at the thought that someone else was likely seeing me like this. Multiple someones.

_Wonderful._

I squirmed, just now realizing that Cole was holding me in a tight hug. I stood there, squished up against him with my hands in front of me clasping the flower he'd given me just moments ago. I idly wondered if the poor thing was also getting squished.

"W-Wha-" I squeaked out, " _Shit!_ "

"We've been found out." I heard Varric's voice echo through the empty stable. Well, empty besides the horses and the two of us standing in the back near the equipment. I tried to pull away so I could get a peek at them as I heard the door open and footsteps slowly trail in our direction, but I couldn't. Cole's arm was completely blocking my view and I couldn't move. Why-

"Suddenly the fact that you and Chuckles don't get along that well seems to make much more sense..." The dwarf commented, sounding highly amused. Oddly enlightened, as well. His voice was much closer now and I could peek through and barely caught the expression he had, which was smug. The fucker was smug. I growled.

"Hello, Varric." Cole greeted, sounding much happier now.

I caught the sight of some shiny embellishments on some pants with a book strapped to their hip, telling me that Dorian was here too. My theory was confirmed when he spoke up.

"You know. I never thought you, of all people, would have a soft spot for sweet and innocent spirit boys." I could hear the smile in Dorian's tone, causing me to wriggle around but to no avail.

"I'm not  _soft_!" I felt my face heat up even further, threatening to burn itself off.

"No no. It's intriguing! I knew he became more human, but this … this is  _astounding_. How are you feeling right now, Cole?" Dorian examined him much more closely now, because I could see him shuffle a little closer.

"Content." He squeezed me.  _Can you let me go, now?_  I thought rather loudly, well more like screamed, feeling like my head was about to fall off from embarrassment. The only answer I got was him shaking his head at me from above. So that's a no.

I tried to glare up at him through my messy waves, but my nose bumped into his jaw and I couldn't even get a good look at him. Cheeky little bastard. I'll show him!

"You don't mean that." Oh, but I do. I could feel his chest rumble in what seemed to be amusement, but he made no move to let me go.

"Not sure whether to find it creepy or cute." Angel drawled from behind Dorian and Varric, "The fact that you both are currently having a conversation in your head."

Ah, so  _that's_  who squealed in delight and gave the other two away. I had wondered that, unless Varric or Dorian could squeal like excited schoolgirls when they see two people hugging. And that's another thing. We're just hugging! What's the big deal?!

Gods, I promise this won't be the last time that we're close like this. Had I known that he actually  _liked_  being near me, I wouldn't have pushed him away in the first place. One of the reasons were because I was so afraid that he was simply reacting to my emotions and not actually feeling them for himself. Like he was just doing it to make me feel better. My shoulders slumped and I could feel him let go and take a step back. Cole's warmth left and I immediately missed it as I looked up to stare at him through my messy waves.

"Why would you think that?" He didn't know? I would have thought he would have heard it or something but – "It's harder now. I have to concentrate, otherwise the words slip by like water through my fingers." Ah. So that means he was really concentrating on me, right now. I didn't know how to feel about that.

"Oookay, this just delved from cute and adorable to creepy and unsettling. Can you please speak out loud, dearest sister?" Angel spoke cautiously. She always was squeamish about the littlest of things. What was so wrong about it? I never did have a problem with letting him hear me, but that might be because I knew I could trust him from the start. If I hadn't known, it would be a different story.

"No, please do continue. I simply must understand the nature of their relationship. Can't have you blundering around and ruining all the fun." The Tevinter mage disagreed with my sister, staring down at her with his eyes twinkling. Twinkling with what? I didn't know; amusement, intrigue? I frowned.

"We're not some science project for you, Dorian!" I snapped, giving him a half-hearted glare. I wasn't actually angry, but he seemed to know that as he turned to me and offered a toothy smile. Varric was smiling up at Cole like a father who was proud of his son. Angel still looked a bit disturbed and just stared at the both of us with unease, though I could see it in her eyes. The interest and … I don't know what. I allowed my hair to fall in front of my face to help shield my expression as I clenched my jaw, face still hot.

"Tch." I did what I was good at doing and made a tactical retreat. I darted passed the small group of people, seeing the stalls whip by in my vision as I made my way to the door that lead to the barn. I flew out and shut the door a little harder than intended.

I slowed my ascension to the barn loft, stopping about half way. I pulled up my hand to look at the flower clasped in between my small calloused fingertips, soft pink petals stared back up at me. Allowing a wistful smile to appear on my face, I brushed my finger over the top of it. Perhaps this wouldn't be all that bad.  _Not bad at all._


	20. More Shenanigans and a Mission

I could feel the sun beating down on my face as I slowly began to come back to the conscious world. The rays were intense, enough to make me feel warm even though it was usually kind of chilly up here in the mountains. The warmth was welcome. The light, however, was not.

I curled up on my side and snorted, pulling the ratty blanket back over my head to hide from the offending rays. I felt a few small bundles roll off of the square bales I now used as a bed up here in the barn loft, hearing them mewl in discontent. Oops. Blinking sleepily, I peeked my head out and grabbed the furballs gently. They didn't fight as I brought them underneath the blankets with me and I fell back into a quick slumber.

This was usually how I woke up, for the past few weeks now. Though, today I had the day off so I was currently sleeping in. I missed sleeping in. Back home I always slept in whenever I could, since we people on Earth lived a much easier lifestyle than the people here I could afford to do that. Here? Not so much.

When I came back to, I was nestled underneath the blankets on top of some animal furs and the kittens were no longer with me. That's not what woke me up, though. It was the sound of growling.  _Growling?_ Blinking sleepily, I pulled the worn blankets off of me. The sun made me squint and my vision slowly started to focus. I came face to face with –

_A bear._

I let out a squeal of terror, seeing it's face right next to mine. My squeal echoed through the empty barn and I could faintly hear someone drop something from downstairs. It's mouth was wide open, teeth gleaming in the sun as it stared down at me. If I'd had a full bladder, I'm sure I would have peed my pants. My heart felt like it leapt into my throat and my stomach dropped as dread took hold. Fight or flight. Fight or flight. Definitely flight. But where?!

I scrambled back and pressed my body against the aged wood that made up the wall of the barn, chest heaving with deep breaths. The bear's head moved to the side, revealing the thin figure of Sera. The blonde elf was cackling so hard that I could see tears coming out the sides of her blue eyes. Her face took on a tinge of pink that stretched all the way to the tips of her pointed ears as she curled forward in her amusement.

It was then that I realized that she was holding a gigantic mounted bear head. She had been the one making the growling noises.

Fuck.

I was still hyperventilating, but the fear inside of my body was slowly melting away into irritation. It felt like a faint itch inside of my chest, making it's way into my limbs. I wanted to hit the damn woman upside the head!

"S-SERA!" I howled from my spot against the wall, hands clenching into fists. "You know I hate bears!"

"B-But it was funny, right?" The thin elf blurted through her cackles, the mounted bear head now laying at her feet as she leaned forward to rest her hands on her knees. "Y-You should have seen your face!"

"It was pretty funny, I've got to admit." I heard a deep voice say from behind her. My brown eyes darted over to see the broad form of Blackwall, who was leaned against the wall near the staircase with an amused twinkle in his eyes.

I let my hair fall in front of my face as I tilted my head toward the ground, looking at the straw and hay that was strewn across the floorboards. My eyes glinted with irritation and I allowed a chuckle to escape my lips. I will get them back. My revenge will be sweet.

Today was going to be an  _interesting_  day.

I got up, grabbed a new change of clothes, and headed toward the washroom. I didn't notice the disconcerted look on Blackwall's face. Sera, for the most part, was completely unfazed as she took some calming breaths beside my makeshift bed.

**Third Person**

It was Angel's lunchbreak and she was sitting in the main hall of the Skyhold fortress. People were bustling around and some were even grouped up and talking amongst one another. The girl slowly took a bite of some stale bread, watching as they all conversed amongst one another. The hum of conversation was welcome to her, as she munched away at her small meal. The only person she recognized was her coworker that also helped with preparing food in the kitchens and a few of the servants that she talked to on her off-time.

That is, until she saw the form of an angry bald elf stomping out of the round room across from her table. Lyn mentioned him a few times these passed few weeks when they would talk. Solas, she thinks his name was. She said he was an asshole. He clomped by, his face set into a carefully blank expression. She could, however, see the anger beneath his eyes.

The pink paint falling from his shiny bald head and dribbling down onto his pale features also helped. It fell onto his white shirt, staining it. Ouch, that was going to be hard to get out. Angel stared in forced passivity, trying not to burst into fits of giggles at the sight. Some of the people nearby had stopped talking to look, some giggling quietly underneath their mask or behind their fans.

Maybe two minutes later, she saw a couple more people walking by and out into the gardens where the washroom was located. One was a blonde (Now pink haired) haired elf, who looked less than pleased. The other was a rather gruff looking bearded man that she remembered long ago was flirting with Josephine.

It seemed as though someone was going around and paint bombing these poor individuals. She wondered what they did to piss that person off?

Speaking of Josephine, Angel wondered what the tanned woman was doing. She liked to occasionally sit down and just chat with the woman sometimes. It all started when Angel asked about the bras in this world. Josephine had then began speaking enthusiastically about the ones provided by Lyn and how well they had come out. To which Angel then offered up one of her pushup bras as a sacrifice to the merchant that duplicated Lyn's sports bras. Bras were a gift. Bras are life.

The teen was broken out of her musing when she saw a smug looking Lyn coming in through the front doors, pink paint on her small hands. The woman sauntered through the doors and into the gardens where the other three had gone. Curiosity taking hold, Angel stood up from her seat and abandoned her meal to investigate Lyn.

Her sister got into so many shenanigans. Sometimes Angel wondered how the woman was even still alive in this world. Angel opened the door to the gardens, feeling the fresh cool air hit her face. She took a deep breath and smiled.

"I'll never get tired of the fresh mountain air, here." Angel sighed, carefully making her way into the open space. Soft grass greeted her shoes as she padded across the small patch of greenery to the other side. The girl watched as Lyn made her way carefully out of the men's side of the washrooms with a pile of clothes in her arms and set them in the bushes just on the other side of the wall, hiding them. Digging around in the small pile, she grabbed some robes and went into the women's side quietly.

She didn't take long as she emerged with another bundle of clothes and set them in the growing pile. What was this woman up to?

**First Person**

Solas had simply gotten in the crossfire. Not that I was complaining, though. Making sure the pile of clothes and towels were hidden behind the bushes, I walked into the garden and took a seat in the grass next to my sister. I'd noticed her follow me, but paid her no mind because I had to focus on the task at hand.

"Dare I ask what you are up to this time, hmmm?" I heard the chipper voice of Dorian from behind me. I peered over at him and smirked. He must have heard Solas' half scoff half yell as he protested my lovely gift from above. Purely accidental.

Maybe.

"Just giving our friends a makeover. Friendly stuff."

"The pink paint was a fabulous touch. It went well with Solas' bald head." He laughed, looking at the wash rooms with me. I looked back over, spotting Lynn and Cullen playing a board game. They seemed deep in conversation and probably haven't even noticed the commotion. "Maybe now he will get rid of that hideous excuse for a shirt."

"His whole outfit, really." I agreed in a bland tone. Oh, so sue me! I really did not like Solas. I was biased, of course, because he was an ass to me a couple times before (It was a mutual 'asshole-ness' going on here, but I refused to admit it.). Both arguments hadn't ended well and I didn't intend on reconciling. Call me petty if you want, sometimes I just can't get along with certain people.

Which was precisely why I actively avoided Vivienne. I had a feeling if I ever ran into her I would end up punching her in the face. She would, no doubt, lecture me on how close I seemed to the Inquisitor's 'demon pet'. Insults to me I could tolerate, but if the woman insulted my friend I would probably want to rip her face off.

"He's got this 'apostate hobo' vibe going on about him, or maybe he's a woodsman." Angel burst into a fit of giggles and Dorian continued his commentary. "Absolutely dreary, I say."

"It would really be a … shame … if anyone else happened to stumble across his outfit, wouldn't it?" I sighed, stretching my legs out in front of me and looking down at the grass as it swayed in the wind. It was a clear day, so the sun was beating down on our backs as we practically sunbathed for the next five minutes or so. Soon enough, I could hear Sera screaming in anger from inside of the women's wash room.

"Piss!" I heard her curse from behind the door, it was muffled but I was able to hear it. Pushing back the urge to roll around in the grass and laugh my ass off, I stared excitedly at the doors.

A couple more minutes and out came Sera, dressed in Solas' clothes. His new outfit that he had been carrying just minutes before, to be exact. The blond elf stood there angrily in a white long-sleeved high collared shirt. A pair of white pants to go with it. To put it bluntly, she looked like a dork.

"Gee, Sera. I didn't know you were taking fashion tips from Solas." I jeered, a smirk on my face. It felt good to get back at her for all the times she's pranked me these passed months.

"Oh my, what's going on here." I heard the accented voice of Lynn as she spoke between chuckles. I looked over, seeing her standing next to Cullen. He was staring at Sera with a curious look on his face. Standing up, I brushed some of the dirt off of my butt and waited for the others to come out. Good, we've got a small viewing audience!

It didn't take long, really.

The thing is with Blackwall and Solas, was that I only left  _one_  pair of clothes in there. Sera's pair of clothes to be exact. So I'd left it up to them to decide which of them would come out shirtless and which would come out in a dress.

As it turned out, Blackwall made his way out of the wash rooms proudly. The warrior stood with his posture straight, chest puffed out. He was in the skin tight yellow plaideweave leggings, showing off his well-muscled torso. His face was tinged pink from what I guessed to be embarrassment. I've got to give him credit, he walked by like nothing was wrong. I choked back a laugh as I watched him march by, eyes dead set on going to his room to change into something suitable.

Then came Solas. The bald elf walked out, face completely passive (save for that psychotic eye twitch I noticed). He was in Sera's pink dress without any pants on at all, the skirt falling just passed his knees. His pale shoulders were showing, the only thing there being small straps that were to hold the dress up. I could hear said blonde elf howling with laughter from her spot in front of the wash rooms as she saw Solas walk by. By this point, I was biting my lip to keep myself from laughing. Tears were pricking at the sides of my eyes as I tried to contain my amusement.

"I do say, Solas. That dress looks mighty charming on you. Hugs your curves in all the right places, it does." Dorian complimented, his hand resting under his chin as he appraised the elf's ass as he walked by without a word.

That did it.

Laughter bubbled up and out of my mouth, sounding like some horrid mix of a broken squeaky toy and a hyena cackle. It was rather frightening, really. Angel, who had already been laughing, started to laugh harder because of my sorry excuse for a laugh. She already knew about my ugly laugh, the others did not.

Dorian was looking at me, wide eyed, as he covered his mouth to try and hide his growing amusement. Sera was crying in a corner somewhere (Not from sadness, mind you).

It was a wonderful time.

**Third Person**

Cole was crouched beside some bushes up near the training area one evening watching Lyn and Sera as they spoke to one another about their training. He liked to watch people like this whenever he wasn't busy doing things for the people around Skyhold.

Most people noticed him now, however, so it made it much more difficult to observe people unnoticed. It was also harder to help, but sometimes knowing someone was there and wanted them to feel better was enough. He was learning, now. Just like Lyn said before, he just had to find out how to do things differently. And he could. Cole rocked on the balls of his feet, a low hum escaping his lips as he continued to watch his friend.

He watched as they got into fighting positions, one dagger held out and pointed at one another. Cole could see that Lyn enjoyed it, even though she would scowl or bite back her own insults toward Sera at times like this. There was always that flash of a smile, a small smirk, a light in her eyes. He saw them slash, dodge, and strafe around each other like they were dancing. Her footwork becoming more sure, steadier. She was getting  _better_.

He always observed at a distance, people interacting with one another. Lately, though, Cole found that his attention was being drawn more and more toward his friend. Instead of simply being content watching from afar, he wanted to be near her. To talk and just spend time with her. It was odd, to  _want_  things. It confused, yet intrigued him at the same time.

Lyn got tossed onto the ground by Sera and she grunted and stood right back up.

"You're getting better, but not good enough!" Sera mocked, getting back into a stance. The elf's scathing words seemingly bouncing off of his friend as she looked up at her and mock glared. Sera's body was barely touched at all, aside from a scratch here and there. Maybe a stray bruise. Lyn's body was another story. She was sporting a nasty bruise on the side of her face and had rocks lodged into so many places it was hard to count.

The small curl of her pink lips, scratches and dirt marred her soft skin. Cole watched as the girl wiped some blood and dirt away from her mouth onto her baggy striped sleeve. He liked the way her rusty colored hair would tumble messily passed her shoulders. Or the way her dark brown eyes would light up when she was around him. Her song flitting around, growing and becoming stronger as the days went by. Her smile or the way her expression would soften,  _just for him._  It sent his heart stuttering in his chest every time she directed that look at him.

He'd talked to Varric about it once. Confusing, yet intriguing. He wanted to see it more. The dwarf simply stated that he was attracted to the girl and he accepted it as such. But what does one even do when they are attracted to someone? Varric never answered.

Lyn didn't even respond to Sera's mocking as she lunged forward again, this time actually holding the dagger correctly and swung. The blonde elf blocked, metal screeched on metal as they pushed apart and began slicing wildly. Their expressions matched one another – gleeful yet slightly deranged.

Lyn has changed since she arrived, Cole knew. Before she had been hesitant, scared of getting hurt. Unsure of whether or not getting to know these people was even worth it. Her brown eyes had been almost hollow back at Haven. He barely remembered much from back then, but he remembered her dulled and lost expression. Her pleas for help. She'd gone to  _him_  first. She knew. She trusted him from the start.

He wasn't used to being accepted so easily and that had been the start of their friendship. Lyn was different now, though. Her eyes were alight with a fiery determination to move forward. She wanted to get better so that she could help her friends. The same friends she'd been afraid to befriend at first. Not anymore.

Being here distracted him from the niggling little voices in the back of his head. The memories. Whenever he was alone, he found that he often thought about the things that have happened and they almost seemed to haunt him. He still didn't know what to do about that.

"Sup brotha'." He heard a female voice from beside him, attempting to sound deeper. Cole looked to his left and saw Lyn's sister, Angel, standing there holding a bundle in her hands. Her hair was tied back into a loose bun, a floury apron tied over her long dress. The rogue scrunched is brows minutely, confused at her odd greeting. Though it wasn't really visible underneath his mop of white-blonde hair.

The girl dusted her white dress off and crouched down right next to him, her brown eyes alight with curiosity. She stared at the two people who had just gotten done sparring. They were now cleaning off with a nearby bucket of water.

"I brought some snacks, would you like some?" Angel started to untie the small bundle and took out a round looking biscuit and beamed at him. "Cookies!"

"I don't eat." Was Cole's flat reply to her, making the black haired girl pause right before she was about to shove the thing in her mouth. She looked at him with her mouth open, looking almost incredulous. The sun was getting low in the sky, casting a warm glow on the ground beside them. The two sat in the shade, however.

"You're joking, right?" Angel leaned forward to peer underneath his massive hat, getting into his personal bubble. Cole, feeling a little uncomfortable, scooted back a little with an aloof expression on his face. Why would he joke about something like that?

"No."

"But I thought …"

"What are you two up to, over here?" Angel looked up, seeing her sister staring down at them with her eyebrow raised and her arms crossed. It did look a wee bit suspicious, didn't it? Two people crouched near some bushes watching people as they went about their business. Though, Angel had just approached him just moments ago.

"I was offering him cookies, but he doesn't want to eat them." Angel concluded with a pout, finding the fact that he 'didn't eat' impossible. Which must mean he simply didn't want to eat her cookies, right? The small girl took offense.

"I'll eat his cookies..." Lyn mumbled, taking a seat right next to Cole and holding her hand out with a small grin. Angel observed as the scraggly rogue seemed to visibly relax, sitting down cross-legged. Lyn's face wasn't quite as messed up as it had been while they were sparring. Thanks to a light healing potion that was usually provided by Sera at the end of their sessions. Said elf had already run into the tavern for some reason or another. Likely to brag about how easily she was able to throw Lyn around.

"I upset you. Sorry. I don't have to eat." Cole explained softly from Lyn's left and Angel squinted at him, trying to see if he was telling the truth or not. She certainly thought he was an odd one. It wouldn't surprise her if he was actually telling the truth.

The rogue seemingly stared through the young girl, causing her to shiver. With her keen eye, though, she was able to see how the two friends seemed to unconsciously lean toward one another. The girl handed her sister a chocolate chip cookie, a huge grin on her face.

"It's fine it's fine." Angel waved off, feeling a bit nervous that he could pick around in her head like that. She chuckled as Lyn broke the cookie in half and tried to hand it to her friend.

"You don't have to, but perhaps you could try. Yeah?" She offered, looking over at him with a small smile on her face. He looked down at it with a contemplative look on his usually placid features. Lyn pulled it up closer to his face, waving it around as if trying to waft the smell into his nose. "It's still waaaaarm."

Cole's face faltered and he seemed to give in, his hands coming up to grab it as he leaned forward to take a small nibble. Lyn, still holding the cookie, looked pleased as she watched and waited for his reaction. Angel, for the most part, was trying to suppress the urge to squeal at how cute they were with each other.

The beginnings of what sounded suspiciously like a sigh that was covered up with a cough could be heard from behind the long haired girl, making her whip around to see who it was. She didn't see anyone, besides the angry woman that had imprisoned her when she first arrived. She was walking away so she couldn't see her expression, her cropped black hair swaying in the wind. Huh.

"Soft, but kind of crunchy. It's really … sweet." Angel turned around, seeing the cookie completely gone. The only indication that there had even been a cookie is a few crumbs that seemed to stick to the side of the rogue's face. She laughed, setting the bundle of cookies in Lyn's lap and standing up.

"I'll leave you guys alone."

**First Person**

It was times like this when I didn't miss home. Even though the thought of my home world never really flitted through my mind much anymore, I still kind of missed it. My legs were stretched out onto the grass in the upper courtyard as we made ourselves comfortable near the training area, a bush seemed to hide us from whoever was sparring. I was able to watch as Iron Bull and Krem seemed to throw words back and forth as they battled with shields across the training grounds. I idly stuck the rest of my cookie in my mouth and looked down at my lap, seeing them all gone.

Blinking and feeling a bit confused, I stared down at the empty cloth in my lap. I'd only eaten one (and a half), there had to have been about five or six cookies in that bundle. My brown gaze slowly slid over to my friend, who was sitting cross-legged in the grass right next to me. Cole was staring down at me with possibly the most adorably innocent look on his face. I think it may have been forced innocence, judging by the small chocolate stains I saw on his fingertips and a few stray crumbs that were now resting on the side of his mouth.

"There's no way I can even get angry at you if you make that face at me." I sighed, shaking out the cloth that lay on my lap and handing it to him. Normally I punished cookie thieves, but …

"I like cookies, can we get more?" Idly, I brushed the crumbs off of his face and hummed thoughtfully.

"If you'd like." I responded and his lips curled into a small smile. I returned it, feeling affection flourish in my chest. Why did I have a feeling a lot of cookies were going to be stolen from the kitchens in the future? I only hope he learned how to dodge the cook's wooden spoon, since he seemed to have deadly aim. (Not that I would know or anything.)

* * *

Later that night, Lynn joined me at my table during dinner. Sera was there, too. I knew that usually wherever Lynn was on her free time, Sera was. The two stuck to each other like glue and seemed to be attached at the hip. I thought it was kind of cute, really, how the two elves would show tiny forms of tenderness here and there. Little touches, smiles and just how they spoke to one another. It was blatantly obvious the two were more than just bed buddies.

Not usually one to admire a relationship between people, I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I suppose it has to do with the fact that they were both my friends and I felt happy for them. I was glad that they were happy, especially in times like this.

"We've got a few things to get done in Redcliffe, soon." Lynn began, taking a dainty bite out of her food. "I've also decided you're well enough to have your gun back. Have you decided what we are to do with it, yet?"

"Hmmmm. I'm not really sure … but." I grumbled, resting my elbow on the worn out table in front of me and leaning my head on my hand. "I'll dispose of it properly after I've used up my ammo. Don't need it falling into the wrong hands, do we?"

"Agreed. I've seen what that thing can do and with the incident between you and the Ben-Hassrath." She seemed cautious as she stared at my face for any type of reaction. I was getting better about that, actually. Thinking about it didn't send me into a panic anymore. Don't get me wrong, it still scared the shit out of me. But dwelling doesn't get me anywhere.

"Killing baddies is what we do, ya know? Doubt they'll come back after what we did to em last time. Funny, innit?" Sera grins and takes a huge bite out of a piece of bread, "They'll probably try a few more times, but we'll show em!" Her voice is kind of muffled from the bread, crumbs spewing everywhere.

"Who knows, they might back off after we tell them it's been destroyed." Lynn still sounded a bit skeptical though and was probably just trying to say it to make me feel a bit more at ease. Not happening.

"Pfff. I doubt that, you know as well as I do that those fuckers won't stop. I'll likely be hunted for as long as I stay here in this world." I replied in a bitter tone, glaring at the holes in the table. I ran my fingernail over some of the cracks in the wood, thinking about how frigging unlucky I was. I should have just destroyed the damn thing in the first place. Would have saved me the trouble.

Lynn sighed, but didn't offer anything to refute my statement. She probably knew as well as I did that it was true. People were greedy. Well …  _most_. My brown gaze flicked up at my friends, watching as Lynn and Sera spoke softly to one another after our conversation died. I've met a lot of bad people in my life, but I was starting to think that perhaps I was wrong. My friends were a fine example that humanity was not doomed. The Inquisition was created to help people, after all. Hopefully this world will be a better place with Lynn's influence. She was a good woman.

I listened to them talk about why they were traveling around as of late. Apparently Lynn has been out closing rifts and all the like. She needed to get a better reputation for the Inquisition and helping out should work. All because in about two and a half months there was this ball that Empress Celene was hosting. They needed an invitation and the only way to get one was to make the Inquisition reputable in the eyes of the court.

I stood up and left, not even saying goodbye. Not because I was being rude, but I didn't want to interrupt their conversation. They were leaving to the Hinterlands and I planned to go along, at least. I'd be no good just sitting around in Skyhold and training, but not having actual experience. It's one thing to learn it, but another to apply it. Learn to use it effectively. That's what I intended to do.

* * *

The next day I found myself saddling up a bunch of horses with a couple of other stablehands. My small hands deftly maneuvering the straps around, since I was so familiar with it. My brown horse let out a whicker once I was finished, nuzzling my pocket. I'd named her Skittles … not that anyone knew. I referred to her as such only in my mind. Rubbing her soft velvety nose, I let my mind wander as I took inventory of my things mentally. I had to make sure I had all that I needed, after all.

I knew that I had to be more prepared, now. Especially with the over-looming danger of the Ben-Hassrath. I didn't really think they would strike so soon, but better safe than sorry right? The party this time was much larger, since we were supposed to split into two groups to get more done quicker.

* * *

Bull and his Chargers actually came along this time as we made our way closer to the crossroads. The horse hoofs clomping on the dirt road as we walked in a formation. Lynn, Sera and a few others were going to head to Redcliffe for a few days while we went to make sure the refugees had what they needed. I was under the impression they'd already helped the refugees, but I suppose more help wouldn't hurt right?

At some point we'd tied our horses off on a fence as we stood just outside of the little settlement, the wind was mild as it blew by. The chilly air felt nice on my face as I stared up at the sky, seeing a few clouds rolling by slowly. Rusty strands still seemed to fly into my face, however, making me scowl. Perhaps it was time to get a hairband of some sort and start tying it back.

Before we completely split, I could hear some of them bantering in the background as I slowly tuned my hearing in to listen. I was positioned near the back of the group, the rest of them situating their things as they decided who would be going with who.

"Do you really have to walk around with your shirt off or do you just like showing off your pillowy man-bosoms?" I heard Krem complain to his boss, looking up at the massive Qunari with a grin. Observing quietly, I allowed myself to smirk lightly. Those two, I swear.

"They're nice, aren't they?" He flexed and it didn't escape my notice that Dorian seemed to look over and appraise him. I grinned impishly and the Tevinter seemed to take notice, looking at me with a raised brow. I waggled my eyebrows suggestively and poked my pointer fingers together, an obscene gesture, as I flick my gaze between him and Bull. He scoffed in response, turning away so that I couldn't see the pinkening of his cheeks. But I noticed, Dorian. Oh, I noticed.

"What are you, twelve?" Solas asks, acknowledging my immature behavior from beside me. I peered over at him, a grin still on my face. He, for the most part, looked passive save for the way his one brow seemed to be raised.

"No you've got that backwards, Solas. I'm twenty one … and  _a half._ " I sassed back in a dull tone, "The half counts."

"Clearly." The elf said plainly.

"It's funny, because swords." Sera let out a giggle snort and I realized that more of the others happened to see what I'd done. I felt my cheeks darken in mild embarrassment, not even expecting to have been seen. Everyone was usually too busy, so I hadn't thought …

The only three giggling like idiots were Lynn, Sera and I as most of the others look at us with exasperated looks on their faces. Somewhere in the background Blackwall facepalmed. Most of the other companions were up on their horses and waiting around not far away. Ours were still lined up side by side as we stood off into the grass near some tall evergreens.

Bull knocked Krem to the side with his shoulder and they finished their bickering.

"You and Krem say words that hurt, but they aren't real, The Iron Bull." Cole addressed from beside the warrior. The sheer size difference was kind of amusing, really. Bull turned from his Lieutenant and looked down at the lanky rogue.

"Yes. We give each other grief. It's a soldier thing, doesn't mean anything." He explained to Cole, who nodded as if agreeing.

"It means friendship. And you're soldiers. Krem likes it, it makes him proud."

"You know, you don't have to talk about me like I'm not here." The object of the discussion stared, arms crossed as his eye twitched. Bull laughed,

"I guess I can see that." The bulky warrior grinned, "Him, huh?"

"Is that wrong?"

"No, no. I just thought, since you do that thing where you see into people's heads." He paused for a moment, "Actually, you're good, Kid. Keep it up."

"The armor is right. The body isn't, but it doesn't hurt him anymore." Cole fiddled with the wraps on his hands, his blue eyes still locked onto the Qunari's face. "You make it better."

It sounded like Krem made a choking noise as I stared passively at the three. In my peripheral, he had snapped his attention over to me as if to see if I'd heard. Of course I did, but that didn't matter. I peered over at him and smirked but went back to my business. Skittles was not far away as I opened my pack, which was clipped onto the saddle, and began to dig around.

"I said something I wasn't supposed to. Sorry." Cole spoke and frowned as he looked over at Krem, "You didn't want her to know, why?"

"It's not like- well. It didn't come up... so." The Lieutenant sounded a bit awkward about it, almost unsure of what to say.

"It's fine, I already knew." I spoke as I pulled a piece of jerky out of my bag, trying to make him feel better. I turned my brown gaze over to him. He blinked at me, a baffled look on his face. We stood there quietly for a moment as I gnawed at my prize I pulled from my bag.

"What … no questions? Not even a comment?" Krem almost seemed at a loss for words. I rose a brow.

"If I made a scathing comment, would it make you feel better?" I scratched my chin in thought as I stared off into the distance. "I didn't really think it was my place to say anything."

"Really." His tone made it hard to decipher what he was feeling so I looked up at him and tilted my head. His face was blank as he waited for me to elaborate. Not really knowing what to say on the matter without perhaps pissing him off (Since I seem to be good at doing that to people), I decided to take a page out of Cole's book and walked up to him.

"Looking doesn't matter. It's what's in here." I poked his forehead, "And here." I poked the area above his heart. "That matters. People are stupid if they believe otherwise."

It was true, really. Our bodies were merely a shell that contained what we really were. I suppose maybe I saw things much differently than most people, because Krem didn't look like he believed me at first. Like he couldn't believe that I'd just outright accepted the fact that he was transgender without even blinking. Were people that ignorant in this world, too? The thought saddened me.

"You really are something, you know that." I could hear the smile in his voice as I was forced from my thoughts. "I take it things are different back in your world?"

"Not really. Unfortunately the ignorance must be universal. Though they do have a social movement and all that shit. You'll have to ask my sister about it, if you're curious." I let my eyes wander into the trees behind them. It was true, my sister was pretty passionate about things like this.

"Why's that?"

"Errr... I was  _different_  before I came here. Indifference can be as blinding as ignorance, at times. I was no different, really." I stared sadly at the ground, remembering the times I saw people getting bullied because of it and I did nothing. Even just people getting bullied, in general. No one bothered me back then because I looked like I'd cut them if they pissed me off. "I could have done better."

That was in high school. We all have harsh times in high school, yeah? When I started going to college, things were much different. It's almost like it opened my eyes and I matured. I started to discover that I wanted to help people instead of allow them to get hurt. Thus is the reason why I chose Law Enforcement. I'd been in the process of changing myself, to be a better person.

"Who you are now is what matters." Cole spoke, repeating something I'd said to him before. I grunted and looked away to hide my troubled expression. I also didn't want to see if they were disappointed in me or not, so I just turned away and walked off.

The group split up into two groups, as was planned. Bull was leading one of the groups and Lynn leading the other. I was to go with Bull and his Chargers along with Dorian, Varric and Cole. The rest; Cassandra, Solas, Vivienne, Sera and Blackwall traveled with Lynn.

* * *

We found out from a couple of locals about some bandits that have been giving them troubles as of late. There was also word floating around about another group that sounded suspiciously like Venatori when they were described. We planned on taking care of both within the short few days that we had here. It would at least assist with getting the Inquisition's reputation up.

My feet padded on the soft grass beneath my boots as we made our way quietly down a small animal trail, underbrush and trees gave us a sufficient amount of cover. We eventually stumbled upon a small camp with a group that was sitting around a large blazing fire. Now, we didn't know what these bandits even looked like. So we weren't sure if these people were who we were looking for.

Dalish had idly mentioned that they might not be bandits, but could find out if one of us was sent out there. Basically bait. I readily agreed, thinking that it was a good idea since I seemed less threatening and all. I mean, I'd feel like complete crap if we attacked some random people you know? The others seemed to have the same idea, not wanting to accidentally attack innocents. Cole did not seem at all pleased at my decision, though, trying to grab my arm to prevent me from going forth through the bushes.

"I'll be fine." I assured quietly, hopping forward and into the clearing. I honestly did not look the part of a soldier at all, as I stood there in my plain blue tunic and cargo pants. The only weapon that was visible was my bow and quiver of arrows on my back. Not really that threatening.

"Yo." I spoke rather nonchalantly as I neared their camp, my hand raised in a lazy greeting. I saw a few of them grab the hilt of their swords and stare in my direction, but seemingly calmed after getting a good look at me.

"What's a girl like you doin out 'ere?" One of the guys sitting by a tent asked, a stone in his hand as he appeared to be sharpening his blade. I shrugged,

"Just hunting." I stared blankly as one of the bigger guys walked up to me, a friendly smile on his face as he got closer. Though, I could tell that it was forced. Okay, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. They were obviously a rough group, now that I got a closer look at them. I spotted someone in the back taking their bow out, looking at me suspiciously. Feeling nervousness flutter around in my stomach, I took a small step back.

The large warrior that was walking toward me didn't even get a chance to speak. I saw Cole poof into existence in front of me, giving the man enough time to look surprised before his throat was promptly cut. I stared, eyes wide as my friend glared at the rest of the camp.

"I won't let you!" I heard rustling in the bushes behind me as everyone charged forward, yells and commands being thrown through the air. Voices echoed in the clearing as I slowly slipped into the back and began to do what I did best alongside Varric.

"Archers to the North!" Krem shouted out the enemy's position as he shield bashed his opponent with enough force to send him tumbling away. This allowed me to safely fire an arrow into his arm, making him grunt and look over at me with a glare. A distraction that proved to be fatal.

Somewhere off to the left, I saw Dalish aim her 'bow' at the archers and they were engulfed in flames. Not a mage, my ass.

"Mage!" One of our enemies screamed, calling out the blonde elf as she revealed herself. I saw a few of the men look to her and charge forward in attempt to take her out, but they were blocked by her teammates. A magical barrier was thrown up and seemed to cling to their bodies, giving them a protective glow.

Bull's Chargers were doing an excellent job and their teamwork was astounding. With Krem and Bull shouting orders across the battlefield, it kept everyone on their game. The way they moved so comfortably between one another told me that they've been doing this for a long time. They worked seamlessly as I stood in the background and fired off arrows into unsuspecting enemies. Varric had wandered off away from me at some point, getting a better angle to shoot his crossbow.

It seemed I was usually overlooked a lot in battle because I didn't really look to be a threat, really. I still had yet to get armor, but Sera had me measured up the other day and it was getting made.

I heard a yell from my right, causing me to snap my attention in that direction. Turning my head, I saw a warrior in plate armor charging in my direction. His one handed sword was raised and his shield covered him enough that my arrow bounced off of the metal and landed harmlessly onto the soft grass below. I scoffed and got ready to leap away and start dodging until someone saved my ass, but I didn't have to. I saw Cole plunge one of his daggers into the back of the guys head, sending him falling to the ground heavily with a  _'Thud!'_

I blinked, seeing my friend disappear into a cloud of smoke and watched as his shimmering form moved away and back into battle. Though he wasn't far away. It was like he was the shadows itself, I swear to God. Rogues are tricky little bastards, I've gotta say.

It didn't escape my notice how he seemed to act as a silent sentry, preventing anyone from coming even remotely close as I fired away. To which I was grateful for, I couldn't protect myself in close ranged combat just yet.

It didn't take that long for everyone to finish up as I stood nearby and looked at the camp, which was now in shambles. The tents and stuff was scattered around from the scuffle, wooden poles broken and blankets strewn out. At some point one of the enemies must have been cut down and fell in the fire, because I saw a body laying in the fire pit as it slowly died down. A generous amount of arrows were sticking out of a lot of the bodies, causing me to cringe and look away.

Face set in a frown, I walked in the opposite direction toward where our horses were tied up and hidden. The sun was slowly starting to get lower in the sky, making the shadows from the trees look longer as they stretched out into the clearing.

I had used most of the arrows that were in my quiver, which seemed lighter now as it was strapped to my back with my bow. It mattered not, however, as Sera had drilled into my head the importance of arrows. I had a bunch more clipped onto Skittles.

How do people even learn how to deal with the constant death and fighting? I had already learned to focus during battle, almost pretending like they weren't people with families. People with  _lives_. I fought for my friends. I killed in order to protect them. I had to remember Krem's words from before as I began to fiddle around with the stuff strapped to my horse. I was different. Yes. That's what made me  _different_  than them. I only did it when I had to.

I looked up at the sky, standing next to Skittles and decided that it was almost evening. We'd likely make camp soon and take off early tomorrow to investigate these other people before meeting up with the rest of the party.

It shall be interesting.


	21. Scrutiny

After everyone had looted the bodies from the battle with the bandits, we slowly made our way to a nearby Inquisition camp. There were three large tents set up that would be used between the people in the party. I didn't necessarily feel like sharing space with anyone, so I set up my own tent nearby which was only about half the size of them. I remained rather quiet as the others seemed to converse among themselves happily.

The camp was positioned near a small waterfall, a tiny pond area with lily pads positioned underneath the stream. There was a lake up the hill, that I knew was where they'd recruited Blackwall if I remembered correctly. Judging by the cabin I saw on our way down the staircase, I wasn't wrong.

I was carefully picking some Blood Lotus near the small stream below the waterfall. My small fingers picked at the plant as I thought about what Adan had offered. He said if I grabbed my own supply of Blood Lotus he would give me a discount on my favorite item. Antivan Fire. It worked for me.

There was one slight problem that I seemed to overlook, aside from my abnormally bad luck. The terrain I was currently crouching near as I picked the plant out of shallow waters was quite slippery. I felt my boot slip as it crossed my mind a bit too late, sending me face first into the freezing water. I was submerged completely in the deeper part as I flailed about. I flew up into a crouched position, gasping for air and letting out a girlish shriek.

I could hear laughter not far away in the camp near the fire as they caught sight of my accident. I felt my face turn pink as I scrambled my way out of the water, shivering as the cold wind hit my body relentlessly. My clothing stuck to my body and felt heavy, so I started to squeeze out some of the water while I grumbled under my breath. It was evening now and the sun was starting to fall behind the horizon, making it so I was able to see some stars on the opposite side of the sky. The Blood Lotus I was collecting was lost in the depths of the water, floating away and out of my reach now.

Growling, I stomped back toward camp with my rusty hair plastered to my scowling face. My boots made a squelching noise with each step and my clothing still dripped and clung to my body despite my attempts at getting the water out. This made me feel a bit more exposed than I'd like, so I swiftly made my way toward my tent.

"I don't think it's warm enough to go swimming, Screech." Varric offered his advice as I walked by and I flipped him off before I dove into my tent in all my soggy glory. Sighing when I was inside, I rummaged around in my pack and found a plain tunic and some pants. It was hard getting the damn things off, since my fingers were freezing and seemed to refuse to listen to me. Once I was finished changing, I swiftly made my way over to the fire to take off my boots. I'd be without my boots all night, so hopefully we don't get attacked. Ugh. I needed to be more careful.

" – So basically we defended the whole town from fifty bandits, only to get paid in rice." Krem was sharing a story with Varric as I approached and I heard the dwarf chuckle. Only? Rice was a good commodity to have, though.

"Well, we didn't go hungry for months. Can't really complain." Dalish shrugged, her big grey eyes lit up with the amusement. I blinked, walking up to the fire and began positioning my wet clothing on an unoccupied log.

The pale blond haired man let out a grunt, as if agreeing with her. It seemed as though most of the others had retired for the night, leaving only a few. I silently wondered where Cole went off to.

"Enjoy your bath, princess?" I heard Dorian say as he sauntered back into camp, making me raise my brow. Where had he disappeared off to?

"Call me that again and I'll cut up your dress." I sassed back, knowing all too well that he valued them as such. It was actually getting pretty dark out, making it hard to see any further than where the fire illuminated. The moon wasn't really that bright tonight and the clouds seemed to drift by to hide it. The wind blew by and seemed to go right through my clothing, making me shiver and scoot closer to the fire.

The Tevinter scoffed, looking appalled as he held his hand up against his chest. "You really know where to hit a man where it hurts, don't you? And it's not a dress, it's a robe."

"Don't worry, I have spare clothes you can borrow." I stifled my amusement and tried to keep my face straight. He scrutinized what I was wearing and squinted. It looked like he was about to say something before –

"I found dinner!" Bull butted in happily, walking in from the same direction Dorian had. Both my eyebrows raised as he stumbled forward with a bloody looking wolf clutched in his huge hand.

"Ugh. Not again, Chief."

I'm just going to take a wild guess and say the wolf interrupted their special time together in the woods. I watched him start to skin the thing so that he could set it over the fire to cook. I stared blankly into the fire for awhile, watching as the flames seemed to dance as the light flickered across everyone's faces as they spoke quietly. A few of the Inquisition scouts ambled by, keeping watch for any activity outside of the camp.

I sat there and ignored their banter, thinking about where my friend could have gone. I didn't see him around the fire, maybe he was sleeping in one of the tents? I allowed my eyes to scan the darkness out around the camp, not really expecting to see anyone or anything. Apparently I was wrong, because in the distance, I could see a the faint outlines of a figure and a wide brim of a hat standing by the pond that I had fallen into maybe an hour ago.

Letting a breath out of my nose, I slipped my damp boots on and attempted to make my way out there quietly. It seemed unlikely, since every time I took a step my boots made a squishing noise from being wet. Frigging hell. There were a few rocks in the grass that I stubbed my boot on and I cursed silently, almost falling on my face in the process. Regaining my balance, I walked slowly and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Out here it was almost impossible to see.

When I got closer, Cole was standing near the waterfall, his feet at the edge of the pond as his eyes focused into the dark. He was looking out toward something I seemingly could not see. The light from the fire, back at the camp, offered little in terms of illumination. The moon would occasionally peek through the clouds and greet us with a dim glow.

Even with such little visibility, I could see the expression on his pale features. His eyes looked despondent. Lost. The sound of the crashing water behind his figure seemed muted as I focused on him. A small frown tugged at my face, seeing that he was gradually getting wet from the mist that floated around the base of the waterfall.

"Cole." I called, stepping a bit closer. He made no indication that he'd heard me as he continued to stare out into the distance. Silently hoping that he wouldn't lash out at me for 'sneaking up' on him, I gently grabbed his arm near his elbow. He jumped, turning toward me with widened blue eyes. I stared back worriedly, "You're getting wet."

My voice sounded drowned out, even to me, as I tried to speak to him. So I opted for dragging him away from the pond about halfway to camp. He didn't even seem to put up a fight as I led him away. We were still out of sight, though, as the underbrush and trees seemed scattered about to offer protection.

My thoughts kept flickering back toward that look on his face. I've seen that expression before. It was the same one I used to give myself in the mirror years and years back, when I was wracked with the guilt of not being able to save my siblings. I could only stand by and watch. Foster homes are not all sunshine and rainbows.

Shaking that thought out of my head, I turned toward him and began to wipe his face off with the long sleeve of my sweater. At least he wasn't soaked, like I had been when I fell into the pond. The possibility still remained that he could get sick since he was more human now. I knew not his limitations and what he was vulnerable to, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Cole didn't speak a word as I fretted, thoughts buzzing and zipping around in my head. His expression had not changed as the moonlight slowly died out as it hid behind the clouds again. Seeing that look on his face almost felt like it physically hurt me. I would never wish that pain on anyone, especially not him. Sure, I've seen that same look on his face when he thought no one was paying attention. When no one was around talking to him or he wasn't helping people around Skyhold. No one seemed to notice, either. But I saw.

I thought that maybe if I let him have some time alone, he could work it out. Whatever it is. That is what I did, after all. So I would leave Cole in the silence, to think. But not everyone copes the same way and the heaviness in his eyes seemed to only get greater and greater with each day. Little by little.

I was wrong. But what do I do? What  _can_  I do?

"You're hurting." He finally spoke as I let my hand fall to my side. I tilted my head, looking at him almost incredulously. Cole was sitting out here looking completely miserable and he tries to address  _my_  feelings?

I made a noise that sounded like a mixture between a grumble and a sigh, "I should be the one saying that. I'm not blind."

"I never said you were … blind." I shook my head at his statement and heard him shift around, holding something up to me. Peering down at his hands, I could barely see what it was but offered a small smile in response. He'd been picking Blood Lotus. The distraction wasn't going to work on me, though.

"I don't need to be gifted to know that you're in pain, you know." I informed my friend in attempt to get him to elaborate. I wanted him to talk to me, give me  _something_  to go off of so that I could try and ease his pain. If at all possible, that is. The thought that I might not even be able to help made my shoulders slump.

"You feel it, too. Right here." He pushed his hands against the middle of my chest, "I'm hurting, so you're hurting. H-How can I … How can I help people if I just cause more pain? I don't-"

"Cole, it's called empathy. When you see someone that you care about hurting, you can feel it too. It's … hard to explain. But don't worry, it's normal." Not something I was used to, either. I was never really an empathetic person, but it seems a lot has been changing lately.

"But … I don't matter. You shouldn't-" I felt anger flare in my chest and I glared up at him, making him pause and choke back whatever it was he was about to say.

"I shouldn't? I  _shouldn't what?_  Not  _care?_ " I snapped and growled in frustration and I gripped his hands. No. I couldn't get angry, especially not now. It's not like he could control what he was feeling. I knew that.

"If it helps." Cole's voice came out flat and I hissed, trying to bury the sharp pain that laced through my body in response. Trying to push me away won't work!

"Too late, can't stop now." I fumbled around, grabbed the Blood Lotus from his hands and turned toward the camp. "Grab your bedroll and meet me in my tent." I spoke before I walked off without looking back. I could hear him following from behind, his shoes making a squelching noise as he walked. Which told me he must have been wading in the water. My brown gaze flicked to the darkened ground beneath my feet, a frown etched into my face.

I ignored the curious glances of some of my companions near the fire, slipping into my tent and putting away my little gift before curling up underneath my blankets. It wasn't long until I heard the flap to my tent move and a figure crawl in. It bothered me how Cole could so easily just dismiss himself like that, saying that he didn't matter. He did. To me, anyway. And I'm sure that Varric would have a few choice words to offer if he'd said something like that around him.

When he was just about settled into the bedroll next to mine, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into my arms. Grumbling about how much of an idiot he was, I felt him wrap his arms around me in response. I don't know what it was that was bothering him. Well, I may have a slight idea, but I would give him something that I never got to have in times like this.

I remembered wishing that someone would be there for me. To just listen. To  _care_. Everyone was too scared to say something to hurt me, I was left alone in my thoughts to 'get over it'. I wouldn't let that happen to Cole, because he  _wasn't_  alone. He would never be alone, so long as I had a say in it.

I felt him start to quiver as he squeezed me tighter, burying his face into my chest. No words passed between us. None were needed, as we both slipped off to sleep.

* * *

I awoke the next day with a jolt as someone kicked my foot from outside of my tent. I snorted, opening my eyes blearily and looking up at the offending person.

"Heading out soon." Came the gruff tone of the tanned man from the Chargers. Dimmed light came from behind him and poured into my small tent, telling me that it was dawn. Stitches, I think his name was. I grumbled a response that was incoherent, even to me, and let my head thump back onto the flat pillow that came with the bedroll I was currently on.

I looked down and saw that Cole was still curled up right beside me, his arm rested limply on the slight curve of my waist. Sighing, I ruffled his hair.

"Time to get up." The only response I got was a sleepy grunt as he clutched the back of my shirt. I've never cuddled before, so this was kind of new to me. I could see why people liked it, though. I felt the contentment buzzing around in my chest as he blinked up at me sleepily. He looked cute with his hair all ruffled up, blue eyes unfocused from sleep.

It took awhile, but we eventually untangled ourselves and began to get ready for the day. I rummaged around in my pack, making sure everything was there as I stood next to my horse. My bedroll was strapped to the back of the saddle and the tent was put away, I began to think. Worry.

I was never good with words and couldn't sufficiently comfort people the way most could. I'd never really cared to figure that part about socialization out, finding it far too confusing and not really worth my time. I only learned what I needed to know to 'fit in' and not stand out, really. I hefted myself onto Skittles and felt her shift underneath my weight as she adjusted. I felt inadequate and wished I could do more.

Everyone was relatively quiet as we steered our horses down a trail slowly, their hooves making only light clopping noises. The dirt beneath would get kicked up a little, sending it floating through the fresh morning air. The sun was out and it was completely clear today, making it warmer than it was yesterday. It was welcomed as I stared forward and followed Bull to wherever we were headed.

We didn't get far when Rocky, the dwarven man from Bull's Chargers, came out of the bushes and informed us of a Venatori camp that he'd scouted ahead and saw. We were going to ambush them, so that brings us to the present as we crouched in the bushes a ways away and watched them amble about in their camp. It looked like they were simply scouting the area, only one of them being a warrior.

I was crouched next to Bull, Dorian and Cole as we stared. Well, I glared, feeling hate and rage course through me at seeing them. I still couldn't help how I felt about the group. Not only at what they'd done to me, but when I started to learn about what  _else_  they did … it only proved to strengthen the amount of hate I held for the group.

I pulled out an Antivan Fire grenade and clutched it in my hands as I shook, but felt a hand being placed on top of mine.

"The rage will only make your arrows miss." Cole repeated quietly what Sera had said to me many times before during our sparring sessions. Varric had even said it once. I shut my mouth and began to even out my breathing, not even realizing until now that I had almost been hyperventilating.

I heard a soft discussion at my left between Bull and a few of his Chargers on what they were going to do. We stared, getting ready to ambush them – but never got the chance.

I heard a loud roar as it grumbled through the air, causing my face to turn pale and my body to freeze in place. Everyone crouched lower, seeing two bears lumbering into their camp. Fucking.  _Bears!_

We watched as they ripped through the camp angrily, hearing the Venatori mages and rogues scream as they tried to fend them off. The tents were swiftly torn down by the angry wildlife and they were able to take out  _one_  of the bears. In the end, the only thing left was a bloodied and injured bear while everyone else lay strewn out in the camp, torn apart and dead.

I stared blankly, thinking about how anticlimactic that had been. Peering over, I saw the blank looks of almost everyone else in the party as they saw the sorry state of their enemy's encampment.

The Venatori's plans were, to put it simply, for world domination. They wanted to rule over Thedas and have allied up with a wannabe God. But …. these ones got their plans foiled by the angry wildlife in the Hinterlands. It was quite amusing, now that I think about it. Scoffing, I chucked my Antivan Fire grenade out at the camp and watched as it exploded into a mass of raging fire and engulfed what was left of the tents that were torn apart. Ah, yes, the injured bear died too. I hate bears.

"That was quite excessive, no?" Dorian commented, "Though I will not disagree, I detest the group just as much as you."

"We could have found some valuable information in that camp …" Bull glared down at me with his one eye, but I didn't really see any fire behind it. He wasn't really  _mad_ , but probably a wee bit disappointed, so I sighed.

"Sorry. Sometimes I just … want to make things go –" I wiggled my fingers with a blank expression on my face, " _Boom_."

I got a slap on the back, making me jump in surprise, as I heard someone start to laugh from behind me, "You're not so bad, girlie!" Came the rough voice of Rocky, their demolition's expert.

"Oh no … no  _no_. We don't need another one." Dalish groans, holding her head in her hands as her blonde hair tumbled forward. The pale blonde man, who I think was named Grim, grunted from beside her as he looked over at me.

* * *

Hours later, we sat in the bushes in another location as we overlooked a burning Venatori camp. Smoke rose angrily and billowed into the sky. Some of the men ran away out of the tents as they were on fire and tried to roll around to put it out. I stared passively, pockets now completely empty of Antivan Fire grenades. Screams echoed in the background as my companions looked exasperatedly at me. Well, most. A few of them looked almost _amused_ , but that's beside the point. I may or may not have had five of them when we traveled into the Hinterlands a few days ago.

I also may or may not have done this just to spite Bull.

"Someone really needs to keep those away from you if you can't learn to control yourself, girl." Bull actually sounded a little irritated now. I don't know what's gotten into me today, but I felt like terrorizing the Qunari. I never got to get back at him for being an ass and selling me out to the Ben-Hassrath, so here I am.

"So it's 'girl' now? That hurts, Bull. Right here, where my heart is supposed to be." I put my hand on my chest and frowned. He stood up and stalked over in my direction. I, still crouched, flew into a standing position and looked at him defiantly. The warrior completely dwarfed me as he stood within arms reach with his head held high, so my defiant look probably didn't work on him.

"Shit." I heard Krem say from somewhere in the back, along with some quiet whispers. He wouldn't hurt me, right? No.

I flinched when I saw his huge ass hand come up in my vision as he reached around to my back. I felt him grasp a huge chunk of my sweater as he lifted me off the ground, my feet dangling as I stared up at him with widened brown eyes. You're fucking kidding me, right?! It was like he was just lifting a kitten by the scruff of it's neck, making me hiss and flail. He simply smirked at my failed attempts to wriggle away.

"You will pick 100 Elfroot leaves for Stitches while we're waiting for the others to return." He spoke authoritatively, shaking me side to side. "Got it?"

I glared and crossed my arms, looking over at my friends for help. Dorian looked like he wanted to laugh, but was covering his mouth with his hand as he composed himself. Varric was in a similar state, but did not speak up in my defense. Krem was conveniently averting his gaze with a small smirk as he looked at the underbrush at his right. Cole just sat there with a passive look on his pale face, his hat almost completely covered his expression. Hey! I thought friends were supposed to have eachother's backs! I practically screeched in my head.

The only response I got was a small twitch of Cole's lips, but he didn't say anything.

God damn it.

Sighing, I allowed my body to slump from my position as Bull turned and dropped me next to Stitches. I fell on my ass, feeling like a scolded child and I saw a tanned hand come into view holding out a pouch to me.

"Alright, I kinda deserved that one." I conceded silently, grabbing the pouch and standing up to follow everyone as we made our way to the horses.

It took me  _hours_  to even get remotely close to the number of Elfroot leaves that Bull had asked for. I stayed within screeching distance as I ambled around looking for the damn plant. Did I mention before that I was bad at finding Elfroot? In the game, you could use a blip thing. I had no such luxury here. I'm pretty sure I've said that before, though.

Sighing, I looked at the fat pouch that was strapped to my belt loop at my right. It was full enough, I thought. Though the amount was closer to 70 or 80, not 100. It's not like he will sit down and count them one by one, right? Chuckling, I turned and made my way back to where everyone was waiting just outside of the Crossroads. The horses were tied off, yet again, to a fence as the others simply sat around in the grass and relaxed as they waited.

Blinking in confusion, I saw Lynn and Sera come into view somewhere in the distance just as I stumbled out of the brush near the woods. My boots crunched on the path as I walked over and stopped so that I was away from everyone else. I spotted Cole standing up to walk over to me, I crossed my arms and tilted my head.

"The Iron Bull is not actually angry with you." My friend spoke as he walked up to me, "He can't go … easy on you in front of them. The Chargers. It's to keep respect, leadership."

"I was kind of being an ass anyway." I shrug and see him nod as if agreeing with me. I choked, did Cole just –

"I said some things to The Iron Bull. When you were hurt. I said things I didn't mean because I was angry, scared. He cares, you know. He sometimes wishes he didn't tell them." He spoke softly, grabbing my hand and pulling it toward him as he stared down at it. "The Ben-Hassrath."

"Are you … saying I should forgive him?" I responded after a moment or two, brown eyes downcast. I mean, I wasn't really  _angry_  at him anymore. But part of me still felt a bit put off about it because I'd almost died.

"Yes. Holding onto it hurts you. Hurts him. He can tell." Why must Cole always act as my voice of reason? Sighing I allowed a small smile to slip on my face as I looked up and locked gazes with him. He was right, I could forgive him but that doesn't mean I'll forget what he did to me. Trust cannot be so easily earned back, after all.

"I'll try." I responded and he seemed to brighten, his blue eyes lighting up.

**Third Person**

Lynn and the rest of the party had gone to Redcliffe for a couple of days to finish off a few errands that she left unfinished since her last time in the Hinterlands. They slowly made their way back, with an extra tag-along.

While they were there, they stumbled upon a young Dalish elf who was looking for someone by the name of Angel. Startled, Lynn asked what the girl looked like and he'd explained Lyn's sister to a T. He'd even mentioned that she dressed oddly at times, because she wasn't from around here.

Some of the others didn't seem to trust him, mostly Cassandra, but Lynn decided that he could come back to Skyhold with them to reunite with Angel. Said young elf was walking beside her presently, his big purple eyes alight with hopefulness. Eren had a rather carefree demeanor, albeit a bit irritating at times, as he walked with a prance in his step. His black hair fell passed his shoulders, the left side completely shaved off which was the side his black vallaslin was on.

Lynn watched in her peripheral as Sera twinged Eren's pointed ear, flipping it so that it bounced.

"Ow! Fenedhis, woman! What did I ever do to you?" He whined in his higher pitched voice, looking at her with a frown on his slightly feminine features. Even for an elf, he looked quite delicate and could almost pass as a woman. The Inquisitor chuckled. Sera had been giving the young elf grief ever since he'd tagged along back at Redcliffe.

"You're too elfy, that's what! You even use those words. Use words that make sense!" The blonde elf pushed, causing Eren to grumble under his breath. Sera had quite the distaste for anything Dalish and Lynn almost felt bad for the poor boy.

"Enough, you two. You've been at it since Redcliffe." Cassandra ordered from beside Sera, "It's starting to give me a headache."

"Agreed." Solas spoke, not even bothering with looking over at the two.

"But I'm not –" Eren began, but was cut off.

" _Enough_." The Seeker emphasized in a more stern tone, causing the elf to deflate and slump forward. His lip stuck out in a pout, but otherwise didn't say a thing. The leaves on the tall trees rustled as the wind blew by, it was a clear and beautiful day.

They neared the meeting point and saw the second group already waiting for their return. The Chargers were all sitting around in the grass talking amongst one other. Bull and Varric were walking in Lynn's direction to greet her. Dorian was rummaging around in his pack for something. Lyn and Cole were … holding hands?

The Inquisitor grinned devilishly, seeing the two stare at one another with the same look she's seen Sera give her at times. The wavy haired elf wondered if the two even knew, yet.

"Eugh!" Sera sounded grossed out as she looked at the same scene before them, her round face scrunched up in disgust. The two in question broke out of their daze and looked over at the loud elf at her side. "Why is she so close to it?"

"The same reason why  _we're_  so close?" Lynn smiled at Sera, getting a raised brow from her. The statement slowly sunk in. The blonde archer shook her head furiously, choppy blonde hair flailing about as she tried to get that image out of her head.

"What?! That's gross!" Sera blurted, her hands opening and closing in front of her. The archer did not agree with who Lyn had chosen, finding it dangerous and creepy. It just wasn't natural!

"Love you too, Sera."

"N-No. Not. Not  _us_.  _Them!_ "

**First Person**

We had to make camp that night, seeing as how we were only about halfway to Skyhold by the time it got dark. As we neared the mountains, the snow on the ground began to get thicker and thicker. It was much colder now and I could see my breath every time I exhaled. A rather large fire was built in the middle of our small encampment as we sat around to warm up. I looked up and saw that it was clear out, the stars twinkling in the distance.

I stared for awhile, remembering some of the things I'd learned back home about them. How distant they actually were and how vast the universe was. It made me feel rather small, actually. Every time I stared at the stars I got the same feeling. It was humbling, but still fascinating all the same.

Looking to my right, I saw Cole sitting on the snowy ground beside me. Our layers helped with staying warm as we sat in front of the fire.

"What do you see when you look at the stars, Cole?" I asked, genuinely curious on his interpretation of them. I watched as he peered up at the sky and tilted his head, blonde hair falling to the side so I could see his curious gaze. He was quiet for awhile and I let my eyes slowly trace his features. My hand twitched and I got the urge to draw again, the sky as the backdrop and the way the light from the fire lit up his face. It was quite the sight.

"They are so far away … some of them are gone. Burning bright, like the sun but distant. The light is warm and takes longer to get here." I smiled at him as he spoke, "There are so many of them."

"The universe is a vast place. It is inconceivable even to the people in my world." I sighed, leaning back and falling into the fluffy snow as I stared. I could hear the dull hum of quiet conversation between the others across the fire. "The stars are very much like the sun. Though ours is considerably smaller than most."

"Some of their songs are older than the rest, bigger. Brighter." Cole fiddled with the hem of his jacket, his blue gaze flicking down and over to me as I lay on the ground beside him. Silently I wondered if perhaps I wasn't simply thrown into a different universe, just to another world across the galaxies. Snorting, I sat up and shook my head. Thinking about it would just give me a headache and I didn't really want to know, anyhow. Too confusing.

When I looked over, Cole seemed to give me a look but otherwise didn't say anything.

"Here I thought it was confusing when the Kid and Chuckles talked." Varric was not far away as he sat in front of the fire with a small journal and a quill.

"You were able to comprehend the entirety of Cole's analysis of the stars?" Solas sounded intrigued, though bordering disbelief, his face showed none of it. I swear, that man needs to smile more. I was also a bit surprised he was even having a civil conversation with me. Well, if one could even call this a conversation in the first place.

"What do you want, an Astronomy lesson? They've accomplished much from my world and it would take … a very long time for me to explain what I know." I scratched my head, not realizing how arrogant I sounded. I was honestly thinking about the possibility of writing a book or drawing some diagrams. "I could sketch some things, but that seems like too much work. I don't know the minute details, but its fascinating."

Bah. I'd be called a  _lunatic,_ it's not worth the trouble. I bet the people here still thought the sun revolved around the planet. I chuckled underneath my breath.

"I admit, I find myself curious about this other world you speak of." The bald elf answered, hands folded in his lap as he looked away and into the fire.

"Yeah yeah. A thirst for knowledge, seems like you. If I ever find a way home, I should throw some texts back through for you." I paused for a moment, "If at all possible, that is. I don't even know how the hell I got here."

"I still find it hard to believe …" Varric seemed to have put his quill away, only holding his journal now.

"She's not lying." Cole offered in my defense, "Sometimes I can see flashes. Memories of tall buildings. Metal carts that drive with no horses and paintings that move."

"Is that why you stare at me a lot? I bet they are quite interesting, yes?" I rocked back and forth with my legs crossed and looked up at him, referring to my memories of home. Thinking about it still made me a bit sad, since I missed it at times. But now I just don't think about it at all, having given up on the idea of even returning.

"They're harder to see, like trying to see through muddy water. I reach out, but that only makes it worse. Kicking up the dirt, cloudy, murky. I have to wait until they surface."

"I bet that's not the only reason you stare at her, though." Varric muttered, just loud enough for me to hear. I snapped my attention to him and squinted, feeling my face heat up.

"So, what are you writing?" I quickly steer the conversation away from me, pointing at the small book in his lap.

"Oh, you know. Just ideas for my new book about the shit the Inquisition has gone through. The Inquisitor said it was alright." Varric shrugged, running his stubby finger over the binder almost lovingly. I tilted my head, thinking that it was actually a good idea to write down the things that the Inquisition is doing. Didn't he do the same thing for the Champion of Kirkwall?

I knew little about writing, only that it was difficult. I'd tried to write a few fanfictions back home, but never anything serious. I did, however, like to read. Reading was a great pastime and with the right book, it could be quite enlightening. I read one of Varric's books once and he was a pretty good writer. Though I'd never tell him that.

"I mean, think about it. The Inquisitor gets into all kinds of trouble; falling through a rift and surviving the Conclave, learns she can close said rifts, falls into the Fade  _physically_. And we haven't even defeated Corypheus yet." The dwarf continued, his hands gesturing in front of him to emphasize his point.

"Well, if put like that … Yeah." I responded slowly, realizing that the voices I heard speaking before were now mostly quiet as they stared at Varric as he spoke. He seemed to have a knack for that, getting people's attention and telling stories that enthralled them.

"I'm not even sure if the readers will believe half the shit I write about." He pauses and looks around the camp, "Oh! Not to mention the romance found along the way. The people love a good romance."

I groan, wondering how that could even be remotely interesting to people reading the book. I wouldn't mind reading the parts where the Inquisitor is in peril and the battles along the way. But romance had never appealed to me, no matter how much my sister tried to shove it in my face back home.

I half listened as he continued to talk about how the Inquisitor found love with Sera and how odd of a couple they were. Then there was Blackwall and Josephine, though the two of them were not together. The Warden seemed to prefer to pine in silence, offering small gestures of affection from time to time.

"Then there is Bull and Dorian. Two worlds tearing them apart, Tevinter and Qunari, with only love to keep them together." Varric spoke dramatically, hand over his heart with a wide smirk on his face.

"Could you make it sound angrier? Love is a bit soft." Bull spoke up from not far away as he eyed the dwarf interestedly. Dorian, however, did not look at all amused that their personal lives would be put into a book for all to see.

"Please stop helping the dwarf." Dorian sounded exasperated as he looked over at us. A few of the other's chuckled at his expense.

"How about  _passion_?" Varric threw out a different word, getting an approving nod from the Qunari.

"Yeah, that's better. Love is all starlight and gentle blushes." Bull motioned toward me with his huge hand and I narrowed my brown eyes at him.

"Why the hell are you pointing at me?!" I practically screech, but was promptly ignored.

"Passion leaves your fingers sore from clawing the sheets." He practically growled out, continuing as if I hadn't even spoken. I felt my face turn pink at the implications, fighting to keep an image from forming in my head.

"Ah! Let's not forget the oddest couple of them all." Varric added swiftly, as if just remembering. Oh my – fuck. Here we go. I had a tingling sense for the incoming shitstorm. "The surly woman from another world, who has a soft spot for-"

"Shut up, Varric!" I cut him off, hoping that he wouldn't continue. "I'm  _not_  soft."

"Innocent spirit boys?" Dorian offers helpfully, completely throwing me under the bus. I felt my face turn a shade darker, hearing Sera make a disgusted noise in response from my right. She was sitting next to Lynn, who was observing all of us curiously as we spoke. Vivienne was across the fire and I couldn't really see her, but I saw enough to decipher that she was eying me warily. Blackwall had his eyes closed and his arms crossed, but I could tell he was listening.

"She didn't even deny it!" Sera protested, the fire illuminating the disgusted expression on her face. Her eyebrows and nose both scrunched up in distaste as she looked at Cole. I frowned, but otherwise didn't speak up. Why should I? It wouldn't really matter.

"It's quite obvious the two are close. I mean, they  _do_  share a tent." Dorian drawled, threading his fingers together as he glanced back at me. Or rather Cole and I. I knew that he was fascinated by him and the  _possibility_  (I was still not even sure, so I won't make assumptions here.) of him having an attachment to me that went beyond friendship. I blushed and looked away, trying not to think about it.

"Is that bad?" Cole asks, tilting his head to the side as he looked over at Dorian then back at me as if he heard my inner turmoil. I sincerely hoped he didn't hear me. He would, no doubt, ask questions later if that were the case. The thought of trying to explain to him the depths of my feelings kind of terrified me, to be honest.

"No, they're just being idiots." I grumbled to my friend quietly.

"But I like cuddling, it makes me feel warm. Content." I let out a nervous squeak when he said that, pretty much announcing it to the camp. I heard someone choke, but I was unsure of who because I refused to look up at the group. I bowed my head to allow my messy waves to cover my face, which was now likely completely red from his declaration.

Peeking up, I saw Solas looking at us with a troubled expression on his face. He also seemed a bit irritated at me as he flicked his gaze in my direction. I frown and look back down at the snow beneath me.

"You don't feel any adverse changes, Cole?" I heard the elf ask, sounding a bit concerned for his welfare.

"No. Should I?"

Sera squawked in horror and Bull boomed with laughter alongside a smirking Dorian. I lifted my head and stuttered out,

"I-It's not-" But I was cut off as Sera and Vivienne's simultaneous protests drowned out my voice.

"She cuddles with it! That's frigging gross!"

"You really shouldn't encourage that thing, my dear." Vivienne put in as she stared at me disapprovingly.

"Like that!" I finally finished after hearing their collective voices. Son of a bitch, this couldn't get any worse. I felt a surge of irritation at the both of them for referring to him as a 'thing' and an 'it'. I let out a growl, wanting to tear into someone's face with my fingernails. Though I was unsure which one, at this point.

"Solas is not a thing!" Cole sounded genuinely offended as he looked over at the tanned mage.

"Well said." Solas sounded almost amused, though I could see the lingering irritation underneath his eyes.

Averting my attention, I saw Bull's Chargers and the little elf mage that we'd taken in somewhere in the background conversing quietly with one another. I focused on them, trying to put my mind on something else. It was quite obvious most of the companions disapproved with how close I was with Cole. I hadn't heard a word from Cassandra, though, as she sat quietly somewhere in the back and simply pretended she wasn't hearing anything. The same went for Lynn, as she observed from the sidelines. For that, I was grateful.

The only ones that were accepting were Varric, Bull and Dorian as they seemed to poke fun. It was like they enjoyed getting that reaction out of me.

At this revelation, I made a tactical retreat to my tent while mumbling for them to get me when it was my turn for watch.


	22. Intermission

"So, Eren. You are Dalish, why are you not with your clan?" Solas asked of the young elf, who was walking beside us with a bow strapped to his back. There was also a staff, which told me that he wasn't purely a magic user. Both elves seemed to use said staffs as walking sticks as we made our way down the path. Eren looked over at the older elf and replied in a dainty voice.

"Don't have one." Eren smiled, "After I got my vallaslin, I started to show magical talents and was thus abandoned in the wilderness. Wonderful family, yeah?" He sounded oddly chipper for a person admitting they'd been left alone to die in the woods. Though it was almost undetectable, I did notice a little bit of bitterness made its way into his tone when he spoke that last sentence. I frowned when I looked over at him. Guess he's one of  _those_ people? Covering up their pain with smiles and laughs.

Hmmmm, so he was a late bloomer huh? I didn't know that it was possible that it could happen like that. Magical talents, that is. I always thought that mages were always born with their magic and able to use it as such, but I was wrong. I still had a lot to learn about this world.

It was rather interesting, how the magic worked in this world. Magic, in general, was as fascinating as it was dangerous. I knew about the possibility of possession and all the like, but couldn't help the excitement I felt whenever I saw someone cast a spell. It was … beautiful. All dangerous and destructive things in nature are actually quite beautiful, though. I knew this.

"My condolences." Solas offered with a solemn bow of his head. Eren waved him off, a smile still on his face as he gave the bald elf a wink.

"Doesn't matter. I found my place in this world on my own, I don't need a clan to do it for me."

"So you don't care what those piss-pants have to say? Yer not so bad after all." Sera let out a giggle after she spoke and I looked away. I was still a little upset about what happened the night before and had distanced myself from the group as a result. Which was why I was kind of lingering around the back and just listening to them talk.

"I never said that, Da'len." He replied slowly, having given her some odd title that I couldn't understand. "The Dalish are rather closed minded, I admit, but that does not mean I care for them any less." Eren didn't seem to hold a grudge on Sera for being so belligerent toward him the whole way back. In fact, he seemed to almost treat her like a child as he spoke in a calming voice. Blinking, I shook my head to clear my vision at the sight of Solas' lips twitching in what seemed to be amusement.

"Pppbbbtthhh." Sera stuck out her tongue at him and turned away. Eren was still smiling as he ruffled the blonde elf's hair affectionately, only to get his hand slapped away as she scooted out of reaching distance.

"Alone and unwanted. Throw away the old name and start anew." Cole spoke from beside me, gaining the attention of a few of the people ahead. Eren, in particular, who looked a little perturbed. His purple eyes seemed to flicker with pain for a second before it was completely gone. Like it was never there.

"Yeah … about that." Eren's face faltered, "Can you  _not_  do that?"

Cole had been making comments here and there, as per usual. But it wasn't until now that he directed said comments about Eren. The elf mage seemed almost a little disturbed about what he could do, treading cautiously around the spirit like he would jump out and bite him.

Our feet crunched on the thin layer of new snow that had formed on the ground as we made our way into the mountains where Skyhold was located. I exhaled, seeing a white mist form in front of my face as I stared at the group in front of me. Eren was beside Solas, as the two had been talking about some magey stuff that I could not understand. Dorian had put a comment in here and there and it all seemed to just fly over my head.  _Nerds_. The rest of the group trudged on, unaware of the small conversation happening in the back.

After a few beats of silence, Cole finally began to speak again. He tried to reassure the young elf, "But you're not alone. Not unwanted. You have  _her_."

"Look, I have no idea what you are but I'd appreciate it if you stopped doing that … thing you do."

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to help."

When Eren looked away, I could tell that his posture seemed to straighten a little as he peered off into the distance where Skyhold was. I'm going to go ahead and assume that this 'her' Cole spoke of was my sister. It was no secret to me that Angel had been incredibly close to the mage before we found her. She, dare I say, almost seemed broken up over the thought that she may never see him again.

We were ambling up to Skyhold's gates when I started to ponder the situation further. I knew that my sister was rather close to him, so I'd been observing him closely whenever I could. He didn't seem to have any ulterior motives, but I couldn't be completely sure. Until I was, I'd keep an eye on him closely. The last thing I needed was my sister getting hurt again.

I vowed that once I discover the nature of their relationship and get a good feel on what kind of person he was … I'd have a little  _talk_  with him.

**Third Person**

Cole stood down in the lower courtyard next to Lyn and Eren as they waited for Angel to come down from her workplace (The kitchens). Someone had been sent up there to get her so that she could come meet her friend. A few of the others opted to stay as well, which consisted of only Solas and Lynn. The others had trudged on, intent on relaxing after the long journey. He could practically hear the curiosity vibrating off of the two elves as they stared at the young elf mage.

The blonde rogue scooted a little closer to Lyn, looking down at her to get a better read on her. She seemed interested as well, but knew something that they did not. She was apprehensive, unsure. He knew that his friend did not trust people so easily and saw her giving Eren looks since they'd been traveling with him. Cole brushed his fingers over hers, offering some kind of comfort. It worked, because her posture seemed to loosen as she leaned closer to him. Her thoughts a little less muddled, less anxious.

Something had changed about his friend these passed few days. Ever since that night out by the pond, when he'd been wallowing in his fears and self doubts. Lyn had found her way to him and consoled him without question. Even when he tried to brush it off and try to worm his way around it, she was persistent.

Always with the persistence, stubbornness, being hardheaded. Though he did not think those to be bad traits, just parts of her.

The cuddling had been unexpected. Not in a bad way, either and was almost disappointed when they didn't again the next night. Though, they had still shared the same tent and slept side by side. Well, she slept but he didn't. Cole found that he didn't have to sleep as often as most people did.

His body did not require sleep every night, yet. He found that sometimes his stomach would make odd noises and it would pain him. Hunger, Varric had told him. He knew what it felt like to be tired, Lyn had helped him with that. His change brought a lot of new and difficult things to him that he had yet to get used to.

Being human was … hard. But it also let him learn, let him grow. Cole liked that part. He also liked the array of thoughts and emotions that seemed to come with it. Spirits were different – they just  _were_. Before he had been almost stuck in-between, things were much simpler then. Now the world was so much more vivid, so bright and brilliant. So …  _real_. Yet at the same time it was so silent, nothing but whispers of what once was. At first it had pained him, all the new sensations (And lack thereof). The rogue was slowly adjusting. Adapting.

Soon enough, Angel came trotting down the stairs as fast as she could. Eren was practically vibrating with excitement as he met her halfway through the lower courtyard and pulled her into his arms enthusiastically. The small group of friends slowly made their way up to the couple as Angel practically latched onto Eren like he would disappear any second.

Now that they stood closer to the couple as they embraced, Cole could tell that they were like the Inquisitor and Sera. Their relationship, that is. They clung to each other as the young elf rubbed her back and whispered things to her that even he could not hear. They were relieved, content.

When couples were together they seemed to shine brighter, songs delicate – stirring and more alive. It was a marvelous sound and it almost made Cole feel a little sad that no one else seemed to hear it.

"They are happy." Cole spoke finally from beside Lyn and the others as they watched the joyful reunion. "Their songs were muted and dulled, before. But when they're together like this, it's so vivid. Away too much, longing for one another. Reaching out."

"I'm glad they were able to find the boy." Lyn agreed quietly, her arms crossed as she stared at them with a small smile on her face. Even though she did not trust the Dalish elf, she was happy for her sister.

"Ma vhenan." Eren said softly as he held the teen, his fingers running through her wavy black hair. Angel's song seemed to flit around, brightening and trembling as he did so. Cole tilted his head, watching as her eyes started to water, tears slipping down her face. Happy tears. "I looked everywhere for you."

Cole didn't notice the way Solas seemed to recoil slightly at the sight of a human and an elf being so close. The Inquisitor was intrigued and a bit disturbed, but didn't say anything.

"Eren …" Angel's voice wavered, holding onto him tightly. "I-I thought... I."

"Shhh." He pulled her away and silenced her with a soft kiss before allowing her to bury her head into his chest again. He'd seen people do that a lot, but had never found any interest in it. Not until recently, that is, as he thought about what it might be like to do the same to Lyn. How would she react, he wondered? He peered down at her, seeing that her face had turned pink as she looked away from the intimate scene before them.

Lyn looked up at Cole hesitantly, feeling his gaze on her. He saw as her widened brown eyes seemed to flick to his mouth, thoughts jumbled and confused. Curious about what it would feel like. Or were those his own thoughts? He didn't know, but his heart thrilled at the idea. Before he could open his mouth and blurt anything out, Lyn spoke up.

"A-Ah... H-horses. Heh. Horses need tending to!" She rattled out swiftly, face flushed and eyes looking around nervously. When he tried to concentrate on her, her mind was filled with thoughts of the horses – saddles, bridles, brushing them. She forced things in her mind as she scuttled away off toward the barn, leaving Cole feeling almost disappointed.

Was there a certain way he was supposed to go about this?

* * *

Which brought him to his current predicament as he stood in front of Varric nervously inside of the Herald's Rest, hands fiddling with the hems of his patchy long-sleeved shirt. He'd just gone out and blurted it, causing the dwarf to drop his quill and spill ink all over the table in front of him. He cursed and started to wipe everything up to put it away. His journal, thankfully, was not damaged.

"Wait wait wait." Varric finally spoke, his voice slowly lowering and getting quieter. "Y-you want to  _what?_ "

He sounded like he couldn't believe what he had just heard. Cole opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the dwarf as he continued.

"Are you guys even an item, yet?"

"Item? Lyn is not an  _item_ , Varric." Cole sounded almost offended as he looked down at the dwarf with scrunched eyebrows, but only got a chuckle in response.

"No no. It's a figure of speech, Kid. I didn't mean it like that." Ah, those. He never really could understand them and intended to ask at some point, but his thoughts were currently on one thing at the moment. The blonde rogue nodded, waiting for him to continue. "You have to wait for the right moment. Women like that kinda crap. The romance, the –"

"Lyn  _hates_  romance novels. She got angry at Angel for trying to … confuse me."

"Well, shit." Varric put in eloquently, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Always knew she was different, but … hey!" He snapped his fingers and pointed at the ceiling, something seemed to have dawned on him. "Her and Cassandra are kind of the same, don't you think?"

"Brash, hardheaded.  _'Got to get the work done, can't slack.'_  Yes. They are the same sometimes." Cole agreed, kind of. They were also different, though. "But Cassandra does not make me bright, happy. Heart stutters – chest warm like the sun on a clear summers day."

"Who's thoughts were  _those_?" Varric sounded intrigued at that last sentence, tilting his head up at the lanky boy. He seemed to have forgotten what he was about to say. Cole peered down at him through a mop of hair and replied softly,

"Mine."

"Damn, you have it bad." Varric chuckled as he spoke. The dwarf's thoughts were carefully guarded, as if he didn't want him to hear. He'd never done that before, why was he doing it now? "Alright, these kinds of things are normal."

"Hmmm, yes. Quite." They heard Dorian as he strutted up to the table, a skip in his step. Varric raised his eyebrow, wondering what he was doing in the tavern this late- Nevermind. He saw Bull sitting smugly over at the table with the Chargers, looking like the cat that just got the cream. "Tell you what, Cole. You ever need advice on how to correctly pursue a lady, I'm here for you. A dashing man such as myself has plenty of experience to offer."

Varric shook his head at his offer, closing his eyes with a grin on his face. "Did you not hear him? The Kid just said that she doesn't like that romantic crap, you'll end up getting him stabbed or incinerated."

"Nonsense! Even the most boorish of women have a tender spot for someone. A few lessons from me and he'll have her purring in his lap in no time." The Tevinter waved his hands enthusiastically, completely confident in his words. Varric paled at the idea, about to object before someone else butted into the conversation.

"Yeah, Varric. You think she'd stab or incinerate Cole? That's a bit harsh." Angel popped out of nowhere her black hair was up in a ponytail as it bounced to the side when she tilted her head, holding a plate full of food that he'd ordered. The dwarf blinked, seeing her set it in front of him gently. The teen stood up straight, putting her hands behind her back and smiled at the three innocently. She spoke in a peppy tone, "It would  _only_  be minor disfigurement."

_Only?_

This was why the tavern was never a good place to try and have a private conversation. They were slowly starting to create a small group discussion, when it had originally been something between only Varric and Cole.

The scraggly rogue in question was simply standing there watching them as they spoke, his head tilted slightly to the side. Varric tore into some pheasant, looking up at the three. He silently vowed to have a talk with Dorian about what he was going to teach the poor Kid. He didn't want him accidentally trying to seduce Lyn. That would … not turn out well. His writing supplies were sitting quietly beside him on a stool as he chewed silently.

"Out of sheer curiosity, have you had any other odd thoughts or … urges, Cole?" Dorian put his hand up to his face as he thoughtfully fingered his curled mustache, looking over at the awkward young man. The metal embellishments on the Tevinter's stylish outfit glinted from the torchlight nearby. "A purely academic question, I swear."

Angel made an uncomfortable sounding squeak, as if just remembering something. Her brown eyes were wide as she stared up at the two of them and she slowly began to back up. Cole looked between the teen and the mage with wide blue eyes.

"No." He looked at Angel, "Yes.  _Maybe_?" The rogue began to fiddle around with the hems of his sleeves as he averted his gaze with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Maybe?"

"Angel said it was normal." Cole spoke quietly, "I sometimes wonder what Lyn looks like underneath her clothes."

"W-What did I tell you about saying those things out loud?!" Angel practically squawked, turning a deep shade of red as she looked away. The teen felt second-hand embarrassment for the poor guy. Dorian looked like he was about to burst into peals of laughter before he was interrupted by some distressed sounding coughs. Varric started pounding on the table, his eyes almost bulging as he held his neck with one of his hands. The only thing the other three could do was stare at him in shock, unmoving.

His face turned purple.

"Mother of –" Someone shouted from the doorway and the sounds of fast paced footsteps could be heard before they saw Lyn grab Varric out of his seat and promptly began to do the Heimlich maneuver on him. The woman had to do a few thrusts with her arms before a rather large piece of pheasant came flying out of his mouth.

The dwarf wheezed, both hands clasping on the worn out gray table in front of him so hard that his knuckles turned white. Lyn stared at the offending piece of meat that was now sitting in the middle of the table with an annoyed look in her eyes.

"You know, Varric. Usually people  _chew_  their food before they swallow it." She drawled, not at all amused by what had just happened.

"S-Shit." He was finally able to say between his breaths. "Sorry, got a little … surprised, there." Lyn raised her eyebrow in question, looking at the other three as they stood silently. Angel's tanned complexion was pale as she stared down worriedly at the dwarf. Dorian was shocked to silence and Cole was frowning with a guilty look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Varric." The spirit spoke, "I didn't mean to  _scare_  you."

"What, dare I ask, did you even say to  _scare_  him?" Lyn sounded unsure if she even wanted to know as she peered up at Cole through her messy waves, but asked anyway. She'd walked in right when Varric started to pound on the table erratically, almost choking to death on some pheasant. What had caused him to choke, she wondered?

"I was asking for advice. Because sometimes I-" Cole couldn't continue as Varric lunged forward and covered the rogue's mouth with his chubby hand. Three voices spoke up simultaneously,

"No!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Not wise."

Lyn's stare turned flat as she took in the scene before her, the three of them looked almost panicked as they stared at the scraggly rogue. Poor Cole seemed confused and a little scared at the close proximity of so many people. Angel, Varric and Dorian looked over at Lyn with unconvincing smiles. Cole twitched and looked like he wanted to run, because they were pretty much squished up against him as if trying to prevent him from doing something.

"What did I tell you about blurting ideas for my book, Kid?" Varric lied, looking back up at him and giving him a look that said  _'not a word'_. Lyn didn't look like she believed any of it.

"Yeah … I'll just … be over here." She lifted her hand cautiously and stepped away from the four. The woman shook her head and muttered something underneath her breath that no one could hear. They sighed in relief once she was on the other side of the tavern.

"Alright, we're going to have to have a little talk." Varric spoke quietly, looking up at Cole. Dorian seemed to agree, an amused grin plastered on his face.

"I'd say."

**First Person**

I started training again a few days later after everyone had a sufficient enough time to rest from our excursion in the Hinterlands. I stood in front of Sera who was scowling at me, but didn't say anything otherwise. The small disagreement at camp on our way back to Skyhold popped into my mind. She hadn't directly confronted me on her dislike of Cole, yet, but I certainly hoped she didn't snap on me. Or worse, try to revoke our friendship. She wouldn't do that, right? I silently fretted as she sighed,

"Alright, next thing will be teaching your arse about caltrops and poisons." The blonde elf tossed a pouch at me, which looked like it could clip onto a belt. "I did ya a favor and got some, since yer payin for your armor already."

Sera picked at her ear with her pinky finger, a nonchalant expression on her face as we stood outside. It was evening, the sky painted with hues of orange and red. The sun glinted off of the rogue's blonde hair, making it look more vibrant than usual. I grunted, looking down at my elf friend.

"Thank you, Sera. But how will I be able to pay you back?" I rose a brow, opening the pouch and seeing that it was fully stocked. This must have cost a buttload of coin because it was filled with a multitude of caltrops and a few vials of what I assumed was poison. "How much was this?"

"Blegh! Ya don't need ta pay me back." The blonde elf waved off like it was nothing, causing me to blink slowly. I'm sure this was her way of giving me a gift, but couldn't help feeling a bit bad for just taking it from her.

"Seriously." I drawled, "I'd feel bad for taking this without giving something in return."

"She's a stubborn one, ain't she?" I heard Blackwall comment from just behind me, causing me to raise a brow and look his direction curiously. He'd walked up into the training area from the direction of the stairs that lead to the lower courtyard. We were standing in the upper courtyard in the training area, Cassandra not far away training on a dummy. The faint slashes and thuds in the background were drowned out by our current conversation.

"Stubborn arse." Sera agreed and laughed. I gave them both a flat stare. It's not my fault, it was how I was raised I guess. Makes it kind of hard for me to take things without giving something back in return, otherwise it's almost like I'm a freeloader. And I am most certainly  _not_  a freeloader. "If you insist, maybe we can have some drinks sometime."

I groan, not even liking the idea of drinking ale. Any type of alcohol and she knows that, too. But …

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you something Lyn." Blackwall spoke up, crossing his burly arms. Raising a brow, I crossed my arms as well and tilted my head in question.

"Ask away, Warden." I addressed blandly as I strapped my newly acquired pouch to my belt loop, curious about what he would even want to talk to me about. Blackwall and I never really conversed at all, to be honest. The thought that he even wanted to speak to me out of the blue like this interested me a little.

"What is the nature of your relationship with that … with Cole?" I heard the Warden ask curiously, causing me to snap my eyes in his direction with a frown. He'd had to correct himself, which lead me to believe he was probably going to say something that would offend me. Potentially.

"Oh for- Really?  _This_  again?" I almost whined, but kept my tone as even as possible. Or, tried to. I had been wondering when Sera would bring this up, but it hadn't occurred to me that anyone else would. Well, besides Vivienne or Solas. I avoided the Orlesian mage like the plague, though, so I certainly hoped we didn't have a confrontation. Solas, on the other hand, had yet to speak to me about anything. He was an assbutt, but at least he was tolerable.

"It's just natural to be curious. Sera and I have been wondering, isn't that right Sera?"

Sera scoffed, looking a bit miffed that she'd been outed. "Yeah, whatever."

"We're friends." Was my simple reply as I crossed my arms again. It wasn't a lie. They didn't need to know the extent of my feelings for the spirit and I fully intended to keep it that way.

"You cuddled with it!" Sera's eyes flew open, looking at me with a snarl on her face. " _'We're friends'_  she says. I bet that ain't the only thing you did with it." The blonde elf sounded like she was getting a bit worked up as she flailed her hands to emphasize her point. My face flushed in embarrassment. Was this seriously how they saw me? I notice someone I'm interested in and 'BAM' we're bedding each other? That's bullshit.

I looked up at Blackwall and saw him nodding slowly, eyes closed.  _They were serious._

"You think I'm –" I choked back a laugh. Though I felt no amusement, I could feel irritation starting to worm its way into me as I stood there in front of the two. "Even if it were true, I don't see how that would be any of your business. You don't hear me complaining about how you and Lynn get all jiggy with it in your bedroom!"

"That thing ain't natural, it's different! It could – It."

"Cole's dangerous. Unpredictable. We aren't even sure what he is. Don't know what he might do. I wouldn't turn my back on him." Blackwall defended Sera, getting a furious nod out of her. I felt my gaze turn flat as I stared at them with a deadpan look on my face, rage starting to boil over underneath. Everyone's been jumping to conclusions, which hasn't been working in my favor (might I add).

"If we're going to talk about things that aren't natural, what about  _me?_ " I spread my arms out, trying to keep my face from showing just how angry I felt but was starting to fail. "I'm not even  _from_  here, let alone this God damn planet and you're friends with me just fine!"

"But you're a person. It's not even human!" I hissed at Sera's rebuttal, my face morphing into that of rage. I didn't even attempt to hide it now, seeing Blackwall take a small step back in my peripheral. Sera stood straight, solid on her statement about him.

"Yet he maintains more humanity than most people I've ever met." I bit back, pointing at her with a shaking hand. "Cole used to be  _different_ , I admit. He did things he regrets today, but he's  _changed_. You can't honestly tell me that people can't see their wrongdoings and transform themselves for the better. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do that and if I'm the only one that can see it, then so be it!" I could feel my nostrils flaring as I looked at her with fiery brown eyes. Sera was oddly quiet after that, as if she was thinking about something to say in return. Her jaw was tensed as blue eyes glared at me defiantly.

"Do you really believe that?" Blackwall sounded like he didn't want to believe me. I snapped my gaze in his direction, expecting to see him looking at me with a disappointed look on his face. Instead I took in his slumped form as he peered down at me almost sadly.

"Most don't have the courage to admit they were wrong, that they needed to change. They don't even attempt to right their mistakes. But even fewer people actively try to rebuild themselves and become a better person." I responded, my body still shaking from the overflow of emotions that had coursed through me just seconds ago. I looked over at Sera, "He's my friend, just like you are. You don't have to agree with our friendship. You don't have to agree with anything. It's not like I'm asking  _you_  to cuddle with him, Sera."

"I'm just scared, okay! I frigging admit it, there! Y-you put up with my shite and never tried to push me away 'cause I was annoying or whatever." Sera shook her head and looked away at the ground with grief written on her features, making me pause. "We give each other hell one minute but hang out the next like nothin' even happened! Yer like my sister, ya know? And I ain't gonna let you get killed by that … that thing!"

I didn't even know how to respond to that, to be completely honest. She really thought of me as her sister? My body seemed to unwind a little after that, seeing her look back at me with a disapproving frown. Blackwall had gone oddly silent after my little tirade, but still remained where he was.

"You don't have to like my decisions, Sera. You trust me, right?" She seemed to nod slowly at my question, "Well, trust that I know he won't kill me. I'll be fine."

"I'm shootin' his scrawny arse full of arrows if he does, yeah? I won't hesitate!" The blonde elf marched off toward the tavern, officially calling the training session to an end. I sighed, shoulders slumping. I knew that she would never learn to accept him or like him in any way, but I suppose this was better than what  _could_  have happened.

"I wouldn't stop you." I heard Cole's even voice from right behind me, making me jump a little in surprise. Sera ignored him and shut the door to the building and Blackwall nodded before leaving without another word.

"I-I … ahh, didn't see you there." I stuttered as I turned around to face him, feeling nervous all of a sudden.

"You trust me." Cole breathed, as if he just now found out. I tilted my head, how hadn't he known that? "I knew already, but hearing it out loud made it real." He sounded happy and I saw his lips twitch into a ghost of a smile. It was faint, but I could see it. Most would not be able to see the minute changes in his features or the slight difference in tone when he spoke. Which was largely why they thought he was so creepy. He was hard to read. But so was I. We've been around each other enough to where I could determine them as such. I mean, it's not like I stared at him all the time. (Denialdenialdenial)

"Of course I do. I'd be an idiot not to." I grinned, walking by and nudging him on the shoulder. Since training was over with, I fully intended on using the rest of my time being as lazy as possible down on my makeshift bed. Because, no doubt, Sera would be pushing me harder as the weeks went on. It was going to be an experience.

The next week or so was spent just like that. I would work in the stables and when Sera was actually back from whatever stuff she had to do with the Inquisitor, she was teaching me new things. When she wasn't there, I would practice myself.

I often times would observe my sister and her boyfriend from a distance in the taverns at night, still unsure of how I felt about the Dalish elf. Don't blame me, I was kind of overprotective. Eren didn't seem that bad, but I've been wrong before.

There was also the fact that Cole seemed to come find me whenever I had time off, eager to spend time together. Don't get me wrong, I was the same way. Sometimes we'd just sit in the barn loft and talk. Or sometimes we'd even just sit together somewhere and watch people as they milled about Skyhold doing their business. People watching was, and still is, one of my favorite pastimes. Call me weird if you'd like, it's just something I did. (That's toootally not why I was trying to become a police officer, I swear. To get paid to watch people, that is.)

Our behavior seemed to bring even more odd looks from some of the people of Skyhold, however, seeing the odd young man practically cling to me like a lost puppy. Others thought it was creepy, I could hear their whispers. Which only served to enrage me at times, but I stuffed it away for later. I'd deal with my anger during sparring sessions with Krem, who had no problem with throwing me around a bit. I thought Cole's behavior was rather endearing, actually. He was like the perfect combination between unsettling and adorable. I giggled quietly underneath my breath at the thought.

I paused my work and stared blankly at the wall. I needed to stop giggling. I really did. It was starting to creep me out.

I was just finishing up with my work down at the stables that night as I checked the stalls to make sure they were locked. I sighed, making my trek out into the barn and intended to head up to the loft to get cleaned up so that I could attend the sentencing of Blackwall this evening.

Yeah, he'd gone missing four days ago leaving only a note that an Inquisition messenger found. The Inquisitor had quickly gathered a small party and went to Val Royeaux to investigate herself.

As it turned out, Blackwall wasn't actually Blackwall. He had been living under a false identity this whole time and his name was actually Thom Rainier. A man who was wanted for ordering his men to kill a family, including children. I still didn't know all the details, but it didn't sound promising. This came as a surprise to me and it seemed to almost make sense, considering his behavior about a week ago.

Since that time when Sera, Blackwall and I had that small disagreement I'd been thinking about his reaction to my little speech. It seems he had been trying to make up for his past mistakes, though not in a way that is recommended (might I add). As cowardly as he was with his actions,  _he tried._  Most don't. Even if part of the reason was to hide from his past and try to forget what he once was.

I sympathized a little, I suppose. Sure, he deceived us all, but I didn't get my panties in a twist over it. Unlike most of the others had, because they seemed pretty bothered about it. We'd hardly knew each other, so my opinion was not quite as biased as everyone else's. I didn't have feelings of betrayal to cloud my judgment, so I didn't exactly hate him for what he did. Though I didn't really like him, either. But I do know that I doubt I'd ever actually trust him, myself.

I entered the Skyhold main hall, immediately noticing the temperature difference from what it was outside. It was rather chilly today and the inside of the stone building was a huge relief as I ambled my way over to where I saw Angel and Eren sitting. They were laughing amongst one another, sipping tea with – Solas.

I stopped, staring at the three with a slight squint. That bitch. She was sitting at the table next to the rotunda, sipping tea with the enemy! The torches on the wall beside them lit up the scene before me, making it look warm and inviting. Though with Solas there I kind of doubted it'd be inviting.

I knew that Eren and Solas seemed to get along quite fine, seeing them conversing with one another from time to time as they milled about Skyhold. Biting back my pride, I stomped up with purpose and took a seat right next to the group, grunting in greeting as they peered over to see me. The three continued their conversation as I looked around and saw that the main hall was more packed than it usually was. It got this way whenever the Inquisitor was going to sentence someone, everyone crowding to see her verdict.

Some people stood in groups, speaking amongst one another. The light from the large window at the end of the hall allowed the sunlight to pour in and illuminate that half of the large room. At some point, Varric had taken a seat with us along with Bull. The two of them having a conversation of their own. I, on the other hand, did not converse with anyone. I simply sat there and took everything in silently.

Nothing different, really. I never knew the correct things to say anyhow, so I opted for silence unless I really did wish to throw in my input.

"I miss home..." I heard Angel mutter sadly as she poked her empty tea cup. Eren rubbed her back affectionately, trying to offer comfort. I had no idea what they had been talking about, but when I tuned my hearing in that was what I heard first. "Don't you, Lyn?"

"Not really." I replied silently, looking at the uneven stone wall. It was a half-lie. Here I found purpose, somewhere I belonged. However, back on Earth ... It was the place I was born. The place that I was so used to. My expression was that of forced passivity as I stared at the wall, the torchlight flickered and made the shadows nearby dance back and forth.

"Litter, pollution, loud people, no family – not really much to miss." I heard, causing me to blink a few times. I shook my head, realizing that I'd just gone and blurted out my thoughts. God damn it. I blame Cole.

"Yeah, but what about the technology? The towering buildings that are so big that they go passed the clouds, or … the monuments created, societies that could be visited. So many cultures and languages it's hard to count. What about that? There is a lot to miss, Lyn." Angel perked up, defending our home with passion.

"In your opinion. We could find all those things here just fine." I paused for a moment, "Well, most of that. Not the technology or towering buildings."

"You really have buildings that are that tall? You're shitting me, right?" Varric rose a brow, looking a wee bit skeptical. Bull was watching everyone with his keen eye, seeing their faces shift and twitch. He probably knew what was truth and what wasn't.

"We also have machines for just about anything. We have one that takes passengers into the sky and flies us across the world!" Angel smiled, sounding a bit peppier now that she was talking about it. The teen's small hands were balled into fists as she held them up in front of her chest.

"Bullshit."

"Nope!" Angel smiled impishly, holding up one of her hands and waving him off. "You know how here it takes daaaays for a letter to get delivered, then even longer to reply and send one back?" Varric nods, "Well, back home we have machines that send them back and forth within seconds."

"Now I know you're lying." He chuckles, taking a swig of his ale. No one was going to believe her, but I wasn't going to go and tell her that. She would just get angry at me and do it anyway. My sister never did like getting told what to do. This was precisely why I never shared the minute details of our world, since most of the things there were damn near unthinkable here.

"Not at all!" Angel puffed out her cheeks, pouting a bit. "I'd show you the machine, but the battery is dead." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and began to pet it lovingly with a dopey smile on her face.

Varric mouthed the word 'battery' probably wondering what in the hell it was. Bull was staring at her interestedly. He could probably tell that she wasn't lying, which made it all the more amusing. I smirked behind my hand, staring at the group. Solas didn't seem at all surprised at her explanations, a knowing glint in his eyes. Eren's features brightened at the sight of the phone.

"She showed me how that worked when we first met! She's not lying. That thing painted a portrait of me within seconds, too." The purple eyed elf piped in with an excited grin, pointing at the little object in the teen's hand. "And it even had moving paintings inside of it. She said they were recordings of some sort."

"If it's dead, why do you keep it?" Solas inquired and Angel looked over at him with brightened brown eyes. It seemed she liked talking about home, because her mood had already lifted at the thoughts of it.

"Because the battery can be charged with electricity." She pointed at the charge port, showing the bald elf. He stared at it interestedly, "The  _right_  amount of electricity. Eren tried to charge a battery once and it exploded because he put too much into it."

Said elf laughed nervously, looking at the teen with a sheepish grin. "S-Sorry about that."

"Have you found out how we could get home at all, Lyn? No theories?" Angel sounded hopeful and I shook my head, causing her shoulders to slump slightly.

"Look, Girlie. After this is all over, I'm sure the Inquisitor will be more than willing to help you find your way home." Varric tried to comfort her with words, but I knew that it was quite unlikely that we'd find a way back. If my theory about falling through the Fade was correct, that is.

"Thanks, Mister Tethras." Angel bowed her head with a kind smile. "I'd greatly appreciate the help."

"I've searched the Fade extensively but have not found any indication as to what could have caused it." Solas pondered aloud, "It is almost unheard of to pass physically through the Fade."

He was still looking for a way to send us home? I didn't know whether to feel grateful or laugh (because he likely wanted me gone as soon as possible.). I didn't know Solas well enough to know his motives, though. So perhaps he was just doing it out of the goodness of his heart? Hah. Hah.

"I suppose you don't say 'impossible' because you guys actually did go physically into the Fade before?" I asked, scratching my chin thoughtfully. "Sounds like some freaky shit."

Bull grunted, as if agreeing with me.

"You what!?" Eren sounded incredulous, looking at Solas. "What was it like, Solas?"

"It was  _fascinating_." The bald elf sounded breathless and began to regale him with the story of what had happened. He got the occasional comment from Bull or Varric to add something in that he'd forgotten. Eren, all the while, was staring at him with starry eyes.

Eventually I had to focus my attention on the Inquisitor once she arrived to sit on her thrown. Curious, I stood up with the rest of the people to listen to what she had planned for Blackwall. He was upset that she brought him back, saying that he wanted to accept his punishment. Lynn stated that his punishment was to be up to the Wardens, once Corypheus was defeated. It was a rather short exchange and I hadn't really expected anything less of the elf. She was a very kind woman and obviously believed he was a changed man. She didn't look at him with as much disdain as many of the other companions did.

"Well, that's that." Varric sighed, "We're gonna be going on another one of those full group missions again, Screech. Ya plannin on coming along?"

"How soon?"

"Couple days, maybe." The dwarf answered, standing up from his seat. The armor that I'd ordered should be done by tomorrow or the next day, so I'll at least be protected if I went.

There was also the fact that I needed to correctly dispose of the rest of my bullets. I had no idea how to destroy them without hurting myself, so the only option I saw was to shoot them off. I didn't want to bury them, because the chance that someone finds them is still there. Maybe with target practice or using my gun in battle until I was out? I fully planned on melting the bastard in the Undercroft once I was finished.

I sighed, "Yeah, I'm coming. There's something I need to get done, anyway."

"Awwww, how come you get to go off on adventures and have fun?" Angel whined, looking up me. I blinked, feeling a little irritated that she thought that this was a game. She should know by now how unforgiving this world was, but here she is …

"This world is not all fun and games, Angel. These are real life and death situations. I could die."

That only caused Angel's face to pale a little as she stared at me with widened eyes. "I-I know that! But- Ugh!" She turned and stomped off, causing me to scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. What was wrong with that girl?

I walked lazily back to the barn, so that I could sleep. It was dark out, now, and the moon was bright enough to cast enough light on the walkway so that I didn't trip. I stared at the ground, making sure I didn't end up tripping anyway.

When I finally did make it to my destination, I creeped my way up the staircase and saw a figure sitting on the square hay bales that I'd claimed as my bed. The torches below cast just enough illumination to show me that it was Cole. He sat atop the mass of animal skins and a ratty blanket that was haphazardly strewn across the area. Sighing, I made my way over.

I couldn't help the fact that my boots made a clunking noise as I walked over, pushing bits of loose straw and hay aside as I kind of drug my feet. My friend looked up at me and it was then that I realized why he was sitting up here, pretty much waiting for me to get back. I frowned, seeing the sadness that lingered in his eyes.

God damn it. It had been happening much less lately, the amount of times I see him just dwelling on things and looking depressed. But he'd never actually directly sought me out like this before. Taking a deep breath, I made my way over and took a seat right beside him.

I didn't even know what to say, really, so we just kind of sat there in the silence. The occasional sound of a kitten tumbling by to fill the air. Other than that, it was pretty quiet. Should I just ask him what was wrong? No. Maybe ask him if he's okay? Cole didn't seem like the type to just lie and say he was alright. It seemed as though I didn't have to ask, because he knew. He always knew.

"The quiet never bothered me before. Thoughts too loud, overwhelming. I'd sit alone upstairs in the tavern, dulled hums of the conversation below. Now it's my own thoughts that are strong, unrelenting. They  _demand_  my attention." He spoke up, causing me to peek over at him. He was staring out at the aged wood on the far wall of the barn, a blank look on his face.

"Yeah... They'll do that to you." I responded softly. I knew the feeling, but it worried me how he was handling it. I knew that he had his own 'demons' that he had yet to conquer. To be quite honest, you never get rid of them. You just learn to live with them. I wondered how he would overcome them. I stared down at the floorboards, frown on my face.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm choking. Gasping for air, chest aches. Eyes stinging, can't get rid of it. It hurts." Cole's voice wavered slightly as he fiddled around with the wooden pendant I made him. "I've tried to make myself forget, but I can't."

I stared at him and couldn't help the horror from gripping my chest at the thought. "Y-You tried to make yourself  _forget_?"

"Yes."

"But … then you wouldn't be you, anymore. You would have forgotten yourself!" I snapped my mouth shut, cursing underneath my breath as I turned away. I felt kind of selfish. If he wanted to forget, who was I to stop him? Because if he forgot himself and became someone else entirely, he may have even forgotten me. Stupid. This wasn't about  _me_. I wanted to hit myself for being an idiot.

He was quiet for awhile, as if thinking about something. I didn't try to push, either, afraid that I would only end up pushing him away. That's the last thing that I wanted to do.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Old pains whisper like old songs. Quivering in the depths of your being. It never leaves. I can sometimes see glimpses, but nothing like I could before." Cole explained, voice quickening as he went on as if he were remembering the things he'd seen. I couldn't help but feel the blood drain from my face as he spoke, completely laying everything out for the both of us to see. "Your family hurt you when you were very young. Now they're just titles attached to feelings. Mother – Abandonment, resentment, selfishness. Father is the same way, though you never knew him. Papa, too, but he took your -"

"I know." I cut him off before he could continue. Shit. I looked around, making sure that no one was down here at the barn with us. If it weren't for the fact that we were alone, I would have snapped or run away by now. How'd this go from being about  _his_  grief to  _my_  past pains, again? Why did he turn the conversation in this direction? Of all things to do.

I cringed, the memories from back then flitting around as they emerged from the dusty depths of my mind. Ah yes, of course. I never really liked sitting down and thinking about the past, nothing ever good came out of it. It still hurt, yeah, but it was more like a muted ache now. Before I was put in the foster care system when I was 8, a lot of crap had happened. But even  _after_  I went into the system, it never stopped. I'm not sure what I felt about him knowing these things, to be completely honest.

This was  _not_  something I willingly put on display for anyone, really. I felt vulnerable and exposed as I allowed myself to lean forward and curl into myself a little as if it would help. Not even my closest friends (when I had them), knew about the things he was talking about. Not even my  _sister_. But here I was, allowing him to see it. Feel it. Know it. There had to have been a reason behind the question, though. So I let him to continue, albeit with a little reluctance.

"But that's not where it ended." He prodded, my eyes closed halfway and I breathed deeply. Calm. Instead of lashing out, like I normally would have, I permitted him access to some of my deepest secrets. I trusted him. I had to remember that. I trusted him.

"Is … is there a reason we're talking about this?" I asked, feeling apprehension creep up as I sat there. I balled my hands into fists and stared at my feet.

"Yes." Was all he offered, not even continuing. It was quiet for awhile before I realized he expected me to answer. I sighed,

"No, it's not." I gritted out with a bit of trouble. Sure I got to live with my Aunt for a time, but eventually she couldn't keep us either. "Not all foster homes are as nice as they seem. Some only care about the money."

"Still small, not strong enough. Watching them hurt your siblings. Fighting. Helpless. Weak.  _'Doesn't matter, it never did.'_ " Cole breathed and I closed my eyes tightly, he continued sounding almost scared as his voice shook. "Dark. So dark. You held the knife and  _wanted_  to do it. You  _needed_  it. But you didn't. You didn't let the darkness take you. Winding, curling, it stuck to you and tried to pull you down but you didn't let it. You didn't fall. You didn't disappear. How? How did you do it?"

Despair. That's what he was talking about. He seemed to nod at this, as if agreeing.

My brown eyes widened and it was like something clicked in my head. It was right then that I realized why it was he was digging around in my head. Was this his way of asking me for help? Was he still agonizing over what he had done back at the Spire? What happened to the apostate Cole? Sure, I wasn't beaten within an inch of my life or anything quite as grievous as what happened to people here. I had experience, nonetheless, in handling the torrent of emotions that came after emotional and physical trauma.

I never liked doing this whole touchy feely thing, since I always found it so difficult to speak about the memories. It used to be because it hurt too much to speak of them, but now it was mainly because I didn't want to make people uncomfortable. It was almost like they felt obligated to offer their condolences or feel pity toward me. I didn't want that. But Cole wasn't offering that. So I would do it. For him.

I sighed, looking over at him to study his features. He was staring forlornly at the rafters of the barn, his blue eyes held an amount of anguish that it almost frightened me. It wasn't any worse than it was back at the waterfall, but I still didn't like seeing that expression. I was just able to see it now, with the torchlight from below. I wanted to take that away from him, make him feel better. Tell him it was alright. Everything will be fine. But the only thing that could come out was –

"C-Cole … are you...?" I paused, not knowing how to word my question. He seemed to know, however.

"I can't know for sure, but … the real Cole. His father beat him, killed his mother." He confided, "His sister might have died, too. I don't know if that was real or what the demon made me think. Then the Templars threw him into the darkness and starved him."

I remembered him talking about what had happened to the apostate Cole, back with the Templar man. How he'd come to be in this world. My eyes were downcast as he spoke and I felt it, a heavy feeling in my chest. I wished I could do something. Anything.

"What … what they did to Cole still hurts you, doesn't it?" I was quiet as I said it, watching as the shadows on the walls danced and flickered.

"It still hurts. You said that it would go away with time, but it still hurts. Especially when I'm alone to think about it." I could hear the pain that laced his words and I cringed inwardly. I felt like I was partly to blame for the decision back then, but no amount of 'could have' and 'would have' will make any difference now.

"All the time?" I pressed, trying to get him to elaborate.

"No. Sometimes it fades, but only for a little bit." Well, that's a start. I looked over at him again, my fingers twitching as I tried to think of a way to offer some comfort. I was never good with words, only able to say things as they are. It never bothered me much, but right now I wished I knew the right things to say. The correct combination to perhaps ease his pain. I, instead, continued in the only way I knew how.

"It's different for most people. How I overcame my problems may not be the same way you can overcome yours. Sometimes people can't –" His eyes widened, fear written on his pale features. I continued hurriedly, "But I  _know_ you can. Believing in yourself has a lot to do with it, I suppose."

"How do you know?"

"You've gotten this far, haven't you?" I answered with my own question, watching as he simply stared blankly at the ceiling of the barn. "What are you doing when the pain fades?" He seemed to contemplate for a second and I waited as long as he needed me to. Though it only took perhaps a minute.

"When Varric tells me stories and teaches me new things. When Solas is talking to me and sharing his experiences in the Fade. When I'm with you." Cole listed, slowly taking his eyes off the rafters and looking to his side at me. I offered him a smile, which he returned. His eyes, though, still held the weight of his feelings.

"The pain is as much a part of life as the happiness we feel. That's the shitty thing about life – about  _time_. It doesn't really  _heal_  anything, it just teaches us how to live with the pain. And sometimes we find people that make it that much more bearable." I offered quietly, hands clenching into fists.

"It scares me." Cole muttered, his hands fidgeting with his hand wraps as he stared down at them. His hair casting a shadow on his eyes, making it hard for me to decipher what he was feeling. His voice shook as he spoke, which told me enough. "The …  _despair_ , it's my greatest fear. I don't want it to take me."

"It won't." I shifted and put my hand over his. "You have  _us_. Sometimes that isn't enough for some people, but God damn it I'll  _try_  to make it enough." I bit back the growl I was going to release at how inadequate I felt right at that moment. No amount of reassuring could just get rid of what he was feeling, I knew that much. "You're too important to me … to just lose you like that."

"Am I?"

I stood up and crouched in front of him. Maybe if Cole knew that he was important to someone, it would help him start to overcome this. Make things easier and I could show him. Words couldn't do that. I felt nervousness swirl around as I grabbed his hat and set it aside. He stared down at me curiously, a small frown etched into his face.

"Yes." I answered quietly, my small hand shook as I reached up to brush his blonde bangs away. I leaned forward and even in the dim light, I could see a small blush form on his face. Smiling, I let my fingers thread into his hair as we locked gazes for a moment. Right before I leaned in the rest of the way and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead.

I heard a sharp intake of breath, feeling his arms slowly wrap around my waist in response. My damn heart was beating so erratically, I wondered if he could hear it. Feel it, even, as he pushed his face into the crook of my neck and pulled me closer. I shivered, feeling my face flush a brilliant red. Perhaps since it's so dark, he won't notice when he pulls away. Yeah.

We stayed like that for awhile. Words never did come to me that well, but at least my actions didn't falter. That's good.

"I'm here, whenever you need me." I finally spoke up, letting my cheek rest on his shoulder. I heard him make a noise that sounded kind of like a grunt as he squeezed me tighter.

"Thank you." Cole mumbled and I could swear I felt water trickling down my collarbone just now. I frowned, "Just don't leave."

Maybe, just maybe, I  _could_  help him. Keep him from falling apart again, just like he almost did before. Keep him from getting crushed by the pressure of his burdens, or at least lessen it enough to keep him from going mad. _S_ _omething._ One thing I did know, however, was that I'd never just leave him.

"Never." I squeezed him, offering reassurance. Getting through things like this was a process. It couldn't just go away overnight and I intended to be there for him every step of the way.

* * *

Cole wasn't alone.  _They_ weren't alone. After that revelation, it didn't seem like the silence was all that terrifying anymore.


	23. Wicked Grace and the Emerald Graves

I was jolted awake the next day, hearing a loud ' _THUMP_ '. My eyes flew open and I let out a pained groan, turning my head to the side. I'd fallen onto the floor of the loft from my small makeshift bed. It hadn't been a far drop, but it still hurt nonetheless. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes, seeing a messy mop of white-blonde hair come into view from my bed.

"Sorry." Cole mumbled sleepily, a small frown on his face. The little bastard must have hogged the bed and knocked me off. I huffed, sitting up and hearing my bones crack as I stretched. I looked over at my friend, who had curled back up but was still looking at me blankly. My lips twitched as I took in his disheveled appearance.

"I needed to do something before work, anyway." I mumbled, standing up and dusting myself off.

We were going to head out to the Emerald Graves tomorrow, from the sounds of it. I quietly wondered how many of these group missions we'd have to do before this Ball that Empress Celene was holding. Not that I wanted to go, of course. I'd probably end up getting everyone kicked out. It's just … something was telling me that after the Ball, something was going to happen. It was a foreboding feeling and it made me a little uneasy.

I didn't want to end up getting chopped to pieces during battle, so I'd had some armor specially made for me. It took all of my savings, which wasn't much. But for one set of leather armor? It was just enough, especially with the materials that Lynn so kindly donated to me.

Which brought me to my present predicament. Dagna was smiling up at me with that cheesy grin of hers. I'd met her back when I was talking about what kind of armor I wanted and all the like. She was a cute little woman, really. I almost wanted to squish her cheeks. Which is  _odd_  for me to have such girlish urges. Ugh.

Originally I'd asked Harritt, the old blacksmith, to craft me some armor but Dagna had butted in at some point and began to regale me on the wonders of enchanting. I understood none of it, naturally. She'd heard about my world and was intensely interested to know about it and what we had accomplished. It had surprised me at first, because usually people were all 'oh, you're crazy' or 'that's bullshit'. But not her. She'd said nothing was impossible and that she really wanted to know how I did it. Of course, I didn't know.

"I added a little extra something to your little ensemble. I hope you don't mind!" Dagna smiled widely up at me, her eyes twinkling with wonder. I was broken out of my thoughts from her statement and I blinked a few times, my vision focusing down at her.

"Errr... as long as it doesn't explode in my face …" I was a little hesitant, because she gave off that kind of vibe. Ya know?

"No, no. None of that. Did you …  _want_  it to explode? I can make something that explodes. Fire and everything."

"No!" I snapped, but paused after that last sentence clicked in my head. Fire? "Weeeeell, maybe another time."

Dagna giggled, walking over to a chest on the side of one of the stone walls. The undercroft was different than I'd seen in the game. It'd been such a long time since I saw, anyway, I don't think I would be able to tell which looks like what anymore. My memory of the game world was kind of hazy, at this point. I sighed, seeing her hold up a bundle of belts and leather. Some pieces of shiny metal glinted from the light the torches provided on the wall nearby.

I slowly started to change into the armor they'd crafted, Harritt was too busy working on some weapons at the forge to even notice so I thought it was alright. I grumbled, feeling irritated when I got to the buckles and straps that held certain pieces in place. The poor woman was stuck with teaching me how to put it on correctly for the first time. Though she didn't seem to mind at all.

"You've seriously never put armor on before?" Dagna asked, sounding like she didn't believe it. I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed. "It's a wonder you haven't gotten chopped to pieces."

"I'm lucky." I thought I'd never say that. Ever. But it's the truth. I was lucky enough up to this point to even survive like I have. There was also the fact that the party I always traveled with was pretty proficient at fighting. The enemies were usually focused on them and not some puny civilian woman in the background. Though now I won't look the part of civilian and would likely get targeted. Practice makes perfect, right?

I rolled my shoulder once the armor was put on, making sure that I still had mobility. Oddly enough, I did. Even though there were metal pieces on my shoulders that strapped onto my torso, to provide me with extra protection. A rather light-weight chest plate, which was the large chunk of metal I'd seen earlier, was strapped rather snugly underneath the jacket. It wasn't anything fancy, really, just a sleeveless gray leather jacket that buckled in the front. The tail-flaps to said jacket fell just behind my knees and my leather pants were baggy on me and had pockets just like my cargo pants did.

To put it simply, the armor was made for a male body. I tucked the cuffs of my pants into my boots and stood up to grin over at the dwarf woman. She seemed to appraise the work done and looked over at the old man that was working at the forge. The light from the morning sun was bright enough now to illuminate the whole room.

"You did a good job, Harritt! Wanna come take a look?" The redheaded dwarf called, getting a grunt from him in response. Almost all old men I've met in this world were either grumpy or … well, grumpy. I had yet to meet any cute old people that were nice and liked to talk about the old days. Was this just a thing in my world?

"Don't you rogues like the tight fitting leather for more mobility? I thought I was making armor for a man!" He griped, looking at how baggy it looked on me. Yeah, when Dagna took my measurements I'd told her to make some sizes a little larger than what they really were. Also, men's pants never stick to their ass so why do I have to have tight leather pants? I'd rather not announce to my enemies that I have a rather large rump. Nope. No thanks. I tilted my head at the pale man in confusion and I could practically see his blood pressure rising.

"It fits just fine, sir. I like it." I tried to reassure, thinking that he was upset about not making it right. He frowned underneath his huge orange mustache and squinted down at me, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Armor must fit it's wearer correctly, lest you wish to die? I will not be responsible for a kid dying in battle because –" Seeing a vein bulge in his forehead, I stumbled away and grabbed my clothing from the floor. I then proceeded to throw the door open and scuttle to safety. On the other side of Skyhold. The bald blacksmith looked like he was about to have a frigging stroke! I darted toward the exit of the main hall, the doors still cracked open to reveal the clear sky outside. "Get back here, kid!"

"Maybe another time!" I yelled back, scurrying down the staircase and toward the barn. I felt excited that I finally had my armor and couldn't wait to show it off. It was still rather early in the morning, but it wasn't my turn to feed the horses this early so I still had about an hour before I had to head down.

I sat up in the loft fiddling around the straps and belts that adorned my armor, memorizing them the best I could. I practiced with unbuckling and buckling them and all the like before I had to take it off and put on some clothes that I could work in. I spent the rest of the day in a rather good mood, my steps a little lighter and my face less ' _growly_ ' as Varric liked to call it. I sometimes wondered why he didn't just nickname me 'growly' instead of 'screech'.

Just when I was about to leave up to the loft for the rest of the evening, I was stopped by Varric as he entered the barn with a grin on his face. Was he always grinning? Does his face ever get stuck like that? Maybe it already was. I tilted my head in question, he spoke up.

"We're playing Wicked Grace in the tavern tonight, wanna join?" The dwarf crossed his arms and offered me his signature smirk. Wicked Grace, eh? I've heard them talk about it a few times before. It was some card game, from what I gathered, and I never really bothered to learn the rules or whatever.

"Huh. I have no idea how to play."

"Bah, Ruffles will show you! It's easy, come on." I thought about it for a moment before shrugging. It'd been awhile since I sat around the whole group (Last time we were around a fire and they were jumping to conclusions, remember?). Yeah, not a good thought. Hopefully by now they had either forgotten or just didn't care anymore.

"Alright, whatever you say. Just let me get washed up, I smell like shit." I looked down at myself and scrunched my nose, "Quite literally."

"Doesn't start for another hour anyway, take your time." The dwarf looks at my dirtied state and seemed to agree with my idea of washing up. I nodded and he turned to walk away, waving lazily in my direction. Sighing, I trudged my way up the stairs to grab a new set of clothing before heading to the washrooms.

It didn't take me long before I was changed and washed as I headed over to the Herald's Rest. I had a small money pouch stuffed in my pocket with only a designated amount. I wasn't stupid enough to go to a game night with all my money, you know. Never was really one for gambling, but what's the worst that could happen?

I threw the tavern door open and ambled in lazily, shutting it behind me. My boots thudded on the floorboards as I walked. It was empty, save the large group of friends sitting in the middle of the first floor with one huge table. Cards, candles and drinks were strewn our haphazardly around the table and they were laughing amongst one another.

Dorian and Cassandra sat side by side on the furthest end nearest to the staircase, the latter taking a small sip from her huge mug. Lynn and Varric were next and so on and so forth. The only people I didn't see here were Vivienne (Thank fuck) and Sera. Silently wondering where Sera even was, I made my way up to the group of friends. I almost felt out of place, with their smiling faces and loud bickering but stayed nonetheless. Maybe it would get better?

"Bull, move your fatass over." I complained quietly, not wanting to interrupt, as I stood next to him. He had the whole end of the table to himself as he sat there. He flicked his one eye up at me and grinned, moving his stool to the side. Grunting, I sat down between him and Cole.

"Glad you could make it, Screech." Varric called from over the table and I saw a tankard set in front of me. I simply stared at it, then back at Bull who had been the one to set it there. While I was sitting on that little stool, I felt almost dwarfed next to the huge Qunari. My head barely made it to his shoulders, causing me to grumble. I wasn't a short woman, not really. The people here were just tall! Yeah.

"You aren't getting me drunk." I drawled, "I don't even know what  _kind_  of drunk I am. I do not intend to find out." I muttered at the end, thinking about all the embarrassing things I've seen people do when they were under the influence of alcohol. Stupid things, too. Not for me. Nope.

"Have you ever gambled before? It's quite habit forming." Dorian spoke from the other end of the table. I would have made a joke about my being Native American and about casinos, but that joke would fly over everyone's head. Unfortunate. I sighed,

"Yes. But only a little, it's not really my cup of tea. But here I am."

"The machines always stole your money. You once got thrown out of a casino for punching it." Cole spoke from beside me, causing my eye to twitch.

"Great, announce to the table that I have bad luck. Thanks, Cole."

"You're … welcome?" He sounded a bit confused, probably at the fact that I was practically screeching in my head in horror. I was totally going to lose all my money. My poor hard earned silvers. Such sad. Wow. So depress.

"It's okay, I'll show you the ropes." Josephine said with a dainty smile.

"More money for me." Bull grunted, feeling completely confident in his abilities to play this game. I wouldn't put it passed him. He used to be Ben-Hassrath (Harseholes) and was pretty much trained to see if someone was lying and whatever. This was going to be … difficult.

* * *

And it was, because it wasn't even an hour later when I sat there at the table in nothing but my underclothes (Which was a tank top and some shorts, thank God.). Josephine had suggested that I put my shirt and pants up, but I think that she rigged the damn game so that she could get them. My poor cargo pants and t-shirt. I whined quietly, seeing her fold them delicately and put them aside next to her seat. The tanned woman looked smug as she glanced over at me, brown eyes crinkling with happiness. I pouted and looked away, seeing the amused faces of the rest of my friends.

At least I still had my boots. If you thought I was going to put my boots up, you're crazy. I love my boots to death.

"I think I'm out for the night." I spoke up as Josephine dealt the cards. She seemed to pause for a moment before skipping me entirely, "I'm broke."

"You weren't lying when you said you had bad luck. Unless you're just shit at playing." Varric laughed heartily as he took a drink of his ale. I think I even heard Lynn snicker at that comment, causing me to squint in her direction. Those asses.

"Probably a bit of both, I'd imagine." Dorian couldn't help but jab at me for it, a small smile on his face as he looked in my direction. I focused my eyes on one of the many candles that sat at the worn out table, watching as some of the wax dribbled down the side.

"Hah. Hah. Laugh it up, guys." Was my unamused reply as I looked down and began picking at the planks on the table with my chipped fingernails. I wasn't pouting. I refused to admit I was pouting.

"Do not worry, I could never get the hang of this game either." Cassandra tried to make me feel better and I nodded in her direction, silently thanking her. At least I wasn't the only one that was horrible at card games, yeah?

I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling the need to hide because I thought it was a brilliant idea not to wear a bra. I'd assumed it would be a quick game and I could just go throw myself in bed and sleep, but no. I didn't need to announce to the table how cold I thought it was now did I?

I did not foresee this.

It didn't escape my notice how my friend at my left seemed to be squirming in his seat. Turning my brown gaze over to him he appeared to be, I shit you not,  _glaring_  at Bull. Blinking slowly, as if it would clear my vision, I stared at Cole for a moment. His piercing blue eyes were on the Qunari at my right. I turned my head up at said Qunari and saw that he was, of course, staring at my chest. Or trying to, since I had most of them covered with my arms.

I made a noise of disapproval and tried to move my arms up higher, as if trying to shield myself more. This was the last time I was going to play Wicked Grace. First and last. My impulsive behavior got me into this predicament and I planned to avoid the situation at all costs, now. Another reason to keep me from casinos, I suppose. I blame my genes. (Heh, get it? I'm Native American. Hah. Hah. No? Alright.)

Alright, if it bothered him that much I would go put something on. I mean, I was planning to anyway … but with the way Cole was acting, I really would not be surprised if Bull spontaneously combusted. I should do it now rather than later. Wooo, I thought Cassandra's glare was scary. I'm just glad it wasn't directed at me. Nope. All the nope, on the nope train to Fuckthatshitville.

Please don't blurt stuff out. Please don't. That's the last thing I need is a table full of buzzed friends to be laughing their asses off at me again. Cole's glare seemed to almost disappear, like it was never even there as he looked over at me curiously. I frowned, gripping my arms together uncomfortably.  _I'll be right back._  I tried to convey silently.

He seemed to understand as he nodded minutely. Of course he understood, he could pretty much read my thoughts. My lips twitched and I stood up to make my way to my room on the third floor. Which, by the way, I hardly ever used anymore, aside from storing things.

I was walking out of the room with a tunic on, finding that shorts would be completely fine anyway. I had just needed to cover my torso, in the very least. I stepped out, the door creaking shut quietly as I ambled toward the staircase. Only to get knocked over and fall on my ass, feeling a rather heavy solid object tumble over and roll onto the floor beside me.

"Ow, mother fucker!" I yelled as I fell back and hit the floorboards.

"S-Sorry!" I heard Cullen's voice right next to me, causing my eyes to snap open as I flew into a seated position. Okay,  _not_  an object. I'd run into a person. I turned to glare at him, but my rebuttal was quickly forgotten as I saw him scuttling away on the floor and trying to cover himself at the same time.

Because he was naked.

"Oh for-" I snap out, holding my hand up to cover my vision and prevent myself from seeing his … little bits. "Seriously?! You're a-ahh … kinda naked, Cullen." I watched as he only got redder at my statement, his face and neck changing colors. I could have sworn the poor man was about to burst into tears or something through the mortification he probably felt right now, his light brown eyes impossibly wide as he stared over at me. He stood up and stuttered out apologies as he scrambled for the door to run outside and to his office.

Okay, I used to live in a house full of guys when I lived with my Aunt. So I was pretty much desensitized to the whole half naked men thing. (Even though this one was  _completely_  naked, but that's beside the point) I know I know, 'But they're related to you' I get it. But they had friends, and I never really cared to look. Still don't care to look, as Cullen stumbled away in his embarrassment.

Guess there was a reason most of my family thought I was aromantic and/or asexual. Heh. How wrong they were.

I stared blankly, still sitting on the floor in the dark. That was incredibly cliché, it was like I was in some horrible fanfiction or something. Let's take the game's most attractive character, take his/her clothes and armor off, and make them run into the main character of the story. By accident, might I add. Bonus points if they either have big boobs or is ripped. Next thing I know, I'm going to find Cullen in his undergarments tied to my bed one day. _ **Because plot**_ _._ I'm totally calling it.

I scoffed at my thoughts and pushed my hands on the worn out wood to stand up so that I could peek down over the railing.

"Dare I ask what happened?" I leaned forward and called down, seeing only the Inquisitor and Varric still lingering around speaking to one another. "Eh... I take it the game is over?"

I got a giggle from Lynn and she assured me that game night was indeed over. Well darn, I still wanted to hear some embarrassing stories that they seemed to love to share. Or maybe even see Josephine take everyone's money, because the reactions they got when they went broke was always hilarious. Mainly because I was the one to go broke first and I wanted to revel in their misfortunes, just like they had with me.

"Can we cuddle tonight?" I clasped the railings in surprise, turning my gaze over to Cole. How in the hell – Rogues are so  _sneaky_  …

I suddenly found it amusing how Harritt seemed to think  _I_  was a rogue when I couldn't even sneak to save my life. I felt my face heat up and I offered a small smile. I didn't even have to think about how to answer his question, really. Sleep seemed to come easier when I lay next to him.

"If you'd like." Was my answer, feeling him grab my hand and lead me toward his room. Well, one good thing is I was already dressed for bed anyway.

Once we were settled, I realized how much I missed having an actual bed. It was so soft and comfortable I could already feel myself starting to relax as I burrowed underneath the blankets. My back was against the wall and my eyes slowly adjusted enough with the dim light offered from the window coming from the moon.

"The Iron Bull is a …  _pervert_." Cole spoke from his position on the bed. He was facing me and I could faintly see his expression, which seemed to be blank at the moment. It sounded like the word was foreign to him and I remembered a time when he had no idea what a pervert even was. I let out a quiet laugh. He sounded confused, "You are laughing?"

"That's just Bull being … Bull." I explained, brushing it off like it was nothing. And it was, it wasn't like he would actually do anything about it. He knew that I had little interest in those kinds of activities.

"He wondered how your breasts would feel in his hands. They're big, so he –" Surprised, I put my palm over his mouth to silence him. I didn't really want to hear Bull's lewd thoughts. It would just make me feel all awkward around him. Eugh. Though, I did notice that this time when Cole repeated another man's thoughts out loud he almost sounded … bitter. Like the thought itself left a foul taste in his mouth.

"I-I get it. Did it bother you that much?" I asked, removing my hand as I felt my face pinken. Silently glad that he probably couldn't see how embarrassed I was, he seemed to contemplate something for a moment. I couldn't really see, either, but I  _could_  see the way his eyes seemed to squint and his mouth twisted into a little frown.

"Yes. The anger was buzzing, curling, tightening – I … I wanted to hit him. I don't like it when he thinks of you like that." My body shook as I felt amusement bubble around. The fact that he was being so protective was kind of cute. "Y-You're happy? But I don't  _want_  to hit The Iron Bull, he is my friend."

"No no." I chuckled lightly, "But  _I'd_  probably end up punching him if he grabbed me, though. I don't take too kindly to people touching me."

"But … you let  _me_  touch you."

"You're different." I scooted a little closer, curling up against him and smiling. "Get some sleep, yeah?" The only response I got was him wrapping his arms around me and pulling me up to his chest. I hummed in contentment and drifted off not too long after that.

* * *

We were standing near the gates of Skyhold the next day, the horses having been saddled up and ready to go awhile ago. I stood there, next to my friend, as we waited for the rest of the party to ready themselves for the upcoming mission. I tried to ignore the occasional glance from Vivienne, who was standing not far away, but it seemed life was not that kind to me. I was granted with the gift of the woman's company as she strode over to me, her hands adjusting her white fashionable robes.

"I would have a word with you about the Inquisitor's demon pet, if you will." She spoke and I had to bite back the urge to growl at her words. What is with people and calling him a demon? Or a pet, for that matter?

"Whatever you want said, can be said here." Was my icy reply and I watched as she flicked her brown gaze between Cole and I. My friend stood quietly at my side, watching the exchange. I would have normally tried to keep my mask of indifference around the woman, but the fact that she insisted on calling him a 'demon pet' seemed to grate on my nerves. It was bad enough that Sera referred to him as an 'it' when she spoke of him. "Though, I do insist you stop calling him a  _pet_  like he is some animal. He's a person, just like you and I!"

"Oh, poor dear …  _It's a demon._  It's always the most harmless looking ones that are the most dangerous." Vivienne sounded almost concerned. And I wouldn't know if she really felt concerned or not, I didn't know the woman. The only thing I did know, however, was that I did not like her.

"Oh, for fucks sake!" I hissed, jabbing my finger in her face. The tanned mage took a small step back, out of reach as I pointed at her. "Just mind your own damn business!"

The Orlesian mage looked down at me disdainfully before holding her chin up high. " _Charming_. Just know, whether Cole is a demon or spirit is irrelevant. Neither can be trusted."

"I'd much sooner trust him with my life than I would you."

"Him? Who killed so many? He was the Ghost of the Spire. He brought matters in the Spire to a head. Without him, there would be no rebellion." I noticed that Cole seemed to tense at the mage's words and I felt my self control snap. If she'd come over here to comment on my outfit or make snide remarks that referred to me, I wouldn't have been so bothered. But I felt intensely protective over Cole, and the fact that she'd brought that up  _pissed me off_. I could feel my anger boiling just at the sight of her, right then.

My body begin to shake as I wound up my arm to swing at her, intent on punching her in the face for insulting him. I didn't get to, though, because I felt someone grab my arm to stop me. I tried a few times to wriggle out of their grasp, but to no avail. I peered over, seeing that it was Cole that was preventing me from hitting the woman. He had a disapproving look on his face and my attention snapped back over to the mage, my eyes narrowed dangerously. My reaction did not go unnoticed by the woman as she stood there with a disturbed look on her face.

"Leave." I ground out, watching as the woman looked from Cole then back to me again. Vivienne turned and strode away without a word. It's not  _him_  that she needed to be afraid of. I wanted to hit the woman for being such an insensitive prick. I knew she had her own reasons for seeing him in that light and I refused to try and see things from her point of view. I refused to think about it. What's done is done. What matters is  _now_. Once she was out of hearing range, I whispered angrily. "The rebellion would have started anyway … people are just … that's just how we are."

Cole didn't answer me.

* * *

It took a couple of days to get there, but when we did I was in awe. The place was … stunning. I'd seen forests and all the like back home but this was as beautiful as the game depicted. No, that just didn't do it justice. It's more than that, the way the trees would sway and the way the warm breeze would tickle my face and make my hair shift. There was no litter, no pollution, just fresh air and greenery. Everything was so lush and filled with life.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Krem spoke from beside me and I looked over and nodded, smiling up at him happily. His face turned red and he let out a cough into his fist, looking away. Blinking, I tilted my head in confusion.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine." The warrior peered back over at me and I rose a brow. "You should smile more, it looks good on you." He smirked, seemingly regaining himself.

"Not creepy?"

"Only if you force it." He gave me a genuine laugh, patting me on the head before he turned away and walked up to the group. I grunted and follow after him, still looking at my surroundings.

Most of the places here on Thedas were so beautiful, in comparison to my home world. Sure, back home there were tourist locations that looked wonderful. Places that I'd wanted to visit if I ever got the chance to. But it was _different_  here, untouched by technology and overpopulation. Earth was infested with too many humans, I thought. It was a damn shame.

"Alright, we're going to be splitting up again." The Inquisitor spoke as she walked up from a small ravine, Cassandra at her side. We'd been left near the entrance while she walked in and had a little chat with someone. "I spoke to Fairbanks and he reported some men that call themselves The Freeman of the Dales. They've been terrorizing people in attempt to claim this area as their own."

"Guess we'll just have to crash the party, right Boss?" Bull grinned down at the small elf and smashed his big fist into his hand. Lynn looked up at him and offered a kind smile, the chainmail underneath her white leather armor glinted in the sunlight. She was wearing that armor that only elf rogues could wear, her feet were out in the open. I idly wondered how she dealt with the snowy conditions in that armor. Solas did that, too. Their feet being bare even in icy weather baffled me.

"We can't allow these people to remain without protection. That is where we come in." As it seemed, the Inquisition was far too busy with other tasks (again) to actually send extra forces here to the Emerald Graves to help the people. So Lynn decided it was best to just come and do it herself, along with the party of course. We split up in the same way we had last time, finding it easier to keep a routine going to make battle much easier. That and the Chargers were with us and splitting them up didn't seem to make sense at all.

As we passed a cave, where I knew some bears were located from when I played the game, I looked around feeling a bit apprehensive. I really did not like bears since I'd arrived here.

"Don' worry, we killed em last time we were here. Scaredy pants." Sera snickered as we made our way by the cave, vines dangled near the entrance. I huffed quietly, looking down at my feet and kicking the grass. The ground was littered with ferns and yellow flowers as they flitted and swayed in the light breeze. It wasn't my fault bears were out to get me.

"Aw, don't worry. I'll protect you." I let out a groan at Krem's statement as I heard his heavy footfalls from right behind me. I didn't  _need_  protecting! I was getting better. We made our way through the long grass on foot, having left the horses back at the Inquisition camp. Riding horses through a forest was never a good idea, after all. Unless you planned on getting cloths-lined by a branch. I turned around to give Krem a snarky comment, but saw him and Cole staring at one other as we walked forward. I slowed a little so that I was standing beside Cole as we continued our trek.

Well, maybe they were glaring. I couldn't be too sure. Did I miss something, here?

"If you guys are done gazing into eachother's eyes, perhaps we should keep an eye out for hostiles? Possibly … bears?" I fiddled with the straps on my vambraces. When I looked up, I saw Dorian watching the three of us with a rather amused grin on his face. I rose a brow but decided to simply shrug it off. Whatever.

"Rift!" I heard someone yell from not far ahead, causing me to snap my attention in their direction. Cassandra had unsheathed her sword and had her shield positioned in front of her, in a battle stance. We were near a bend in the river when I saw the green tear crackle and Lynn's hand seemed to glow in response.

Or demons. Those too.

Loud inhuman shrieks pierced the air, causing the hairs on my arms and neck to stand on end. I froze for a second, feeling the blood drain from my face. The sound was … terrifying. I pulled my bow out and notched an arrow, making my way forward just as the others had. Since there were so many of us, it didn't even take that long to dispatch the first wave of demons that had appeared from the rift.

I was, however, there when the second wave came. A terror demon pounced out of the ground right beside Bull and I could have sworn I heard him scream. Okay, maybe he yelled. I could see the fear on his face as he began to bash the thing with his oversized sword.

Me? Well, I was standing in the back with the rest of the archers and mages. With so many allies bustling around and battling with the ugly things, it was hard to get any clear shots without almost hitting someone with an arrow.

Suddenly, my body was sent flying causing my world to shift upside down as I tumbled in the soft grass. I heard Sera and Varric yell from beside me, obviously in the same predicament. When I looked up through my mess of rusty hair, I saw the spindly form of a terror demon towering over me as it let out a shrill cry. I screeched in response, my high pitched voice carrying over the battlefield. I think Sera might have screamed, too, because she was scrambling into a standing position from right beside me.

 _The thing was fucking ugly!_  It had so many eyes on it's green head and it's mouth extended all the way down to the middle of it's chest, razor sharp teeth protruding out. It stopped shrieking and looked down at me as I scuttled backward, ready to club it if need be. I doubt it would do much, since its claws were so long and sharp. Before it could do anything, however, it was shield bashed to the side by Krem. The warrior spun and started to hack away at it, giving us enough time to recover.

I stood up right next to Sera and began to fire arrows whenever I can. Once everything was done and over with I finally realized that I could have just pulled out my gun and unloaded into that fucker. Stupid. I couldn't even think straight because of how damn  _scared_  I'd been. Okay, so I was  _terrified_. Scared was not a sufficient enough word to describe what I'd felt. I'd never seen a demon before and I sincerely hoped I didn't see one for awhile.

I knew how unlikely that was, though. Because Corypheshit.

"Shite. Now I owe you a drink, don' I?" Sera griped as she stomped over to Krem, crossing her arms. "Me an' Screech almost got torn to bits, yeah? Frig. Demons shit up everything!"

I'd thank him later. I tread around the group carefully, not wanting to step in demon gore, and made my way in another direction. I walked up to Cole, who was standing near where the rift had been located and staring over at us with an almost disturbed expression on his face.

"You're … uhhh, covered in … stuff." I pointed out the obvious, pointing at his armor and hair. There was even some on his face! Everyone else that had been on the front lines was in the same predicament as he was. Though Cole seemed to have quite a bit splattered around all over his leather armor and even in his hair. I stifled a giggle, allowing my fingers to stroke a chunk of his blonde hair that fell in front of his face. The blood was green and … gooey.

I was actually kind of relieved a pride demon didn't appear through that rift, because that would have been devastating. Even though we had the advantage of numbers, at the moment.

"We should probably get cleaned off in the river or something." I mumbled offhandedly after my friend didn't reply. He seemed awfully quiet as he stared off into the distance.

"I second that statement. It's getting dark, anyhow." Cassandra spoke from behind us and I turned to look at her. The Seeker fought with all that she had and it definitely showed, because even she was covered in the crap. Lynn nodded from beside her and began to tell everyone to set up camp for the night. Tomorrow we would split up and get rid of these Freeman dudes.

But first I kind of wanted to see what the water felt like here, since it was so warm. At least it wasn't blazing hot, because the leather I was wearing right then would probably make things so much worse. I wondered what they did when they were in the desert? Did they just put up with the heat and drink lots of water? Or maybe they had some kind of enchantment in their armor?

A question for another time.

**Third Person**

Cole couldn't help but feel kind of warm and fuzzy when Lyn fretted over him like this. Any previous thoughts he'd had about her almost getting hurt were set in the back of his mind. She had grabbed a damp handkerchief and started to clean his face and hair off, a soft look on her face as she did so. The lanky rogue was currently crouched near some bushes as she knelt in front of him and did her work.

"I'll clean off your coat and hat if you let me." She offered that smile of hers as she tugged on his jacket. He didn't even protest, shrugging the thing off and handing it to her. "I-I'll be right back."

Lyn scuttled off, face red from whatever reason. She was cute when she was like that. Her song flickered and sang differently when they were close, dancing around and happy as the days went by. The rogue couldn't hear his own song, for whatever reason, but wondered if he could he would be able to hear his reaching out to hers. Reaching, wanting, longing for her attention. That's how he felt, that is.

Cole watched as she seemed to make snappy remarks back and forth between a teasing Lynn and grossed out Sera. The three really liked to say mean words to one another, but they never really meant them. Just like Krem and The Iron Bull. Once she was done, she'd set his things aside and stomped over to the two and promptly began to tear off her leather armor right there. Pieces of metal and straps, coats and boots went flying into the soft grass nearby.

He heard a choking noise from beside him and he peered over curiously, seeing Krem standing nearby. The warrior looked like he was coming to talk to Cole but had paused when Lyn started to yell at the two elves. Said woman was now in the tank top and shorts that she usually wore underneath her armor. The woman lunged forward and tackled Sera, wrestling on the edge of the river.

The sky was relatively clear, a few clouds billowing by as the sun cast it's warm shine down on everyone as they cleaned themselves off. The only ones who were having 'fun' at the moment being the two elves and his friend. Though they kept as quiet as possible, just in case anyone nearby heard them. The last thing they needed was an ambush while the Inquisitor was completely armorless.

Krem took a seat beside the blonde rogue and they simply sat there in silence for awhile. Cole could feel the unease radiating off of him, though couldn't get much more than that. Eventually the warrior finally spoke up.

"The two of you seem pretty close, hmm?" Krem spoke as he fiddled around with his armor, trying to hide the nervousness inside as he sat next to the spirit. Cole knew that he didn't like it when he did his 'thing' to him, finding it rather creepy. Unnatural. Not right. Just like many others. He didn't mind, though. The warrior did not seem to dislike him for it, however.

Cole stared out at his friend, seeing her grab Sera by her ankles as she began to drag her into the river. Said elf was trying her hardest not to scream as she was launched into the river, coming up for air seconds later with her short blonde hair plastered to her face. Inquisitor Lavellan laughed hysterically at the scene before her, Lyn smirked at the elf and shrugged.

"Sunlight flits through her hair, fiery strands glinting like the blaze within her soul." He described, looking at her rusty hair as the sun's rays seemed to bring out the red in it. He finally answered the question, "Yes."

"Well, that sounds about right." The warrior's armor clicked as he crossed his arms and looked over at the rogue as he crouched next to the bushes. He was mostly hidden as he watched over the camp. "She's definitely a tough on, ain't she? Despite not being from here." She was adjusting well.

"You watch her a lot. When she spars – with a fierce tenacity not seen in most. The little smirk she gives when she thinks she won. The way she-" Cole gasped, turning his ice blue gaze over to the warrior. They locked eyes for a second, blue on brown. "You  _like_  her."

Krem's lips twitched into a frown and Cole didn't even know how he was supposed to feel about that. The blonde rogue's eyebrows scrunched underneath his mop of hair. He knew that whenever Krem and Lyn talked or wrestled around, he felt kind of agitated. He didn't like it and didn't know why. It felt like it was itching, clawing, grabbing at his insides.

"It's not like I could take her from you, anyway." Krem's face was that of forced passivity. His feelings were murky and hidden. "I've seen the way she looks at you. I can't get in the way of that."

Cole felt his face warm up as he averted his gaze to the tree behind the warrior. Yes. She did look at him a certain way, didn't she? He liked that about her.

"But, if you hurt her …" The warrior's voice got lower, deadlier. When Cole's vision focused on the man, his face was scrunched in distaste. He didn't want to see her get hurt, he worried for her. Just like Cole did.

"You don't want to see the fire dim, dulled, weak. I won't do that, I want to  _protect_  her." He rocked back and forth on his feet, trying to offer reassurance.

"I know what you are." The warrior continued with almost a growl, "Know that if you slip up, I'll be there when you're not. I'll make you regret it." Cole stared through him, finally seeing the dam break as his thoughts and feelings poured forth. Krem couldn't keep them away for long, he felt so strongly about it.

" _'Take his place, make her see me instead. She deserves someone better, someone_ human _.'_  You can't! She's … she's  _mine_! Mine to protect, mine to defend – shelter, keep from harm!" Anger made it's way onto Cole's pale features, "I won't let you!"

His voice was raised, if only a little, but didn't seem to attract the attention of the three playing in the river. A few of the others seemed to peer over curiously, however. The lanky rogue felt his body begin to shake at the thought that Krem would try to take Lyn from him. He didn't like it. It hurt. The thought of it even being a possibility. The thought of her going to him instead. Seeking comfort in  _him_  instead, not Cole. Not …  _No_.

When had he started thinking of her as  _his_? The thought itself almost terrified him. Did he want to posses her? No. The look on Krem's face. His thoughts, his feelings, what he  _wanted_. The warrior was feeling the  _same thing_ , so was this normal?

"Then don't give me a reason to." Was Krem's answer as he frowned at the rogue, suppressing a shiver at hearing his inner thoughts being pulled forth. Splayed out for the world to see. He'll never get used to that. How could Lyn just …  _allow_  that to happen? No. Cole wasn't a bad kid, just different. If a bit creepy. But different, nonetheless.

Krem cared a lot about her and still feared that the young man would only end up hurting her. He, after all, was not completely human. Who was to say he wouldn't turn on her someday? The Chief did say he was a demon, but Lyn always insisted that wasn't the case. He was a  _spirit_  turned human. Solas said there wasn't really much of a distinction, that they were both one in the same. Either way, the warrior did not like it.

**First Person**

The next day I emerged from my tent rather early and I was greeted with the sun barely starting to light up the sky. Only a few people were awake then and I didn't even attempt to take down my tent, seeing as how I had to sneak away so that I didn't wake up Cole. He still slept with me all the time when we were out on missions and all the like. It made things easier. Less tents to put up. Not that I was bothered by it, it just meant more sleep for me.

I cinched the belt that went around my waist and adjusted my vambraces, hoping that they were put on correctly. I heard soft footfalls to my right, coming from the underbrush next to the trees. Sure enough, Solas stepped out and stared at me expectantly.

"A word, if you will." He spoke quietly, not wanting to wake people up. Or maybe it was because he didn't want to be heard? What had he been doing out there, anyway? Suspicious. I simply gave him a look and nodded minutely.

I grunted and walked over to him, feeling the familiar weight of my bow bouncing on my back as we made our way down toward the river. Once we were there, I watched as some leaves slowly drifted by on the surface of the clear water. It had astounded me yesterday, when I was swimming. Normally standing out in waist deep water made me nervous, because of the numerous amounts of litter and glass that was usually found on the bottoms of lakes back home. There were tons of lakes in Minnesota, you could hardly travel places without encountering one. So it wasn't that hard to find places to swim. Here, there was no such thing to hurt my feet. Unless I stepped on a jagged rock or was bit by some wildlife, that is.

I don't think I'll ever get used to the magnificent views that were shown to me, here. I sighed, looking up at the clear sky and breathing in the fresh air.

"This world truly is wonderful, Solas. One should not take it for granted." I felt my lips twitch as I looked over at the bald elf. He was staring at me curiously before I turned away again, "I'm assuming that is not why you wished to speak to me. What is it?"

I saw his posture straighten as he stared out passed the river next to me, "It would be a moot point to try to separate the two of you, now." He finally spoke, his voice even. Straight to the point, I suppose he knows by now not to dance around the subject. "As it would likely upset Cole."

"I probably wouldn't have listened anyway." I adjusted some of my straps again, feeling uncomfortable. "He is important to me. I would not push him away simply because you don't agree with it."

"Though I must concede, he may very well become fully human after all. I never thought to see it." He continued, seemingly not hearing my snarky jibe just moments ago. I turned to look at him, eyebrow raised.

"Something tells me this isn't why you wanted to talk, though."

"He is quite attached to you, it would be fairly easy to hurt him. Manipulate him, even." Solas clasped his hands behind his back and his voice turned deadly serious, "Should such a thing come to pass, it would come with …. _tragic consequences._ "

My thoughts were put on pause as I stood there, frozen. His words took awhile to register, but when they did. I opened my mouth to speak, feeling a bit nervous. He'd killed those mages that summoned his friend, Wisdom, to this world. So I knew that he meant serious business.

"W-Wait. Did … did you just subtly threaten me?"

"Take it how you will." The elf's chin was held high as he turned to look at me and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. He would so readily protect Cole and that in itself was enough to make me feel a bit of respect for him, despite the fact that he'd just given an implied threat. Cole needed these kinds of people in his life, people that felt he was important enough to fight for. Important enough to be there for, whether he liked it or not. I barked out a laugh, seeing his usually blank face turn confused. A frown formed and his eyebrows knitted together.

"Don't worry, if I did somehow hurt him … I probably wouldn't even fight back if you attacked me." I waved him off, trying to get rid of the nervousness that had settled in my stomach. Solas did not know me that well. Just that I was an impulsive and angry woman, so it made sense that he would not know that I'd never hurt Cole. He didn't know just how important the spirit was to me, did he? I tacked on at the end, "You're still an ass, though."

The elf sighed, looking like he'd decided it was just best not to try and understand my odd outbursts. To him, I was probably just another weird human.

"I fear what may happen if he loses his purpose." Solas elaborated and I bit down the urge to sigh. This again. Though, I had enough time to think about that. Since our last conversation was pretty much about the possibility of Cole becoming something he was not. I spent a lot of time dwelling on that last argument … a lot of time.

"He is the same compassionate young man that you knew yesterday. Months ago, even. It's just who he is." I turned my brown gaze out toward the river again, seeing the sun casting it's rays on the sparkling water. "Losing that will be losing an essential part of himself. He wouldn't let that happen and neither will I, if I have any say in it."

"I am almost surprised you did not threaten my life like you did Vivienne." Solas paused for a moment and corrected himself, "Ah. Apologies, _Madame de Fer._ "

"Well, that's an easy one. It's because I hold some semblance of respect for you, despite your ass-hattery. Vivienne is just a bitch, there is no changing that." I explained, seeing his gaze turn flat.

"Ass-hattery … I see. I had not accounted for that." He sounded almost sarcastic. Almost. Damn, I didn't know Solas could be so … sassy. I snorted, looking back toward the camp and seeing everyone starting to wake up and get ready to go. We were quiet for a few beats before I spoke up again.

"I need to go pack up my tent." I waved and left, not looking back to see his expression. That was possibly the first semi-civil conversation we'd had, ever. Today was going to be a bad day, wasn't it?


	24. Realization

Since Solas and I had actually had a semi-civil conversation earlier that day, I'd assumed the day was ruined. Doomed for bad luck, because shit like that doesn't happen for a reason. And I'd thought I was right, at first. Since I'd had my first encounter with a great bear here in the Emerald Graves not long after that. Now let me tell you one thing, the bears here are  _fucking huge._  They're gray and at least twice the size of the ones I saw in the Hinterlands.

At least they didn't appear in packs.

I'd panicked and unloaded a whole magazine from my gun into the oversized furball, leaving it twitching on the ground with barely any life left in it. Bull had to be the one to put it out of it's misery with his gigantic sword. I was too busy hyperventilating in the background to even reload and finish the job. It's funny, because I got more worked up over the bear than I did with the terror demon yesterday.

Another thing, before we'd split up earlier that day, Lavellan had explained to everyone that we were to meet up in another three to four days at the Inquisition camp that had our horses. I was, of course, stuck with Bull and his Chargers, Dorian, Varric and Cole. At least I wouldn't have to put up with Vivienne's judgmental stares or Solas' disapproving glances. The two mages seriously rubbed me the wrong way.

Guess that's just bound to happen, though. I got along  _fine_  with the others. Mostly.

I was tuning out their banter, as per usual, but one thing seemed to have caught my attention. My ear twitched and I focused on Bull, who was talking to Cole not too far away. Was it just me or did the Qunari look back at me with a grin?

"Yes … when we get back, you're going to spend an evening with a nice lady named Candy." I heard Bull say to Cole, putting his big hand on top of his hat. My friend tried to peer up at him from the bottom of his floppy hat,

"Can I lift my feet?"

"She's gonna lift a lot more than –  _Ah!_ " I had grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be an apple that was in Krem's hand as he walked beside me, and chucked it with all my might at the back of Bull's head. It hit him with a  _'thud!'_ , falling softly in the grass just behind him. He turned around, rubbing the back of his head with a frown on his face. I tried to push away the image my brain seemed to conjure of Cole curled up next to a different woman, but failed. Cole whipped around to look at me with widened blue eyes, mouth opened like he had been about to say something.

"I'll lift you off the ground and  _chuck you off that cliff!"_  I practically screeched as I pointed my shaking hand at Bull, feeling anger starting to course through my body. What the hell was wrong with him?! Was he purposely trying to get under my skin for what I did back in the Hinterlands?

"Gee, girlie. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say you were  _jealous_." Bull smirked over at me and I felt my face heat up. My threat bounced off of him harmlessly. It was like I was a chihuahua threatening to bite at his ankles.

Also. I was totally not jealous.

"S-Shut up!" I stuttered, crossing my arms and looking away with a scowl on my face. "I don't care."

"You're not really that good at lying, Screech. Might wanna work on that." Varric chuckled and I saw a Dalish and a few of the other Chargers tense, taking out their weapons. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted when some men jumped out of the bushes just ahead of us. They were dressed in armored chest plates with matching lion heads. I cursed, recognizing them as the Freeman we were supposed to driving out of the area. Or  _'party crashing'_  as Bull called it.

Everyone readied themselves as our enemies pulled out their swords, an archer in the back notched an arrow and fired – signaling the start of battle. Bull strafed to the side, the arrow completely missing him as he lunged forward with a cry. There weren't very many of them, which confused me at first because why would they attack us if they knew they were outnumbered?

Shrugging, I pulled out my gun and began my work at getting rid of my bullets. My hands were shaking from the adrenaline rush I usually got when people were fighting, but I was able to hold it steady. Kind of. Whenever I knew that I had a clear shot, I would put a bullet into someone's head or chest area. I'd, of course, missed a lot and had to reload but I did  _alright_  nonetheless.

My suspicions from earlier were proved correct when I saw a few more jump out from the treeline, but other than that I think the rest may have run because of the loud noise my gun was making. The resounding cracks and bangs echoed in the sky and I faintly noted that the wildlife, again, was dead silent. The only sounds coming from the clashing of metal on metal or the screams from the battle.

At first it had surprised the enemies, giving my friends enough time to take advantage of the distraction. I heard one of the men scream and start to run away. I don't know what happened to that guy, to be honest. But by the time the battle was done, everyone was looting the bodies. Bull was talking about trying to find information for any nearby camps we could raid.

I sighed, adjusting the straps on my armor with a frown on my face. I still did not like killing people, despite having lived in this world for so long. I didn't like it, but I've learned to tolerate it. I still couldn't help the stab of remorse every time I looked down at the dead bodies on the battlefield. Still couldn't help the nightmares I got and the horrible way my thoughts would turn dark at times. I couldn't help it...

Demons and animals were easier to kill, however. Humans? Not so much.

I heard a sigh from right beside me as hands grabbed at my jacket. I flinched and snapped my gaze in that direction, seeing Krem tugging at it. He looked at me with an exasperated expression on his face.

"What-"

"Just take it off." He stated and my face turned red as I backed away. What the hell?! He seemed to have noticed my expression, because his face flushed as well and he stammered out. "N-No, y-your  _jacket_! Your armor is not b-belted correctly."

He must have noticed me fiddling around with it all day. Oh. Jesus, I really made things awkward didn't I? I shrugged my jacket off and allowed him to fix the belts, making sure everything was fit snugly. All the while I stood still, my face set in a small scowl. Apparently I still had yet to learn, because I'd forgotten a couple of the belts for my breastplate. I grunted, feeling my armor get tugged at a few times.

"Sorry." I apologized, not only for being an awkward idiot but for not being able to put my armor on correctly.

"It's fine, we all go through this point in our training." Krem reassured, cinching the last belt and standing up straight and offering me a smile. "I mean, usually it's  _before_  you go out into battle. But you're not one to follow the rules, are you?"

"Logic dictates I should be dead by now. I don't even follow the rules of  _nature_." I drawled with a flat look in my eye, pulling my leather jacket back on.

"When we get back to Skyhold, we could spar while you're in your armor. Should get used to wearing it." He explained as he tapped my breastplate and I couldn't agree more. I needed to learn how to move around more fluidly now that I was wearing the heavy leather. It didn't help that I had a breastplate and some shoulder pieces to add onto the weight. Who was I to complain, though? I was protected and less likely to get chopped to pieces. "We can't have you getting that pretty little face of yours cut up, now can we?"

"Oh, hah  _hah_." I replied blandly, "That's what  _you're_  for. Warriors tank while the squishies like us stay in the back."

"... Tank?" Krem sounded confused, raising a brow down at me. I facepalmed. Oh right, they wouldn't know what tanking is.

"A term from my world to describe the meatshields in the party."

"Fwahahaha! M-Meatshield?! That's a little harsh, don't you think?" He laughed, obviously amused at my logic for battle.

"Well it's true isn't it? You guys go up there in your shiny armor and wave your ass big swords around to distract them, while we sit in the back and do the  _real_  work."

"Now that's goin too far." Bull grumbled, his arms crossed as he squinted down at me. I offered a shrug, my lips curved into a small smirk. His eye narrowed, but before he could continue Varric butted in.

"Now now, guys. We all work together as a team, that's how we get things done." The dwarf had his oversized crossbow resting on his back as he held his hands up in a mock surrender. He smiled up at everyone, obviously amused at our antics.

"We found some documents, you might wanna see this!" Rocky spoke from a small distance away, holding up some folded pieces of parchment. He was standing above a body that was riddled with arrows and I forced myself to look away. Bull and a few of the others left to walk in their direction, leaving me to stand at the edge of the small path that acted as a road.

I felt my hair being brushed to the side of my face and I fought the urge to flinch away again. What is it with people and touching me today?! I snapped my gaze to my left, seeing Cole standing there with his hand still clasped in my hair. He held a small bunch of the rusty locks gently beneath his fingertips. My face faltered and I immediately felt bad for almost snapping at him for no reason at all. Crap.

Well, it's a good thing I didn't.

"I got you this. It reminded me of your hair – the sun makes it red like fire, glinting and glimmering." He lifted a small red flower up and I felt nervous all of a sudden, butterflies in my stomach. Cole's head was tilted in such a way that his hat hid most of his face, but I could see the pink that seemed to dust his cheeks. I swallowed, trying to mentally beat my nerves into the corner so that I could formulate a coherent reply.

"I a-ah... T-thanks." I stuttered out and felt myself turn even redder.  _Smooth._

Before I could take it from him, he smiled minutely and began to put it in my hair. I felt my skin buzz at the contact, but otherwise didn't protest his attention. So I suppose now I'm going to be walking around all day with a red flower in my hair, which is quite uncharacteristic of me. However, since Cole gave it to me I couldn't find it in me to even take it out. When we continued our trek to a Freeman camp they'd located, I ignored the looks I seemed to have been getting because of the thing in my hair. Even so, I felt oddly happy that I'd gotten the little gift from him.

* * *

It was a long day and we'd ambushed only two camps and saved a few travelers from the assholes that we were assigned to get rid of. Now I understood why Lynn had wanted to come here to get rid of them, because they were completely terrorizing the people to get what they wanted. Being deserters from both sides of the war, they didn't seem to have any qualms with hurting innocent people. War. I really hated war.

No one seemed to get seriously hurt, thanks to our meatshields and mages, but I did notice how Cole and Krem seemed to fight side by side every time we got into a scuffle. They usually weren't too far off from me while I turned our enemies into pincushions/target dummies (when I used my gun), and I silently appraised their teamwork. The two didn't even have to speak to one another in order to get around and dispatch the enemies efficiently. With only the occasional look that seemed to pass between them when their shoulders bumped during battle. Well, one thing is for certain, none of the enemies got close enough to attack me. For that, I was grateful.

At the end of the day, we were settling down at an Inquisition camp near a shallow bend in the river. I smirked, putting my hand on my hip as I looked over at the two in question as they still seemed to be standing side by side. Krem would occasionally glance over at Cole with a smirk. The blonde rogue did not seem to notice, however, as he stood there silently and observed everyone as they went about their business.

"You guys have some good teamwork, I've got to admit." I commented offhandedly, getting an incredulous look out of Dorian and a rather loud cackle out of Varric. Krem's lips twitched into a small frown and Cole looked blank, as usual, as they stared over at me. I blinked confusedly.

"Ohhhoho _ho_  maaaaan, Screech." The dwarf spoke between chuckles as he bent forward. "Y-You're joking right now, right?"

"No?" I rose a brow, looking down at him as tears seemed to pool in his eyes in his amusement. What the hell was so funny? "Can't I pay them a compliment without getting laughed at?" I huffed as I stomped off to put up my tent. People, I swear.

"That girl is as clueless as most men." Dalish murmured, getting a few 'Hey!'s out of the party and I ignored the rest of their little conversation.

I took off my bag and began to put up a tent for myself that the Inquisition seemed to have stored away in their little camps. Most of the others usually just used the tents that were already put up, but I always put my own up for obvious reasons. Sharing my space just made me nervous, unless I really trusted someone.

"The food out here is absolutely dreary." Dorian grumbled unhappily as I finished putting things together. I turned around and I saw him looking down at the small rations that we usually carried in our packs. The solemn look on his face almost had me laughing. It wasn't that bad, was it?

"Do you need me to fetch you a fainting couch?" I jeered, remembering one of Vivienne's comments awhile back. Even though I hated the woman, that had me giggling like an idiot. Fainting couch. I got a scoff out of the Tevinter.

"I am not Madame Vivienne."

"You're right, you could always just faint into Bull's arms." I agreed, nodding my head sagely. The mage seemed to almost  _contemplate_  my statement, causing me to chuckle lightly.

"Oy! 'm gonna go fishing, anyone wanna join?" I heard Dalish yell from the other side of camp and I perked up. Fishing? I always loved fishing. I stood up and jogged up to her with a wave, completely forgetting about the conversation I'd just been in. Bah, he probably finds my absence a blessing. The blonde elf nodded to me, her grey eyes crinkling as she smiled.

We both got in a regular set of clothing and made our way over to the river, which was just through the bushes and a small outcropping of trees. It was mostly hidden from the camp, but we were within screeching distance if anything happened. Not only that, but we both had our weapons on us, anyway.

I watched as the spindly elf woman waded into the knee deep water in her bare feet, taking her time as to not slip. Dalish crouched forward, holding her hands in the river and waited. Soon enough, she twitched and stood abruptly. A rather large fish came flying onto the shore at my feet, landing in the soft grass and flopping around. I blinked, brown eyes widened. What?! Back home we used fishing poles or maybe even spears but … this woman was using her damn _hands!_

"What's the matter, don't think you can do it?" The blonde elf grinned as she wiggled her fingers and I huffed, slowly wading in the water to stand right next to her. She began to teach me how to grab them from the water. It was all a game of waiting for the right time, really. It was incredibly odd. My bow lay forgotten on the shore with a rope and my quiver of arrows.

I couldn't really seem to get the hang of it, at all. Figures. Nothing ever comes easy for me and I could feel myself getting irritated. Dalish already had three fish sitting on the shore not far away. I swatted at a fish, feeling inadequate. Maybe I'll just go get my bow and bow fish! Fuck yeah!

"You have to be gentle and calm, coax it into your hands." A voice spoke from right behind me. I squealed, flying into a standing position and whirling around. I was about to lash out at the person who had just spoke into my ear. So frigging close!

When I turned around I saw a rather concerned looking Cole standing there. He blinked a few times before responding.

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"How did you sneak up on me?! I'm in the water!"  _Rogues!_

"The water doesn't mind, I listen to where my feet want to go." He replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Dalish chuckled from not far away but otherwise remained quiet. I looked down and noticed that he was still in his leather pants and … his shoes were still on.

"Cole … you're supposed to take your shoes  _off_  when you come into the water." I pointed out, gaze trailing back up to his face. He, at least, had enough sense to take off his leather jacket as he stood there in his white undershirt. His hat was missing, as well. I assumed he didn't want it drifting away in the river by accident.

"Oh." Was his blank reply as he bent down to take them off, but I stopped him with a grin on my face.

"It's a little too late now, might as well just wait." I put my hands on his shoulders and turned to look at the glittering water, "Do you want to help?"

When I looked back he seemed to contemplate my offer, "The fish don't like it. It's dry, parched, and they can't breathe. They're scared." My shoulders slumped in response.

"Sorry." I guess that's one of the reasons I never saw him eating meat (Or almost anything, really. But usually it was fruit or sweets.), he would be able to tell they were scared before they were killed for food. That one's obvious, how had I not seen that? Shit.

"Oops!" I heard Dalish yell and I snapped my gaze over to her, seeing a fish fly in my direction. What the hell!? I lifted my hands and caught it, feeling the slimy bugger flop around in my hands and I bit back a shriek as I tried to hold onto it. The fish had to have been as big as, if not bigger, than my forearm. It resembled a salmon of some sort, it's grey scales glinting in the sun. I fumbled around before I saw Cole's hands come into view as he tried to wrangle the thing out of my grasp. He was able to grab onto it. But not before I saw the thing slap him in the face, causing him to drop it into the water with a loud  _'splash!'._  He was just fish slapped.

"Ah!" Cole staggered back and I simply watched, my hands held up, as he tumbled backward and into the river. I stood there, a blank look on my face as he emerged and gasped. The water wasn't exactly warm, so it must have felt awfully cold to him.

"Heh, fingers slipped." I heard the dalish elf say from the shore as she grabbed her catches and strung them up to take to the camp. The fact that I hadn't even been able to help her didn't register as I stumbled forward to my friend.

"Are you alright?" I asked as I knelt down to help him up, the bottom of my shirt getting wet as I leaned forward. His white-blonde hair was completely plastered to his face, hiding his eyes and most of his face. He kind of reminded me of one of those sheepdogs back home. With that image in my head, I burst into a fit of giggles.

"I-It hurts." Cole coughed from his spot in the river as he reached up and lifted his hair out of his eyes. I felt kinda bad for laughing at him after that and I sighed, grabbing his arm to help him. The cool water felt crisp on my skin as I reached into the water and hefted him up, he stumbled forward a little but he was able to stand on his own.

I was about to apologize for laughing at him when he got hurt, but when I peered up at him the words kind of just died in my mouth. I don't think I've ever seen his blue eyes without his hair obstructing my view, before. Now that it was wet and pushed aside, I was gifted with such a chance. The only thing I could think about right then was how gorgeous they were. And –

Cole's lips curled into a little smile and I felt my face heat up as I turned away and cursed underneath my breath. I silently wondered if there would ever be a time where I  _wouldn't_  bumble around like some fool around him. "W-We ahh... should probably get dried off."

I turned away and began to climb my way back up onto dry land, not even looking back to see his expression. Not dealing with this. Nope. Not now. I walked over to my stuff that was abandoned during my attempts at catching fish barehanded. I bet Dalish was using her magic to get them! That bitch. I knew she was a mage.

I grumbled underneath my breath as I strapped my bow and quiver on my back and wrung out my shirt. I remained crouched on the soft grass. I wasn't really that wet, just from the waist down. Not like Cole was, anyway. My poor friend was completely drenched, like a drowned rat. I turned my gaze over to him, seeing him facing away and squeezing out his shirt much like I had.

 _God damn it._ I always took pride in the fact that the male body never really effected me in any way. Any body, really. I never _looked_ at people like that, it was just a thing. For the longest time I'd thought there was something simply wrong with me, or that I was 'broken'. But eventually just accepted it as another oddity in my life. But for some God's forsaken reason, from my place on the ground not far away I could not help but let my eyes trace over his lean figure. The fact that his clothing was wet did not help and left little for the imagination. My gaze paused at one point and I felt my face flush once again as I looked away.

Nope. Not thinking it. Not at all. No. I sat there, fighting in my mind and trying to beat the image mentally out of my head. Cole's fighting style required a lot of crouching and pouncing, since he was a dual wielding rogue and all. Not only that, but whenever I saw him watching people in Skyhold he was usually crouched somewhere. Normally in some bushes so … he had some pretty well built thighs and – no. Nope. Don't do it, Lyn. Cole had a nice ass.

_Shit!_

I peered up at him through my messy hair and saw him staring down at me curiously. I looked like a kid that just got caught with their hands in the cookie jar as I sat there in the grass with my hands held up in front of me. I was unsure if he heard me, but I had no intention of finding out.

"Eh... heh  _heh_. What's that? Dalish is calling us for dinner?" I rattled out distractedly as I stood up and darted into the bushes and over toward camp.

Sometimes I really hated my life.

I screeched inwardly, not only at the fact that I'd likely gotten caught checking my friend out. But at the fact that I'd never done that.  _Never._  I remembered going to classes in middle school and listening to the teachers prattle on about hormones and all the like, but I never really listened. Because I never had to deal with my menstrual cycles. Never had to deal with these kinds of things in my life, even the feelings or urges. I'd gotten curious at one point, which was why I had an ex. But they're called exes for a reason, yes?

What was different about me  _now?_  Was it because I was attracted to him? So, it took me being attracted to someone for me to actually start to  _look_  at someone? I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Fucking hell, feelings shit everything up. I grumbled under my breath and sat on a log near the fire to dry off, crossing my arms with a scowl on my face.

"What's the matter, Screech? You look agitated." Varric, for the most part, actually sounded concerned. My eyebrow twitched and I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it. What would I even say, anyway? _'Oh yeah, Varric. Let me regale you on the inner workings of my mind. By the way, I think your adopted son is hot.'_

Nah, I think I'll pass.

I grunted, staring blankly at the fire. I heard another grunt and I peered over, seeing Grim looking at me. The blonde man from the Chargers that never talked and only made grunting noises to convey his messages. I grunted again, turning back to glare at the fire like it did something to wrong me.

"They're communicating." I heard one of the Chargers say in fake awe, but I didn't look over to see who it was.

It took a minute, but eventually I heard the bushes rustle at my left and I stared intently at the fire like it held life's answers. Perhaps if I look busy, he won't ask any questions. Oh, how unlikely that would be. I heard Varric chuckle underneath his breath,

"You're completely drenched. Did you go for a swim?" He asked and I assumed he was talking to Cole, who slowly ambled over to the dwarf and took a seat.

"I've never been swimming before." He replied in a chipper voice, "The water's cool embrace was refreshing, crisp. But it hurt when it got in my nose."

"Glad to hear it, Kid."

That night I retreated to my tent early, feeling a wee bit nervous that he'd try to talk to me in front of everyone else. It was alright when we were alone to talk, since things came easier in private. But I suppose I'm not really one for being open to everyone else about how I felt about things. Though I never got the chance to wait up to speak to him, because as I fell asleep before he could return to the tent.

I was jolted awake because could have sworn I heard a muffled yell. My whole damn body twitched in response and I sat up and looked around in the dark tent. I was alone, which struck me as odd. By now, Cole usually was at least sitting in here with me.

Slowly, I poked my head out of the tent and saw an Inquisition officer looking off into the distance toward the road. My eyebrows scrunched, seeing the sky starting to slowly brighten. Perhaps I was just in a semi-sleep state and was simply hearing things? It was still hard to see outside but –

Pausing, I held my breath and listened. I heard something, but wasn't sure of what. It sounded like whispers coming from over by the river. It didn't look like anyone was awake, but who could be out this early in the damn morning? Solas had been out by himself before, which was kind of weird. Feeling a bit curious, I slipped my boots on and slowly stepped out of my tent into the morning air. Here in the Emerald Graves, the mornings weren't as cold as the Hinterlands or up at Skyhold.

The fact that I thought I heard a yell had me on guard and I nudged the Inquisition officer, whispering for her to wake the others. She seemed startled, but I didn't wait for her answer as I crouched and slowly made my way into the bushes. If anything, I could always just yell and the few people that  _were_  awake could come aid me.

It was odd, the fact that I was even able to keep my footsteps so silent in the first place. My walking was always so clunky and loud. Guess I never actually tried. Either that or my Native American ancestors were granting me the strength and knowledge – no? Okay. Bad joke.

The whispering died off, eventually and I was able to see the clearing where we went to go catch our fish, seeing a few dark lumps laying in the soft grass not far away. I scrunched my eyebrows, still standing just out of sight and didn't see anything move.

Should I wait for the others? Because I swore those lumps were bodies laying near the river. My brown eyes scanned the area carefully and a glint caught my eye. Cole's hat. I took an intake of sharp breath and didn't even think as I darted forward, feeling dread settle into my stomach. What if one of those bodies were his? What if he was seriously injured? Fuck. What the hell was he doing out here alone?!

My footsteps were no longer quiet as I stumbled about three feet from the bodies I saw laying in the grass. I saw small dark stains, which I assumed was blood, splattered around one of the bodies. He was laying on his back, eyes wide open and staring blankly at the sky. He was dead, obviously, judging from all of the blood on his body. His chest armor was what got me, though. He was one of the Freeman that we'd been hunting down.

Cursing underneath my breath I looked at the other one, but he was dressed similarly. No Cole. Fuck. Shit. This couldn't be happening. This must be some horrible nightmare, right? I was just dreaming, having another one of my episodes. Yeah. That's it.

I heard a groan and I looked over to the less bloodied body and saw him twitching. He was still alive. My face contorting into rage, I stalked over to him and kicked his leg.

"Where is he?" I spoke hoarsely, feeling the anger starting to come back. I was going to slip into a rage if I didn't get answers soon and I knew it. I've been doing pretty good lately with not doing that, but I was not in the mood for stopping to take some deep breaths. I was far beyond that as I felt my emotions starting to spill over and take hold, completely overruling any logic my brain tried to throw at it. It didn't escape my attention how the man moved his head to my right, upstream and I peered over. "That way?"

The man groaned, shaking his head. "Fuck off." He spat weakly, trying to get into a seated position. I was having none of it and I lifted my foot and kicked him as hard as I could in the middle of the chest. I heard him wheeze and fall back on the ground, his armor making a loud clanging noise. While he was regaining himself I pulled out the rope I had been planning to use for bow fishing and bound his hands in front of his body. His arms were pretty cut up from battle, blood seeping out of his wounds and onto his long-sleeved shirt.

"Did you follow us, is that it?" I ground out, throwing his bound hands into his lap and grabbing his hair to sit him up. He let out a cry, his one eye looking up at me. The other one was swollen shut and he already looked half dead, to be honest.

"What makes you think I'd tell you anythin'?" The man sneered and I grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked on it in response, getting a grunt out of him. I pulled his head so that he was forced to look up at me, my face contorted into semi-hysterical rage.

"What happened?!" I heard a yell from behind me and I didn't take my eyes off of this man in front of me. He knew where my friend was. He knew. I know he did, because he was with his buddies when he was ambushed. Why didn't they just ambush the camp while we were sleeping? Why just take him? "Screech?"

I recognized the voice as Varric's and I felt my body begin to shake. The light in the sky was enough to allow me to make out the man's features, now. He had dark brown hair the fell just passed his shoulders, tied into a low ponytail. He had very little facial hair and looked rather young. What was a young man like this doing in war? What business did he have going around to terrorize people like his buddies did?

"Oh … shit." Varric spoke again, no doubt taking in the situation and the menacing glare I was currently giving the man in front of me. "Listen, Lyn. You can't … you need to calm down." He never used my real name.

I let out a shuddering breath and I couldn't seem to tear my gaze from the man below me. I wanted to … I wanted to  _kill him._  It was his fault that Cole was gone. His fault that he was possibly hurt. Possibly dead! No. I couldn't think like that, I would have saw his body down here too if he were dead. Not dead. Please not dead.

**Third Person**

Varric was used to Lyn always looking grumpy and angry as she crossed her arms and seemed to keep at a distance. He also knew that wasn't who she really was. She was a good kid, he knew. Her heart was in the right place. The dwarf did not, however, expect to ever see her expression like it was right then.

Her rust colored hair was messily draped into her face and she had this … wild look in her eyes. Face contorted into complete hatred. The animosity practically rolled off of her shaking body. He'd seen that look before, when they thought they were about to do something they'd later regret. Something he would never wish on someone else. He's seen it all before, like a vicious cycle.

"You don't need to do this." Varric spoke up, trying to get through to her. Lyn didn't seem to hear him as she started to kick the man, yelling and asking where her friend was. It was a heart-wrenching sight, the woman looked like she was about to break down into tears. The man would let out grunts and wheeze as she sent her foot into his gut over and over again.

"Andraste's ass, what's wrong with her?!" The dwarf heard Stitches ask incredulously and Bull walked forward to appraise Lyn's handiwork as she continued to kick the shit out of the guy and scream.

"What happened?" Was all the Qunari asked, as if what was occurring was the most normal thing in the world. He stood there, burly arms crossed over his large chest as he looked down at the small dwarf. Varric shook his head,

"Cole is missing and she's – She. God I can't watch this …" He grumbled, putting his fingers through his hair and turning around. Varric didn't even want to know what had happened to the kid and didn't want to really think about it. He'd damn near adopted him and could feel it too, the loss. How would they even begin to find out where they'd taken him? And why?

"He is going to tell me where he is." He heard Lyn say in a bland tone, making him snap his gaze in her direction. The woman had her dagger out as she stood over the beaten looking man. He stared up at her with a defiant glare. "I'll make him."

"He's prolly dead anyway, hun. No point chasin' a dead trail." The man kicked out at Lyn but was rewarded with yet another foot to the stomach.

"Fuck off!" She screamed, eyes widened as she looked down at her weapon. The woman seemed to steel herself before frowning down at the man in front of her. This  _had_  to be done.

"No. You can't do that, Lyn. Back away from him!" Varric watched as Krem tried to walk up to the girl, but was stopped by Bull who looked down at him with a frown on his scarred face. He turned back to the girl, who still hadn't taken her eyes off of the Freeman.

"I used to be Ben-Hassrath … I'd be more suited to this job than you, girl." Bull spoke in an ominous tone and the dwarf saw the Freeman's eyes almost bulge at his statement as he started to tremble. So, he knew.

"If he won't speak to me, you can take over." Lyn replied and knelt down, holding her dagger out. The metal glinted in the morning sun, "Where did they take my friend? If you tell me, I won't let my Qunari buddy over here hurt you." She spoke in a sweet tone that made Varric feel sick.

"You're just going to let her do this, Chief? Do you realize how this'll effect her!?" Krem protested, but otherwise didn't try to shove passed his superior. Bull shook his head,

"Sometimes you have to do questionable actions to get things you need." The Qunari explained, "If we don't get the information out of this man, Cole could die. If he hasn't already … "

" _She_  doesn't have to be the one to do it!" He bit back.

"No! No no no! Alright, please just don't kill me!" The man broke down, looking up at Bull with terror clear in his brown eyes. "They're keepin' people captive in a Veridium Mine about a mile upstream! Sister Costeau sells em off for coin. M' sorry! S-So sorry!"

"Chargers! Get battle ready!" Bull ordered, turning around and walking back to camp. They all yelled an affirmative as they scuttled back to camp. Varric walked up to the girl and put his chubby hand on her shoulder. Normally she would have flinched away, but she simply stood there looking down at their captive with a contemplative look on her face. He knew what she was thinking. She blamed him for Cole going missing. She probably wanted him dead.

"Lyn … come on. Just leave him be, we might need him." Varric tried to reason, almost begging her not to go down that road. The look in her eye, he didn't like it. Lyn didn't have to use her dagger yet and had only kicked the crap out of the man. The girl's arms were starting to shake, "What would he think? What do you think Cole would think if you just killed this man in a fit of rage?"

Varric only ever used their actual names when he was dead serious. And he was. The girl did not need this on her conscience after what's all happened already. He's heard mumblings from Cole about her night terrors and episodes that she sometimes had because of her transference to this world. Because of the shock to her system to suddenly have to kill or be killed in this harsh reality.

The dwarf was just now starting to completely believe her story and that alone almost scared him. The thought that she had to adapt to such things so quickly. Most wouldn't be able to.

"You're right. I will not kill him in a fit of rage, Varric." Lyn sounded less hysterical now as she crouched down again to the man. "Look at me." She ordered as she lifted her dagger up to the bottom of the man's chin. He started to hyperventilate and Varric took a small step forward, unsure of whether he should try and stop her.

"P-Please. D-Don't –" He hiccuped, "I-I only joined b-because I had to!"

"I know." Lyn smiled and swung her hand, socking him in the face with a left hook. She stood back up as the man lay on the ground twitching, looking dazed as he stared up at the clear sky. The woman stared down at him disdainfully, "You're still an ass, though."

The woman scoffed and turned around, stalking off toward the camp as she sheathed her dagger. Varric let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

**First Person**

He couldn't have been more than twenty years old, probably about the same age as me. He was an asshole, sure, but Varric was right. He didn't deserve to die. I wondered, though, if maybe it was just my own cowardice that kept me from plunging that knife into the man's throat. Just the thought of feeling the warm substance on my arms made my hairs raise in disgust. Not just at the idea of having it on me, but at the fact that I've done it before. A few times.

Upon closer inspection of the scene, I'd noticed that it wasn't only his hat that he'd left behind. He'd also left pieces of his armor and his daggers, which had been laying next to the bodies. It appeared as thought he'd been down by the stream for whatever reason and was likely ambushed by these assholes. Why? I didn't know, didn't really want to think about it. The captive Freeman we kept with us mentioned selling people for coin. Did they not know he was a rogue and could possibly kill them in their sleep? What a bunch of idiots! I hope Cole killed them. I really did.

I belted my armor on correctly this time, walking out of the Inquisition camp and up to everyone else as they stood by and waited for everyone to get ready. The Iron Bull was pretty set on saving Cole, just as I was. I knew then, that he wasn't as bad as I'd been making him out to be in my head as of late. He cared for him, whether he admitted it or not.

It wasn't long until we were making our way up the road to the Veridium Mine that Dorian had said he knew the location of. The Tevinter had been oddly quiet during the whole fiasco. He'd been tasked with healing the Freeman captive enough so he could walk and lead us there. Said captive was still shaking in fear at the sight of the massive Qunari as he was pushed forward at sword point.

"You wouldn't have had to do that, you know." Krem spoke from my side as I pretty much stomped in the direction of the mine. He must have been referring to the fact that it probably would have scarred me, no doubt. I snorted. It was true, yes, but –

"I'd do anything for the one I love." I sounded confident, "Even if it meant having to deal with another nightmare."

I noticed how Varric seemed to falter in his steps ahead of me before I mentally played back what I'd just said. Oooooh.  _Well, shit._  The concept of love, at one point in my life, would have made me recoil. But, it seemed a lot has been changing as of late. In more ways than one, it seemed. There's really no point in denying it, now. I don't even know  _how_  I didn't see it until just then. How had I gone that long without even so much as a thought? How stupid.

"I see …" Krem muttered and I looked over at him, seeing a sad smile on his face. I nodded to the warrior and continued onward without much of a thought, eyes even fiercer than before. I refused to allow another person to be taken from me. Never again.


	25. Turbulance

The last thing Cole recalled was sitting down at the river, enjoying the water. He'd intended to wash off, since Dorian suggested it not long after Lyn retreated to her tent. Something about smelling like fish and how 'The repugnant odor would drive any woman off'. Sometimes the rogue wondered if he would ever understand what goes through the Tevinter's mind. Lyn didn't seem to care, either way. However, before he knew it, he'd heard footsteps not far off and only had enough time to grab his dagger and crouch behind some bushes.

As it seemed, the Freeman were scouting the area for some reason or another. Walking upstream to their destination, but they were pretty close to their camp.  _Almost too close_.

One of the men stopped, sniffing the air like a dog. "Do you smell that? I think there might be a camp nearby." He must have been referring to the fire. Cole crouched low, ready to strike if need be.

"Sister Costeau isn't gonna be happy knowin we didn't bring no one." The younger of the group offered, his hair tied up and out of the way. "Where's she sellin' em off to, anyway?"

Even from this far away, the youngest one asked the question not out of just curiosity but out of doubt. He regretted joining the Freeman after some of the things he saw them doing. It had been a bout of childish whim that brought him along, following a superior officer to desert and form the rough group that now called themselves the Freeman of the Dales.  _'Bad idea, these people aren't what I thought they were.'_

"That's none of our business, boy." The older one snapped back and his shoulders slumped in response.

"Is there a camp over there that I see?" One of them squinted and Cole could have sworn he felt his stomach drop. The only one on watch at the moment was a few Inquisition officers that kept an eye out on the roads and whatnot. The others were still sleeping and it was barely dawn, yet. They wouldn't be up for another hour, at the very least.

If it meant keeping his friends alive. It was worth it. Cole popped out of the bushes and slashed at one of the men. The one he'd gotten went down like a sack of potatoes and he turned to go to the next one, but was knocked to the ground by a shield. The rogue felt the air leave his lungs as he crashed into the dirt, forgetting that he should have probably been wearing his armor before attacking so blindly.

But his friends might get hurt …

That's when everything seemed to get hazy as he was knocked around and his vision blurred. He could have sworn he heard the others arguing silently as he lay on the ground. The youngest of the group had spoke up about something, because he'd suggested they just leave Cole where he was. There was hope yet for the young man. He, however, got beaten pretty badly and left behind by his buddies to die for questioning their orders.

"Looks like a farmer's boy, couldn't..." Their voices would phase in and out as his consciousness slowly slipped. "No armor, see?"

"He'll have to do." Cole had gotten hit in the head pretty hard and before he knew it, his eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out. He never recalled ever getting knocked out before, since he never had to put up with people ever actually seeing him. Or remembering him for that matter.

But when he started to regain consciousness after Maker only knows how long. He blinked his blue eyes, seeing blurred shapes standing above him. His head hurt so bad that it took awhile for him to even be able to keep his eyes open for long.

Where was he?

"Poor boy, none of you happen to be a healer do you?" A woman's voice asked, causing him to wince. The sound hurt, causing his head to throb. The only response she got was a few 'no's. Cole sat up and the woman he'd heard was crouched at his side. He knew she meant no harm, not only by the look on her face but the worry that seemed to seep off of her as she got closer to him.

The woman almost seemed to mother him as he tried to stand up, "Oh, no. You shouldn't stand so soon. Do you see the bump on your head, hun? Sit back down." The brown haired woman pushed him back down on the dirt floor against a rather jagged wall. The other side of the space he was in was lined with metal bars.

He was in a cell with four other people. Cole's thoughts immediately flickered to his friends and their camp. Had he been able to distract them from finding them? No, there was only three after he was done with them. They must have taken him hostage and brought him here. But why?

Cole didn't realize it, but he'd started to shake from the anxiety that he was feeling. Once the realization popped in that he would likely be unable to get out of this cell unless he was somehow saved. He knew how unlikely that would be. How would they even begin to find him? What was going to happen?

"Shhhh, it's okay. Listen to me, okay? Everything will be alright." The woman hushed, looking at him with sorrow on her features.  _'Too young. Why? This war...'_ "My name is Gertrude, what's yours? Let's introduce ourselves, okay?" She tried to placate him, to keep him from becoming hysterical. Gertrude spoke in soft tones, almost as if coaxing a skittish horse down from being riled up.

"C-Cole. I am Cole." He spoke through his ragged breaths.

 _ **'BANG!'**_  a shot echoed in the distance, muffled by the fact that it came from somewhere far outside of the cave he was in. It caused the rogue to snap his attention out passed the bars of their glorified cage. The sound, he knew, meant someone had died. But the sound also shot hope into his body. Was she still alive? Were  _they_  still alive? Even though he knew the unlikeliness that they'd ambushed the camp after he'd taken two of them out, he still feared for their safety. It seemed that they were okay, though. The sound was followed by a few more, then even more.

They were in a rather cavernous cave, torches nailed to the wall to provide enough illumination for them to see. Some tattered wooden furniture, crates and barrels were scattered around haphazardly and a number of the Freeman people that had attacked him were lingering around, though now they were standing on edge from the odd sounds outside of the cave. Sunlight somehow found a way to pour in from somewhere at the top at the far end, sending daggers of light spreading throughout the ground.

Soon enough, Cole was greeted with the sounds of battle and yells not far from the mouth of the cave. Hope bloomed in his chest, but he still felt fear for his friends. What if they got hurt? He looked himself over and found that he, of course, did not have any of his weapons or armor. Still sitting there in his leather pants and white undershirt. He can't help like this! What was he supposed to do?!

Cole squinted his eyes at the crumbling brick wall on the far side of the cavern. He saw a face appear just on the other side of one of the holes for only a second before it disappeared. A grey figure darted off to the left and behind some crates and his breath got caught in his throat. There were still people fighting outside and this person, he knew.

Lyn was on the other side of the crates as the archers were too busy discussing whether or not they should help them outside. He watched as she took aim, pointing to his right and away from the gilded cage he and the others were in. She did not want to risk hitting them by accident.

 _ **'CRACK'**_ It resounded within the hollowed out cave, causing his ears to ring. Cole could faintly make out the terrified screams of the other prisoners before another followed. And another. Until it paused as Lyn took cover behind the crates to reload her weapon. The archers from the front lay on the ground dead not far away before people started to pour out of the wood walled room to his right.

"What in Andraste's name was  _that!?"_  One of the men yelled, fear and horror flitted around the group as they looked around for the enemy. Cole saw the other captives curling up against the wall in their fear. He stood up and shuffled closer to the metal bars to get a better look.

"Are we being attacked already? There's still battle out –" The other man, a rogue, was interrupted as another _'Bang!'_ echoed in the cave. The odd ammunition that she used for her weapon pierced through his light leather armor and a small spurt of blood sprayed out of his back as he dropped to the floor.

A few more of the men dropped, some of her shots missing and hitting the wall behind them and kicking up some dirt and dust. He heard her curse as she fell behind the crates to hide again. Her sudden attack had caused an uproar among the small group as they crouched in a small battle formation.

"What the hell are you thinking, Lyn!" Cole saw Krem rush forward, sword and shield at the ready as he thudded to a stop right beside her hiding place. When he turned, he saw four enemies ready to attack. "Shit …"

"Get them!" Costeau, the leader, called out as she aimed her weapon at the warrior and the rogue-in-training.

"God damn it!" Lyn cursed and popped back up with her gun, firing off frantically at the group. Her nerves made the rest of her shots miss as they skittered off the stone wall yet again. Her gun started to click. Her face contorted into frustration at seeing four more people left in front of her. Krem dove into battle with the skill of an experienced fighter, taking on two of the men at once. The leader stayed behind, watching her three lackeys as they tried to take out her enemies.

Cole felt dread settle in his stomach when he realized none of his other friends came in from the mouth of the cave to assist her and Krem. She had run ahead? Why!? She could get killed, because of her lack in fighting at close combat.

"Run!" Cole yelled, his voice finally coming back to him. If she died, he didn't know what he would do. The thought itself sent his thoughts into a frenzy, everyone else's faded from his mind as his own took hold. Eyes widened, his thoughts tumbled out of his mouth in a rush of jumbled words. "Cold, frigid, dread settling in my stomach like a block of ice. No, can't be happening."

"Fall back and get the others." Krem tried to order, but Lyn was undeterred as she dodged around one of the men's attacks with a scowl on her face.

His friend's brown gaze flicked to him for but a second before she glared back at the two in the back. An archer and the leader. The clashing of metal and screams from battle were but background noise as the woman in plate armor started to laugh.

"Lyn!" Krem warned as he slashed at one of the men, sending them to the ground in a motionless heap. Red splatters could be seen on the warrior's armor. The other enemy that was trying to attack Lyn focused on Krem instead, letting out a battle cry and charging at him.

"I'll put you down like the demon you are." Costeau's voice wavered from underneath her full helmet, her hands shaking as she held up her weapon and shield. She feared the small woman's weapon, which was resting at her side in her hand as she glared over at the two.

Lyn scoffed, the metal on her armor glinting in the sun as she stood on the other half of the cave.

"I don't appreciate it when people take what's mine." Lyn growled, glaring at the woman.  _Hers?_  There was something … different about her. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. She was serious. She was going to try and take these two on without help!

"No!" He called frantically, scrambling to the cell door at his right as he started to shake it. "C-Can't help, can't get out. New weapons, new armor, new to fighting – can't hold it right, not yet.  _Not yet._ You can't do it,  _don't!"_  The sounds of the metal door clanging did not deter her anymore than his pleas did as she stuck her hand in her pouch and threw a handful of caltrops on the ground right in front of Costeau. The woman with the mace was at his left while the archer was at his right, which meant …

Costeau scoffed and Cole watched in distress as an arrow was fired at Lyn but skittered off of the metal piece that was on her chest, falling harmlessly onto the gravel. The archer tried to notch another arrow but was met with a blur of black that hit him in the middle of the head, sending him stumbling back with a cry. She'd thrown her gun at him. His friend unsheathed her dagger and pounced at him faster than he's ever seen her move, sending her weapon into the bottom of his jaw without even a second thought. Her face set in fierce determination.

There was no way he was going to get her to stop.

With a wet gurgle, the man fell and she turned around just in time to strafe out of the way of an incoming mace. Lyn was about to dodge the enemy's attack again, but she didn't have to. The warrior was knocked back by Krem's shield. He'd dispatched the man from earlier and was now glaring rather angrily.

Their movements were almost a blur at this point as Lyn and Krem seemed to take turns attacking the woman, even though the latter looked almost upset that she'd decided to stay. The battle was more important, however. Costeau, for the most part, seemed confident in her skills as she used her shield to hit Krem across the face and send him to the ground.

She didn't get a chance to jump on him as Lyn popped forth and tried to distract her. Because that's all she seemed able to do. Distract. Her swings and stabs were almost clumsy as she tried to attack. Cole watched with trepidation as Lyn dodged, dipped and strafed as the heavily armored woman swung the weapon at his friend. At least her training in dodging Sera's stick was paying off. His hands were clamped so tightly onto the bars that his knuckles were turning white.

The warrior on the ground recovered as fast as he could, stumbling into a standing position. Lyn evaded another swing, staggering back with her mouth open as she panted from overexertion. Even though she knew she had next to no chance at defeating her opponent, she remained. For him. He knew that, now. But she shouldn't. Shouldn't have come down here. Shouldn't be doing this! It was all wrong!

"You know, he  _is_  kinda cute. What use could we make of him, I wonder?" The warrior wondered aloud, her voice echoing from her helmet as she tensed her shield arm. He watched as Lyn's self-control seemed to snap right then, anger boiling over as she let out an enraged yell. His friend lunged at the woman blindly, only to get slammed by the woman's shield and sent tumbling on the dirt floor.

Costeau turned and her shield met with Krem's.

Cole cried out, as if he'd gotten physically struck himself. She stood back up and lunged at her again, seeing that she was occupied with her other friend. Her stubbornness. Her persistence was going to get her killed this time. While she was blocking the Charger, she thrusted her mace into Lyn's side. He heard her grunt in pain as she stumbled back, but glared at the woman like she was the most disgusting thing in the world.

A small flit of hope appeared as he saw white robes and the familiar curled mustache of his Tevinter friend appear just on the other side of the cavern. The warrior was too occupied on Lyn and Krem to notice.

"And if he's a virgin, they sell for much  _much_  more. Isn't it -" She got cut off by some fire as it engulfed her head and she let out a loud wail of pain. The woman pulled her helmet off and tossed it to the side in her panic. Lyn snarled rabidly, likely at the warrior's last statement, and saw an opening as she lunged forward and latched onto the woman's plate armor. She started to stab blindly in the seams to get at her body, but couldn't seem to do it right.

"Vishante kaffas! Get out of the way!" Dorian yelled, a trail of curses in his home language followed. His friend kept getting beat on the side of her body with the mace, the warrior screaming at her to let go. She wouldn't, Cole realized, she wouldn't let go because of him. This was all because of him, wasn't it?

Blood started to seep out of her leather pants and hip area, but she was relentless in her quest to kill the woman. Krem and Dorian were standing not far away now, watching in horror as the woman latched on like a leech and attacked her in a blur of frenzied movements.

"Fucking piece of shit!" Lyn screamed, finally pulling her dagger up to stab through the seam of her armor that lead down to her collarbone and chest area. "Rot in the Pit for all I care!"

Why hadn't she just aimed for that in the first place? Answer: Blind rage. She wasn't thinking clearly. He already knew that. The warrior eventually toppled over on top of Lyn, who was panting as she continued cursing. Her brown eyes were still wild and unfocused for a few beats before they finally fixated on the heavily armed woman that lay limply over her body.

A few of the others rushed in, swords and bows at ready as they slowly took in the scene before them. Cole was still standing at the door, shaking as he stared at his friend that was underneath the enemy. Krem walked over and pulled the woman off and Lyn sighed in relief, trying to redirect her attention to keep from looking at the bodies.

She never liked looking at the bodies.

"Why didn't you listen?" Krem ground out, sheathing his weapon and setting his shield aside. Lyn glared up at him with a defiant look in her eyes as she attempted to stand. She stumbled and her breath hitched in pain, before falling back onto the ground with a whine. The woman didn't answer.

The left side of Lyn's body was bloody and obviously pretty beaten up underneath her leather armor. It had protected her, sure, but it did little against that woman's mace. Dorian had rushed forth to tend to her wounds and make sure they weren't as grievous as they looked.

Cole could faintly make out the sounds of Gertrude trying to direct someone to get the key to the cell, but his vision seemed to almost tunnel at this point. He didn't even look to see who opened the door before he darted forward and up to his friend, who was still sitting on the ground as Dorian casted some major healing spells on her. Stitches had arrived as well and was digging around in his pouch for some bandages and poultices to get her fixed up enough to move. Everyone else, for the most part, seemed relatively unharmed. Aside from some bruising and cuts from battle.

He stopped only feet away from her and crouched next to his friend, staring at her worriedly. Lyn turned her gaze to Cole, her eyes glinting with irritation.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Her voice cracked, sounding almost broken. Scared. "Going out alone in the dark like that, you could have gotten yourself killed!"

"Killed. Killed, you could have gotten killed. Rushing ahead, alone, why didn't you wait for the others?" Just like before, she rushed out unthinking into battle. She risked her life for  _him_. Why for him? Why? She could have waited for the others to come in with her! If it hadn't been for Krem following after her, she'd likely be dead.

"Because they heard us coming, what if they moved you guys or … or _killed you!?"_  Lyn ground out angrily, "I wouldn't let that happen."

"N-Not again. It was like before, you're hurt because of  _me_. W-why?" He trembled when his eyes focused on her wounds that Stitches was still tending to. The man hadn't made a noise from his spot and sometimes he'd see Lyn's face scrunch when he poked or prodded the wrong area. "You should have just –" ' _Left me_ ' he was going to say, but was stopped when she poked his chest. She knew what he was about to say and she couldn't even read his mind. Her blank expression switched to that of annoyance.

" _No_." She cut him off, almost snarling. "Don't you  _dare_  finish that sentence!"

"But-"

"You mean too much to me to just leave behind, you idiot!" She almost screamed as she clutched onto his white undershirt and yanked him forward. He stared down at her, both glaring at each other with varying levels of frustration.

"You could have gotten killed!" Cole spoke louder, feeling anger boil and roll over his body in waves. He had to be louder, his emotions screaming at him. He didn't even want to think about it. He couldn't.

"A sacrifice I was willing to make."

"Y-You can't! _No!_ " Cole began to sound frantic at her easy dismissal of her own life. Did she really think so lowly of herself?! "You're reckless – careless! Unthinking. Anger roiling around as it blinds your senses, I-It-"

"Sometimes people do reckless shit for the people they love. It's just a fact of life!" Lyn refuted, her face turning pink at her declaration. Her confession. Cole's mouth was open but the words he was about to throw back died in his mouth. He stared, open-mouthed at her as the words slowly sunk in. She … she  _loved_  him?

"Alright, that's enough you two." Bull shoved them away from one another, preventing any further arguments. Well, he shoved Cole away because Lyn still couldn't really move from her spot on the ground. The two looked away from one another, refusing to meet gazes. Cole stayed near her, but did not speak as she was slowly patched up enough so that she could limp back to camp with assistance.

Lyn was being reckless and throwing her life on the line because she loved him. Cole was unfamiliar with the feeling, but the he was torn on what to feel about it. On one hand, he was happy that she loved him. Overjoyed, even. He wanted to embrace her and let her know how it made him feel. But it was causing her to almost kill herself in the process.  _He was killing her._

The thought terrified him, the fact that she did so without pause when it came to  _him_. Usually she was cautious, hesitant and calculating in her actions against the enemy. But what he saw that day showed him just how blind to logic and caution she could be when it came to this. To him.

**First Person**

Well, the cat was out of the bag. So to speak. And it ran away hissing and screaming, because Cole was avoiding me now. No, he wouldn't walk away and hide. He would stand nearby but would refuse to look at me and that made it even worse. I was too afraid to try and initiate a conversation, for the fear of one of us saying something that would only end up irritating the situation even more. He obviously greatly disapproved of my actions back at the cave.

I could see it now. _'Cole Greatly Disapproves'_. I'm so fucked.

What the hell was I thinking!? The words just tumbled out of my mouth back there, like word vomit. Not even a couple hours after finding out that I loved him and there I am blurting out half-assed confessions! I really hated myself sometimes. My mouth had a hard time filtering itself when I was so angry. And oh, had I been angry. Angry was not a great enough word to describe it. I was  _pissed_. That warrior woman had sent me into a blind rage back there and it took me awhile to actually fully calm myself. It didn't help to know that Cole had wandered off on his own and almost got himself killed in the process. I was still upset about that, to be honest.

Well one good thing did come out of this little adventure. I was now bullet-less (If that's even a word), which meant that I could melt down my gun when we got back to Skyhold. It was by sheer luck that I even had enough to reload a couple of times back there. Had I waited, I could have prevented myself from even getting as injured as I currently was. My left thigh and hip area was pretty fucked up and my armor was mangled to the point that I'd need to get it repaired when we got back. Harritt was going to have my head.

I groaned at the thought. At least Dagna would be there to calm the grumpy old man down.

It was mostly numb, thanks to some herbs that one of the Inquisition officers happened to have. Well, it was like a potion of some sort. A poultice? Most of the healing that I needed would have to be done by Solas, which I have to admit, I was not happy about that. At least it was not Vivienne, because I would rather have my leg amputated than ask  _her_  for help. Okay, maybe not  _that_  bad.

The rest of the days spent in the Emerald Graves consisted of me staying at the Inquisition camp we were all supposed to meet up at when our mission was over. The only one that stayed behind being Cole and Varric. Varric stayed because he heard about our spat in the cave and wanted to be there for us. He was the only one that came into the tent regularly to visit. The dwarf, thankfully, knew not to talk to me about it. I was not in the mood to speak about it, anyway.

Cole never visited me. He simply sat on the outside of the tent and kept watch the whole time. Almost like if he left I would end up getting attacked and killed. Had it really bothered him that much? I felt a stab of remorse course through me at the thought. I didn't mean to hurt him, but I couldn't leave him behind like that either. I couldn't just …

I had even gotten a lecture from Bull and Krem, the latter seemingly disappointed in my reckless behavior. He expressed that quite thoroughly during our talk and I felt effectively scolded by the two. Kind of like a child, really. In the end, I thanked Krem for looking out for me. Despite the fact that I'd been the one to be an asshat this time. (Okay, so maybe I was an asshat a lot of the time, but I'd never admit it out loud.)

By the time everyone met up to head back to Skyhold, I was well enough to at least hobble around and get on top of my horse with the assistance of Bull. My friend, yet again, refused to talk to me as he kept his piercing gaze on the road ahead of us. He, dare I say, looked almost angry. For  _this_  long? Cole never struck me as the type to hold a grudge.

The others noticed, as well. Noticed him being upset and my hurt and saddened expressions. No one commented but I assumed they'd been filled in on his capture and the results as such. Not only that, but they were too busy discussing the results of the mission to really notice much else. Solas had checked me over himself before and during our journey, making sure that my wounds were tended to correctly. The elf tried to ask how I was, but I didn't answer. I was quiet the whole time, lest I absolutely  _needed_  to answer.

* * *

When we finally got back to Skyhold after days of traveling, everyone was gladly running to the tavern for some rest and a drink. The ride back, might I add, was hard on my ass. My wounds, too. But those were already coming along quite nicely, thanks to Solas. Why was he being nice to me all of a sudden? Well, I'd assumed he would simply not help me because we'd never been on good terms. This was, after all, the first time I'd seriously been injured outside of Skyhold around him.

Maybe he wasn't as bad as I've been making him out to be? I wouldn't let him know that, though.

I wanted to help the other stablehands, but with a glare from our resident hobo-mage, I decided against it and made my way slowly up to the loft I'd claimed as mine. The thought of being able to lay in my makeshift bed made me want to groan in relief. I missed it, despite it being all prickly and uncomfortable at times. It was  _my_  bed.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the familiar lanky shape of my friend, his oversized hat hiding his expression as he sat on my bed with one leg drawn up to his chest. I hesitated at the top of the stairs but eventually took a deep breath and walked forward slowly, trying not to make it seem like I was still limping. Still hurt.

"Did you mean it?" I knew instantly what he was talking about as he stood up from his position on my bed. Cole's voice came out quiet, almost a whisper. "My thoughts were jumbled. Angry. Buzzing in my head, everyone else harder to hear. Harder to see."

Straight to the point, I see.

I sighed, looking down at the ratty floorboards of the barn. "Yes." It came out so quiet, even to me. "I … it came as a surprise to me, too. I- W-When you were taken from me. I –" My throat closed up at the thought of just how horrified I'd been when I found out he was taken and possibly even dead. The damn word, it was so foreign. I grew up knowing very little of love, but I knew one thing for certain. This was what it was. I'd never felt it for anyone before, the amount of affection I held for him. Just him.

"You shouldn't." His voice was almost a whisper, but it was enough to fill me with dread. A fear of rejection surfaced as I stared up at him with unease. "You need to stop."

I was forcing down the pain that those words seemed to cause me. It was like they ripped into me, tearing at my insides. I didn't like where this conversation was leading. The way he was looking at me, it made me … nervous. For once, I was almost scared that he would hurt me. He seemed to have caught that stray thought, because his head turned to the side as he frowned. He didn't even want to look at me. Oh Gods … no. Please no.

"D-Do you even know what you're asking me to do?" I choked out, feeling my body start to tremble. Maybe this was his way of saying that he just didn't feel the same way? Love was, after all, a very complex emotion. It was many in one, so vast and even complicated for me to understand. Self doubt won out and I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes as I looked away angrily.

"I know. I know a lot more than you think." He retorted, voice sounding passive. "You got hurt because of me. I won't let that happen, not anymore." He was dead set on this, wasn't he? I only knew how to deal with things one way when I felt vulnerable. I lashed out.

"It was my decision to run out like that, not yours! And you think pushing me away will help!?" I snapped back in irritation, "What kind of backwards thinking is that!? It's bullshit and you know it!"

"Y-You can't. Can't. T-This can't happen! Not when I –" My friend stuttered, breathing ragged.

"I can't do it. I won't." My voice wavered as I spoke, I clenched my teeth together and let out a breath before continuing. "You mean the world to me and there is nothing you can do to make me stop!"

The silence that followed was almost deafening. It ticked on, the only sound I could hear was my own breathing, my own heartbeat as it thudded relentlessly in my chest as I glared up at him defiantly. I saw tears form in his eyes, his expression softening. But it was gone as fast as it appeared, before his face hardened into a look that I knew people only made when they were dead set on something. Nothing I could say could budge Cole on his decision. He really didn't want this, did he? But I held my ground. I always did.

"I don't matter." Cole stated, his voice sounding almost defeated. There he went again, thinking that he didn't matter.  _He did._  How could he not see that? I reached out and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, dragging him down closer to me so that I could get my point across easier. I'd just have to  _show_  him, then. His eyes widened in alarm as our faces were mere inches apart.

"You're an idiot, sometimes." I replied lowly, acting completely on impulse and leaning forward the rest of the way to plant a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. I felt something just then, like a spark within my chest. It spread throughout my body and made my hairs raise. Just as the feeling was starting to intensify – he stiffened from the contact and backpedaled out of my reach. We both let out a gasp, though obviously for different reasons.

Cole stared at me with wide eyes, looking almost horrified at what I'd just done. (Little did I know he was only surprised.) I felt pain erupt inside of me, rejection coursed through my body. Of course.

The last thing I saw of him was that look on his face before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my mouth as my shoulders slumped forward.

Once he disappeared, it seemed like everything went quiet. Everything … the horses, the sounds outside. Even my heartbeat. Realization slowly set in. He never willed himself invisible on me before. Never. He hardly ever did, to be honest, since his change. He especially didn't do that to me. He's never just … left.

I don't think I've ever quite felt it before, what was going on right then. It was like a hole opened up in my chest. My expression remained blank as I slowly took in the situation. No. I've felt something similar. Usually it was just a dull ache, though. This – this was almost like stabbing, searing pain. It wasn't  _just_  rejection I was feeling, I realized. It was something else entirely. Something not known to me. I looked down at my chest fearfully, as if I'd see something there scratching and eating away at me. That wasn't the case, however.

I turned on my heel and darted toward the stairs, intent on trying to get rid of it. I didn't want it! I didn't want this! I stumbled my way across the lower courtyard and up the stairs, tripping on someone on my way there. I looked back at them but I didn't even register who it was as I ran toward the training grounds.

There.

Bull was talking to Krem and Cassandra was reading a book silently in the corner, the evening sun glinting off of the ground. The stone path crunched underneath my feet as I ran up to the two talking. Bull stared at me before shaking his head,

"No. Not this time, girl. I don't feel like kicking the shit outta you." He refused with a frown on his face. My brown eyes flicked over to Krem, begging. I could see pain and anger flit through his gaze before he walked over to grab some practice weapons. I was still hurting, injured from the incident in the Emerald Graves. But I needed this. Something told me that if I didn't somehow find an outlet for my emotions ...

_What's wrong with me?_

He handed me two dulled daggers and he held his own dulled short-sword and motioned for me to come at him. I was sloppy, reckless and unthinking – just like I had been back in the cave. My senses were so dulled that I didn't notice the pain, my body screaming at me to stop. I didn't even notice the wet trails falling down my cheeks, expression oddly passive for the amount of turmoil that seemed to flit through my mind.

Krem didn't even seem like he was trying as he blocked and parried my frenzied attacks with ease. I don't even know how long we fought before his face set into an expression I couldn't read as he knocked my weapons out of my hands and sent them flying. I made a frustrated noise, lunging forward at him even though he still had a sword in his hand. He dropped it, stepping aside and tripping me easily.

I fell onto my hands and knees, staring at the rocks and dirt underneath me. My breathing was ragged, vision blurry. A shadow loomed over me before I saw knees come into my line of sight, warm arms encircling me as I was pulled forward into a hug.

I sat there, staring blankly and refusing to believe that I was crying over this. Something so little.

_But w_ _as it so little?_

Even with my dulled senses, I realized Krem was hugging me. He was trying to comfort me without words, because he knew that I never liked talking things out. Was this what it was like to have an older brother? I was always the oldest, the strongest. My siblings always looked up to me as the rock, the one that didn't stumble when times got rough. It got so tiring at times, trying to be the strong one. Being the one to hold your head high even through tough times. It was difficult.

I didn't move, nor did I speak or respond to him in any way. I just sat there, completely lost in my thoughts as I stared forward blankly.

**Third Person**

She'd given him something that he always longed for. To be so important to someone. Even though he'd never outright said it, never really thought about it anymore. It hurt to just let her go like that, but it was for the best. This way, at least, she won't get herself killed. He didn't want to know what he'd do if she died on him. Them being separated was far better than her laying on the ground dead. Motionless and just … gone.

He was deep in thought when she turned to stumble away.

_It's better this way._

He repeated that sentence in his head over and over, as if to convince himself. No matter how wrong it felt to let her run away like that. To see that expression on her face. To see her … break. It's better than her being dead. This world taught him that sometimes he had to make decisions, no matter how hard they were. Bad or worse? Hurting now or killed later?

_It's better this way._

He watched from the loft as she ran up the long stairs and into the upper courtyard, tripping over Varric in the process. The dwarf turned and looked at her with a confused expression on his face and she looked back at him only briefly before she turned and continued to her destination. He looked back over to where Cole was standing, no longer cloaking himself in the barn loft as he watched her run off.

He knew Varric would come and check on him and ask what was going on. He'd tried to talk to him on the way back to Skyhold, too. He always worried about him. Always. So it didn't surprise him when he heard the dwarf's voice from behind him only minutes later.

"What happened? Screech looked like a complete mess just now." Varric sounded concerned as he walked up to stand right beside Cole. He looked down at the dwarf with a frown on his face, not even realizing the pained look that still lingered in his blue eyes.

"Lyn says that people are reckless when they love someone.  _She loves me._  B-But she can't. She  _can't_. I told her to stop." He explained, finally speaking to him after days of silence. He couldn't take it anymore, how was he supposed to deal with this? Was it normal? Was what he did the right thing to do? It hurt him, seeing her like that. Varric paused for a moment, grabbing the rogue's arm to gain his attention.

"So wait, let me get this straight … she tells you that she loves you and you pushed her away for it? Shouldn't you be  _happy?"_

He was. Cole shook his head furiously, looking down at Varric through a mop of blonde hair. "She almost died – protecting  _me_. Reckless, unthinking, thoughts clouded by rage. She jumped into battle without a thought!"

"Alright, listen. There's always going to be danger out there in this world, that's why she's training her ass off everyday so she can get better." Varric began, putting his hand on Cole's shoulder in attempt to calm him. "You can't expect to protect her from everything. Pushing her away isn't going to solve anything, it'll just end up breaking the poor girl's heart. I'd never wish that kinda thing on anyone else, it's pretty painful."

When he didn't answer the dwarf after a few long minutes, Varric let out a sigh and continued.

"You should be there for her, instead, and help her get stronger. I understand how you feel, I fear for her too. But she's strong, she's proven that hasn't she? Screech has gotten this far, I'm sure she can do it. That woman's so stubborn, I bet death wouldn't even want to take her." He chuckled and stepped back to get a better look at Cole, who was still staring out toward the upper courtyard.

She wouldn't  _always_  be helpless. Well, she wasn't necessarily  _helpless_  anymore. Just inexperienced. Pushing her away had been the wrong thing to do.

"I did it wrong."

"Yeah you messed up pretty bad, Kid." Varric sighed, giving him a pat. The dwarf then looked out toward the upper courtyard, as well. "Best go clear up any misunderstandings as soon as you can."

* * *

When Cole made his way into the upper courtyard, he was greeted with the sight of his friend kneeling on the ground next to the tavern and Krem holding her against him. The girl looked like she wasn't even responding to his attempt at comfort, but even still the blonde rogue felt something sharp dig in his stomach at the sight. He wanted to go push them away from each other, as petty as it sounded at the moment. The warrior seemed to have taken notice to his arrival, because he turned and glared at him from his place on the ground in front of Lyn.

Krem stood up abruptly, stalking in his direction with an incredibly pissed expression on his face. Jaw clenched, hands balled into fists, the warrior looked menacing as he strode in Cole's direction.

"You lying piece of –" The rogue saw it coming before he even did it, crouching and avoiding Krem's punch as he felt the air shift just above his hat. Cole frowned, but didn't bother to try and retaliate. He knew that he was simply angry because of what he'd done.  _He knew._

The blonde rogue dodged and twisted out of the way of the warrior's attempts to inflict pain on him and eventually he stopped and settled with glaring at him with his angry brown eyes.

"N-No! I did it to protect, preserve! But I did it wrong!" The rogue spoke quickly, trying to explain what he'd told to Varric just minutes ago. The time long ago when she was almost taken by the Ben-Hassrath flitted through his mind just then. "Cold, motionless, dying in my arms. Blood. So much blood. Fire fading away … gone. Dead. She could have died, l-like before! B-But." Cole stared at Lyn, who was sitting on her knees near the tavern with her hair covering much of her expression. He wanted to apologize and tell her he was wrong, tell her why he had done it.

"That's a load of crap! Do you honestly think hurting her like this was how to solve your issues?!" Krem shoved his hand in Lyn's direction, pointing at her with his face twisted into fury at the rogue in front of him. Cole could even hear his unspoken words as he continued his tirade,  _'Talk to her, not push her away. What an idiot! What was he thinking?'_ "She would probably do it again and again, no matter what. Because she loves  _ **you**_ , whether you like it or not." The warrior almost sounded bitter, just then. But he was right, and Cole recognized that.

"I want to make it right..." He spoke softly, his nimble fingers fiddled around with the hem of his sleeve.

Lyn's head lifted, rust colored waves falling out of her face and he took in her despondent expression. His stomach clenched and he felt sick, because he knew that it was his doing. She stood up slowly and simply ambled by, not even glancing at the two of them.

"I need to be alone for awhile." Lyn's tone was that of forced composure, her eyes red and puffy. She refused to look at them as she continued down to the loft where she usually slept.

"Probably best if you wait until she doesn't want to burst into tears at the sight of you." Krem muttered disdainfully, knowing all too well that the woman had almost gone into a hysterical rage. Her anger was what she always threw around so carelessly when she refused to feel what was in the moment, if it was too much for her to handle. Anger was just easier, more efficient than laying around and blubbering like a fool. But that opinion might be subjective. Some may believe the anger would only end up causing one to do things they regret and crying was an easier and safer release.

"She could have died." Cole forced out again, repeating an earlier statement but trying to make a point nonetheless. He allowed his hat to hide the almost disturbed expression that made it's way to his face. It was the only thing he could think about all the way back to Skyhold.

"I know." Krem ground out.

"I'm sorry." Cole paused, thinking about how he'd run into the cavern after Lyn and how she was probably alive now because of the warrior. "Thank you. For keeping her safe."

"I didn't do it for you."

**First Person**

I'm always fine. Eventually.

I spent the rest of that night laying on the square bales that were my bed, staring up at the rafters. I couldn't seem to get any sleep, though occasionally I'd feel myself drift off and I could swear I felt someone petting my hair. But I'd jolt awake and the sensation would stop. Perhaps it was just my sleep addled mind playing tricks on me.

The next day wasn't that much easier, either. I went to work, as sore as I was, and continued on like nothing had happened. Though I didn't really speak to anyone and they seemed to notice my change in demeanor. My usual scowl was missing and replaced with a passive look on my face, eyes seemingly duller. I still went on, though.

I refused to curl up on the floor of the loft like some sniveling little child. No matter how much I wanted to.

I lamented silently over the fact that I'd likely just torn our friendship to pieces. I mean, usually when people hurt me like that I hated them. Despised them, even. But I just couldn't bring myself to hate Cole for what he'd done. I couldn't even get angry at him. It's not like he did anything to earn that anger, in the first place. Sure I  _was_  angry, but it wasn't directed at him. I was angry at myself for being so brash and unthinking. How was I to know if he actually felt the same way for me?

Feelings like that, I knew, were pretty difficult to understand. Even for me. I've said it before, but it was true. Loving someone left you open and vulnerable to getting hurt, to getting attacked. Used. Hell, I wasn't just afraid for myself here. How easy would it be then, for me to hurt Cole? If he actually felt the same way, that is. Hypothetically, since for all I know he's avoiding me because he doesn't even see me in the same light and doesn't want to hurt me more. But judging by he and Krem's argument yesterday …

Hurting him would be unintentional, something I'd say or do because of my rough behavior. I wasn't exactly the most delicate with people and I had very little tact when it came to speaking. I'd only end up hurting him in the end.

_Perhaps it was better this way._

The thought caused me only more pain as I grunted and shook my head. I should stop thinking about it, for now. Things always found a way to work themselves out, for better or for worse. I knew one thing for sure, though, once I was able to contain my little issue I'd try to reconcile with him. I refused to leave him, despite what happened. If he'd let me, that is.

"So … hows 'bout that drink ya owe me?" I heard from behind me as I walked around to make sure all the stables were locked up for the night. The bolts made 'click click!' noises as I jiggled them absently. "You look like ya need it."

I felt her slap her thin hand on my back and I turned to look at Sera. She was grinning, though the look in her eyes told me she kind of worried for me. Of course, the elf would never outright say it. She usually made me feel better by either pranking me or … drinks, I guess?

"I don't drink, Sera." I spoke for the first time that day, my voice sounded bland.

"Come on! We have a bunch of others an' we're having a party tonight. Small get-together. It'll be fun, yeah?" I rose a brow at her, thinking of all the stupid things I'd get myself into if I ever actually drank any alcohol. I mean, I've tried it once (Just one drink) but I despised the taste of the stuff. It was just downright disgusting.

"Sera …" I tried again, with a small frown twitching onto my face.

"I'll even pay for yer drinks!" Sera grinned, grabbing me by the wrist and pausing to look at my disheveled appearance. "Might wanna get cleaned up, though. Ya smell like shite."

Ah, the perks of working with horses. I get my own brand of stank.

"Whatever, a few can't hurt. Right?" I sighed, finally conceding. "Only this  _once_." I didn't plan on ever doing it again, but I did owe her for the caltrops and poisons she bought me. Which, by the way, saved my ass back in the Emerald Graves. She may have said that she would buy my drinks for me, but I still planned on bringing my own silvers to pay for them.

"Good!"

* * *

When I walked into the tavern that night, I stood up straight and put on a mask of indifference. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, besides the usual smell of alcohol and stench of … people. People being cramped into one building never did end in there being a 'good' smell. People stink.

Quite literally.

Angel and Eren were here, which wasn't a surprise. I knew that my sister drank a little back home, despite being under 21. In America you had to be 21 to drink, which I had no opinion about. I knew I was quite biased when it came to alcohol since I hated it so much. Despised it, really. It's surprising I even accepted Sera's offer in the first place. I sighed, walking up to my sister and looking over at the dalish elf with a flat look in my eye.

"Hello, Eren." I crossed my arms and looked down at him as they sat at the rickety looking table in the far right corner. Said elf looked up at me and gulped down his drink with a nervous look on his face. He knew that I was keeping an eye on him just in case he hurt my sister. I had yet to have a talk with him, however. Angel let out a long breath out of her nose, probably knowing what was coming.

"L-Lyn." He acknowledged in his high pitched voice, holding his tankard up to cover part of his face.

I leaned forward and forced a smile onto my face, "If you are getting her drunk to take advantage of her, you will not wake up tomorrow."

He gulped, purple eyes widened in alarm as he offered a rather shaky looking smile in response. "I-I … wouldn't do that t-to her."

"Good boy."

"Lyn, Eren is one of the nice ones. Trust me." Angel's eyebrow twitched in what seemed to be irritation. I looked to her with a passive look on my face. She's said that before, about some of her exes that only ended up using her. Or sometimes they'd simply 'date' her for her looks to show off to their friends. Sometimes I'd even see their hungry looks when they thought no one was looking, those ones were the ones that left her and never contacted her again. Angel always wondered why and I never told her that it was my doing.

Since my sister was what most would call 'attractive' she had a lot of people that looked at her. That's usually all they did, though, is look. People look and see things on the surface and judge based on just that. I only hoped Eren proved to be different than the rest, because I'd hate to have to do it again. He had yet to slip up, however. I chuckled,

"I would not be an older sister if I did not look out for you, yes?" I offered, looking back over to the young elf. He was actually closer to my age, to be honest. Angel was almost 18 years old and he had to have been about 20 years old. As long as he didn't harm her in any way, I had no issue with their relationship.

"I can take care of myself!" Angel spoke up defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest. "You don't always have to coddle me like some child."

I felt my irritation rise and it must have showed because I saw her practically bristle in response, ready to argue and defend her lover. Though I did not feel particularly ready to argue at that point, feeling almost drained. I hadn't even gotten any sleep the night before, so I simply sighed and nodded. The teen's face crumpled and she seemed almost confused at my response as I waved at her and walked over to Sera's table. She was, after all, the one that invited me here.

Said blonde elf was hanging out where Bull and the Chargers usually sat in the Herald's Rest, the table was almost full aside from an open stool between Sera and Dorian. When she noticed my approach she waved me over, pointing at it enthusiastically. Lynn was at her side taking a small sip out of her cup as she spoke with Bull from across the table. I paid them no mind as I took a seat between the two, only to have a huge tankard slammed in front of me.

"There ya go. Drink up, Screechie." Sera pretty much ordered and I grunted in response, pulling the thing over as I peeked into it and took a small sniff. The shit smelled rank as hell and my nose scrunched in distaste. There was almost a sour smell to it that made me want to push it away and refuse, but I'd already agreed. So …

"Ale is horrendous, why not try some fine wine?" Dorian offered once I'd gotten settled at the table with a few of the others. True to Sera's word, a bunch of other people were out and about in the tavern drinking and eating some special food prepared by the cook. Is it just me or did I see french fries before I sat down? Angel must have been at it again.

"Wine? You're joking right?" I asked with a straight face, "I'm not a drinker at all and you want me to jump right into having  _wine_."

"They don't even have proper wine here in Skyhold. Had to buy some myself, you see." He spoke as he swirled it around in his fancy looking chalice, "Consider yourself privileged! I usually do not share,  _darling_." He spoke as if imitating a certain tanned Orlesian mage. I snorted.

"I think I'll pass."

"Your loss." The Tevinter shrugged as he took a delicate swig of his drink, legs crossed as he sat up straight in his stool.

I took another look at the tankard in front of me and took a sniff, again. Sour. The hell with it, might as well get this shit over with right? I lifted the thing up and took a huge drink. It wasn't the smartest thing to do on my part, seeing as how I'd never had this in my life.

I was immediately rewarded with the nastiest taste ever, I swallowed it and started to cough erratically. Sera and a couple of the others started to laugh at me as I sat there wheezing with tears in my eyes. That shit was strong! Or maybe I was just being a baby, I wouldn't know.

"T-That shit tastes like … ass."

"How would you know what ass tastes like? Is there something you'd like to share with the table?" Varric spoke from the other side of Iron Bull. My eyes widened and I looked over at him,

"Oh, I didn't see you there." I lifted my hand and made a sign with my pointer finger and thumb, implying that he was too small for me to see. "As for how I know. Your mother."

I heard someone spit out their ale at my horrible 'your mom' joke. I wonder if anyone else has made these kinds of jokes here in this world? I have never heard them.

It was about an hour later that I finally realized that I was actually starting to feel a little different. I mean, it wasn't a huge change. I was simply more relaxed and my problems seemed far off in the back of my mind as I listened to Varric tell stories of some of the shenanigans he got into when he was with a man named Hawke.

I silently wondered if they'd gotten into any 'Hawkward' situations in Kirkwall. Heh. Heh.

It was kind of warm in the tavern, I thought as I stared out at everyone as they conversed. I'd almost half expected drinking would make me delirious like the time Sera drugged me. That was, however, not the case. I was still my quiet self, albeit a bit more giggly as I enjoyed their banters that night.

That is, until someone popped the question. Now I'm assuming tact kind of goes out the window when you're drunk? Because they'd been avoiding the subject until then.

"So, what happened between you and the spirit boy?" Dorian finally asked, getting a few shocked looks from the table. Like 'why did you ask?!'. I hummed and took a sip of my drink.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Mage."

"Ooooh … so I'm 'mage' now. Hits me right where it hurts!" The Tevinter put a hand over his heart and looked at me in mock offense. I snorted and averted my gaze, opting for simply looking at my drink instead. It was my second one … maybe third? I can't remember.

"Nothing really." I shrugged nonchalantly, "I kissed him, he didn't like it. We're avoiding each other." I summarized, cursing myself in the back of my head for even sharing that much. What the hell?! Shut up Lyn! Varric seemed to give me a look, but otherwise didn't comment on my little predicament.

I heard most of the table groan in response to my statement, causing me to look up curiously. Bull looked absolutely pleased with himself as I saw people throwing piles of silvers and even some sovereigns in the space just in front of him.

"I told you,  _why did no on listen to me_?" Varric let out a breathy laugh, "This is why I don't bet against Tiny when it comes to people."

"I was so sure Cole would kiss her first!" Lynn had her head in her hands as she shook her head.

So what, am I simply a game to them? Something to bet on and make fun of? Logic was telling me that wasn't the case, but since I was already in a horrid mood it only served to irritate me even more. I didn't even try to yell and I simply frowned, downed the rest of my drink from my tankard and stood up to walk away. I heard them speaking to one another as I left.

"You said we'd be ass-deep in trouble for asking that. This is more like knee-high." Dorian complained to the dwarf, who chuckled in response. They'd obviously expected me to do something more drastic.

"I didn't specify who's ass, did I?"

"Leave it to the dwarf, always lowering the bar." He sassed back, causing a bunch of the others to burst into peals of laughter. Short jokes. Gotta love 'em.

That was the last thing I remembered that night, everything seemed to go by in a blur. I think I may have blacked out or something. It seemed I was a lightweight. Not that it mattered because I was never doing that again. That shit tasted nasty and …

When I woke up the next day, the sun that was piercing through the windows felt like it was burning my eyes out of the sockets. I almost expected to hear them sizzling like eggs on a pan. I suppressed the urge to groan as I blinked sluggishly at the high vaulted ceiling. Wait, high vaulted ceiling?

My senses were slow at coming back to me, and I took notice how I seemed to be laying in a rather plush bed with two warm bodies pressed against me on each side. I say bodies, because when I tried to move I was pulled up against someone like I was their teddy bear. I felt the blood drain from my face as I slowly realized I was, indeed,  _not_  sleeping in my room. Or the loft.

Fuck my life.


	26. Harmony

I heard a soft snore at my right and I slowly allowed my head to turn in that direction. I saw Sera curled up underneath the blankets. Swallowing, I turned the other way and saw Lynn clutching at me like I was her personal teddy bear. I think I mentioned that, though.

Squeaking, I bolted into an upright position and felt my vision waver. Sera grumbled and seemed to regain consciousness as I pushed myself up and over the bottom of the bed, tumbling onto the cold unforgiving floor. My body jolted and I groaned in agony. Holy hell that hurt, especially with how my head seemed to pound and make the room seem to spin.

"Ahh … whaa?" Sera's sleep addled voice spoke from her spot on the Inquisitor's bed. Yes, my surroundings finally came to me as I lay in the middle of the Inquisitor's room. Only then did I realize I was fully clothed and I had jumped to conclusions all too soon. Shit!

"What the hell am I doing in your bedroom?!" I yelled as I sat up on my knees, trying to untangle myself from the blankets that I'd inadvertently dragged along with me during my tumble. I looked up at a sleepy looking Lynn. Both elves winced at my loud voice. Sera's face morphed into irritation.

"Keep it down, will ya?" The blonde elf ground out as she put her hand on her head in her messy hair. Lynn, for the most part, looked a little relieved.

"You broke down last night after Dorian asked about your … situation." The wavy haired elf explained quietly, her usually delicate voice sounding groggy from sleep. She yawned, "We brought you up here with us and forced you to sleep it off."

Oh hell, I got the crying jags. I felt embarrassment flood my system as I cursed underneath my breath. When I looked back up, I saw an amused looking Sera and a sorrowful looking Lynn. At least one of them sympathized with me.

"I'm gonna go get ready for the day." I grumbled, standing up to leave. I paused mid-step as I got to the staircase and looked over at the two and mumbled almost shyly. "Thanks."

I turned and stumbled down the staircase, not looking at their expressions as I opened the first door with a small creak.

"Lyn." I heard the Inquisitor's soft voice from just above me before I took a step out. I looked up, seeing her leaning over the edge and staring. I blinked and tilted my head in question. "Don't be angry at him … he … he tried to talk to you last night, but –"

"Oh, hell. I made things worse didn't I?" I muttered underneath my breath, opting for staring at the stone wall instead.

"No. Well, maybe. He tried to apologize but you were too busy on one of your rants."

"So I  _didn't_  get the crying jags?"

"You wouldn't stop yelling around and it was getting everyone nervous, so we took action."

So I was an angry drunk, then. Well, this would probably be my version of the crying jags. Because crying was for sissies. I grumbled underneath my breath and wondered just how many people remembered my state of mentality last night. Obviously Cole did, he didn't come off as the type of person to even drink. Good for him.

"Sorry about that. I'm not a drinker, so I doubt you'll ever see me like that again." I paused, thinking about how that  _might_  be a lie. Unless I got incredibly pissed at someone, I wouldn't yell around like a madwoman.

"You were also throwin' those weird fried potato whichamajiggers at the backs of everyone's heads. Funny, innit?" I heard Sera's voice from Lynn's bed and I groaned. I threw french fries at people!?

Never again.

I turned on my heel and tried my best not to stomp out of the room. I at least owed her that courtesy, since they saved my ass last night. I don't even want to think about what else I would have ended up doing and not knowing, had they not forced me out of there.

Ugh, I felt like complete and total shit. My body hurt so much that I didn't even feel sad about my little predicament at the moment. Is this what being hungover felt like? I'd never felt it before, but I'm assuming once I get enough water in my system I should start to feel fine.

I hope.

I quietly padded through the gardens early that morning, making my way up onto the walls of Skyhold so that I could make my way to the tavern unseen. I got to the last tower and slowly opened the door and peeked into the tattered looking room, boards strewn out on the cold stone floor. Good, so far. I'd encountered a number of guards on the way here, but they didn't seem to pay me any mind. Idly, I smoothed my hair down as I opened the door into the third floor of the tavern. I felt the warm air rush onto my face and I shut the door behind me and descended the small set of stairs, hearing my boots thud on the old wood.

When I looked up, I saw Cole sitting in the corner with his hat drooped over his face to hide his expression. I could feel his gaze lingering on me, however. I tried to suppress the shiver that wanted to pass through my body at that moment. I was unsure of what had even happened last night, but I felt horrible that he even had to see me like that. I stared at him passively before turning and opening my door. What I was greeted with when I opened my door was not something I expected to ever happen.

No, let me correct myself. I called it, after all, didn't I?

"Oh – you've got to be fucking kidding me!" I screeched, feeling my head pound from the sudden loudness of my voice. The person in my bed turned his head to look at me, fear in his light brown eyes as he squirmed and made noises of disapproval. My eyebrow twitched in irritation as I stepped forth and slammed my door shut. I winced, yet again, at the loud noise.

Okay, I knew we all got drunk last night but this was … uncalled for. Cullen was laying in my bed tied up to the posts with some rope, a makeshift gag stuffed into his mouth and wrapped around his head. Oh no, that's not the worst part. He was only in his undergarments. When I peered over to my nightstand I saw a piece of parchment folded so that it was standing up, big bold writing  _'Hope you enjoy your gift, Screechie.'_

Sera.

Of course! I remembered just then that Cullen was trying to flirt with the Inquisitor in his inebriated state and Sera had been a wee bit jealous. Well … more than just a _wee bit_ , if she tied him to my bed to humiliate him. Inquisitor Lavellan had been the one to even convince him to drink with everyone, saying that he had work to do and all. But with her big sparkling grey eyes and elfy charm, she got him to come and relax. Apparently he wanted to 'relax' in other ways too. Cullen, you dog.

"Fuck." I cursed, flipping my knife out from my pocket and seeing the Commander start to squirm even more frantically now. "I'm not going to hurt you, calm down."

He didn't seem to hear me as he continued to struggle in his binds, horror written on his features. Okay, maybe sawing at his binds would be a bad idea. I set the thing on my dresser and slowly walked up to him with a frown etched into my face.

"Cullen." I ground out, trying not to sound overly pissed. Because I was. My small fingers untied the gag in his mouth and words poured out of the Commander's mouth that sounded suspiciously like a prayer or chant. "Cullen!" I yelled rather loudly, seeing him wince at the same time I did.

Apparently I wasn't the only one hungover.

"Maker have mercy."

"I'm not going to – Ugh!" I ruffled my hair in frustration and untied his hands, seeing him give me a wary look. " _ **I**_  didn't do this to you, so don't look at  _ **me**_  like that. Maybe you should not have flirted with the Inquisitor, last night."

"I did  _what?_ " The Commander's face turned even redder, if at all possible. I stared at him blankly as he seemed to fumble around for something to say. I suppose I could sympathize, he couldn't even remember flirting with his boss. The head of the Inquisition. Not only was it unprofessional, she was already in a serious relationship.

He seemed to fidget in place as I turned away and began to shuffle around in my dresser. I grabbed one of my larger tunics and a pair of pants, throwing it in his direction as he fiddled around with the ropes around his ankles.

What was I? The Queen of Awkward Situations? When I first arrived in this world, Cullen happened to be the one to handle my favorite pair of underwear. I saw him naked, and  _now_ _he was_ _tied up in my bed like some virgin sacrifice!_  Oh, let's not forget the fake love note. I scowled and turned to see him covering himself with my blanket with an almost timid look on his face. Like a shy maiden, he is.

I bit back the urge to laugh at the sight before me. I'd have thought the Templar would be more aggressive or maybe even at least angry at his predicament, but I must have misjudged his demeanor. I'd assumed since he was a warrior …

Whatever.

I let a huff of breath out of my nose as I crossed my arms, "I will have a talk with Sera about keeping you out of any … future occurrences. First it was the fake love note, now  _this_. Though I'd like to know how her scrawny ass got  _ **you**_  up two flights of stairs. You're easily _twice her size!_ "

"I'd really rather not think about that, right now." Cullen still sounded incredibly embarrassed, though less than before. I think it may have been because of my lack of reaction at his bare body. I grunted, turning toward the door and walking up to it.

"Just cover yourself up this time. Running around Skyhold unclothed is not something I'd recommend to do a second time." I offered plainly, not even looking back to see his reaction to my statement. If I gathered from earlier encounters, he was probably red as a tomato right now.

When I opened the door, I saw Cole standing there as if he were waiting for me … or eavesdropping? I watched as his blue gaze flicked behind me and irritation flitted through them. I frowned in response,

"Cole." I greeted placidly, hoping he'd move so that I could get by and let the Commander in my room change. Thankfully, he stepped back and allowed me to close the door for the poor man. When I turned to walk away, I felt him grab my arm and turn me around so that I was facing him. His mouth was opened as if he were about to say something and I felt my body react like it normally did when he touched me. It liked the contact, wanted more even. My mind was a different story, however, and I smothered the feeling viciously as I clenched my jaw.

The blonde rogue's grip on my arm released as I saw his expression crumple.

"I-I oohh... crap. Don't look at me like that, it – Shit." I squeaked out and backed up a little at the 'kicked puppy' look he was giving me just then. "I'm sorry, Cole. I just need a little time, we can talk later?"

Cole stood there for awhile, staring almost through me. I felt horrible for possibly yelling at him last night again, he didn't deserve that. I mean, it wasn't even him that I was angry at. It was me. Myself. I watched as he seemed to nod almost minutely and disappear right before my eyes. How in the hell does he do that?! Is it a rogue thing? I squinted my eyes and looked for his shimmering form but saw nothing.

I sighed and turned away, walking out the door and onto the walls of Skyhold. I planned on talking to him about things later, once I could sort things out. Right now, as I was, it would be a bad idea. I didn't need to end up snapping at him for no reason and making the situation worse. That's the last thing he needed.

Cleaning myself off was my first task, since I smelled like a tavern. Did I ever mention how taverns smelled? Alcohol was not a pleasant scent, might I add. It seemed I wasn't the only one that had that thought in mind, because while I was in the washrooms I happened to see Angel as she was walking out. I nodded in her direction and continued on with my business. Once I was finished, I planned to go and at least spend some time alone before I went to get stuff done for the day.

By the time I was on the other end of the fortress, I stood there quietly and watched the sun rise higher and higher into the sky. The wind blew across my face softly, making my hair shift side to side. It was crisp and clean, just like always. The mountains, gotta love it. I was there for awhile, judging by how I could now hear people bustling around down in the courtyard. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around curiously, seeing my friend standing there calmly. "How do you always know where I am?"

Cole stood there, fiddling around with the pendant around his neck. He would glance up at me occasionally, shifting his weight on his feet as if thinking of the right thing to say.

"Our necklaces. They remember being whole and they call to each other. I follow the whispers." He finally answered as he fixated his eyes up to me instead of the wood pendant.

"Brilliant." My face scrunched up in what was probably grief. I really did not want to be bothered, or confronted about our little mishap from days ago. Being alone is how I was used to coping with everything, thought about things and sorted them out in my head. Eventually things got better, it just took time. I knew that I would never just leave Cole, even if he didn't feel the same way about me. I couldn't do that to him. I just needed time to bury those feelings and try to forget about them, that's all.

"You're doing it again." He sounded pained as he poked the middle of my chest gently and I flinched a little at the unexpected contact. "It hurts more, now. I did it to protect and keep you from harm. But I yanked on the thread too hard and it … it broke."

"I'll be fine, Cole." I tried to reassure him, taking a small step back.

"No. no no  _no_. I don't want to see the fire dim, dulled, weak. I did what I said I wouldn't!" Cole was starting to sound frantic as I stared up at him with uncomprehending eyes. He looked guilty, remorseful. "I did it wrong.  _All wrong._ "

"Look, it's alright. This kind of stuff happens all the time." I smiled sadly and tried to reassure him, "Just give me a little time to recover, okay?"

"You're smothering it!" His voice rose, sounding like I'd done the most offensive thing possible. I paused, blinking in confusion. "The song used to be bright, playful and happy. Now it's quiet, dulled and muted. A-Afraid of being heard." His face twisted in grief and he whispered, "I'm sorry. Don't leave."

"Leave? I'd  _ **never**_  leave you, Cole." I peered up at him through my wavy hair, frown on my face. He probably still feared that he would lose friends, just like what happened before. No. I didn't like seeing that look on his face. He'd already gone through enough and I felt like I was simply making things worse. Feelings for people always complicated things and I silently cursed myself for even allowing this to happen.

He stopped my train of thought with a hand as he cupped my face. I could feel the affection buzzing and spreading, calming my thoughts. It was involuntary now, the affect he had on me. I thought about smothering it, but decided against it when I saw the look he was giving me. I leaned into his hand and sighed. Cole smiled as he gazed at me with his icy blue eyes. I tried to see beyond the mess of white-blonde locks that always seemed to get in the way and I let out a shaky smile.

"N-Never?"

"Of course not." I pushed the offending pieces of hair away gently so that I could see him better. I watched as his eyes drifted closed and he continued in a softer tone.

"My skin tingles when you touch me, I like it." He spoke, running his thumb along my cheek. It made my hairs raise and I liked it too. Very much so. "Warmth. It curls, coils, spreads around in my chest – making my stomach flutter. Y-You make me …  _feel_  things."

It took a moment for my brain to even process the words fully and I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. I sucked in a breath, feeling my heartbeat increase. Did he know what he was saying? What they meant? I felt the same thing, obviously, but I never acted on them. I didn't want to push something on him that he may not want. I was just being careful.

"Yes. I know more than you think. Why does everyone think that I don't understand?" Cole seemed a little upset, a small frown forming on his face. My eyes widened and I put my hand over his.

"That's not what I meant, I-I … It's just …" I fumbled around for the right words. Everything was new. New for him. New for me. He went through all kinds of crap and was still in the process of learning how to make friends and be human. Still learning about himself. I was kind of the same way, yet not as extreme. Feelings did not come easy for me. Feelings were dangerous. Feelings got you hurt. And they do, I still think they do. But... "I don't want to overwhelm you, that's all."

"You won't." His expression softened, "So gentle, caring – You always worry about me … thank you."

"I worry because I care." I let a small smile slip onto my face as I poked the wooden pendant around his neck. Yes, I cared. A lot.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I was scared, panicked … I said things that …" Cole paused, appearing as if he was trying to find the right words for what it was. "Fear pressed down, surrounding and suffocating. Thoughts like a haze of fog rolling around in my head. I didn't want to lose you. Still don't. Pushing you away was wrong. I won't do it again."

I was afraid, he was afraid. It made sense now that I thought about it. My fear of losing him caused me to act so rashly and I almost got myself killed. He feared the same thing and ended up pushing me away. I understood.

"It's alright. This is one of the hard parts about being human." I sighed and closed my eyes, reveling in the warmth that I felt with his hand on my face. "I'm still working on how to better control my anger and I've been human all my life. You're still learning. Messing up is part of the lesson, after all. I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did. I'm sorry, too."

When I opened my eyes, he was staring down at me with a contemplative expression. I felt the pad of his thumb slide over the corner of my mouth as his gaze seemed to linger there a little longer. "You kissed me."

I felt my face heat up immediately, heartbeat thudding in my ears. "I ahh... uhh. Yeah. I-I kinda did...didn't I?"

Mother of –

I could have sworn he leaned forward a little, my face flushing even more. He was close. So close. Almost too close as I felt his warm breath ghost over the skin on my face.

"C-Can we do it again?" Cole's voice sounded so quiet but since he was so close to me, I could hear him just fine. Though that was a surprise in itself since my heart was hammering in my chest I swore I could hear nothing else. We locked gazes and he looked almost as nervous, if not more so, than I did just then.

"W-What …" Was he serious?

"Yes." Cole whispered and I squeezed my eyes shut. Shit. He was serious. Well, of course I wanted to. I wouldn't have done it in the first place if I didn't want it!

I felt something soft brush against the corner of my lips where his thumb had touched just seconds ago. My brown eyes flew open in alarm and I took a sharp intake of breathe, realizing that he was kissing me. It was different than the one I'd given him back in the barn, since it had been  _me_  doing it. This time …  _he_  was the one initiating the contact. The energy I usually felt when he got so close crackled and vibrated. Almost like electricity. I stared forward like an idiot and I could feel my face as it was set ablaze.

That wasn't the only thing on fire, no. It was like the small kindle inside of my chest ignited, bursting forth and causing my heart to stutter to a stop. Then it started up again, much faster than before. My hands moved up and clutched at his patchy shirt as I moved closer.

Not really one for self-control, I didn't even think as I turned my head slightly and pushed my lips fully against his. Rather forcefully, might I add. I'd never  _wanted_  something like this so much in my life.

Cole seemed to freeze underneath me, unsure of how to continue. Was I doing this wrong? When he didn't respond, I let out a whimper and pulled away. He didn't let me, though, and he leaned forward to mimic me. He fumbled around a bit, clumsily, as he tried to figure out how to kiss me back. But he did.

It was awkward at first, unsure as any first kisser would be. It was rather cute, really, as I brought my hand up to gently touch his cheek. He was really warm and his face was flushed. I idly wondered if he was experiencing the same thing I was right then. I allowed my eyes to close as I leaned into him even more, feeling him do the same.

Happiness was not a sufficient enough word to describe how I felt at that moment as tears pricked the sides of my eyes. Nothing else seemed to matter, then. Not the Ben-Hassrath or the Venatori or even Corypheus. I understood now, why people sought out this feeling. When we pulled away, my eyes fluttered open and I stared up at him and tried to convey just how I felt. I couldn't find words.

The love I knew before from my family was only destructive, painful and used to control me. Used to gain an upper hand in order to get something. An ulterior motive. Always. I knew now that that wasn't what it was. It's not what it's supposed to be, anyhow. Love only hurts when you're afraid.

I wasn't afraid anymore.

* * *

Her song flitted flickered and sang a harmonious melody. And for the briefest of seconds, Cole could hear his own song – echoing from within her. It had reverberated through his senses, causing him to freeze up. Only for a short moment, however. It was as beautiful as it was exhilarating. The look on her face when they pulled away was that of pure adoration. For him. Only for him.

It felt like the world changed just then and everything didn't seem so terrifying anymore.

He  _liked_  being human.

* * *

Eventually we had to part ways because we both had things to do. But I was in a pretty damn good mood, I've got to say. Out of all the ways that situation could have ended, I almost didn't expect it to turn out so … well. Most things didn't, to be completely honest. When things always turn out bad you kind of just learn to accept it and  _expect_  it to happen. So it came as a surprise, to me.

I slowly made my way over to the undercroft with my head held high, eyes brighter than before. In my arms, I held a bundle that was my leather pants. Parts of my armor had been damaged from battle during my stay in the Emerald Graves, so I fully intended to take it in to get repaired.

When I opened the door that lead to the undercroft, I heard the door squeak as I took a step inside. I was greeted with the sight of the small dwarf coaching Harritt on how to correctly apply something to armor. I didn't know, but I stood nearby for a couple of minutes before they were done chatting away. Well, more like Dagna was chatting the poor man's ear off as he stared at her with an irritated look in his eye, but that is beside the point.

"I damaged my armor in battle and would like to get it repaired." I spoke plainly as I held the thing out.

"The thing is damn near in tatters! What'd you do?!" Harritt grabbed it out of my hands and looked at how the part on the thigh seemed to be completely ripped open and all I offered was a shrug.

"Without it, I may have been shredded. So … Thanks?" I smothered the urge to fidget around nervously because I did not like the look he seemed to give me just then. It was the look adults give their kids when they know they did something wrong. Harritt's eyes narrowed as he folded my leather pants up and turned around without a word, walking over to a table to set it down.

"Dagna …" I addressed, seeing the woman look up at me curiously.

"Is there something else you needed?"

"Well, I kind of needed to destroy something." I murmured, "But I have no idea how. I need it gone, for good."

"Lemme see what you got." The small woman put her hand on her hip and tilted her head with a small smile. I sighed, feeling like I almost didn't want to do it. Because I  _didn't_ , but it's useless now anyway. I dug in my pocket and took out my gun, cringing as I held it out to her. "Is this … from your world?"

For the most part, she seemed awed as she grabbed the heavy piece of metal out of my hands to examine it. I nodded in affirmation, watching as she turned it around in her hand and fiddled around with every groove and ridge she could find.

"And you want to destroy it? What  _is_  it?"

"A weapon. One that could cause more bad than good if it got in the wrong hands." Was my flat reply as I crossed my arms. I felt I needed to get my point across, "The Ben-Hassrath attacked me to get to it. Thankfully they were unable to attain it and I'd like to prevent any future occurrences."

"That bad, huh? Well, if you really want to …" Dagna almost sounded a little put out that she couldn't keep it and look at it. I didn't blame her, really. She seemed, for the most part, incredibly interested in my home world and had a thirst for knowledge.

"My apologies, it's just too dangerous to have around." I nodded, following her as she walked over near the forge where a smelting furnace sat.

What came next was almost physically painful to watch, but I stayed nonetheless. It wasn't like I didn't trust the woman. No, I take that back, I didn't trust anyone. I knew she was a good person, but I couldn't just walk away and assume she would do the right thing. I had to ensure the thing was destroyed for good. It took awhile, but it was able to get done.

I let out a quiet whimper, seeing my most prized possession reduced to nothing but a block of material. I had to remind myself that I was doing this because I didn't want anyone else to get hurt. I didn't want those assholes to take it and end up using it against the rest of Thedas. They already had a technological advantage over everyone else, they didn't need more. That's what's wrong with people, they keep wanting more. More and more. I sighed, turning toward the door with a frown on my face.

It's alright, though. I paid a lot of money for that gun, but that was of little use in this world. I most certainly wasn't going to sell the thing for money. That'd be reckless and just … greedy. If I were greedy I would have just accepted the Ben-Hassrath's offer for information in trade for Gaatlok. That was a no.

Didn't mean I wasn't sad about my loss.

I stayed down there only briefly to answer a few of her questions about it, which was mostly the same as what Krem and the Chargers had asked before. It was mostly the same, anyway. I had, however, told her about how we harnessed electricity in my world to power most of our things. The idea seemed to intrigue the woman and I offered to try and explain more in detail later.

Which brought me to the main hall of Skyhold, people bustling about and the dull hum of conversation traveled around me. It was about midday when I walked out there and the sun illuminated the half of the hall I was currently standing on. Somewhere passed the crowd of people I saw the bald head of Solas and two people following close behind. Upon closer inspection, the two people were Angel and Eren.

What were they up to now?

The small group entered the rotunda, where Solas spend most of his time doing whatever weird bald mages did, and I followed close behind. The door was creaking shut when I stopped it, slipping in behind them and practically inviting myself in.

I hadn't expected to see what I did when I entered the room. Solas was standing next to his desk, books and papers strewn out here and there, as he held onto the end of Angel's iPhone charger. His fingertips were resting on the metal parts of the outlet prongs as my sister set the contraption down on his wooden desk. Eren, seemed to be vibrating with excitement as he stared down at it.

The familiar sound of a phone starting to charge with it's little beep echoed through the empty round room. I stayed a distance away, watching with interest as the bald elf looked down at the thing with a curious glint in his eyes. But not before seeing them widen in disbelief as the phone turned on. Angel giggled.

"It's alive! Alive!" The teen did some odd dance as she hopped on one foot to the other. But her celebrating paused as the screen lit up and showed a picture of one of her favorite K-Pop idols. She squealed, but it was cut short. Solas, in his surprised state, accidentally put too much electricity into the charger and I watched as the iPhone was promptly fried right before my eyes. The machine sparked before the screen sizzled into blackness.

"Awww..." Eren deflated, looking down at it sadly. His shoulders slumped forward and I watched as Angel's expression turned from gleeful and happy to depressed all in a span of a few seconds. I couldn't help the short cackle that escaped my lips.

"No! M-My baby!" Angel didn't seem to hear me as she lunged toward the thing on the desk and tried to grab it, only to hiss and toss it from one hand to the other with a panicked look on her tanned face. It didn't take much brainpower to realize the thing was hot as I observed them play hot potato with the damn thing. What did she expect? I could have told her what would happen, since her boyfriend already fried her battery with his 'magey powers' as she called them. Eren stepped forth to help and the phone was tossed to him and he had a similar reaction as he tossed it back and forth and hissed.

"It burns!" He cried, tossing it at Solas. The bald elf held it in his hands for a few seconds before he tossed it back onto the table with a loud  _'clunk!'_

"That went well." Solas commented, a small amount of sarcasm escaping his tone. I blinked, looking down at the phone and sighing.

"Should have asked me, I would have at least been able to do it correctly." Dorian spoke as he leaned onto the railing on the second floor, peering down at our small group as we stood around and looked at the phone on Solas' desk. "Our resident hobo, after all, is not the only mage in Skyhold." I could have sworn I heard him mutter something about having better hair than him, too. Oh, Dorian. Solas didn't even  _have_  hair.

Said hobo didn't answer, only staring up at him with an irritated gleam in his eyes.

"Mages killed my babies!" Angel's hands were making clawing motions as she looked between Eren and Solas. "This was your idea!" She blamed Solas as she pointed at him with her bony finger.

"It was sheer curiosity on my part, I had not expected to see the picture light up." Solas spoke, nodding his head in Angel's direction. So it was his idea to try it, was it?

"Is there something you'd like to share with the class, Solas?" I waved my hands and opened my palm to motion to the other two in the room. My sister looked over at me curiously, as if just now realizing I was there. Eren seemed nervous, as he usually was.

"I assure you it had been unintentional on my part." He spoke cautiously, looking between Angel and I. "But I had stumbled upon your dreams in the Fade. I saw what your world looked like and needless to say … I was intrigued."

I nodded, wondering what he thought of our world and if it helped him any with trying to even find a way back. Though I did feel a wee bit uneasy that he may have seen the contents of my dreams.  _The contents_  … of my dreams. _Shit._

I totally didn't have perverted dreams or anything. I looked at Solas as the silence fell in the room at his statement. He seemed to give me a look and I felt my face pale. Okay,  _sometimes_  I had them. Maybe once or twice. Well, it would certainly explain his extreme dislike for me, since the object of said dreams was usually … yeah.

I forced myself to think about something else, refusing to feel embarrassed for being human.

As for going home, it would be nice to find a way back at least. Not that I wanted to, anymore. But I'm sure Angel would appreciate the opportunity. Speaking of Angel, she looked beyond pissed just then. Her glare could have melted steel and I felt my body involuntarily shiver as she directed it at Solas.

"I have to put up with Lyn's demon boyfriend digging around in my head and now I've got you sifting through my dreams!" She seethed and I felt myself bristle at her statement of Cole being a demon. "Can't I have  _any_  privacy around here?!"

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from retorting with a comment of my own about Eren being a spineless little bastard. The poor elf didn't do anything to me, so he didn't deserve my scathing comments. I had to remember that.

"Apologies." Solas' posture stiffened as he clasped his hands behind his back. "I was under the impression that you wanted find a way back to your home world."

"Any progress on that?" I asked before my sister could blurt out anything else that may be taken as offensive.

"Only that I now know that your stories are legitimate. I had my suspicions before, as did a few of the others. Leliana did much research on the two of you but … alas you both seem to be ghosts. Even the most proficient of spies have difficulties evading the Spymaster's connections." The bald elf explained as he paced, one of his delicate hands coming up to rest underneath his chin. I peered up, seeing Dorian still looking down at us with that grin of his. Nosey mage.

I huffed and flicked my brown gaze over to Solas, "This  _suspected_  spy almost got mauled by the Spymaster herself." I spoke dryly, referring to what happened in the dungeons at Haven during my first week here on Thedas. "Is she so convinced I am not a spy, now?"

"It seems unlikely."

" _Seems_."

"There are always possibilities, but if it's any consolation I do not think you a spy."

"How sweet of you."

"Don't push your luck." Solas gave me a look that told me to shut up before he turned to Angel and Eren, who were watching the exchange silently. I tuned him out as he began to speak to the two about the possibility of making amends somehow. Bastard! He never offered to make amends whenever he was an asshat to me!

As he spoke I made the most ridiculous face I could at the back of his bald head, crossing my eyes and sticking out my tongue. I heard someone snort and Solas stopped talking. I schooled my face into indifference as he turned to look at me curiously. I raised my brow in response.

He turned back around and began to talk again. This time I pushed my thumb on my nose and wriggled my fingers, sticking my tongue out childishly. I wasn't fast enough that time as he whipped around and saw my childish behavior and scoffed. I clenched my hand into a fist and pretended to cough into it.

"Must you always be so immature?" The bald elf asked in a rather chill tone. I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Solas. It seems I have … come down with a cold." I fake coughed again and turned to walk toward the door. "I shall retire to the tavern for soup and bread."

* * *

As it seemed, I headed to the Herald's Rest at just the right time. The Inquisitor had called a small meeting with the inner circle and we were currently sitting around waiting for everyone to show up. Maybe only half of the group sat at one of the larger square tables as they chatted away. I sat silently on my creaky stool and munched slowly on the soup and bread that I'd ordered. Angel and Eren had made their way from Solas' little cave and joined me.

I was seated near one of the walls, the window cracked open to reveal the outside of the upper courtyard. Occasionally a crisp breeze would slip through and cool off my face. Cole stood quietly next to the wall not far from me and, as usual, we were both silent as everyone chattered away like old women.

"There's definitely something different." I heard Angel ask from her place just across from me and I grunted, feeling a bit confused at her statement.

"Different?" I asked from behind my mug of water, looking at the wavy haired teen as she seemed to scrutinize my reaction.

"You guys aren't acting all … coupley, though." Angel spoke as if she were simply thinking out loud, now and I felt my eyebrow twitch. I wish she'd just come out and say it. I knew now, though, that she was likely talking about Cole and I as we lingered near each other like usual.

"Is that even a word?" I drawled in response, lowering my mug onto the worn table. Something seemed to dawn on me as a question flew out of my mouth without even thinking, "Wait … how are couples even  _supposed_  to act?"

"I don't know." Cole sounded just as confused and I only offered a shrug when I peeked back at him. It seemed as though the spirit fidgeted a little under my gaze. Thinking nothing of it, I turned back around and took a small sip of my water and closed my eyes.

"Still kinda gross." I heard Sera say from next to Angel, obviously overhearing the conversation and deciding to put her two cents in. I felt my eyebrow twitch, yet again, but otherwise kept quiet.

"You know what's gross?" Bull spoke up in a low tone, almost ominously. I peeked over at him curiously, hearing Sera answer.

"Wha'?"

"This 'druffalo stew'." Bull pushed it away, "I know a mean Qunari stew recipe, I should make it sometime." He laughed loudly as if at some unknown joke, causing some of the people in the tavern to pause before going back to their activities. Odd, I thought the stew tasted really good.

"Soooo, didja guys play 'hide the zucchini' yet?" Angel just happened to ask from across the table as I was in the middle of taking another drink. I choked on the water, feeling some of it spew out of my mouth and nose back into the cup. Did they even  _have_  zucchini here?

Judging by the grossed out/incredulous looks, I assumed so. Sera, despite thinking it was gross, giggled evilly and snorted. "Heh. Zucchini."

"What the fuck, Angel?!" I hissed when I was finally able to form a coherent response after I was done with my coughing fit. I felt my face quickly change colors as my sister replied.

"Hey, I wasn't the only one that was wondering." The teen shrugged and grinned impishly, "After that huge fight you guys had, it wouldn't surprise me if –  _Yeowch!_ " The girl was cut off as a loaf of stale bread bounced off of the middle of her forehead, landing on the table with a small ' _thud_!'. By the time she opened her eyes to glare accusingly at me, I was gently dabbing my face with a handkerchief.

"Finger slipped." I explained flatly, "What about you, Angel? You and Eren seal the deal, yet?" I watched in amusement as the girl flushed a deep red.

"Sometimes it's on the dresser, other times it's in the washrooms." Cole spoke from behind me but ended up pausing for a moment, "Once in the kitchen?"

"Adventurous, I see." I nodded sagely, hearing Sera make a disgusted noise from her spot next to Angel. The blonde elf whipped her head in her direction and yelled,

"Frigging hell, I eat food outta there! I don't need yer girlies flappin' all over in my food."

"T-They weren't flapping a-anywhere!" Angel defended, looking absolutely mortified when everyone at the table seemed to quiet down and take notice to the conversation just then. Eren's face turned red all the way to his pointed ears as he sat silently beside my sister. If anything, the poor dalish elf looked even more embarrassed than my sister as he practically vibrated with anxiety. Sera looked at the human's chest and nodded, as if agreeing.

"Yeah, right? They're too small fer that." She laughed loudly, getting an angry look out of the wavy haired teen. The elf and my sister began bickering back and forth about how breast size didn't matter.

"How do I make it stop?" I groaned, dropping my face into my hands and shaking my head. The evening was turning out just fine, sitting at a table eating with some friends before the small meeting. Then the conversation  _had_  to steer in that direction.

"You think  _this_  is bad … you should have been there with Hawke and the crew." Varric chuckled before he continued, "Or Isabela. Maker, that woman would make your sister seem like an angel. No pun intended."

I sighed and went back to eating, seeing the rest of the group trickle in slowly. Once everyone arrived, Lynn informed everyone that they needed to go and get somethings done before they headed out to the Hissing Wastes. So, basically, she was looking for volunteers to come along with her before they left. It was estimated that we'd leave in about a week or so. I wasn't one of the volunteers, opting for staying to help with the horses and stuff in Skyhold this time.

Cole, Bull and Solas had been the ones to volunteer to go with the Inquisitor. Which was odd, because Sera usually went along with the Inquisitor whenever she left. Since they were a couple and all. So, once they were all ready to go the next day I couldn't help but be there to see my friends off. Cole, too. Obviously.

"You could come along." Cole said for the second time as he looked over at me, his hands were fiddling with his hand wraps. We stood in the lower courtyard as they got ready to leave. I silently wondered why he seemed so nervous. Things had gone back to some semblance of normalcy with us. Well … if there was even a  _normal_  when it came to us. But at least it wasn't like we were walking on glass whenever we were near one another.

I did notice, however, that he seemed more nervous than usual as of late. I mean, I say that because he wouldn't stop this incessant fidgeting of his where he would pick at the hems of his shirt cuffs. Or pull at his hand wraps, even as far as pawing at the tables as he peeked over at me.

We were standing at the gates of Skyhold just before they were to leave and he was all decked out in his armor. I shook my head with a small smile, pushing those thoughts in the back of my head. I'd think on it later.

"The mission to the Hissing Wastes will take a lot out of me. I doubt I can handle both." I answered honestly, turning my gaze up toward the upper courtyard. I also planned to get some training done before we left, but that was beside the point. I noticed him flick his blue gaze behind me a few times but didn't really think anything of it. "Just be careful, okay?"

"I'll try." I felt him put his finger underneath my chin and I looked up at him curiously. Cole leaned forward slightly and I assumed he was going to give me a peck on the cheek or something. But he went straight for it. I froze up when his lips brushed gently on mine, feeling my face turn completely red. We were in public! He pulled away and looked at me with an anxious look in his eyes, "D-Did I do it wrong?"

"N-No j-just …" I responded hearing Sera make some gagging noises from not far away behind me. I buried my face into his shirt to hide my expression. I squeaked out, "That's why."

When we stepped away I glared over at Sera just in time to see her in the middle of giving Lynn a kiss, too. I made a loud gagging noise and yelled, "Get a room, you two!" Sera pulled away and made a ridiculous face, giving me a look that told me I would regret it later. Ah shit …

Solas was looking at me rather gravely but did not comment, otherwise. We stared at each other silently for awhile, equally blank looks on our faces before we turned away pretty much at the same time. I sauntered off, giving Cole a pat on the shoulder as I left.

As for Sera, I did regret it. Because the next day she'd called me over for a bout of training. I'd been in the middle of sparring with Krem with my armor on when she suddenly appeared and began to roughhouse with me. The blonde elf was a rogue and since I was pretty much a rogue-in-training, she tried to teach me some of her cool rogue abilities. Can you guess what happened?

Nothing. I couldn't seem to grasp anything she tried to show me. She was what one would call a 'Tempest' and could do a many of things for her specialization. Which included using these weird elixirs that had many benefits. I don't know about you, but the idea of cloaking myself in fire did not appeal to me. And as much as I liked electricity, that didn't appeal to me either. No matter how much she assured me that it wouldn't hurt, I refused to try it. I, dare I say, was too scared.

We then moved on to these throwing knives and she had to coach me on how to throw them correctly. I missed every time. Though, by the end of the week I was at least able to hit the target dummy three out of the ten times while I trained. It was a small improvement, but something nonetheless.

The knife fell to the ground with a soft _'Thud!'_  "Frag!" I threw another knife and missed, "Scrap!"

I was running out of swear words to use.

"You should perhaps take a break, you've been at it for hours." Cassandra offered from her spot on a stool nearby, looking up from her book. The evening sun hit my back, casting a long shadow on the ground just ahead of me. I glared at the dirt and shook my head, getting into the position Sera had taught me.

"I'll get it even if it kills me." I spoke and kept throwing the things at the target stubbornly. My arms were getting tired as I swung them with a scowl on my face.

"While I admire your determination, your arms are shaking and weak. Being unreasonable with your training regimen will only set you back if you get injured." The Seeker stood up and closed her book calmly. She looked up at me and I saw the faintest hint of a smirk form on her face, "Trust me, I know."

I sighed and walked forward to start collecting my throwing knives. "You're right."

The warrior ambled off after that, leaving me in silence as I took some of them out of the dummy. Most of them, however, were on the ground. Grumbling silently underneath my breath, I put them in my pouch and slowly made my way into the Herald's Rest. I'd promised Angel to eat dinner with her and Eren, anyhow. It was about that time.

I wasn't surprised when I saw the teen sitting alone at a table, talking with her boyfriend. I strode up to the two and took a seat across the table where a plate was already set. It seemed I was having some odd combination of boiled eggs and rice or something. Not that I was complaining, I liked eggs.

I was in the middle of chewing when I looked up and saw Angel staring at one of her boiled eggs with a rather concentrated expression on her face.

"Eggs?" She turned the thing around in her thin fingers and looked at it plainly, " _Egg_ -zema!" 'Eczema' Right. Hah. Not funny.

"That wasn't even funny, Angel." I pointed out, seeing Eren look at her curiously. Please don't tell me she's going to go on one of those wild punning sprees. Because they can get pretty bad.

"I know the joke was a little …  _dry_." Angel shrugged and looked at me with a rather cheesy smile on her face and I suddenly got the urge to slam my head into the table. No. Oh gods, no.

"You deserve to get mauled for that one, it was so bad."

"Don't you think you're being a little  _rash_?"

I let out an unamused grunt and stared at her through my messy hair, "Well, I kinda walked into that I suppose. Fair enough." I conceded, hoping she'd stop now that I admitted defeat.

" _Egg_ -scuse me, I've got work to attend to." Angel stood up, struck a pose and walked off toward the kitchens. I stared at the place she was sitting at just seconds ago, trying my hardest not to let my eyebrow twitch psychotically. That left me alone with her little lover, Eren. Speaking of which, I had yet to speak with the little elf.

I leaned forward with my elbows resting on the table as I examined the dalish elf with an evil gleam in my eye. Eren seemed to notice and began to almost sweat underneath my heavy stare.

"Soooooo. Eren, right?"

"Y-You know, there's this uhhh... this thing I needed to do." He tried to offer as he ran his pale fingers through his black hair, looking at me apprehensively. I shook my head and threaded my fingers together, resting my chin on them.

"No no, I insist. You should stay." I forced a smile onto my face, "You've been with my sister for awhile now, I'd like to … get to know you."

I watched his neck move as he swallowed, looking at me warily. It's not like I was going to jump across the table and tear off his face.

"She has grown rather attached to you. I've seen this happen a couple of times, she falls in love – they leave and she is hurt. Fortunately for her, usually  _they_  get hurt too." I explained gravely, seeing him twitch. I could have sworn his purple gaze seemed to harden a little.

"I would never do that to her." Eren spoke with conviction, his high pitched voice sounding confident for once.

"You also kept her safe and you're probably the only reason she's still alive. So I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Just don't fuck it up."

We were relatively quiet after that as I finished off the food Angel made for me. It was a comfortable silence. For me, anyway. Eren seemed deep in thought for awhile before getting up to leave. I was left to think about where we were about to go. I didn't remember going to any place called the Hissing Wastes, since I hadn't gotten that far in Inquisition. I rarely thought back on it, anymore, really. It seemed almost wrong for me to think of this place as a game. It was, at one point. But these were real people, real … friends. Even though I wasn't quite as close to everyone else as I was with Sera and Cole, I still cared about the rest of them nonetheless. Even Solas.

Maybe not Vivienne.

I would never let them know that, however. Letting everyone know that I was secretly kind of soft would be like telling them I could transform into a dragon. They'd look at me like I was completely insane. Good. Best keep it that way.

Inquisitor Lavellan really had an unusual amount of stamina if she could keep going on missions back to back, because as soon as she returned … we were going to get ready to leave. That woman is either extremely determined or inhuman. Well, she's an elf – who knows what those things are capable of?

And now I felt like a racist ass. I glared at my empty plate and got up to leave. Hopefully things didn't get too out of hand on our way there. Knowing the family luck, I genuinely doubted that.


	27. Highlands

Cole had been observing couples interact more closely as of late, ever since he and Lyn had grown closer. It hadn't interested him before, but here he was. He noticed that usually two people like to spend time with one another, which he understood completely. They'd do things like go on dates, eat their meals together, and show random acts of affection throughout their time near one another. Things he intended to try and do.

Though said couples never did like him randomly staring at them from some corner or in a bush. Things were much harder now that he couldn't just walk around unnoticed. The rogue had a feeling that he'd have to ask for help, again, when it came to other things. How was one supposed to court another? Was there a correct way to do it? What if he did it wrong?

Which brought Cole to his current predicament as he stood in front of Lyn's sister nervously. He thought he'd try to eat lunch with Lyn to start out with. Angel was bustling around in the kitchen, the chef having taken the day off and left it in her care. The teen was quickly becoming popular with her new and intriguing menus. The wavy haired teen turned to look at him and smiled kindly, brushing off her apron that was tied around her small waist.

"Is there something you needed, Cole?" She asked softly. Her demeanor toward him had changed since he and her sister had grown closer. Angel felt happy to see Lyn the way she was.

"What does Lyn like to eat?" He questioned, shifting on his feet at the entrance to the kitchens. One would think it to be more practical to simply ask the woman herself, but the thought almost seemed to make his anxious state worse. Cole also found that he was often afraid of doing things wrong or accidentally saying or doing the wrong thing. It had been there before, sure, but now it was almost overwhelming. Angel seemed to think about his question, the smile never leaving her face.

"She's not really a picky eater. Were you going to eat lunch with her? That's cute!" The brunette clasped her hands in front of her body and shifted her weight back and forth in happiness.

"But … I don't eat."

"No, you don't  _have_  to. You should find something to eat with her, though. Trust me!" Angel scurried around, putting together a small meal as she wrapped it up in some cloth for him. She even tossed some sweets in there, just in case.

"Can't believe it's happening. Should I give him candles, maybe a little picnic blanket? Get the atmosphere right. No. She'd  _hate_  that." He rattled out her thoughts without even thinking, getting a squeal in response.

"S-Stop that!"

"Sorry." Sometimes Cole couldn't help it, since Angel and Lyn's echoes were usually  _very_  quiet and when they got louder – the ripples bigger – he couldn't help but let his mouth run. Sometimes it didn't want to listen to him.

"It's fine."  _'Not really.'_  "Just take this, she's probably hungry anyway."

Cole took the bundle from her hands and stared down at it curiously. He's seen people do this before, but for some reason his feelings wouldn't listen to him. His nerves kept shuffling around, making him feel uneasy and jittery. The rogue looked down at his free hand, opening and closing his palm curiously. Why? It hadn't bothered him much before. If anything he had been getting better with his emotions. Getting used to them. But after they kissed, it was like … a switch had been flipped.

 _Those_  wouldn't listen to him either. His feelings, that is. The things in this world rarely did, now that he thought about it. Cole came to know that it wasn't always a bad thing, however.

These new things, at first, seemed almost terrifying to Cole. It was unknown. Uncharted territory for the spirit-turned-human. He didn't understand why he felt the way he did around her, but simply thought it would go away. They never did. Having to adapt to all those new things was hard enough, but when he learned that he saw his friend in a different light … increasingly more difficult.

But he didn't want them to go away. He didn't want  _her_  to go away. If there was one thing that terrified him more than the unknown, it was the thought of losing her. So he would do this. The blonde rogue paid no mind to the fact that two sets of footsteps seemed to trail behind him as he made his way out to the barn. It mattered not, he was a man on a mission.

Angel had waved Eren over on their way through the tavern and she fully intended to see just how this went down. For research purposes, of course. It totally wasn't because of her unusually curious nature when it came to her sister's love life.

They crouched nearby as the blonde rogue slowly walked up to the grumpy woman in the stables, a small bundle in hand. Angel and Eren were almost doubtful that his idea would even work since she expressed such a dislike to such 'mushy' acts, as Angel called them.

"Would you like to... eat lunch together?" The scraggly rogue sounded unsure if he'd worded it correctly as he held out his little gift to her, a small tilt to his head. The couple watched as the normally cranky woman turned into a complete stuttering mess in front of Cole.

"I-I … ahh … well. If y-you'd like?" Lyn's brown gaze flicked down to the white bundle in the rogue's hands and up to his face a couple of times before her face turned a faint shade of pink.

"Holy shit." Angel whispered, covering her mouth to keep herself from making much noise in her amusement. "I never thought I'd see this."

Eren seemed at a loss for words, not ever seeing any other expression on her face other than 'pissed off' or 'even more pissed off'. It was quite the sight.

**First Person**

And there I went again, bumbling around like a damned fool. I really did need to get a hold of myself. We sat quietly outside of the stables in the soft grass, the cool breeze fluttering by and cooling off my body. I'd been working pretty hard in the stables, so the cool air was welcomed. The sun seemed to glint off of Cole's blonde hair, his hat sat discarded on the ground right next to him.

"Did I do it right?" I heard him ask and I refocused my attention to him. Cole seemed, for the most part, completely stoic as usual. Aside from the way his hands couldn't seem to keep still as he stared down at his cookie. "When they do things like this – the couples – always worrying, fretting, nerves so overwhelming. My palms are sweaty. What will she think?"

I felt myself snort before I could contain it, getting a frown out of him. I held up my hands, as if to placate him. "No, I mean. Uhh... you don't have to do this just because you see other people doing it, too."

"But I  _want_  to. I want to make you happy." Always eager to please, I see. It's rather cute, actually. I allowed my eyes to soften at his statement, he was  _trying_. That's what counted. It must have been hard for him, to suddenly have to deal with this.

"What makes me happy is  _you_. You don't have to act a certain way to do that." My voice came out confident, words tumbling out without a thought. It took a second to process my statement before my face flushed and I looked down at the apple in my hand like it was the most interesting thing in the world. My brown gaze flicked up to his face occasionally, seeing a soft smile slip onto his face.

I felt him place his hand on my head, giving me a gentle pat. I stared up at him curiously through my hair. He had this adorably perplexed expression on his face as he stared down at me.

"I am showing my affection." Cole seemed to be struggling for a second, trying to form the right words. "It's warm, tepid – spreading and growing … ah, here-" He clasped my hand and placed it on his chest. Well, that sufficiently described how I felt right at that moment. Certainly one for words, wasn't he? "I'm sorry, sometimes I don't say it right."

"That's not true. You can say it however you like." It was a part of him I found quite endearing, actually. Though I do admit that sometimes it was a little hard to understand him. But it was just his way of expressing how he felt, how he saw things. It didn't necessarily mean he was doing it wrong. He was just different. I set my half eaten apple in my lap and tucked my hair behind my ear so that I could see him better.

"You understand."

"Most of the time, yes. Just because you do things differently doesn't mean that it's wrong."

"People are afraid of me because of it.  _'_ _It's n_ _ot right, creepy, shouldn't move like that.'_ But not you … never you." Cole's voice came out softly as he began to fiddle with his uneaten cookie.

"They're simply afraid of what they don't understand. That'll always be there, whether you're human or not." I tried to reason, feeling a frown etch itself onto my face. I really disliked when people were so quick to judge others. Despite the fact that I sometimes did it. I grabbed his hand and held it, "You don't scare me."

"No, I don't." Cole's fingers curled around mine, "Thank you."

* * *

It was maybe a couple of days later until Lynn announced that she was ready to take off, effectively pushing us into action. I didn't know how to feel about our new mission, to be honest. It was to be a learning experience and to help develop my fighting skills, because how was I to ever get better if I didn't get out and actually do it? I refused to admit that a big part of the reason was also because I couldn't stand the idea of being separated from Cole – er,  _my friends._ Yes. A month and a half was a long time!

I cinched the last belt on the saddle and stood back to appraise my handiwork. The brown mare flicked her tail, completely calm as I walked up to her and began to pet her soft velvety nose. I smiled softly at the animal, my horse. Skittles. She nipped at my pocket, a silent question for a treat. Laughing lightly, I pulled out my lunch and handed it to her. The horse devoured my apple out of my hand and I turned to look around, seeing everyone checking their supplies and strapping them to their own respective horses. We were just outside of the stables, getting ready for our long journey.

"Came to see you off, dearest sister." I heard Angel's voice from behind me. I turned and saw her standing next to Skittles with a small grin on her face. "They say you might not be back for awhile, thought I'd at least wish you luck."

"Luck. You know how  _unacquainted_  our family is with that word." I drawled from my place next to my horse's head. The sun shone off of my sister's hair, making it look almost brown in the light. Angel tilted her head to the side with a grin on her face,

"Yeah, well. Kyle seems to absorb most of the bad luck, so you should be fine." She spoke as she waved it off with one of her hands, referring to our other sibling. He was also an avid gamer, as were most of the people in our family. Even mother, who I'd much rather not think about at the moment. I sighed,

"Suppose you're right."

"Didja name her?"

"No." I replied almost immediately, looking at the horse with a forced frown etched into my face. I saw a pale hand come into view to pet the horse along with me, their hand gently running fingers down the nose of said horse.

"Skittles." I heard Cole mumble and my face crumpled in response. Damn it. I didn't want anyone to know. "She likes you. All of the horses do, even Lynn's hart. Calm, confident and serene – you care for them. You also feed them and that helps."

I couldn't help the short laugh that burst passed my lips as I turned to look at him. Of course, feeding the horses also helps with bonding. Well, the same thing went with most animals really. Even humans. Feed them and become instant friends! Though humans were a little more complex than that. A little. Angel was giggling,

"S-Skittles? You named your horse  _Skittles_?" My sister let out a short cackle at the name, peering up at me through her long waves as she bend forward and held her stomach. Was it really so funny? Though I do admit that it was a little silly to name my horse after a certain fruity snack back home. Skittles were probably the only candy I ever ate, aside from the occasional chocolate.

"You once named your pet tree  _Jeffrey_." Cole pointed out and Angel's expression morphed into shocked horror so fast I was pretty sure she got whiplash. I'd totally forgotten that she even had a pet tree at some point. It had died, of course. It was a sad day when I walked downstairs to see a mourning Angel in front of her withered little tree. Perhaps she should have watered it.

"Is there anything he  _doesn't_  know?!" Angel yelled in a high pitched tone. It seemed that since she's arrived at Skyhold, she's been encountering a lot of Cole's antics. The both of them are okay with each other, but I could tell that she was still a bit creeped out by him. I couldn't help but make it  _worse_ ,

"Ceiling Cole watches you masturbate."

"Noooo no no  _no_ , don't do that! I won't be able to do anything without looking over my shoulder, now!" She sounded completely freaked out as she looked between he and I, brown eyes so wide they almost bulged out of her eye sockets.

"I'm sorry." He said softly from his place at my side and I suppressed the urge to grin like a maniac.

"He didn't even deny it!" She shrieked and turned to run away. I watched her scurry up the stone stairs without even a glance back. I coughed into my hand, looking up at Cole with amusement flickering in my eyes.

"Ah, I just love doing that to her." I sighed, feeling content at the fact that I was able to actually make her run off this time. With Cole's help, of course. Torturing my sister was actually quite fun once you got into it. It reminded me of the time she tried to apologize to me for doing something incredibly mean by complimenting me. 'Nice hair', she'd said. 'Nice mustache', I'd replied – still upset at her. Good times.

On our way out of the Frostback Mountains we made our way into Emprise du Lion, which was just a stop on the way there. The horses were left behind at the Inquisition camp as we headed into a tattered looking town. The snow was still falling from the sky as it slowly started to build up on my shoulders, the crisp substance crunching underneath my boots. I sighed, seeing my breath come out in front of me.

Walking out in the snow like that really reminded me of home. Being from Minnesota, we encountered loads and loads of the fluffy stuff. I lifted my hand out as we slowly ambled down a slope and watched some of the flakes collect on my warm hand before melting.

I also realized what Dagna had been talking about when she said she put some 'extra stuff' on my armor. It kept me warm in the cold weather, since she'd put an enchantment on it. I need to remember to thank her when I get back to Skyhold.

When we got into the town, some of the houses were reduced to nothing but rubble with icicles that were so large that they towered over me. Some of the chunks of ice descended all the way to the ground and I stared at them in awe. Even where I was from, we hardly ever saw any that were  _that_  big.

There was barking in the distance but I paid it no mind as I watched the group fret about and speak to people. Lynn bustled around and talked to people like she usually did. A few of the others, including me, simply stood by and watched as they did what they did best. I wasn't good with words, I was just here for assistance.

"You seem pretty comfortable, despite it being so cold." I heard Krem speak up from beside me and I turned to him and nodded.

"Dagna put some enchantments on my armor." Was my simply reply as I idly stared at the snow on the ground.

"That's not all, though." He bent over and slowly began to make a snowball, "Feelin' homesick?" The warrior stood up straight and handed me the snowball with a smile. I took it out of his hands and examined it, thinking on his question. Did I miss home? Was that even home to me anymore?

"Not really." I fiddled with the snowball, turning it in my small fingers. "Home is where I am, now. Which is here."

"You do not seem particularly fond of your home, I have noticed." Cassandra popped in, causing me to blink. She was standing not far from Krem and was looking out toward the lake, which was iced over. "Your sister speaks highly of it with that incessant chatter of hers, but you hardly speak of it at all."

"Do you guys ever miss your home?" I tried to divert the attention from me as I looked over at the two. Cassandra frowned, probably knowing my tactic. Damn. Krem shook his head, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword as he shifted his weight on one foot.

"I left Tevinter for a reason, we already talked about this." He offered me a half smirk and I tilted my head. Ah, right. We did, didn't we? Sparring is, after all, not the only thing we did on our off time. It was … nice to have someone to talk to outside of my little circle I'd created. It was refreshing. But since Krem told me about his reasoning behind leaving, which was highly personal might I add, I felt like I at least owed him an explanation of sorts.

But for some reason I couldn't seem to get anything to come out. I wasn't ready to share that, yet.

Some townspeople in the background began whispering and I listened in, hearing them talk about putting down a rabid dog. I'd been listening for anything, just in case. But it seemed the only gossip around was about Red Templars, which was why we were here, and some rabid dog.

"We can talk about this later … I'm going to go and check out this 'rabid' dog everyone is talking about." I shrugged and walked off, hearing the snow crunch underneath my feet as I went in the direction of the barks. I had simply looked for a reason to run off. Answering questions about myself made me incredibly uncomfortable.

When I got there, the door was locked and the roof was caved in. I squinted, seeing a ladder on the side of the house. Once at the top, I was able to peer down and get a good look at the dog. It was a rather muscular looking one, chained up to the wall and almost frothing at the mouth as it barked constantly. It took notice of me, growling in warning. I lowered my head, staring at it in curiosity. The dog was freaking  _massive_.

Why was it even chained up inside? Where was it's owner, for that matter? Now that I thought about it, it didn't even look all that cared for. Not just something like 'a couple of days without food' but almost looked like it wasn't even cared for even before the Red Templars came through. I frowned, feeling my hands ball into fists. People can be unnecessarily cruel, sometimes.

"I see you've found the dog." I heard Lynn's accented voice call from below, just outside of the house. I let a breath out of my nose and peeked over to look at her. She'd taken off not long after to close a nearby rift with a few from the party, apparently she was back.

"Yes." I mumbled and she shook her head, waving at me to come down.

"We're going to go out and clear the nearby area of any hostiles. You going to stay here to set up camp or come and help?" She asked, giving me pause as I hefted my body over the edge to climb down the ladder. I wasn't necessarily the most skilled fighter, so it came off as a little surprise to me that she would even think to ask. I mean, she never told me what I could and could not do. So … she was probably one of those 'freedom of choice' kinds of leaders. Hah.

"Nah, you guys are seasoned warriors. You'll be fine. I think I'll go and hunt for dinner real quick. It won't take me long." I answered as I slid the rest of the way down, hitting the snowy ground with a  _'thud!'._

"Just don't stray too far." Lynn warned with a small smile and I felt my lips twitch in response. Yeah, I usually stayed within 'screeching distance' as I liked to call it. So it should be fine. I thought I saw some rams of some sort just across the lake somewhere, anyway. Hunting was something that I was actually familiar with, along with fishing and all the like. At least some of my skills would come to use around here.

I trudged back into camp maybe two and a half hours later with an August Ram dragging behind me in the snow, one of its hind legs missing. I'd cleaned it out in the woods, leaving the innards for some scavenger to have. Doing it at camp would have made it unnecessarily messy and I wasn't sure if anyone was squeamish about that kind of stuff. Though it was doubtful, because Lynn and Bull had cleaned their catches in front of everyone before it was cooked before. Bah, cleaning it made it easier to drag back to camp anyway.

The soft sound of idle chatter greeted me as I walked up to the fire and dropped the thing in front of the Inquisitor. She looked a little worse for the wear, sporting a nice sized bruise on the side of her face and blood splattered all over her white leather armor. I winced, wondering why she'd gone with white in the first place. It stained so easily.

"Nice catch, Screech. But why is it missing a leg?" Varric asked and I shrugged with a mischievous gleam in my eye. He didn't need to know. It didn't take long until someone began to cut it up and put it over the fire to cook. I was never a good cook, so it had to be someone else that did it. Lest they wanted burnt meat for dinner.

I took a seat on a log, holding my hands out to warm up closer to the fire. The warmth curled and enveloped my frozen fingers and I let out a quiet sigh. It was more than just a bit chilly when the sun started to set off in the distance. My armor and clothing kept me warm, for the most part, but did nothing for my poor hands. I really needed some gloves.

"Stop doing that, I can hear how you're looking at me." Sera peered over at the dwarf sitting not far away, "You're doing that thing where you describe what we're doing."

"Narration. And you can hear how I'm looking?" Said dwarf asked with a small chuckle.

"That's a thing. Just stop it."

"I will try my best not to do the impossible."

"He replied with an evil glint in his eye. The dwarf cackled inwardly as he stared at the back of Sera's head.  _'She'll never know'_ " I rattled out in a bland tone, staring at the two. Varric whipped his head in my direction and I could have sworn I saw his grin widen.

"Not you, too!" Sera groaned and her small hands covered her face.

"Sera yelled disdainfully, but on the inside she was secretly jealous of her friend's skill and amazingly good taste in clothing." I continued, seeing my elf friend begin to twitch in place from her position on a log. Dorian snorted as if disagreeing with my statement. Hey! Opinions. In my holy opinion, my taste in clothing was superior because of comfort.

"But that's not what she was thinking at all." Cole pointed out the obvious and I fought to keep a grin from forming on my face when Sera turned to him slowly. The illumination from the fire brightened everyone's faces as we sat around and waited for our dinner. The crackle of the fire and a few other quiet conversations were going on in the background, but I paid them no mind.

"Really, Cole? What  _was_  she thinking?" I asked curiously and he opened his mouth to reply, but was promptly cut off by Sera's screech of horror.

"Shut it! Don't you dare, Creepy!" The belligerent elf, for the most part, actually seemed upset as she stood up abruptly and stomped off. I knew she stomped off quite a bit, but that time I think I may have actually pissed her off. Ah, shit. My lips twitched into a small frown as she crawled into her tent to be alone.

It was quiet for a time, the only sound being the other companions as they spoke between one another amiably. Varric finally decided to speak up, "Soooo, you a writer or something?"

"Huh?" I directed my brown gaze at him and tilted my head. A writer? Gods, no. Writing was so difficult I doubt I'd be able to string coherent enough sentences together to make a good story. I mean, I wrote back home but that didn't mean I was any  _good_  at it. Not like Varric was, anyhow.

"Narration. You aren't so bad at it."

"Ah, well … I wrote a fanfiction or two back in my world." I shrugged, seeing him look a bit confused at my statement. I grunted, thinking of how I'd even explain it. "Fanfiction is like fan made writing for a fandom/book that already exists. Just stuff people think of for their favorite series and stuff."

"I think I get it, but what did you write then?" Varric asked and I felt my face turn a bit pink.

"Nothing too serious, really. I read it more often than not." I explained, trying to keep my voice even. It came out a bit shaky, anyway. Talking about my secret hobby was a little embarrassing. "There are fanfictions written for the legends I spoke about for Thedas. Everyone knows Lynn's closest friends back there." I shivered, recalling some of the rather … detailed smutty fics I'd stumbled across. I wasn't particularly fond of them. Too touchy feely, for my tastes. If you know what I mean.

"You mentioned them once to Cullen, yeah." The dwarf began to chuckle rather heartily when my face began to turn redder at the memory. God damn it that was humiliating as hell. I hadn't even apologized to him for that, I was too … scared. I didn't want to face the Commander and just pretended it didn't happen. He seemed perfectly fine with doing the same thing, as well. No problem. "It's hard to wrap my head around, if I'm to be completely honest here. But it's usually the most unbelievable stories that are the most truthful. Not even I can dream up some of the shit you've told us."

"Yeah, shit kinda happens." I agreed, my hand resting underneath my chin as I thought about it.

"What kinds of things do they even write about?" Krem asked, obviously having been listening in. I shrugged, peeking over at him as I idly began to thread my fingers through my loose hair. A nervous habit, because that was the most talking I'd done in front of a couple of people in awhile. Usually I simply contributed to conversation, this was … different. They were asking  _me_  questions.

"They usually write about two pre-existing characters and pair them together. A popular one being Cullen and Lavellan. Like romance and shit. Or they create their own characters and insert them into the 'story'." I made air quotes and felt my eyebrow twitch, "It sounds so fucking weird when I explain it."

"Yeah … it kinda is. Just the fact that we were simply a 'story' to you, at one point …" Incomprehensible, no doubt. The warrior agreed slowly, his eyebrows slowly raising. "Who's the most popular to write about?"

Well, Krem was always kind of curious about my home world. It didn't surprise me that he was the one asking me questions, now. He'd even talked to Angel a few times about it and I saw them sitting around at the table during dinners simply chatting like long lost friends. I was glad that Angel was making friends in this world, at the very least.

But onwards, who's most popular huh? This was going to be a bit awkward.

"Cullen and Solas." I murmured, squinting across the fire at said bald elf. His attention, which had originally been on his staff, now diverted up to the three of us who were talking. I saw him raise a brow. I had no doubt he was probably listening. "Not together, of course. But they're popular with the ladies back there." I shivered at the thought. I'd only glimpsed into the Inquisition fanfictions, simply because I did not want spoilers. But the stuff I did see...

"Chuckles? I can see Curly being popular, since he's got this whole 'pretty boy' vibe going on. But …  _Chuckles?"_ Varric repeated Solas' nickname at the end, almost like he couldn't believe it.

"Maybe they have a thing for weird elf men, I don't know. I didn't finish the 'story', so it's unknown to me." I shrugged, "There were quite a few that featured you, Varric, don't worry. Ah, and Fenris is quite popular as well."

"Broody? Are you kidding me, right now?" It seemed my information was confusing a certain dwarf and all that could come out of his mouth was questions and more questions. The thought itself amused me greatly.

"Sometimes people pair him with Hawke." Was my bland reply and I saw tears of mirth spring to his eyes almost instantly as he let out a hysterical sounding laugh. "I'm going to assume they don't get along that well."

"T-That's an understatement." He responded between laughs, his chubby hand hitting his thigh as if to try and calm himself. "I'll tell you  _why_  they don't get along … This one time-"

Varric began to tell us a story about the two and some of the shit they got into. If I recalled correctly, we could have chosen between Hawke or some Warden man to die back at Adamant Fortress. That's only how far I got, however. The Hawke here, had obviously survived. Otherwise Varric wouldn't be so open to speaking about him. Once the food was done, I grabbed a small bit for Sera and took off toward her tent to try and apologize. I hadn't intended to overstep her boundaries when it came to Cole. It was an accident. A dumb one, because I should have known.

The snow slowly fell on our tents from the darkened sky, creating a small white blanket atop the soft material. I opened the tent flap and peeked in, seeing a candle lit as Sera sat with one leg drawn up to her chest atop her bedroll. The blonde elf peered up and saw me, frowning and going back to picking at her fingernails with one of her throwing knives.

"I'm sorry." I offered quietly, "I shouldn't have done that, I hadn't realized-"

"Yeah, whatever." Sera interrupted and I frowned, feeling a stab of remorse. Shit.

"Alright." My voice snapped out, covering the small amount of pain I felt with irritation, as I set a wooden plate with some of the food next to the entrance and left. I knew Sera was scared of Cole, so why did I irritate the situation even more? Stupid, on my part. Shouldn't have done it. I grumbled a bit as I crawled into my own tent and began to unlatch my armor and set it aside. I was about halfway through when I heard Cole enter and begin to do the same thing. We were silent, save for the sounds of our leather armor and metal pieces dropping on the tent floor with soft  _'click'_ s and  _'thud'_ s.

Since I usually went to sleep early, they usually gave me the last watch before everyone got up and ready. Which really wasn't an issue anyway, getting up early didn't seem to bother me as much as it used to before.

It took me awhile to actually begin to get comfortable, since it was still chilly even in here. Once my armor had been taken off, the enchantments obviously weren't effective. Did they have enchantments like that for tents? It would come in handy, really. Perhaps to keep us warm in the cold climates and keep us cool in the hot climates?

My mind drifted back to the upset look on Sera's face and couldn't help but feel bad again. How does one apologize? Obviously my verbal apology had not worked. Unless I'd just simply give her some time and try again? I didn't like being on bad terms with one of my closest friends. It bothered me.

I tossed onto my side, squinting in the dark. Cole was curled up on his side facing me, no doubt probably catching onto my turmoil in my head at the moment.

"Sera won't stay mad for long." His voice came out quiet, "She cares about you a lot, you know."

"I hope so." I scooted a bit closer, a silent question. One he understood as I heard him shuffle around a bit too, warmth slowly curling over my body as I felt him embrace me. I sat there with my cheek pressed against his chest when I heard him start to hum to a song I couldn't hear. Muscles I didn't even know were tensed slowly began to relax as I felt my eyes drooping. I drifted off to sleep that night to the sound of Cole's humming and a steady heartbeat.

**Third Person**

The group was split up only briefly for a day or so, half going up and clearing the way and half staying behind to help some of the people in the small town they'd camped just outside of. It was on their third day that they were going to make their way out of Emprise du Lion that anyone even noticed the sudden absence of a certain otherworlder. Cole, of course, already knew where she'd left to but was told to stay behind just in case anyone needed her.

Everyone already had their things packed and ready to go when Cassandra shifted on her feet and began to count heads, seeing one missing.

"Where has that girl gone off to, this time?" The Seeker sounded curious as she crossed her arms over her shiny plate armor. It hadn't gone unnoticed by some that the woman would often disappear at odd times during their short time there. Though they paid no attention, since there were more important things to do than keep an eye on the young woman.

"She … was hunting last time she left. Something tells me that's not what she's doing, though." Varric shook his head as he looked over at Cole. "Screech knew we were leaving soon, got any clue where she wandered off to?"

Of course he did. Cole tilted his head down, as to cover his expression with his hat. An odd habit that he'd picked up awhile back. "Unwanted and left to die. He was hungry, so she fed him." He answered.

The Inquisitor, who had been standing nearby as they spoke, suddenly went pale at Cole's statement. It seemed the elf knew exactly what the rogue was speaking of.

"She's going to get herself killed one of these days!" Lavellan sounded worried as she started off in the direction of the town. Cole and Cassandra followed along, calling back to the rest of the group that they'd be back shortly. The only response they'd gotten was a grunt from Blackwall as he returned to rummaging through his things on his horse.

Cole had to pick up his pace to keep up with Inquisitor Lavellan, but they came upon a shoddy looking house. The roof was completely caved in, aside from a portion near a ladder. The wavy haired elf climbed up the ladder in haste and peered down into the house. It was silent and Cole already knew what the Inquisitor was seeing, he could hear it.

Lynn stared down at the scene before her with widened grey eyes. Of all the scenarios that had come to mind when she stomped off, this was definitely not one of them. Below, Lyn was sitting calmly on the ground with the burly looking dog laying at her side. His head was resting on her lap as she gently ran her fingers through his fur. His collar was discarded not far away, having been cut off with a knife of sorts. The woman peered up, looking at the dalish elf sitting on the roof staring down at her.

"Back home people sometimes bought expensive dogs, like they were mere objects instead of companions." Lyn explained from below, the dog's ears twitched as if listening. The woman's face morphed into that of disgust as she stared off at the wall, "I believe this may be such a case. He's been uncared for far before what happened in this town." Her expression turned dark as she stared down at where his collar had been, fur missing and skin raw. It also looked like he was barely getting into his adult stages, paws still almost too big for his body.

"I believe he is what one would call a Mabari." Lavellan mumbled, taking in his muscular form and cropped tail. Lyn nodded in response, small fingers caressing dark brown fur.

"I wish to release him somewhere safe once we leave this area." She stated, face set in determination. "He didn't deserve this."

"Are you sure you don't just want to keep him? Mabari are pretty … expensive dogs."

"That doesn't matter. If he wants to stay, sure. But it's his choice whether he wants to go or not."

"If he can keep up with us, I have no problem with it. It's your responsibility if he ends up hurting anyone, though." Lynn sounded firm as she spoke to the otherworlder, getting an affirmative nod from her. "I was wondering why you were suddenly hunting for the camp."

The woman looked up at the roof with a sheepish look on her face before she stood up, brushing off her bottom as she looked down at the Mabari. "Oy, you ready to get out of here boy?"

The elf swore she heard the dog grunt at Lynn in response as she walked over to the door to unlock it.

**First Person**

It didn't surprise me when I heard the familiar sound of someone unsheathing their sword as I opened the door to step out. I was greeted with the sight of Cassandra and Cole standing just outside of the door, the former holding out her sword and looking at the scraggly Mabari at my side. The poor thing had been in worse condition when we first arrived here. His fur was dirty and some patches missing around his neck from the collar rubbing too tightly. Since I'd been feeding him, however, he seemed to almost fill out a little and could actually walk without wobbling around.

I scowled at Cassandra, but otherwise kept quiet as I walked by. My new furry friend, of course, followed close by and gave the Seeker a warning growl when she pointed her sword at him. He must have looked menacing with the blood all over his face from the food I'd been giving him these passed three days. The Mabari was utterly  _massive_ , I've got to say. I'd never seen a dog that big, even the Great Danes in my world didn't have anything on this dog. He was built like a Mastiff and no doubt bred for war. It showed in the way he held himself as he walked beside me.

Animals were, and always will be, easier for me to get along with than people. So it didn't come as a surprise when the massive dog began to warm up to me after I started delivering him some food from the roof twice a day. It didn't take long for him to realize I wasn't a threat and I simply wanted to help.

Lynn had explained to me that the owner of the house had passed away and no one wanted anything to do with the 'rabid dog' that lived there. Despite being a Mabari, it seemed he had quite the reputation in the little town. If any of the reactions from the townspeople when we walked by were anything to go by. They'd jump back or sometimes even scream at the sight of the dog and I almost wanted to laugh at how comical it seemed.

"It's alright, they don't know that secretly you're a big softy." I mumbled and the dog gave me a blank look as if to tell me to 'shut up'. I wondered if the only reason he was even following me was because I'd fed him. Or if it was because I was his only ticket out of this hell-hole. Ah, it didn't matter.

"He likes you." Cole spoke and I could practically hear the smile in his tone. The dog turned to examine the rogue and both began a staring contest of sorts.

We slowly made our way over toward the rest of the group so that we could head up to claim a keep before we left. When the companions came into view, we were close enough to where I could see Varric's eyes practically bulge out of his head as he saw the beast walking beside me.

I didn't blame him, because when we were standing in front of him the dog was easily the same height as he was. "Shit." Was all he could say as he looked at him.

"It seems Lyn has made a new furry friend." The Inquisitor spoke up and I could see some of them look at him with unease. Bull, however, seemed to brighten at the sight of the dog.

"Oh, ain't he cute?" He cooed and I felt my face falter. I hadn't expected that. Mainly because he was a big burly warrior and … wow. "What's your name, little guy?" The Qunari walked right up to the Mabari and held out his hand in greeting. The dog simply stared at him with a bored look in his eye before he turned to look at me. I stared at the two with a raised brow.

"He is … a friend. And I do not know his name." I spoke, seeing the dog turn and put his nose on Bull's outstretched hand before sitting down to examine the rest of the group warily.

"As long as he does not decide to eat one of us, I have no issue with him." Cassandra spoke up from beside me and I nodded in response.

We'd made our way up the trail and come across a cave of sorts. Icicles dangled from the top, making me feel a bit nervous. What if one of them dropped on my head? That'd be just my luck. Oh, I encounter Ben-Hassrath and fight against Venatori but I'm done in by an icicle. Bad Luck Lyn at it's finest. I skittered behind the group as we made our way around a bend. There was a strange red crystal-like substance jutting out of the ground on the side of the cave and I felt my hairs rise as we got close to it.

Red Lyrium, if I remembered correctly. The stuff seemed to give me the creeps and as we ambled by, it almost seemed … warm. It created it's own heat, like it was alive. I shivered,

"I don't like it..." I murmured, my hands clasped together to keep warm. Cole, who was standing beside me, spoke up in response.

"It's very angry. It sings … sick music." Ah, so he didn't like it either. Though I'm sure he got a very different read on the stuff. I honestly didn't envy his gift and wondered how he could stay sane knowing the thoughts and emotions of everyone around him. Occasionally  _things_ , like Red Lyrium for instance. That would suck.

"Yes." I whispered in response, scuttling forward away from the creepy stuff. My furry friend made a faint sounding whine as he stumbled forward to look at me almost inquisitively. My hands came up and gently ran through his fur near his ears, "It's fine."

When we exited on the other side of the small cave, we came across a small amount of enemies. Red Templars, to be exact. I'd never seen them before and was silently thankful for that, because they looked hideous. I watched as one of them seemed to grow bigger, the red crystal-like stuff jutting out of it's skin and making it appear as though it was some deformed beast. I felt my stomach drop as they turned to our group and ran forward. Their group was smaller than ours, but that didn't mean they were any easier to kill.

At least they weren't bears, right?

They fought viciously with even more vigor than any of the enemies I'd come across in my short time here on Thedas. Bandits were  _easy_  compared to these guys. Red Templars were faster, stronger and didn't even appear to tire as we attacked their smaller group. How had Lynn and a smaller party fared against these guys? I remembered hearing her talk about clearing the roads of these guys the passed few days. Red Templars were nothing to scoff about.

My legs felt wobbly in my anxious state as I watched a small group of our warriors swarm this huge one that had the red stuff practically growing out of it's back and all over it's body. It  _towered_  over even Iron Bull as he let out a war cry to distract the thing from the others. It was a behemoth, if I remembered correctly. Its body was almost completely covered in Red Lyrium, as it limped forward. One of it's hands was completely encased in the red crystal-like substance as it swung it's hand like an oversized hammer. It sent Bull flying back and my eyes widened in alarm as he tumbled on the ground before stumbling into a standing position again. I couldn't even scream for him to get up before Krem and Cassandra were on the thing.

Even from as far away as I was, since I was one of the squishy people, I could feel how the ground seemed to vibrate every time the thing moved. The sounds of metal clashing on metal rung in the background like some horrifying bell and I couldn't seem to keep my eyes on everything at once. So much going on at the same time caused me to feel a bit nauseated. Or it might have been how they looked. They may have once been men...but they weren't anymore. At least, I didn't think so.

Arrows did little against it as the small group took turns darting forth and slashing and hacking away at the behemoth. I was positioned right beside Solas and Varric, who were casting/firing whenever they could. I heard a low menacing growl from right behind me, causing me to freeze up with my arrow half notched. A dark brown blur flew passed me at my left and I saw my furry friend latch onto a rogue of some sort. It seemingly appeared out of thin air as the dog clawed and gnawed at it.  _Was_  it a rogue? I wasn't even sure, but it had been invisible and I thought only rogues could do that.

"Enemy!" I yelled, aiming at it and trying to get a good shot without accidentally hurting the Mabari. It latched onto the enemy viciously and shook it's head from it's place on his neck. The thing snarled in response, trying to rip at the dog to get him off. Both of it's arms were encased in the red crystal-like substance, tapering off to deadly points as it struggled with the war beast.

"I see it, Screech." Varric called, trying to put some of his crossbow bolts into the thing. The metal on the monster's fullhelm glinted in the light as it focused it's attention on the dog latched onto it's neck. Shit shit  _shit_. That thing is fucking ugly!

I felt my blood freeze as one of the things arms was able to slash at the dog and I saw blood spurt out of the animal's side. The Mabari was relentless and refused to let go, but seemingly had no choice as it was flung off of the monster and into the snow not far away. A strangled yelp rang through the air and the hunched form of the enemy turned toward the three of us. Three impossibly squishy people in the back and the warriors were all occupied. _Just our luck._

"Mother of-" I didn't even get a chance to complete that sentence as it lunged forward and knocked Solas to the ground and was about to pounce on top of him. The bald elf grunted and tried to roll out of the way. I didn't think, only reacted, as I dove forward and tackled the thing. The both of us toppled over and rolled in the snow. It snarled and I felt my stomach drop as dread filled me.  _What the fuck_ _did I just do_ _?!_

I screeched, pushing myself off of it and stumbling into an upright position. When it slashed it was mere inches from me as it got up and appeared as if it were about to attack. Staggering backwards was the only thing that I could do as it approached, not even thinking of where it was that I was going. My mind was on one thing and one thing only, the creepy enemy with Red Lyrium for arms.

"What are you doing?!"

"Get out of the way!"

"Shit!"

Simultaneous yells filled the air and I couldn't even distinguish who, and I felt my foot get caught on something as the ground next to me vibrated so much that I fell. My body flopped ungracefully onto my back and I saw a massive red blur fly right passed my face, the air shifting right over my (now prone) body. I'd almost gotten bludgeoned. Perhaps out of sheer luck and complete and utter lack of skill, I'd fallen and saved my own ass somehow. It was then that I noticed that I was laying on my back  _right next_  to that huge behemoth that I'd been so terrified of just minutes ago.

Adrenaline pumped through my body and now all I could think about was running. I attempted to scramble away but was knocked to the ground again by something blunt and unforgiving, the world seemingly rotated. I think I heard someone yell my name, but wasn't completely sure. My body finally stopped a small distance away, face first in the snow, and it felt like I couldn't even breathe. The cold bit at my face and made my skin feel almost raw. Oddly enough, the only reason I couldn't breathe was because of the sudden movement and my body jolting upon contact with the ground. Not the fact that I'd likely almost gotten either skewered like a Lyn-kabob or … squished.

_What the hell?_

It didn't matter, because I clambered up and pulled out my dagger to face my enemy. Only there wasn't one, because I'd turned around just in time to see Cole fighting the Red Templar. He spun and dodged, his daggers slashing and stabbing with an experience in battle that I so clearly lacked. His lithe form could so easily dodge the enemies attacks, only to spring back and continue his assault. The rogue pulled his dagger out of the man's body, letting him fall to the ground with a very heavy sounding  _'thud!'_. It had been one of those Templar guards with the huge square shields and he'd so easily dispatched him?

With his innocent and kind nature, it was pretty easy to forget just how deadly he could be. The same young man that handled me with such gentle care could just as easily disembowel an enemy for threatening my very existence. It was quite the stark contrast, really.

When I looked back up at Cole, he seemed to have this almost … menacing look on his face as he stared down at the dead enemy. Everything was deathly quiet aside from some heavy breathing and some groans on the edge of the battlefield. I looked down at my hands, seeing a blueish glow that seemed to envelope my whole body. Had someone cast a barrier on me? That would explain why I wasn't dead right then, because I wasn't even sure what had knocked me to the ground just seconds ago. Maybe that Red Templar's shield?

My brown eyes flicked back up again, seeing Cole now staring back at me with slightly narrowed eyes on his otherwise placid features. He did  _not_  look happy. Oh... shit. My shoulders slumped when I realized I'd likely just made more problems for everyone.

"Shit, girl! You distracted that thing long enough to let me drive my blade up it's ass." Bull's loud voice echoed through the air, causing a few people to look up curiously. I stood there awkwardly, slowly sheathing my dagger.

"You didn't shove it in it's ass, Chief. We all saw what  _really_  happened." Krem sounded exasperated and he turned his attention to me, "What were you even thinking?"

"I wasn't." Was my simple answer as I sighed, trying to calm my poor little heart. It was still thudding relentlessly from my near death experience. I could have easily gotten crushed by that behemoth that was now laying limp in the snow not far away.

Did I get knocked to the ground by  _that_  or something else? I wasn't even sure.

I take back my statement about them 'at least' not being bears. Red Templars were far scarier than bears. There, I said it. They were like these … super soldiers. Creepy and deformed super soldiers that want to rip us apart. At least bears were furry and didn't have red shit sticking out of their bodies!

I stomped off, seeing Cole follow close by in my peripheral vision as I made my way toward the poor dog that was laying in the snow near Varric and Solas. The bald elf was knelt right next to the huge war-hound, patching him up and casting spells here and there. It dawned on me just then that the other mages had been occupied and Solas had probably been the one to barrier me before my brush with death. Well, maybe not  _death_  but certainly saved me from the excruciating pain I'd likely be in had I not been protected somehow.

Before we could get any closer, I felt a hand enclose around my arm to stop me. I turned and saw a troubled looking Cole. It seemed he was having a difficult time choosing whether to be angry or worried. Crap.

"Y-You can't keep doing that. Heedless, thoughtless whenever someone you care about is going to get hurt.  _You_  matter too!" He blurted, pulling me closer to him. "I'm afraid. So afraid that one day you won't come back alive. Warmth gone, dead, cold and empty."

"I didn't know what else to do, he was about to get shredded by the enemy." I mumbled sadly, feeling bad for making him feel like that. "But I will be more careful, Cole. I promise."

That seemed to placate him, even just a little as his posture loosened a bit. "I-I can't lose you."

"You won't." I tried to reassure, reaching forward to gave his hand a squeeze. If this battle had happened anywhere near the first time I'd arrived in this world, I'd have likely been dead in seconds. So it wasn't like there was no improvement on my part. It was a very slow process, but I was getting better at keeping myself alive at least. That has to count for something, right? Even if I did just … stumble around like a damned fool. A lucky fool, nonetheless.

I turned to look at the Mabari, who was laying in the snow a short distance away. He kept giving Solas these irritated looks as the elf continued to push him down so that he could tend to his wounds. If it weren't for him, one of us squishies would have been … squished? No, probably shredded or stabbed. Yeah. I snorted and took a few steps forward to get a better look at him. Blood matted the side of his body, staining his dark brown fur, but he seemed fine otherwise. Solas had made sure of that. Ugh. I'd have to  _thank_  Solas later, now.

"The laceration isn't too deep, fortunately. He will be fine." I heard Solas speak up, not even having to hear my question. The Mabari let out a sound akin to a groan/whine, but sat up just fine otherwise. Ignoring the piercing stare the bald elf seemed to give me just then, I leaned forward to look at my furry friend.

"Thank you. Guess we're even now, huh?" I grinned when the dog only seemed to respond with something akin to a grumbling growl. Although I didn't risk my life to save his ass back in that town, so I suppose maybe I was in  _his_ debt now? Shit like this is confusing.

I let a drawn out breath exhale through my nose as I looked around for my bow, which had somehow gotten lost during the scuffle. Today was going to be a long fucking day.


	28. Expedition

It took some time before everyone was patched up and ready to move on. Surprisingly, not very many of us had even gotten seriously injured. Though there were a few, in which it was decided it would be best to be left behind before they entered Suliden Keep. Having injured allies would only prove to drag the rest of them down, which I agreed with. I wasn't hurt, myself, and almost decided to stay behind (for the same reason the injured people were staying behind). It was a last minute decision that brought me along, not wanting to feel completely useless.

Even with my insistence, the dog did not seem to want to stay behind despite his injuries. It was cute, but worrying at the same time. The poor thing had already gone through so much and here he was, having to help us through battles not even a day after he was released from his captivity. Not that I felt ungrateful, or anything.

We were going to leave Emprise du Lion, since the rest of the area that needed to be scouted was across this broken bridge that needed to be repaired. But first and foremost, we'd went and claimed Suledin Keep to finish things off before we left. It hadn't been that difficult, seeing as how we had  _everyone_  with us. (Aside from the few that needed to stay behind) It was a little overkill, if you ask me. In the game you can only bring three others, but everyone? They stood no chance. The archers and mages didn't even really have to do much as the warriors simply plowed through our enemies with their big shiny swords.

Said enemies were even more grossly infected with Red Lyrium. It seemed not just people were getting experimented on with the stuff. Because we came across a few giants that were infected with the red crystal-like substance. It was horrifying, to put it simply.

There was also this demon named Imshael. Oh sorry,  _Choice Spirit._  He was a little quirky and had asked Lavellan a question about what she wanted, to which she'd asked for virgins (jokingly). I learned something that day. Either that or I'd imagined it somehow, but he looked  _right at Cole_  and practically pointed out that he was the only virgin there. It didn't surprise me, really.

Cole, for the most part, did not seem at all phased by the fact that everyone now knew. If anything, he just didn't seem to care.

The battle with Imshael was actually more difficult than the enemies we'd encountered beforehand. He'd transformed into a few different forms and had actually ended up injuring some of our allies, which meant that we were now traveling at a much slower pace due to that.

Which brought us to our current predicament as we camped and rested for the night. We'd stopped early due to Blackwall and a few of the Chargers being in pretty bad condition. Bad condition to them meaning they needed more than one healing session. Stitches was working overtime to make sure they were comfortable in the small medical tent we'd erected for him.

I sighed, looking at the Mabari in front of me as I sat on the ground. He was seated upright, as well, and he was taller than I was when we were like this. I sat cross-legged and have been throwing names out at him to see if any of them stuck. Cole, Solas and Varric were seated not far away by the fire. The latter looked amused at some of the stuff I'd blurted these passed few minutes.

"Fluffy." I drawled, getting a growl out of the dog. That's a no. "Mr. Fuzzles!" He growled again and I couldn't help but snicker at the next one, "Barkspawn." The Mabari seemingly gave me a blank stare like 'really...?'.

"You're not really good at this, are you Screech?"

"Not at all." I huffed and sat there for a few beats before I mumbled, "I should just name you after  _Ironhide_  because you're so damn grumpy." Grumpy Autobots for the win.

He growled/groaned.

"Definitely grumpy. Maybe  _Growly_  would be sufficient."

"You know, the Dalish tell their dogs to 'take the Dread Wolf by the ear if he comes'. They are seen as protectors against unwanted wild beasts." I heard Dalish speak up in an idle tone, from across the fire.

"Oh?" I was a bit intrigued, I suppose. Though I had no idea who the Dread Wolf was, I still didn't mind sitting down at the fire for a nice story nonetheless. It was nice, because usually it was Varric regaling us with stories of his journeys or even just ones he's heard over his time in this world.

Dalish started telling a story of a clan that lived on the Silent Plains and how the Dread Wolf came. The dog protected his master and chased him away and all that good nonsense. It was quite the interesting tale, I've got to say. Though I couldn't help but remember snippets because Merrill had told the same story in Dragon Age II. "Neither hound nor Wolf gave in. Finally, Fen'Harel bit off his own tail to escape, and away he fled. Ever since, the Dread Wolf thinks twice about playing his tricks when dogs are on guard."

She finished the story in a rather ominous tone and I sat there, quiet for awhile.

"Huh." I spoke as an idea slowly clicked into my head. We had a few dalish elves in our group, why not give them a scare? "What do you think, boy? Fen'Harel sounds like a pretty awesome name."

Dalish looked absolutely horrified from her spot across the fire but otherwise didn't say anything to protest my statement. Maybe she couldn't. The dog huffed and laid down on his belly, looking at me with that blank stare of his.

"Who's a good Fenny?  _Fenny is a good boy!_ " I gave the Mabari a pat on the head and his paws came up to cover his face. Essentially, I'd made my furry friend facepalm. Or was it a facepaw? He'd likely simply given up on my complete and utter lack of skill at naming him, at this point.

"Are you sure you do not wish to think of a more … suitable name for your companion? Surely naming him after the  _Dread Wolf_ would be nothing short of embarrassing." Solas spoke up from beside an amused looking Varric. I flicked my brown gaze up at him and suppressed the urge to grin at his empty stare.

Them's fighting words, Solas. Insulting someone you didn't even know, how rude.

"I'm sure Fen'Harel wouldn't mind. It's not like he'd know anyway. Isn't he some … God or something?" I made a  _'pfffft'_  sound and waved him off. The hobo-mage began to fiddle with his staff when he replied,

"You never know."

"Y-You can't possibly name the poor thing after Fen'Harel!" Dalish blurted finally, her face red from either anger or embarrassment? She might have been angry, I didn't know.

"Fen'Harel couldn't be  _that_  bad, could he? He couldn't be any more of an asshat than Solas, here." I reasoned as I motioned toward the man in question. I realized that I was probably insulting her culture in some unforgiving way and would likely apologize later if I needed to. It was too tempting, though. The expressions on their faces were worth it. I think I even saw Lynn peek over at us with a slightly miffed look on her face.

"Ugh!" The blonde mage threw her face into her hands, effectively giving up on me. The bald elf let out a drawn out sigh as he rubbed his face in an irritated manner. His expression did not change much, however.

Elves are so weird sometimes. I'm not racist, I have elf friends. Speaking of elf friends.

Sera looked absolutely pleased.

The impression I got just then was that the Dread Wolf was some form of the boogey man in this world. Probably a story of sorts to scare their children into being good or going to bed on time. But … then again, you never know. This is  _Thedas_ , after all. Shit here worked differently.

"You're insufferable." Solas murmured and I scoffed.

"Just don't hit me with your stick, Old Man." The elf gave me a look that clearly said he wanted to do  _more_  than just hit me with his stick. That look wasn't gonna work on me. I'd gotten worse from mother. Now  _she_ wasa force to be reckoned with. As bitchy as she was, I still recognized her ability to pretty much incinerate me with a look.

In the end I couldn't even think of a name for my poor furry companion. It will come. Eventually.

**Third Person**

Cole was spoken to that night somewhere secluded, Solas questioning whether Lyn actually knew about his little secret or not. The bald elf was aware that the otherworlder knew of a 'story' that spoke of the Inquisition and he was unsure if his true identity would have been uncovered or not. The blonde rogue replied that she had no clue that he was, in fact, the Dread Wolf. He knew that Solas simply wanted to right his wrongs and that saying anything would only end up hurting more than it would help. Thus is the reason why he said nothing.

The spirit-turned-human knew that the two of them did not get along and only hoped that they'd at least learn to tolerate one another at some point. Solas was, after all, his friend. And Lyn … well, she was very important to him. Angel had called her his girlfriend, since they were more than just friends now. The teen had also tried to threaten him, but didn't really do a good job at it.

When Cole curled up that night to get some sleep, the woman next to him was practically vibrating in place as she waited for him to get comfortable. For a person that usually detested physical contact so immensely, she really did love to cuddle.

He wasn't complaining, because he was the same way.

It was dark, save for the small sliver of light shooting through the crack in the tent flap. The fire was still crackling outside as Bull sat awake for first watch. Cole scooted closer to Lyn and she mirrored him, small hands clasping at his white shirt that he wore underneath his armor. She burrowed underneath their shared blanket. He could hear it, just then. The small echoes in the back of her head. Things she wanted to say but never did.

"You love me." Cole stated after a moment when they got settled for the night. It wasn't said as a question, rather a statement. He knew. She may not have said it aloud, but he could hear the whispers whenever they got close or were alone doing things with one another. Especially at times like this when they were huddled up close. The rogue heard her sigh as she shifted around, her unease seeping off of her dark form.

"Yes." It was a quiet answer, almost one that went unheard even by him. The word was foreign to him. Cole has heard and watched people in love, but it had never crossed his mind that anyone would feel that way about him. _Him_ , of all people. He still couldn't wrap his head around it.

"It is so many in one, how can you be sure? Emotions, thoughts and desires all bundled, bunched and clustered all into one word. I-It's … I..." He wanted to tell her that he felt the same way, but how could he be sure? He didn't want to get it wrong and accidentally end up hurting her. Lyn was a strong woman, no doubt, but something told him that if  _he_  was to be the one to hurt her … it wouldn't end well.

"You don't have to say it if you're not ready. What matters is there is something there." Lyn mumbled quietly, placing her palm in the middle of his chest as she shuffled closer to him. "You like it when we do this?"

"I am content, comfortable. I wouldn't mind staying like this all night." Cole's hand had made it's way into her messy hair and she pressed her cheek against him in response.

"What about when I hug you?" She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer, warmth radiating from his chest as she did it. Without even a second thought, he embraced her and held her tightly.

"Like when we cuddle, but more. Heart fluttering around and begging for more, to be closer. But we are already close."

"W-When we kiss?" Lyn's question caused his heart to stutter and when she tilted her head so that their faces were mere inches from one another, the nervousness he was feeling seemed to double. She wanted him to kiss her? Not that he disagreed. If anything, it was something he thought about quite often since they'd first done it.

Cole couldn't really see her in the dark, but his eyes searched for hers anyway. He took a breath, shaky as it was, and closed the small gap between them. When their lips met, it was as clumsy and awkward as the first two times. Only this time, he wrapped his arms around her tighter so that their bodies were flush against one another. He couldn't control it, sometimes his body reacted on it's own and didn't seem to want to listen to him. It was like some instinctive need to be closer to her, as his hands clutched the back of her tunic.

He could feel her do the same and his actions became a little more sure, more confident. Lyn's song was wonderful, but nothing compared to how it was when theirs were together. Intertwining before harmonizing in the most beautiful of ways. It almost hurt, knowing she couldn't hear this like he could. She couldn't  _see_  this, the energy that buzzed everywhere and spread from inside of him. Inside of her.

When she pulled away, it took most of his effort not to crush their lips together again. It had left him breathless and longing for more.

"Songs sing a beautiful melody." His voice came out rushed, whispering. "Chest feels warm, no – smoldering like a rock on a hot sunny day. Sizzling and spreading, I-I … I  _like_  it." A lot.

"It is not something easily understood … not even I can completely understand it." She explained and he could feel her nuzzle the underside of his jaw. "But I do know that is what it is, for me. It's something I've never had before."

"I've asked Varric and Dorian, they both say different things. Yet the same. It's confusing." Cole went to the two for a number of things. Varric because he was such a steady part of his life now, always there for him when he needed it. Coaching him on life's intricacies. Dorian had offered help in the ways of 'wooing' a woman and romantic endeavors, which Cole was grateful for. The Tevinter helped the spirit-turned-human understand a number of things. If it hadn't been for him, he probably wouldn't have taken these new things so smoothly. There would have been more stumbling and pain on their part, he was sure.

Cole could have sworn he heard Lyn mutter 'nosey mage' under her breath just then.

"It is." She conceded and he knew that she was confused about this subject like he was. Though she seemed to have more intuition when it came to her feelings than he did. She was, after all, born human. "No one can tell you how you feel, only  _you_  can do that. Say it when you're ready. Say it when you mean it."

"Some say it, empty words spill through confused lips. Unsure, but wanting to make the other happy. It doesn't work that way, though. It only ends up hurting, stinging. Like needles and knives in the heart. I wouldn't do that to you."

"I know."

"But … when I don't say it back, it hurts you." He seemed conflicted and Lyn squeezed him reassuringly.

"It would hurt more if you said it without actually meaning it." She reasoned, "It doesn't hurt much. I'm happy with what we have now."

She wasn't lying. The residual ache was pushed aside in favor of the amount of joy that she felt by simply being near him. Knowing that he felt  _something_. She would wait. Cole did not want to make her wait too long, but he also did not want to say it and end up hurting her by accident. He had to be sure. Positive.

What was it, then, that he felt whenever they were so near? When they hugged or kissed? The rogue could not even imagine ever doing most of the things they did with anyone else. The mere thought of physical contact made the woman uneasy, jittery and irritable. But never with him. It was the same for him vice versa, minus the irritation.

They were friends, yet more. She thought of him as special to her. Important. With her, he knew what it was like to feel loved. But how could he be sure what he felt in return was love, as well? It was a rather complex subject.

He was interrupted from his musings when he felt her hand clutch at his shirt, her breathing evened out as she slept peacefully at his side. Cole could not see her, then. But like other times, he'd watched her sleep when they were together. Her face was probably relaxed and temperate, unlike when she was awake. When Lyn was awake, her face was usually marred with anger and irritation. Even remnants lingered on her face while they were together, at times. Never as soft and … vulnerable as she was when she was asleep.

The woman never slept near anyone, because of her lack of trust in people. So the fact alone that she allowed Cole to sleep next to her every night was a statement in itself. Trust, hope, someone that believed in him. Yes, she believed in him when no one else had. Even as far back as Haven. Memories of back then were so fuzzy, but still there. Kind of. His eyes drooped. It didn't take long for him to slowly join her, drifting off.

The next morning Cole was greeted with the sounds of sparring just outside of his tent. The occasional grunt and growl of frustration could be heard before the obvious sound of bodies falling to the ground could be heard. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he sat up and shook his head to clear his thoughts. Who would be sparring this early in the morning? He only knew it was sparring because he could sense no actual hostility.

It was then that the blonde rogue noticed the missing form of Lyn, who had likely left to get ready for the day. He peeked his head out of the flap on the tent, instantly met with the chilled morning air. After he'd put his armor on and exited the tent, he was met with the sight of two wrestling forms rolling around in the snow. The two were throwing jibes at one another as they did so.

"What's the matter, Princess? Getting tired already?" Krem taunted, pushing the woman into the snow on her back. Lyn growled in response, a snarl on her face. Though they both knew that she wasn't really angry. Krem, because they always did this when they sparred. Cole, because he could feel it.

"Call me a Princess again, you son of a bitch!"

"Hmmm, yes. Mother  _was_  a bitch." The warrior seemed to agree as he pinned her arms above her head, "Princess."

"You cocky little-!" The woman wrapped her legs around his waist and flipped him over, completely reversing their position. It was right then that a loud, deep, bark echoed from beside the two. The friends both froze at the sound. One second Krem was being pinned down by his friend, the next he saw a mass of brown fur and he was staring at the empty sky. Lyn had been tackled off of Krem and onto the ground again. The Mabari pinned her down and stared at her, his nose mere inches from her face.

"Shit, don't you dare." She warned, seeing the dog's nose get a bit closer. Mouth panting and sending a rather unappealing smell into her face. "Fenny!" It got even closer, slobber dripping down from his muzzle. "Ironhide?!"

Apparently it was the wrong answer.

The otherworlder screeched as he licked her face, jaw to forehead, her hands held up on each side making clawing motions. Afterward, he stood up and walked off like it hadn't even happened. The war-hound took a seat a small distance away and watched as she wiped her face off furiously.

Krem was laughing pretty hard and Lyn was on the ground pouting, still trying to wipe the dog slobber from her face. When the warrior went over and knelt next to her, Cole couldn't help but feel that familiar digging, stabbing sensation in his gut. Like a wave of emotion threatening to consume him and the only thing he could think about was standing between the two. Why was that?

It didn't seem to matter and he didn't even realize that he'd walked up to the two, a small frown on his face. His piercing blue eyes fixated on Krem, who had now taken notice of his presence. The two stared at one another for what seemed to be a minute before Lyn even noticed. What he was feeling was … unpleasant.

"Cole?" The otherworlder tilted her head up at him. When he didn't answer right away, she began to frantically wipe off the rest of her face before standing up. "I didn't see you there."

Yes.  _Unpleasant_  was the word to describe that feeling. Krem was human, more capable of understanding his thoughts and emotions when it came to intimate relationships. Cole was not. He knew that and it made him feel … inadequate. He knew the warrior had feelings for Lyn, but had not spoken to her about them.

The woman looked between the young men, perplexed. Krem was still crouched on the ground staring up at the rogue with an uneasy look on his face. Cole could tell that the warrior was pleading with him not to say anything. To keep it a secret, she didn't need to know.

"Oh, come on. I didn't throw you that hard during our spar, did I?" Lyn, for the most part, was quite oblivious to what was even going on between the two. She did, however, notice that Krem seemed uneasy and reluctant to stand up. To which she took as him being too hurt to stand. That is, until she looked at Cole. He had a small frown etched into his pale features, head tilted so that his hat hid his eyes. Oh.  _Oh_. "Cole... are... are you  _glaring?_ "

Lyn's face faltered, comprehension dawning on her face just then. The woman leaned forward to get a look at him. Sure enough, he was. Though it was gone before she knew it as he turned his blue gaze over to her.

"Maybe." He'd been unaware of it until Lyn pointed it out, but it seemed that he was glaring. The rogue put a hand on his stomach, trying to ease the feeling away. It didn't go away. Especially when the warrior stood up from right next to her but refused to leave. Though he was staring at Cole worriedly. Worried, not for the rogue, but because he didn't want to get ratted out.

"There's no  _maybe_  about that. Are you jealous?" She said the last word quietly, almost like she couldn't believe it. Was he? Was it bad to feel this way?

"I don't know." Was his short reply, his voice coming out in an even tone. Cole started to feel a bit scared. What if what he was feeling was jealousy? What if she looked at him differently for it? Lyn seemed to notice his inner turmoil and offered, what seemed to be, a comforting smile. As small as it was.

"You don't have to be. Krem is like a brother to me." She may have thought that, but he noticed the small amount of pain flicker through the warrior's eyes before his expression settled with a small smile. He was hurt, but he was happy? Was it possible – no, it was. Lyn was hurt just the night before, yet happy and content. The things in this world were often unpredictable, especially when it came to people.

Kind of like how he was feeling just then. His hands relaxed when hers were placed on his, small fingers clutching at him. He hadn't realized  _that_ , either. Cole's body sometimes had a mind of it's own, it seemed. The feeling in his stomach and chest started to subside as he focused down on her.

"It's normal. It's okay." Lyn spoke softly and was about to continue before someone blurted something from across camp.

"Kiss, Kiss,  _Kiss_!" Came the gruff voice of Rocky, the Charger's demolition's expert. This caused a few of the others to look up curiously from their tired shuffling. Everyone was slowly starting to wake up for the day to continue their journey. The otherworlder's face pinkened as she sighed at the man's antics.

"I think I'll go pack everything up." She mumbled before releasing her grip and stalking off toward their tent.

"You didn't tell her." Krem finally spoke after staying quiet the whole time. He didn't trust that he wouldn't blurt something embarrassing or make the situation worse somehow. He was grateful that the lanky rogue hadn't said anything, despite his reputation for blurting everyone's secrets out for all to hear.

"Sometimes people don't need to hear it, because it will only cause more pain." Cole answered, nodding his head minutely. "The things I said to Cullen sometimes hurt him, I stopped that. Before … I didn't know. But now I do. I'm learning."

"Right..." Krem sighed, rubbing his arm in an awkward fashion. "Well, thanks for that. She doesn't need to know."

"Yes." Cole readily agreed and the warrior shifted his weight uneasily before turning to leave.

**First Person**

I watched as the three men (Varric, Dorian and Cole) stood next to one another and attempted to have a quiet conversation. 'Attempted' being the key word. Though I heard something about Cassandra and I being secretly 'soft', to which I'd yelled over at them about. I was, as per usual, ignored. Cole, for the most part, seemed a bit out of place next to the two as he shuffled on his feet uneasily. Varric and Dorian were doing most of the speaking. I had no idea about what. I swear, sometimes I wondered if the men here on Thedas gossiped more than the women.

Then again, I was hardly around any women to know if they gossiped at all. Lynn and Sera, for the most part, seemed to steer clear of doing that. Well … maybe not  _Sera_. The loud elf liked to talk about anyone and everyone but I'd always just brushed that off as Sera-ish behavior.

We were getting our horses strapped up and ready to go when I hefted myself atop my brown horse. Skittles shifted and stomped her foot as she looked off into the distance. I ran my fingers through her mane and gave her gentle pats on the neck to soothe her.

"I have been meaning to speak to you." I heard the cool voice of Solas. I twitched and turned to look at him with a blank look on my face. It took a few beats before he realized I was waiting for him to continue, "You very well could have gotten shredded by the enemy for what you did back in the Highlands. Why did you do it, if I may ask?"

No, you may not. Damn it, he was seriously going to blow my cover. I didn't want to know how people would begin to react if they knew that I actually cared about them. I'd had nothing but bad experiences with people when they found out that I cared and only ended up getting used and manipulated in the end. Which was why I kept up the ruse of being an ass to everyone I met. Most people, that is. What I did in private with certain people should stay that way.

So I ended up blurting the assiest thing I could think of,

"You're our only hope at getting back home. Couldn't have you dying on us." I turned my head away and spurred my horse into a trot as I made my way over to the Inquisitor and her hart. I didn't even glance back to see Solas' face. Crap. I never referred to Earth as 'home' anymore. Perhaps he wouldn't notice that minor slip-up.

As far as I was concerned,  _this was home._

* * *

I held my breath, arrow notched and ready to fly. The ram flicked it's tail and lifted it's head. That's when I let it cut through the air with a  _'_ _fwip_ _!'_  and it hit home with a  _'thud!'_ , the ram falling over from my kill shot. It had surprised me, actually, because usually I had to fire two or three arrows to take it down. This time I'd actually hit it where I was supposed to, apparently. The Mabari at my side huffed, pouncing out of the bushes and thundering forward to our dinner. Key word,  _our_.

Apparently Mr Grump, there, thought he could eat the whole thing to himself. I'd taken him along this once to get him acquainted with hunting, since he was still quite young. If he decided to leave, at least he'd know to fend for himself.

Said Mabari had his jaws locked onto the hind leg of the ram as he continuously gnawed on it.

"Oh no you don't, young man!" I yelled, stomping forward through the bushes. I heard the leaves rustle as my boots thudded forward in the dirt and snow. The dog seemingly glared back at me, "Have you no manners? You must be patient! You couldn't finish that whole thing, anyway."

I scolded him and he simply growled in response, giving me a look that said 'watch me'. I put my hands on my hips and leaned forward,

"I'm not bringing you hunting with me again if you don't drop that  _this instant._ " I spoke in my best 'mom' voice.

He let out a growling whine.

"Now!" The war-hound huffed and let go, stomping a small distance away and pacing. Soon enough, he walked in a circle before plopping down on his belly and pouting. The dog watched me clean the catch, like I usually did before I dragged it back to camp.

Once I was finished, I started with the painstakingly hard part of sawing off the hind leg at the top joint. I stood up and offered the part to the Mabari, seeing him stare at me with that blank look of his. "See? Not too hard, right?"

The dog sat up and continued to stare at me for a moment before slowly grabbing the offered part and turning his head away. He let out a growl that sounded oddly like a grumble before standing up and ambling back toward the camp. I followed not far behind, dragging dinner behind me in the process. A small puddle that I'd walked by on the way back provided me with enough water to clean the mess from my hands and arms so that I didn't look like a serial killer when I got back. Cleaning animals was never a neat task, might I add. Eh.

We sat around the fire and watched as Bull put some of the meat on a stick and began to cook it slowly over the fire. It was usually either he or Lynn that did the cooking, generally speaking. I knew that if I ever cooked, it would likely end up charred and crispy. At least it'd be well done, right?

I idly listened to them speak amongst one another and I could not help but notice Blackwall and Dorian conversing rather loudly. It wasn't just me that took notice of it, either.

"Corypheus. One of yours, isn't he?" The bearded warrior asked, looking over at the Tevinter who was seated next to him.

"One of mine? Like a pet? Like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of goodhood?" Dorian questioned. He then spoke in a ridiculous voice, " _'Dorian, why can't you look after your little friends? Corypheus peed on the carpet again!'_  In this analogy, the carpet is Haven."

I couldn't help the short burst of air that came through my nose in the most ungodly and unladylike sounding snort. Wow, that was attractive.

"What was _that?_ " Sera asked, snorting and giggling as well. Though, hers was because of the noise I'd just made. Dorian and Blackwall's conversation faded into the background as I looked over at my blonde elf friend.

At least she was no longer angry at me. It had taken her a couple of days before she would talk to me again, but now it was like nothing ever happened. I'm not sure if I did it right. The apology, that is, but I didn't intend to do something like that again.

"Oh, come on. His analogy was pretty hilarious, wasn't it?"

"Wha' Coryphyshite? I meant that noise ya just made."

"Corypheus brings out the worst in all of us." I nodded knowingly, my hand resting underneath my chin. That works! I should just blame Corypheus for everything. If there were Gods to be cursed, I could always just curse a wannabe God, instead. But that would be  _weird_  if I replaced 'God' with 'Corypheus' instead. I mean, don't people shout 'Oh God, yes!' during sex? That would create some rather … interesting misunderstandings.

Something I'd rather not explain, thank you.

* * *

It was about three or so days later until we finally got far enough away from the snowy climate that it was actually starting to feel warm. It was beautiful, actually. Everything appeared to be greener, the trees changing from pines to leafy greens. Grass sprouted up and swayed in the wind. Not that I hated winter weather, it was just a nice change. As opposed to freezing my poor little fingers off, since I didn't have gloves.

This also meant that if we camped near a stream I could finally go fishing instead of trying to hunt. I found it quite amusing that Dalish and I were usually the only ones to go out and either hunt or fish for dinner. We'd switch on and off, she'd go one night and I'd go another. Though sometimes we'd come back with nothing and have to resort to nibbling on our rations in our packs. Usually it was either rabbits or august rams of some sort, however. The rest of the group idly foraged on our way down the paths whenever we weren't on our horses, to save what rations we did have.

It seemed a few of the party members were getting quite restless (namely Iron Bull), since the only 'action' we'd gotten was the occasional bandit and wildlife.  _I_ wasn't complaining, since the incident with the Red Templars had shaken me pretty well. Ending up as a smear in the snow wasn't really on my list of things 'to do' thanks.

Speaking of 'to do' lists … I'd made one awhile back. There was some things that I want to get done before I die, since I was now on Thedas. New world new things to explore, yeah? But I'd ended up burning that list because some cheeky bastard decided to add a few things to it. Among those  _few things_  happened to be Cole's name. I'm just glad no one dug around in my things that often and I had yet to figure out who the hell did it. I had a sneaking suspicion it may have been Sera. That bitch, she was probably just trying to embarrass me on the off chance that someone might have found that list.

Now, if Varric had come across that list – how would I have even explained myself? I don't think anyone would take too kindly to their son, adopted or not, being on someone's 'to do' list. Being on the ass end of Bianca was _definitely not_  something I wanted to happen within any of my lifetimes. Thankfully said spirit was busy talking to Varric just ahead of me and had yet to look back during my inner ranting.

The dirt underneath Skittles' hooves crunched and got knocked around as we slowly ambled down a trail. The sky was overcast and the clouds looked pretty angry out in the distance and I only hoped we found some suitable shelter before the storm hit.

There was a small town peeking off just over the hill, causing me to sigh in relief from atop my horse. I knew that Lynn was probably going to rent some rooms at a local tavern to take a load off before heading out tomorrow. A nice woman, she was. Sleeping in a real bed actually sounded really nice. Though I'd grown used to sleeping in odd places since my arrival, a bed was still appreciated.

Which was another thing. Small things in our world like washing clothing in washing machines, cars, buying food from grocery stores and even small things like flushing toilets were often overlooked. Especially since they were so common back on Earth that no one really thought much of it. But, living here for as long as I have, there was that huge gap there that sometimes caused me to feel almost homesick. Not for people at home or even the fact that I wanted to go back, because I didn't. But it was because I mourned how convenient things were back there, as opposed to here.

I groaned as I hefted myself off of my horse, feeling my muscles ache from the long ride. We were handing our horses off to a local stablehand that would watch them until we left. Inquisitor Lavellan had told everyone that we were to stay there for the night, since the storm that was coming in looked like it would be pretty harsh. Not only that, but I could tell that she was pretty exhausted. We all were.

My first goal, as everyone discussed who was bunking with who, was getting a room of my own. I may have been wasting my own silvers, but I'd much rather pay extra than end up sharing a room with someone (Aside from Cole, of course). Something about falling asleep around people just made me feel really uneasy, so there's that. There was a single window, which was shut, that overlooked the field where our horses were being kept. The fence spanned a large distance and a few of them were grazing happily as the clouds in the distance slowly got darker and darker. An unlit candle sat on the nightstand near the shoddy looking bed. The room was worn down, but clearly better than sleeping in a bedroll.

I sighed as I dropped my heavy pack on the worn out wood floors on the second floor. The bag hit the ground with a loud  _'Thud!'._  I stretched, hearing my joints crack and I flopped onto the bed face first. Before I could get comfortable, however, I heard a soft knock at my door.  _Huh_.

Somehow or another, I landed myself alone at a table with Cole in the tavern. He was sitting across from me looking completely out of his element. I think I heard something about a date? What people did on dates was largely unknown to me, since the only experience I had was with a boy in high school. Not much for romance, either. I didn't even have knowledge from sappy books to fall back on!

He'd even walked over and pulled out my chair for me before we sat down, Dorian's advice no doubt (probably some crap about being a gentleman).

So I sat there awkwardly and stared at him. To be fair, he looked just as confused and out of place as I was. There was confusion on both ends before this. I'm not even completely sure he knew what he was asking at the time – or maybe he did but didn't know  _how_  to even go about it. That seemed more plausible, since Cole was not as oblivious as most made him out to be. Naive and innocent at times, sure. But he also held an amount of wisdom I've never seen in anyone else, seeing things in a much broader and unique perspective. He was bizarre – strange in the most wonderful of ways. But that was my opinion.

That was when I realized that Cole was likely much older than he appeared to be. He appeared to be in his early twenties, just like me, but he was not of this world. He wasn't born here and had lived a majority of his existence in the Fade, had he not? For all I knew he could be hundreds of years my senior (Possibly more). I closed my eyes and scrunched my eyebrows. That didn't matter, though. Didn't he say he couldn't remember much of his time there, anyhow? This was all starting to give me a headache.

I was interrupted from my musing when I heard wood cracking. It started as a small sound, unnoticeable even. Then it got louder, progressively. I squinted and watched as Cole suddenly disappeared behind the table with a yell and a rather heavy sounding  _'thud!'._

Oh.

"Uhhhhh..." Was my eloquent reply, hearing someone snicker from across the tavern. Some of the others giggled as well, but it was  _Sera_  that laughed first and I flicked my brown gaze at her suspiciously. Before I could even move to stand up, a pale hand emerged and clasped onto the table shakily.

"I-I'm fine." Cole's voice wobbled as he stood back up and peered down at the, now broken, chair on the floor. I couldn't help the shot of amusement that flared in my chest at his disheveled state, white-blonde hair standing on end and hat missing. It was quickly stamped down when I saw how apprehensive he actually looked and I instantly felt bad for it.

"I'm so sorry, sir!" One of the barmaids fretted, having been not too far away when the commotion occurred. "I-I don't know what happened!"

"Damaged, cracked and worn away. The chair was weakened on purpose." He mumbled quietly as the woman began to pick up the remnants of his wood chair. Yep. Definitely Sera. He turned to reassure the nervous woman, "It wasn't your fault."

"I-I'll be right back." The woman scurried away and Cole simply grabbed another chair, but not before staring at it critically.

Once Cole was seated again, I couldn't help but notice that his face seemed to be scrunched a little in concentration. The kind of look someone made when they were trying their hardest not to do something. My eyes closed halfway as the barmaid from earlier came over to take our orders. This … should be interesting. When the woman asked them what they wanted, Cole seemed nervous again. Almost like he didn't know how to answer.

"I don't – I … Cookies?" He squeaked out the last word, voice on the verge of cracking. He sounded incredibly awkward and out of his element and didn't seem to want to say 'I don't eat' like he usually did. Did someone say not to? My eyes narrowed at the thought, who has been stuffing nonsense in his head? The barmaid looked confused but accepted his answer and looked over to me.

"Whatever soup or stew the cook has prepared for the day." I shrugged, not really caring what I got, and looked over at Cole. He was fine and he was doing alright, there really was no need for him to be so darn nervous. I tried to get his attention, but he didn't even seem to hear me at all. I rose a brow, not quite used to him not hearing me. It was almost instinctive, now.

The fact that he'd ordered cookies didn't really surprise me at all, really. It was, after all, one of the only things he willingly ate. Even after his change, he still didn't need to eat. But did only when it came to the very  _few_  things he liked.  _Cookies_ , for example.

"You seem nervous." I pointed out the obvious from my spot on my stool, voicing my concerns rather than trying to get his attention like I usually did. "You don't have to be. We're just eating, like that time we had lunch together?"

"Nervous? Yes, nervous. I-I..." Cole paused and almost seemed to pout. It was kind of cute, actually. No time for that, I had to calm him down somehow. But how? I knew for a fact that the meddling mage and dwarf probably put him up to this. No doubt, talking about how  _important_  it was. The thought had me glaring at the table.

The woman appeared with our orders before I could speak up and try to calm him down. She set some large tankards of water in front of our meals. Before I could dig in, however, I watched as Cole reached for his water and fumbled it by accident. The thing tipped over and sent a rather nice sized puddle of water trickling in my direction. To simplify, I'd gotten water all over my lap. It was cold and seeped into my pants, making me squirm slightly. The only thing I was capable of doing was staring down at it with a dulled expression. "Oh...well."

I could have sworn I heard him mutter 'that wasn't supposed to happen' under his breath as he scurried up and handed me some handkerchiefs. You know, for being so good with his hands in battle … he really did drop things a lot.

"It's fine, Cole." I tried to reassure, wiping myself off calmly as he stared down at me worriedly. "It's just water."

I was in the middle of wiping off the water on the table when he clasped my hand and I could feel how warm he was. Was he really that nervous? I suddenly felt irritation course through me at the two people that had likely put him up to this. He didn't have to, but probably thinks that he has to because it was what humans did when they courted.

It made sense now.

" _'Use words, Kid. Ya can't always look into people for your answers. Especially now.'_ " He muttered quickly, seemingly unaware that he was currently blurting his thoughts aloud. Cole opened his mouth to speak again, but I held up my free hand to silence him.

I dug in my pockets and threw some silvers on the table, standing up and dragging him out of the building. The rogue stumbled behind me as I stomped off, the door shutting with a little more force than intended. They'd pushed him out of his comfort zone and I was  _pissed_.

We slowly made their way around the building, the sky darkening from an oncoming storm. I came to a stop between the tavern and a shop, mostly hidden from people as I released my grip on Cole and whipped around.

"Cole-" I tried as we locked gazes. Cole did not look calm at all.

"I did it wrong. I'm sorry!" He spouted, hands fiddling around with his hand wraps. His eyes quickly averted mine and stared down at the ground instead. "Dates. Dates make women happy. Ask her about her interests. Talk. Listen. S-So many things to do at once, it's so confusing I-!"

"Cole."

"Can't do it. Too much." The way he'd sounded so distressed just then caused something inside of me to twist and ache. He was having such a difficult time because of me, essentially. I felt horrible for it.

"Cole!" I silenced him by putting my hand on his cheek, his blue gaze focusing on me. His mouth was open like he wanted to continue but I wouldn't let him, "I-If this is … getting to be too much for you, we can stop."

"No!" His eyes widened into saucers at my implication. As if the thought itself was offensive even to think about. "I didn't mean it like that. Not that.  _Anything but that._ Please."

"Okay." My voice was quiet, relieved. "That stuff Varric and Dorian have been feeding you. Err …  _telling_  you. You don't have to do those things for me."

It really bothered me how they filled his head with such nonsense. It was nice, sure, but only if he wanted to do it himself. Not because he felt obligated to. This kind of crap was common back in my world, too. The men always had to do this and do that in order to _'impress'_ the woman somehow. I never thought I'd have to go through the weird little dating rituals that seemed to stretch all the way into this world, as well.

"But they said-" He tried to protest, but I spoke before he could continue.

"I don't care what they said!" I said in a firm tone, "You're doing  _fine_. Have you had to do anything other than be yourself to get me to see you? I'm happiest when you're being you. That's all. Nothing to it."

"I don't like it when I can't hear you." Cole conceded, shoulders slumping minutely. It was a relief that he didn't look as worked up as he had just seconds ago. At least my words were getting through to him. I sighed and grabbed his hand,

"They told you not to, huh?"

"Yes." Was his soft reply. His expressions earlier made sense to me just then, how he seemed to concentrate on not listening to me like he usually did. They may have thought that he would be better off trying to act 'normal', but that wasn't the case. Not in this, anyway. Cole was doing what most guys thought they needed to do in order to 'get the girl'. Change themselves to impress them. I wasn't having any of that, because that was bullshit.

"I  _like_  it when you can hear me, so ignore what they say and just do what you think is right. " It was true, I'd gotten quite used to him hearing me and being aware of things all the time. Him  _not_  knowing would be kind of weird, at this point. "What feels right, to  _you_?"

"This." Cole held up my hand, which was clasped around his. He carefully threaded our fingers together and I felt a warm smile make it's way onto my face. A faint blush formed on his cheeks as he stared down at me from underneath his shaggy hair. Some thunder rolled in the distance, causing me to break eye contact with him and peer up at the sky. The clouds were an angry grey and I could have sworn I saw lightning in the distance.

"Let's go inside, it sounds like it will rain soon." I bumped the brim of his hat playfully, seeing him nod before we turned and walked toward the tavern hand in hand.

* * *

"You have an affinity for animals, it seems. Not just horses." Blackwall spoke from one side of the table, most had already headed up to their respective rooms for sleep. The only ones at the table being Blackwall, Varric and Cole. A few candles were lit on the table along with some lanterns on the wall to provide us with some illumination as we sat around and chatted.

"Since I was a child." I agreed, remembering the times when I would get along just fine with 'rabid' dogs or when I fell into a cow pen one time and didn't get attacked – but my uncle did. I turned my head and looked behind me, seeing the massive Mabari laying down with his head in his paws as he stared up at me.

"You're a rogue." Blackwall tried to clarify, causing me to look back at him and tilt my head.

"You're a warrior." I rose a brow and he sighed exasperatedly as he shook his head.

"You'd make a fine ranger, if you put your mind to it." He elaborated and I snorted in response, letting out a small chuckle. A  _ranger_ , that's a laugh.

"I'm hardly a good enough rogue to begin with. Half-assed, really. And you expect me to be able to become a ranger to top it all off?" I doubted I could even begin to learn the intricacies that came with being a ranger. It seemed nothing ever went right for me in this world, anyhow. Since my arrival here, learning things was always … difficult, unlike back on Earth when I always got good grades in college and high school. This was not that.

"Self-doubt creating chains around your potential. You think you can't do it, but I think you can." Cole tried to encourage me, making me turn my brown gaze at the worn out table in front of us. I picked at the wood nervously,

"But … bears." I mumbled, not even wanting to think about the idea of trying to ask one for help. That's what a ranger did, right? No way in hell. Nope. Nuh uh.

"I once knew a ranger that was deathly afraid of spiders." Varric peeked up from writing in his journal, "It made battle funny when he'd summon one to aid us. The look on his face …  _everytime_." He sounded incredibly amused as he barked out the last word with a laugh.

"I'd sooner summon spiders than bears, to be honest."

"Not afraid of them?"

"I sleep in the loft of a barn, we kind of share the space." I replied, seeing him shiver at the thought. Varric didn't seem to like the idea of spiders. I didn't really take him as the type to feel scared of the poor little furry insects. They helped with a plethora of things and even though they had many legs, I didn't really mind their presence. As long as they were not crawling on my face, that is. Annoying bastards.

I heard a soft whine from my right, causing me to divert my attention down to the huge furry beast sitting on the wood floor. The Mabari tilted his head and his tongue lolled out as he panted.

"Ah, right. I have yet to give you a name. Though … you do know you could leave at any time, right?" I spoke as I turned my body so that I was facing him. He scooted forward and put his nose on my knee, brown eyes never leaving mine. He looked so insanely adorable just then I had to physically suppress the squeal that almost made it's way out of my mouth, my hand flying to my lips.

Unexpected girlish tendencies. Please go away.

"He doesn't want to leave. He wants to protect you. You helped him, fed him and cared for him when no one else did." Cole's soft voice floated through the air at my right and I looked over to see him sitting right next to me as well, close enough so our elbows were almost touching. He and the Mabari were staring at each other, the dog's ears would flick occasionally and I could have sworn I saw the rogue nod at the dog.

"C-Can you understand him?" I sounded almost incredulous and the thought hadn't even crossed my mind until just then. Of course, because of his spirity gifts, he could possibly sense the emotions and thoughts of animals as well. Humans, after all, weren't the only ones with such things.

"A little."

"That's – Wow, Cole." Was all I could say as I stared over at him in awe. I'd always loved the idea of possibly being able to communicate with animals and here he was able to listen and understand them in no way we humans ever could. "Sometimes I envy your ability."

"You don't have to be like me to make friends with them. You are able to do it, anyway." Cole pointed out and began to rub the Mabari's fur behind his ears. The dog, for the most part, seemed absolutely content with the fact that we were both turned around giving him attention. Blackwall and Varric were conversing behind us quietly. I felt a wet nose being placed on the top of my hand that was resting on my knee, making me avert my gaze from Cole down to my furry companion.

"I know, boy. You deserve a real name." I smiled, feeling happy that he decided to stay. He wanted to protect me and it made me feel oddly … warm. "How about Riley?"

The Mabari tilted his head and let out a low and short 'woof'.

"He likes it."

"Riley it is."


	29. Motherfucking Sand

The morning that they were to take off and continue their journey, Varric awoke with the distinct feeling that he'd fucked up somehow. It wasn't just because of the fact that he'd pushed the Kid out of his comfort zone the night before and had been receiving sideways glares from Screech. No. It was because he was completely covered in flour as he woke up to the slam of the door. His door, to be exact. The dwarf didn't get a good look at just who had walked out, but he'd take a guess that it was probably the otherworlder.

He sighed, staring at the ceiling with a blank look on his face. Perhaps next time he should try harder to keep Sparkler from pushing him into things he wasn't ready for. The two had obviously been doing fine without all of the 'normal' things couples did. Dates, for example. Varric had only been curious and hadn't interfered, aside from the occasional doubting comment.

The dwarf sat up slowly and began to pat off his nightclothes, standing up to clean off. Hero and Chuckles were in the other two beds in the room, staring over at him with tired glances. It wasn't long until he heard someone cursing in Tevene as they stomped down the hallway. Curious, yet again, Varric peeked out of the room and saw the Tevinter mage chasing after a rather pleased looking Screech.

The woman had a bundle of decorative looking robes in her arms as she trotted by his room.

"Give me my robes back!" The mage spouted defiantly, boots thudding on the ground as he followed suit. That was … all he was wearing. Sparkler was in his undergarments and some boots and had obviously been in the middle of changing.

"I gave you a set of clothes to wear, Dorian." Screech informed innocently, her voice disappearing down the hall as she turned the corner that lead to the staircase.

"I refuse to wear that horrendous excuse for clothing. I'd look like a farmer!"

"That's the idea." She called in response, voice now coming from the first floor of the tavern. There were other voices traveling up, as well, indicating that there were people up and about already. Sparkler stood near the bend in the hallway with a rather irritated look on his face as he smoothed out his hair.

"Don't worry, Sparkler. I'll go have a talk with her and get your robes back." Varric sighed, walking up to the irritated mage and giving him a reassuring look. The Tevinter grumbled something about 'should be grateful', but the dwarf ignored it.

**First Person**

It took us awhile, but we were fast approaching our destination. We'd had to pass this town called Val Firmin. Now I mention this because I noticed how Cole seemed to almost twitch at every movement when we were in the area. I, however, was the same way only because there seemed to be an abundance of Red Templars in the area. Inquisition forces had been put up around the area to keep it safe and ward off our enemies. So I simply brushed his behavior off as being for the same reason.

I really hated Red Templars.

Now, I say that because I was currently walking with a limp beside my horse. I'd gotten shield bashed by one of the fuckers and sent into a nearby rock formation. Thankfully, Riley had latched onto him before he advanced enough to kill me. To which I was able to recover and finish him off with the help of my trusty companion. He was a good boy, yes.

We were starting to adjust our sleeping schedules for some reason or another, once the weather started to feel dry and the terrain more barren. Trees started to dwindle and soon enough there wasn't even any grass on the ground. We were starting to get up later on in the days and travel longer into the nights. It may have been in preparation for the hotter days. Which made sense to me, anyway. Traveling during the day with the sun beating down on your back was probably pretty dumb. Traveling in the middle of a frigging desert was also pretty stupid, in my opinion. But here I was.

Currently, we were camped in a desert-y area and I was rummaging around in a pack inside of a tent. Everyone was busy and talking amiably a ways away around a small fire that had just been built. I could idly hear Bull _bull_ shitting (hah) with Krem, since they were usually the loudest. I was in the middle of putting a pouch inside of the pack when I heard the tent flap open at my right. My hands flew out of the bag and I held them up defensively, staring at the person. I felt my face turn red,

"I-I uhhh..."

"You..." Stitches squinted at me and slowly lifted his wrinkled hand to point at me. The light from the fire behind his head cast an almost ominous shadow on his tanned face as he stared over at me.

"It's not what it looks like!" I defended, shaking my head furiously.

" _You're_  the one that's been putting Elfroot in my pack?"  _Yes_. He sounded like he almost couldn't believe it. The old man's lips began to twitch and I felt nervousness flood my body, the urge to flee rising. I scoffed and stumbled passed him,

" _That_  was Cole, not me." I snapped out, turning back around with a hand on my hip. "I was … looking for something."

"Looking? What in Andraste's name were you looking for in my pack?" The tanned healer looked irritated, then. My bluff obviously having worked. What did women use in this world? Think!

"Rags." The first thing to pop out of my mouth. I'd remembered Angel complaining constantly about the fact that the women in this world didn't use pads and only rewashable rags. It was definitely less embarrassing than the alternative. The old man's face darkened,

"Y-You could have asked Dalish, ya know?" He fumbled around in his bag and presented me with some clean looking rags, which I took hesitantly. It was kind of amusing, I suppose. Since I … didn't need them. Never would. Yeah.

 _'When in doubt, mention periods.'_ I now knew why Angel said that a lot. Men were always so touchy with the subject of the female reproductive organs when it came to menstruating. I filed that little bit of information away for future use.

"I … Uhhh … I didn't think of that." I answered honestly, slowly backing away from his little tent. I scurried off toward my own, diving onto my bedroll and huffing in irritation. That had been a little too close. I'd occasionally help around camp when no one was looking. Usually for the healers and mages that kept us in good health, however. If I went around doing stuff individually for people, I'd go crazy. I don't see how Cole does it.

I suppose I'm going to have to learn to be stealthier. Doing this also helps me learn to sneak and do things discreetly. Though I think Varric and Bull were catching on. No one can escape their keen eyes. Especially Bull's. Let's just hope they don't rat me out and tell everyone that I've been sneaking extra supplies into his bag. As far as anyone was concerned, Cole was just extra busy.

* * *

There's one thing I hate most about deserts. No, it wasn't the blistering heat or the fact that it felt like every time I took a breath it felt like I couldn't breath. Heat (not something us Minnesotans are used to) sucks. It was the fucking sand. Sand. So. Much. Sand. I groaned from my place in the hot gritty stuff, pushing myself into a standing position for the fifth time that day. We'd entered the Hissing Wastes, yes. Lynn was up ahead talking to a dwarf lady at the first Inquisition camp we'd encountered in the area.

Granted, the sun was starting to set in the distance and it was evening. So therefore it wasn't as hot as it could have been at, say, noon. The dry wind that blew by was welcomed as a majority of us stood off to the side to await the orders from the Inquisitor.

As it seemed, there was a lot of Venatori activity in this area alone. We'd come because we needed to find out what it was they were looking for before they did. It could have been useful to the Inquisition, for one. And to prevent such a thing from being used against us.

The sky seemed much larger here, with the barren terrain and lack of vegetation. Despite that, I couldn't help but stare up at the starry sky. The moon was also so much bigger on this planet. I think I may have mentioned that before, but it still baffled me. The sheer size of it made it so that we were able to navigate just fine at night, casting blue hues over the hilly landscapes.

It didn't surprise me when the first thing we encountered out in the desert when we left camp the next evening was some Venatori. Though, it was more like they found us because a bunch of men jumped over the rock formation and attacked us. A mage and an archer stayed behind to fire at the rest of us from the top.

It may have been my imagination, but I swore I saw the warrior in the front look and point at me. His mouth was moving as if he were giving orders but he was so far away I couldn't make out what it was he was even saying. I looked behind me, seeing nothing aside from Riley and Varric. Well, shit.

Most of the party was ahead and busy taking care of the poor Venatori. Now, I say 'poor Venatori' because the dumb bastards decided it was a good idea to ambush us when we were all together as one group. Their little party against our small army? Not the best idea. I stayed in the back, as usual, and fired my bow as best I could and Riley was hopping around and taking enemies down whenever he could. Both the Mabari and Cole seemed to keep the enemies at a distance, as a few of them had charged in my direction. This further solidified my theory that they'd been pointing at me and not Varric. What would they want with Varric? Or me for that matter?

Everyone was moving in a flurry of activity, shouts and commands being thrown into the air. Metal glinting in the evening sun off of razor-sharp blades and worn plate armor.

It was a little too late when I realized just why they were attacking despite their small numbers, because before I knew it I was jerked back against a hard body with an arm around my throat. No, that wasn't the only thing against my throat … the guy had the dagger pointed at my jugular. The tip was pressed against my soft skin, causing me to freeze my movements.

I started to hyperventilate and I heard a low growl come from Riley not far away, his hackles rose as he got into a leaping position. I couldn't see Cole, however. It was like he'd vanished into thin air.

"No." I squeaked out, hearing the man behind me chuckle.

"For such a talented mage, you're pretty reckless." The man's voice was gruff and had an accent similar to Lynn's. His breath ghosted across my ear, causing me to shiver. Oh man did he have stinky ass breath. When was the last time he brushed? Mother of – "Using a bow to disguise your talents. Smart, I've got to-"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence before I heard gurgling and felt a small stinging sensation as his dagger was dropped in front of me. I saw a small red spray and could feel hot trails of a thick liquid start to trail down my right shoulder and underneath my vambraces. I couldn't move. I heard his body fall with a soft _'thump!'_  in the sand at my feet.

The sounds of battle slowly faded away as I withdrew into my mind and my focus was immediately on the blood from the Venatori man. He'd died. I was safe. But I couldn't think about that. Only how it felt on my body, my shoulder and neck. I could smell it, too, and was instantly reminded of the time I got it in my mouth and I could have sworn I could even taste it just then. A thick coppery scent invaded my nostrils and almost sent me into a panic. Or maybe I already was, I didn't know.

I suddenly felt the need to wash myself. Get it off.  _Get it off!_  I held my hand up shakily and started to wipe at myself furiously. I didn't even realize that I was making noise.

"Breathe. You need to breathe, Lyn." I felt someone start to shake me gently as my hearing slowly came back. I was standing a ways away and everything was calm. The sound of the wind blowing by and idle chatter from the party members slowly pulled me out of my daze. I took deep ragged breaths and my vision focused on the figure in front of me.

Back when I used to play video games and watch action movies/anime, seeing blood on the characters was always kind of cool. It made them look kind of badass but this … this was different.  _Seeing_  the blood didn't bother me. Even my own didn't seem to cause any issues. But having someone elses blood all over me? Feeling it and smelling it? That was truly disgusting. I don't think I'll ever get used to that.

Cole stood there, looking down at me worriedly as he wiped off the substance on my arm. He was obviously the one that'd saved my ass and brought me away from the battlefield, no doubt.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, looking down at his bloodied scarf in his thin fingers. His hand clutched it as he put it in his pocket to hide it from view.

What confused me was the fact that the enemy didn't just kill me when Cole appeared beside him. He could have, very easily. Why didn't he? I was obviously not someone he needed to eliminate, at the very least. My confusion must have showed up on my face, because Iron Bull spoke up as he ambled over toward me.

"I know, I'm wondering the same thing." Bull spoke up as he looked down at my stained arm. Not at me, but his eye would flick back to the (probably dead) Venatori on the ground behind me.

"Their death was swift, bodies fall in quick succession. A monster with the face of a young woman. A demon? Mage? Approach with caution." Cole's face was impassive, as always, but his words hit me like a truck. I instantly knew what it was he was talking about and my blood ran cold. "Alive. They need her alive. Battered, marred and injured – but not dead."

So I was a monster, huh?

"But that's not you, Lyn. You know that." He spoke softly, walking up to me and putting his hand on my shoulder. "You did it because you  _had_  to."

I hadn't even realized I was shaking until just then, my brown eyes wide in terror. My gun had come back to haunt me even after I'd gotten rid of it. It was now a simple block of material which sat in my pack. Back when the Venatori had kidnapped me and I'd taken out their whole camp with my gun, I could have sworn I killed them all.

Apparently not.

"Shiiiit." Iron Bull's voice sounded less than pleased as he ran his huge hand over his face.

"It seems I have made quite a few enemies since my arrival..." I muttered, referring to the Ben-Hassrath and Venatori. "What are the chances Corypheus knows? No... knowing my luck, he probably knows."

"He might simply think you an accomplished mage, from the sounds of it." Dorian spoke up as he walked into my field of vision, "Considering how swiftly you dispatched the enemies all that time ago with your little gadget, magic does not seem to be a far fetched concept."

"Can't rule out the possibility of his knowing, though." Bull grunted, crossing his huge arms.

"The shit this group gets into is going to be  _impossible_  to write in one book." Varric sighed from behind me somewhere and I couldn't suppress the eyebrow twitch that I got from that. Of course he'd think of his writing at a time like this.

"Make it a series, then!" I snapped as I turned my glare at him. The dwarf grinned and gave me a thumbs up,

"Sounds like a plan." He sounded so happy that my glare melted away and I huffed. There really was no way I could even feasibly stay angry at Varric. Especially since he was probably just trying to lighten the situation up and make everyone feel better. He was good at that, after all.

"Well, since this place is practically crawling with Venatori encampments we can keep an eye out for any information regarding Lyn as well. Bull, your group can head to this camp." Lynn pointed at something on the map, "And we will head to this one." The wavy haired elf then pointed at the last Inquisition camp we'd been at, "We'll split up tonight and meet at that Inquisition camp in three to four days time. We'll exchange our intelligence and move on from there."

"Sounds like a plan, Boss." Bull grunted, "If there's anything we're good at, it's killing shit."

I slowly inched away from the dead Venatori rogue body, still not wanting to look at the bloody mess. I'd already seen Cole's hands, which were covered in the red substance. That was alright, because it was the  _bodies_  that bothered me. Not the blood. It was a rogue (Leliana) that almost mauled me when I first arrived on Thedas. It was a rogue that discovered me when I was kidnapped by Venatori. It was a rogue that almost took me away from Skyhold when the Ben-Hassrath infiltrated. It was a Red Templar rogue that almost killed me in Emprise du Lion. Now it was a rogue that almost kidnapped me,  _yet again._

It was then that I realized something.

"Oh my fuck – Ugh!" I stomped rather childishly, "I hate rogues!"

I watched as half the party whirled around and looked at me with varying expressions ranging from mock hurt and amusement. Oh. Shit. Almost half of my friends were rogues. My boyfriend was a rogue. And …  _technically_  so was I.

"That's a lot of self-loathing for one person. You sure that's healthy?" Krem murmured just loud enough for me to hear and I snapped my gaze at him. Perhaps I should watch what I say when I have such emotional outbursts.

"Shit." Was all I could mutter, gaining a smirk from the warrior. I felt the hand still resting on my shoulder give me a gentle squeeze and I looked over at Cole and gave him a small smile, silently relaying that I'd be alright. I always was, after all. Eventually. This kind of shook me up, no doubt. But eventually I'd find a way to deal with it. First, we needed to find out just how much these Venatori knew and what they were thinking they'd gain by capturing me alive.

That first day was filled with exploring the half of the area that we were designated. It was the side closest to our meeting area. We'd stumbled across numerous Venatori and Red Templar patrols. We even ended up being lead to a number of different little, dusty, creepy caves. Caves which had puzzles of some sort inside of them. Now, usually I was all for puzzles because they were fun. Especially when they were in games, because it added a little extra entertainment.

But there was nothing entertaining about this. Dorian would light this green flame he called veilfire and we'd essentially play a guessing game. Only if you guessed  _wrong_  you got your face torn off. Or worse.

Demons.

The first time it happened, a bunch of shrieking demons appeared. Which, of course, prompted me to screech. I could have  _sworn_  I heard Bull scream, too. But I'll just pretend I didn't hear it for the sake of his manliness.

Everything in this world wanted us dead. The first cave we exited, I was surprisingly unharmed. The next one, however, I was not so lucky. I trudged out of the cave, boots crunching on the dirt as I made my way out under the night sky. The stars twinkled down at me happily as I groaned and held my arm. I'd gotten thrown back and against the wall, which meant my arm felt like crap. Could have been worse, I guess.

Thankfully Stitches seemed to have something for everything. I knew it was a good idea to keep his pouch stuffed with Elfroot.

"Demons are so … scary." I commented as I rubbed my sore shoulder.

"Urrmph." Bull grunted in agreement before turning to me with a mischievous gleam in his one eye. "Don't think I've ever heard you scream quite like that. Does  _Cole_  make you scream, too?"

" _Cole_  isn't a demon!" I snapped back, feeling my face burn at his comment. The Iron Bull was like everyone's vulgar and loudmouthed uncle. That's how I saw him, anyway. Not that I disliked him for it, because I had a crazy uncle back on Earth. Though, the implications of that last sentence …

"Oh, hey now. No need to get all red about it." The Qunari waved his huge hands around with a suspiciously innocent look on his face, "I was just wondering because he seems to pop up out of nowhere all of the time."

I glowered. Like hell. Trying to act innocent won't work on me, ya dolt!

"Scream? She does not scream, The Iron Bull." Cole's voice drifted casually from behind me and I squeaked at how close he sounded, "Sometimes she squeaks, too."

Oh, Cole. My poor, precious, literal minded Cole. I sighed and allowed my eyes to slide shut, contemplating if I should even try to explain to him why Bull had asked if I screamed. I had to fight the image that was trying to form in my mind at the time. As you could imagine, since I'm an artist, I'm a very visual person. So I felt my face turning even redder as I cursed underneath my breath. It didn't work very well, not even my mental stick could beat it out of my head.

I blame Bull, frigging pervert. Leave it to him to bring out any lecherous thoughts that seemed to linger in the dark dusty depths of my brain. I only hoped ...

"Bodies tangled in the sheets, uniting – hasty and eager." There he goes, "Face flushed with desire, blonde hair disheveled as I scream his – _Oh._ " Cole paused his little speech and my hand came up to cover the front of my face as I shook my head. Narration, he wasn't so bad at it either.

Okay, so it was more than  _just an image._  Sue me for being human.

"S-Shit, Screech. You've got quite the imagination, don't ya?" Iron Bull spoke between his laughter, gaining the attention of a few of the others. They were far enough away that I doubt they'd heard why he started to laugh.

Yeah. Life was not kind to me, right at this moment.

I slowly turned and saw that Cole had froze mid-sentence with his mouth open, blue eyes slowly widening in comprehension underneath his shaggy hair. Yeah, buddy.  _That's_  what he meant.

"You know..." I muttered awkwardly, "There's this sand over here that looks really interesting...?" I waved my hands dismissively, ignoring the fact that I could  _hear_  the blood rushing to my face as my eyes watered in mortification. Bull was still laughing from his spot in front of me. I slowly inched away from the two, silently thankful that the others seemed occupied at the time, so the only one that had heard his little spiel was Bull.

By the end of the day, which meant the sun was starting to peek up in the sky over the horizon, we began to trudge through the soft sand toward an Inquisition camp. We'd mostly camp near them because they usually had some rations or water stashed and waiting for any scouts. So we were able to replenish our supplies every day. That and strength in numbers, right?

Unfortunately, we'd encountered a nice sized camp on our way there. Bull, being who he was, had a few of the Chargers flank the camp before he charged in headfirst.

"Such passion." I drawled, notching an arrow and keeping my distance as I got ready to pick off some dudes. Varric was not far away, throwing some little traps on the ground as he hefted Bianca up and aimed at our enemies. It was Dorian who decided to speak up in response to my statement,

"Oh. He's not just passionate on the battlefield, Princess."

"Son of a-" I choked, letting go of my arrow and hearing it hit the sand at my feet with a 'fwip!'. "I didn't need to know that, Dorian!"

What is with people today and their perverted comments?!

The Tevinter made a 'tsk' noise and grinned at me before hopping off to get a better angle. Damn mage. The air was filled with shouted orders and the fizzly feeling that came with magic. It was like my hairs stood on end as the place around me felt like it was buzzing with power. Which was coming from Dorian, who wasn't that far away.

Everyone was distracted.

Riley was busy.

The arrow was sticking out of the Venatori man's upper arm, rendering it useless. But damn, did he look  _pissed_. He charged at me, causing me to squeak and attempt to bludgeon him with my bow. Obviously it didn't work, because he knocked it aside with his sword and sent it skittering across the sand. I dodged to the side and stumbled backwards, pulling out my dagger in the process. He was a warrior and I was a rogue, I should be able to at least dodge long enough until someone helped right?

Fuck.

The man slashed and lunged, trying his hardest to get a hit on me. A couple of times, he did, but I was able to parry it away (mostly) with my dagger. My poor arms had a few shallow cuts on them from his sword. I was not meant for close quarters combat, that was pretty obvious. The man seemed to notice this as well, a smirk forming on his face as he lunged again and aimed to slash at my neck. I didn't even have time to dodge that one as I pulled my dagger up and blocked the oncoming sword. He was, obviously, stronger than I. He overpowered me and sent the thing into my shoulder,

"Augh! You-" I wanted to curse at him, feeling a hot trail of blood trickle down my arm instantly. As if on some horrid instinct, _I sent my boot into his crotch._  The Venatori sang a high note for me and as he was about to double over, I grabbed his armor at his chest with my free hand. That was when I pulled him toward me, sending my forehead into his nose with a resounding  _'crack!'._ I don't think I'll ever forget the sheer amount of surprise on the man's face just then. Perhaps from getting his balls kicked or the fact that I was about to send my head into his, I'll never know.

It wasn't a good idea.

The man cried out at the same time I did and we went stumbling back in opposite directions. I was holding my forehead and I tried to keep my eyes open. Didn't happen. My vision wavered and black spots formed here and there. Okay, headbutting the enemy was a bad idea.

I staggered a little, eyes finally able to focus before I heard the most disgusting squelching noise I've ever heard. I was greeted with the messy sight of Bull pulling his great-sword out of my enemy, the Venatori falling limply to the ground. I tried my hardest not to look at the, likely, gory mess at my feet. Don't look. Don't look. Don't-

I looked, seeing his body damn near cleaved in half and I felt bile rise in my throat almost instantly. Fucking nasty. I promptly threw up in the sand right there, heaving the contents of my rations from only hours before. Not much, might I add, but still enough.

Once my body was no longer wracked with the dry heaves, I felt someone put a firm hand over my shoulder as they began to lead me away. Okay, so I was never going to get used to that. No matter how much I saw it, I doubted I'd get 'desensitized' to the idea of people dying. Especially not when they're cleaved in half by … oh Gods.

"You know, I've got to say, headbutting the enemy was a really ballsy thing to do. Especially to a  _Venatori_." Bull sounded almost proud and I slowly stood up, seeing Cole still holding onto my arm. Ah, so he had been the one to lead me off. The Qunari was in front of me, inconspicuously standing in the way so that I couldn't see the mess we'd made in the sand just seconds before. How sweet.

I felt kind of pathetic, really. They didn't seem to have an issue with it. Hell, I even  _hated_  the Venatori and here I was getting all sick over killing one. Pathetic.

"Probably not the wisest decision. Though the man really did know how to sing, didn't he?" I heard Dorian call from over Bull's shoulder, likely looting the corpses with the rest of the party. Not only could they have valuable information, they could have valuables. Because why not?

"She kicked him in the balls and headbutted him? Rogues and their dirty fighting, I swear." Krem spoke up, probably trying to lighten the mood or something. Him and his jibes. I'll get him back!

"Hey, if it gets the job done." Came Varric's nonchalant tone and I could practically picture him shrugging with that grin of his on his face.

Stitches walked up to me after he'd gotten done checking the others over and it was then that I realized that Cole had yet to let go of my arm. I blinked and looked down at his hand, which was now covered in my blood. Huh. How 'bout that. I didn't even feel it until I realized it was there, because of the adrenaline from the fight. First came the stinging ache, then the piercing hot and searing pain. I winced, letting out a hiss as I gritted my teeth.

The tanned healer pulled out his pack and pried Cole's hand off of my arm. Reluctantly, he let go and I could not help but stare as the wound seemed to gush forth. My head felt light and I'm sure I was pale, but it was almost … fascinating to watch. I couldn't tear my eyes away as he cleaned it and applied a poultice of some sort to stop the bleeding.

No one in our party specialized in healing magic, so there went that. Potions and poultices seemed to work just fine, however, because my wound was almost completely closed when he started to wrap it up in a bandage. The pain was also dulled to an ache.

"Thanks." Was my short response once the tanned healer finished, getting a grunt in response. I rolled my shoulder and poked the wound. The man grabbed my hand firmly and gave me that look that parents gave when they were telling their children not to do something. I was not impervious to this look, so I only bowed my head sheepishly and dropped my arm at my side.

"It should be fine by the end of the day." Stitches grumbled and turned to walk away.

* * *

It'd been two days now and we were making our way around the sand dunes, the moonlight shining down on us and casting enough illumination to see for miles. It was odd, because I wasn't used to having a moon that big. So the fact that it gave us so much light was kind of baffling to me. My eyes would often wander up to it, staring at it whenever I got the chance. It was beautiful.

That was usually when I'd trip on something, usually my own feet, and belly flop into the sand. Face first and rolling down a dune was next. There was even one time I got a nice mouthful! Isn't it wonderful?

Not really.

_I hate sand._

It also hindered movement quite a bit, so any battles we got into were extra tiring. Since I was usually moving around and able to dodge if anyone got too close, being able to maneuver was key. But the sand would usually embrace my feet and I'd sink so that I couldn't jump and dodge quite as efficiently.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a total pushover. For the most part... that is. Sure, I'd had to get saved a couple of times, but I could at least hold my own now. Mostly. A lot of ass-saving happened on the battlefield and if you were best friends with the healer, you usually got patched up first. Which meant Dalish was usually in tip top condition, that bitch.

It was on that second day out there that I noticed that Cole seemed to be stumbling around a bit more than usual. Sure, he was still getting used to a human body, but he never really staggered and stumbled as much as that day. One time I'd had to put an arrow through a guy's skull to keep him from lobbing Cole's head off. I'll tell you what, nothing is quite as terrifying as watching your boyfriend about to get cleaved in half.

Like what Bull did to that Venatori man.

Which brought me to the present as I stood in front of him with an angered look on my face. I was angry, sure, but I was also incredibly concerned. He almost never got hurt and the way he moved around on the battlefield was almost like an art, at this point. He was really good at it. But today...

"What's gotten into you? You've been staggering around like a drunkard all day!" I griped, grabbing his hand. It was then that I noticed how warm he was. No, it wasn't because we were in the middle of a frigging desert. But it was like he had a fever.

Because he did.

I groaned, yelling for Stitches as I looked him over. My hand flew up to his forehead, pushing away some of his shaggy hair in the process. Cole stared passively down at me, having not said a word the whole time. His breathing was elevated, too. God damn it. The old tanned man ambled over and huffed.

"What now, girl."

"I think he has a fever." I motioned toward him and the man uncrossed his arms to take a look at him. We were positioned near a rather large rock formation for a break, most of the group sitting down for a breather as the healer took a look at the scraggly rogue.

I heard the sounds of buckles coming undone and clothing getting removed and I felt my eyes widen. I flicked my brown gaze in their direction, seeing Cole standing there without his armor and shirt on. Stitches was looking at his right side with a rather intent expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly, skittering over to get a look at what he was looking at. The tanned healer was busy cleaning off, what looked to be, a rather large gash in Cole's side. That wasn't all, though. It looked … infected. "Shit."

"I couldn't have worded it better, myself." Bull grunted from behind me. What made the situation even more concerning was the fact that Cole had yet to speak. He hadn't even opened his mouth. Fuck. Shit. I wanted to yell at him for being so careless, but where would that have gotten us? He's probably never experienced this, before.

I scurried off to start putting up a rather crude medical tent, as per Stitches' orders, seeing a few of the others jump in to help. There was talk that they had to travel over to a nearby Inquisition camp for some special herbs that he'd run out of. It would take no more than a few hours for him to get back and fix up one of his 'mean potions' as Bull called them.

"Poultice. It's a poultice." Stitches sighed, setting everything back into his pack. They began to speak back and forth, but I'd tuned their voices out in favor of sitting right next to Cole as he laid down on the ratty looking bedroll in the sand. A large roof had been erected and the small abode was against the rock formation, mostly hidden by anyone that might be passing by.

"Everything is fuzzy, foggy … blurry..." Cole croaked as he stared at the tent's ceiling. I ran my fingers through his hair and felt a frown tugging at my face. His eyes slowly focused on my face, "Your fingers still tingle against my skin, calm and … and … please don't stop."

Apparently Dorian wasn't really good at any healing magic, whatsoever. He was good at, and I repeat Varric's words, 'Making the enemies fart fireballs. Poor bastards.'. But he was left behind in favor of his magey powers, since he could cast spells in the tent to keep Cole's body temperature down. I knew from the books in my world that if a fever got high enough, it could kill someone. It seemed they at least knew that, here.

Skinner and Krem stayed behind as support, just in case some enemies appeared. The rest of them took off as soon as they could to the nearest camp. They must have thought no one would even wander nearby, but they were wrong.

I heard voices in the distance, causing me to freeze up as I stared out at the entrance of the tent. I slowly inched out, giving Dorian a look. The Tevinter stayed while I crawled and sat in a crouched position next to Krem and Skinner. The two of them both had their weapons ready as they looked off toward where the noise was coming from.

"The squishy  _shem_  stays here." Skinner growled under her breath as she looked down at me with hardened brown eyes. She was usually a quiet elf and I knew of her hate toward humans, but the statement caused me to glare right back at her.

"We'll be right back, Princess. Stay put." Krem repeated in a much nicer way and they were off. I frowned as they disappeared around the rock formation. I wasn't some porcelain doll they needed to protect. I could, in the very least, act as a sniper of sorts if I got atop the rock formation that seemed to curl around our little campsite.

And I did. I crouched low, my bow resting on the hard surface as I peeked over. Skinner was quietly moving around a rather large patrol of Venatori as they ambled across the sand. A little too close to camp, at that. Krem was approaching and I heard them yell something as they took notice of him.

They weren't far off, within throwing distance of a certain something – now that I thought of it. I grunted and grabbed my Antivan Fire grenades and began to chuck them out at the group in quick succession, earning myself some frantic screams in the process as they exploded. The sticky substance stuck to some of them, sending them to the ground as they tried to roll and put the flames out.

I positioned my bow and began to pick some of them off as Krem engaged the enemies with vigor. The elf rogue appeared behind a few of the others and took them down with quick efficiency, a huge grin on her face as she did it. Riley was beside them, pulling the enemies down to the ground and dispatching them quite easily. The battle was over as quick as it began. Or so I thought, until I heard a yell back at camp.

"Cole, stop!" Dorian's voice traveled up onto the rock formation I was on and I felt the blood drain from my face. Without so much as a second thought, I stumbled toward the edge of my perch and looked down in time to see the blonde rogue mid-battle with an enemy rogue.

Cole's was fighting him off in almost a drunken state, the bandage around his chest the only thing he was wearing on his torso. I squawked in indignation, sliding down and almost falling off of the rocks as I scurried in his direction.

What the hell was he thinking!?

I didn't even get to shoot the man as he took notice to the presence of three others, aside from Cole and Dorian. Skinner and Krem came jogging around the corner, followed by a massive Mabari. I'm sure anyone would run from that sight, to be honest. Riley was completely covered in blood as it dribbled from his muzzle. He growled warningly and I could have sworn I saw the Venatori rogue's face pale as an 'oh shit' expression formed.

He turned to run, but couldn't because I'd already fired an arrow into his leg and sent him to the ground. Skinner was quick to walk forward and finish him off, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"They have soft and squishy insides." She twisted her dagger and it made a disgusting squelching noise as she did it. She, dare I say, looked like she enjoyed the noise as I stood there and winced. The elf pulled her dagger out and wiped the blood on her pant leg. When the brunette elf looked to me and smirked, I had to suppress a shiver. Her smile was creepy, too. In an I'll- _stab_ -you-in-your-sleep sorta way. Mine was just creepy in an unsettling I- _watch_ -you-sleep kinda way. Different, yet the same.

Well then.

Needless to say, Cole had gotten a stern talking to by Dorian and I about knowing the limitations of his body. I don't think he even fully comprehended everything we said, because his eyes kept hazing over as he stared off into the distance. In his confused state, I doubt our lectures would get through to him.

I got yelled at too, because I'd blatantly ignored Krem and Skinner's orders. Effectively scolded, I spent the rest of my time in the tent with Dorian and Cole.

When the rest of the group finally got back, Stitches got to work on fixing the injured rogue the best he could. Cole had been getting worse and worse as the hours went on and I was starting to feel increasingly distraught as he worsened. It seemed Bull wasn't lying when he said the combat medic was good at what he did. Because not even an hour after he was done cleaning and dressing his wound, Cole's condition started to stabilize.

I sat on my knees next to the bedroll that he was laying on, his face slightly flushed as he stared up at the ceiling of the tent. I placed my hand on his forehead, brushing his white-blonde hair out of the way in the process. He was quite warm, but Stitches had said that he would pull through just fine after the medicine had a chance to go through his system.

Honestly? I hadn't thought that he could even get an infection and it worried me a bit that he hadn't mentioned his wound sooner. He was going to have to get talked to about his health. Preferably when he wasn't high on painkillers or completely out of it. I sighed.

"I was afraid. Nervous, before. Not anymore,  _isn't that odd?"_  Cole's voice slurred a bit as his blue eyes flicked over in my direction. I squinted, the candlelight not offering much in terms of illumination. It got the job done, however. The mixture of painkillers and his fever was likely making him feel a bit off, at that moment. He sat up and my hands flew up to his shoulders.

"Lay back down, you're going to hurt yourself." I stated firmly, trying to push him back but couldn't seem to. Even in his weaker state, he was much stronger than me. I let out a frustrated growl but he cut me off as he pulled me against him. My growl turned into a squeak as he squeezed me.

"I like it when we're like this." Cole's voice was right next to my ear, his breath ghosting across the sensitive skin there. I flushed and attempted to squirm away but he kept me in place. He was injured and didn't want him to hurt himself more. He may have been feeling fine now, but what about later when the painkillers wore off? Or when his fever went down and his bodily aches caught up with him? "Always worrying about me, about others. You're kind, gentle … y-you  _care_."

"I care, but I'm most certainly not going to be gentle in a moment if you don't let me go. You're—!" He'd tilted my head and pressed his lips firmly onto mine, my brown eyes widening in surprise. My heart stuttered because I hadn't anticipated the intensity of his kiss just then. The air felt like it was full of raw energy as it crackled between us. Cole seemed more confident just then, his movements more sure. He pulled away slightly and let out a very quiet whimper,

"C-Can we do this more often?" He whispered, his lips still barely grazing mine. I couldn't even think, let alone speak. It seemed I wasn't the only one effected and I could feel his hand, which was resting on my cheek, start to tremble. "Everything comes into place, clicks, becomes brighter and more vivid. You make me real … make me … me."

"A-As much as you'd like." Was all I could say after a few beats of silence. After I was finally able to regain my wits. Cole smiled softly and laid back onto his bedroll, pulling me with him. I didn't even protest his movements and allowed my body to shift and get comfortable, careful not to disturb his wound.

I woke up the next day buried between two incredibly warm bodies. Riley was pressed against my back, curled up. Cole was laying on his uninjured side with me pulled against his chest. Any other time I would have loved waking up like that, since it was utterly adorable. But we were in the desert and I was slowly roasting alive between the two of them.

After a day's rest, he was able to get up and move around. Which was exactly what we were doing as we trudged along the sand and made our way onto a trail, rough tufts of grass peeking out of the dirt as a wood fence lined the dirt road. We were making our way back to the meeting point that Lynn had specified.

The Inquisition camp appeared slowly in the distance over some hills and rocks as we ambled our way toward it at a comfortable pace. The sand was starting to make it harder to walk up hill, the moon falling from the sky as it slowly lightened up. It was almost time to camp for the night – er, day – again.

"Good, because I've got sand stuck in  _certain places._ " I paused, glaring at the sand like it wronged me in some unforgiving way. I hated the desert. It was beautiful at night, but I didn't particularly like the fact that I kept falling and now had sand crammed in every crevice in my armor … and body. Fuck.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so clumsy."

"Shut up, Varric." I responded halfheartedly, getting a chuckle out of the dwarf. He knew by now that my scathing comments weren't actually serious, which made me frown. I wasn't sure how I felt about more people knowing that I wasn't as 'surly' as I made myself out to be.

I grumbled, kicking the sand disdainfully. I had sand in my boots and armor, sand in my bra and panties. Sand all over in my hair. Sand!  _I'm sick of all this m_ _otherfucking sand._ _In my motherfucking shoes._

I wanted to tear my armor off.

"Is that steam rising, I see?" Dorian joked, looking over at me as I glared off into the distance. "Though I must agree, this sand is absolutely dreadful. What I wouldn't give for a delicious soak in a hot bath, right now." He sighed and I couldn't agree more. We all kind of smelled a little ripe, at this point. I'd kill for a stream, of some sort.

"The sand itches, sticks and irritates the skin. I can help." Cole piped up, poking his head out from the other side of the mage. I felt myself pale as I looked over at him, shaking my head furiously. He looked absolutely confused, causing a few of the others to notice. No. No no. Don't you – "What's wrong with helping you tear your  _armor_  off? I've helped you pull off your  _shirt_  before."

You know, I really needed to have a talk with him about randomly blurting those kinds of things out loud. Granted, he was getting better now that he as learning new things. But things like this? Ah, now I was getting some odd stares from a few people in the party. Varric coughed to cover up his laugh, looking like he knew that it wasn't what it sounded like. Because it wasn't. Dorian stared over at Cole with a huge grin on his face.

"Marvelous! You definitely work fast, don't you?" He pulled the lanky rogue into a half hug with his arm, sounding proud of him. "I see my lessons are finally paying off."

"No...?" Cole spoke hesitantly and I scowled. Lessons? What the hell was he feeding him? I would do more than just steal his clothing if he so much as –

"Lessons!?" I screeched, looking at the Tevinter, feeling appalled at what I was currently hearing. "What in the Pit are you teaching Cole?!"

"Not just lessons, I draw him diagrams too." He waggled his eyebrows and I felt my face quickly turn colors. I then realized just who drew those pictures I found in his pockets all those days back. I simply thought that maybe he was collecting them and that it was something young men did. Apparently I was wrong. "Though I'm sure you know what I mean, dearie."

My hands clenched and unclenched as I glowered at him through my messy hair.

I felt the sudden urge to rip Dorian's curled mustache off, causing Cole to peer over at me with a disapproving look in his eyes. Okay okay, maybe just shave one side off? He shook his head slightly. How about the eyebrow? His frown deepened.

I deflated a little, turning my head away. No, I couldn't do it if he felt so strongly against it. I was getting  _soft_.

Damn it.

"Just, please keep _'the talks'_ to a minimum. As informative as they are, the last one kind of gave me nightmares." Varric spoke dryly from his spot not far away, which interested me. The way he'd said 'the talks' caused me to look over at him inquisitively. What the hell have they been talking about?

"Now I'm curious." I spoke cautiously, looking at them with a suspicious glare.

"No. You're not." Krem groaned, burying his face in his hands and I could swear I saw him blushing. I rose a brow and heard Bull boom with hearty laughter.

"Speaking of which, did it help?" The Qunari patted Cole's back rather roughly, sending him stumbling forward. "I remember my first time -"

"There are ladies around, you know!" Dalish interrupted with a flushed face. Skinner was staring off into the distance with a disinterested look on her face, possibly because she already knew what they were talking about. Was I the only one that was uninformed here?! I felt my face turn sour at the thought.

"I tried, but it still won't to listen to me The Iron Bull." Cole sounded completely chill about it as he looked up at the Qunari.

"This is not something we talk about with everyone here, Kid." Varric warned and I slowly inched my way over to the group of men. My boots dug into the sand, the sun starting to peek over the horizon as it lit up the small path we were now following to our meeting point.

"Oh no, please do continue. I want to see her reaction when she realizes her innocent spirit isn't as innocent as she thinks he is." Dorian sounded rather amused, "For academic reasons, of course."

Oh, I knew  

"What did you do to him?" I spoke warningly, thinking the worst. I examined Cole, who was now looking down at the front of his trousers with a concentrated expression on his face.

"I woke up and it was uncomfortable, cramped, too tight – I wanted to-" My eyes widened in comprehension and I panicked.

" _ **Whoa!"**_ I yelled rather loudly, cutting off his little outburst as I turned my head and stared off into the distance. He was talking about morning wood. Yep. Awkward boners. Nope. Not going there. Not now. My expression was schooled into forced passivity, but I could feel my face as it likely turned pink to red to almost purple in a matter of seconds. "Would you  _look at that!_  Isn't that …  _SAND_  really nice?! Yes. The sand is lovely! And those …  _those stars!"_

The stars were slowly fading from the sky, but that didn't matter as I started to laugh hysterically.

* * *

Cole stared at Lyn, disbelief clear on his features as she jogged away toward the Inquisition camp in the distance. The woman didn't even look back. A few of them watched her retreating form with a disturbed look on their faces, while others seemed almost sympathetic.

"I think you broke her." Dalish murmured, her face red as well. Though out of second hand embarrassment for Cole. The poor young man didn't know what he should and shouldn't share with the group. Not yet, anyway.

"What's wrong, Kid?"

"She … was imagining what it looked like when I was naked." Such as times like that.

"Shit. I had to go there, didn't I?" Varric turns away and puts his hand on the bridge of his nose. "You know what, keep those kinds of things to yourself alright? That falls under 'Private Thoughts'. Remember?"

"Yes."

"So wait, you've never....?" Dorian rose a brow.

"No. I have, it's just ..." He stared at her as she stomped away, a faint blush forming on his face. The rogue nodded solemnly, "Those are private thoughts."

* * *

I had awoken earlier than the others, seeing the sunlight barely peeking in the distance. It was evening and I'd decided to grab Skittles and go hunting real quick before Lynn's group got back to meet up with us. The temptation of fresh meat was too much and I'd remembered seeing a few August Rams hopping around in the area.

But that thought was in the back of my mind, because a huge fucking lizard staring at me. Okay, so I'd never seen  _those_  before. Not even in the game, no.

I was currently spurring Skittles into a gallop across the sandy terrain and heading back toward an Inquisition camp as I let out the most ungodly sounding screech I could. Skittles seemed just as frightened as I, hopping and pounding her hooves into the sand as we barreled toward the rest of the party.

This was going to be the last time I wandered off in the desert for food. Because, I ran into this oversized lizard of some sort. Huge teeth protruded out of it's pointed snout, big black predatory eyes had locked onto me and I'd hopped onto my horse so fast that she'd stumbled a little. The horse had taken notice to the oversized lizard then and we were off like the Devil was on our heels. And it was. The thing was crawling along the sand at a pace that matched the gallop of the horse.

If that wasn't scary, I don't know what was.

I took a huge gulp of air and let out another terrified screech, the horse let out a loud whinny in response. We were both scared. I heard some of the people in the distance yelling and asking what was wrong. The growls and hisses at the heels of my horse made it so that I was unable to even formulate a response as we galloped passed a small group of my friends and into the Inquisition camp ahead.

I heard the sounds of fighting and Bull's amused laughter as they likely killed the thing. I turned Skittles around and she kept rearing up and digging her hooves into the sand nervously.

"It was just a Varghest, Screech. Calm down." I heard Varric's voice as he slowly ambled over toward Skittles and I. The horse whickered and hopped a little, lifting both of her front legs slightly. I was just as skittish as the horse at that moment and looked down at the dwarf incredulously.

" _ **Just**_  a Varghest. Did you  _fucking see that thing?!_  It was –" I pulled on the reins of my horse to keep her from darting away from a few of the party members as they approached, "Almost as big as my horse!"

"Screech."

"Bandits, Venatori, Red Templars,  _hell_  even bears I could kill." I rattled out hysterically, "But oversized lizards with teeth longer than my dagger? This world is  _bullshit_ , sometimes."

The horse walked in a circle and faced the group again, her ears flicking back and forth. My behavior was obviously startling Skittles even more so I started to take deep breaths as I ran my fingers through her mane. Calm. I've got to calm. It's dead. There wasn't more, right? My brown eyes flicked around to look for anymore danger.

"Are you quite done with your little tirade, Princess?" Dorian asked, adopting Krem's little nickname for me. If a vein could pop out of my forehead I'm sure it did just then as I whipped my head in his direction.

They may think it's funny for someone to be absolutely terrified of the bears and lizards here, but it wasn't to me. Those kinds of things weren't common back where I came from so I had every right to be scared. And I was. Though I had an itching feeling that wasn't the scariest thing I was going to see here in the Hissing Wastes, so might as well get used to it. At least a few of the arrows I had now were explosive and might actually do something against the thick scales of a Varghest.

Let's just hope I don't encounter a dragon. Those are even  _bigger_  lizards. Actually, I could go my whole life not seeing a dragon and I'd be completely fine. They sounded so cool and wicked when we saw them on the television back home. But in real life? There wasn't a chance in fucking hell I'd survive.

"We don't have  _those_  back on Earth, either." I sighed and looked at the dead Varghest, feeling my heartbeat slowly coming down from the adrenaline rush I'd gotten just minutes ago. The stress Thedas was putting me through was going to give me a heart attack. And grey hairs. My head of rust colored hair was going to be completely grey by the time I hit 25.

I leaned forward and scratched my horse's neck affectionately. The horse had saved my life and I swore to gift her with many treats upon our arrival at Skyhold.

"You know, what  _do_  you have on Earth?" Krem rose a brow and I snorted.

"Bombs, humans … more bombs. Humans and war?" I spoke in a sarcastic tone and the warrior shook his head.

"It can't be that bad, come on." The warrior placed a hand on his hip as he tilted his head at me. I'd explained to him one time what bombs were and needless to say, he did not like the idea.

"You're right." I sighed, slowly easing myself off of my horse. She was still moving around uneasily, but was calmer than before. That's something. "Our worlds aren't that different, I guess, aside from the obvious technological gap. We have that and you guys have wildlife that wants to eat you all the time. How  _do_  people survive here, anyway?"

"Eh, we get by."

When the others returned that night, Inquisitor Lavellan and a few of the others began to speak and relay information that they'd found. A few papers were passed between them, information that they'd found no doubt, and glances were shared before we all decided to go to a place called the Tomb of Fairel before we left the Wastes.

With all of the shit going on all at once, I'd completely spaced the fact that I'd almost gotten kidnapped by Venatori again. Only this time they'd had orders to. It was something I planned on talking to Lynn about, because I'm sure that we'd found something on our little expedition in the desert. What with all of the camps we'd plundered as we our way through.

For some reason, I had this oddly foreboding feeling come over me as I stared up at the ceiling of my tent before I slept. Whatever happened, I only hoped that I came out of it alive.


	30. Motherfucking Dragons

 

I totally fucking called it. This world was shitty. Complete and utter shit. Shittiest of shit. I was currently trying to hold back my frustrated screech so I settled for screaming internally. The only person that could hear, obviously, being Cole. The scraggly rogue was eying me from his spot at my left. Me? Ah, well I was staring over at the biggest – scaliest – lizard I've ever seen.

A motherfucking dragon.

It was utterly massive, horns curved back and pointed at the ground. It's teeth showed, even though it's mouth was shut as I lay curled up on the sand. The wings were relaxed and had a yellowish hue to them, scales glinting in the moonlight. Hues of black, yellows and browns speckled all the way from it's head to it's spiked tail.

Oh, it was just sleeping as it curled up in the middle of a huge area that was designated as the Tomb of Fairel. Breathing nice and slow as it drifted off in the Fade. Wait, do animals even go into the Fade when they dream? (I still had a lot to learn about this world) Well, point is – Iron Bull decided it was time to get loud as he yelled excitedly at the sight of the thing.

"Fuck yeah! A dragon!" He then blurted something in a language I couldn't understand and charged forward. The Chargers following suit, armor clicking as they made movements with the sounds of unsheathing weapons.

"Oh, well would you look at that.  _A dragon._ What a great way to ruin our day." Dorian spoke up as he stared over at the beast, his staff already out and ready. I'm sure Lynn and Sera had said something or another, but had jogged forward into the fray without much of a thought.

"You know … I hate this world, sometimes." Was the first comment to fall out of my mouth.

"I think you mentioned that, Screech. Just try not to get eaten, okay?" Varric gave me an encouraging pat on the back as he hobbled forward with Bianca drawn. It didn't encourage me in the least, it felt like my stomach had turned to lead.

A deafening roar filled the air, the area around us seemingly vibrating as it reverberated through the Tomb. My stomach dropped out of my ass right then, I swear. Well, it certainly felt like it.

"I won't let you get hurt." Cole spoke confidently and I looked over at him, face pale. He would get eaten too, if he goes up to it. There were enough of us that he could just stay back and help pick off … those little lizards coming out of the rubble. Were those  _baby_  dragons?!

Any confidence I'd had before was totally sapped out of my body. I'd come along to get better at fighting but a dragon was … a little much, don't you think? I was always one for the saying 'When life throws shit at you, throw shit back', but right now it was throwing dragons at me and I  _really_  wanted to run in the other direction.

"… shit." I squeaked, notching an explosive arrow and firing it at a baby dragon (dragonling?). The arrow connected with a loud _'Crack!',_  causing a few of the others to look in that direction. Since they were younger and scales not as hard as the actual dragon, it actually pierced their armor and sent it skittering back. I kept firing over and over, staying at a distance in hopes that I wouldn't either get stepped on or chewed up. I'd instructed Riley to stay nearby, as well. Mainly because I didn't want him to become the next snack for the lizard with wings that our party was currently fending off.

The warriors in the party; Cassandra, Blackwall, Iron Bull, Krem, and Grim – were all on the front lines attacking the thing. How it was they were able to without getting squished was beyond me, but they seemed to know what they were doing. Archers like Sera, Varric and I were positioned near the back picking off dragonlings and occasionally sending our arrows into the dragon itself. The mages, of course, not far off from us either acting as support or attacking the thing outright. The dual wielding rogues were doing their … sneaky rogue things.

I heard another roar, this one much higher pitched and shrill than the last one. It echoed and vibrated in the hollowed out canyon, causing my vision to blur. It felt like my ear drums were getting clawed out of my ears and I covered them, wincing and curling forward. I wasn't the only one, because I saw the others do the same. When I was able to regain my senses, the ground shook as it stomped on the ground and leapt into the air.

But not before breathing fire at my friends. I didn't even have time to scream at them to run. The inferno raged on and rolled in my direction. My brown eyes just about bulged out of my eye sockets as I threw myself behind the nearest object. Fortunately, I was able to dive behind some rubble just in time as I felt the wave of heat roll just above my head. Air rushed by and it felt like my breath was taken away and I couldn't seem to breathe at all.

I felt my eyes start to water as the flames licked the rubble around me and hit the sand not far away. That was close. A little too close for comfort, actually. I carefully stood up and looked out there, cautious not to touch the searing hot rubble that saved my life. Shouted orders trailed through the air and the smell that invaded my nostrils just then made me want to gag. It was like a horrid mixture of burned rubber and … meat? Meat. It was burning flesh! No. Oh gods no. My eyes searched frantically. I didn't have to look long, because I saw someone rolling in the sand trying to put the flames on their body out.

Pained shrieks filled the air and the warriors swarmed the beast again, some of the others staying back to fend off some of the dragonlings. I darted forward, realizing that it was Skinner. The elf was laying completely still on her back, her chest heaving as she stared unblinkingly up at the sky.

"Skinner!" I yelled, stumbling into a crouched position next to her once the fire was extinguished. She didn't look too well. Understatement of the century. I felt my stomach churn at the sight, the right side of her armor completely charred, the burns licking all the way up to her face. I didn't even want to know what she looked like underneath her armor, if it was burnt that badly. I idly wondered if her eye would even be salvageable. "Shit."

"She is hurt." I heard Cole's even tone and I snapped my attention over to him. Stating the obvious, are we?

"Yes, I'm going to-" The blood drained from my face when I saw a dragonling stalking in our direction just behind the scraggly rogue. He whipped around and threw himself at the beast, protecting the two of us.

My eyes darted around, searching for any more enemies. Riley wasn't far away, having avoided the blast, gnawing and battling one of the baby dragons with Varric. Making a last minute decision, I looked down at the half-charred elf.

"I'm sorry, this'll probably hurt." I winced and she looked over at me weakly, her hand twitching near her dagger.

"Do not touch me, shem." She growled and I growled right back.

"You're in no place to give orders." I griped, ignoring her statement and putting my arms underneath her back and legs. She tried to squirm out of my grasp but hissed in pain, instead. I hefted her up, careful to use my legs and not my back. Never use your back when you lift heavy objects … or people. She really wasn't that heavy, to be honest … Was this an elf thing? They all looked so slight and delicate. "I'm taking her to safety!"

Skinner let out a pained moan, but I ignored it as I skittered off toward the entrance of the Tomb we were currently using as a massive battlefield. Once we were a sufficient distance away, I crouched and tried to set her down as gently as possible. God damn it.

"Can you move your other arm?" I asked, almost demanded, seeing her look at me with hardened brown eyes. She was a woman that had gone through a lot, I could tell. That look in her eyes told me enough as I grabbed a few healing potions that I'd stashed from earlier, holding them out to her. Skinner looked almost reluctant to accept something from me. "Just fucking take it!" I snapped out.

"You'd make a shitty healer." She spoke irritably, her other arm coming up to rip them out of my hand.

"Good thing I'm not, then." I grumbled, standing up and unsheathing my bow. Informing Stitches of Skinner's condition was my priority at that time, since he was the battle medic. The sound of slithering across the sand caused me to pause my thinking, seeing a black form slowly peek around the corner. Intelligent eyes stared at Skinner and I. A dragonling, probably as long as my horse and only half as tall. The slowly rising sunlight glinted off of it's pitch black scales, huge teeth could be seen as it opened it's mouth. I'd been firing arrows at these things, but they were far enough away that they wouldn't be a threat. Since the close quarters fighters would finish them off.

But one of them had found us.

It lunged and I shrieked, swinging my bow and hitting it over the head multiple times. It snapped its jaws at me and clamped down on my bow. My eyes widened as its teeth snapped shut and I heard a loud  _'Crack!'_

My bow broke in half and fell on the ground.

"Augh! You!  _Shit-_ " I dodged out of the way of another attack, keeping my eyes on the beast as I unsheathed my dagger. It didn't seem at all interested in Skinner, who was laying on the ground staring fearfully up at the thing. She was completely helpless and I was shit at fighting close combat.

What are the chances I'd win?

Not good. I slashed at it, "Come on, you piece of shit!" I tried to make as much noise as possible as I leapt back and led it away from the injured Charger. The dragonling made a low noise in the back of its throat as it crouched and got ready to pounce. There was no way –

A massive brown blur barreled forward and latched onto it, causing it to stumble and whirl around to try and get the new enemy off of it's neck. Riley had latched onto it and was currently trying to fend the thing off on his own. Not even thinking twice, I launched myself forward and tried to stab the thing in the head. Repeatedly.

It was dying and about to snap at me. As if on instinct, I held my left arm up and tried to block. Only to hear a loud crunch that signified my vambrace snapping. Yeah, that wasn't the only thing that snapped I'm sure. I screamed. Black spots formed in my vision and white hot pain laced up my arm and into my shoulder. I sent my dagger into it's head a few more times before it fell to the ground, limp.

I was pretty sure my forearm was broken, at that point, and tears sprung to my eyes. It was completely agonizing as I stared down at my mangled arm. Bleeding profusely, I looked over at my furry companion. Riley tilted his head and I spoke through gritted teeth, "Stay with Skinner, I have to get Stitches."

The Mabari whined and I turned and stumbled in the direction of the shouts and sounds of battle. They were still engaging the enemy with vigor and the dragon looked like it was getting tired out, blood leaking from various places onto the sand.

"Stitches!" I yelled, seeing the tanned healer crouched next to Dalish. The blonde elf had her arm wrapped and he stood up when he saw my arm dangling against my chest. I was still cradling it and he stomped forward, a roll of bandages ready to be used on me. "No, not me."

"Maker's balls, child. Now is not the time to-"

"Skinner was burned! She's in critical condition over there." I pointed my good arm in her direction, "Riley is protecting her, but she needs immediate attention."

He grumbled and handed me the roll of bandages, giving me a pointed look before he took off. Right, I was bleeding. Everyone was far enough away that I wasn't in any immediate danger, so I wrapped my arm crudely. Enough to stop myself from bleeding out, I hoped. My arm hurt every time I moved it or touched it in the wrong way, causing me to whine. Yes yes, I was whining. Whining like a frigging bitch, because it hurt!

"I'm too pretty to die!" I heard, causing my face to scrunch. Who the hell yells that in the middle of battle?

Oh, right.

"Dorian." I sighed, more so to myself than anything, and looked up to see him stumbling away on his knees. His decorative robe was a little worse for the wear, tears and rips galore. I bet he was screaming internally. I saw the dragon leap away again, the ground rumbling as it did so. Taking that as a cue, I rushed forward and helped the Tevinter up so that we could get away to safety.

Just as we were about to get behind some rubble, I felt the wind starting to pick up. Dirt and rocks started to hit me in the face and the sound was almost deafening as it only increased more and more.

_'Whomp whomp whomp'_

There was a gust of air that caused my hair to whip around and my eyes to widen in realization. We were in it's area of attack and I knew exactly what the dragon was doing just behind me. It was flapping it's wings and causing the air around it to rotate and twist in a cyclone of wind and 'fuck-your-shit-ery'.

The last thing I remembered was feeling my body, along with Dorian's (who I had been helping), flip and turn as I was sent gliding through the air and into an incredibly hard surface. Now, I'm going to guess it was a rock or boulder of some sort. Fortunately for Dorian, I was the one that hit first so that I could cushion his fall.

Not so fortunate for me, however. My vision went black and my ears picked up on some screams and yells that seemed to echo in my head before my world slowly faded away.

* * *

By the time I regained consciousness it was to the sight of Solas sitting at my side tending to my wounds. Occasionally I'd feel warmth envelope my body before he would fidget around with something on my left arm, moving it back and forth as he examined it. I couldn't feel a thing, almost like it was numbed. I watched, in a sleepy state, curiously as he stared intently down at my arm before starting to put a splint on it. The magic in this world, even to this day, fascinated me to no end.

"Bones are much more difficult to mend than flesh wounds." Solas spoke as he started to tie the splint and I felt my arm being moved, "I've done all I could for now, but after a few sessions it should be fine until we get back to Skyhold. There is a healing mage there that is more proficient at these procedures than I."

When the bald elf was done he turned his gaze to me, his face still set in passivity.

"We don't have … magic … where I come from." I murmured, hearing my voice come out almost scratchy. My eyes started to droop a little but I tried to ignore it. "I  _like_  magic … it's …"

I don't think I even had a chance to finish my sentence before my vision wavered and blacked out. When it came back I was staring up at a grey sky, my brown eyes squinting in confusion. Had I passed out?

I slowly turned my head and blinked blearily, eyes focusing on Solas again. He was staring off into the distance as he sat near our feet. Everyone else was quietly riding their horses beside the cart. He could have easily 'accidentally' not healed me enough or simply let me die, but he didn't. I knew that we were not on good terms, but it baffled me that he would go out of his way to make sure that I was stable. Perhaps my view on people's behavior has been skewed, or something. Because I'd expected something completely different to happen. I always expected the worst out of people.

If you expect very little from people, there is less of a chance you'd get disappointed. Or hurt, in some cases. That was my logic, anyway. I tried to open my mouth to ask a question, feeling a wee bit bad for always picking on the elf. I was thirsty and my mouth was dry, like it had cotton balls stuck inside of it. Brilliant.

"A-Are you..still mad...Fen'Harel?" I croaked, watching as Solas' attention snapped to me in almost disbelief. I squinted my eyes, feeling irritated that my voice couldn't seem to come out like I wanted it too. From the look on his face, I assumed my condition was pretty bad if he was surprised that I was awake now. Was it  _that_  bad? "A-Are you still … m-mad … about that Fen'Harel t-thing?" I forced out, voice sounding scratchy.

"I-I … no. No I am not." His brows scrunched as he moved so that he was closer to me, his hands came up to cast a spell. At least I think that was what he was doing, because I felt my body get warmer and the ache on my side subsided. "Why would it matter, if I may be so bold?"

"I just didn't want to insult you in some unforgiving way." I chuckled hoarsely, though I found no humor in what I said. "You saved my life, even though I have been a complete ass to you."

"I hardly think that our mutual dislike for one another would warrant me letting you die." He drawled and I felt myself frown. I was covering up the smile that wanted to form on my face. Solas wasn't bad, if only a bit stuck up. That didn't make him a horrible person, it seemed. Well, he wasn't as horrible as I've been making him out to be. I wasn't sure if that was a relief or...

"Oh, I've been waiting all year for this." I tried to sigh dramatically, finishing in a louder tone. "Solas finally returns my feelings."

"Whaaut?!" I heard Sera's high pitched tone from the left of the wagon.

I heard someone grunt and ask something from the other side of the cart and I swore I felt the air shift above my head. The sun was suddenly gone and out of my eyes as a shadow was cast over my face. I blinked, seeing Cole peering down at me with his all seeing eyes. Or would it be like 'all hearing' instead of 'all seeing'?

"You are awake."

"Yes. I am awake, Cole."

He stared down at me intensely and I could have sworn he had been brooding or something but eventually his expression slowly softened. Had he been feeling bad all this time?

"You did it again. Almost got yourself killed." Cole spoke quietly as he unclipped a jug of some sort from his belt. We all had them and I believe they were called canteens. I winced as I tried to pull myself into a seated position, because the promise of water was too tempting to turn down. I doubt I'd be able to drink water laying down that well.

My ribs felt like they'd been pulled out of my damn body and my left arm was set in a sling, a splint for my forearm was crafted rather crudely from sticks and leather strips from someone's pack, no doubt. I felt Cole grab my shoulders to help me into a semi-seated position. I turned and gave him a grateful look.

Occasionally I'd feel the cart jerk to the side as we hit a bump in the road, _'Clunk!'_. The wheels made a slight squeak as we ambled on at a comfortable pace. The scenery slowly passing by, now that I was upright and able to see things.

"If I hadn't done it, Skinner would be dead and Dorian in the same condition as I." I spoke and let out a grunt as I repositioned myself. It was stupid, yeah. But he would have done it too, if someone he cared about was about to get killed. Though Skinner and I were not friends, perhaps merely acquaintances, I could not just leave her out there to get burned alive.

Not while I had a say in it. I had mentioned before about my career choice being Police work and how my life was to be on the line everyday anyway. I'm guessing I can't put 'saving people's asses from dragons' on my resume, though. A shame.

"Indeed, you make a marvelous pillow." Dorian chirped and I could finally see out of the uncovered wagon we were in as he rode beside the cart on his horse. The damn Tevinter looked completely unscathed, aside from a few tears in his robes. A much better improvement to the last time I saw him. I silently wondered what he would have done if his eyebrows or mustache were singed off of his face one of these times.

Perhaps that was why he hated dragons so much?

"Yes yes, luxurious no doubt." I nodded, shifting my shoulder to the side to try and get rid of the ache settling there. "Woe be the day your face gets marred in a dragon attack."

"Have you  _seen_  this face?" The mage pulled up his tanned hand and waved dramatically toward his handsome face, his eyebrow quirked up as he flashed me a smile. "Although, pillows do not squeak and make crunching noises if you land on them."

"I did not _squeak!"_ I crunched? How hard had I hit that rock?

"You did." Bull confirmed and I groaned,

"How would  _you_  know? You were busy getting off to the dragon!" I snapped back, hearing a few short bursts of laughs from a couple of people that happened to be riding next to him. Though, I knew not from whom. Yeah, I'd heard he and the Inquisitor talking over a few drinks about what he said when they fought dragons. I remembered.

Trying to ignore the fact that I was pressed against Cole, I stared at the back of the cart and watched the ground slowly move by.

"How long have I been out, exactly?"

"About three and a half days." Solas answered as he flicked his gaze in my direction. I grunted and nodded.

"How's she doing?" I nodded in Skinner's direction, seeing her still laying on her back passed out. She looked a lot less menacing when she was asleep, but her face and whole arm was covered in bandages of some sort. Some pink burns peeked out and she would have scars, no doubt. What mattered, however, was that she was alive.

"Why does the squishy  _shem_  care?" I heard her ask, her brown eyes slowly opening to look in my direction. I actually jumped, feeling Cole clasp onto my sides to steady and prevent me from toppling over in my weakened state. I thought she was asleep!

"I-I  _don't!_  I was just curious!" I blurted, feeling my face turn red. I was sorely tempted to call her the roasted elf or something, but refrained from doing so. The last thing I needed was another rogue wanting to kill me. The brunette elf and I seemingly glared at one another before I saw a small twitch of her lips. Mine did too, but I huffed and looked away.

"So, I hear you're interested in magic." Dorian spoke idly, his horse slowly coming closer to the cart so that he was right beside us. I turned to look at him, "Shouldn't someone like you be afraid of it? Hate it, even. So unfamiliar with the strange and unusual things of this world. Everything is decidedly more treacherous as the days go by and to add magic to top it off?"

Oh, Dorian.

"Fear is the wrong term to use, I would think. A deep respect for, sure. The most beautiful things in life are often dangerous and deadly, Dorian." I nodded. I'd thought of this extensively when I'd first arrived. Mages were dangerous, sure. But … "The forces of nature ebb and flow, like an ocean tide. Calm and turbulent. Without one there would not be another. So, no, I do not hate mages – just as I do not hate the lightning in a thunderstorm. Tornadoes and heavy wind storms. It just is."

"I think the Kid is rubbing off on you, Screech." Varric's voice came out slow as he ambled along on his horse just behind the cart. I happened to see Solas' expression as I looked over at the dwarf, seeing him stare at me with an almost baffled look on his face. Hmmm.

"Oy, ya ever wonder how it rains?" Sera stared up at the sky, which was overcast and grey. That and we'd just been talking about storms. I knew this!

"Hydrologic Cycle." I muttered instantly, leaning back a little against my human pillow. A rather marvelous human pillow, might I add. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I turned to look at the usually loud elf on the opposite side of the cart as Dorian. She was looking at me with a confused expression on her face. Oh, right. "The  _water_  cycle, which is just the continuous movement of water throughout the environment. The water moves from place to place. Such as from rivers, lakes and oceans. Water evaporates into the air, turning into a gas, then eventually condenses, which creates fog and clouds … er … why are you looking at me like that?"

"That's not normal." Sera was staring at me blankly and my face slowly morphed into one that mirrored hers.

"No no, this is interesting. Do continue." Curiosity colored Dorian's tone and I turned to see him petting his mustache almost thoughtfully. And that, my friends, was how I launched into a nice little lesson on the water cycle and eventually the weather. That was one time the books on the Earth's climate and weather actually came in handy. The planet here likely worked the same way, seeing as how people breathed oxygen and thrived off of water. It was one of the things I'd been interested in, after all. Though they knew a great deal about the environment already, some of the things I had to say seemed to add to their little collection of information in their brains.

The only ones that even seemed remotely interested were Dorian and Solas. Which wasn't surprising, considering they were both known for being knowledge hungry. Not that I blamed them, I was the same way when it came to things that interested me. I was just glad I could contribute to this world in a way that wasn't harmful, at all. Hopefully.

* * *

By the time we were going to camp that afternoon, the grey skies had already sprinkled some water upon us. It was a welcome change, as opposed to the dry heat from the desert. Moisture. Sweet sweet moisture. The terrain had changed since I was recovering. The barren landscape with barely any bushels of dried grass to sprout from the ground had turned into a lush green with swaying vegetation as the wind trickled by.

I stood next to the river, Dalish standing right beside me as we looked for a good place to fish. I, however, had a different idea in mind. Even though Solas had told me to take it easy, I'm sure using my bow for a little bit wouldn't hurt right?

"Are you actually going to help or are you going to get distracted like last time?" Dalish grinned over in my direction and I felt my eyebrow twitch when she waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Just what did she think happened last time?!

"I wasn't distracted! You used your magic to get the fish, it wasn't fair." I scoffed, running my hands over Riley's head. I heard him groan, putting his wet nose on my arm in response. He had trailed along this time with the promises of fresh food.

"I'm not a mage!"

"Yes, and you set those men on fire with the power of your glare alone in that last battle." I referred to our most recent fight with a couple of bandits. (Skinner and I had to stay in the cart, how wonderful)  _Horrible_  bandits, might I add. Even I could fight better than they could, at that point. Even though I had not fought in that particular battle, they'd blundered around and it was so obvious. The elf sent me an amused look, her eyes glinting with mischief. "It's alright, though. I'm going  _bow fishing."_

This seemed to give her pause.

"What?" She appeared a bit confused as I pulled out my bow, holding it up with my left arm that had a splint tied to it. The wooden bow had a thin rope tied to it in the middle, the other end on an arrow. It was crude, but it should work. Maybe.

I silently lamented over the fact that this wasn't my original bow that I'd liberated at Haven. It was one that Lavellan had gotten from the Tomb and since no one was in need of one, aside from me, she gave it to me. It was made of a type of wood, shiny metal spikes and adornments sprouted out around the grip and halfway up the curve of the bow. It was pretty badass looking. The Inquisitor had said that she scored it while they were out doing their part of the mission.

"It's a thing back where I was born. Bow fishing, that is." I explained as I walked over on a nearby rock formation so that I could get a good view from above. I stood next to the ledge and peered down into the river, seeing some small shimmering grey forms. Fish.

Riley let out a single low pitched bark from his spot beside the elf, causing me to look over at the two. The massive Mabari was, for once, wagging his tail almost excitedly. He knew I was going to feed him. I gave the dog a thumbs up, "I shall acquire some nourishment for the both of us, Riley."

He barked again, as if answering.

I couldn't help but notice the incredulous look that Dalish was giving me just then, her large grey eyes focused on my bow. She would flick her gaze between my bow to the river, waiting to see. I fired at one of the fish and missed. I cursed and tried a couple of more times before finally getting one. As the rope was getting wrapped up in my small hands, the fish flopped around on the arrow and looked as if it were about to slide off the end. I really needed to invest in hooked arrows for this.

"If it looks stupid … but it works. It's not stupid." I stated as I ripped the arrow out of the fish, throwing it on the shore next to her feet. Riley grabbed it and started to devour it right there, causing me to wince a little. Ooooh, that looked unpleasant.

"Well, that's certainly an interesting way of going about it." She stared down at the half eaten fish curiously, "I've never seen that method practiced at all, actually. Not even in dalish culture."

"Back on Earth some people use spears to do it, too." She nodded as if knowing, "Though with this method, it's usually better to have a hooked arrow of some sort."

" _Spear_  fishing is common, but you're going to have to teach me how to  _bow_  fish."

"Of course." I readied my arrow again and turned to her to offer a lopsided smirk, "I will gladly impart my knowledge to this world … so long as it is not harmful, that is."

I highly doubted people would use bow fishing as a means of world domination, so it should be safe.  _Should be..._

* * *

Cole and I were sitting on the riverbank maybe an hour later, the sky above slowly starting to darken because of an oncoming storm. It rumbled in the distance as we enjoyed our small moment of silence alone, the soft drone of conversation could be heard through the bushes and into the camp. The soft grass beneath my body tickled my arms as I lay on my back, head resting in Cole's crossed legs. He was sitting up and looking off into the distance somewhere and I simply stared up at him. His hands idly played with my rust colored waves that were splayed out messily across his lap. It was very … calm, despite what had been happening as of late. The battles and friends getting hurt along the way, that is.

I wondered what it was that he was thinking about. Was he listening for something? He seemed so … intent on whatever it was he was doing, blue eyes focused out on the trees across the river. I wanted to look, out of sheer curiosity, but didn't in favor of  _this_. I was just so comfortable.

"You."

"W-what?" I stuttered, feeling my face warm. Of course he would have heard me. How could I have forgotten? I was just so used to it by now that it didn't really cross my mind that much anymore. His gift, the way he could see  _through_  people so easily. See their true intentions.

"I'm listening to you." He clarified, gaze flicking down as he tilted his head to look at me. I felt his thumb brush along my cheek, which was likely red from my obvious blush.

Instead of huffing and looking away like usual, I locked gazes with him. Though it was hard, because of his mop of shaggy hair. I tried to move his hair aside, fingers tangling through his blonde bangs. I saw his hands come into view to grab my arm, his head turning to the side to plant a soft kiss on my wrist. I froze up at the almost uncharacteristic show of affection. Cole was usually more comfortable  _telling_  me how he felt as opposed to acting, like he did just then.

His blue gaze traveled along the under part of my arm, seeing the small scars that were scattered around haphazardly. They were done by a much younger me, a teenage me. I silently cursed, hoping he wouldn't have seen. Too late, now.

"Why would you hurt yourself?" He traced a smaller one near the middle of my forearm, his thumb firm yet gentle. "Ah. I-I see...I can hear the whispers." He could no doubt see the reasoning behind every single one and I felt myself start to fidget around, but otherwise didn't pull away. "The draw of a knife, metal on flesh … a world so muted, dulled and monotonous suddenly so vivid and real. Sharp, demanding. Everything –"

"I was stupid." I interrupted, seeing a small frown etch into his pale features. I gave him an apologetic look, "I thought that hurting myself helped, but it only made things worse."

Those scars were not exactly something that I was proud of. It was a dark time in my life that I'd much rather not think about, actually. He continued on, feather-light caresses as he trailed up closer to my elbow. The hairs on my arm rose and I got goosebumps.

My lips twitched into a smile when he traced one that sat there. I'd gotten that one when a shelf attacked me. It was so sudden! One minute I was standing in the shower, getting ready to wash up and the next the shelving unit was attacking me. It was horrifying and left me with a huge scar on my arm. It peeled me like a potato.

"This one hurt a lot." He let his finger trail across it and I chuckled, "It didn't mean to hurt you. The shelf, I mean."

"Probably not." I grabbed his hand with a small smile still sitting on my face. I brought his hand up to the top of my arm, where a few more sat. "What about these ones?"

"Pants too big. Hand-me-downs. You tripped and the horse got scared." Cole's eyes widened, "He … He.."

"Yes. He dragged me across the yard." I grinned up at him, "Luckily no one saw me, I would have never lived that down."

And it was true. I'd been wearing my cousin's old pair of pants, which were obviously way too large for little 'ol me. I was out walking the horse and happened to trip on the oversized pant leg, sending me face first into the dirt. The horse had gotten startled and began to run, with me still hanging onto the rope. I was dragged along the dirt, on my stomach, a ways before he finally realized nothing was going to hurt him. Thankfully I did not get stepped on or thrown around, only a nice mouthful of dirt and some scrapes and bruises. Apparently also some scars as a nice reminder of my blunders.

I grabbed his hand and began to fiddle around with the hand wraps around them. I was able to get one of them off so that I could see underneath and I let my small fingers run along his palm. There were small callouses, which did not surprise me. I'd felt them before, when we were laying together at night and he'd grab my arm or hold my hand.

"My hands go where the daggers need to be, sometimes it hurt. But now it doesn't." Cole explained, allowing his hand to hover far enough in front of my face as I clutched onto it. My searching brown eyes moved from his hand to his face, his expression. I didn't know why, but he had this crooked smile on his face and it was almost … heart-stopping.

"Y-You should smile more often, it … looks good on you." I blurted before I lost the courage to do so. Though I'd meant for it to come out loud enough for him to hear, it was more like a murmur. He'd likely have heard me anyway, since he was usually acutely aware of me when we got this close. Especially when we were alone, because that's the only time I allowed myself to relax and be who I really was.

" _'His smile lit up his face and it was … beautiful.'_  Yes, you've mentioned it before." Cole leaned forward, his face much closer to mine. My heart fluttered and my hands found their way into his hair on each side of his face. I had, hadn't I? Maybe not out loud, but this was way before I'd even realized my feelings for him. How long had I gone, harboring feelings for him and not realizing it? I really could be oblivious sometimes. He was focusing intently, I could tell. "D-Does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?" I mumbled distractedly. My fingers curled gently around some of his shaggy hair, which rustled as the wind shifted. The sky rumbled but neither of us seemed to pay attention. Too fixated on one another, both unaware of the tender devotion that lit up our expressions. A single look seemed to convey everything in that moment. 

"Loving someone. Does it hurt? When the water is clear like this when the ripples are bigger, I can see glimpses. I want to hit them … the people that hurt you. They were supposed to protect you and keep you safe." Cole spoke in a low tone, eyes half lidded. "It hurt to love them – yet you did, anyway."

Ah, my lovely family back on Earth.

"It can, but  _this_  doesn't." One of my arms fell at my side as the other continued to play with a few strands of his hair. "When you love someone you give them the ability to hurt you, but trust them not to."

It was a warning of sorts, I suppose. Though I doubted he would trust someone so readily, either. He'd gone through his fair share of pain and loss, if what he'd told me was anything to go by.

"That is why you don't trust people … why love scares you." Cole whispered sadly and I nodded.

"I wouldn't do that to you, ever." I looked into his eyes, trying to convey how serious I was. Because I wouldn't. I never would. That's the kind of thing I would never wish on anyone else. Nonetheless even do it to someone I cared so deeply about? It didn't take him long to reply,

"I trust you."

"I trust you, too."

To be able to trust someone so implicitly without fear was hard to come by. That's when I realized, aside from my siblings, he was one of the people I trusted most in my life.

* * *

When we got back to camp maybe a half an hour later, a fire had been built. Everyone was settling down for the night, discussing who would have what shift for watch. Iron Bull and Lynn were huddled closely, holding small stacks of parchment as they went over some stuff. There were a few things sitting aside near the elf's pack, as if they'd already been gone through them.

Bull didn't look too happy, his face showing his displeasure as he read through something that Lavellan had handed him.

"This isn't lookin too good, Boss." The Qunari grunted as he flicked his single eye toward the small elf at his side. She let out a drawn out exhale through her nose in response.

"No … no it isn't." Lavellan sounded almost frustrated as she pressed her delicate fingers against her temples.

"What's wrong?" I asked curiously, causing the Inquisitor to snap her attention in my direction. A familiar emotion I'd seen on others suddenly flashed across her face before it was gone. Pity. I scowled, "It couldn't be that bad, could it?"

"Orders from Calpernia state that the Venatori were searching the Hissing Wastes to locate something of great value to their cause. Excavating dwarven relics to be replicated." She nodded as she stared down at the letter, flipping over to another one as a frown creased on her usually bright face.

"That's not all, though." I stated blandly, feeling apprehension creep up as I waited for her to elaborate. Explain why she had looked at me like that. It was an uneasy feeling and I did not like it.

"They spotted us nearby, since we aren't exactly … discreet in our travels. It was reported that there was a very powerful woman among us that was to be brought back alive to Calpernia for study. A mage, specifically."

"That's all that is in there? No other hints as to what they could want from me? Why me, of all people? I'm just … I'm just one woman." It was baffling, really. It didn't seem to make sense at all. I added in a nervous tone, "What are the chances they're talking about someone else?"

"As far as I know, we don't have any female mages in our group." Her eyes slowly flicked to Dalish who smiled at her.  _She_  was a mage, but didn't like anyone outright saying it.

"What about Dorian? He preens as much as a woman." I suggested, trying to throw a little humor in our conversation to ease off my nerves.

"My my, is someone jealous?" Dorian sounded amused, obviously having been within hearing distance of my jibe.

"The only thing I'm jealous of is your ability to light someone on fire with the snap of your fingers." I answered honestly. The humor didn't seem to help at all and I still felt like shit. Varric was better at lightening situations with humor than I. Well crap.

"Evidently you did not eliminate all of the Venatori that time they took you. One slipped away, reported it –" Lavellan shrugged almost nonchalantly, her one hand holding a stack of paper and the other completely free. She focused her grey eyes toward me, "–and now they think you're a mage from another world."

"This couldn't possibly get any worse." I mumbled under my breath, watching as Inquisitor Lavellan continued to skim over a few things from the parchment in her hands. The tan paper was worn out and ripping on the edges. "I _am_  from another world, so they've got  _that_  right. Neither Angel, nor I, are a mage. We don't even have those back on Earth."

It didn't slip by my attention how Lavellan seemed to pause in her reading before hesitantly flicking her gaze in my direction. I stared down at her curiously, wondering why she was giving me that look.

"You don't think it to be a remote possibility that mages exist in your world,  _at all?"_  The wavy haired elf questioned in a slow and cautious tone, making me raise a brow. I crossed my arms and shifted on the ground where I had sat down during out conversation. Lavellan and Bull were seated next to one another, Solas lingering somewhere at my left.

"It is unheard of. I'm not even sure if the Fade exists there, to be completely honest." I blinked slowly, turning to look at the fire as it flickered and warmed up my legs from where I sat. I idly began to clasp at the grass beneath my hands, feeling almost nervous.

"A place where the Fade doesn't exist? That's impossible." Solas spoke up, obviously having been listening in on our little conversation. "Perhaps your people have not yet discovered it, or have forgotten it over time."

"It's  _possible_ , I suppose. But I'm pretty certain there are no mages, otherwise there would be much attention set upon them. Not the good kind, either." I looked down at my chipped nails and picked at them with a passive look on my face, "Though there may have been dwarves and elves at some point, since there have been stories about them circulating for ages."

"Even a story may hold some semblance of a truth." The hobo mage answered as he set his wood staff aside next to his body. He'd turned to look over at me and I tilted my head in question, "Have you ever entertained the idea that mages existed, but have grown adept at hiding?"

What was he on about?

"I can't say the thought ever crossed my mind, no." I squinted as I answered, thinking about how I'd have thought that mages being real to be an absurd idea. That is, until I arrived here. "Things like that are said to be from storybooks for entertainment. If you believe in magic, you're shunned and called crazy."

"So you are afraid of ridicule."

"I've already had that happen, so no." I scrunched my brows, feeling confused again. "You do that creepy thing where you're in our dreams – have you come across something to support your theory?"

"I may have." Was his vague answer and I stared at him, trying to see through his little wall. Solas has always been a guarded man, I knew that. I was the same way, so it never really bothered me much. He perhaps even knew something about me that I didn't know.

Dreams could expose a lot of things about someone, shedding light where one would much rather there not be light. He knew things about my world, or me, that I didn't. The fact that he might know something about my world that I did not, however, kind of irked me. Especially since it seemed he wasn't going to tell me a thing about it.

"Ah, I see." I stared at him blankly, "Well … I know a lot of things about this world and its inhabitants, too. Unfortunately I did not finish the story that included the companions here currently, so I know nothing of you. A bit unfair, you think?"

"Nothing?"

"Aside from Varric, that is." I sighed, "He was in the last story that took place in Kirkwall."

I turned to look at the dwarf in question, who was busy talking to Cole quietly on the other side of the fire. The two of them were so adorable. Like father and son. I smiled softly, only to squash it down and turn away to look at Solas with a scowl. The elf seemed a bit perturbed but didn't comment otherwise. I idly wondered where Lavellan scurried off to. It was almost like she was waiting for the opportunity to slip away from me so that I didn't question her. Damn woman.

"You said you started, but didn't complete it. How much do you know?"

"Only as far as the battle at Adamant Fortress, I'm afraid." I sighed, twirling a lock of hair nervously. "If I had said anything about the battle, it would have drastically altered the time line that I knew and more people could have died as a result."

"Ah, it sounded like I was placing blame. It was not my intention." Solas' hands were clasped in front of his body as he tilted his head over at me, "Your reluctance to provide such information makes sense. You had sound reasoning."

"Err... thanks, I think."

Why was he even speaking to me in the first place? I knew that he was rather curious and liked to learn new things, but … the amount of civility in our conversation just then was starting to rub me the wrong way. Perhaps I should say something offensive to get him to back off? That could work.

As for what I knew. He didn't have to know that I'd looked at Cole and Cassandra's profiles to learn more about them. They'd become my favorites rather quickly. Cassandra was a strong woman and I remembered watching a movie about her, actually. She was a badass. A badass that I was still afraid to talk to, because what if she shoved her sword up my ass for saying the wrong thing?

And Cole – well, even before I met him I thought he was kind of adorable. But with him being a spirit, I couldn't help but make sure he wouldn't somehow actually turn on the Inquisitor later on in the game. As it seemed, no he would not. Partially why I knew I could trust him, I suppose. With what happened to Anders in Dragon Age II, I didn't want to have to go through  _that_  surprise again. At least I'd be prepared. I didn't have to, though.

Thankfully no one else seemed to be even listening to our little talk as we sat silently in front of the fire. I would, no doubt, get bombarded with questions as to why I didn't speak up and tell them. And risk the possibility of changing the flow of events? Granted I probably already have, at this point. But a crucial time such as the battle at Adamant? I could have ended up getting them killed, or worse. The only reason I hopped up to help at Haven was because I knew that my help wouldn't have drastically effected anything to the point of having more people die.

I knew that Solas would, at the very least, understand that. Especially since he did not say a thing after I answered his question. Though one thing was still bothering me...

"Solas."

"Yes?"

"You're an asshat." I heard him let out a long drawn out sigh, as quiet as it was. "Sorry, the conversation was too civil for my liking. I had to fix it."

Everyone was conversing between one another amiably as I simply sat there and listened silently. There had been a low rumbling in the distance and from our place underneath the rock formation, I at least knew that we'd stay relatively dry. Our tents were set up right next to a cliffside underneath said archway, providing a small amount of shelter. Soon enough, small droplets of rain started to fall from the sky. Drizzle at first, then a complete downpour. Even from their spots on the ground near the fire, they were getting wet.

I stood up and walked over near the edge, where a large stream of water was already pouring down. It trickled by and I stuck my hand underneath it, feeling the cool rainwater as it slipped through my small fingers. It was rather refreshing, actually. To inhale the moisture in the air and just … listen to the rain falling.

"Well, I don't feel like getting wet so I'm gonna head in. Ya alright over there, Screech?" Varric called, probably seeing me standing out by the edge as I still held my hand underneath a small stream of water that fell from above. The sky was a dark grey, since it was late evening, and the rain felt nice. Since we were in a warmer climate, I knew that I wouldn't end up freezing my ass off and getting sick. Theoretically.

"Fine." I mumbled, not knowing if the dwarf even heard me. He didn't say anything otherwise and simply walked into his respective tent to keep dry.

**Third Person**

Cole stared at Lyn as she stared out into the stream with an almost despondent look on her face, water running over her hand and trickling down her arm to drip off of her elbow. Pieces of her armor lay forgotten near the entrance of their tent, though she was still wearing her chest piece and jacket. Her brown eyes trailed up at the sky and he found himself looking, too.

Flicks of white and purple lit up the clouds, lighting up the ground even more for the briefest of moments. Lightning. Soon to be followed by rolling thunder as it cracked and rumbled above. By the time the blonde rogue looked back down for the otherworlder, she was standing out in the rain and getting wet.

The rogue approached her cautiously, his hat shielding him from much of the downpour. Upon closer inspection, Lyn had already begun to feel better. Nature seemed to have that effect on her and a few of the others in the group.

"Adan said that people get sick when they get cold.  _The rain_  will make you cold." He frowned as he placed his hat atop her head to shield her from the offending particles of water. The substance started to slowly weigh down his blonde locks as they plastered themselves to the sides of his face. Cole did not like the idea of her getting sick or hurt in any way.

"What about you?" She asked curiously, remembering the time that he'd gotten sick because of his infection. It was possible for him to fall ill, now that he was more human. Lyn's hand came up to tilt his hat, which was now atop her head, so that she could see him better. The rain dripped off the edges of the leather and he could tell that it was way too big on her as brown eyes blinked up at him. The sight caused something to tug in his chest. She looked really cute. "The rain feels good. It's been awhile since I felt it like this."

He looked out at the clouds, seeing flicks and flashes of lightning in the distance. Even though she did not speak, he could tell that underneath it all. The lingering feeling that seemed to always be there ever since they'd met. Fear. Lyn was always scared, but tried to cover it up with snappy comebacks and humor. She was scared, but didn't let it hinder her growth in any way. If anything, she tried to use it to move forward. To find her resolve.

"I'm scared." She admitted quietly and he turned to look at her. He was scared, too. Cole was even newer to things like this. New rules, new world. It was something they both could relate to one another about. Though, he knew she was talking about what she'd most recently learned. It had brought out her fear even more at the prospect that Corypheus might know about her and want to use her. For what?

"I know." Cole's voice came out quietly and he remembered a time when he'd been afraid, too. What had she said to him? "You're not alone. You told me this before and it helped. Does it help you, too? Knowing that there are others, friends, people that care?"

"It does, thank you." Lyn spoke in a strained tone before clearing her throat and crossing her arms. "A year ago, I would have never thought that I'd have friends. People that care. It is odd. Despite how dangerous this world is, I've found what I never found back on Earth."

"Companionship, a place to call home. A place where you belong." Was his response. They were both trying to find their place in this world, it seemed.

"Do you feel it, too?"

"Yes." The rogue admitted, "I was afraid, before. Afraid of getting hurt, shunned, betrayed."

Cole saw how eager she was for companionship, even after she'd gotten hurt and thrown aside. Betrayed, many times over again. Seeing her so determined to change had caused something in him to latch onto it. The small light. Hope. It was their first talk in the barn loft, it had been about how much it hurt to be left behind that made him want to protect her. Protect that little light. The little flame.

"It's  _okay_  to be afraid. You have every right to be afraid of feeling that again." Lyn muttered her cold hand coming up to clasp his.

They fell into silence, watching the clouds billow around in the sky. Thunder rolled in the distance, causing her to sigh and speak softly. "Perhaps we should retreat inside of the tent."

Thankfully they were positioned underneath a small archway created by a rock formation. It kept their tents mostly dry and the fire from getting completely snuffed out. It was something.

On their way back into a dryer area, Cole noticed that Solas was the one on first watch as he stared blankly into the fire. He had, no doubt, heard their small conversation since they hadn't really been that far away. Once inside, Lyn began to unclasp her armor and drop it on the tent floor. Later, when it wasn't raining so hard, they'd likely set it near the fire to dry. The rogue tilted his head, a thought passing through his mind.

"You've always looked at me differently." He stated, fiddling with his own armor. The woman didn't pause in her work or even look over at him but she sounded curious.

"How so?"

"You saw me for me, not how … not what everyone else sees when they look."

"Our past lets us grow and learn. It doesn't define us." She paused in her shuffling around, her face scrunching minutely. "Not completely, anyway. It's how we choose to live that does. If anything, at least remember that."

Yes. He chose to be the way he was and wanted to change. Cole never wanted to become what he was before, someone that hurt people. He knew now, because of a conversation awhile back with Blackwall, that remembering what he did helped him be him. If he forgot those things, what if he ended up doing it again?

"Remembering is what makes me who I am." He nodded as if knowing, setting his damp armor off to the side next to hers. "If I could wash clean, it would take that away. The growth, the wanting and needing things. Remembering helps me be me. But … You also help me be me. I-I don't know what  _that_  means."

"The people we hold dear often anchor us to this world, allowing us to better find our place." She smiled, just now realizing it herself. "It is a wonderful feeling."

"Yes … it is."

**First Person**

I was getting settled in my bedroll, legs curled up underneath warm blankets as I sat next to Cole. He went oddly quiet for awhile there. The rogue stared idly down at the bottom of the tent, the sound of the rain hitting the ground outside was usually enough to lull me into a sleep. It always did.

"The rain's gentle tap tap tap on the tent, ground, water – like the beating of a heart. It is clear, crisp, refreshing. It washes away yesterday's sorrow and gives hope for tomorrow." Cole paused, hands picking at the bottom of the tent underneath the bedroll. "The plants and animals like it because it brings comfort and happiness. You are like the rain."

"I ah … I see." There was really no other way to describe my reaction to his words other than bafflement.

"It just is."

"I cannot offer pretty words to describe how I feel." I mumbled disdainfully, feeling a little inadequate.

"You don't have to, I can hear you just fine." He turned and smiled softly at me, gently placing the tips of his fingers on the middle of my chest. I felt it warm in response and I saw his blue eyes light up. Yes, he could … couldn't he?

* * *

The next few days were almost a blur as we made our trek back to Skyhold. I'd have thought that we would make our way through Emprise du Lion, since we went through there on our way to the Hissing Wastes. But it seemed not. I swear to God, I was going to develop callouses on my ass because of the hard saddles on the horses. Perhaps I should custom order a softer seat? Nah, that would probably hinder my riding somehow. I'm guessing …

So, whenever we slowed down to a comfortable pace for both people and horses I would hop off and stretch my legs as we ambled along a preset path. There were a few instances when we'd run into a highwayman or bandit along the road, but other than that it was rather uneventful. Funny thing, a guy tried to rob us but once he got a good look at Iron Bull … he'd gone pale and simply ran away. Krem had been cracking jokes for hours after that. It was amusing.

I will tell you one thing, however. I will never stand out in the rain again in my leather armor. Granted I had taken off my vambraces and small pieces and set them next to my tent those nights ago. My dumb ass had kept the jacket on, though. I was stuck walking around the next day in damp and uncomfortable leather armor. Not a fun way to spend the day.

As we walked at a comfortable pace, I found my mind drifting off into thought about my conversations with Solas. No, I'd had enough time to think about his infuriating way of keeping secrets from me. It seemed he was adept at keeping those, which kind of made me suspicious. He was able to do it with such ease.

On the other hand, I was wondering if we'd always be at eachothers throats for my immature and asshole-ish behavior all those months back. Granted I was the one that kept on picking at him whenever we had a moment of civility, but the elf seemed to grate on my nerves. Perhaps it was because he acted like someone I disliked back home? Smart and seemed to know quite a bit, and knew it. He flaunted his intelligence and, whether he acknowledged it or not, he kind of looked down on people.

Or maybe it was just Sera and I, because we both kind of picked on him.

Probably.

I sighed, feeling my shoulders slump as we walked along. Maybe I could have handled things with the hobo-elf a lot better. Then again, we probably would have found something other than my relationship with Cole to bicker and disagree about. It was just that I felt so strongly about the subject that I'd reacted the way I did. Any other time I wouldn't have cared.

I'd long gotten over being scared of Solas' words being true, because Cole has felt and experienced many strong things since his becoming more human. If he were to twist into something, he would have already. He was like this odd human/spirit hybrid, now that I sat down and actually thought about it. He got the positives and negatives of both sides, but there was still that small sliver of a possibility.

A stray thought seemed to flicker through my mind, just then. What if? Obviously Solas was afraid of what would happen when things between the two of us got more intimate and I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried, too. Solas was, after all, well versed in anything that pertained to the Fade. And Cole was, when it all came down to it,  _from_  the Fade.

I mean, if he got incredibly furious about something would he twist into a rage demon? Or if he lost his purpose, obviously there was the despair demon. When a spirit in our world 'twists' into whatever thing is 'corrupting' them, what do they become? Or was it into the opposite aspects of their nature? Such as what had happened to Justice in Dragon Age II? But Cole wasn't inhabiting someone else's body … technically speaking he didn't have a 'host' to corrupt him. He's an odd case. He had someone else's body, but he didn't at the same time. I wouldn't know, because this shit wasn't my specialty. But that brought the question –

A spirit +  _those_  emotions = ?

I don't think I ever remember seeing a male desire demon in the games, to be honest. If there was one, I didn't remember. Oh, but the female ones were pretty damn attractive and – an image of Cole in desire demon garb suddenly popped into my head. My brown eyes widened behind my mess of wavy hair as I stared at the path in front of me.

No no  _no_. Don't think about  _that!_  It's – wrong. Well, maybe not  _wrong_. It's only natural to be curious, right? I mean. No. That's – what would it even look like? Nipple tassels and ass-less chaps? The image presented before me at that moment caused an abrupt and incredibly loud snort to pass through my nostrils. It kind of hurt.

Fuck.

"Oh … hey ya feelin alrigh'?" I heard Sera ask as she stared over at me oddly. I nodded, feeling something warm dribbling down from my nose.

"Hyy-eeaah, Fi-ine." I forced out in a strained tone, trying my hardest not to let it show how I actually felt at that moment. The blonde elf looked skeptical as she strode beside me, slowly moving closer to look.

"Ya sure? 'Cause yer bleedin from the nose." She pointed a bony finger up at my face as she cocked her head to the side, one eye opening wider than the other as she examined me suspiciously. "Usually a sign of  _not-okay-ness."_

I shrugged and began to wipe at the under part of my nose. My snort must have been pretty bad if it'd caused me to get a nosebleed. Huh.

Good thing that Cole wasn't around, because that would be awkward as hell to explain. Explain why I was imagining him in nipple tassels and ass-less chaps, that is. Well, he'd probably know, but even then. I sighed as I peered back and forth, trying to look around inconspicuously. It only served to make me look even more suspicious, however. I was clear. All good. My body loosened and I dug around in my pocket for a handkerchief to use.

When I was done, I turned to Sera and was going to ask her something but she was already looking in my direction with disdain clear on her features. I tilted my head questioningly and my brain slowly clicked and my face paled. I turned to my right and came face to face with the one person I was wishing wasn't around just then. I had literally just looked over there, how had he appeared?! Not to be mean or anything, it's just …

"Oh I ahhh … uhhh … Hello, Cole." My voice came out shaky and his big blue eyes didn't leave mine as he seemingly bored a hole through my skull. Maybe he didn't hear/see any of that? His eyes lowered and his hands came up to his chest, presumably where his nipples were, and poked himself curiously. As if he were imagining ….

Ah. It was wishful thinking that he wouldn't have known, of course he would.

"I-It's not..." I tried to defend, not being able to come up with anything at all. A pointless endeavor, since he could see right through me anyway.

"But Lyn, if I turned into a demon you'd have to kill me." Cole spoke very seriously, his gaze slowly sliding up to meet mine.

"The p-probability of you turning into a demon is low. S-Since you've changed, that is." I tried to reassure, holding my hands up as if to placate him. My feet crunched on the ground as we made our trek back to Skyhold. The air was slowly starting to get colder and thankfully my armor had long since dried from being soaked during the rain storm days back. "If it was going to happen it already would have by now, don't you think?"

Besides, humans dressed like that all the time. Sometimes even tied each other to the bed posts during their little … adventures. One did not have to become a demon to want to do such things – wait why the hell was I even pondering this in the first place?!

Cole nodded in understanding, "Sometimes The Iron Bull ties Dorian up to the bed posts."

"I didn't need to know that." Was my flat and almost instantaneous reply.

"Ew, that's frigging – Bull you freak!" Sera yelled and her voice echoed through the air. Though I knew she was being playful, I heard a few people shift to look at the loud elf questioningly. Obviously not having heard Cole's comment. Thank God. She didn't  _actually_  think that Bull was a freak. It was an odd friend thing, to poke fun at one another. Something I was quickly becoming familiar with. Some of the party members were atop their horses as we made our way slowly down the path.

"You act as if you and the Inquisitor don't do the same thing." I griped, crossing my arms as I squinted in her direction.

"What? She has tension and I get it  _gone_." The loud elf defended with a lopsided smirk before adding, "Too much? Too much."

I pressed my fingers on my temples and rubbed them, wondering what I'd need to say to get her to stop. She took my silence as an 'okay' to continue.

"We're both bony so it's like clackety-clackety-clack." Sera giggled in her evil way before she looked over at Cole, who was walking at my side watching us silently, and back to me. "Speaking of, does  _it_  even have the banging bits? Or do you guys just-"

"Sera, no." I interrupted and her face morphed into incredulity, as if she were appalled by what I'd said.

"It  _doesn't?_  That's a shame. For you, I mean." Or  _that_.

"That's  _not_  what I meant!" God damn infuriating elf! My mind immediately drifted to the time he was talking about his awkward morning wood and I felt my face nearly burn itself off.

I was going to be permanently stained red, if conversations like this continued.


	31. Divulge

The last day away from home was very painful, due to the fact that I'd overworked myself when it came to having the wounds I did. Apparently hopping right into bow fishing every night for the camp was a bad idea. Don't blame me, we were following this river and I couldn't help myself. I'd gotten quite the talking to by Stitches, the old man scolded me like I was some child that needed reprimanding.

Who knows? Maybe I was.

I sighed, the horse's hooves crunching and thudding in the snow as we made our way to Skyhold. Every bump and jerk that was made made my whole body ache and I couldn't wait until we finally got back to the fortress. My torso was still an ugly yellowish color from my ribs getting bruised and cracked. Fortunately I hadn't broken any during the fight almost a half a week ago. Funny how resilient the human body was. Not to mention my forearm was still in a splint and I had to see Kerrah, an experienced mage healer, when I got back.

Fun times. Everyone else seemed just as eager to get back as I and as soon as Skyhold came into view in the distance, the banter started up again. Sera, in particular, was quite loud about the fact that she really needed to wind down and have some alcohol. Inquisitor Lavellan promised the blonde elf that she'd join her for a round of drinks after she was done briefing her advisors about the details of the mission.

I did not envy that woman's life. All of the responsibility and even the fate of the world itself weighed down on her every day, no doubt. But Lynn kept her head high with a warm smile on her face. I knew she was a very kind woman and strove to make the world better, which was why I didn't have much of a problem following behind her. It's a good thing  _she_  was the one that got the anchor and not some asshole.

It was probably that way for most of the others, as well. Following her, that is. Seeing as how she was pretty much friends with everyone. That was not all. Underneath all of that professionalism, she was quite the prankster. No one would ever expect such an innocent elf such as her would be one to pull pranks on the people of Skyhold, right? I had always wondered how Sera was able to get some of the things she did for her pranks and it even took  _me_ awhile to realize Lynn had been helping her.

It was all mostly playful fun, though. Nothing ever too serious. Irritate someone? Hell yeah. Injure them? Off limits. The distraction was often needed after stressful days doing paperwork on her part, anyway. Not to mention it helped lighten the mood and kept stress levels down, for those  _not_  getting pranked.

For the most part, I remained silent as I strode beside everyone. As per usual, that is. Everyone else had their own conversations going and it didn't surprise me to find myself somewhere at the back simply observing them from atop my horse. It didn't bother me as much as it would another person and I'm sure most would feel left out. But I enjoyed it, nonetheless. It was an odd feeling, to feel happy for those around you.

They were alive and so was I. Normally I'd be in a haze of indifference to the world, simply staring ahead without a thought for those around me. Before, it was like I hadn't cared much for people. Though I did. I was simply more concerned about my own welfare than that of others. It changed when I sought to change myself, especially after finding people I actually cared about. Friends. Family.

Family was not always bound by blood, but by the bonds formed with those around you. It was an interesting thought, I realized as I unstrapped the saddle from my horse from my spot in the stables. The low hum of quiet conversation greeted my ears, a few men milling about getting some of the stalls ready for the mounts.

As usual, yet again, I was left behind with the other stablehands to finish the work of taking the tack off the horses and getting them groomed and put in their respective stalls. Most would think the smell of hay and horse that came with working in the barn to be repugnant – but I found it welcoming. I lived and worked down here, after all. That and it gave me pleasant childhood memories, which was a rare commodity.

Once I was finished and locking up the stall with a soft  _'click'_ , Skittles munching on her meal contentedly, I turned and saw Riley sitting patiently not far away. A few of the people I worked with would skitter around him, gawking as they went. He was sitting on his back legs, tongue lolling out as he tilted his head curiously.

"Ah, I almost forgot you." I almost laughed at how his head bowed almost sadly at my statement and I waved him off. "Just kidding, I have some other furry friends to introduce you to."

The brown Mabari grunted and stood up to follow me as I ambled out of the stables and into the worn out barn. The light in the evening sky shot through the huge entrance door and I heard the soft clacks of Blackwall working on some wooden sculpture. The smell of feed and wood shavings wafted into my nose as I made my way across the first floor. The two of us didn't even really acknowledge one another as I strode by and clomped up the aged staircase. It was such a norm now, that we simply slipped by one another thoughtlessly.

"They aren't snacks, so don't you dare think about eating them. Got it?" I stated firmly as I stopped at the top of the staircase. Riley groaned and walked by me, not even sparing me a glance. They said that Mabari's were intelligent enough to understand language, right? A small flit of nervousness fluttered around in my stomach as I watched the massive dog amble over toward where the kittens usually slept in the loft.

I heard a couple of hisses and the sound of scrambling as a couple of the furballs took off toward where my makeshift bed lay. The black one arched it's back, fur standing on end as it stared undauntedly up at the huge Mabari. It pawed at the air when Riley brought his nose closer to take a sniff.

It was like a little standoff was taking place, the black kitten refusing to remove it's green gaze from the warhound. As if on cue, Riley huffed and sent spittle flying at the small animal. This sent the cat scrambling across the loft beside his siblings.

"You're such a bully."

I heard the sounds of soft foot falls pitter pattering up the stairs just behind me and I snapped my attention in that direction. People hardly came up here, since I was usually the one to fetch any hay or feed stored up here anyway. And the person that usually visited didn't even make noise. As if sensing my slight distress, Riley let out a low growl and I was met with the sight of a scout standing atop the staircase. His face went from blank and bored to white as a sheet as he stared at the massive hound behind me.

"A-Ah … Oh. Uhh." His voice was higher pitched and he appeared to be rather young, now that I got a closer look. Probably a recruit. "L-Lady In-Inquisitor wanted to s-see you."

So he was a messenger. Heh.

"Where is she?" I strode up to his rigid form and shuffled by to walk down the stairs.

"Lady Montilyet's office, Ma'am."

"Understood." I was at the bottom of the staircase when I called up jokingly, "No eating the recruits, Riley. You got sick last time."

I heard the young man let out a squeak and the Mabari let out a whine.

I made my way slowly through the main hall of Skyhold fortress, servants scuttling about their own business. Angel appeared to be in heavy conversation with a few people who I didn't even recognize. I'd have waved in greeting, but they were so absorbed in what they were doing that they didn't notice anyone else in the room.

The sun shot through the stained panes of glass just behind the Inquisitor's throne. Without even thinking, I grabbed the door to Josephine's office and opened it up to walk in. Lavellan and her three advisors were gathered around in a circle speaking softly about some breach in security when I entered and they paid me no heed.

Too engrossed in their debate on what to do, I'd presume. I stood awkwardly near the door frame and watched as the light from the fireplace seemed to dance across their faces as they spoke. My head tilted to the side and I started to observe the rest of the room carefully.

They were standing atop an oval shaped rug, plush intricately designed chairs positioned on each end. For once Josephine was not sitting in her desk, rather she was standing next to the other three with her clipboard in her arm. The thing seemed to be permanently attached to her forearm wherever she went. Cullen was standing, posture straight with a regal air as he had his hands planted on the hilt of his sword. His face was set in grim determination as I heard him state,

"I must apologize, Inquisitor. It won't happen again."

"Oh. We can't be so sure, Cullen. Don't beat yourself up about it, we'll just be more careful next time." Lynn reasoned in a soft tone, her hands held up to placate the man. "Take it as a learning experience. We are bound to stumble at some point, yes?"

"This is the  _third_  breach in security since we've arrived at Skyhold, you-"

"Cullen." Lavellan interrupted, getting a sigh out of the blonde Commander.

"I'll be in my office if you need me."

Cullen turned around and walked in my direction. I skittered off to the side to allow him access to the door. The man didn't once glance at me as he walked by, feet clunking on the stone floor as the door shut behind him.

"Eh." I let out a sound and stared at the other three awkwardly. "Troubles?"

"Nothing to concern yourself with." Lavellan waved me off, trying to reassure me. I gave her a look before slowly making my way in their direction. Fair enough.

"I was told that you wanted to speak with me, but … I probably should have waited outside of the door. Apologies."

"You are a very lucky woman, if I do say so myself. You will be attending the Ball with a select few people alongside the Inquisitor." Josephine piped in as she flipped through some papers on her clipboard before pulling one out of the stack. Lavellan grabbed it and skimmed it over, probably having already read it beforehand. They were quite proficient at switching from one subject to another, I noticed. The thought itself gave me a headache. How could the Inquisitor deal with this on a daily basis?

"Gaspard invited Inquisitor Lavellan as a guest to come to Empress Celene's ball. But that was not all." The Ambassador smiled, "As a special request, he asked for you by name."

What in the hell would Gaspard want with me? I didn't even know the hell that was.

"Oh joyous me, what does the man want in return?" I wondered aloud, arms crossing as I tapped my finger on my elbow. To be honest, I was thinking of how I'd be able to get out of even going to the Ball. Sera had idly commented about potentially messing with some nobles during the damn thing, but I hadn't even thought of the idea that I might be going.

"Your contributions to the clothing market has grown popular by the day. Cargo pants are a hit with the working class and your bra designs are loved by women of all classes." Josephine bowed her head slightly as she elaborated for me, an ever present smile on her face.

From the apprehensive look on Lavellan's face, that wasn't all. I stared at them expectantly and Leliana stepped forth to be the bearer of bad news. Not that I minded. A little bluntness would have helped, at that point, anyway.

"Word has spread recently of an accomplished mage from another world." The Spymaster repeated a fact that I already knew. Well, I knew the Venatori knew but –  _they_  did too?! "Gaspard's request is a result of his believing you work directly for the Inquisitor herself. A personal guard, of sorts. At least he is half right."

"What I would like to know is who is spreading lies." I burst, looking at her accusingly. Either it was her or the Venatori that started to spread that shit around. The fact that anyone else knew made me want to curl up under a rock. That kind of information being spread so freely was a recipe for disaster. "Was it you?"

Leliana visibly bristled, "What would I have to gain by spreading such rumors?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

Lavellan interfered before the two of us got into an argument. "Enough! Lyn, you know just as well as I do that it was probably the Venatori."

"B-But I don't want anyone to think I am a mage!" I began to pace, words coming out rushed and high pitched. Hysterical, almost. "The Ben-Hassrath are really going to kill me, now. I'm dangerous to them. In their eyes, don't they fear mages most of all?"

"They've already tried three times, what's a forth?" Lavellan tried to encourage and I paused, mentally counting how many times I was attacked and ticking them off with my fingers. Only two. Bullshit.

"Three? I only counted two!"

It was her turn to pause as she suddenly looked sheepish.

"Oh … oops. I forgot to inform you that we ended up capturing a spy awhile ago. He killed himself before we could get anything out of him, though." The elf's arms came up as she shrugged nonchalantly and I felt my eye twitch. That woman...

"It would have been nice to know about my potential demise, thanks." I stated in a rather scathing tone.

"I will have my scouts look into it and see if we could gather some information about who has been spreading these rumors." Leliana put in, all signs that we'd been about to get into a fight just moments ago gone from her face. The rogue was back to being all business.

"I'll see what the latest gossip is with the nobles in Val Royeaux, perhaps there is something to be learned." Josephine added right afterward, jotting a few things down as she spoke. The scritch-scratch of the quill on parchment filled the air for a few moments before the Inquisitor continued.

"That sounds good! I have some things that I need to discuss with Madame Vivienne, so I'll take my leave." Lavellan nodded with a kind smile on her face before striding out the door. It kind of bothered me that something seemed a bit off about the conversation we'd just had. I mean, what they said didn't bother me. It was … what they didn't say. It felt like there was something there that I was missing that they didn't want me to know.

Just a gut feeling. Sometimes my 'gut feeling' was wrong, sometimes it was right. I was about to leave before Josephine ended up stopping me and begun to rattle off a few things about profits and benefits for the Inquisition. When it didn't look like I really understood, nor really cared, she laughed almost nervously before grabbing a piece of parchment from her desk.

"It's about your contributions to the market."

"What kind of progress have they made? I'd like to purchase some, if that would be alright." I sighed, realizing that I was long overdue for some new bras anyway. It was a hope of mine that they would be able to at least replicate it somehow instead of me wearing some awkward wrap that itched my chest. It was irritating.

"Panties are made out of a certain more pliable material for extra comfort. Bras were exceedingly difficult to replicate, but it was done. The wiring and clasps proved to be a challenging hurdle." The woman explained as she took a seat in her chair, pushing herself closer to the wooden desk. "Lower quality use belt-like strappings and come in a variety of different sizes. Since we had a sample from you, as well as your sister."

Ah, right. Angel was … less endowed, than I was. Though I wasn't bragging, having bigger breasts proved to be a burden at times. It was also annoying when I tried to wear tank tops on hotter days, they liked to pop out to say 'Hello'. Cleavage was just not something that I liked to flaunt because it caused more problems than I'd like to admit. Most women would kill to have them and that's fine, I just didn't like the attention they seemed to come with. Which was primarily why I wore baggy clothing.

I'd zoned out while the Ambassador was talking and slowly refocused, hearing her talk about how the cargo pants were a hit with the working class men. Something she reiterated from earlier.

"They're comfortable, too." I nodded knowingly.

As it seemed, a certain percentage of the profits would go to the Inquisition and part had been set aside for me. A small portion, but it had been unexpected. I wasn't really one to care for money, since I already had a place here that payed me decently, but was thankful nonetheless. I could use it to potentially get some better armor, since my last set was pretty mangled from our mission in the Hissing Wastes.

* * *

It had been a very long and irritating week, waiting for word back from them as they continued on with their business. I did, too. Most of my time was spent working in the stables and the evenings were filled with some training. Sera still taught me things that I did not know. Things like learning how to throw throwing knives, which I still sucked at by the way. I was getting more and more fidgety by the day as I waited.

"Yer doin' it wrong again!" Sera groaned impatiently as I looped the rope around itself and stared up at her. She was trying to teach me how to make a trap for other people. It surprised me, at first, since it had some pretty complex mechanics that went with it. Such as the rope going up in the tree and it having a trigger so that when they stepped into the loop it hooked around their legs and left them dangling from a branch.

I still couldn't get it. But Sera could, and it was a massive blow to my ego. I squinted my brown eyes up at her, the evening sun getting in my eyes and making it hard to see her. Sera had her hands on her hips as she pouted down at me.

"I'm sorry, sometimes these things take time." I sighed and her expression loosened up a bit.

"Alrigh', let me show you again. Yeah?"

"I can do it! Just watch." I snapped, not wanting my poor little ego to get dragged through the dirt again. I stood up and put my hands on my hips, mirroring her stance, staring at my work proudly. "See? I-"

I heard a clicking noise and the rope suddenly tightened around one of my ankles and sent me sprawled out on the unforgiving dirt with a loud  _'thud!'_.I think I heard the sound of Sera cackling but it was tuned out by the sound of dirt scraping across my back as I was flipped upside down and sent into the air. I dangled for a second, slowly regaining my wits as I realized that I was upside down and in my own trap. My body spun in a circle for a second and I felt my face pale before embarrassment took hold and everything got warmer.

Son of a –

"O-Oh s-shite! Hyahahaha! I've gotta get Bull, jus' a second!" The elf snorted and laughed as she turned around to scurry off as my body rocked back and forth in the air. Riley, who was laying around nearby, slowly rose his head and he stared at me for a second. You know it's bad when you felt judged, even by your dog.

"Shut up." I crossed my arms to keep my baggy tunic from riding up any higher. The chilled mountain air was tickling my bare abdomen, which made me increasingly uncomfortable. As a person who used to be rather chubby, showing excess skin like that was a definite no no by society's standards. Though now I had started to lose quite a bit of that body fat, which I wasn't complaining about. I wasn't flat like Sera or muscly like Cassandra. Though I did wish someday I would be as strong as the Seeker.

Stupid. I was stupid for being so cocky and overconfident. Why hadn't I just let her explain it to me again?

I sighed through my nose and simply dangled there for what seemed like minutes before Dorian and Bull emerged from the Herald's Rest. The latter started booming with laughter, almost like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. I had been using the tree just outside of the tavern, which probably wasn't a good idea. What if someone accidentally stepped in it? Oh well, what's done is done.

This day was not a good day. Well, technically it was evening. Since the only time I had to train was after work. The Mabari let out a whine before putting his head underneath his paws. Yeah, me too buddy.

"Laugh it up, buddy. Laugh it up." I started to feel kind of dizzy from the blood rushing to my head. Sera was climbing up the tree with a dagger in her mouth as she idly sawed at the ropes on the upper branch. The rope slackened and I was sent falling into the Qunari's arms. I glared at his smiling face.

"Has anyone ever told you you're cute when you're angry?"

Probably like a chihuahua, to him.

"C-Cute! Hardly!" I hissed, hearing the blonde elf in the tree cackle at my discomfort.

"Yeah, kind of like your oversized dog. All bark." He smiled wider and whispered so that only I could hear, "No bite."

"Put me down  _before I tear your horns off!_ " I wriggled around and plopped onto the ground with a grunt, immediately scrambling into a standing position. I turned to glare at him, feeling my cheeks warm in slight embarrassment. I wouldn't let him get to me. The look on his face was that of pure amusement. "And I'll have you know Riley bites pretty hard. Did you see what he did to those Venatori? Absolute badass." Also gory and made me want to puke, but I wasn't mentioning that.

Riley barked in agreement.

"I always did like a little rough foreplay." That's sick (Not in a good way, I didn't need to know that). Though I did not necessarily disagree, rough foreplay would be –  _NO!_

"Dorian, keep your man on a leash!" I snapped as I pointed an accusing finger at the horned asshole in front of me. I bent down and untangled my foot from the rope and heard Bull answer for the Tevinter,

"If you want to get technical,  _he's_  the one usually on a leash."

"Oh for fuck-" I took a huge step back, holding my hands in front of my body. That was not something that I needed to know. Too much information for this woman,  _no thank you._

"I'll consider this compensation for barging in while I was changing. Stealing my robes like a savage was quite unexpected, especially from you." Dorian's comment was made in good humor, but there was that underlying tone that I caught onto as I looked over at the mage. It didn't look like the Tevinter was too happy about Bull revealing those things to me. Either that or he was jealous. Was he? There was no reason to be.

"Oooh. I'm a  _savage_ , you say?" I wanted to snicker but settled for letting my lips twitch in amusement. It was funny because back on Earth, calling Native American people savages was a huge no no. Considering it was considered pretty racist. "Did you know, where I am from, calling my people 'savage' is the equivalent of calling elves here 'knife ear'?"

I almost laughed at the horror that seemed to flit through his features at the fact that he'd inadvertently used a racial slur. The joys. I absolutely adored making things awkward on purpose. Perhaps even killing a conversation in general just to get back at someone.

"But your world has nothing but humans in it." Bull drawled.

"Yes yes, but since we are not so diverse as you guys are here. The humans in my world discriminate amongst one another based on skin tone and culture." I nodded sagely, "I am of mixed origin, but was looked down on by both 'races'. People always find something to dislike one another about, it's an inevitability."

"I can understand the culture bit, that's here too, but loathing someone based on skin tone alone? Preposterous!" Dorian obviously found the idea appalling and a bit ridiculous, if what he said was anything to go by. I agreed wholeheartedly.

"It  _is_  a pretty stupid reason to dislike someone." Bull appeared thoughtful for a moment, "This is the first time I've heard you talk about your culture. What was it like?"

"I grew up with another family, so I wouldn't know." I lied through my teeth and forced a smile on my face. Bull's eye squinted at me and he grunted. "Thanks for getting me out of the tree."

"Right."

"Oy, Riley. Let's go train!" I stumbled off away from the two, ignoring the fact that I could feel Bull's gaze on my back. Riley let out a whine, realizing that he had to move around and get some training done.

In my time getting to know my furry friend better, I'd noticed that he was quite lazy and liked to eat anything and everything. He was also a quick learner, for a dog. Or, Mabari. I didn't know how fast they were supposed to learn but I wasn't used to it. It was almost a little unnerving when I would say things and Riley would understand somehow. It was widely known in this world that the Mabari could understand complex commands and spoken language, but back on Earth that was not normal at all.

Yet another thing to tack onto my growing list of 'weird shit on Thedas'.

After we were finished with our training, which actually turned out to be one huge session of play time, I headed out to the barn to settle down in the loft and relax. It was pretty much the only way I knew how to cope with stressful situations. Find a quiet place and either draw or zone out. It worked.

My fingertips were darkened with pencil lead as I stared down at my sketchbook, small fingers smudging certain parts as I hardened some of the lines. My eraser pushed across the page in certain areas, making them lighter. It was turning out wonderfully, actually. Most of the drawings I drew now, did.

Such as this one. It was a picture of my Aunt's farm house, a beautiful flower garden in the front – sunflowers and small bushes. She was a gardener, my Aunt. The dirt driveway that lead up to the huge wrap-around porch and high vaulted rooftop. It was a 9 bedroom farmhouse, so it was quite massive. I sat up and cracked my back, wriggling my fingers a little to keep them from cramping. Riley, who was curled up behind me as I used him as support for my back, huffed before shifting on his side to get more comfortable.

It was getting easier and easier to put things on paper, especially when I had a memory attached to them. Fond memories, or even sad ones. I was quickly beginning to fill up the sketchbook that Cole got me all that time ago.

"The small twist of her lips, brown eyes intense as she examines her creation. A world inside of her head, flowing gently from the tips of her smudged fingers." My gaze slowly trailed up to see Cole crouching in front of me, his thin fingers poised just above my sketch. "It's beautiful."

"It is, isn't it?" I smiled, pushing my hair behind my ear as I looked down at the half finished drawing of my Aunt's farmhouse.

"That, too." The blonde rogue took a seat right in front of me in a cross-legged position just like I was, our knees touching. I rested my sketchbook between us and felt my face get warmer. "I saw it, flickering and fluttering – the ripples creating an image. Just like on your paper, but not as real. You  _make_  it real. It is faint but flowing, pushing and wanting to come through."

"Huh..." I didn't really know how to reply to that. He had a pretty cool way of explaining things, even though at times it took me awhile to understand. My gaze slid down to what he was wearing, not having noticed until just then. "I see you've changed your clothing for the day."

"Varric said that I smelled like a wet dog." The rogue explained and I reached out to run my fingers along the soft grey material of his tunic. I hummed, knowing that he kept a few changes of clothing anyway. He just preferred his signature ratty long-sleeved shirt. Not that I was complaining, I used to have a favorite sweater back on Earth that was all ratty that I refused to throw away.

Though I was curious how much he could see when I was sitting there reminiscing about things. Even when I'm just drawing, like what was happening just moments ago.

"Usually I can see what I want. When it's a hurt it's clearer – but with you I have to wait. The water doesn't like getting disturbed and clouds over if I push too hard." Cole elaborated and I stared up at him as the words slowly sunk in.

"What do you see, now?" I looked down at the paper and concentrated on the times my Aunt taught me how to garden. I was young, eager little hands digging in the dirt to get the weeds out. The flowers were in full bloom with speckles of pink and purples, tall sunflowers towering over my little self. The sketch didn't portray the vast amount of color that would be seen, but in my head I could picture it. That was enough.

"You were … different. More open, carefree. Giggles and small smiles that lifted her heart – always eager to help." Cole chirped, his face betraying his voice completely. I always wondered how it was he could speak so happily yet have such a passive look on his face. "She always wanted a daughter. You gave her that."

"Yes, of course." That sounded like my Aunt. Though I wanted him to see more than just that, "What about the flowers? How green the grass was or … the high roof on the farmhouse?"

"I-I … yes, I." I allowed my brown eyes to travel from my sketch to him, still remembering how everything looked back then. The dwellings on Earth definitely looked different than the ones here on Thedas, that was for sure. While the outer part of the building didn't look that odd, the inside was a whole different story. The kitchen appliances and sliding glass pane door that lead to the porch. Hallways filled with furniture that had pictures of family placed neatly atop shelves. The living area where we spent every Christmas opening presents, a huge television positioned on the wall.

Christmas at my Aunt's house was always a very active part of the year, seeing as how her house was the biggest. Family members I didn't even know I had would arrive for the occasion. And her cooking. Gods, her cooking... It was a short time in my childhood, but it was a time that I cherished very much. My Aunt was one of the reasons I was not insane, after all.

When I focused my gaze on Cole's face, he had this concentrated expression as he seemingly stared through me.

"There are dark specks in your memory, times in your life that are black and colorless – but times like this are clear and uncluttered. Light and carefree. H-How do you do it?"

I sat there for a moment and tried to think about what he meant. "Distinguish between the two?"

"Yes."

Ah, right. Traumas, especially when they're relatively fresh, sometimes still plague people's minds. I would know this, after all. It sometimes seemed like there was no end to it and every time I thought of my past the only thing I could seem to think about was all the bad shit that happened to me. It was like a snowball that kept rolling down a hill, accumulating as it got lower and lower. Left unchecked, like what happened to me at one point in my life, it would seem to get heavier and heavier as time wore on. This was why it was bad to bottle things up and not cope with them.

"Hmmm." I made a low noise as I thought about what to say. He seemed to be listening to me, despite the fact that I wasn't saying a thing. As usual. "Well, I suppose the first step would be admitting that it happened. Then comes … learning to cope with it. That's the hardest part."

Usually after that, it was a bit easier to look back and see some of the good things instead of the bad. Sometimes the bad things taint the memory so deeply that it's all you could see. It was hard to explain and I couldn't really find the right words to offer.

"Thinking about it hurts, sometimes I wish I could forget." Cole murmured in confession and I felt my grip on my pencil tighten slightly, "Being more human is … hard."

"Would you have been happier being less human? More like a spirit, that is." I asked in a cautious tone. That was, after all, what he originally had been.

"Yes. Maybe." Was Cole's truthful answer, causing me to wince a little. My actions back then were a large part of why he became what he did and it still bothered me at times. Especially if he was getting hurt because of his humanity. I felt those things, guilt and blame, but I chose not to comment. This was not about me. " _'Dwelling on the past gets you nowhere.'_  You told me this. Don't worry, I'm happy."

My shoulders slumped in slight relief, "You being happy matters. If I could … I would have supported Solas' decision back then. I'm sorry."

"I wouldn't have."

"W-What?"

"Drifting and floating freely – without need or want. Spirits just  _are_. I wouldn't have this, would I?" His voice trailed off and I shifted, staring at him critically. I didn't mean to, but I was looking for signs of deception. A reflexive action on my part. His brows knitted almost minutely and he seemed to struggle with words as he continued slowly. "My friends. What we have. It wouldn't be."

"Being human is hard and it's probably pretty frightening, I'd imagine." I chuckled humorlessly, "You'd put yourself through it willingly? Everything here is so unpredictable, constantly changing."

It wasn't until I said it that I realized it sounded like I was dissuading him at all. It hadn't been my intent, but there it was. It took Cole awhile to respond, but when he did he put his hand over mine and spoke in a quick but soft tone.

"Voices in the wind, a song from long ago. I can hear it, still so soft and child-like." He gave my hand a squeeze, "It changed when the world changed, everything shifting and sifting – moving all at once. Then it all snapped into place, leaving you with nothing. We are alike."

I knew then that he was referring to his own struggle with his first friends and how everything had changed and he lost them. Change was a constant theme in life. Because even now, ever slowly, he was changing too. But so was I. Change wasn't always bad, it seemed.

"But I found something in nothing." I replied with a smile, "Sometimes you just have to look. You can do it, too. You already have."

"Yes. I have made new friends … and I have you." My heart lifted at his words. He needed to know that he has people that would be there for him. He deserved it. "Thank you for being there, for believing in me. You don't know what it means."

"You'll always have me."

He sighed as if hearing it took a weight off of his shoulders, his posture loosening as he let his calloused fingertip trace along my jawline. I leaned into his hand and he cupped my cheek in response. We were having such a sweet moment, both leaning forward about to kiss – when I heard the sound of boots shuffling to a stop at the staircase. I froze up,

"Lyn? The Inquisitor-" Blackwall's voice filtered through the air and I leaned back against Riley, who was still asleep. " _Oh_ , my apologies."

Suppose it was probably to be expected, anyway. Seeing as how the barn loft wasn't exactly the most private place in the world, especially in the evenings when the stablehands were getting the feed ready for the horses. Though I was normally the one to come up and grab it.

I schooled my expression and looked over at Blackwall, "Is there something you needed?" It had come out more snappish than I intended.

"Inquisitor Lavellan is looking for you." The bearded warrior straightened his posture, seemingly shaking off what he'd just witnessed. "The recruits are scared of the Mabari, so I thought I'd do the honors of informing you."

I saw the slight amount of amusement flicker through his eyes as he stood atop the staircase and I couldn't resist the upward twitch of my lips. I'd remembered on more than one occasion walking out into the upper courtyard to see Riley trying to 'play' with some of Cullen's recruits as they trained. Whenever the dog wasn't being lazy, that is.

"Understood, I'll meet with her immediately." The amusement colored my tone as I turned my gaze to the sketchbook in my lap and closed it, putting it away for later.

* * *

It didn't take me long to get to Josephine's office, since I was so eager to learn what kinds of things they dug up during their investigation. It had taken a much shorter time than I'd thought, but it seemed Leliana's connections were pretty efficient. Seeing as how the things in this world was usually delivered by messenger or birds, I'd expected her to have some answers right before we went to the Ball.

Which, by the way, I wasn't looking forward to at all. Just the thought of being in a cramped space with people seemed to rub me the wrong way. Now cramped with people dressed in gaudy clothing with pompous attitudes. I'd have to try my utmost hardest not to punch someone in the face if they tried that shit on me.

It wouldn't end well, I could already feel it. If it weren't for the fact that my actions would reflect on the Inquisition, I would probably crash the party out of spite. Because fuck logic.

I stepped into the threshold of the Ambassador's workspace, the door clicking shut behind me. I blinked, realizing that I probably should have knocked and was greeted with the sight of Inquisitor Lavellan pausing in her talk with both Leliana and Josephine. They stood positioned around the tanned woman's desk, papers and books strewn about almost haphazardly in the usually neat workspace.

"You summoned me, Lady Inquisitor?" I spoke in a low and dull tone. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared or nervous about the results of her investigation. I ended up shifting uncomfortably when they remained silent before Lavellan waved me over. My feet moved on their own accord and I was planted right in front of her desk. I suddenly felt like a child that was about to get scolded by the principal. If the nervousness was anything to go by.

"Let me guess, you have some bad news … and some bad news?" I offered and I heard one of them sigh, causing me to look up to see who it was. I couldn't tell.

"It seems the rumors also mentioned you being a Fade Jumper, of sorts. Which is not such a far fetched idea, seeing as how the Inquisitor's most recent endeavors included her travel physically to the Fade itself." Leliana dove right in, opting for being more bold and straightforward than anything. I appreciated that, actually. It made things easier.

I, however, did not appreciate the fact that people were starting to make up insane little speculations because of my origin.

"A fucking Fade Jumper!? Are these people mad?" I hissed. "Isn't it enough that they think me a simple mage, but someone that can willingly enter the Fade and hop around like some freakshow? This is getting ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous as it may be, it is inevitable that such talk would spread amongst the nobles and the court. Especially since it is in regards to the Inquisition itself." Josephine sounded sympathetic and I had to resist the urge to groan again. "The whispers about you speak in fear, but also acknowledge your position within the Inquisitor's Inner Circle."

"But oh, there are many tales of you." Leliana didn't give me a chance to respond to the Ambassador's statement. "One of which is that you reportedly took out a whole camp with the  _flick of_ _your_ _wrist._ Because of this, I suspect Venatori might be responsible. Though I have not found any evidence of such, yet. They are thorough at hiding their involvement, as usual."

A bit extreme, if you asked me. I couldn't help the feeling that overcame me just then, a rock being lodged in my throat somewhere. Frustration … or perhaps dread. Probably a mixture of both.

"And another where you saved a group of refugees from being sold by some thugs without so much as moving." Lavellan finally spoke up after being silent for so long. Her lips were curved in an almost nervous looking smile as she told me this. We both knew that the incident she was talking about was when we'd gone to the Emerald Graves.

It wasn't true, I'd run out of bullets then. I rubbed my temples, feeling a huge headache coming on. This shit was getting to be too much. I was going to die, lynched by a mob of wild Chantry enthusiasts once I entered Val Royeaux. There was no doubt about that.

"Why, dare I ask, do they even think me a mage – no. It's because of the gun, isn't it?" I had a suspicion that something like this would happen. It was why I'd refused to use the thing that much. It was something that I was glad that I didn't flaunt, to be honest. It could have been worse than what was currently happening.

"That is largely why, yes." Leliana nodded, her eyes never leaving mine.

"What else could there be?" Something told me that I wasn't going to like the answer. Billy Mays' voice popped into my head just then – _'But wait, there's more!'_

There was always more.

"It might be because of your sister and our recent discovery in the breach of security. Someone got by with some information. Fortunately, depending on how you decide to look at it, the information was misconstrued." I stared at the redhead, completely confused by what she was saying. What the hell did my sister have to do with any of this? "Angel is a mage."

It was like a kick to the gut.

"WHAT?" I practically screamed, seeing Lynn and Joesphine wince from their spots near the woman's desk. "This isn't the time to joke, Leliana."

"I am not joking."

"She's telling the truth." Inquisitor Lavellan jumped in to defend the Spymaster and I almost couldn't believe it. That's it, they were absolutely bonkers. Mages in our world just didn't exist – or. Wait.

Solas' words slowly came back to me and I squinted, at one of the bookcases behind the redheaded rogue. I felt anger slowly well up in my chest. This was bullshit, he knew all along!? But from the looks on their faces,  _they_ knew too. Angel could have gotten herself killed somehow. Or worse, others! I could have stepped in to help, somehow. Maybe act as support, but I wasn't even told.

"Don't worry about it, Lyn. She doesn't seem to even show an aptitude for it, so she isn't deemed much of a threat right now." Lavellan tried to reassure, her delicate hands coming up to calm me. I didn't realize until just then that I was even hyperventilating. Sure I was worried for my sister's safety, but they were completely serious. I almost wished they were joking. "It was part of the reason why we captured her, in the first place. Former Templars had sensed her and got Cassandra to investigate why a stray mage was inside of our walls."

I felt a little lightheaded just then, realizing now why the two of them had been giving one another sidelong glances when Angel first arrived. I'd been too preoccupied with seeing my sister to even look into it. Yeah, why would a group of 'guards' investigate one girl simply because of her odd clothing? Of course there was something else.

"That and her odd choice in clothing." There it was. "We thought her a Tevinter spy, at first. Fortunately, she was not. Her story held up." Leliana put in evenly, the implications obvious. If she had been a wee bit suspicious, Angel would have been killed. "She is currently under the tutelage of Madame de Fer."

It all seemed to click into place, then. Why, even now, she was being watched and guarded. You'd think that after awhile they would relieve them of their duties after finding out that she was no threat. But she was an untrained mage, of course they'd have to keep an eye on her. And her frequent visits with Solas and how close to Eren she was. The dalish elf must have taught her a thing or two before her arrival in Skyhold, no doubt.

Or how she'd reacted when she was told that Cole was a demon and how she refused to call him otherwise. My sister, even now, was still wary around him. I hadn't even thought twice about why Vivienne hadn't attended our little group mission to the Hissing Wastes, only to now realize that she'd likely been training my sister during that time.

"Did no one think to inform me of such things?!" I felt furious that I was left out of my sister's wellbeing. My fists clenched, nails digging into my palms painfully. "She is my sister, you'd think I have the right to know about her potentially being in danger!"

Not only that, but they'd forgotten to tell me about my potential demise months and months ago by Ben-Hassrath spies. The thought itself caused my mind to haze over, rage slowly taking hold. I started to breathe in and out, focusing on that rather than the urge to claw someone's eyes out.

"That is  _her_  decision, not yours. She did not want anyone to know, so no one knew. Simple." Was Leliana's curt reply, her hands folded behind her back. "We will continue this discussion when you have calmed down, yes?"

A very polite way of telling me to 'get the fuck out'. I scowled and turned around to stomp out the door without a word. It was probably best I get some time to let that information sink in, anyway. At the rate my temper had been climbing, it was inevitable that I would end up harming someone.

* * *

Things as of late have been like an emotional rollercoaster. First I find out that my sister was secretly a mage and that I had almost gotten assassinated and wasn't told. Then there was the whole Fade Jumper shit. So I'd gone to the Herald's Rest to drink some water and watch people interact as I positioned myself somewhere at the back of the tavern. I was hoping the drone of idle conversation would drown out my thoughts enough for me to ignore them, but it seemed luck was not on my side.

"Lyn..." I heard Angel's voice from my right as I sat at a worn out table, my stool groaning as I shifted. I grunted, taking a drink and ignoring the fact that she was shifting uncomfortably in my peripheral. My sister had been trying to get my attention for awhile now, but I really didn't feel like talking to her.

Evidently word had gotten to her that I found out about her little secret, which was probably why she was trying to confront me about it.

What I was doing was childish, I knew. But I felt hurt. Incredibly so. I didn't blame the others for not telling me, that wasn't their secret to tell. But the fact that my sister, someone I trusted so closely, had refused to tell me about something so essential? It was kind of like getting kicked and being told I wasn't worthy. I felt left out and … betrayed. As odd as that sounded.

I couldn't help it.

"Lyn you can't keep ignoring me." Her voice came out firmer and I opened my eyes from behind my mug as I swallowed the last of my water. I slammed the cup onto the worn out table and turned my glare in her direction.

"I don't want to talk to you right now." Was my rather icy reply, causing the long haired teen to flinch minutely.

"What, so I don't tell you about something and suddenly you cast me aside like I don't matter? Is that it?"

"Well what about how  _I_  feel? Did you ever think that not telling me would end up hurting me, too?" I snapped back, brown eyes alight with irritation. Because not telling me meant that I wouldn't have been able to keep her safe if something were to happen. I wouldn't have anticipated someone trying to kidnap her if the information relayed had not been misconstrued. I would have been oblivious. Blissfully unaware.

"Everything's not about  _ **you**_.  _I was scared!_  Can't you, for once, think about what it would be like in my shoes?! Finding out that – ah! Suddenly you're a mage. Congratu-fucking-lations. Oh? By the way, demons can get you if you're not careful. It's stupid!" Angel growled, tears shimmering in her eyes. I noticed a few of the other patrons stopped to stare at the small scene we were causing. The teen continued in a much less frustrated tone, barely a whisper. "I thought that you'd at least understand  _that_  much."

Aaand there it was. I'd made an ass out of myself again. My eyes narrowed and I stared at the slumped form of my sister as she stood next to my table, pretty much crying and pouring her heart out. Her small arms were held in front of her, hands clutched close to her chest as if it would help ebb the pain away. But me, being me, of course I simply stood up and strode away without a word. I was hurt. She was hurt. I didn't want to say something else that I'd regret, so I tried to ignore the fact that she started to cry harder as I walked out the door to head down to the lower courtyard.

I entered the barn, my feet hitting the ground with more force than usual as I made my way toward the staircase. Only to be stopped by Blackwall as he coughed to get my attention. I turned my steely gaze toward him and shifted so that I was facing him,

"Did you want something?"

"I just had a question, is all." The warrior shrugged, putting down his woodworking tools and brushing his hands off. "Nothing too serious."

"Right."

"I don't mean to offend or anything, but the boy is so naïve and innocent." He commented idly as he moved his hands around to relay his point, "Suppose I'm just having a difficult time grasping the thought that..."

"The thought that what?" I felt a bit confused as I stared at the bearded man.

"That thing you guys were doing before you met with the Inquisitor. Are you sure Cole even really …  _understands_  what's going on between the two of you?"

Oh, what the fuck.

" _Even understands._ " I repeated almost incredulously, "Just because he sees the world differently doesn't mean he's incapable of comprehending things the way you and I do." I spoke slowly, trying to keep the irritation from coloring my tone. It must have appeared on my face though, because Blackwall shifted uncomfortably.

"Look, that's not what I meant-"

"What did you mean, then?" I retorted and took a step back, trying to reign in the anger that was threatening to boil over. No. I can't let it control me anymore. For all I knew I could have been jumping to conclusions, but with what happened not even minutes ago … Blackwall confronting me about that in such a way didn't seem to help at all.

"If you'd let me finish."

"Oh, I apologize. Please do tell me what you meant, because I'm just  _dying_  to hear it." My voice came out sarcastic and I knew that I'd regret opening my mouth this evening. It seemed I was irritating a lot of people, logic completely gone and replaced with the flood of emotions from the aftermath of the news from earlier.

"I just thought, that since he's so new to this human thing … the transition might be hard on the boy." He explained to me, stance rigid. "Just some words of caution."

"He may be new to this world, but that doesn't mean he cannot understand the complexities of a romantic relationship." I  _was_  being careful, I knew that it would be difficult for the both of us. My fear of hurting Cole seemed to bubble forth and self-doubt tugged and pulled at my subconscious.

"I'm just lookin' out for him, is all."

"You don't have to coddle him, for fucks sake. He can take care of himself." I snapped, "Funny thing, you were trying to discourage  _me_  from being with  _him_  months ago. What's changed?"

"It's not just him, I'm worried about 'ere." Blackwall sounded exasperated and I frowned in confusion.

Oh, I wanted to give Blackwall a reason to look out for  _his own_  welfare here in a second. The urge to do more than simply punch him tickled the back of my mind as I stewed silently in my thoughts. I'd never had a problem with the man, before.

The warrior looked as if he were about to speak up again when his eyes widened and his mouth snapped shut. I squinted and it didn't take me long to realize why he'd shut his trap.

"He doesn't understand." The familiar voice of Cole drifted from my left and I scowled and my gaze never left the warrior. I didn't even question anymore how he appeared at the most opportune times. The rogue seemed to be everywhere.

"He's being an ass."

"Barely skimming the surface of the water. Thinking he sees the bottom, but not realizing there is more. There is always more." His voice was smooth and it almost seemed to calm my angered state. "Thoughts and emotions cause ripples, distorting and twisting. He doesn't understand because he can't  _see_  like you do."

"Look, Cole …" Blackwall started but couldn't seem to think of the right thing to say.

"It's not your fault. It's hard, I know. What you see is not always what is."

"Yeah, it's not your fault that you're so obtuse." I muttered and Cole gave me a disapproving look that I could see from my peripheral. I glanced at him and bowed my head, frowning. Successfully scolded.

"Blackwall did not want either of us to get hurt and he was worried. He cares and was only trying to help by making sure we were okay." He spoke to me before turning to Blackwall, "Lyn is protective of those she loves and sometimes the fire gets too intense, _anger clouding and tainting judgment._ " He spoke the last part almost ominously, his head tilting down to hide his expression behind his hat.

Oh, I wasn't that bad was I?

I sighed and looked away from the two of them. Coming to the barn had been a mistake. Though, deep back in my mind, I knew that Blackwall would have likely confronted me about it some other time anyway.

Without even so much as a goodbye, I wandered off up into the loft and ignored the small conversation that seemed to go on between the two of them. The warrior had slowly begun to warm up to Cole and it appeared as though he saw him more like a child than anything. I didn't understand why. Cole, for all intents and purposes, viewed and experienced the world differently. But the rogue was not as innocent as most thought him to be, that was a fact that probably Varric and I only knew at this point. Though he  _could_  be, at times, and was sometimes a bit naïve. That alone didn't mean he should be coddled, for fucks sake. I wanted to punch Blackwall for being such a dumbass.

But Cole was right. He just didn't understand and I couldn't blame him for not knowing. Uneducated people could always be educated. It was just when they refused to acknowledge things from another's perspective, even after learning something, and treated them harshly for it that they were an outright ass and deserved to be thrown through a blender.

No, too harsh?

My thoughts were getting a little dark, there. Perhaps a nice hot bath would help. I slowly grabbed a clean set of clothing and skittered by the two of them, ignoring the fact that I'd seen them glance in my direction as I went by.

**Third Person**

Cole had followed Lyn after he was done talking to Blackwall out in the barn. The warrior had slowly begun to warm up to the awkward young rogue as of late, seemingly taking him under his wing. He'd talk more openly to him and he'd even showed Cole how to carve wood, just like he seemed to enjoy doing on his off time. It was hard, getting intricate designs and moving his hands this way and that. Quite unlike what he did with his daggers in battle. But he was able to get it.

That wasn't, however, what was on his mind presently. The rogue skittered behind the woman nervously as she exited the washrooms and walked along the ramparts. It seemed Lyn was headed toward the Herald's Rest and didn't want to encounter any people on her way. Walking along the walls was hardly what anyone did, which was why she did it so often. The guards never seemed to mind.

He appeared in front of her in a cloud of smoke so suddenly, she let out a terrified shriek. A passing guard jumped, as well, but simply stared at Cole with a perturbed expression before walking away like it never happened. Though, the man had his hand on his sword as he glanced back a couple of times warily.

"Holy shit, you scared the hell out of me." Lyn breathed, her hand clutching the front of her pale blue tunic as she took in a few deep breaths to calm herself. Her wet hair dangled limply passed her shoulders, tips freezing and becoming hardened from the cold mountain air. Cole shifted awkwardly, feeling guilty for what had just occurred. He hadn't meant to, but- "Wait, have you been following me around?"

"I'm sorry!" He blurted, face turning pink within seconds. Lyn's eyes widened in surprise, "Y-You were upset, sad. I didn't want to leave you alone and – you."

"Cole…?" She spoke in a low voice, urging him to continue.

"In the washrooms, I saw-" Her face flushed a brilliant pink, lips parted as if to say something but nothing came out. Cole stumbled for the right words, fiddling around with the hems of his shirt almost nervously. "The water dribbled down soft curves, tanned skin bared in the candlelight. I-I tried to look away, but couldn't." He hadn't wanted to.

In an instant, her hand flew to her face as she pinched the bridge of her nose. He could feel the slight amount of embarrassment rolling off of her in quiet waves as she closed her eyes and let out a small sigh.

"You saw me naked." Lyn stated in a rather bland tone, slowly allowing her hand to fall away from her face as she made eye contact with him. Cole winced, wondering if she would hit him for being so inconsiderate of her privacy. More than once, he'd been caught watching people when he wasn't supposed to and had gotten hit. Usually when it came to women, however. "Cole, I won't. I'm  _not_  going to hit you –  _I'd never_  – how many women have you been caught spying on?!"

"Evangeline didn't like it when I saw her without her clothes on. She got upset." He elaborated for her, voice coming out softly. The otherworlder tilted her head in silent question. "My friends, f-from before. Rhys was a mage from the Spire, he was really nice. Evangeline was a pretty templar."

"Right." Lyn rose a brow and crossed her arms, looking at him skeptically. It wasn't until then that he thought about what he said.

"N-No! That came out wrong. Maybe. Well. You're pretty, too. I-I just." Cole's shoulders slumped and he added lamely, "I'm sorry."

His blue gaze snapped up when he heard her stifling a giggle at his awkward fumbling.

"I'm not mad." Lyn reassured, amusement coloring her tone and he felt confused. She refused to make eye contact and appeared almost shy as she continued, voice dwindling to barely a whisper. "I'm your … well … we're _together_ , so it's okay for you to see me naked."

"Really?" It came out more hopeful than he intended and he almost jumped when she snapped her attention back up to him so suddenly.

"N-Not r-right  _now!"_ She blurted rather loudly, face flushing all the way to the tips of her ears.

"But you said it was okay."

"Cole!" He frowned and tilted his head down, looking like a scolded puppy. Lyn sounded exasperated, "Don't make that face at me."

"I-I wanted to touch, to feel …  _everything_." He admitted and felt his eyes rake over her figure as she stood in front of him. He found himself wondering what it would feel like to touch her. Hands roaming, exploring supple flesh. How would it feel? How would  _she_  feel?

Lyn seemed to have noticed the distinct look in his eye and her face reddened even more, brown gaze refusing to meet his. Again.

"Please, look at me." Cole stepped forward and put his fingers underneath her chin. Almost hesitantly, she slowly met his gaze. "You're scared to hurt me, but you won't. I trust you."

"You sound so sure." Her voice was so quiet, he almost couldn't hear it. Lyn's feelings mirrored his, at that moment. It would be a lie to say he wasn't a little apprehensive about his newfound desires. The rogue had gone far too long without so much as the simplest forms of physical contact that it was usually pretty awkward when it did happen. It almost made his skin crawl.

But this was vastly different. Somehow, for some unforeseen reason, he almost craved it when it came to her. It made Cole feel almost jittery, hands refusing to stop fidgeting. Lyn was the same way, though would act almost skittish and retreat when things got to be too much for her.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, white-blonde hair tickling her nose. It was fascinating, the way her brown eyes would dilate the way they did. A song tickling the back of his mind, calling and reaching out to him. Just before she tilted her head and brushed her lips against his. But, this time, that wasn't enough. He deepened the kiss, feeling her press her body against his almost needily in response. This caused the rogue to stumble back, only to meet cold stone.

This time it was so much different; more fire, more need, want. It was enough to send his thoughts spiraling and he wondered if it had the same effect on her. He couldn't tell. He was too loud. He felt Lyn nibble on his lower lip, her hands coming up to press against his stomach.

Cole let out a whine and his knees seemed to give out, body sliding against the wall. His hands were clasped onto her shirt and he ended up pulling her with him. They went down in a tangle of limbs and he grabbed at her, his hands securing themselves underneath her bottom to keep her from hurting herself. Lyn let out a gasp into his mouth, chest pushing against his. She was decidedly … softer than he was, that was for sure. Softer in areas that he was not, that is.

"C-Cole, are you-" _'Are you okay?'_ Her breathing hitched and she shivered from her place on top of him. Somehow his hands found their way underneath her shirt, calloused fingertips gliding across the soft skin on her lower back.

Closer, he wanted her closer.

His hand came up in the middle as he yanked her forward so that she was flush against him. Everything seemingly got warmer, just then. Her mouth found his again and if Cole could stop, he didn't think he would anyway.

"Maker preserve me, the kids these days." They both froze up simultaneously and broke apart, seeing a few guards standing not far away. "This isn't the place, go on! Get!"

Cole stared blankly, wondering why he hadn't heard them approaching. Usually he was privy to such things, but it seemed he had been too preoccupied.

* * *

He followed her into one of the abandoned towers, boards and nails strewn out along the stone floor. The evening sun sending slivers of light in through the cracked windows, dust floating about. It was the tower that lead directly into the third floor of the Herald's Rest. Lyn was planning on retreating to her room, for whatever reason. But Cole wouldn't let her, he felt the need to say something. The blonde rogue sped up and reached for her and gently grabbed her elbow.

She stopped and tilted her head in his direction, her frustration at the guard obvious.

"I'm getting cold and I –" Lyn paused when he put his large hands over her smaller ones. What he'd seen earlier had made him realize just how delicate the human body was. She held herself so high and refused to show any weakness around the others, but since her arrival her body had become littered with a number of scars. From burns and scrapes to even stab wounds from battles during their missions.

Of course, Cole wouldn't say it aloud that he even thought of her and 'delicate' in the same sentence. He had a feeling that her soft spot for him wouldn't prevent her from throwing him off the ramparts for saying something so absurd.

"I-I see, now." The rogue muttered. He didn't like it when she got hurt, physically or not, and wished to protect her from such things. His constant concern for her welfare and what had happened just seconds ago. He couldn't imagine doing  _that_  with anyone else. Or the way he felt when he was around her – no – even when he wasn't. He knew.

"What do you see?"

"Love all around, Varric calls me 'Kid' – sees me like a son. Solas cares and is a close friend. You …. it's more complicated, undefinable, infinite. Ties that bind, yet warm, affectionate.  _It doesn't hurt._ " Not like he thought it would, anyway. His voice came out rushed and quiet before looking up at her with resolve, "I love  _you_. Not like Varric or Solas. I love you like you love me."

Lyn seemed to freeze in her spot, staring at him with disbelieving eyes. Almost as if she hadn't heard him right for a second, the frustration from before seemingly melted away like it had never been there. He couldn't have been more clear, that was for sure.

"Y-You..." She swallowed and asked almost hesitantly. "You do?"

"Yes! Isn't it wonderful?" Cole confirmed in a happy tone, hands squeezing hers. The chill from the abandoned tower completely forgotten. "I used to be scared. Too much at once, too bright. Can't do it right. Never could. But that's not true. Not unless I want it to be."

"C-Cole..." Lyn's voice wobbled, her hands pulling away and moving up to cover her face as if to hide her expression. Cole gently pried her hands away from her face so that he could see her, chuckling lightly. Before he could even respond, she stepped forward and pulled him into a crushing hug. "You mean it."

"I would not say it if I didn't." He reassured, arms coming up slowly to return the hug.

Yes, that's right. He did. It would most certainly explain why he wanted to be with her in every way possible. He thought back on the books he'd explored. He'd even listened to Cassandra read such books, though she didn't seem to like it when he did.

It was odd, the feeling. He couldn't completely understand why, it just was. Something that could be so beautiful, yet so damaging. He knew what happened to Varric and how he knew what heartbreak felt like. Things were slowly coming into focus. Things were making much more sense, now.

Cole was lucky that Lyn felt the same way about him. They both understood one another and cared so deeply about the wellbeing of the other.

She helped ground him to this world, there was no other way to put it. Just like the time back in the Hinterlands so long ago when he'd gotten so lost in thought. It had been happening more and more and it felt like he'd been spiraling downward, not knowing how to stop it. It was something he just wasn't used to. Wallowing in such heavy regret and guilt, that is. The world had faded away and everything felt so distant. Things would sometimes sound muted, muffled. But Lyn was there for him.

She always was.

The first night that they cuddled against one another had helped more than she'd ever know. He hadn't known it at the time, but knowing someone was there and that person would never leave – it made things less lonely. Easier to deal with.

She was right, things did get better over time. He wondered what he would learn next.

**First Person**

Today was just one big shit bomb. There was no other way to explain it. Well, aside from the small moment I'd had up on the ramparts. But that was beside the point.

Though I wondered who it was that's been spreading information among nobles and the likeliness that they worked for the Venatori and consequently Corypheus. This is all just one clusterfuck, wasn't it? Why can't life be simple, for a change? Everything seemed to be working out fine, then BAM! Nope. Here have a nice dose of 'fuck you' and have a nice day (not). Life's such a bitch, sometimes.

Trying not to stew in the afterthoughts of the news I'd received just hours ago, I made my way quietly up into the loft of the barn. My feet made silent thuds as I witnessed possibly one of the cutest things ever. Riley was curled up on my makeshift bed, his back against the wall as the three kittens slept soundly atop him like he was an oversized pillow.

In the small amount of time they had to bond with one another, the kittens and their mother had grown rather attached to the Mabari. As could be seen right then. I sighed, a small smile forming on my face as I walked forward and got ready for bed.

As I curled up next to the furballs for the night, I kept in mind that no matter how hard things got, there was always a way to work it out. Usually. And even then, it wasn't impossible to find a way around it and get through it. No matter how hard things got, there was always a way. Even though sometimes you had to wade your way through all of the shit to get to your destination. I wondered, however, what my destination was?


	32. Preparation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather long chapter.
> 
> ~*~*~ Mature scene marked – skip to next break if you don't want to see it.

I woke up the next day warm, though not uncomfortably so. I realized why once the haze from sleep had slowly slipped away. The ratty blanket that I usually used was draped over my body, Riley curled up in front of me against the wood paneled wall as I seemingly used him as an oversized teddy bear. The Mabari didn't seem to mind, however, as he simply stay curled up and asleep. An arm that was wrapped around my midsection pulled me against a warm body just behind me.

Rolling over, I lay on my back and stared up at the ceiling of the barn with a squint as my eyes slowly adjusted to the faint light provided from outside. Cole made a small noise at my right and I froze, seeing something rather big and brown sitting on my chest.

Big for a bug, that is. Squinting my brown eyes and crossing them, I noticed that it was a rather large and fluffy looking spider. It's legs twitched and the two front ones reared up, as if greeting me. Resisting the urge to shriek, my hand flew up and I grabbed it and chucked it in a random direction.

"Jesus f-!" I sprung into a seated position, disturbing the two sleeping next to me. My heart nearly jumped out of my damn chest. I wasn't particularly scared of spiders, but the thing had been so large and furry – how was I supposed to react?

The joys of living in a barn loft. Barn spiders. Or wait, were barn spiders even furry? What kind of spider was it, then? Ugh, I'm not thinking about species of spiders this early in the morning. Too much work.

"The spider didn't mean to scare you." Cole mumbled sleepily at my side and I heard Riley yawn before plopping back over to sleep. Ah, right. It was barely dawn yet and I had to get up, anyway. It was my turn to feed the horses.

"Right... I apologize for waking you up." I spoke quietly, turning to peek at him through my messy bed hair. It seemed I wasn't the only one with bed hair, because his white-blonde hair was sticking on end in each and every direction as he stared dazedly at me. Small pieces of straw and hay clung to the both of us and I wondered if perhaps I should relocate back into my room to avoid such occurrences. Picking them out of my clothing every morning was hardly an optimal way to live.

Before I knew it, my hands were already working their way through his hair and picking them out as he stared blankly at me. We were silent for awhile before he decided to speak up.

"Words formed from anger can cut deeper than any dagger ever could. You walked away to keep her from hurting, but she got hurt anyway." He murmured, "Angel  _needs_  you."

"I know. That's what I was afraid of." I've said my fair share of horrible things during fits of anger and I've learned to shut my trap, in the very least, when things got to be too much. Though sometimes even that didn't work. "I'll have a talk with her during my lunch break."

I got cleaned up the best I could and worked most of the morning in silence. Riley had followed me around for about an hour before waddling off toward the kitchens, I'd assume. I knew that Angel usually threw him the uncooked bones and scraps that she deemed weren't a risk to his health.

As for what was going to be said between the two of us during lunch, I still had no idea. Surely an apology for my behavior should suffice, though I'd like to know why it was that she decided to keep such a thing from me for so long. I was trying to be understanding, despite how I felt. It was rather difficult, might I add. I was tempted to keep ignoring her because she hurt me. But that wasn't the right way to go about it.

Cole was right. She needed me. I'd never abandoned her, even before when we were small and I couldn't do a thing about what had been going on. We'd gone through rough patches in our lives together and come out on the top, though not totally unscathed. Things like this were bound to happen.

I sighed, stretching and setting the pitchfork next to the stall door. The stall I was working on was now cleaned and the wheelbarrow full and ready to be taken away. The morning sun peeked through some of the cracks in the worn ceiling of the stables and the sounds of horses whickering for food and people quietly chatting filled the atmosphere.

There was a bucket full of clean water on the other side of the work area that everyone had access to. Though it seemed not many used it, probably thinking it was either unnecessary or didn't have time to. Being raised in a rather hygienic environment, I had the compulsions to keep myself clean as much as I possibly could. As per usual, I scooped a cup of cool water out and began to rinse myself off before I headed up toward the Herald's Rest for some lunch.

I was on my way around the corner headed toward the kitchens when I heard voices, one of them sounding rather angry.

"...no …. where it went." Angel's shaky voice echoed out into the tavern and I scrunched my brows, wondering what on Thedas she was upset about now.

"You were the one left in charge of the kitchens yesterday, how could it all have gone missing?! Right under your nose, even!" An older male voice barked and I could practically hear my sister cringing underneath him, so I sped up and rounded the corner. I was greeted with the lovely scene of a middle-aged man holding a thin stick of some sort, probably a switch, and holding it up as if to hit my sister. My brown eyes narrowed into slits and I didn't even have to think, feet stomping in his direction.

It didn't help that my sister's face was contorted into complete and utter horror, no doubt having flashbacks of some sort. It didn't go by my attention that the teen seemed to have bags underneath her eyes, as if she hadn't slept at all the night before.

"N-No! I'm telling t-the truth." Angel sputtered, her little arms held out to block the man from potentially hurting her. It all seemed so familiar, the scene before me. Only last time, our foster mother had punished us relentlessly for the smallest of things – not folding clothes right, forgetting to wash a cup, not sweeping correctly. She'd left bruises littered across our small bodies, filling our heads with hurtful and scarring words. I was helpless, then.  _I wasn't anymore._

I wouldn't let anyone hurt my sister like that ever again.

"I can't be giving you any special treat-" The head cook didn't even get to finish his question as two piercing growls echoed throughout the room. Some of the other cooking assistants froze up, looking back at the small group near the entrance of the kitchens. Cooked meat and the familiar smell of Angel's cinnamon rolls filled my nostrils as I entered. The light flicked and swayed, casting fluttering shadows against the wall as I stood behind him.

The man slowly turned around, staring down at me in surprise. Riley was positioned just behind me and it seemed the Mabari didn't like what he was about to do, either. He was not, however, focused on the dog behind me. The assistant cooks seemed to have gone pale, though. The sounds of clattering and small talk died down and everything seemed quiet, save for the sounds of our breathing or the bubbling of the boiling stew on the stove. I grabbed the stick and ripped it out of his floury hands,

"Do you do this often?" I snarled, snapping the thing in half with my hands as I looked up and made eye contact with the man. My face, no doubt, expressed the sheer amount of  _rage_  I felt just then. He was easily two or three times the size of my dainty little sister and he was thinking of  _hitting_  her? What kind of sick man was this?! I couldn't see anything. Just this man. Him. He opened his mouth to answer but, again, couldn't. My fist flew into his face.

_**'Crack!'** _

"Ooof!" His hands flew up to his jaw as he stumbled back, face distorting into shock, then rage. His grey eyes glared down at me dangerously. I cracked my knuckles, feeling them go numb after I'd punched him. He obviously hadn't been expecting that.

"Why you –" He snapped out, lunging at me. Our bodies collided and fists were thrown, my hair was grabbed, his face was scratched. I couldn't hear anything aside from the unintelligible curses and hisses ringing through the air as we fought. He was quite obviously stronger than I, being much taller and burlier, but logic didn't even register at that point.

White hot pain exploded across my face, across my side and soon enough we were on the ground wrestling for the upper hand. At some point his apron had been torn off and forgotten on the ground somewhere.

"Someone stop them!" I heard a woman call out frantically, followed by some hurried footfalls from outside of the kitchen. My back hit the table sitting in the middle of the room, sending some of the kitchenware clattering onto the floor loudly, metal clinging and clanging. My head spun from the hit, having been thrown a good distance and had to take a moment to regain myself.

It appeared as though the man wanted to get a few more hits in, because he was about to lunge forward again but froze in place when a loud and deep bark resounded from beside him. Riley snarled and tackled him, sending him onto his back as he bared his teeth right in front of the cook's face. The man let out a girlish shriek, seeing the massive brown war dog snap it's jaws in warning as he bore his weight onto his chest.

My hands gripped a cooking utensil that happened to be laying beside me and I stood up shakily, walking toward the two.

"Wait Lyn, stop!" Angel demanded, her hands clasping around my arm and making me pause in my efforts.

"What has gotten into you two?!" I heard Cassandra's voice from the entrance of the kitchen, her armored form stomping up to me and demanding an answer. "Cease this nonsense at once and call off the dog!"

"Riley." My voice came out rough, feeling the after effects of the yelling I'd likely just done. The man on the ground was still shaking as the dog slowly backed off of him and I noticed a small wet spot near his crotch area.

I resisted the urge to smirk triumphantly.

"Who started this?" The Seeker demanded as the man stood up and glared in my direction, his face pale and full of bruises and scratches. My face likely looked the same, if not worse.

"This woman just came out of nowhere and hit me!" He accused, voice sounding just as raspy as mine. I snarled and didn't even get a chance to defend myself.

"You cannot be going around punching everyone you disagree with, Lyn." Cassandra looked as though she disapproved of my unruly behavior greatly and I scowled at her.

"Oh, and I suppose it is suddenly okay to beat the kitchen staff?" I scoffed, pointing the object in my hand at her angrily. It was a wooden spoon, not the most threatening thing in the world. Damn it. The Seeker blinked, staring down at the wooden utensil. "A little barbaric, don't you think?"

"I'll tell you what's barbaric! Punching an old man in the face!" The head cook snapped back, smoothing out his greying hair, jaw set in anger. Old, my ass! He looked barely a day over 45!

"I was protecting my little sister from a sleaze bag like you!" I retorted, feeling the urge to stomp my foot childishly. The tension in the room was almost palpable, his body stiffening and getting ready to fight again.

He was going to offer a rebuttal but was, again, cut off as a whipped the wooden spoon at the man and hit him in the chest.  _'Snap!'_  A vein bulged on his forehead as his body tensed and got ready to lunge. I readied myself accordingly, only I didn't have to. Cassandra stepped between the two of us and thrust her hands out.

"Enough!" She ordered, leaving no room for disagreement.

"Look, we'll work something out but the two of you need to stop it  _this instant!"_  Lavellan's voice caused any of the idle shouts and whispers in the room to come to an abrupt halt.

"Inquisitor..." The middle-aged cook loosened his stance and took a step back.

"I'm the one tha' did it." Sera spoke up, "I stole all the lard yesterday for a prank, no need to get yer breeches in a twist. Sheesh!"

The cook looked absolutely furious again, as he looked at the blonde elf. It was obvious that she'd done more than her fair share of hell raising in the past, the look on his face said it all. Lavellan let out an exasperated sigh, shaking her head at the blonde rogue that stood right beside her.

"Sera."

"Oh, come on Inky. You remember tha' one time –"

"No!" The Inquisitor's face flushed, her hands flying up as she denied whatever Sera was about to say. She soon recovered and straightened her posture, looking at the scene before her yet again. Letting out a cough into her hands, she spoke. "Max, we will speak of this in private. Angel, you have the day off. Lyn, we need to have a talk too."

Her voice was stern, but her grey eyes still held kindness. There was no way I could even get angry at that woman, was there? I crossed my arms defiantly and snapped my attention toward my little sister. She was standing beside me, twirling her dark hair nervously in her thin fingers as she forced herself to stare at the floorboards.

"Right, well. She needs sleep." I ground out, motioning toward Angel as I grabbed at her sleeve gently and tugging at it. She got the idea, because she followed me as I stomped by the small group that had formed during the fight. I didn't miss the way the head cook, Max, seemed to glare at me as I walked by. Not being able to resist myself, I flipped him off and scuttled out the door before he could respond.

Do they even know what that means here, anyway?

Angel's light footsteps pitter pattered up the worn staircase as she made her way toward her bedroom on the third floor. I couldn't see her expression, but the way her shoulders were tensed told me that she was not in a good mood.

My feet followed as if on their own accord, positioning me right in her doorway. She stopped in the middle of her room and her body shook, her arms held in front of her as she looked toward her cracked window. The light shone in, lighting up the floorboards beneath our feet. The teen slowly turned around, her hands idly grabbing at her hair to take it out of the ponytail – face a picture of melancholy.

"I'm sorry." She was the one to speak first, taking the words right out of my mouth.  _She_  was sorry?

"Me too." I grumbled, feeling the anger from earlier slowly wash away with the silence that her room offered. The seclusion from the other people helping my body wind down as I idly dabbed my face with a cloth I'd pulled from my pocket.

"I don't want it." I heard her murmur forlornly, her eyes misting over as she stood next to her bed frame. "I don't want to be possessed. I didn't ask for this! I don't want to be hated, especially not by you."

It was the first time I was hearing her insecurities about magic, to be honest. She'd been doing an okay job at hiding her hesitance to the art.

"You're scared. I'd never hate you, despite our differing opinions and clashing views." I stated the obvious, not sure of what else I was supposed to say. I mean, I think we can all agree that I was shit at making people feel better. If anything, the things that usually tumbled out of my mouth at crucial times such as this were often hurtful and only made things worse. Even if I did not intend to hurt someone, it eventually happens.

"B-But that's not all! I'm not like you, Lyn!" She wailed, "I can't be afraid and try to be better because of it. I hide and hide and... I d-don't – I can't do this!"

"I never said you were." I snapped, seeing her flinch away and take a step back. I grimace at my insensitive tone and continue in a much softer one, albeit with a bit of difficulty. "Look, I can't pretend to understand why you kept the things you did from me. It hurt, I won't lie. What I can understand is being scared, though. You can't always run, Angel."

"B-But I-I'm so scared."

"If you can't be strong for yourself, be strong for them." It was the first time I'd revealed to her just how I'd been able to be 'strong' for them, since I was the eldest. This caused her to stare at me for a few moments before she went back to looking at her feet, breathing slowly starting to calm down.

We sat there in silence for I don't know how long. She was sniffling and staring at the floorboards while I stared at her with a carefully blank expression on my face. With one last sniff, she turned her watery brown eyes up at me.

"Solas knew. I never told him. I never told anyone." Angel explained, her hands picking at the dried dough on her hands from working in the kitchens only minutes ago. "He knew before I even told him and he's not even a templar. Is that a mage-thing, too? To know other mages?"

"I don't know." I furrowed my brows, "Did Eren know right off the bat?"

"No... they … the abilities manifested when the family that took me in was attacked. The whole hut burst into flames b-because I – I."

I held up my hand to stop her, knowing that repeating an awful memory could sometimes be pretty painful. I had yet to talk much about some of the things that had happened to me during my stay on Thedas. It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows, that was for damn sure. But she continued anyway, as if she hadn't seen my gesture at all.

"Their little hut was outside of Redcliffe. Outside of the walls. The battles were rumored to have been getting closer and they – they didn't want to leave." Her voice slowly got quieter, "Eventually they were attacked, too. I was there. I watched it happen and I killed them for it."

"You... killed them?" I repeated in almost a whisper, almost not wanting to believe my innocent little sister had to kill someone so soon after arriving. Much sooner than I, actually. It was chilling and even though I had no control over it, I felt as though I should have been there. If the way she seemed to almost curl into herself minutely was anything to go by, she was telling the truth. She hadn't wanted me to know. Did she think I would look down on her for protecting herself?!

"I was so angry.  _Furious_. Those people didn't deserve to die like that." The teen's voice shook, face an open book. Many emotions passed through her face, then – anger, disgust, but most of all fear. Fear of herself. "It felt like something inside of me grew and expanded, demanding to be released and – and the next thing I knew everything was on fire and so were they. Then Eren was there. He always was."

When I didn't answer, it wasn't even a minute before she started to cry again. I shifted uneasily, not sure how I was supposed to go about offering support. My being there to listen was usually enough and weren't we trying to reconcile? That's it, right? But it only seemed to be making her mental state even worse. I knew this, especially when I saw her starting to claw at her arm with one of her hands. Nails digging into flesh as she shook.

"I killed them. I did it. I'm a monster. My fault." Angel's voice came out choppy and she hiccuped a few times. I recognized what she was going through, just then. The exact thing I was feeling after killing. Though I'd had many people there for me for reassurance. She only had Eren. "W-what if I do it again? Madame Vivienne is teaching me, but what if I hurt more people? _Good people?_ "

Taking a small step forward, I didn't miss the way she flinched again. I sighed and set my hand on her head, giving her a gentle pat. Her actions paused for a second, sobbing slowly dying down.

"Mages are feared for a reason, Angel. Because of how unpredictable and dangerous it is to be one. But Vivienne and Solas are two people I know would be good at teaching you how to better control it." I paused, face scrunching slightly as I thought about what else to say. "The things in this world work differently. You need to kill or be killed, sometimes. You did what you did because you  _had_  to, not because you wanted to. That's what matters."

"I thought you hated Vivienne and Solas." Angel muttered underneath her breath after a few beats of silence. Her voice not stained with grief but rather muted sadness.

" _Hate_  is a strong word. More like dislike, but I will not disagree that they are good at what they do." Though if I were to pick, I'd much rather be around Solas than Vivienne. The woman was insufferable and a bit too stuck-up for my liking. "I hate our foster mother. I hate Corypheus. But what I don't hate, is those two. Though I'd much rather you take most of your knowledge from Solas. I do not trust Vivienne."

Solas, at the very least, kept a polite distance and didn't talk to me if I didn't talk to him. It was a mutual thing, unless one of us did something the other so obviously disapproved of. Vivienne seemed to want to put in her opinion regardless. On more than one occasion I'd simply walked away like I hadn't heard her. It took a few times, but she eventually got that I didn't want to associate myself with her. I realize, in a sense, I had been acting a bit stuck-up as well. But it was far better than snapping at her or throwing a pastry on her head (I'd been tempted to, once.).

I snapped my attention to Angel when I heard her let out a watery giggle, her hands rubbing at her eyes to clear away the stray tears. "Solas is really nice, you should give him a chance."

This caused me to squint at her, crossing my arms in the process. "I'll admit, the hobo-mage has his uses."

We stared at one another for awhile before we lapsed into silence, though it wasn't comfortable. It wasn't awkward, neither. There was still something there, as if a small wedge had been driven between the two of us. We said our goodbyes and slowly walked away.

We'd reconciled, right? So why did it feel so … it still hurt. Sure she had been scared, but I had been too. I never held something that important from her. I shrugged off the empty ache that was forming in my chest and made my way out toward the barn to continue my work.

* * *

Not even a day later, I found myself positioned up on the perch that Vivienne now called hers. Her pristine white couch positioned right across from two chairs that Lavellan and I now occupied. Books and stacks of parchment littered the small table in front of us. I shifted uncomfortably as we spoke.

Evidently, Lavellan decided it to be a good idea to coach me on a few things so that I didn't go to the Ball completely unprepared. It would be like tossing me into shark infested waters, no doubt. At least this way I could disguise myself as said sharks.

I was to learn how to at least be civil with new people who talk to me at the Ball and that I needed to act like a 'lady'. Beforehand, however, I'd had a small chat with the Inquisitor about what I was to be doing. To which she replied with 'mingle' and if I heard anything, write up a report for Leliana.

I had no idea what mingling was.

Report writing and gathering information didn't sound too hard, though. I was good at listening and watching people, even better at writing reports – since I'd taken a class for it.

"Josie was busy, but Madame Vivienne was free so the two of us will have to do for now." Lavellan explained, flicking her rusty colored hair off to the side as she sat up straight in her chair beside me.

I was seated on a plush chair and sat like I normally did, kind of slumped with my legs spread slightly. To put it simply, I sat like a man did.

"More than one session may be required, Inquisitor." Vivienne commented, looking down at me with a slight frown on her face from her spot on her couch.

"Oh, come on. I'm not that bad, am I?" I asked, getting a skeptical look out of the wavy haired elf that sat across from the mage. Okay, there were perks to the picked up habits I'd gotten from my brothers/cousins. Apparently _this_  wasn't one of them.

"Don't worry about it, I had to learn too." Lavellan commented mildly and I knew that what I was going to go through was probably less than she had to. The elf was the Inquisitor, leader of the Inquisition. Not counting the fact that she was dalish and some of the things she learned were probably just as new to her as they were to me. Poor woman.

And that's how I spend the majority of my afternoon. Not that it bothered me much, considering it was either this or standing out and doing work down at the stables. And to be perfectly honest? These passed few days, I've really had nothing to do anyway. Days passing by with only my work to do down in the stables usually left me with quiet time to think and dread what I was going to encounter at this Winter Ball they were forcing me to go to.

I didn't want to go.

I let out an aggravated sigh as I sat the way they'd taught me, Lynn and Vivienne taking turns pointing out the things I did wrong in their little thought up scenarios. That was all it was, really. Them bagging on me and telling me how  _wrong_  I did things. Apparently it was unladylike to do many things. Almost everything I did was considered 'unladylike'.

It was like a horrible flashback of when I was at my Aunt's house. I had good memories there, yeah. But my Aunt was so up in arms about making sure I was a  _proper_  lady that she forced me to wear dresses and girl clothing. Anything else was tossed.

That is, until I rebelled.

I let out an evil chuckle, head bowed as I stared up at the two through my messy waves. That was a story for another time, however. They stopped talking – something about poise and how important it was – and stared at me with a rather perturbed expression. Though Vivienne's face looked the same, as per usual, but I could tell she was either confused or shocked.

I felt something thin smack the top of my head and I let out a yelp, hands flying onto the crown of my head. I scowled up at Lavellan, who had a stick of some sort in her hand. My eyes flashed for a second, remembering what the cook had almost done to my sister. The young elf had looked playful but at my serious expression, her face had faltered.

"This is serious, Lyn. You must at least be able to pretend and blend in at the Ball. Lest you wish to get kicked out." The Inquisitor coughed, returning into her professional and serious mode.

"I wouldn't really care, either way."

"Unfortunately Dear, your actions will reflect onto the Inquisition in a negative light if that were the case. If you're to be attending next to Lady Inquisitor, your behavior-" Vivienne was cut off when I spoke up, my feet tapping irritatedly on the stone floor.

"Why don't you just come out and tell me how uncivilized and barbaric you think I am?" I snapped, feeling my brows scrunch in frustration. It was quite obvious, at this point. The Orlesian mage stood up straighter, her hands folded elegantly in front of her body as she stared down at me.

"Even one as cantankerous as yourself can be reformed." She informed and I felt my eyebrow twitch. I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult, to be honest. Maybe it was both? I didn't disagree, though. I could be kind of difficult at times (most of the time). So I let out a sigh and rubbed between my brows with my thumb and forefinger, thinking about how fucking hard this was.

It was harder than I thought it would be. I was interrupted from my thoughts when Lavellan began to speak from her spot beside me.

"At the very least be able to  _act_  like it. It'll be a learning experience! Let us try social interactions, it should prove to be easier. Pretend I'm someone new walking up to you." Ah, here comes another imagined scenario. She stood up and motioned for me to do the same, leaving us facing one another almost awkwardly as she squared her shoulders. The Inquisitor schooled her face into indifference and walked up to me. "I hear you work underneath the Inquisitor. _"_  She mimicked in a ridiculously sounding prissy tone.

"Mind your own fucking business." Came my snappy reply, it had been almost out of instinct. Lynn facepalmed and Vivienne looked absolutely horrified.

"N-No! Try again." The elf repeated the same question in the same tone of voice and my face scrunched as if I'd tasted a lemon.

" _Thanks …_ now leave." It sounded like it was almost painful for me to say that first word, the two looked exasperated at my second attempt. I added almost helplessly, "Please?"

"We've got our work cut out for us, dear." Was Vivienne's declaration as she stared at me up and down. I suppose not just my manner of speaking, either. It was also my appearance, which was probably that of a shaggy dog. My choice in clothing was probably considered an outrage to the Orlesian mage. Dorian had made sure to point that out more than once, in his not-so-subtle ways when we were out on missions or speaking in the main hall.

The sky outside of the balcony behind Vivienne's usual area was starting to turn hues of red and reddish-orange as the sun made it's descent. Already all of the information I was gaining from today was starting to give me a raging headache as I sat in a chair listening to them prattle on. Lynn still looked her chipper and lighthearted self. I knew instantly that the woman would have no problems, aside from the fact that she was an elf, fitting in at the Winter Ball.

Vivienne was showing minute signs of irritation after hours and hours of my sarcastic comebacks and snappish remarks. To which they both reprimanded me and told me I wasn't allowed to do that, because 'The Game' was very serious and brutal.

I disagreed. 'The Game' was created by a flock of sheep that needed a reason to act a certain way and treat one another like absolute shit. An overly-simplified explanation of it. Politics never interested me. But it was like high school all over again, having to pretend to be someone you're not to make someone else like you.

And if they didn't, everyone else didn't either.

These things never made sense to me.

Then came the conversation about facial expressions. I wanted to point out the fact that Vivienne always had a 'bitch-face' going on, but decided not to because I didn't want to get frozen into a Lyn-cicle. Though, at this point, I doubt the mage would lay a finger on me since Lavellan was with Sera and the both of them considered me a close friend.

Right? I mean, that's what I thought –

Then I heard the Inquisitor say something that I hadn't heard because my thoughts had been too loud, yet again. Shaking my head, I turned my gaze up at the wavy haired elf.

"You want me to what?"

"Smile. It's not that hard, see? Like this." Lavellan smiled kindly, which made her look cuter. I scowled, knowing damn well that I would never be able to replicate that. She's insane. "No no, you've got it all wrong."

We heard the pitter-patter of light footsteps coming up the staircase before the door opened, revealing a timid looking elf.

"This is perfect." Lavellan whispered not so silently, gesturing toward the servant girl slowly walking toward us. "Take the book from her and thank her for bringing it to us."

Right, shouldn't be hard.

I straightened my back and walked up to the elf with purpose, meeting her halfway across the room. She had short brown hair, and upon closer inspection she was the same timid elf that fed me back in Haven. I'd scared her, for some odd reason, while I was in the cells. Never was good with names, but I never forget a face.

I grunted at the thought, causing the small girl to look up at me with wide eyes. I grabbed the book out of her hands and nodded, "Thanks."

My body tensed when I heard her take a sharp intake of breath, obviously having been startled. I paused, rethinking what I'd done. That was all wrong.

"Wait, I did that wrong. Let me try again." I handed the book back to her and she took it without question and stood there awkwardly. "Thank …  _you_  for delivering – this?"

When I held my hand out, the elf simply stared at me with wide eyes. She looked completely and utterly confused and didn't even attempt to hand me the book. Did I say it wrong? This was much harder than I thought it would be. Stupid. Oh!

I cracked a smile and tilted my head and the girl's face paled before she held the book out to me shakily. "H-H-Here, Ma'am! Y-You may take it! Take it!"

I fumbled to grab the thing and she promptly turned around, obviously scared, and scurried out of the room in haste. When I slowly turned my gaze over to my two mentors, Lavellan had a hand on her face while Vivienne stared at me like I was some uncultured cow. And I probably was. I couldn't even thank someone properly for bringing us a book. My shoulders slumped.

"Okay, maybe that's not such a good idea."

"I've got just the thing, my dear." Vivienne strode over toward her white lounging couch and grabbed a ridiculously fluffy looking fan.

I sighed. That was how I learned how to pretend to be 'shy' and hide my expressions behind a fan.

* * *

That night, we were all relaxing in the tavern after doing all of our normal duties. I, of course, had just finished with my abrupt training session with both Lavellan and Vivienne. Angel had made cake and pastries for everyone in celebration of someone's birthday. Though I was unsure of who's (probably one of her co-workers), not that I particularly cared.

I watched as Sera slowly made her way over to the table we were sitting at and couldn't help it. The elf looked completely distracted as she looked at Lynn, who was staring lovingly up at her as she held a plate full of cake for the both of them. It'd been awhile since I raised some hell with the blonde elf, so why not?

Looking around nonchalantly, I 'stretched' and her foot hooked onto my leg by 'accident'. I watched as Sera tripped forward – almost in slow motion – and the plate of cake was sent upside down onto Lynn's chest.

"Eugh!" The Inquisitor whined, looking down at her ruined clothing. What made it worse, was the fact that it was a cute looking outfit too. Well, cute on her. If I tried to wear something like that I'd probably get weird looks. "I just changed, Sera!"

"The hell, man?!" Sera yelled, looking over at me accusingly. I held my arms up and shrugged, looking at her unapologetically.

"Heh, oops. Had to stretch and you kinda got in the way." I explained, watching as her face turned sour and I tried to suppress my giggle that wanted to erupt from my mouth. Bull and Cole were sitting on the other end of the table watching the whole thing go down quietly. They probably didn't want to anger a couple of women.

"Now my chest is all sticky..." The Inquisitor wiped as much of it off with her hands as she could, but only ended up getting it all over. I couldn't help but notice the hungry look Bull was giving the poor elf at the moment. And it wasn't because of the cake on her chest. Oh  _shiiiiit_. Sera was staring down at her with a wicked grin on her face, the same look in her eye that the Qunari was giving.

"Don' worry Inky, I could clean it off for ya." The blonde elf spoke in a suggestive tone, causing a few of the others to pause in their eating. Even I froze up and watched as Lavellan's eyes got wide and a huge cheesy smile spread across her face, cheeks tinting a bright shade of pink.

" _Hmmm,_ I think I'll take that offer." The wavy haired elf chuckled as she grabbed Sera's hand. Horndogs!

Soon enough, both elves strutted off toward Sera's room just upstairs and the table was left in dead silence. Aside from the sound of the forgotten plate on the ground getting jiggled around as Riley cleaned it off. It stayed like that for awhile before Cole broke said silence in his usual way.

"Sera thinks the taste would be somehow better – sweeter – soft lips caress sensitive flesh. Teasing, trailing, traveling lower and lower … and." The way he said it so passively, as if speaking of the weather, caused me to shift uncomfortably. "Why would she want to  _lick_  it off? To make it mean more. A brighter burst, a fuller feeling?"

Cole mused to himself as he sat there in his chair concentrating on the worn out table in front of him. I swear to God, listening to him talk sometimes was like listening to a smutty audiobook. Though this little comment was one of this milder ones.

I wasn't even sure how I was supposed to respond. Any other time I'd have likely laughed, but this was Lynn and Sera he was talking about. Two of my friends that I'd … rather not hear intimate thoughts about.

"Because women like that kinda shit." Bull answered bluntly and I felt my face turn pink as an image of what Sera and Lynn were likely doing in their room popped into my head. Well, you've got to give me points. I tried not to imagine it and I made it that far.

"You're a pervert." I mumbled, trying my utmost hardest not to let the horror show on my face. Why was he telling him these things?!

"Like her." He pointed at me, obviously having picked up on my discomfort. Ass. "We know, deep down inside, she would like it too. Can't you tell?"

I wanted to offer a rebuttal, but my imagination decided to grant me with another lovely gift just then. Cole licking cake off of … off of – my brain sputtered and I screeched inwardly at the image, trying to beat it out of my mind as my face started to turn from pink to a beet red. The worst part about it? I wouldn't exactly hate it. If anything – no. Stop! Cole seemed to stare at me for awhile before he nodded in confirmation.

_Yeah. He saw it._

I looked down at my cake to hide my expression, hair falling in my face as I stuffed a piece into my mouth to keep myself from blurting something I'd regret. I sat there and chewed quietly for awhile, enjoying my food and letting my nerves calm down before –

"The Iron Bull." Cole spoke carefully, "I feel really angry when you think about her like that. I want to hit you."

I promptly choked on my cake, coughing as I grabbed my drink to wash it down. I really did not want to hear Bull's lewd thoughts. No! What the hell!?

"Oh, sorry kid." Bull tried to apologize and I growled in response as I got up to stomp off, my face completely red all the way to my ears. "Heh, I didn't know humans came in that color."

Actually, humans came in a variety of different colors. Paler people seemed to turn more colors than us tanner people, though. Which I was grateful that I wasn't as pale as say – Cole. Embarrassing situations would make me change a plethora of colors and I'd light up like a Christmas tree.

I paused in my spot near one of the pillars and overheard Angel talking enthusiastically to a few people about the holidays from our world. My hearing slowly tuned into their conversation as I stood somewhere near the back and mostly out of sight.

"...people back in your world walk to each others … homes and ask for sweets? Because of this holiday?" I heard Cassandra ask curiously, her accent more prominent in her obvious confusion at the concept itself. It  _was_  kind of weird, now that I thought about it.

"Halloween, yeah! It's awesome, because you can dress up as whatever you want. The kids usually try to be scary but only end up looking like cute little monsters. Rawr!" Angel pawed at the air with a ridiculous look on her face. I stared blankly, seeing the confused faces of some of the others. She was trying to explain some of the holidays we celebrated back in our home world and it wasn't really going that well. It seemed to only confuse the poor bastards.

It brought a memory forth of when Angel asked me what she should be for Halloween, because she actually wanted to be scary when she handed out candy to the kids. I simply replied in a deadpan tone, 'Wipe off your makeup.'

That did not turn out well on my end.

Of course I didn't think she was ugly, it was simply meant to be a joke at the time. A joke that nearly cost me my face, because I didn't even have to dress up to scare the kids. My face did not look pretty.

She then began to explain to them about Christmas, which I did not want to be around to hear. I mean, how would one even begin to explain that a mass majority of parents made their kids believe in a fat man that dresses in red – magically stuffs himself down a chimney to deliver presents to 'good kids'?

"Is he a mage, is that how he can get down the chimneys?" Varric asked with a small smile forming on his face. "I thought you said that there were no mages in your world."

Apparently not many were informed of that little detail. Which came off as odd, to me. Rumors and information usually circulated within the Inner Circle like wildfire.

"There aren't." Angel reassured, though now that I knew I could hear the telltale signs of a lie beneath that tone. Before, I would have assumed her to be exasperated from the question itself.

"Or to deliver that many presents to everyone in the world in one night for that matter, did he use blood magic?" That question came from the Seeker.

"No!"

I let out an irritated groan and walked away. Angel can deal with that. She brought it upon herself, after all.

* * *

These passed few days, the training sessions sometimes included either Josephine or Vivienne alongside Lynn. Technically, it was whoever was available. At times it would only be one of them, though the sessions were often short and occurred during random times during the day. Again, whenever they had time.

I thought it was a little bullshit that no one else needed these sessions other than me. Even Sera, who had idly made a jab about even  _she_  could at least  _act_  'like a rich tit' and blend in. To which I'd stuck my tongue out childishly and made a face.

I stretched, my back making cracking noises as I stood up from the chair provided for me in the Ambassador's office. Today had been mostly lecture about The Game and how they'd compared it to the game of Wicked Grace that we'd played so long ago. Where the others not knowing your hand was crucial.

I was good at hiding the emotion from my  _voice_ , but not my  _face_. So I was shit at lying. Nothing new there. They'd said only those from noble houses got to wear masks and were usually designed for that specific house, so me even wearing a mask was a no-go.

What I wouldn't give for Cole's ability to walk and talk with a straight face all the time. This was getting old. Maybe I could pretend to be sick that day, like I did whenever I didn't want to go to school back on Earth?

**Third Person**

Cole stood in the huge stone archway at the end of the main hall of Skyhold fortress. The large ornate door was cracked, allowing passage for everyone to freely enter or leave at their leisure. Some of the people walking by would sometimes give him sideways glances and raised eyebrows. He was starting to slowly get used to being seen, though sometimes it made him uncomfortable. The rogue seemed to fidget in place even more once he saw the familiar form of Lyn walking out of the Ambassador's office and toward him.

Why was he nervous and why was Lyn staring at him oddly now, as well? He'd recently had a small talk with Dorian, among many others as of late, wondering idly if he was handsome at all. Because he wanted to be handsome for Lyn. People dressed up for their significant others, right? Cole has seen it happen on more than one occasion and he wanted to make her happy. He wanted her to smile.

So he'd went out and bought one of those Orlesian hats at the vendor down in the lower courtyard. It was a vivid purple color with soft fluffy feathers sticking out the side, his usual floppy leather hat sat in his room in the Herald's Rest. Cole was doing it because Dorian had told him to 'rethink his hats'. He only hoped he was doing it right.

When she was standing in front of him, he opened his mouth to speak but she held up her hand and looked around cautiously. The woman motioned toward the small space between the door and the hall, which contained boxes, barrels and cleaning materials for the servants.

"Uuuuh... what's with the new hat?" Was her first question as they stood in a semi-secluded area. She kept her voice low, trying not to draw any more attention from any of the people milling about. The cool air from outside shifted into the small space, brushing the side of his face as he stood in front of her nervously.

"I'm trying to be handsome." Was his simple reply, as if it answered all of my questions that seemed to roll off of her in whispers. Cole usually tried to listen to them all, but was distracted by the way her brown eyes seemed to sparkle from the torchlight as he answered her, a small smile forming on her face.

Her laughter chimed through the air, causing him to blink confusedly at the effect it seemed to have on him. His thoughts seemingly derailed completely. Lyn looked prettier when she smiled like that, face not at all marred by the anger or irritation she usually used as a mask. It made his stomach do flips and he found himself smiling along with her.

"Y-You're so cute! I love it." She spoke after her laughter subsided. Her eyes went wide as if she realized what she had been doing and she coughed into her fist, schooling her features. "I-I mean –- ah –- it looks good."

"Am I doing it right?" Cole shifted on his feet, just now remembering his previous mission. He felt the significantly smaller hat shift atop his head. The rogue already missed his old one.

"You're always doing it right. I think so, anyway. But why your hat, of all things?" She asked, her lips still twitching – begging to smile again. He wondered why she always prevented herself from doing so.

"I asked Dorian if I looked handsome, but he told me to rethink my hats..."

"Do you think I'd look more pretty if I wore women's clothing?" She asked and they both tilted their heads in unison.

"But you're already pretty." He spoke softly and Lyn seemed to wait for the words to slowly sink into his head. What they wore didn't matter. Cole chuckled, suddenly feeling a little foolish. "I see."

"It's the thought that counts." She playfully tapped the brim of the gaudy purple hat, "You don't need this to look handsome."

Humans had some really odd traditions that Cole hoped to one day at least try and understand. This being one of them. Though it got him thinking,

"What is it like being human?" He asked quietly, "People change a lot throughout their short lives. The world around shapes who they are. It's … different." Different than what he had known before.

"It is hard and I've been human all my life. You're doing pretty good, considering the circumstances." She reassured, "The world shapes us as we grow older, yeah. But you also shape the world, in your head."

The fire from the torches crackled, the low drone of conversation on the other side of the wall filled the silence that ensued after her statement. How does one shape the world if they are not in the Fade, he wondered? She seemed to catch onto his question, even though she could not hear his thoughts.

"The way we view and feel about things can often distort how we see the world. Such as, when I was younger I thought the world to be beautiful and so full of color. But over time, I started to see things differently and the world changed." Lyn placed her finger beneath her chin and looked at him thoughtfully, "As humans – no, people. As people living on this planet, we experience the good and the bad. We feel it, too. It doesn't make us inherently evil if we feel negative emotions, right?" She nodded as if thinking on her words, "I am angry a lot, I sometimes even hate people. The feeling can sometimes get so intense that it blinds my judgment, my senses. You've seen that."

"Yes." Cole spoke quietly, remembering the times that she's thrown herself in harms way in her fits of anger. Being human came with both good and evil. Light and dark. It seemed Cole still had a hard time grasping that it was okay to feel both. She fully intended to at least try and help him see.

"Being human could be a blessing … and it may even be a curse. It's up to you to decide." Her arm fell to her side as she scuffed her boot on the stone foor beneath them. "I thought it to be only the latter, at some point. But you made it so that I was able to see  _both_."

"I helped you learn, opened your eyes to see the world again. Brighter, more vivid and beautiful. Not all people are bad, not everyone is the same." Cole rocked back and forth, eyes focused on her face as she nodded in affirmation. "You also help me learn, too. So that I can understand, grow, see more. We help each other."

"It is not an uncommon practice. Helping one another, that is." She grabbed his hand and held it. "My point being, though. We all have secrets that fester in our hearts. I'm sure you've seen your fair share of them, being able to do what you do. We don't contort into something evil or sinister unless we allow it to." She gently placed her free hand on his chest. "You have to have a strong heart." Her hand slowly trailed up to his forehead, "And a strong mind. Just don't give up and everything will be fine."

Right, because if he wasn't strong in heart and mind he wouldn't have gotten as far as he has already.

" _'Never give up. It's okay to fall_ _down_ _, but_ always _get back up.'_ " He repeated the words she'd said to him all that time back and a smile slowly crept onto her face as a result, obviously having recognized them. "I … I think I see. The world was different when I changed – more color, vivid, so real. Things weren't still, stagnant, the same. Undefined. People are like that, too."

"As a result, so are you. Where there is light, there is also dark." She spoke thoughtfully, putting her hand underneath his chin. Lyn was trying to think of something, if her scrunched eyebrows and muddled thoughts were anything to go by.

"The stars can't shine without a little darkness." Cole's lips twitched into a small smile, "You are my star, my light in the dark." He stated matter-of-factly and her expression melted as she grinned up at him.

He could be so incredibly cheesy sometimes, but it was cute. It's just him.

* * *

He watched as the two continued to speak softly, both staring at one another with boundless affection only two lovers would contain. Their conversation from before slowly ringing through his head as he sat positioned on the other side of the wall. He'd intended to stop Lyn and speak to her about some of the theories he'd come up with during his studies. But it seemed she scurried off toward Cole too quickly for him to catch her.

Solas realized then that she wasn't as horrid as he'd originally thought her to be. The feelings she claimed she had were genuine, although he suspected as such. He still, however, had his fears about what would happen to the spirit once they started to become more intimate. Though not as prominent as before, as the days went by the likelihood of it ever happening since his change lessened as he rooted himself to this world.

He squared his shoulders and walked off toward the rotunda, leaving the two to their business. After much thought and digging in the Fade through the girls' dreams he'd come to theorize that the Fade did, indeed, exist in their world.

As for if there were mages there, he did not know. It was entirely possible that they were simply in hiding, but that seemed unlikely. Their governing powers would not allow for it to happen and it would come with catastrophic consequences. He'd imagine, as war obsessed her home country seemed to be, they'd have been harnessed as weapons by now. Perhaps the people with magical talents were seen as something else?

It was a subject that he intended to eventually bring up to the otherworlder. Some insight would assist in his findings and how he dealt with them. Because he had an  _idea_  how to send them back, but it was not solid evidence.

**First Person**

Lynn had summoned me to meet her up in the main hall of Skyhold, which had me believing there was another training session. I'd seen her talking to Sera and a few of the other women up where Vivienne was, but never paid it any mind. Now, I suppose it was my turn. What were they talking about, I wonder? Was this just another lecture?

More than once, I'd contemplated bringing some parchment and one of my pencils so I could take notes like a good girl.

I was promptly lead upstairs and near a balcony, a pristine white couch and some plush chairs sat in front of the open patio door as usual. There were windows around the balcony door, as well, letting the sunlight pour in and light up the area with a harsh glow. It made me squint for awhile as I let my eyes adjust.

Lynn was at my right, looking positively pleased with herself that I had so willingly come along. I didn't like the look on her face and I stared at her rather suspiciously. Vivienne, for the most part, looked at me stoically as I stood there in my everyday clothing.

The tanned woman looked at me up and down, a minute frown forming on her face and I could already tell that she didn't like what I was in. I stood there, in a baggy long sleeve and some men's cargo pants. Clothing I'd kept from Earth, to put it simply. My hair was still standing on end from my run up here, some of the strands hanging loosely in front of my face.

"So what do you think, Vivienne. Any ideas?" Lynn's accented voice spoke up as she looked over at the mage. They seemed to stare at each other for awhile, as if having a silent conversation with their eyes. How do women do that?! I'm a woman myself, but I've never understood. The downfalls of growing up with brothers, I'd assume.

"You really do like giving me a hard time, don't you Inquisitor?" Vivienne's graceful tone rang through the area as she turned her gaze from the Inquisitor and over to me, "You need to take your clothes off so that we can get your measurements. If you would please?" She waved her hand slowly an elegant air to her and I shrugged, not wanting to piss the older woman off.

"What, dare I ask, do you need my measurements for?" I spoke slowly, taking off the rest of my clothing. I stood there in a black bra, my carved wooden necklace, and my rainbow polka dotted panties. I silently cursed, wishing I'd put on my sports bra before I came up here, or maybe at least a different and plainer pair of panties. Lynn looked at them, seemingly amused at my taste in underwear. Ugh.

At least they were not plaideweave.  _That_  would be embarrassing.

"Where ever did you get those things?" Vivienne seemed almost interested, looking down at them. I bit the inside of my cheek and ignored her, looking at the stone wall at my side. Some shelves were positioned just underneath a torch, books lining them haphazardly.

Someone walked up to me with a flimsy tape measure of some sort and began their work. I hadn't even noticed him, which was kind of odd. I stared blankly at the two as they seemed to appraise me like I was some animal at an auction.

"You don't expect to go into Empress Celene's ball dressed like that, do you? Absolutely dreadful." Vivienne sounded almost appalled as she answered my previous question about my measurements. I blinked slowly. I suppose not, "You hide a lot underneath those rags, dear. Why do you wear them?"

"They're comfortable." I stated rather blandly, not really liking that I was already being criticized. The tanned mage looked like she disapproved with my reasoning. When the man was done with my measurements and writing them down on a piece of parchment, he approached Vivienne cautiously and handed the paper to her. Her brown eyes flicked over the paper before she turned to Lynn.

"You're in luck, Inquisitor. I have a few that should fit nicely." The mage flicked her wrist to the side, "We can have a tailor fix it accordingly."

"That's wonderful!" The Inquisitor sounded happy as she smiled up at the mage gratefully. Wait... what were these women up to? I didn't like the tones of their voices just then.

"Please don't tell me-" I watched as the man that had been taking my measurements pulled out a few dresses to show Vivienne. The mage held them up next to me, as if imagining what they'd look like. The first one was a no. The second, however, she seemed to look pleased and handed it to Lynn. I squinted my eyes. "C-Can't I just wear... some men's clothes or something? I'm n-not really a  _dress_  … person. A suit! Preferably a suit!"

"Nonsense, dear. Why waste such potential?" She motions toward my boobs and my hips, causing me to scrunch my nose in distaste. "Rufus, if you would please?"

Heh. His name was Rufus. What a dork.

"Of course, Madame." I choked and backed up, looking at the thing like it was going to bite me.

"Fuck no! I am  _not_  putting that shit on." I spat, holding my hands up as if to shield myself from the stupid thing. It was so … so …  _frilly_. And it looked as if it would show off my shoulders and chest area, which I did  _not_  approve of. There was a reason I wore baggy clothing, assholes!

"Aw, come on! Live a little, Lyn." The Inquisitor grinned, holding my clothing. I glared at her and held my hand out.

"I absolutely refuse to put that hideous thing on, now give me back my clothes." I heard Vivienne make a noise that sounded suspiciously like a scoff, but it was so quiet I couldn't really hear it.

"Not until you try on the dress." Lynn said impishly, throwing my clothing out of reach onto the balcony and standing in my way. I squawked, wriggling my fingers like I wanted to strangle her. And I did, very much so. I wanted to wring that little elven neck!

"It'll only take a minute, no hassle." Vivienne assured, trying to coax me down enough to try the damn thing on. I glared at her, feeling the urge to –

"Itching, buzzing in your chest. Anger. You want to punch her,  _but you shouldn't_." Cole's voice came out of nowhere and sounded like he was trying to chastise me, which was surprising. He was right, though. I shouldn't. I saw Vivienne's face turn into that of mild disgust (Which is a feat, mind you. She's usually pretty good at hiding her emotions.) as she saw Cole at my side. I sighed in relief, looking over at him. He always did pop up at the most opportune times.

"Cole." I greeted, stepping back and hiding behind him to use him as a shield. Take that, Vivienne! Let's see you come and get me now. Because I knew just how much she disliked Cole.

I cackled evilly in my head, causing him to jump and look back at me confusedly. I clutched his arm and started to nudge him forward with my body. "Now, can I get my clothes back?"

"Cole, what did I say about coming up here when we're getting measurements?" I take it this is a thing? I wanted to laugh that he'd likely stood up here and startled a few ladies as they were undressing. I blinked, smothering a small amount of jealousy I felt bubbling around. No time for that.

"But Lyn doesn't mind." I saw his eyebrows scrunch and he looked like he was about to pout, "We're together, so it's okay."

I heard the Inquisitor choke on her own saliva at such a bold statement, making my face turn beet red. Obviously this was getting us nowhere, so I turned around and walked toward the door that lead to the atrium library. I paused with my hand held halfway to the doorknob and thought about simply running through Skyhold to the barn where my extra clothing was. Or maybe across the walkway, through Cullen's office and into my room at the tavern? I was in my underwear, which was  _probably_  a bad idea.

I wriggled my toes on the cold stone, imagining what they'd feel like once I hit the chilled mountain weather. This wasn't going to be …

My brain seemed to click as I formulated a little plan and I looked over at Cole with a glint in my brown eyes. He was a few feet away, as if he were following me. He stared at me, his gaze lingering on my exposed skin more than usual before flicking his eyes up to meet mine. His face turned pink, realizing he'd been caught. My face flushed even more in response. Wonderful.

"Take it off." I forced out, watching as he tilted his head at me. I looked back and saw Lynn still standing by the white couch with a rather amused grin on her face. I  _will_  get back at her.

"W-What?" Cole stuttered, his blue eyes widening underneath his mop of hair as I pulled his hat off of his head and set it on a nearby dresser.

"Take off your shirt." I tugged on his long-sleeve patchy shirt, knowing that he was always wearing a white undershirt anyway. It wouldn't be too much of a loss, right? He seemed to freeze under my touch, causing me to get a little impatient. "Cole, please. I j-just want to get out of here." I said lowly, grabbing at the thick leather band that encircled his waist and fiddled around with the straps.

It's just like unsaddling a horse. Yeah. No biggie. Just like the bridles and the saddles, heh. I kept my mind occupied, trying not to let my mind slip into the gutter as I undid the straps. His hands came up and fumbled around to helped me. I let out a breath of relief as I watched it drop to the ground with a light _'Thud'._  Cole pulled his shirt over his head and handed it over, his face taking on an even pinker hue.

Biting my lip and feeling kind of bad, I grabbed it out of his hands and looked away just in time to see the door creak open at my left.

"Look, Kid you need-" Varric paused and I stood there in my underwear, holding Cole's shirt in front of me like a shield to cover my chest. The dwarf's eyes widened as he stared up at me, face flushing. "I don't want to know."

I looked to my right, seeing Cole standing off to the side just enough for him to remain hidden from Varric. This looked-

"Varric." I protested, but was cut off before I could even continue.

" _Don't_  want to know." He emphasized, sounding a wee bit embarrassed as he shut the door softly. I groaned, I was the Queen of Misunderstandings I swear to God!

"Are we going to really allow this, Inquisitor? She seems awfully  _close_  to your demon pet." Vivienne, to her credit, kind of sounded worried.

"Closer than you know." I mumbled and watched evilly as the woman seemed to almost turn pale at the thought. I slipped the long-sleeve shirt on and turned my brown glare at Lynn who was looking over here with her delicate hand covering her mouth. She looked positively amused. I growled at her. Vivienne looked perturbed as she seemingly backed up a little, staring at both Cole and I.

"I won't forget this." I pointed at her, the pale green sleeves dangling loosely off of my knuckles. The things were incredibly long on me and the shirt itself went down around my mid-thigh. The collar was cut in the front and it plunged down a little passed the bottom of my bra. I fiddled with it, holding the thing closed with one hand. God damn it. Well at least I was mostly covered now, and I could leave these crazy people.

"I'm sure." The elf laughed as I whipped around and flung the door open and sauntered out. "Wait.  _You're serious._ "

**Third Person**

He couldn't seem to get that image out of his head, as he followed Lyn out into the library. The door shut behind them with a soft ' _click_ '. His hat and belt left completely forgotten on the floor as he shuffled forth. Cole has seen women without their clothing on before, some even completely naked. (Although they never really saw him.) But when she was standing there, just moments ago, so close. So … soft. He'd wanted so badly to touch her, to feel what her skin felt like underneath his fingertips.

These were the same compulsions he was having the time he watched her bathe, only this time he knew she would not protest such things.

How would she react? Would she blush that beautiful shade of red that she always did whenever they got so close? How would it feel? Would it tingle with electricity just like it felt like when they kissed?

The rogue was too caught up in his own thoughts to hear anyone else's as they made their way across the rotunda where Solas was working. He didn't notice the way the elf's pointed ears seemed to turn pink as he did a double take at the couple as they passed by, going out onto the walkway. Lyn was walking with long angry strides as she made her way across the cold stone, flinging the door to Cullen's office open.

"Her Inquisitorialness stole my clothes." She offered in an irritated tone, not even bothering to look at the Commander as she flung the next door open and stalked out. Cole noticed how the ex-templar seemed to turn almost purple at the sight of the woman in only a shirt, walking by as if nothing was wrong.

Normally he'd be able to hear their reactions or thoughts on the matter, but he was far too focused on Lyn. On his own thoughts as they seemed to demand his attention.

What was wrong with him?

He appraised her figure from behind silently, her bare feet slapping against the stone. She was not built like most women he'd seen, that's for sure. Most were kind of lean with very slight curves, and the ones that did have them were few and far between. Lyn was softer, but not overly so, her curves more pronounced than most. Most would not know this, since she hid underneath her oversized clothing all of the time.

He didn't seem to notice that they were now standing alone in her room up in the tavern as she rummaged around in her dresser for something to wear. The room was dimmed, the only light source coming from the evening sky just outside of her window. The faint sounds of yelling and sparring could be heard, the window propped open just enough to let in a nice cool breeze.

"The fabric is soft, rustling against the skin. It looks good on you." Cole rested his hand on her hip, feeling her freeze from her digging as she whirled around to look up at him with wide brown eyes. They were so close he could practically count every freckle that was peppered lightly across her cheeks and nose.

"W-What." She stuttered, nervousness leaking it's way into her tone. His eyes slowly traveled lower as he stared curiously down at her breastband, the cloth that held the large things in place.

It was different than what she usually wore, leaving more to see. The tear in the front of his shirt allowed him to see her soft supple breasts. Cole tilted his head and peeked back up at her face through a mess of blonde hair. Lyn was staring up at him, face flushed as she realized what he was paying attention to.

"Wishing, wanting – how would she react, I wonder? Sometimes I think about what you look like underneath these." Cole stated as if speaking of the weather. His blue eyes flicked back down and he hooked his finger in the middle of her breastband, getting a quiet squeak out of her in response. Words stuck in her throat, just like always. Just beneath the surface, threatening to spill out. They didn't. He heard her, though. He always did.

She did not seem to protest his curiosity, however. She didn't even try to cover herself or hide, like she did whenever Bull tried to take a peek. Her head was turned away shyly, allowing him to take in her appearance as her heart thudded in her ears. He recalled what couples did back at the tower, the mages sometimes grasping at one another needily. Akin to what they had been doing on the walls of Skyhold not long ago, only more.

"Desperate to be closer, wanting, needing the contact. I want her to touch me too, hands exploring. Breath so close." He whispered, eyes distant and unfocused. He trusted Lyn and she trusted him. But the way he was feeling right at that moment, he couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive. "Can I touch you? Like we did on the ramparts that day?"

Cole twitched, feeling her small hands being pressed into the middle of his chest. Lyn leaned forward, brushing her soft lips against the bottom of his jaw. Slowly making her way up to his mouth, gentle, almost painfully slow. He leaned into it, feeling warmth spread in his chest as she sung for him.

A low hum of energy, whispered from the depths of her soul. His own echoed beneath the surface, as well. He was a part of her just as much as she was of him. Only he could hear it, however. He cupped her face with his free hand, feeling her shiver as his fingers caressed the spot just underneath her ear.

"C-Cole … I." She breathed when she broke away, face still so close. Those words were on the tip of her tongue again. Those three words that made him so happy every time he heard them. Lyn's thoughts were foggy, dazed as she let her hands trail town to his stomach. His muscles twitched underneath her feather light touches and he shivered delightfully.

"Yes. I like this." He nuzzled her forehead, his blonde hair getting brushed to the side slightly. Any apprehension he'd been feeling before completely dissolved in the wind as he reveled in the moment.

**~*~*~ Break** **~*~*~**

He wanted to touch her, but – She grabbed his hands and guided them to her hips.  _It's okay_. She silently conveyed, giving him permission this time. They stood there for what seemed like hours, hands exploring one another and kissing. Breathless, warm bodies pressed against each other. More. He wanted more.

Cole's nimble fingers trailed up as he cupped the soft mound on her chest experimentally. They'd been pressed against him before, but he was curious what they would feel like in his hands. For once, he understood some of the thoughts that most men seemed to have. Because he had them, too. Lyn was backed up against the dresser as she let out a low sound into his mouth, causing him to pull away in curiosity. Had he hurt her?

 _'Again.'_  Her thoughts were loud, hands clutched against him. Face flushed, eyes unfocused. Words still could not come from her, throat too tight. Constricted. He hadn't done anything wrong, no. He focused his gaze on her face as he let his hand slowly trail back up, hesitant. Lyn's expression was shy, timid.

Always eager to please, Cole fumbled around. Though he squeezed a little too hard, not realizing just how sensitive they were, getting a hiss out of her as pain flickered through her brown eyes. He flushed and pulled his hand away, sputtering as he stepped back a little.

"I-I did it wrong, I'm sorry." He mumbled and felt a little embarrassed, having a difficult time expressing what he wanted. He'd hurt her entirely by accident and the revelation of this made him feel completely inadequate.

He heard Lyn let out a low growl, causing his blue eyes to widen and look up at her.

The soft compliant look on her face from before had completely vanished, her gaze darkened as she allowed her eyes to rake over his form with an almost predatory gleam. It was almost like a switch was flipped, causing Cole to let out a shuddering breath as his heartbeat quickened. He wasn't scared, no, but that look … it – he couldn't put a name on what it was. But he could feel the desire practically seeping off of her as she threw herself at him, pushing him backwards onto the bed behind him.

They tumbled back and Lyn straddled him, hands pressed firmly against his chest to hold him down as she stared down at him through her messy rust colored hair. She leaned forward, hair falling over her shoulders and forming a curtain.

"Warmth pooling below, thoughts hazy. You want –  _Mmmfh._ " Cole grasped the blankets beneath him in a death-grip, feeling his heart stutter as she crushed her lips against his almost possessively. It was like the world seemed to fade away and the only thing he was aware of at the moment was how soft her lips were or how good it felt to have her pressed up against him or how something in his lower abdomen seemed to tighten and coil in response. Even the taste of his name as she sighed it into his mouth.

Everything else didn't matter.

He returned her kiss with fervor, feeling something warm and wet flick out across his bottom lip. Feeling a little confused, he paused. He felt it again and it seemed to send little tingles of electricity through his body. Cole opened his mouth to gasp but it was muffled as she plunged her tongue into his mouth. The feeling intensified.

He unclenched his hands and they flew up to her hips, grasping onto his shirt that fell loosely over her body. When she pulled away, she looked down at him and appraised his disheveled appearance with a hungry glint in her eyes.

The rogue's eyes dilated as her thoughts and desires slammed into him all at once. He let out short ragged breaths as he saw and felt everything, flashes, what she wanted to do to him. Oh Maker, what was wrong with him? It was like he was fighting to breath, now. His words came out quick and jagged.

"Skin feels hot, prickling, fire igniting within. Want to make him mine.  _I_  want – I.  _You_  want." It was almost too much and Cole started trembling, hands clenching and unclenching. He didn't know what to do, how to act. He didn't even know which thoughts were his anymore, jumbled together. Colliding, intertwining.

Blue eyes clashed with brown as he took in the expression on her face. It was the same feral look she'd given him before, her hands clutched onto his white undershirt as she leaned forward and purred into his ear.

"I want you." Was all she said, her voice so soft but so close. He could feel her hands trail up from underneath his shirt, running her fingertips along the lean muscles on his stomach. Cole shivered, not just at her words but at how her touches seemed to send him over the edge.

"W-What …" The blonde rogue stuttered out, words seemingly lost to him now. He couldn't speak. His pants felt a little too tight and he started to squirm from underneath her. It was like his energy was coiling and pent up, he wanted to do  _something_. He wanted a release. He wanted –

Lyn's lips pressed against his neck in a rather sensitive spot and he shuddered and gasped. Cole squeezed her hips in a bruising grip, causing her to growl approvingly. He felt her nip at him, flicking her tongue out afterward and causing his body to react almost instinctively. He bucked his hips against the warmth between her legs, the both of them moaning simultaneously. The kindle in his chest seemed to explode and spread throughout his body, traveling down to his stomach. She responded unconsciously by grinding against him, making it worse. Cole groaned and his body felt like it was on fire. It only seemed to burn hotter and hotter as they continued.

She  _liked_  it when he did that. When he was a little rough. It hurt, but it didn't. It felt good. A good hurt. It didn't make sense to him, but he forced himself into a seated position. Lyn's face was flushed and she looked like she was going to force him back onto the bed, but he pulled her closer and crushed their lips together. Just like she had done to him. He mimicked her actions, tongue seeking entrance into her mouth.

He felt her whole body tremble as he asserted himself. She seemed to loosen up, relinquishing control to him.

**~*~*~ Break** **~*~*~**

The door creaked open to his left, " – and I even brought your stuff – C-Creators have mercy!" Inquisitor Lavellan's high pitched voice echoed into the room, causing the couple to break apart. Cole stared over at her blankly, still holding Lyn close to him. Her face just about turned purple from her place on top of him. The Inquisitor's face and ears looked almost the same shade as Lyn's as she stood frozen at the door, grey eyes widened with shock.

"Haven't you heard of  _KNOCKING_ _!?_ " Lyn screeched, voice cracking as her body shook in mortification. The woman began to swiftly tug at the shirt she was wearing to cover up her butt, it had ridden up during their little escapade. The humiliation she felt seeped off of her and seemed to kill the moment just then.

Cole's shoulders slumped as he looked at the Inquisitor like a puppy that had just gotten kicked and thrown outside.

"I did!"

"Inky, wha's wrong?" Sera popped in at her side and looked into the room, her face morphing from happiness to complete and utter horror. "Friggin-" She covered her eyes and promptly began to scream as she walked away from the door. "Ew ew ew ew,  _fuckin' ew!_ "

Lyn's swear words seemed to have rubbed off on the loud elf as they heard her footsteps retreating down the stairs swiftly. Lavellan stepped forward, dropped the stuff from her spindly arms onto the floorboards before she fled the room in haste. The door slammed shut and they were left in silence.

Lyn and Cole sat there awkwardly, hearing their muffled voices from outside.

"Piss! Shitbuckets!" Sera screeched and a loud  _'CRASH'_ was heard, followed by more swearing.

"S-Sera, you're going to hurt yourself!"

The rogue looked up at Lyn just in time to see realization dawn on her face as she looked down at him. Shame and guilt slammed into him from her as she threw herself off of his lap.

**First person**

"O-Oooh … s-shit." Was all I could say as I curled my legs to my chest while I sat on my bed a distance away from Cole. He stared over at me confusedly, still fidgeting around from our encounter. I'd taken advantage of him. Totally. Completely.

He's not even used to his body being more human yet, and here I am perving out on him like some horndog! I screeched inwardly, burying my face into my knees and refusing to look up at him. No. I had to apologize. Apologize for being a complete moron. Shit.  _Shit_.

When I finally was able to peek back up, his face was so close to mine that I let out a small squeak and tried to scoot back. I hit the headboard and frowned, biting the inside of my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry." I forced out miserably. Cole put his hand on one of mine,

"Don't apologize. Please."

"Do you even know what we were about to do?" I whispered furiously, still angry at myself for forcing myself onto him like that. We were both still in the process of overcoming our past traumas. Well, more so him. But this would make things a hell of a lot more complicated. He was also a virgin. So, that in itself should warrant things going much slower. I was such a dumbass sometimes.

" _Yes._ " He drug out the vowel, looking at me as if questioning my sanity. "When a male and a female-"

"I  _know_  what it is, Cole." I interrupted, feeling my face burn. I didn't need to hear 'the talk' from him. I curled into myself and he squeezed my hand, trying to offer me reassurance.

"Adan calls it intercourse, but Dorian says it's 'making love'. I like those words better, they're prettier." He nodded and gave me that cute, guileless smile of his.

"H-How can you smile at me like that? I just took advantage of you." I mumbled disdainfully, wanting to go throw myself through a wall.

"No you didn't." Cole spoke softly, his hand clasped mine a little tighter. "Words come easier for me but sometimes I don't say it right. I freeze up – actions unsure, faltering, hesitant. We're the same, but backwards!"

I suppose in a way he was right. No, he  _was_  right. He could express himself easily through words and saying things so straightforward. Where I could not. I expressed myself easier through actions, showing my affections rather than speaking them. I was afraid that my rough reaction would drive him away and scare him, but it seemed to have an opposite effect.

"So … you're saying you  _wanted_  me to-" My throat closed up and my face turned a deep shade of red. I honestly didn't even know if I was ready for that, but here we were. Hell, I didn't even know if  _he_  was ready for something like that! Even less so than me, that is. I started to curse repeatedly in my head as I glared at the wall at my left.

"I think about it sometimes." Cole answered and I slowly lowered my knees so that I was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

He  _thinks_  about it? Oh … I suppose it shouldn't surprise me, considering some of our past conversations.

"When people make love, their songs don't harmonize. They become one. It's how people come together in the closest of ways. I want that with us." He explained as he fiddled with the wooden pendant around his neck.

"You … you've watched people recently, haven't you?" I didn't know whether to laugh or tell him he shouldn't be doing that. Because social rules. At least he had the decency to look sheepish about it. Wonderful. "You weren't ever caught, right?"

He shook his head and offered a small smile, sitting on his knees right in front of me.

"It would make things more complicated, more real. But I think that it would be okay, if it was with you." Cole leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss on the side of my mouth, causing me to hum. When he pulled away our faces were mere inches from each other as he asked in a soft voice, "Can we have that?"

So bold.

"I-I uhhh." I stuttered, feeling my face warm up. I hadn't expected that, to be quite honest. "I-I … want us both to be … ready, first."

"It's okay for us to do that, because we love each other." He stated in confidence and I felt something in my chest squeeze as I stared at him, face flushing. "Unsure, too fast – you're worried about me again. It's okay, I'll wait as long as you need me to."

If there was one thing I hadn't expected, it was that  _he'd_  be the one waiting for  _me_. Life just loves to throw curve-balls doesn't it? Although I kind of felt like an ass just then for jumping him like that, then stopping and saying I wanted to wait. God damn it Lyn, pull yourself together!

* * *

When he left and I was standing in my bedroom finally getting dressed into a new set of clothing, I couldn't push away the way I felt just then.  _Frustrated_  was the right word, I suppose. My brows scrunched and I glared at the dresser, realizing that it was because I'd gotten so riled up but hadn't gotten any … release.

But ah, if I ignored it enough usually it just went away. So that's exactly what I did. Sometimes I really hated the human body with the way it demanded so much attention. I envied Cole, in that aspect. He still didn't have to do certain things. Like sleep, for instance. Well, he didn't sleep much. But he didn't have to eat.

Pushing away the thoughts about our little encounter, I focused on the thought of the armor that I'd commissioned from Harritt and Dagna. I say Dagna, because I'd requested she put some extra stuff on it like she did with my last set.

Though that was not the thing she presented me with as soon as I entered the undercroft. Almost as if she'd been expecting me, she smiled and trotted up to me with something hanging loosely from her small chubby fingers. It was a metal object of sorts and I stared at Dagna curiously.

There was only one question on my mind when she looked up at me with such glee sparkling in her eyes. Her newest little contraption, an invention of sorts, that she wanted to test out.

"It's not going to blow up, is it?" I bit my lip, trying to stifle my amusement. She kind of reminded me of a very mild version of Wheeljack, now that I thought about it.

"No, I didn't need to put an enchantment on it." The dwarf paused, the small object lingering in her small hands as she stared down at it and weighed it. "Well, not much … that is. It won't blow up in your face, I promise!"

"What is it?"

"A weapon. If I can get them completed before you guys leave, I can hand them out to the ladies and you'll be protected!"

"Oh come on, Dagna. I won't need to sneak a weapon into a  _Ball_  of all places." I scoffed but paused as I thought about just where I was. This is  _Thedas_ , of course there would be danger in the most unexpected places. Not only that, but –

"Did you hear the Inquisitor when she was talking or did you space out? Because I thought I heard something about assassinations?"

"You're right … what was I thinking." I groaned, covering my face with my hand and wiping downward as I looked at the short woman. "Alright, hit me with it." She stared at my curiously, holding a thin object in her hand up as if to hit me. "Oh. A phrase from my world that means 'show it to me' or something of the sort. Sorry."

"Alright." Dagna mumbled with a slight smirk, holding it out to me instead. I carefully grabbed it out of her hands and it felt heavy. I rose my brow as I stared down at it, seeing little feathery embellishments poofing out the top. It looked … frilly. What the hell was this shit? "Flip it open."

I flicked it around, seeing it open to reveal – a fan? It was one of those fancy fans that I saw nobles holding when they were all dressed up and standing around Skyhold. But why was it so heavy?

"There's a little button here where the release …" The small woman launched into an explanation about how she was able to get the mechanisms working inside of the fan-object-thing and everything seemed to fly over my head. She paused halfway through and scratched her head sheepishly, noticing my lost expression. "Just push the button near the bottom."

I did, and it made a _'shing!'_ noise and I saw metal glint in the torchlight as it popped up at the top of the fan. I just about dropped the thing in my surprise and stared at it in awe. I remembered telling her of some of the medieval weaponry back home and such and one of the things mentioned had been war fans. Or whatever it was that they were called. I'd even made sketches, because I was bored at the time. The thing looked completely inconspicuous, unless someone tried to hold it. The blades that popped up looked razor sharp and I looked down at Dagna with a huge grin on my face.

"I'll make a couple, just in case you know?"

"Yeeeeessss." I looked at it with a giddy expression on my face and could barely contain the excitement I felt. I didn't have to hide a dagger in my dress, it seemed. I could defend myself with flair! Dorian would be so proud. "You're a frigging genius, Dagna."

"I try." Was her peppy reply as she put her hand on her hip and smiled up at me.

I could totally be like Kitana from Mortal Kombat. Though in  _less_  skimpy clothing, preferably, because there was no way in hell I would wear an outfit like that. I'd rather date Corypheus. Eugh. I don't know about you, but I didn't have a thing for evil darkspawn magisters that wanted to take over the world. Though, world domination did sound appealing. Perhaps I could overthrow him after I woo him with my feminine wiles?

Highly unlikely. I let out an evil sounding giggle, getting a wide eyed look out of Dagna.

"Oh, just thinking about world domination." I answered, as if it explained everything.

"Sorry to break it to you, but you're going to need more than a fluffy fan to accomplish that."

"How unfortunate."


	33. Unease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unease from the upcoming Ball isn't the only thing that Lyn is having problems with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~*~*~ Mature scene marked – skip to next break if you don't want to see it.

I had been getting amused looks from a few people that day, namely Iron Bull and Varric. For what? I had no clue, because so much had been going on as it was. But it was starting to bother me that they looked like they knew something I didn't. Or perhaps something that I probably didn't want anyone else to know. The thought irked me to no end.

The entrance to the Herald's Rest creaked open, revealing a rather nervous looking Lavellan and a carefully passive Vivienne. Behind them was Rufus, the little man that had been working for the Orlesian mage if I remembered correctly, holding the charred remnants of –

Oh, right.

Sera guffawed, pointing her bony finger at Vivienne who returned her stare rather flatly.

"Shite! You weren't lyin', yeah? Ya see it?!" The loud elf was referring to the fact that I'd burned the dress that Vivienne intended to have me wear to the Ball and I couldn't help but puff with pride a little from gaining Sera's approval. Lavellan looked incredibly nervous, but didn't otherwise object.

Vivienne leveled her icy gaze on me, her lips twitching minutely as she strode up to me. "If you did not approve of my selection, darling, a simple suggestion would have sufficed."

When her hand rose I flinched, hand involuntarily reaching for my pocket that had my folding knife residing in it. I knew that the woman was dangerous. She knew I knew, as well, if her tiny smirk at my reaction was anything to go by.

I stared at her warily and the warm torchlight didn't seem so warm anymore as it cast sharp shadows over the tanned mage.

"I expect to be paid back in full. All actions must come with consequences, after all." I swallowed and nodded nervously as she snapped her fingers. Rufus put the burnt remnants of the dress at my feet and scurried back.

"Look, Lyn. You can help pick out your dress, how's that? If I'd known you would … retaliate in such a manner, I wouldn't have pushed." The elf scratched the back of her head sheepishly, gaining a disapproving stare from Vivienne. If I'd imagine, it would probably be from the fact that the Inquisitor had pretty much apologized to me, when  _I_  should be the one apologizing.

When they left, I sat there for a few moments in silence and stared at the closed door without blinking. That had been … unpleasant. My body turned toward the table and I fingered the rim of my tankard, which contained water, with a dull expression on my face. At least I'd be able to pick something that wasn't as revealing and wouldn't make me feel like some cheep tavern wench. I'd already been forced into something of the sort once before I didn't want it to happen again.

They had been speaking of the damn Ball we were to attend in a few days and I couldn't help but put in my thoughts on the matter.

"Wish I could sabotage those 'rich tits' as Sera calls them, though. Such wasted opportunity." I sighed as I looked over at the person in question. She gave me a lopsided smirk as she shook her head, the others still engrossed in their conversation.

"We still could, ya know?" The blonde elf in question shrugged her shoulders, taking a huge drink out of her mug before slamming it onto the table. "Jus' like this one time, right? I was drunk and -"

She went on to explain how she'd completely crashed a nobleman's party without getting caught, even going as far as to steal the man's breeches from all of his dressers. All without getting caught, escaping bareback on one of his prized horses. Though not without the help of his  _very_  willing servants who wanted to get back at him for being such a prick and treating them like complete crap.

"And tha' is why I'll never drink and horse ever again." The normally loud elf spoke almost solemnly before her face broke out into a hysterical grin as she cackled, "Bet he'll think twice about bein' a snobby shite."

"The story changes every time I hear it, Buttercup!" Varric laughed, causing her to stick her tongue out at him in retaliation. "I like it."

"Oi, you're a rogue. Why don't you ever tell stories?" Krem addressed me from his seat on the other side of the table and I stared at him and raised a brow.

"Because I'm shit at telling stories." I informed the warrior, taking a small drink of water out of my tankard.

"Might as well start. Make it an official step into rogue-dom." Varric leaned back in his chair, the wood creaking as he moved. I frowned,

"Nah."

"Come on, Princess. Can't be that hard, can it?" The warrior wouldn't have it and even Iron Bull seemed to nod encouragingly. Right, right. Suppose it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Once upon a time, there was an asshole named Krem." I started in a bland tone, folding my hands onto the table. "He's still an ass.  _The end_."

Sera chortled and Varric covered his mouth with his hand. Krem crossed his arms and grinned playfully. "Aw, come on!"

"Looks like I've got competition." The dwarf joked, scratching at his stubble thoughtfully. The conversation slowly faded into the background as I observed quietly with a small smile on my face. I sincerely hoped that everyone got through this thing with Corypheus. Shit was happening, but I could only hope that those I cared for didn't get killed in the crossfire.

I knew, however, how unlikely that may be. Since they were the closest people to the Inquisitor. The Inner Circle. We were all fighting for a cause and were putting our lives on the line. The scene before me was one full of warmth and contentedness. Friendship formed in the most unusual ways, amiable chattering. The window was cracked open as Sera yelled something through opening at a training Cassandra, getting a curt response. Everyone at the table chuckled and the elf began making exaggerated movements, pointing at Varric who was seated beside her.

See, that was my problem exactly. I cared far too much. Cared when I didn't have to. Cared when it would only get me hurt. It would be the end of me.

I felt a hand being placed over mine, causing me to blink and avert my attention toward the warrior across from me. What was odd, was the fact that when people were too close to me or performed such simple gestures (such as this) I hardly ever flinched away anymore. It wasn't quite as terrifying as it used to be. It still, however, made me feel uncomfortable.

"Everything'll be alright." Krem spoke softly, trying to reassure me. He'd likely picked up on my slowly shifting mood and I made a note to practice hiding my facial expressions. Just like they've been teaching me to. It would be useful for more than this stupid 'Game' they speak of.

"Can't be too sure, you know?" I responded almost sadly, shrugging it off.

We were interrupted from our little banter when someone appeared so quickly beside our table it caused me to nearly jump out of my skin. I heard my stool skitter back on the floorboards as I recoiled. My eyes focused on who was leaned forward, both hands clasped on the end of the table.

Cole.

I was left in shock when I saw his ice blue eyes trying to bore a hole into Krem, who was seated right across from me.  _Cole was glaring._

"When she smiles, her face changes. Beautiful. Stomach fluttering like a caged bird, begging to be released. Wishing, wondering.  _'What would my lips feel like against hers?'_ " He spoke softly, despite what his body language was telling me at the moment. His posture was almost rigid. He then stated in a much firmer, almost aggressive tone. "But you  _ **won't**_."

Was that an order? Certainly sounded like it.

Krem's face was turning pale as he stared at the angry rogue, his brown eyes flicking between Cole and I. Back and forth.

"No, probably not."

I saw Cole's hands clench against the table tighter, the wood creaking and his knuckles turning white. I half expected to see the rogue punch Krem. What he was saying slowly registered in my brain … Krem had wanted to kiss me and he was mad because of it.

Shit.

I felt my face flush, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward and out of place. What the hell was I supposed to do about this? I wasn't ready for that kind of thing! Telling someone I didn't return their feelings, that is. Not only was I happily taken, obviously, I'd never had to deal with that. Ever. And it had to be  _Krem_. One of the people that I didn't want to hurt, accidental or not. If it had been someone else, I would just straight up deny them and give them the cold shoulder. That's just how I dealt with things. But this …

Cole stood up abruptly, his head tilted down as if to try and hide his expression. He must have picked up on the fact that I'd strongly disapprove if he hurt Krem. Though I didn't think he would, anyway. He had better self-control than I, after all. From my spot on the stool, I saw how conflicted he seemed before whirling around and striding away up the stairs to his little perch on the third floor. His movements almost jerky and … angry.

I shifted, wanting to follow after him instantly but paused and looked to my warrior friend. Should I address  _this_ , first? If I waited, would I hurt Krem? If I didn't follow, would I hurt Cole?

"Krem...?"

"Well, this is awkward."

"L-Look, I."

"D-Don't." He held his hand up and coughed into it nervously. I don't think I'd ever seen him look that flustered, before. "See, thing is … I like you. A lot. More than I should, actually. But I-Its just a little crush, okay?"

Just a crush, he says. Jesus, how had I overlooked this?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know..." I muttered, not really knowing how to react in that kind of situation. It was so weird to think about. The fact that someone other than Cole would have feelings for me, that is. With the way I acted around everyone, Cole was the only one that really knew how I was. Underneath all of the layers that I erected to keep people at bay. I hardly expected anyone to see those walls and find them appealing in any way. Though I was sure that Krem could see glimpses underneath, since we were friends and all.

"I don't want this to drive a wedge between us. We're still friends, right?" He asked cautiously. Why would we not be friends? I tilted my head in confusion.

"Of course we are still friends." I muttered, hands coming up and picking at the wood on the table. I fidgeted, looking at the staircase nervously. "But I … ah …. I'd like to."

"Just go." He smiled, though I could see that it was forced. I frowned, feeling a little disheartened to realize that I'd hurt him anyway. Shit.

It was inevitable, wasn't it? I couldn't help the jittery feeling I got as I ascended the steps in haste to look for Cole. I knew where he'd likely be, but wondered if he was angry at me too. Would he get angry at me? I imagined the completely pissed off look he'd given the templar man so long ago, only it was aimed at me. It made me feel sick.

My shoulders shook and I scurried up the last flight of stairs, only to stop at the top as I clasped the railing. No, no. He wouldn't – right?

I mean, I had allowed Krem to grab my hand. Though I had no clue that he held such feelings for me, but – I mean.

The thoughts buzzing in my head came to an abrupt halt when I saw leather clad legs come into view as I gazed at the floorboards. My brown gaze slowly slid up, seeing Cole looking down at me worriedly. His eyes were searching, focusing, listening.

"Cole." My voice came out hoarse and his hand was placed over mine, which was shaking as I still grasped the railing. When had I started shaking?

"I frightened you."

"N-No … I-I." I let out a humorless chuckle, "I was afraid you'd be angry at me." Pissed, even.

"Doing that had been wrong, I'm sorry. Sometimes I can't control – no. I  _can't_  control them. The feelings, I mean." As he spoke I let go of the railing and slowly made my way around him so that I was fully on the third floor. Very little light made it's way up here and the faint sound of Maryden's singing floated up, the dull hum of conversation in the background. Clinks and thuds could be heard now and again and I took a deep breath, calming my nerves.

I had been foolish to think he'd be angry at me. Of course he wouldn't be. Cole wouldn't get angry for no reason at all. Not like – no. Stupid.

"Being jealous is normal, don't worry." Was my attempt at reassurance. I knew the feeling quite well, actually. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous sometimes.

"I-I know … But I don't like it. Digging, tearing and making me feel sick." He clutched his stomach with a tiny frown on his face, "It makes me want to hit people. I almost hit Krem."

Ah right, well that'd be the testosterone. Wonderful. Not that I disliked it – if anything I found this slightly possessive side of him quite attractive. Hmmmm, yes. Quite. It made my stomach feel weird. Not that I'd tell him that.

Well. Oops, shit. Cole was staring at me like I'd lost my mind and I rubbed my neck awkwardly.

"Heh, right. Uhhh." I coughed into my fist, averting my gaze to a nearby wood paneled wall. "I'd probably feel the same way, if I ever saw you doing the same thing with another woman. I apologize."

It was an attempt to make him feel better. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have the amount of self-control that he did. I'd just outright punch them for trying to take him from me. I narrowed my eyes at the thought and could have sworn I saw fear flash in his eyes for a second.

"The Inquisitor took me to dinner once. To have  _fun_. In Val Royeaux." His blue eyes stared back at me, wide as if expecting me to snap. The way he put emphasis on 'fun' almost had me rolling, because had I been any other woman I'd have clobbered him. Fortunately, I knew that wasn't what it sounded like. I offered an amused smile and shook my head,

"Lynn isn't … interested in men. That doesn't bother me, at all."

"Gender preferences." It was like the thought never dawned on him until just then, "Dorian prefers men. Lavellan prefers women. You …"

"Doesn't really matter." I answered, shifting on my feet. It never bothered me before, because I didn't feel things for people until I knew them. Hell, even then I didn't  _look_  at people like I did with Cole. I'd formed a strong emotional bond with him and it seemed to change things, made me see him in a different light. There was no other way to explain it. Quite frankly, it was confusing. "Male or female – I have no preferences, what matters is in there." I pointed as his chest and poked him lightly.

"Yes." He agreed, lips twitching ever so slightly. 

"But what about you?" Now that had me curious, because I hadn't even thought to ask him the question at all.

"I-I don't think it would matter, either." He fiddled with his sleeves, "People look and see, but they don't at the same time. What you look like isn't who you are. I don't understand – isn't  _ **who**_  you are what matters most?"

"People are weird like that, Cole. It's a biological thing, I think. When they search for potential mates, the way someone looks – healthy or unhealthy, symmetrical facial features and all the like – when it comes down to it, we're animals too. Things like that matter to people." I tried to explain and he only appeared to grow more confused. I didn't blame him, this shit didn't even make sense to me. "Not even I completely understand."

"But …  _you_  never look at people like everyone else does …" He seemed confused as he stared through me, a searching look on his face.

"I never felt the need to, I suppose." I shrugged. I'd developed feelings for people before, but that was usually after I knew them a little. As I got older, it got harder and harder for me to think of people in that sense. Hell, I could count the amount of 'crushes' I've had on people with one of my hands. I distanced myself, to put it simply. "Haven't you ever 'looked'?"

"I look and see many things, watching and waiting. It was easier when they couldn't see me. But when I look at you, it's different."

"When I look at you, it's different too." Was my rather cheeky reply as I reached up and snatched his hat off of his head. He didn't seem to protest at all and simply offered a small smile, which I returned almost instantly.

"I like the way you look at me."

"Oh?"

"It's different when you're around other people. Hard, hesitant and cautious. But when we're like this, alone, it's soft – endearing. Like nothing else matters." Cole's hand came up to rest on his chest, a tender look in his eyes. "I like the way it makes me feel."

Oh, hell. I stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.

* * *

As we were sitting around at the gates, days later, waiting for everyone to get ready, those of us that were sat and conversed idly amongst one another. All save for a select few that stood around quietly, mainly Cassandra at that point. Cole, I noticed, was standing next to Dorian as he spoke calmly to the rogue in a low tone that I could not discern. The two have been spending more and more time together as of late, oddly, and it had me curious. I'd usually be amongst those who were quiet, but my sister had come to see me off despite the strained state of our relationship.

Not that I was complaining, by any means. At least I knew she still cared. Though most of the things said were merely to fill the silence, not knowing what else to say to one another. I missed our amiable conversations already.

We had been talking about the stuff she baked the other day for a friend's birthday, who I learned was Helisma – the Tranquil that worked in the library. Not to sound like an ass or anything, but how does one befriend a Tranquil? Though I'd never voice such thoughts, since for all I knew they  _could_  form friendships and I would likely sound like an insensitive prick. Which brought about our current conversation.

"Did you know Helisma used to be a mage?" Angel's tone rose slightly, expressing her shock. "She is what they call Tranquil, where they can't use magic because they're cut off from the Fade. What if-"

"If you suggest you to become Tranquil I will cut out your tongue." I said very seriously, turning my flat gaze toward the short teen.

"Eren had the same reaction and now he's refusing to talk to me."

"Wait, you're actually considering it? Do you know what it entails?" My voice came out higher pitched, incredulous at what I was even hearing. "Do you not think perhaps you could learn to control your abilities instead of running away and becoming some mindless drone?"

"Helisma isn't – she's  _not_  mindless!" Angel stumbled over her words, expression morphing into muted fury. "And I'm not saying I would … just. If I can't. If I end up hurting someone on accident, it would not be such a bad thing. At least that way I-"

"No."

"But Lyn."

"No." My voice came out more forcefully as I leveled a defiant glare down at my little sister. She was completely out of her mind! I knew she didn't want her abilities, never wanted to be a mage. She was scared, even. But – becoming Tranquil because of it should be the last thing she thinks of doing!

"You are right to be afraid, Angel. It is a completely natural thing, as a mage in this world." Solas butted in out of nowhere and I couldn't have been more relieved. He would probably be able to talk her out of it better than I, being a fellow mage. More experienced in such things, as well. "However, one should not let that cloud true potential. You can learn to harness your gift, just as anyone can. The Rite of Tranquility is not something to be taken so lightly."

Thank you.

"But what if I can't control it, Solas? What if.." Her voice died out and her brown eyes averted, afraid to see the elf's expression.

"Your capacity for controlling such things lies here." Solas pointed at her forehead, regaining her attention. "Continue in your studies, learn more – keep a sharp mind and the possibility of possession decreases. As a Dreamer I have stumbled across my fair share of malevolent spirits and can assist in honing your skills further, if that is what you wish."

"Vivienne would have a cow if she knew you were giving me secret study sessions." He stared at her for a moment, obviously thrown off by her odd way of speaking, before answering.

"There is only so much someone from a Circle could teach you, anyhow." Solas stated simply and Angel looked over at me, almost as if asking permission. Or more like 'Is this a good idea?'.

I nodded, "He is right."

The elf's attention jerked in my direction, almost quick enough to snap his neck I'd imagine, and stared openly. Almost as if trying to pick apart my expression to see any deception or a reason behind my actions. To this, I simply rose a brow and he turned and continued to speak to my sister.

At that point, I simply stayed quiet and listened the two talk. I was glad that he was able to further explain to her the nature of Tranquility and what it was used for. If only because it seemed she didn't have a full grasp on the consequences of such a procedure. She only saw it as a way out and I almost wanted to hit her over the head for being so stupid.

Which was another reason I was glad that Solas was the one speaking to her at that moment and not I.

While they were talking, my mind wandered on the possible reasons Angel could even possess magical talent at all. What was the difference between Earth and Thedas? She, obviously, didn't show any ability to manipulate the physical world with magic.

My answer could potentially lie in the stories I'd heard from our elders on the Reservation, the place I grew up, back in Minnesota. Me being Native American was never really discussed during my stay here. It would take too much talking on my part, for one. Which I still didn't like doing much of. Being the center of attention, that is.

Even though I knew these people better, it still made my skin crawl when they were all looking at me and listening to me.

Not only that, though. The biggest reason being that the memories attached to the teachings. The elder that taught me many of the things I now knew had been my grandfather. My papa. My brown eyes flicked down to the grass beneath my feet as I chewed on my bottom lip. The sick feeling in my stomach returned as I forced myself not to think about  _that_.

When I turned 13, I had only begun to accept the incident that happened to me when I was merely at the tender age of 8. I had come out and finally admitted that it happened. Many didn't believe me. Many looked at me differently. Pitied me, even. What changed, most of all, was the way I viewed myself. The belief that I was dirty. Unwanted. It didn't help that at the time I was living in foster care, further increasing the downward spiral my life had set me on.

It surprised me sometimes, just  _how_  I'd gotten this far.

The wind in Skyhold's inner walls seemingly bit through my armor, despite it's enchantments. It used to be worse. I sighed and let my gaze slowly sweep over my companions, seeing more of them trickle down the steps as they'd gotten ready for our trek. Leliana, Cullen and even Josephine would be traveling with us this time. Though the latter would be in a wagon or carriage of some sort.

My eyes lingered on the lanky form of my blonde rogue as he remained crouched in front of Riley. The Mabari was tilting his head at him and Cole would answer with his own head tilt, lips moving as he spoke lowly to the dog. It made me wonder just how the spirit-turned-human could remain sane with some of the crap he'd gone through.

He was strong. Stronger than I, that was for sure. That's why I knew that he would overcome such things. Learn to adapt. Learn to cope. I knew not just how much of the apostate Cole's life he remembered, but the small snippets I'd heard about and what he'd mentioned offhand – it was truly heartbreaking.

Not to mention the things he'd had to go through at the Spire. Lingering unseen, unheard. Living alone for years, not knowing what he was. It must have been torture. His life since then had not been easy, either. He'd been dealt a shit hand in this world and he was still trying to make the best of it. He wanted to help others, despite the dark and cruel side of humanity he'd witnessed. Despite how the world worked against him, he persevered.

I admired his mental fortitude. His strength. I blinked when Riley suddenly barked after Cole had said something that I couldn't hear. The Mabari pounced forward, sending the scraggly rogue sprawled out on his back. The movement sent his hat flying, fluttering onto the ground a small distance above his head.

"Ahh!" I heard him  _that_  time. Cole's hands grabbed at the short fur on the war-hound, but to no avail. Riley's tongue flipped out and he began to slobber all over him. A few of the others had glanced over upon hearing the small commotion, seeing the two wrestle around a bit before the Mabari grew bored and hopped off his chest.

* * *

"Dude, how are we even going to fit you into the Ball room?" I stared suspiciously at Bull's horns and he gave me a grunt. We were slowly ambling down the road atop our horses, mine falling into step right beside his as we continued forth on our journey. Still in the Frostbacks, the snow on the ground was so bright it was almost blinding as we made our way down a slope.

"I'll be staying behind to watch the supplies with Varric here." He motioned toward the much shorter man at his side before shrugging nonchalantly. "Can't bring them into the palace. Can't leave them laying around unattended to."

"Yep, that's what I am – the pack dwarf." That was when I noticed that Varric's horse was loaded with more stuff than ours, causing me to squint before I let out a short chuckle. "And apparently you're the guard Qunari. Most underrated characters in the story."

Aw, that wasn't true.

"Shame, I wanted to see their reactions." I muttered, "Now Vivienne's attempts at teaching you how to dance are for naught."

"She  _was not_  teaching me how to dance." Bull denied as he crossed his big burly arms. I gave him a look, "She was screwing around with my head, because I think she looks like a Tamassran."

"What was that, darling?" The Orlesian woman in question asked from a small distance away, her white horse's hooves crunching in the snow.

"Nothing, ma'am." Was his instantaneous reply and I had to suppress the urge to laugh openly. Instead I settled for covering my mouth with my hand.

"Although, if you're so sad about not being included … you could always just take my place, Varric." I suggested after a few moments of gathering myself.

"Unacceptable, we've already paid much for your wardrobe. Aside from the fact that Grand Duke Gaspard himself requested your presence, denying such an opportunity would be an incredibly foolish thing to do." Vivienne, obviously, had been the one to speak up. I wanted to groan or snap at her, but I knew she was right.

"No offense, Screech. But I don't think I'd look good in a frilly dress." Varric looked down at his chest, which was (as usual) unbuttoned to show off his chest hair. "Unless you'd like everyone to think you're just a really hairy woman."

"Why not just rip it off?" I pointed at his unbuttoned shirt.

"Ouch." He winced at the thought, hands held up over his chest as if to shield it from the thought itself. "I think I'll take my chances with the Qunari and Mabari."

That made sense. I mean, if we weren't allowed to bring stuff into the Palace then at least there would be someone to watch our things in the room. That must mean we were going to stay at a nearby inn or tavern of some sort.

 ****~*~*~** ** ****Break ~*~*~** **

The next morning, I woke up hot. Incredibly so. It took me awhile, slowly, for my brain to reconfigure as I stared blearily at the wall of the tent. Laying on my side, I had to resist the urge to squirm around. But simply settled with squeezing my legs together to try and satisfy the ache that seemed to only grow.

Much to my horror, I realized, my dream had gotten me more worked up than I'd originally thought. Mother of –

Stifling the urge to groan, I simply curled into myself miserably. I felt Cole shift from behind me, but his evened out breaths told me that he was still asleep. Thankfully. I didn't need him overhearing what had just went on in my head just seconds ago.

As usual, I felt the memory of my dream slowly fading from my mind. Though I could not fight the embarrassed blush that formed on my face, knowing what I had to do to get rid of this feeling. Shit. Not in  _here_ , of all places. What if he woke up?

But it was still kind of dark and he hadn't slept in days, so the likeliness that he'd even wake up was kind of low. Hesitantly, I reached down and brushed my fingers over my panties. I listened carefully, paranoid that Cole would wake up and realize what I was doing.

I'd done this many times before, obviously. It was a normal, human, thing to do. So if I was quick about it, it would be done and I would be fine. Yeah. Though I couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like if he were the one doing it.

Deft hands ghosting across my body. Gentle, knowing the right places to touch. My thighs rubbed together, creating more friction. Nothing seemed to be enough to satisfy the aching void created by the dirty dream I'd just had.

I had been too preoccupied with my ministrations that I didn't hear Cole starting to breathe heavily from behind me. I paused when I heard a whimper, a sweaty palm clasping onto my bare hip. The tunic I'd been sleeping in had ridden up and I never really slept in pants. It felt like my stomach turned to ice and embarrassment took hold.

"I... shit. I –  _ah!"_  I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from making much noise when his hand came down and was placed over mine. I had to bite back a squeal when I felt Cole apply more pressure on my hand, causing me to arch my back subconsciously. My bottom ground against his groin and I realized just then exactly how he felt about what I was doing to myself. He let out a shuddering breath and when he pushed back against me, I felt the heat in my stomach turn to molten lava.

I bit my tongue painfully in attempt to stifle the, likely embarrassing, sound that wanted to tear out of my throat just then.

"Show me." Cole was quiet, right next to my ear. He pressed his body against mine, burying his face into my hair. His voice came out weak and almost strangled, "I w-want to... nnghh..."

"Alright, time to get up!" A voice called from the middle of the camp. We could have very well continued, but the chances of someone swooping in to make sure we were up and getting ready was too high. Getting caught was …

"Shit!" I cursed, meaning for it to come out quietly but it didn't.

 ****~*~*~** ** ****Break ~*~*~** **

**Third Person**

Last watch was always the hardest. Requiring the person on watch to wake everyone up at a designated time and make sure the fire was out, etc. They weren't in a particularly dangerous location, being near an Inquisition checkpoint and small town, so only one person sufficed.

The Iron Bull let out a quiet sigh through his nostrils, standing up from his seat on the log that they'd dragged into the camp the night before. The sun was starting to peek up over the horizon, but the trees were blocking the view. Damn. With the light starting to shine down on the rest of the world, it made seeing things much easier as he kicked dirt into the fire to put it out.

"Alright, time to get up!" He called, hearing some sighs and groans from a few inside of their tents. What stuck out to him, however, was the rather agitated sounding –

"Shit!" He heard Lyn curse vehemently, followed by some rustling and he could have sworn he heard Cole apologize. Some murmuring followed before the otherworlder appeared out of the tent, her disheveled appearance seemingly worse than usual.

Bull tilted his head and she turned her sour expression toward him before it morphed into a glare that could practically melt steel, reminding him of an angry bear. If the growl was anything to go by, he'd have believed she was about to shape shift into her 'favorite' animal and tear him apart bit by bit. Despite his obvious advantage, strength wise, he couldn't help but swallow nervously.

Women were scary when they were pissed, as he'd come to learn.

When he saw Cole crawl out of the tent in a similar state, he knew. Oh, he knew. It also helped that the poor guy was trying to pull his shirt down to cover the very obvious tent in his pants.

The Qunari chuckled, shaking his head as he walked off to help saddle the horses. The next few hours were spent on the other side of the group, trying to ignore the looks she kept shooting him. At least Cole had stopped glaring at everything after the first half hour or so. Lyn didn't seem so forgiving, unfortunately. It was like she wanted to carve his horns off of his head for what he'd inadvertently interrupted that morning.

Oops.

**First Person**

I was in a sour mood all morning, sending burning glares in Iron Bull's direction here and there. I knew, of course, it wasn't  _his_  fault. I had awoke that morning after having a rather lewd dream. I think we all know just …  _what_  … I'd been dreaming about. I also hadn't expected, even though I should have, the reaction I'd gotten out of Cole. So sue me, I thought he was sleeping!

I grumbled and kicked at the dirt beneath my feet.

Our first stop for the day occurred at a small town nearby to resupply on a few things, namely some food. The horses were tied off on the outskirts of the village and a couple of people from the group went in to the general store. As for the rest of us? We kept ourselves occupied; some simply sitting atop their horses waiting, others stretching and checking their belongings. I decided not only to stretch, but to sketch a nearby tree that seemed to have flowers blooming on the tips of the branches, swaying gently in the wind.

My back was turned on our party as I sat in the soft grass far enough away that I couldn't really make out what anyone was even saying as they spoke to one another. At some point or another, Cole had come to sit beside me and I'd offered him some paper and a book from my bag as a hard surface to use.

"How do I know what to put on the paper?" He questioned as he focused down on the piece of paper in his lap. I couldn't help but stare at his hand as he played around with the pencil between his slender fingers, twirling it around. "It comes so easy to you, fingers flicking, swiping and smudging the right places. I... I've never-"

Confusion set in on his features, his fingers stilled and clasped onto the pencil I'd handed him. At some point he'd set his hat beside him, giving me a clear view of his bright blonde locks as they shone in the sunlight. The clouds that freckled the sky floated by every now and again, blotting out the sun at times.

"I'm drawing this tree because I think it's beautiful. The flowers and green leaves." I didn't know really how to give drawing lessons, but I explained to him my reasoning behind it. "Just … put what you feel is right on the paper. Let your mind do the work and your fingers will listen."

"The colors aren't there, but when you look at it you see them. Remember them. A picture forms a memory, an impression in the mind. The soul." Cole peered over at me from underneath his mop of shaggy hair, nodding seriously. "I will try."

I offered a smile, feeling my hair shift as I tilted my head to get a better look at him.

We sat in silence and drew together, the scratching of pencils on paper filled the air. It was maybe ten minutes before he turned to me, holding out his drawing for me to see. It was … pretty good. I'd even go as far to say it was almost better than mine, actually.

It seemed Cole was really good with his hands, and not just with his daggers or lock picking. It made me wonder what else he could be good at. The way his nimble fingers could help me undress myself so easily, bodies pressed together as we –

My eyes widened into saucers at the abrupt appearance of such a thought and banished it immediately. But not before spotting his lopsided smirk as he stared down at me.

"S-Shut up."

"But Lyn, I didn't say anything." Cole sounded so innocent, but his face was telling me a different story. I huffed and turned away, feeling my face burn.

"R-Right, can I see it?" I asked softly and he handed it over without much of a fuss. I stared down at the piece of paper sitting in between my small fingers, the pencil lead smeared in some places at the edges. Some parts were rough and jagged, as if getting used to putting pencil to paper. Others were elegant and smooth, kind of like how mine were when I was drawing. I looked back up at him curiously, "I'm smiling. Is this really what I look like?"

I sounded skeptical and I was. Because I was smiling in the drawing, but … it didn't look creepy.

"Yes. I like it when you smile." Cole reached forward and his thumb ran along the seam of my mouth, causing me to blink a few times in surprise. "It makes me feel happy, too."

"Yes … well. I'll – ah – I'll try to smile more." I fumbled around, words coming out choppy and anxious. I really wanted to do something, just then. It was akin to the urge I got when I wanted to kiss him, or bring him closer into a hug. But … more. Something almost unknown to be, desire perhaps? Yes, that was what it was.

It was something I was quite unfamiliar with, being as emotionally deprived as I had been most of my life, but at that moment it almost felt overpowering. Was it because he was so close? His hand had dropped to his side moments ago and we were simply sitting there gazing at one another, but –  _it wouldn't go away._

I shook my head to clear myself of such thoughts, finding them to be distracting. When I looked up at Cole, however, he was looking down at me with an expression I'd never seen on his face. Or, more or less, in his eyes. It was always his eyes, which seemed almost darker just then.

Where his face did not tell much, most of the time, his eyes always told a story. Sometimes it felt as though I could lose myself in them, showing me things untold. Unseen by others. From the haunted – desolate emotions that used to plague him more often than not, when we first met. To the warm affection he so often showed me, lit them up like no other. I idly wondered if that was perhaps why he hid behind a mop of shaggy hair and even donned such a large floppy hat.

But the look just then sent shivers up my spine. It was not entirely unwelcome. It only seemed to intensify when he leaned closer, making me feel like a small animal underneath a predator's gaze. Only I was not and I was fairly certain my expression mirrored his own at that point. He was so close.  _So close._  I had this aggressive – almost burning need to … to.

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding, hands gripping onto my sketchbook and pencil as if to help ground myself. Dizziness overcame me and it felt warm all of a sudden.

It was maddening.

What was I supposed to do with this? We weren't even touching, for fucks sake!

My sketchbook snapped shut and I began to put things away in haste, trying to ignore our close proximity. Now was hardly the time. I knew where it would eventually lead and – and.

Slender fingers gripped the side of my face gently, bringing my attention back up toward him. Jittery as ever, my lips parted and I was about to ask what he wanted. I didn't even have time to think, just like that, his lips captured mine briefly before pulling away. Then he was gone. Poof. I didn't even attempt to search for his shimmering form as he likely scuttled away. Damn rogues and their dirty little tricks. No words needed to even pass between the two of us and he seemed to know my need to sort my thoughts out. Or perhaps he needed to, as well?

Cheeky bastard, I hadn't even gotten a chance to return that kiss.

I sat there for a few moments, quelling my damnable heartbeat before I stood up and approached Skittles. Later. I would think on this later, because the Ball still loomed over us like an ominous storm. An oppressing cloud.

Or maybe that's just how I saw it.

I looked down at Cole's drawing resting beneath my fingers. I traced the piece of paper with my fingertip, the lines that made up my face and hair. At least I wasn't alone in this, right?

* * *

At some point during the early morning hours, Sera had made a comment about what she'd seen back in Skyhold.

Some of the others groaned, shaking their heads as if they'd heard it a million times already. This, in turn, caused me to lose a little color in my face. How many people had she told about what she saw Cole and I doing?! She explained it as 'scarring' and I think it was just a reason to poke fun at me for getting interrupted, really. This, however, meant that Solas overheard.

Quite obviously he disapproved.

Solas and I had been making rather smart ass-y comments all day back and forth, as a result. It didn't help that I'd been more irritated than normal today, for obvious reasons. Our conversations mostly sounded normal, on the surface, but anyone with a brain could see the underlying insults we'd been throwing at one another for the passed few hours.

I wasn't even sure how we were even able to communicate about something with an underlying subject, but here it was. 'Talking about the Ball' but actually talking about my developing relationship with Cole.

“Attending such an event must be equally as difficult for someone such as yourself. You needn't worry, though.” My voice came out calm but my face showed my obvious irritation.

Translation – _'It's difficult to understand, I know. Stay out of my business.'._

“The Ball will not prove to be much of a complication, as I have attended many such events in the Fade.” Solas spoke confidently and though his next statement sounded like he was concerned, it clearly wasn't meant to be with his tone of voice. “Though you have no such experience, are you sure you will be prepared for such a task?”

Translation – _'I have experience with spirits, you don't. Are you prepared for the consequences it may yield?'_ I wasn't sure, but there was probably an insult hidden in there somewhere. We both stared at one another with varying looks of irritation in our eyes.

“Oooh, the Fade. You must have encountered many things whilst in the Fade, right Solas?” I gave him a mocking grin, “I should be able to perform adequately, thanks to Madame Vivienne and the Inquisitor.” I then added almost suggestively, dropping the act. “Cole seems to think I'm doing alright.”

Translation – _'Not everything you think you know is true.'_ Also rubbing the fact that we were getting closer in his face, couldn't help it. I almost backed off when I saw Cole peek over at hearing his name being spoken aloud, a small frown on his face. He likely knew our underlying meanings, no doubt, and disapproved of my actions. Our actions, maybe? His eyes seemed to linger on Solas, too.

“Did they teach you proper etiquette?” _'because it doesn't seem like it'_ His face told me enough and I couldn't help the sneer that formed on my face, especially with the next statement. "The Game can be _deadly_ , after all."

It was the most we'd talked in ages, to be quite honest. Usually we stayed a distance away and didn't interact much, but today seemed to have something different in store for our merry little band. I could already tell Cassandra was getting agitated at our constant babbling (more like bickering). Lavellan was suspiciously quiet from her place ahead of the group. Sera and Varric looked pretty amused by it all. Cole appeared conflicted, opting for walking alongside Riley quietly as his friend and I threw words back and forth. The others were trying to show indifference by ignoring us.

Then the conversation lost it's original meaning and we simply resorted to making jabs at one another. It only seemed to escalate from there. 

"Oh no no, Solas. If I am to be more lady-like, perhaps you should be more gentleman-ly?" I suggested turning my attention on him, yet again. We were walking on the path, along with a few of the others. Since sitting atop a horse all day would only end up giving us sores on our asses.

"Gentleman-ly is not even a word." Even through his regal tone of voice, I could tell how irritated he was becoming with my antics. His posture straightened as he added, "I am quite the gentleman, when such a time requires it."

"Uh huh..." Oh, ho. This was just the beginning, Solas. I pinched his cheek and pulled on it, effectively overstepping a social boundary. My eyebrow took on an almost psychotic twitch, voice coming out calm and completely betraying the irritated look on my face. "See, it is not that hard right? If I am to force a smile on  _my_  face, I shall force a smile onto yours."

Solas pushed the flat end of his staff into my chest, trying to push me away.

"Get. Off." I could practically see a vein starting to appear on his forehead, a gleam appearing in his eyes. He, no doubt, probably wanted to burn my face off for being such an insolent bitch. But it was my intent. I chuckled darkly.

"What's wrong? Can't the elf manservant smile correctly without my assistance?" I used the name Vivienne had given him at some point during our trek. I knew I was taking this too far, this time, but he had instigated it. It was my mission, this time, to annoy the ever living shit out of the man.

Solas didn't answer and was simply quiet, which told me enough. Especially when I started to see electricity start to fizzle and crackle around his arms, slowly wrapping up toward his staff which was now pushed against my face. I was tempted to bite on the wood but instead opted for pushing against it with my cheek. I growled and he glared, gazes locked as we both refused to back down.

A few of the others were watching the small scuffle with wary looks on their faces, probably wondering when we'd make it into a physical fight. I swore I heard Sera and Varric making bets in the background somewhere. Before it could escalate into that, however, I heard a sigh and Lavellan wrapped her arms around the both of us in a rather friendly manner.

"Oh, you guys." Solas and I untensed and stared at the Inquisitor curiously as she smiled and put her hands behind each of our backs. Her friendly demeanor slowly melted away into straight-faced rage and her hands clasped the back of my shirt in a death grip. She spoke in a low and menacing tone, " _ **You both need to tone the fuck down.**_ "

I stared at her, slack-jawed, as her normal friendly expression popped back into place like it had always been there. Lavellan never swore. Lavellan also never looked that scary and I was almost inclined to believe she'd been possessed. But if Cassandra's overly calm expression was anything to go by, she was not possessed – simply pissed off with the two of us.

"Okay?" She asked in a peppy tone before letting us go and skipping off toward the front of the group with a chipper smile plastered onto her face. I let go of Solas like I'd been burned and he lowered his staff casually.

"R-Right. Soooo, the weather is pretty nice?" I stated awkwardly, motioning toward the sky with my hands.

"Indeed, I find the slight drizzle to be quite refreshing if I do say so myself." Solas responded in kind and that was the last we talked to each other all day.

On that day, I learned something. Lavellan, our dearest Inquisitor, was scary as fuck when she was angry.

* * *

We'd arrived at Halamshiral all too soon, causing me to get all jittery as I fidgeted uncomfortably from atop Skittles. The horse must have picked up on my unease, because she began to shift around as well. Her hooves dug into the dirt as we ambled over to the stables that would hold our horses during our stay. Riley was lingering closer than usual, his big brown eyes darting up to look at me occasionally.

Yeah, I was not looking forward to what was to come.

Lavellan had, as I'd suspected, reserved a number of rooms from an inn in the more upper class side of the city. We were representing the Inquisition, so that didn't surprise me in the least. Though I never understood the need for such lavish and gaudy things such as the ornate doors and shiny decorations that seemed to line the walls and shelves. Was that a golden halla?

I stared blankly at the plush, obviously incredibly expensive, rug underneath my feet and made sure to wipe my feet deliberately on it. Finally satisfied once I saw a nice sized smudge, I scooted away inconspicuously toward the Inquisitor. Said dalish elf was speaking with the man at the reception desk, who looked at Lavellan like she may have perhaps walked into the wrong place.

That expression was quickly thrown out the window when Vivienne stepped forth with her cold and overpowering aura. It also helped that she was probably well known in these parts. She stood right beside the Inquisitor with a look that told me that if the man said anything out of line he would get frozen in place for being such an insolent fool.

For the first, and likely last time, I was cheering the Orlesian mage on in my head. Freeze his pompous ass!

But alas, Lavellan was as kind as ever and brushed it off like it was nothing.

It was then that I realized just how prejudiced people really were around here. Simply because she was a dalish elf, they seemed to stare at her like she was some savage – or in some cases an exotic trophy to claim. I shivered, wondering if Sera would unleash her wrath on those certain someone's.

I'd pay to see that.

That night was spent in an overly soft bed and a shared room. I'd have expected them to kick Riley out, but it seemed Mabari were esteemed and welcomed in places such as this. Riley was, however, curled up atop a dog bed positioned on the floor and snoring quite loudly. Cole couldn't seem to sleep either, and simply sat in the bed staring off thinking about God only knows what.

Me? Ah, well since it was a shared room that meant other people were sleeping in the two full beds across the room. It was mostly split between the women and men, but no one seemed to really care that Cole and I refused to separate in our sleeping arrangements.

I didn't like sleeping with other people in the room.

Sighing, I flipped over and tried to get some shut eye. It wasn't until Cole burrowed underneath the blankets beside me and pulled me against him that I even began to feel sleep starting to take me. It seemed the impending doom of arriving at the stupid Winter Ball was effecting me more than I thought it would. At least now, my mind was not plagued with perverted thoughts or inappropriate urges. The only thing I could think of was how much I dreaded what was to come.

The last thing I remembered was the sound of soft humming and the feel of his fingers in my hair.

**Third Person**

They were getting ready for the Ball and Cole didn't really like that he couldn't keep his hat. Dorian had been the one to make him look 'spiffy' as he said. The rogue tugged at the white high collar, already starting to feel uncomfortable in his new attire. His hair was even brushed and neatly styled by the Tevinter as they stood out in the hallway in a group. Everyone was taking turns getting ready, since there had only been two rooms rented at the local tavern. One for the males and one for the females.

"No!" He heard a muffled voice from inside of the women's room, causing him to look up immediately. Cole knew that voice. It was Lyn. Dorian, Varric and Sera stared up curiously as the sounds of a small scuffle could be heard on the other side of the door.

The wood door flew open, revealing a half dressed Lyn as she latched onto the door frame frantically. The woman was still in her pants and sports bra, thankfully. Dorian started to cackle at the sight before him, Lyn's hair standing on end with the most expressive face he'd ever seen her wear. Vivienne and Inquisitor Lavellan stood in the background calmly.

Normally Lyn was hard to read, echoes dimmed and weak. But her fear and disgust practically rolled off of her in a torrent of waves. Cole blinked confusedly, staring at her with widened blue eyes.

"Cassandra?" Lavellan spoke and the Seeker sighed in response.

"She does not want to wear the makeup, why make her?" The warrior crossed her arms, "We are already forced into these … these  _dresses_. What more do you need?"

The way she said 'dresses' expressed the same amount of disdain one would have if they were speaking of abominations or demons.

"If you grab her and bring her here, you don't have to wear the dress. I know you brought your own attire, anyway." The elf made a deal and he saw the Seeker walk forward without question, from the side of the room with a semi-sympathetic look on her face as she grabbed the wavy haired woman.

"I apologize, Lyn." Cassandra promptly began to tug at Lyn's midsection to try and drag her in, but to no avail. The otherworlder screeched and hissed, clawing at the door frame.

The statement was clear. 'It's either you or me.'

It was obvious, even without his gift, that Lyn's struggles were futile against the tough Seeker.

"Anything but makeup! Anything!" Lyn yelled as she fell forward onto the floor, her small hands still latched onto the door in a vain attempt at salvation. "Cole! Help!"

Cole was about to walk forward but was stopped by Varric who shook his head up at the lanky rogue. "Nothing is scarier than an angry woman. Three? Do yourself a favor and don't do it."

"Traitors!" Lyn squawked, her nails digging into the wood as Cassandra dragged her back into the room by her feet. Cullen just happened to walk out of the men's side in time to see her being pulled off screaming and hissing into the room before the door was promptly shut with a reverberating  _'Thud!'._

"But Lyn is a woman too, Varric." Cole tried to reason once everything fell into dead silence, aside from the occasional  _'thud!'_ and _'crash!'_  of objects from inside the women's room. He saw the dwarf shake his head and chuckle.

"That woman couldn't stay mad at you even if she tried."

"Well that certainly went well." Dorian spoke in his chipper voice, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the worn out wooden door. Sera started to giggle evilly.

"I wouldn't be laughing, Buttercup. You're next." Varric smirked over at the elf and she seemed to go silent as she stared forward with a pout. He knew that the elf didn't mind putting a dress on, but didn't particularly look forward to 'mingling' with the upper class.

"I don't understand, I thought women loved getting dressed up." Cullen's tone colored with the curiosity he felt, getting a barked laugh out of Dorian.

"You're holed up in that office of yours too much to see, but that 'woman' is the exact opposite of the woman stereotype! It's rather comical, really." Dorian put a hand on his hip, the embellishments on his black uniform glinted in the light as he shifted. Unlike everyone else, he actually picked out something different. Something with flair! The Tevinter seemed to have a penchant for black with gold trim. And shiny embellishments …

**First Person**

Thankfully, I'd been able to convince them to put minimal amount of makeup on my face. None of that powdery shit or … lipstick. Ew. And by 'convince' I meant tossing the blasted things out of reach and demanding that I have a say in what I look like. It may have been quite childish of me to pull the 'old enough to make my own damn choices' card, but it had worked nonetheless.

Dorian had been the one in charge of helping the men pick out their suits and I was kind of jealous, actually. His sense of style would probably have been more modest than Lynn or Vivienne's, to be completely honest. The men's uniforms were mostly the same, only with their own preferences thrown in.

Which is what I admired about men's attire, really. Aside from the obvious bagginess it offered me, it was also much easier to 'dress up'. There were far too many combinations of dresses and colors for women, I found it to be overwhelming. While Dorian preferred black with shiny embellishments. The Commander had preferred some reds and whites with no gaudy decorations, much unlike the Tevinter.

If the looks of Cole's suit was anything to go by, he didn't seem to care and let Dorian have artistic freedom with dressing him up. Not that I was complaining, really. It was quite similar to the Tevinter's style, though with slight differences here and there. The men all wore a white sash of some sort with an Inquisition logo inlaid upon it.

"You look … different." I heard Cole's soft voice. His words registered and instantly I felt self-conscious. My eyes darted down at the thing I was wearing, a frown etched onto my face. It wasn't as revealing as the one Vivienne had offered up, but it was still kind of frilly … and girly.

"Is it bad?" I asked nervously, fiddling with the soft material at my hips. I hadn't looked at the thing critically, only making sure that it wasn't able to reveal much in terms of cleavage. They had me settle on something darker with combinations of red, blacks and whites.

"No. A good different. I like it." He spoke lowly, fingers slowly trailing down to the tips of my wavy strands that hung loosely to frame my face. The rest was pulled back and – God damn it. His finger brushed across my bare collarbone and I shivered.

"Y-You look … you look good, too." I stuttered, feeling a little distracted that he had yet to pull his hand away. It didn't help when he started to stroke my cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

I made a quiet and frustrated sounding noise as I took a small step back, eyes darting anywhere but on him. It was the same incessant urge that had been surfacing these passed few days and it was starting to piss me off. It was distracting – at this rate I'd end up clawing at the buttons on his –  _no!_

With my face buried in my hands, I refused to look up at Cole's expression. No doubt being creeped out or put off by my sudden trains of thought as of late.

"If you're going to jump his bones, at least do so in the confines of your room." A deep voice interrupted me from berating myself mentally. It had been Iron Bull and he continued with a rather cheesy grin on his face, "I learned the hard way that people here are quite restrained about having sex out in the open. Apparently the bar top is a no-go."

I silently thanked the Gods, or perhaps the Maker, that he hadn't spoken too loudly and no one seemed to overhear. Because if they did, I would probably have mounted his head over a fireplace.

"I wasn't – you. I." I sputtered in attempt to deny his observations and I cursed the Qunari's shrewdness.

"Look, what you two do on your own time is up to you guys. Just offering some friendly advice."

"Or being a nosy prick."

"That, too."

"There's this thing … that I needed to do." I promptly left the two of them without even glancing back. It didn't go passed my attention how Cole seemed oddly quiet, either. He hadn't even made a comment yet about it and I wondered why.

Oh Gods, what if I was scaring him and he just didn't know how to react to such things? I'd never had such aggressive urges plague me before and they just had to pop up  _now_ , of all times. Can't I just focus on  _one_  thing at a time?!

I still had this Winter Ball to overcome and there I was acting like some hormonal teenager. Perhaps if such things bothered me, I could just smash my head into the wall. That could most certainly work. I contemplated my impromptu solution as I stared blankly at the wall in front of me, Dorian and Varric speaking to one another rather quietly not far away.

Yes.

_'Thud!' 'Thud!' 'Smack!'_

The third time I tried to drive my forehead into the wall I hit someone's hand and I crossed my eyes, trying to stare at it.

"Are you  _quite_  alright?" Dorian was the one to ask the question as he removed his hand from my forehead and I slowly turned to look at him. I rose a brow upon finding out that his conversation with our resident storytelling dwarf had long but ended. "Needlessly assaulting the wall with your forehead, hmmm? Why, dare I ask, are you doing such a thing?"

Apparently Varric sought out a very fidgety looking blonde rogue in the corner where I'd left him. Both of whom were looking at me like I'd completely lost my marbles. Maybe I have. Cullen looked at me like I'd gone an announced that I was his mother or something. In short, he thought I was a lunatic.

Shaking my head, I felt it throb from the new pain for a few moments, I looked back at the Tevinter and tilted my head. He was wearing a pretty cool looking mask and I couldn't help but feel even more jealous.

"Dorian gets a mask? I want a mask." I stated just as Lavellan walked out of the room and called for everyone to head out toward the Palace. Dorian didn't say anything about my abrupt change in subject. Or, rather, my evasiveness about why I'd just tried to murder a wall with my forehead. The mage in question straightened at my statement, a small but concerned smile forming on his face.

"Why because I am from house Pavus, of course." Did people from Tevinter even wear masks like the people from Orlais did? Well, his was definitely different than any of the ones I saw. Made out of more flimsy but expensive looking material, inlaid with gold and silver embellishments. It matched his current attire, as well. That was obvious. But still!

"Can I be from house Pavus, too?" I muttered without thinking, getting a wide eyed look out of the man before he laughed and waved his hands exaggeratedly. Our feet made light padding noises as we made our way down the stairs and out into the street. Some Inquisition soldiers and scouts saluted when the Inquisitor and Commander both exited from the front of our group, then proceeded with escorting us in the right direction.

"My my, you really know how to make a man blush don't you?" The Tevinter sounded rather amused, "Though you should really work on getting the ambiance right. Maybe more flowers, candles, a better location."

He listed casually and I stared at him for a moment before I realized he was saying I was proposing to him. Or at least implying it. Instead of getting angry or threatening him, like I probably would have months ago, I decided to play along.

"Hmmmm, well. If it gets me a mask, I'll have to endure. I don't suppose you know where to buy some flowers?" Man, if I were serious I'd be bad at this. "Oh …. do you also have some money to buy said flowers?"

"But first you must duel my lover to the death, as it is customary in Tevinter. Lovely, yes?" I wasn't sure if he was shitting me or actually serious about it being a custom from his home country. He was probably shitting me, knowing him. Again, I simply went with it.

"Alright, well after I win against Bull what my face looks like wouldn't matter anyway. Right? I would have a mask." I spoke seriously, nodding my head.

"Such persistence!"

* * *

When the ornate gates came into view, I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat at the sight. I still thought this was bullshit.

I could throw myself into battle, despite my obvious lack of experience, and face down dragons (well, technically I ran like a bitch). But for the love of fucking God, I could not walk into the Palace in a dress and pretend to be something I was not. Social situations were not my forte, not that fighting was. But I'd much rather fight some Venatori or bandits than walk and talk like some pompous noble. At least that way I could see my enemy coming and react accordingly. This? No. Just no. People would act like they like me and stab me in my sleep, for all I knew.

Why were we even doing this, anyway? Was this all people cared about, aside from the fact that Corypheus was trying to take over the world and kill everyone?  _Did no one care about that?_ Something that actually fucking mattered!

My mind rant was completely snuffed out when I felt my hand being squeezed and I took deep steady breaths as we slowly walked toward the Palace. It wasn't far away and the light in the cloudless sky was dying out as the moon slowly popped up, stars twinkling in the distance.

"Fear choking; Anger blinding. Emotions a torrent – like a dam cracking and crumbling under pressure. You can't let it." Just hearing Cole's voice seemed to soothe my nerves, "Remember they can't hurt you, I won't let them."

"I think I'm doing a pretty good job at doing that myself, anyway." I muttered disdainfully, referring to the fact that I almost murdered the wall only minutes ago. His hand squeezed mine again, reassuringly. "Are you nervous, too?"

"A little. So many people, so many faces. They will remember if they see me."

"Are you going to remain hidden or 'mingle' like I'm supposed to?" I couldn't help the way my noses scrunched in distaste at the idea, "Ugh... I don't want to do this."

"The Inquisitor wants me to listen and see, like I usually do." Cole answered, eyes slowly moving forward toward Lavellan at the front of our group. I responded by pulling his hand into mine and threading our fingers together.

"Good luck."

"Yes. You too."

I stood up straighter in attempts to loosen my stance and calm myself further, but it didn't seem to work. My shoulders wouldn't untense and it still felt like there was a knot in my stomach.

The Inquisition scouts escorting us marched forward in formation, feet tapping onto the stone in unison as they spread apart on each side of the walkway on the other side of the gate. Their hands came up onto their chests, in what I assumed was a salute, and Lavellan walked forth with all the confidence in the world.

She didn't even falter as she approached a man with a gold mask covering most of his face as he stood in front of a fountain, gold lion statues positioned around – what is it with these people and gold? The moon lit up the outer courtyard, allowing us to see everything just fine. Some glow lamps were positioned on the walls and dappled around in random places.

I heard not what they were saying as we slowly approached behind the Inquisitor. My hands clasped in front of my body, holding my fan that I'd gotten from Dagna. I noticed that Leliana and Josephine had an identical fan. It seemed the dwarf had been able to replicate them, which was good news. At least it was a form of comfort and protection, just in case.

"The rumors coming out of the Western Approach say you battled an army of demons and came out alive … and with a powerful ally." The man with the gold mask spoke in a cultured voice, his arm coming up to rest against his body as he used the other to make his point. I couldn't see where his eyes were even looking, but his head had turned in my direction only briefly. "Imagine what the Inquisition could accomplish with the full support of the rightful Emperor of Orlais."

Ah, so that's what this fucker was after. Was this the Gaspard dude? He was wearing metal pauldrons and pieces of glinting armor over a gaudy suit of some sort. It seemed that this was all just a political game, a grab at the throne. Everyone was always seeking power. Grasping for more and more.  
I tried not to let my face express the way my thoughts turned dark, just then.

"Yes, I can see many benefits to such an alliance." Lavellan replied pleasantly, a friendly smile plastered on her face.

"Keep the image firmly in mind. We may see it materialize by the end of the evening." Was his response and I felt my fingers grip onto my fan in response. "I am not a man who forgets his friends, Inquisitor. You help me, I'll help you."

The two walked forward and out of hearing range, closer to the grand fountain. The water splashed and their voices were drowned out by the distance. A few of the others appeared to step forward a few steps and I followed suit, not knowing what else to do. Vivienne and Cassandra were at Lavellan's right and I appeared at her left.

Gaspard and Lavellan nodded at one another and suddenly the masked man's attention was on me.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you." He grabbed my hand and put his lips against my knuckles. I frowned and had to stifle the urge to growl. What came out instead, was a hiss. The man froze up and looked at me and I was probably glaring. No, I  _knew_  I was glaring.

"You must forgive me, Madame. For I had not intended to offend you so. I am unfamiliar with the customs of your world, you see." He let go of my hand swiftly, as if I were about to tear it off of his body. And I would, if I could. Him touching me had made my skin crawl in the most unpleasant way, "Here, it is a respectable way to greet a lady such as yourself."

I peered over at the Inquisitor, who was standing beside Cassandra and Vivienne. Both of whom looked pale, like I'd done something horribly wrong. I looked back at Gaspard and nodded faintly, "It is an outdated way of greeting people back where I am from. I apologize, I had misinterpreted."

My ass, I just didn't want him touching me.

"We're keeping the court waiting, Inquisitor. Shall we?" He commented pleasantly as he straightened himself, though I could see the way his jaw set in what seemed to be irritation. I couldn't see much else.

This wasn't starting out very well and I couldn't help the roiling of my stomach, followed by the strong urge to vomit. Perhaps I could regurgitate on this Gaspard person and go back to the inn?

Unlikely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps I am torturing them too much. xD


	34. Wicked Eyes and Wicked Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lyn is frustrated with the Winter Ball. Also, shit happens.

Once Gaspard ascended the steps up into the Palace, we were left alone in a small group. Thrown to the sharks, would be a good terminology. Maybe piranhas? Piranhas swarm, tearing the flesh off of their living prey, and swim in schools. Yeah, maybe piranhas. When the groups of nobles spoke, they didn't even attempt to lower their voices to keep us from hearing. It was like they  _wanted_  us to hear. Wanted us to know we weren't welcomed. Didn't belong.

And me, being me. I got pissed off when my friends were insulted. It didn't help that Lavellan was pretty much the sweetest woman I'd ever met and these people were judging her so quickly. They haven't even met her! Inner me hissed and scratched, wanting to throw their fine wine in their faces.

Sera was in the same state as I, though her rage was tempered and hidden masterfully. Lavellan appeared as if she didn't even hear anything. Vivienne and Cassandra were at her flanks looking as strong and noble as ever, blending in almost effortlessly. The same went for Dorian, who had grown up in nobility. Walking and talking with people like this likely came as easy as breathing. Solas walked with an agile grace I'd not noticed of him, ambling behind the Inquisitor as if it were the most natural thing to do. One would almost think him to be of noble origin, as well.

Cole and I simply fumbled around behind the small group awkwardly. Though I doubt anyone could see the blonde rogue at my side. There were times he'd flitter out of my vision, only to appear moments later standing next to a group of people across the courtyard. They didn't jump or gawk at him, so I assumed he was using his gift to remain unseen by those certain peoples.

I fiddled with the black embroidery on the restricting material around my torso (thank fuck it wasn't a corset), the shape of roses glinted up at me from underneath the glow lamp. My hand trailing up to rest on the wood pendant that rested in the middle of my chest. I'd refused to remove it, much to Vivienne's chagrin. We were standing on the outside of the Palace when I heard some not-so-silent whispered words from my right.

"What was Gaspard even thinking? Is it a joke? Bringing that  _ **elf**_  to the Ball. It is a disgrace!" A rather plump woman put her hand over her mouth as she stared critically at our group.

"Ugh." Was a man's reply.

"The Inquisitor is an  _elf?_  I thought it was just a rumor, but –" The woman facing me choked and laughed nervously, as I'd slowly turned in their direction and sent possibly the best burning glare I could muster.

I couldn't help it that time and I scowled. This wasn't going to be easy. She paused in her talk and stared back at me, her friends' backs were turned as they chattered pointlessly. The woman that was looking in my direction was wearing a mask of some sort, which obscured any expression I saw on her face.

I lifted my hand and pointed at my eyes with my pointer and middle finger and flicked it back in her direction, the obvious 'I'm watching you' gesture, before turning and strutting off.

"One must temper their expression lest they give away their true intentions." Solas murmured as I caught up with the rest of them. Shut up, Solas.

" _Elves_. They're always racist against the elves and it pisses me off. How about I-" My voice was low enough that only the people in the direct vicinity would have heard, which was only our group, but Solas shut me up with a look. I'd been about to threaten the people verbally, which would have been incredibly stupid on my part. The chances of someone overhearing was still there. I muttered, "Whatever."

Elves were looked down upon much like some of the minorities were at some point on Earth. Though most of that has withered away with time, it was still there. It would always be there and I knew that.

My obvious disdain for their actions must have showed up on my face, because the damn bald elf was staring at me with that calculating look of his. I returned it, staring back and refusing to break eye contact. Wanna go, Solas? Wanna see these hands?

In all honesty, I probably wouldn't hurt him unless he greatly deserved it (which he didn't). I only liked thinking I would, to make myself feel better.

He wouldn't back down. Neither would I. My posture straightened and I tried to appear taller, but even he was taller than I. The hobo-mage didn't even attempt to move, but the look in his eyes changed and I could have swore he _glared_  at me for a second there. Ho-oh, I wouldn't submit that easily.

"Is there something wrong?" Lavellan's sickeningly sweet voice filtered into my ears and I felt my shoulders slump, eyes averting over to her almost immediately. The wavy haired elf had a fake smile plastered on her face as she looked at us both, the statement clear. 'Behave or pay'.

I swallowed nervously.

Ah, but the racism that ensued that evening. We lingered around out in the front courtyard for maybe ten minutes, mostly Lavellan and a few of the more socially adept people 'mingled'. I think the Inquisitor helped someone with something, I couldn't be sure. I was too focused on how clammy my hands felt and how my legs wouldn't stop wobbling.

It would take a bit, but I'm sure I would adjust. I wasn't allowed to appear pissed off or angry, so trying to cope with the situation in my usual way was a no-go. When in doubt, get angry. Anger was such an overpowering emotion and it was easy to feel. But it was also the emotion that was the hardest to control and made you act rashly, throwing logic out the window. So it was dangerous. Like playing with fire, you're bound to get burned at some point. I just hope I didn't get burned tonight.

So when I kept hearing comments about Lavellan's race and the prejudice that followed, I had to physically keep myself in check by clutching onto the metal fan in my hands as I stared at the doors as they opened to allow us entrance.

Though it seemed it wasn't just me that was nervous. Once Josephine was done speaking to Lavellan, she muttered underneath her breath. "Andraste watch over us all."

If even the  _Ambassador_  was nervous about this event, perhaps my fear was well-founded.

* * *

The comments wouldn't stop, as I strode behind the small group that represented the Inquisition. For the third time already that night, I contemplated the consequences of using my fan to rip someone's dress up.

"Why are there so many elves, here?"

"The Empress invited them. Be polite."

Then there were others that made me want to laugh, directed at  _me_  as I ambled beside Lavellan for a short period of time.

"She  _looks_  human, but is she really?" I heard someone whisper as I strode toward some people I recognized from the Inquisition. Oh, come on. Really? Is that all you can think of? The classic 'is she even human' question.

Words didn't bite into me like they used to. I'd been called much worse things and the thought made me want to laugh.

"I don't know. Didn't they say she mercilessly slaughtered five men for insulting her?" The other person, a man I realized, spoke back and I turned to look – curiosity piqued. They'd said that? I'd been hearing many things, but that one was new.

"I hear they are allied with the templars. Perhaps it is in our best interest that  _she_  is under the Inquisition's watch."

"Shhh! She's looking this way."

I flipped my fan open and covered the scowl forming on my face. The sound caused a few of the women to jump and skitter back a few steps. People were stupid.

Everyone had been introduced at some point, leaving me to 'mingle'. I hated the fact that I had to use a fake surname. I hated the fact that they introduced me as 'of Earth', (Where the fuck had they gotten that information, anyway?). Most of all, I hated the way everyone gasped when they saw me appear down the staircase. All eyes on me. Whispering. Murmuring.  _Spreading lies_ , deceit and plotting. Nerves on end, needles underneath my skin. Everything closing in and my breathing quickened. In out. In out.

_I was going to have a fucking panic attack._

Hadn't had one in years.

But I didn't. I kept my mind on the way the fabric from my dress flowed down and covered my legs, hitting the floor elegantly. The way the warm air hit my bare shoulders. The surroundings melted away and it was like everything was background noise as I made my way up the staircase on the other side of the Ballroom. Done.

I just had to remember that Lavellan and Dorian had gotten a similar reaction, so I wasn't alone. When they introduced Solas as 'Lady Inquisitor's elven serving man' I almost rolled over and died. Fortunately I was able to bite my tongue and simply smile cheesily at him. And then Sera's introduction sounded something like 'My balls itch of course' and I lost it. I swore my snort echoed through the halls before I tempered it and pretended it never happened as I waved my fan in my face frantically.

What struck me as odd was they didn't even introduce Cole. I envied him, for the hundredth time that evening. I thought of how much I envied his ability to float around unseen. Being invited as a guest with the Inquisitor gave me the  _privilege_  of being noticed by many people. I idly wondered how Dorian was doing, being a Tevinter and all. And a mage. Perhaps I would seek him out later and we could bask in our pariah status together.

Strength in numbers.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't just Lavellan and I that were getting the stink eye. Dorian was, too. As mentioned before. But what baffled me was that Solas, poor unassuming Solas, wasn't even given a second glance. His suit wasn't flashy at all and he mostly stuck at the Inquisitor's side. Vivienne and Cassandra were revered, almost. Cassandra because of some incident where she took down a dragon here in the city (Being the Right Hand of the Divine helped, as well) and Vivienne because of her high status as a noble in Orlais.

* * *

Just when I thought that I was finally able to get away from the scathing looks and racist comments, I ran into this douche. I'd been ambling around, looking at all of the ornate decorations and eventually found myself in a mostly empty hallway. Mostly, because a man was standing with his head held high and sneering down at a young elven servant as she picked up something on the floor.

That certain something that attracted my attention, actually. I'd heard something shatter.

"Dirty knife ears never get anything right." The Orlesian noble scoffed at the elf that was now on the ground trying to clean up the mess he had made. He must have felt mighty comfortable, seeing as how there were barely any people in the hall he was in. "I said a fine Ghislain White not this cheap horsepiss. Get it right, next time!"

It might have just been because back on Earth I was considered a 'minority', but the racism toward elves was really starting to get to me. I'd experienced a good amount of racism back when I was a child, from both sides. I was never 'white' or 'brown' enough for my peers, so I was cast out and got to see that  _lovely_  side of humanity at a young and tender age.

But seeing the blatant maltreatment made something in me snap, the simmering irritation that I'd been feeling all night turned into a boiling rage so fast that I swore I could hear it in my ears. It didn't help that the girl looked to be no more than 16 or so. I squared my shoulders and slowly walked toward the duo, boots thumping on the shiny pristine floor as I made my approach.

The man had a shiny gold mask with a pointed nose as he turned to look at me, his lips curving into a pleasant smile. It appeared as though he were about to greet me, if the way he bowed was anything to go by. I simply ignored the man, walking passed him and up to the elf – leaning down to help the girl pick up the shattered pieces of the bottle of wine that he'd knocked out of her hands.

"M-My Lady, you shouldn't-"

"You are injured." I cut her off, pointing lazily at the small elf's bloodied fingers. It wasn't horrible, but her pale skin was becoming stained as she picked the pieces up without any care for her own welfare. "Just go clean yourself up, he will ask someone else to  _fetch_  him his fine wine."

I couldn't keep the amount of disdain I felt for him out of my tone as I slowly stood up and straightened my posture. The man was obviously shocked at the display, his hand held up to his chest as he gawked. Was what I did not a good thing? Was it looked down upon? Below me?

I had to resist the urge to sneer at the man. Perhaps I was no better, but people like this disgusted me.

That's bullshit. I was treating her like a person, not some object to order around on a whim. I could see why Sera really disliked the upper class. His expression was mostly hidden behind his flashy mask, but judging by the way his mouth was in a firm frown – he likely disapproved of my actions.

"Or perhaps you could fetch it yourself, after I turn you into a dog." I forced a smile onto my face, knowing all too well that one of the few mages to come had been me. He would realize. He would know.

"It would certainly beat the alternative. Do you know what we do to racists back in my home world?" I continued after he didn't speak and fully intended to use such fear to my advantage, now that I saw an opportunity. He must have realized finally, because he took a small step back, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly.

His knees trembled, head shaking back and forth furiously. My brown gaze flicked around, seeing no one else in the direct vicinity. Oh, what the hell. My reputation was already tarnished as it was, why not feed the rumors a little? What's the worst that could happen?

" _We kill them."_ Came my rather uncharacteristically chipper reply, my head tilting to the side as my grin widened. I was sorely tempted to giggle to add to the creepiness, but decided against it.

The noble man didn't even speak, letting out a small noise as he promptly turned around and scurried off down the hallway. Expensive white shoes clicking on the ornate floors as he turned the corner, never to be seen again. Not once did he glance back to see my gleeful expression at the fact that it had worked! The mage thing wasn't  _all_  bad, it seemed.

"I-Is it true, My Lady? T-They kill them?"

"Nah. They're scorned, but not killed. Unfortunately. I apologize that you had to put up with that." I spoke before looking to the fidgety elf girl. "I'll take my leave."

"Yes, My Lady." She bowed and I returned the gesture, trying my best to be polite. Trying, key word.

What the hell is with all of the racists here today?! I had encountered a few, back in Skyhold, but they were few and far between. Though I'm sure there were more than I'd actually had the joy of 'seeing', they simply knew to keep their mouths shut. The ones here did not and it irritated me to no end.

In short, I really really wanted to bash some heads in at that point. I'd already threatened a man, which I did not regret, and definitely would not mind threatening another. I wondered if I would get thrown out for such behavior. Unless they were too scared to say anything while I was still here?

**Third Person**

Much of their weapons had been smuggled in by some Inquisition agents and left in a designated area. They would need to get this done swiftly, Vivienne having stayed back in the Ballroom – where she shined best.

The small band of friends weren't completely unarmed, but at a small disadvantage in such unfavorable circumstances. It was much easier for the mages to walk around simply in their uniforms that they'd worn to the Ball, enchantments had been woven into them to enhance spellcasting.

It was, however, much harder for the warrior and rogues to attain their armor.

Any of the enemies they encountered in the more restricted areas of the Palace were taken down in haste. Not only because they had two assassins in the party, but because they were swift and efficient. Having worked alongside one another for awhile now, everyone was familiar with one another's fighting styles. The familiarity allowed for them to better focus on the battle and move amongst one another with ease.

Cole had come to learn he didn't like 'the Game'. Being privy to people's thoughts and feelings gave him a window into something no one else could see. Everyone was deceiving everyone, never showing their true colors. Masks upon masks, melded and molded to keep people at bay. Make them see what wasn't.

It was like a play. Nothing was real and everyone was acting, speaking and whispering thoughts they didn't think. It was real but it wasn't, which only served to make things more confusing to the blonde rogue. He pulled his dagger out of a man's back, not even waiting to watch him fall to the ground – disappearing and reappearing behind another that was about to strike Cassandra's flank. Easily dispatching another man, his lithe form danced across the battlefield ducking and dodging.

During their time investigating, and Inquisitor Lavellan had made sure to investigate everyone she could, he could almost  _taste_  the betrayal. Many men they'd come across had been betrayed by their superiors, the people they thought they trusted. Many people died and murdered and for what? It was the side of humanity that scared Cole. Just how easily people could get tossed aside and killed.

The place was like a maze. Why anyone would need so much space was beyond him.

Then they happened to meander their ways into the Royal Wing, where the Empress' quarters were. What awaited them was quite unexpected, that was for sure.

Cassandra made a grossed out noise at what they witnessed as they entered the Empress' room. A man, wearing only a helmet, was tied to the bed posts with some rope. He struggled, legs and arms wriggling around as he turned and looked at the group of people that entered the room.

"P-Please, it isn't what it looks like. I'd have preferred if it was what it looks like, but it isn't!" He forced out, face turning pink in embarrassment. "Just help me out-"

"Ugh." The Seeker held her hand up to shield her line of vision as she turned her head away with a scrunched nose. Cole tilted his head curiously. In the books she read, they often would do such things. Even Dorian and The Iron Bull were fascinated with the idea of doing what they were currently witnessing.

Sera laughed at the man tied up in Celene's bed. "She'll be all prim, but here's you with all yer bits out."

"You know, you got yourself into this position yourself. I could just leave you here for someone else to find." Lavellan tapped her chin as she appeared to contemplate what to do with the man. Though Cole knew she wouldn't simply leave him there.

"No! Don't! I'll do anything. Anything!" The man pleaded, struggling even more against the binds. The expensive bed creaked as he flailed, ornate bed posts acting as anchors to keep him in place.

"Anything, you say?" The Inquisitor giggled a little, allowing a smile to make it's way onto her face. "Didn't that get you into your current position?"

The man made a disgruntled noise, his face tinging pink as he tried to glare at the Inquisitor but failed.

"Don't worry. Would you testify if I asked it of you? If so, I will release you from your binds." She offered with a grin that almost matched Sera's, who stood beside her trying to withhold her cackles. "Perhaps we could even keep this under wraps, yes?"

"Yes, please!" And just like that, he was freed and able to cover his body with his missing armor that lay at the foot of the bed. Strewn on the floor and glinting up at him as if greeting him.

"It's funny, innit? He only had 'is helmet on." Sera snorted as the man scurried out of the room, "Unless Empress-ladybits is into that kinda thing, ya know?"

"People do it all the time, do you think Lyn would like it?" Cole asked, genuinely curious as he eyed the ropes that lay limply on the bed. The man had since dressed and left, but they still lingered to poke around the room for anything they could use to their advantage.

This left Cole to his thoughts, which had been getting increasingly loud these passed few days. Those thoughts also made his body react in odd ways. He knew what it was, it had just … never really happened. None of that stuff ever used to bother him. Not until he met Lyn. The woman seemed to be a special exception to many things when it came to him.

Though his own thoughts were never loud enough to filter out the kinds of things he was reading off of the otherworlder when they were close to one another. Not that he disliked it. The same things would oftentimes flicker through his own head, familiar things he'd seen in books.

Yes, seen. He never  _read_  books, but  _listened_  to other people read books. The rogue began to shift uncomfortably, hands fiddling with the bottom of his shirt as he looked around. Sera was staring at him with disgust clear on her little round face.

Oh, right. He'd made a comment about Lyn and she wasn't taking it too well.

"Uuugh! Now it's in my head!" Sera clutched at her choppy blonde hair as her expression slowly morphed into horror, "We are not talkin' about this, really? Can someone please shut him up?"

Him?

Sera had never called him a  _him_  before. It was always 'it' or 'creepy'.

"You called me him! Thank you!"

"Rrrgggh!" Sera sounded frustrated.

"Do you think this is perhaps something you should ask her about in person?" Lavellan butted in and tacked on at the end. "Please?"

"Oh, sorry."

"Why – have you wished to indulge in such activities, Cole?" Dorian was looking at him in what seemed to be morbid curiosity. Solas was silent as ever, even to Cole, as he lingered near the door.

"Maybe." His face felt warm, his mind conjuring an image of Lyn tied up to the bed posts. Brown eyes staring back at him with a burning intensity that sent his heart stuttering. He then stared back at the Tevinter mage with wide eyes, suddenly feeling bashful. "Yes."

It seemed it wasn't just Lyn that had some problems with controlling those thought processes. Cole found that it was quite involuntary. It just happened.

"Talk any louder and you will alert our enemies of our position." Cassandra drawled with an unamused look on her face, though Lavellan spotted the faint blush staining the Seeker's cheeks.

"The people in the books you read do it too. Bound with silk ribbons, tied to the headboard. Gentle caresses on soft supple flesh, thoughts spiraling-" He was cut off by Cassandra's horrified/disgusted noise.

"Enough!" She snapped out, face flushing even more so that it was now visible to everyone else in the room.

Cole's eyes went wide when he looked over at the Seeker, "No, not like that!"

"What  _are_  you thinking about, Cassie?" Lynn smiled over at the warrior who snapped her eyes in her direction.

"Cassandra." She corrected in a clipped tone as she coughed into her hand. "And it is nothing to concern yourself over, Inquisitor. Let us move on."

"Bet she's a freak in the sheets, right? Knew it!" Sera was quick to bounce back, her ever changing mood sometimes gave even Cole whiplash.

* * *

Lavellan heard a man screaming, causing them to leap into action and burst through the doors that lead to a small garden area. A fountain positioned in the middle of plush green grass and – Venatori agents lined the walls aiming their weapons at them. They were vastly outnumbered.

Great.

A typical 'bad guy' speech ensued as Florianne practically gloated about the fact that the wavy haired elf fell for the bait and was now trapped. The Duchess seemed so certain that they would die right then and there, still talking casually as if they were not a threat.

"All I need is to keep you out of the Ballroom long enough to strike." The woman on the balcony smiled kindly, "A pity, really. The Venatori won't fail this time when they try to take your mage."

No one noticed the way Cole's eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared up at the woman on the balcony.

"What would they want with Lyn?" She questioned, thinking about the two times she was taken. Well, once she was actually kidnapped and they attempted another in the Hissing Wastes. It seemed a little too much work for one woman, didn't it?

"All I know is she is crucial in his plans. Who am I to question his judgment? I will soon rule all of Thedas in his name, after all." The Duchess shrugged her question off, "The girls have some special abilities, from what I heard. I have to admit-"

She was cut off when a dagger flew passed her head and she stared in open shock at the rogue who dare interrupt her speech.

"Enough talk. Kill her and bring me her marked hand." Lavellan didn't give her a chance to speak again, simply diving off to the side. Everything seemed to slow down, just then. Arrows from their bows were released and flew by with a  _'fwip!'_ , barely missing her. Her heart sped up and adrenaline pumped through her veins as she rolled into a crouch.

The elf's hand shot out, outstretched as she felt the familiar sensation in her palm pulsating. Then she clasped her hand and pulled back, like ripping a thread out of a shirt. The air tore, gaping green as it sent demons forth into the chaos. It had worked to their advantage, stirring up their enemies as they had to decide which to focus on. The Inquisitor and her group or the demons around them.

"Rift!" One of their enemies screeched, only to get targeted first and attacked by the green misty form of a wraith.

Everything began almost immediately, enemies distraught and in disarray as they were forced to either deal with the wraiths or Lavellan and her group. Unfortunately the Venatori men were right next to the rift as it spewed blackened liquid, oozing out of it like a festering wound, pooling onto the perfectly trimmed grass of the garden.

It ended as quick as it began, though not without any injuries. Some of them were scuffed up with blood slowly seeping out of shallow wounds, but nothing fatal. Fortunately.

"Have you heard anything yet, Cole?" Lavellan asked, still out of breath as she leaned forward. The others cleaned themselves off and performed standard first aid before they were to head out.

"I heard her. It was black, gripping and grasping until she wanted more and more. Florianne knows a lot. Knew a lot. Rumors, lies, and deceit. She was the one to tell everyone about Lyn. They  _wanted_  her to be here at the Ball with you. It was their plan." He sounded uncharacteristically angered, or maybe irritated. The elf couldn't tell, but she knew she didn't ever want to be on the receiving end of that glare.

Lavellan paled a little, a frown marring her lightly tanned face.

"We suspected Venatori being responsible for the rumors and we weren't wrong, I guess. Though it seems we now know our culprit for who has been the one feeding the lies." The elf paused, staring at him with a slight squint before asking another question. "How have you been faring otherwise?"

"Good. So many masks, not just the ones on their faces either." Cole spoke softly, eyes slowly trailing over everyone in the group – who were currently preoccupied. "Lyn wears a mask, too. But she doesn't do it to use or hurt anyone but to protect. Hardened, cold, shards of ice on the outside – soft, sweet, serene on the inside. She doesn't like it when people know, but  _you_  know."

"We all wear masks. Some are thicker than others." The Inquisitor nodded solemnly, lips curving upward into a saddened smile.

"Florianne said girls. She knows about Angel." Sera interrupted suddenly, causing her to jump slightly.

"I know." Lavellan winced, "We can't tell Lyn about that, right now. Alright?"

"Tha' ain't right, she deserves to know yeah?" The blonde elf disagreed, "She's 'er sister."

"Lyn already has enough on her plate as it is, Sera. If she finds out about that now, how well do you think she'll be able to hold up out there?" Lavellan explained to the loud elf, trying to get through to her. "I'll tell her after this is done and over."

Sera looked like she was about to protest but with one look from Lavellan, her posture slumped and she shook her head and looked away. "Yeah, whatever."

"We need to keep an eye on her, the chances of another attempt at taking her has just went up." She spoke seriously, "We cannot have that happen."

Not just because the Inquisitor saw the otherworlder as a friend, but also because of what Corypheus may be planning and what it was that he needed her for. It was unnerving. As for the Ball …

It seemed there was foul play on all sides. The Inquisitor wasn't so blind as to not realize that and had been rather thorough as she made her way through the more restricted parts of the palace. If she could have any say in it, she wouldn't allow any assassination to take place. She thought it to be absurd that they didn't just sit down and actually have a peace talk instead of trying to plot to stab one another behind the back.

Doing that wouldn't get them any progress, if you asked Lavellan. More like taking one step forward and two steps back. The woman usually preferred to stay neutral and watch the goings-ons, but as Inquisitor she'd likely have to choose between the three. She didn't like that thought. If it were up to her, they would all be forced to work with one another – despite their differences. At least until the world wasn't in danger, then they could settle their disputes.

Celene dying would likely cause an uproar of sorts, leaving the court in disarray. Gaspard had his own followers, as did Briala. But that didn't mean that they would have everyone's support. Choosing one came with dire consequences, no matter the selection. The wavy haired elf's eyes darkened, her face taking on a somber quality.

"We can get through this, Inky. Don' worry too much 'bout it, 'kay?" Lavellan felt Sera's hand as it wrapped around her arm comfortingly as they strode forth toward the Ballroom. They sometimes didn't agree with their decisions and fought about things, but that didn't mean that the dalish elf would allow their conflicting views to drive a wedge between them.

"Yeah, we'll figure this out." Her voice echoed in the empty halls of the Palace, feet not even making any noise. "We cannot allow Corypheus to gain the upper hand. The fate of Thedas rides on what happens here tonight."

"Well, when ya put it tha' way..." Now it was Sera's turn to look nervous, causing the Inquisitor to let out a laugh as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"We'll succeed because we  _have_  to." Lavellan unsheathed her daggers, holding them out as she stalked her way back through the next door. They had no time to waste.

**First Person**

"She …. to …. Gaspard and the Empress?" I heard murmurs in the background but couldn't really decipher any of them fully,  _"No way!"_

"Yes!"

Some giggles erupted and I noted how some people would sometimes look in my direction. The way their eyes were always hidden behind either a half-mask or a full mask always filled me with unease. Not being able to read people by staring at their facial features had me at a clear disadvantage.

I'd, at some point, made my way over toward a white couch with gold inlaid on the edges. The walls and statues, even the railings had gold on it. White and gold was a common theme in this palace, it seemed.

I forced the urge down to glare at the assholes standing in a small circle in front of me by the railing. That's all they really were, having nothing better to do than to try and make one another's lives more miserable. To claw their way up the social ladder and for what? I was positioned next to the plush and gaudy couch, but had stood up at some point upon feeling threatened. I flipped my fan out to appear 'shy', yet again. It was getting tiring. I just wanted to tear this damnable dress off and fall asleep in a soft bed somewhere.

'The Game' was like a tide, ebbing and flowing. Constantly changing and if I didn't keep up with it, I'd get swept away.

Much like what was happening  _current_ ly. (Heh. Get it? Current-ly. No? Alright.)

It was almost like a slap to the face, but I'd barely been able to conceal my bafflement when a small group of people had surrounded me and began asking me questions. They were attempting to be friendly with me and it was making me nervous. What did they want? Were they trying to scope out my weakness? Were they trying to corner me?

What was worse, was that they had their faces almost completely covered by those blasted shiny silver masks. Their questions were rather pointless, if you ask me.

"So, Mistress of the Fade. What is your  _type?"_ Mistress of the – Jesus this shit was getting more ridiculous by the hour. The nosey woman wouldn't stop her incessant questioning.

I believe this is what humans did when they tried to bond with one another, was it not? Like, trying to form a friendship by making small talk? It was not something I was used to nor familiar with. I blinked at the woman, her mask only covering her eyes and nose as she stared at me with a gentle smile on her lips.

"T-Type?" I asked softly, still holding up my fan as a barrier of sorts. It was almost comforting. Perfectly sculpted lips curved into a soft smile, a fan of her own flipping around in front of her face.

"In men, of course." Nosey nodded enthusiastically and tacked on almost suggestively, "Or women?"

"Oh, you know. Tall. Blonde hair." I idly replied, trying not to commit much to the conversation. If I did, they would continue to ask such things. Apparently it wasn't a sufficient answer, because they kept bugging me.

Why the sudden change in attitude? Even the people who had been previously sending me judgmental glances or sometimes outright glares had begun to ignore me.

"Oh, but when they introduced you to the court – they spoke of another world. Is it true?" I tried not to show my suspicion. Shouldn't these people be afraid to even approach me? Why  _these_  questions, of all things to ask? Mages were feared and shunned in this world. In Orlais and Ferelden, as far as I knew. But not …  _oh_. What if this person was Tevinter? A Venatori agent?

"Yes." Was my short reply in attempts to keep the fear from my tone, immediately putting up my guard.

"Please tell us more about this … place you come from, yes?"

"I am afraid that would take  _much_  too long. Perhaps over some tea sometime?" A rehearsed line that Vivienne had taught me. It came out flawlessly, thanks to her constant urging at me repeating it over and over. Among many others …

"I just may take you up on that offer." The woman smiled, but it almost appeared as if she were smirking. I swallowed and a few of the others had begun to talk, as well.

Some of the ladies began to comment on how exotic I looked because I was from another world. A total lie. Some said I looked cute. Another lie. Some asked if I was taken. Obviously, yes. The nature of this 'Game' that Lavellan and Vivienne tried to teach me made absolutely no sense.

What they had taught me didn't prepare me for this.

Hours ago I was scorned and looked down upon, now they were flocking. Well, flocking would hardly be the right term. Seeing as how only two or three had approached me thus far. More like surrounding me like wolves seeking out their next meal. Sharks circling their prey at the smell of blood.

The thought sent a shiver down my spine but I managed to keep it unseen.

What was funny, was that I noticed Cullen in a similar predicament. Though I think mine was because of my potential at gaining status in this world. Or whatever reason it was that they were suddenly surrounding me for. (I still think they might be Venatori). Cullen was being tormented for his good looks. Poor poor man.

Without much of a thought, I slowly made my way over to the man. He was surrounded by a group of his own, no other Inquisition agent in sight.

"D-did you just grab my bottom?" Cullen stuttered, looking as if he couldn't believe it actually happened.

A few giggles erupt from the girls and I scowled at how disrespectful they were. What a bunch of –

"Oh? What do we have here?" I forced a smile on my face on purpose to look creepy as I looked at the group. Cullen looked a little perturbed but noticed the small group behind me, light brown eyes widening in comprehension. "It seems you have some admirers, Cullen."

"I see you have a few of your own."

Probably not for the same reason as he, unfortunately. He is considered attractive, so therefore is able to attract people because of such. I, however, am only surrounded because of my status. Or what they believe may be my status, whatever that is. I still think they were probably Tevinter spies or Venatori agents.

"Oh my, is this the tall blonde haired man you spoke so fondly of?" Nosey asked, causing me to freeze in place. Oh, hell no. My head whipped in his direction, horror written on my features. She did not just –

Apparently they took my open expression as an affirmative.

"Scandalous! Commander Cullen and a  _mage_?" A man gasped and I suppose my expressions weren't doing me any favors at this time. What was it that Josephine and Vivienne said about 'The Game' again? Oh, right. It was brutal. "But you are an ex-templar, are you not?"

I was about to throw down some brutal beatings, soon.

"Forbidden love." A rather short woman sighed dreamily, her fan flipping around in her face.

Okay seriously, now I wanted to punch something.

It must have showed, because a few of them took a couple of steps back. It was like they expected me to burst into flames if I got so much as irritated. And perhaps I would. I most certainly felt like I was going to, if my obvious outrage at the situation was anything to go by.

"Is this true, Commander? How long have you two been … courting, if I may be so bold?" A woman from his group asked, voice muffled behind a green porcelain mask. We weren't. We really weren't.

"W-Well, you see –" His smile faltered a little.

"No need to be shy about it." Shorty giggled and a few of the others nodded. I listened to them gossip amongst themselves, Cullen once and awhile trying to throw in his two cents. They either pretended not to notice or didn't care. Probably because of the promise of telling such a 'juicy' secret was too much to pass up. Again, I reiterate my statement, high school.

Though, I stared at his – obviously larger – group and my own as they spoke. If it were true … wouldn't they leave us be? My eyes slowly trailed over toward the Commander, who looked like he was trying his best to hold in a fart. Well, that's what his expression told me. Lips pressed into a firm line, face reddened (likely embarrassment), light-brown eyes flicking to and fro almost frantically as he searched for a way to worm out of the situation.

I already formulated a small plan to worm my way out of the situation, so I shuffled a little closer to the ex-templar and stared at him cautiously. The nobles, who were too preoccupied, didn't notice my slight movement. Cullen, however, did. The blonde haired man turned his head down to me curiously, eyes pleading for a way out as they blinked furiously. He was obviously very uncomfortable with these people and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

A smirk formed on my face as I flipped my fan out to appear 'shy'. Oh yes, dearest little warrior. I knew of a way to get these pests out of the way. If he simply escorted me away onto a balcony, they would be free to make their own conclusions but at least we'd be out of shark infested waters for a short time. I was positioned at such an angle that only he was able to see my true expression and nervousness won out as it flickered through his gaze for the briefest of seconds.

Little did I know, I would only make things much  _much_  worse.

"Oy. I think I might have an idea." I whispered lowly, making sure my mouth was concealed by the fan. "We must make a tactical retreat."

"What?" Blondie was confused and I suppressed the urge to sigh.

"Could you just -"

The sharks smelled blood.

"Oh my, what are you two  _whispering_  about over there?" Nosey refocused her attention on us, that ever present smile on her face. It was rather unsettling. Her statement caused a few of the others to pause in their talking and look over at us. I swallowed nervously. Fuck.

"It is nothing to concern yourself with, Madame." I heard Cullen's polite voice at my left, followed by the feeling of a hand coming around my arm just above my elbow. Don't touch me. Don't. Get off. My head turned in his direction and I suppressed the urge to rip my arm away from him.

This wasn't what I had planned.

It seemed the Commander was as awkward as ever, however. He fumbled for a moment before speaking again, "We must take our leave, however. I regret to inform you that-"

They seemed to speak over him, at that point. Some of them begging him to stay and talk. Others expressing their disdain.

I couldn't hear what it was that the people were saying, because my thoughts were so loud. I wanted to protest being too close to the blonde haired Commander, but feared worsening the predicament. I wanted to make disgusted noises and squirm away, especially when I felt him pull me against his side. Gods no. Please stop this madness.

Someone said something I couldn't hear and they all got quiet, my gaze turning toward them and I couldn't help the way my eyes hardened into a glare. I couldn't help how my lips twitched into a scowl or the way my face turned red from irritation.

The nights events were finally boiling and bubbling over and I felt a growl rumble in my chest and rip through my mouth, causing a few of the Orlesian nobles to skitter back and stare at me incredulously.

"Back.  _Off_." My fan flipped closed with a loud  _'SNAP!'_  and more of them jumped. No one dared to speak. "I need some fucking air."

Little did I know, my actions were construed as being jealous.

I promptly stomped off toward the balcony, hearing heavy footfalls following close behind. I swore I heard Cullen apologize somehow, but I wasn't even paying attention. This was ridiculous. Why was I even playing along with all of this nonsense?

"You do realize the rumors are going to get worse now because of this?" The Commander pointed out as I stood near a railing out on an empty balcony, guards standing just behind us quietly. They were in full plate armor and I couldn't see their faces. Figures. I couldn't see anyone's faces this evening.

"You were the one looking at me with those pleading eyes of yours!" I hissed and whirled around. He sputtered, looking down at me with possibly the reddish blush I'd ever seen on his face.

"I-I was not  _pleading!_ "

"Oh, then I suppose you were just batting your eyelashes at me." I spoke rather seriously before continuing on in a deep tone that imitated his own, although crappily. "M-Maker. You're a cute boy and all, Cullen. But you're just not my type."

I flipped my fan out and flapped it around in my face dramatically, turning my head to the side and trying to suppress a smile. It was pretty amusing, in my opinion, and it helped the nerves from minutes ago slowly calm. It had been his reaction when he'd seen Sera's fake love note from me.

When I dared to look back up at the Commander, he was staring at me like he didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or not. An eyebrow was raised and it appeared as though he may have been suppressing a smirk.

"That is not what I meant. I-It's just. Maker, those women were relentless." He sighed dramatically, his hand running through his hair. "Though I must offer my thanks."

"Even though I totally fucked everything over." I shrugged and turned away, out toward the gardens. "Should have known that would happen."

I could have sworn, just then, I heard some screaming in the Ballroom. Shrugging it off, I simply stood outside and took some deep breaths. My hands clasped onto the cold stone that made up the railing of the balcony, overlooking a massive garden. I'm sure that if it were daytime, it would be full of lush greenery but instead was bathed in the blue hues offered by the moonlight.

Though this solace could not last forever, after all. Hiding on the balcony was hardly the way to solve our problems. So I clasped my hands behind my back and twirled around, feeling my dress and hair shift with the sudden movement, and faced the blonde Commander with a smirk on my face.

"Do you wanna chance going back to mingle with the wolves?" I offered, breaking him out of his own reverie as he stared out somewhere I could not see.

"R-Right, well -" He sounded as apprehensive as I felt about the idea of returning, his hands coming up to pull on his collar nervously. "We can't very well hide from them all night, can we?"

"Unfortunately."

"Indeed."

* * *

As we returned, Cullen slinking off so that he was lingering close to Josephine and Leliana this time, I stood next to the railing overlooking the Ballroom floor. People twirled and danced in sync. How they were able to do so was beyond me. Dancing was not something I indulged myself in. Vivienne and Lavellan had insisted I take dance lessons, but I'd told them I wouldn't be dancing anyway. It didn't really interest me at all.

My eyes trailed over the railing on the opposite side, seeing a rather large pink and blue splatter on the wall. My brows rose and I squinted, trying to get a better look. What had happened? Was that why people were screaming earlier? There was a woman crying somewhere off in the distance and I tried to locate her and when I did I almost cackled openly. The woman's dress was completely covered in the aforementioned paint. Now, I wonder who had done that?

Guess Sera wasn't kidding around when she said she would do something just to show me she could, without getting caught. Since I'd called bullshit on her story about the nobleman back at Skyhold. The culprit hadn't been found. Yet. We'll see what happens.

The night continued as planned, only I saw someone approaching the Empress as she stood in the middle where she'd previously made her speech.

"Her Imperial Majesty will now address the court." A man announced, bowing and allowing the woman in the gaudy blue dress to step forth, a gold sunburst shield of some sort sprouting out of her back like wings. She began to make a speech, which was your standard speech about the horrible goings on in the world as of late. Oh, so  _now_  we're addressing this?

A woman in a mask strode toward the Empress in angry strides and her speech was interrupted when Lavellan yelled, "Grand Duchess, stand down!"

Inquisition soldiers surrounded the suspicious woman, only to get cut down with swift ease. The Duchess was obviously well trained. Bodies fell to the floor in quick succession, swords clanging as they skittered across the tiles. The woman pointed dramatically.

"Now!" Her voice rang throughout the hall, followed by some gasps as everything erupted in a sudden flurry of movement.

I heard something about Corypheus, but I was distracted by the uproar of sound that filtered through my ears just then.

There was screaming, for one. My eyes were darting around the room frantically, seeing some of the Inquisition scouts getting killed left and right. I hadn't noticed until it happened that one of the enemies were behind me. I gasped when I felt someone grab me and begin to pull me toward a balcony, hand clamped over my mouth.

"So, how about that tea?" A woman's voice floated through my left ear in a seductive tone, followed by a dark chuckle. I recognized it as the nosey woman from earlier.

Fuck this shit.

I jabbed the woman in the stomach with the blunt end of the metal fan I carried with me all night. The woman grunted, but soon cried out as I pushed the button and sent the razor sharp edges into her soft torso. Whatever light armor she had on underneath the dress was completely shredded as it bypassed and went into her. I knew this, because when I was released I saw her starting to bleed. Her dress starting to stain with her life force as she stared down at it in shock, obviously not having expected me to be armed. She'd likely scoped me out to make sure.

Thankfully the fan had been so inconspicuous, even a spy couldn't spot it.

The woman didn't have enough time to recover, because I swung my arm and aimed for her neck. It was a clean cut, sending the coppery substance into an almost beautiful arc as it flew to the side and hit someone in the face. There was more screaming and the woman that had gotten the fluid on her face fainted.

There was blood. Lots of blood. But that wasn't on my mind, only the thought that I wanted to live. I didn't want to get taken and killed. Or whatever the hell they wanted to do to me. My heart thudded relentlessly in my chest as adrenaline shot through my body. My brown eyes darted around frantically, looking for more danger.

Some of the nearby nobles screamed and formed a wide berth around me as I flipped around cautiously. I hadn't even noticed the red substance that now stained the bottom of my dress and pooled on the floor beneath my feet.

"Get the girl!" I recognized the voice as another one of the people from the small group that had been following me around and asking me questions. I let out an irritated groan. I knew it! I fucking called it. No one tried to 'befriend' so quickly without ulterior motives, you see? Were  _ **all**_  of them Venatori agents waiting for a time to strike?

The thought sent something in my chest ablaze as fury took hold.

"I'm so fucking sick of this shit!" I blurted rather loudly, hearing my voice echo above some of the yells and sounds of people squabbling about what was going on.

Two men were making their way toward me and I raised my fan in their direction, only to see them get engulfed in flames. Smoke billowed into the air and I smelled burnt leather almost instantly, one of them clawing at his face to try and get his hood off. They started to scream and I bolted forward without a word, kicking one of them off of the ledge and onto the ballroom floor.

I turned to look at the last man, only to see that there wasn't just one man – but three.  _Three._ What? They're like insects! You kill one, two more appear!

I let out another audible groan as I repositioned myself in a defensive stance, getting ready to dodge until help arrived. Though I knew how unlikely it would be for me to come out of this unscathed, since I was in this damn dress.

Metallic glints appeared in my peripheral, flying passed my head and toward the men in front of me. I heard the wet noises it made as the throwing knives were embedded into their skulls.

The other man let out an enraged yell, lunging forward to try and tackle me. The pommel of his sword had been aimed at my stomach but I'd been able to strafe to the side and duck out of the way. He was turning to come at me again when it almost appeared as if his neck exploded, blood spewing forth in a small spray.

No, seriously. Was that what it looked like when I stabbed the Venatori man all those months ago? My vision blurred and I could feel the sick feeling roiling in my stomach at the sight as the man fell into a heap onto the ground.

Leliana had been the one to do it and she turned to look at me casually, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. And just like that, another rogue appeared right beside her with a few throwing knives positioned between his fingers. Cole.

At least Cole seemed to have more emotion than the Spymaster as she slowly approached me, her stride graceful as she held herself high.

It didn't go unnoticed by me that Dorian, amongst the crowd of faces behind the Spymaster, gave me a thumbs up and went on with his business. Clever man. Apparently he had known, too. That would also explain the fire.

"I suspected as much."

"You knew?! What is it with people and knowing more about my imminent demise than myself?" I grumbled in response to Leliana's statement.

"You would have given yourself away." She stated matter-of-factly, her expression giving nothing away. "If it is any consolation, I didn't even inform the Inquisitor."

The Spymaster looked me over before nodding and turning to look out at the, now quiet, Ballroom. The battle was swift and some people began to flock near the doors to have a look at the Inquisitor as she fought the Duchess in the back courtyard. Cullen was ordering his men to keep the stupid nobles from going out there and possibly getting themselves killed.

"You should get that looked at." I heard Leliana speak before she strode off, my eyes blinked confusedly as I focused on where she'd pointed before she left. My arm, yet again, had a rather large cut in it just above the elbow. My hand came up and I rubbed my jaw, which felt kind of tender, from where I'd had a hand clamped over just moments ago.

I turned, seeing Cole standing right next to me with a worried look in his eyes.

"We kind of turned them into … minced meat. I'm fine, see?" I tried not to focus on any of the dead bodies laying nearby, blood pooling around on the ground not far away. Especially the rather charred looking man laying by the railing overlooking the dance floor, his head turned to the side to reveal his face behind a cracked mask. I looked away, feeling a wave of nausea burst forth.

The next thing I knew, I was being lead out onto a balcony. The crisp cool air that hit my lungs was like a remedy for it, breathing slowing down and heart rate calming. At this rate, I'd have grey hairs by the time the night was over.

I winced when I felt something dab at my wound gently, arm stinging as Cole cleaned it off before beginning to tie what was left of the fabric around it. It looked like it'd once been a handkerchief of some sort, which was now torn and being used as such.

"I'm sorry." His voice sounded almost flat as I stared down at my bandaged wound.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. Obviously you were busy." I sighed and his hands fell to his sides, a frown marring his features. "You can't protect me from everything. I …"

My eyes wandered as I focused on anything but his guilt stricken face. Seeing him like that made me feel guilty, too. For not being able to fully defend myself, yet. It seemed like I was merely baggage that was being dragged around and despite my efforts, I was still dead weight.

"You're not." I felt Cole's hand brush the side of my face as he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, "Fumbling, inexperienced and new … but not dead weight. You're trying and you  _will_  get better."

"I – yes … yes I will." Was my quiet response as he lowered his hand and I shifted, feeling uncomfortable in the dress. Cole looked just as, if not more, uncomfortable in his ensemble than I did. His hands constantly fidgeted and they finally came up to rest on his wooden pendent, movements slowly calming. We sat there for what seemed to be minutes, before the sounds of people walking around and chatting started up again.

The moon that night seemed to cast an almost ethereal glow on him, making his white-blond hair appear almost silver. It was quite a beautiful sight. I was silently grateful that it was a clear night out which allowed such a rare opportunity. The balcony we were on was unoccupied, everyone else being in the Ballroom celebrating or gossiping about the nights events.

"Would you li-like … to..." Cole's voice faded out and I couldn't hear what he'd asked. I blinked, staring up at his flustered face in confusion. It wasn't like the music inside of the Ballroom was all that loud, being only a dull hum at that point. We completely ignored the speeches that had been made, preferring to stay alone out here instead. I'd hear about the results later, anyway.

"What?" I questioned and waited for him to repeat himself. If possible at all, he seemed to almost get more nervous by the second.

"W-Would –" His hands clasped onto his pendant and he made eye contact with me, fierce blue met confused brown. "Would youliketodance?"

"I – Ah. Err..." It took awhile for my brain to process the words, since they'd been said so quickly, before realization dawned on my face. Oooh. He wanted to dance?  _With me?_  I think I'd mentioned before how it hadn't interested me, but with the way his eyes were alight with hope and his face expressing just how flustered he was. I could practically feel my heart melt at the sight before me. "Yes.."

He was the exception for many things, it seemed.

I squeaked when I felt his hands clasp around mine, pulling me against him. He smiled so widely that I could see his teeth, the simple action lighting up his face completely. It reached his eyes and – oh. My stomach fluttered and I averted my gaze. It was almost painful, just how handsome he looked with such a simple action.

"I don't know how to...  _dance_." I muttered disdainfully, feeling regret at the fact that I'd outright denied Vivienne and Lavellan's lessons.

"I'll show you!" Cole chirped, fingers intertwining with mine. We fumbled around a little – well  _ **I**_  fumbled around and stepped on his toes more times than I could count. Every time, I felt the blush on my face getting redder and redder. But it didn't deter him at all as he spoke in a low soothing tone, explaining the right steps and what to do. I couldn't help but feel almost inadequate and self-conscious at how bad I was doing.

It was not something I'd imagined myself ever doing, that was for sure. But there I was, dancing out on the balcony under the moon. Would  _that_  be considered romantic? Perhaps, but that wasn't on my mind. Not at all. Though I did wonder ….

"How … I mean. Where did you learn how to dance?" I finally gathered the courage to voice my question, face still burning in embarrassment. Either he pretended not to notice or was preoccupied.

"Dorian showed me." He answered and I pulled away slightly to get a look at his face. I knew the Tevinter had been up to something!

"That damn meddling mage..."

"It's harder, trying to listen to my feet and you at the same time. Tap tap, step to the beat … remember not to step on her feet. But –" He paused and I couldn't help the smile that slipped it's way on my face. He was so cute. Cole's voice was filled with wonder, "–You're really pretty when you smile."

Ah, now it was my turn to appear bashful. I leaned forward and my face practically buried itself into his chest, feeling it rumble in response. Was it funny?

That's when I noticed how we swayed and stepped, his arms finally slipped around me casually to keep me nearby. We weren't even dancing to the beat of the song playing in the Ballroom. Cole began to hum quietly, his head resting on the crown of my head. It was the same tune I often heard him hum whenever I couldn't sleep or when he wanted to calm me down.

And it worked, my shoulders loosening as I nuzzled against him affectionately.

"What is that song you're always humming?" I murmured quietly, movement slowing to a stop. That wasn't all that stopped, however. The humming had died down and I was almost disappointed.

"You."

"W-what?" I was confused at his short answer, hoping he'd at least elaborate.

"You sing a song that my heart calls out to." Cole continued, "It's … beautiful."

"My song?"

"In here." We broke apart briefly and he placed his hands on the middle of my chest, his eyes never leaving mine. I felt my heart squeeze and pick up it's pace, causing his smile to widen. I idly wondered if smiling that much hurt his cheeks.

My hand came up to cup his cheek, fingertips grazing his hair just beneath his earlobe. We'd done this many times already, but I still couldn't control the way my breathing hitched as he leaned closer. Or the way my stomach rolled and my nerves seemed to make me tremble. I felt him place his hand over mine, the other trailing slowly up from my chest into my wavy hair and pulling me closer.

It was times like this that I'd feel it echoing inside of me, those three words that I was always much too afraid to say. I'd never said it to anyone before, only to family back when I was younger. Never – and it frightened me to no end. Though I'm certain he knew, seeing or feeling the 'ripples' as he called them.

When our lips met, I was greeted with the familiar hair-raising sensation – like static? No, maybe electricity.  _That_  still hadn't gone away, even though I'd heard about how it would over time. It didn't matter.

It was something that I had a hard time saying, but could at least convey like this. Allowing him to feel and hear from within. It was surprising that I even allowed someone to get this close to me, nonetheless someone with an ability like Cole's. I may as well have allowed him into my soul. I found that I didn't mind.

"I... I love you" When we parted, it had slipped out of my mouth before I could think twice. Though I meant every word. My eyes flicked down to the stone beneath us, shifting on my feet.

I meant it so much it almost physically hurt. But saying it had made me feel better. How was that possible? I felt him freeze, movements completely stopping and my stomach rolled. Fear of rejection surfaced. Even though, subconsciously, I knew how ridiculous that was. But it was still there; the digging, ripping fear of abandonment. Of driving him away. Watching him leave would be …

Those thoughts dissolved when he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into what could only be described as a 'bear hug'. I was squeezed so tightly I squeaked like a squeaky toy, cheek resting on his shoulder.

"I l-love you, too." Cole's voice shook slightly from elation and my heart lifted, fingers gripping the back of his suit as if he'd disappear any second. He made a noise in the back of his throat, "I'd never leave you. I'd never hurt you. Don't worry, Lyn."

"I know, I'm sorry."

* * *

Besides what had happened at the end of that evening out on the balcony, the Ball had been complete and utter shit. Many of the nobles would probably disagree with that statement, but who was I to judge? Hell, Dorian would probably comment about it reminding him of home. It made me curious about Tevinter. My opinion was mine.

On the upside, I did end up being able to gather some information that I could write up in a report for Leliana. I'd decided to at least try to be productive instead of just standing around and trying to 'mingle' like they'd told me to. So, most of my time spent had been wandering around idly listening to conversation. Last names stuck in my mind, followed by some scandalous things I'd overheard during my trek through the room. Did you know one man was trying to get married to his dog? Weirdos, I say.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem that I would have time that night to write my report that night. Not that I minded. Not at all.


	35. Together *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is likely the only really nsfw scene I'll do for this story. That depends on the reactions I get, really. I may or may not do another, much shorter, one later on before I end the story. Never know. Let me know how you feel about that.
> 
> So just skip to the next chapter if you do not wish to see it. You won't miss much... maybe.
> 
> 'Tis a bit wordy when it gets to third person, since it is mostly from Cole's perspective. I apologize for that.

After the damn Ball was done and over with, the Inquisitor was offered to spend the night in one of the guest wings with her companions for saving the Empress. Lavellan, of course, did not decline and humbly offered her thanks for the opportunity. Which prompted them to send word to Varric and Iron Bull, who happily appeared at the chance to sleep in the gaudy palace. Which brought me to my current predicament. There was a line of rooms down one hallway, huge windows on the other side that overlooked a rather lush garden.

A few of the servants in the palace had insisted they help me out of my dress, which I flatly refused. I could get out of it just fine, thank you very much.

Ah, yes. Predicament.

I was standing alone in my room currently clawing at the back of my dress trying to untie the bastard. I blame my pride for not allowing any help from them. I just couldn't accept it, now could I?

Growling in frustration, I wondered if I should just cut the thing off with my knife. But then, God only knows how much I'd end up owing Vivienne. If there was one thing I was sure about, it was the fact that I did not want to ever be indebted to that woman. I still did not like her. She was, after all, the one in charge of helping me pick out from the assortment of dresses she had.

It was ugly.

"That's not true, I think it looks pretty." I heard Cole say from the other side of the room, causing me to squeak in alarm. How long had he been there?! The bastard was probably watching me fumble around like an idiot to try and get the thing off. "I was waiting for you."

Yeah, he was there the whole time.

"Mother fucker." I cursed, flailing my arms and giving up. I looked down at my feet and was silently thankful it was black and red, at least. Because the blood did not show up that easily. I stalked over to my bag by the bed, almost stumbling over my boots in the process, which held my belongings. I grabbed my pocket knife and flipped it open.

I stared down at the dress with an evil glint in my brown eyes, but before I could tear into it I saw Cole's hand wrap around mine in my peripheral vision. He gently grabbed the knife out of my hand, body pressed up against my back, and it clattered to the floor.

"It's pretty because it brings out the colors in your hair. Hair hues of red and brown, shimmering in the light like the autumn leaves." He spoke right in my ear, causing my hairs to rise. Shit. Does he have any clue – no. I'm sure he does. I shook like a skittish horse at the small amount of contact we had, goosebumps rising. "You are the color of nature."

Cole was getting better at expressing himself little by little, it seemed. Though he'd always been good with words, just had a hard time determining  _what_  to say and  _when_. I felt his deft hands ghost across my bare upper back and push my wavy hair aside so that he could access the back of my dress. My body froze involuntarily as he worked at getting it untied.

Just like last time, I felt my throat close up and I couldn't seem to get any words to come out. I hated when that happened! I felt irritation bubble around but was promptly tapped down as I was turned around. I blinked and looked up, the small amount of candlelight that was offered was enough to illuminate most of the decorative bedroom that we'd been offered for the night. It also seemed to accentuate Cole's features as he looked down at me with a tender look in his blue eyes. Despite said eyes being hidden by a mass of shaggy hair, I could see nonetheless.

He took a sharp intake of breath, looking as if he'd steeled himself to do something. I didn't even get a chance to speak before his mouth slowly descended on mine, gently. I sighed, leaning into the kiss with a small smile. Just like every other time, I felt the warmth curl around in my chest. I loved him, I really did. Cole chuckled lightly as we parted, though barely, his fingers resting on one of my cheeks.

"I love you, too." He replied, causing an overjoyed smile to spread across my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck to draw him closer.

I don't think he quite knew how happy those words made me feel right then. To love and be loved – it was probably the best feeling in the world. I never knew. I really was missing out all these years. It took being tossed into another world for me to realize that, but it was all worth it.

_He was worth it._

"I-I want to touch you. To see you. B-But I … don't know." Cole buried his face in the crook of my neck and I shivered, threading my fingers through his white-blonde hair. "What if I do it wrong?"

"Then I guess we'll have to just get up and try again." I shrugged, smile turning into a lopsided smirk.

I was nervous. Holy fucking hell was I nervous. My hands and legs were shaking as our warmth from our bodies intermingled, making me dizzy. I'd never given myself to anyone like I was about to do for him. Doing this was intimate, an ultimate show of devotion and affection that I'd never thought I'd harbor for anyone. Ever.

"Yes.." He breathed almost shakily, probably just as nervous as I.

"Only if you want this, Cole." I murmured as I turned my head and let my lips graze the side of his jaw. He hummed in response and pulled me closer, the front of my body pressed up against his. He turned and pushed his mouth against mine, more fervently than before. It surprised me a little when I felt his tongue dart out and lick my bottom lip. Getting bold, are we? I responded in kind, hearing him let out a low noise from the back of his throat as he grasped at the ties on the back of my dress.

Nope. I wasn't even wearing a bra underneath this dress. He was going first. I pulled away, only slightly, and began to grab at the belt and sash on his white and gold uniform. Cole seemed to understand, because I felt his hands move to help me as he began to unbutton his top. I heard the sash and belt fall to the ground with a soft  _'thud!'_.

When we broke apart I let my brown gaze travel down, fingers trailing up against his smooth skin to gently push his uniform off of his shoulders. I watched with rapt attention as he seemed to shiver underneath my touches and I allowed myself to smile lightly. I wasn't the only one.

Cole stood still, letting me examine his bare torso. He wasn't rail thin, like most would think he would be and he wasn't exactly muscular either. It was pretty obvious that he was built for stealth and speed. There were a few scars that puckered up and my finger pressed onto one that was between his left shoulder and collarbone. I was instantly reminded of the time he was fighting off those Ben-Hassrath and got hurt to protect me. So, I leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on it.

"It's okay." He spoke softly, pulling me against him. I felt his fingers brush against my back and my dress came loose. My breathing hitched and it seemed like everything got colder, the fabric pooling at my ankles. Well, there's probably no going back now because I was standing there in only my panties. "You are mine to protect."

I was his to protect, just as he was mine. I would do anything to keep him safe, even at the cost of my own life. He obviously felt the same way. We'd proven to one another exactly how far we'd go to keep the other safe. Wasn't that what love was? He made me understand the side of humanity I'd refused to see for so long. I only hoped I could return the favor.

Cole stepped back to examine me and I felt my face flush as I turned my head away, an unbelievable amount of shyness suddenly coming over me. Which was odd, since I never felt shy about my body. It was just a body. Me. This … this was different, though.

I was jerked out of my thoughts when his warm fingers ghosted over the scar on my left hip. The one I'd gotten when I pushed him out of the way, then trailed down to my outer thigh. I smiled nervously, looking back over to him. His face expressed the fascination at the sight before him, causing my nerves to settle slightly.

"Yours. All yours." I replied quietly, noticing that his blue eyes seemed to have darkened and his breathing was faster than normal. I was likely the same, but nothing else seemed to matter then. Just him. That's all I could see. Cole's mouth descended on mine, kissing me almost hungrily. I felt heat spread throughout my body in response, knees feeling weak.

**Third Person**

Somehow or another, they'd ended up on the plush mattress just behind her. Cole peered at her through his messy hair and silently appraised her appearance as she lay in the soft sheets on the bed. He hovered above Lyn and she stared lovingly up at him, brown eyes sparkling in the candlelight. The small flush on her lightly freckled cheeks or the way her song would reach out for him, a sweet ache in her chest.

He could feel it, too. It was wonderful, this mutual affection between one another. A bond so strong it felt so … real. Substantial, almost tangible. He would help her, just as she would help him. She wanted him, he wanted her. Was  _this_  what love was? To want to be together in every way possible? To share one another in the most intimate of ways? Love was not easily understood.

It just was.

Fingers clasped in the sheets, breath caught sighs as their lips melded together – tiny tingles of electricity sparking between them. She presented her heart to him; exposed, raw and hopeful. She offered herself to him. Everything. The thought sent a thrill through his body. She was  _his_. Cole gently cupped the bottom of one of her ample breasts, eliciting a small sound from the back of her throat – heartbeat quickening.

Lyn approved, because he felt her unconsciously arch herself into his palm. Cole knew to be careful, delicate and slow, as he allowed his thumb to brush along the hardened nub at the peak of her mound. She gasped and he pulled away to look at her, her brown eyes were unfocused as she stared up at him. He'd never seen that expression on her face before … and he found he kind of liked it.

"C-Cole..." The way she said his name just then caused him to twitch in response as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His breathing hitched when he realized that he didn't know how to continue. He's seen it happen many times, but that was between two others. This was them. Him. What if he did it wrong? Seeing it happen was different than actually doing it.

"P-Please. I-I..." Cole stuttered, pleading with her to help him. Help him continue. Help him relieve the amount of strain he seemed to feel just then. He needed- "What do I … we-"

"Listen to yourself. What do you want?" She murmured, soft lips pressed against the sensitive skin on his collarbone. Cole had to steady himself by taking a deep breath, but even that seemed to make him feel dizzy. All those wonderful sensations, he couldn't seem to think – only react. Lyn nipped at him gently and he shuddered in response, doing the same to her. He wanted many things; to taste her, feel her, to strengthen the bond that they had – to make her his.

"You." His tongue flicked out experimentally, tasting her as his teeth barely grazed against her lightly tanned skin. She mewled and rolled her hips against his, her warmth causing him to quiver. His pants seemingly tighter, strained. The pressure building in his lower abdomen increased, if at all possible.

Cole ground against her, almost frantically, trying to relieve the ache that seemed to build. It only seemed to make it even worse and didn't seem to help at all. Though the noise she elicited almost sounded something akin to a purr as she ran her hands across the hard planes of his torso. She  _liked_  it.

She  _wanted_  him to touch her, he could hear it. No – she  _needed_  it. Cole began to explore her soft body, taking note of what she wanted, whispers in her mind, and which places seemed to get the most reaction. Eventually his hand made it's way lower and lower, his lips pressed against her jaw.

When his nimble fingers caressed her most intimate area, just over her panties, he heard her whimper into his ear. He applied pressure and began to probe the area gently, moisture seeping through the thin material.

"You're wet." Cole's voice sounded husky and she countered by pushing herself into his hand. "Wet, wanting and needing me here.  _In here_."

Shit. She couldn't take this anymore. It was almost too much. They hadn't even gotten to the main part yet and she felt like she was going to-

"Take it o- _off._ " The words came out of her mouth quietly, in an almost helpless sounding growl. Right. His pants.

He complied without much of a thought, seeing her do the same with her panties. Cole sighed in slight relief when he undid his trousers, freeing himself from the confining layers. He didn't notice the way her eyes seemed to widen at the sight, throat constricting as she swallowed nervously. It didn't take long until they were both bare – nothing to clutter, cover, remain between them.

Lyn pointed to the bed in a silent command and he obeyed without much of a thought. She crawled forth and straddled him shakily and offered a timid smile, her mouth coming down to nibble on his lower lip. This only served to tease and frustrate Cole even more, causing him to make an impatient noise. He forced himself into a seated position and scooted back so that he was leaning on the headboard.

"Please..." He pleaded, blue eyes alight with desire, seeing her own light up mischievously.

"As you wish." Was her cheeky reply, albeit a bit shaky, as she readjusted herself – putting him against her heat, her core. She peered up at him through her messy waves for permission. Lyn lowered herself slightly, causing him to prod against her desperately. "Are you s-sure?"

Cole whimpered and nodded frantically – that's all the permission she needed. No going back now. When he entered her, his head rolled back and he let out a drawn out groan. His hands flew to her hips as he clasped onto her shakily. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

She almost seemed to be fighting to breathe, heat spreading throughout her body. With a few rolls of her hips, she was maybe about half way before she froze and let out a strangled gasp. It felt like it was too much.

"Loud, so b-bright. I – I you're singing for me I can …  _feel it_." Cole choked out the last two words rather hoarsely, pushing himself in the rest of the way rather roughly. When they united, it was like everything felt so much more real. It was almost  _too much_ , yet not enough at the same time as they sat there almost frozen for a few beats. Lyn let out a shuddering moan and she seemed to almost fight with herself at that point.

She was fighting to hold back. Self control. He could feel her turmoil, she was much louder now. More intense, profound almost too vivid for him as she began to move from her place on top of him – achingly slow at first. The feeling only seemed to intensify when she crushed their lips together with urgency. Her tongue slid along his bottom lip, begging for entrance and –

So much. Too much.

Too hot.

"I-" Cole's eyes widened when everything seemed to fall away all at once, the world practically screaming at him as he was overcome with the most intense feeling he'd ever felt. He didn't even know he'd cried out at all as his head rolled back and hit the headboard. It was like pure ecstasy, there was no other way to explain it.

 _'Thud!'_ Lyn let out a frustrated sounding whine, realizing that he'd already hit his climax.

"A-Are you alright?" She breathed and he grasped onto her harder to stop her movements, still shaking from the aftershocks of pleasure that seemed to shoot through his body. He stared up at her with half lidded eyes, unfocused as he breathed heavily. Lyn's small hand gently caressed his flushed face, a slight smile appearing on her own. It didn't seem to bother her that much once she saw Cole's expression just then.

His vision focused up at her in wide eyed wonder, realizing now why people did this so often. He did it so that they could be closer together, become one. But there was … more. So much more. When she pulled herself off of him, he shuddered and twitched watching as she sat beside him.

None of the frustration Lyn was feeling showed up on her face, almost like she was trying to mask it from him.  _It was okay_ , she tried to relay. He heard, but it didn't mean he agreed. Just when Cole thought his heartbeat was finally starting to calm down, the hand she'd previously had between her legs was pulled up as she splayed her fingers in front of her – a curious expression on her face. Their intermixed fluids shone in the candlelight and she sniffed before shifting her brown gaze toward him. If one could call her eyes brown, that is. They were so dark they were almost black.

The thought that she hadn't been able to experience what he just did made him feel uneasy. It was almost like it'd been all for him and that just wouldn't do. He'd have to get up and try again. And that's exactly what he intended to do, the rogue shuffled around and gently pushed her back onto the bed. Lyn gave him a questioning look, but complied without much of a thought. He was hovering above her with his hands placed on each side of her body. They weren't done yet. She wasn't done yet.

Cole's fingers clasped the sheets beneath her, staring down at her – searching. Her body was still primed, ready, waiting for him to take her. Make her his.

His eyes darkened almost dangerously. He couldn't leave her like that, no. With fluid-like grace, he repositioned himself so that he was between her legs. To Lyn's utmost surprise, she could feel his arousal as it was pressed against her inner thigh.

"There's  _more_. Heat flowing, shuddering,  _aching_. I'm sorry." His gaze met hers, eyes dilated as a small frown marred his features. But not before it seemed to lighten up, a bright smile forming on his face, as if he realized something. "I can still help you."

Help her? Lyn grinned up at him and felt her face flush even more when he began to move along her thigh slowly. She gasped and let out small whimpers when he started to run his hands all over the front of her body, marveling at the way she reacted to his touches. Almost like he couldn't believe the amount of control he had over her.

"No. No no, this won't do. We can't stop, don't want to. Not yet." He was exploring as he stared intently at her facial expression. "You still  _need_  me."

He certainly had some insane stamina if he was already up and ready to do it again so soon. But then, it was to be expected since he wasn't completely human. Human enough to feel and want things. Human enough to do  _this_. But he didn't even have to eat, if he didn't want to. Cole was an expert on the battlefield and didn't tire as easily as a normal man, so it made sense...

"You like it when I do this." He ran his finger over her nipple and he leaned forward, Lyn shuddered delightfully. The spirit-turned-human was searching around in her head as his tongue darted out and ran across it, taking cues from her before she even had a chance to think them. He'd seen people do this before, so it wasn't entirely new. He left wet trails as he slowly moved up toward her collarbone. "And this." He nipped at the sensitive skin there, causing the woman underneath him to squirm around.

"Y-Yes." Was all Lyn could force out almost pathetically, begging him to just get it over with. Cole made a sound of approval as he grabbed her and pulled her closer. She parted her legs to allow him easier access as she turned her head to the side shyly, face flushed. "Please. J-Just …"

"Look at me, love. I want to see you." He murmured softly, fingers caressing her cheek to gently turn her head in his direction. Her eyes fluttered open and met his own, "I want you to see me."

"I see you." Her voice came out strained as he pushed against her entrance. Lyn buried her face into the crook of his neck and let out a muffled cry as he eased himself inside of her. Her hips moved on their own accord, as if by some unspoken  _need_.

Cole gasped when she bit down on the junction between his shoulder and neck. It hurt, but he liked it. Especially when she started to lick and suck on his pale skin. He could feel the desire seeping off of her, wanting more.  _Needing_  him. He complied and slowly moved at an awkward pace at first. Hesitant and a little unsure, not wanting to hurt her. It seemed a natural instinct that came with his human body as he began to listen to himself. He was listening to her, too.

Cole was using his gift in new and innovative ways, it seemed, as he would drive into her at just the right angle. He was rewarded with a torrent of gasps and moans that seemed to spill out of her mouth. He might have been, as well, but he couldn't seem to focus on so many things at once. So much happening, it felt like everything.

Still, he needed more.  _She_  needed more and made sure to voice that fact rather clearly.

She wasn't the only one that had to fight for control. Because now it was he, that was. There weren't words that could even begin to describe what Cole felt at that moment. He grasped onto her a little harder and picked up his pace, she let out a feral sounding growl and pushed her lips onto his. Lyn's nails dug into his pale chest possessively, leaving faint red marks in their wake. He whimpered but didn't slow down, if anything it seemed to encourage him. He  _loved_  it when she did that.

Why would that be? It didn't even register as pain, at that point, and just seemed to make everything so much better.

The fire inside of her spread, expanded until it was nearly consuming him. It was ablaze, crackling and yet he welcomed its warm embrace. Fire was destructive, passionate … yet mesmerizing at the same time – just like her.

Cole was unaware of what exactly was pouring out of his mouth at that point, but it seemed to stimulate Lyn further.

"Keep talking." Her ragged breathing became even more erratic as his pace quickened into shorter and sharper digs.

"Consuming, coming undone. I can feel it – I-I'm going to-." Cole's voice came out rushed, breathless. He looked up through his mess of hair, their eyes meeting, taking in the other's expression. He heard her cry out his name as she began to twitch and shudder around him, driving him over the edge with her almost immediately.

It was right then that everything seemed to burst forth with intensity, so bright and brilliant, even more so than last time. He might have cried out as well, but was unsure as he could only focus on how powerful their song was. It seemed to flare up in a torrent of energy. She was all around him, pulling him in – tight, writhing and curling as she took everything that he had into her.

They both sat there, in a daze, panting heavily as they stared into each others eyes. He couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from her, not when she was looking at him like  _that_. The look on her face was that of pure adoration. Love. Cole was sure his expression mirrored her own, at that point. He leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. He'd never felt anything like that before in his life.

Like two flames uniting and blending into one. Smoldering hot. It was almost intoxicating and as he slowly tumbled off onto the soft sheets beside her. His chest heaved and his muscles felt strained, but it felt good. Content. Satisfied. He almost felt like he wanted to do it again. No. He  _did_. Cole already missed her warmth.

"I've n-never …" She stuttered and paused, staring over at him in wonder. Cole turned to look at her, his white-blonde hair a complete mess as it stood on end and some of it stuck to the side of his face. He tilted his head and focused on her.

"Felt it. Body, mind and soul set ablaze – burning brightly. For him. For  _us_."

"Yeah." Was Lyn's simple reply and he felt her turn over and curl up next to him, her hand resting on his chest. "That."

He wanted to move and pull her against him, but his body didn't seem to want to listen at the moment as he lay there staring at the ceiling. After that, it almost seemed like they'd gotten closer. Their relationship, their bond with one another, seemingly stronger than before. Her song and his had briefly combined, resulting in the most intimate of acts.

She never thought she'd feel so much happiness as she did right then. It seemed Lyn thought that a lot when it came to Cole. He made her see things she had not before. She let out a sigh and curled up closer, feeling content. Her chest warm with the affection she felt for him.

"C-Can we do it again?" He questioned quietly as he stared up at the ceiling contemplatively.

Lyn's eyes snapped open. So … so  _soon?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I am to be completely honest, I never intended for this story to even have something like this in it. But, as some of you may know, sometimes fingers have a mind of their own and things just get written.
> 
> I almost omitted this scene because of the fact I've never written these before. I kid you not, before this story was written I've never so much as written the word 'kissed' in any of my stories. Romance – not my forte. This?
> 
> Yeeeaaaah... If you thought it was complete and utter trash (because I am complete and utter trash for writing this), I'll understand.


	36. Speculation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas, Lavellan and Lyn come up with some theories on the way back to Skyhold. Also shenanigans.

 

I woke up the next morning to the feel of feather light touches trailing up my bare hip, causing me to snort. My eyes slowly cracked open, although a bit painfully, the blinding sunlight causing me to close them again almost immediately. I scrunched my brows and curled up into a fetal position, feeling my muscles groan in response. "Hnng..."

Once I was coherent enough, I realized that the warm hand pressed against me was Cole's. Said rogue was seated right next to my curled form, the sunlight glittering through his white-blonde hair. I squinted and pushed myself into a seated position, body still tired from sleep.

I hadn't gotten much last night, anyway.

"Good … morning?" I asked groggily, seeing his gaze trail from the place his hand was up to my face – a guilty and hurt expression adorn his face.

"I didn't mean to … t-to h-hurt you." Cole's voice sounded strained, almost as if the thought itself was the worst thing in the world. That's when I realized our state of undress and couldn't help the blush that spread across my face just then.

 _Then_  I noticed the slight bruising on my hips and 'love bites' on my chest and collarbone. Oh, wonderful. I wasn't the only one that was marked up, however.

"It's okay."

" _Okay?_ " He asked, looking at me like I'd lost my mind. "Thoughts foggy. Desire clouding, consuming, pulling me under. I-I …  _promised_  I wouldn't!"

He was starting to sound almost frantic there for a second and I reached forward and gripped the hair on the back of his head, pressing my forehead against his.

"Shhhh. A little pain isn't going to kill me. What happened was … was –" My eyes opened and our gazes locked. We were so close I could make out little white flecks in his blue irises, "Probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. I regret nothing."  _Please don't regret me._

His hands, which had previously been on my slightly bruised hips, slowly moved up and his fingers began tracing the small red marks along my collarbone. I, in turn, did the same thing to him with a small smile on my face.

"I don't." Cole finally replied, eyes still focused on the small marks. "Regret you, I mean."

"If it bothers you so much. Next time we'll just have to be more careful." I offered with a small smile, face getting warmer. "Besides this … this is normal."

I think.

"Yes."

"We're probably going to be heading out, soon." I sighed and rubbed my eyes sleepily, pulling away from him. Slowly, I eased myself off of the bed and my feet connected with the chilly tile floor. I was never a morning person, so it kind of came as a surprise that my mood was unusually high right then. Huh.

As we were getting dressed, I piled my clothing on the bed that I was going to wear and buckled my pack shut. My toes wriggled on the cold smooth tiles as I stood up. When I turned around, however, I was a wee bit distracted. Distracted being a loose term? I silently appraised Cole's rear end, which was nice by the way, only to have my view obstructed by red … silk boxers? The rogue continued to dress with his back turned to me, completely oblivious to my oogling.

Dear God.

I scrunched my eyebrows in concentration, remembering a time when Iron Bull had been teasing Dorian about his 'silky underthings' being left in his room. Which meant-

That train of thought derailed when I noticed Cole staring at me with a small smile (or was that a smirk?) on his face. Okay, maybe not as oblivious as I thought. My face burned under his attention. Cursing underneath my breath, I averted my eyes immediately and began to dress myself.

Shy? Why are you shy, Lyn? Pull yourself together!

I needed a nice wall to throw my head through. Again.

My mental berating was interrupted when I heard loud rapping on the door, followed by a distinctly familiar deep voice.

"Hate to ruin the fun and all, but we're gonna head out soon!"

I threw the door open, coming face to face – er – face to  _chest_  with Iron Bull. The Qunari was grinning down at me and waved, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the entrance.

"Kinda getting tired of the weird glances I'm getting from the servant ladies. Dorian's about to have a fit-" He was interrupted by a loud and deep bark at his feet, as if Riley needed to get his two-cents into the conversation. Oh. I'd completely forgotten-

Now I felt like an ass.

To be fair, I was kind of preoccupied last night. Though I wondered where the Mabari slept last night.

"Good morning, The Iron Bull." Cole greeted from behind me, sounding a  _wee_  bit happier than usual. Oh, why don't you announce it to him why don't you? Ignoring the way Bull's grin widened in response, I hefted my bag over my shoulder and stalked off without looking back.

* * *

We were on our way back to Skyhold the next day and everyone seemed oddly quiet as we mounted our horses and slowly ambled down the road. I, for the most part, felt incredibly sore from my place atop Skittles. But I didn't comment on it. I felt good, for how bad I felt. If that even made any sense?

Cole seemed to almost glow as he looked around at the slowly passing scenery, a small smile on his usually passive face. His scarf had been pulled up unusually high, courtesy of me, instead of hanging loosely like it usually did. We both had quite a few marks from our romp in the sheets, if you know what I mean. Didn't really care for the thought of anyone making any comments and trying to embarrass me.

Since that happened a lot. Was it funny to get a reaction out of me? Perhaps I looked comical when embarrassed, I wouldn't know. I was certain once or twice they'd even tried it on Cole, only to be the ones getting embarrassed or freaked out in the end. He had that effect on people. Loved it.

"Sooooo.  _Four_  times?" Inquisitor Lavellan commented with a rather cheesy smile on her face, the blush on her cheeks made her white vallaslin stand out even more. Sera remained quiet, light bags underneath her eyes from lack of sleep as she glared ahead at the road. I looked over at the two with a rather mortified expression on my face. Mortified wouldn't even  _begin_  to explain what seeped into me at that moment, the blood slowly drained from my face.

Perhaps the marks weren't the only thing that made it obvious.

I wanted to dig a hole and die.

"You weren't exactly  _quiet_ , Screech." Varric had bags underneath his eyes as well as the click-clack of the hooves seemed to fill the silence directly after his statement. He seemed alright with it, other than the fact that he'd heard his adopted son getting it on with the stablegirl. Aka me. My face began to turn colors. So that explained why Varric and Sera refused to look at me. That was …

"Ah, what I wouldn't give to have that kind of stamina." Dorian sighed almost dreamily, "To be young again."

"Looks like we've got a record to beat, mage-boy." Iron Bull sounded enthused, pumping his fist in the air with a big grin on his face. Mage in question whipped his pretty little head over toward the hulking warrior, mouth agape as he placed a hand on his own chest.

"I think not!" He sounded appalled, a faint blush spreading across his face as he looked over at the burly Qunari.

Fuck.

"Her body sings musical notes whenever I touch her, playing her like a symphony – the strings in her heart." Cole felt the need to inform everyone, Solas seated atop his horse just beside him observing him silently. The elf, for the post part, seemed as passive as ever.

"That was decidedly less revealing than I thought it would be." Dorian mused quietly and the blonde spirit turned to look at him, blinking his blue eyes curiously. As if to say, 'He wants to know more?'

"It was-" Cole began, but was promptly cut off by simultaneous yells. They all must have realized.

" _ **No!**_ " A couple of people from the party spoke up, instantly silencing the spirit-turned-human. He stared at them curiously and my face just about roasted itself off of my body. If Corypheus didn't kill me, the embarrassment I was feeling at that moment surely would. They'd heard –

_No. Gods no._

"If we could return to the task at hand?" Cassandra motioned in the direction we were walking, face slightly pink from second-hand embarrassment.

Sometimes I hated life. I groaned inwardly, refusing to acknowledge any more comments after that. As far as I was concerned, no one was speaking. Nothing was going on. It was a beautiful, quiet trek back to Skyhold.

* * *

The fact that Lavellan was looking at me like that was starting to give me a rather uneasy feeling in my stomach. If the way Sera kept peeking over as if to urge her on didn't help the predicament.

"If you've got something to say, say it." I crossed my arms and kept a hard look in my eye, covering up the nervousness I was feeling at that moment.

"They know about your sister." Her head lowered a little as she told me, her hart was much taller than Skittles so she was positioned much higher than I as we continued down the path. I felt my face slowly begin to lose it's color as she kept speaking, in a cautious tone. "Cullen and Leliana left before the Ball ended last night to check up on Skyhold."

"W-wait, you're telling me there is a chance someone got into the walls while we were away?"

"If the way Leliana jumped into action so swiftly is anything to go by..." Ah, so that's where she went. I was wondering where those two disappeared off to. Not to mention the fact they weren't traveling with us at the current time. "It's a possibility."

My lips thinned and I focused on the road in front of us, my hands clenching the reins a little harder than needed. They knew about my sister, but that didn't mean that they were interested in her right?

Who was I kidding, if they knew about her they probably knew about the fact that she was a mage. Unless they'd gotten that information backwards? That would explain why they thought I was the mage and didn't seem to have prior interest in her before this. Unless they did.

My head hurt.

My hands came up and I rubbed my temples. That's when Iron Bull decided to butt into the conversation, his significantly larger horse trotting up on my right.

"Look. Whatever happens, just remember you've got us. We'd gladly crush some skulls on your behalf, right Boss?" The Qunari flexed with one of his arms and gave me a reassuring grin. Lavellan seemed to nod in response, a wary smile on her face. She must have been worried, too. She was, after all, the Inquisitor. The safety of the people in Skyhold fell on her shoulders. A heavy burden. It still didn't get rid of the dread that had settled in my stomach, however. Just the prospect that my sister …

I nodded anyway, trying to offer a smile of my own but it kind of came off as a grimace instead.

"Yeah. The only thing you'll be crushing is that poor horse, Tiny." Varric snarked and I looked at Bull's horse critically. It wasn't showing any signs of strain.

"That's painful, Varric. Are you calling me fat?" The Qunari stated in a mock 'sad' tone, his shoulders slumping minutely.

"Don't be too harsh on yourself, you're just a little husky."

"A little?" Dorian decided to join in, his voice unusually peppy. "Tell that to the countless chairs and stools that were slaughtered in his name."

"I know righ'? Like this one time-" Sera started enthusiastically, only to get cut off mid-rant.

"Hey hey! I'm a big guy, I get it. No need to go throwin' it in my face like that." Iron Bull almost seemed to pout, but then added in an almost suggestive tone. "Besides, the ladies like it."

Yeah, right before he rips them in half with his manly bits. I paled at the thought. No. That was a thought process I didn't even want to poke with a stick. My face scrunched in concentration. Nope. Nope. Nope.

"Hey now, everyone gets curious at some point. It's alright." Ah, he noticed. Sometimes I hated the fact that I was so easy to read. Still needed to work on that bit.

"Best watch your mouth, lest you start farting fire." I warned, flicking my gaze toward Dorian who had gone curiously quiet.

Only two things in this universe could get someone to fart fire. An angry mage and Taco Bell. And since there is no Taco Bell here...

"Is mage-boy jealous? I was just joking!"

"Jealous?" Dorian made a show of scoffing, "Hardly!"

"Don't get your breeches in a twist. Want me to … untwist them for ya?" Iron Bull growled and I urged Skittles away from the awkward conversation, shifting in the saddle uncomfortably.

"Bet that ain't the only thing you'll be doing, yeah?" Sera giggled, not at all effected by the way they were talking. To be honest, I should be used to it by now. It was how about half of the Inner Circle talked, anyway.

I stayed silent the rest of the day, listening to them bicker and laugh amongst each other. It was what people did to make themselves feel better, right? Bonding and strengthening their friendships. Cole and Solas were among the quiet ones as we either stared off silently or watched them. Just being near them and hearing them talking amiably amongst one another made me feel just a little less stressed. A little less scared of what was to come once we arrived at Skyhold.

Leliana and Cullen were very capable people and were best cut out with handling any situations. So if anything, they would make sure she or anyone else was safe. That was for sure.

 _But what if they got there too late?_ A niggling voice in the back of my head hissed and I squeezed my eyes shut. No no. No.

When we stopped for the day, it was getting close to the end of the evening. I sat on the soft grass near the fire with my sketchbook in my lap, Riley was out chasing something in the field nearby. I'd occasionally hear a bark as he hopped out of the tall grass and dove back down to disappear from sight again. It was a bit chilly, indicating that it was likely nearing Fall. I knew, however, that we would encounter snow once we started to get into the mountains.

Lavellan had traveled back from said field with an armful of wild flowers as she plopped down right next to Sera. Her rust colored waves bounced as she made contact with the soft ground, a big smile adorn her face. The loud elf simply stared at the Inquisitor with a dumbfounded expression on her face. Lavellan's previous mood had completely vanished after the two 'disappeared' for a good hour alone out in the woods.

Guess Sera wasn't joking when she said she knows how to get the 'tension gone'.

I focused down on my blank piece of paper, not knowing what to draw. Drawing always made me feel better, but nothing seemed to come to mind just then. The only thing I was able to imagine was the 'what ifs' that kept plaguing my mind that day about what we could encounter at Skyhold. Or, rather, who we  _won't_  encounter.

I heard a huff and I blinked, looking at my left to see Riley sitting next to me with his head tilted to the side. I was again struck with just how massive Mabari's were. He bowed his head, his snout nudging something on the ground next to me. My eyes squinted as I was greeted with the sight of a mangled looking nug laying in the grass.

Awww... he'd – ugh, where was it's head?

"I ah... t-thanks, boy." I spoke and he barked happily in response. Spittle sprayed me in the face and his breath smelled like death. Literally. I winced, "But it's half eaten."

He whined and lowered his head sadly.

"But I-I'm not saying I don't like it! J-Just …. errgh." He tilted his head curiously again, a small whine coming out.

"It's a present." Cole spoke, though he didn't sound too happy as he stared down at the half eaten animal next to me. Oh, right. He liked nugs, didn't he?

"Cole..."

"It's … okay. It just is. Some animals eat grass, some eat other animals. Without one there is no other. Everything is connected, intertwined." He crouched next to me and stared at the oversized dog with a passive expression on his face, "It still makes me sad, though."

Riley whined as he grabbed the nug and darted off, presumably to finish eating it.

I heard Lavellan let out a small giggle from her place beside the fire and I looked up from my blank sketchbook, seeing her placing a flower crown of some sort on top of Sera's head. I had to suppress a grin when the blonde elf let out a small sound of discontent before quickly conceding and allowing the thing to rest atop her choppy blonde hair.

There were many types of flowers braided together in reds, whites and purples from a nearby field. We were positioned into an outcropping of trees to keep ourselves relatively hidden from the road, but could still see if an enemy were to approach.

Lavellan was sitting cross legged in front of the usually loud elf, stray field flowers sitting in her lap as she started making another one. Sera simply sat casually in front of her, staring down at her lover's hands as they worked on her small project.

I couldn't hear anything they were saying, as they spoke in hushed tones from their side of the fire, but could see the faint blush that formed on Sera's face at whatever Lavellan had said to her.

Little did they know, I was sketching the scene as quickly as possible to avoid being noticed.

* * *

That night I found it harder to fall asleep, despite the fact that I was currently curled up right next to Cole. Thoughts kept buzzing through my mind, worries and fears. I didn't fault Lavellan for not telling me about it beforehand. I'd have likely just made things worse for myself during the Ball. I shivered, thinking about all of the rumors I'd likely started during my stay there. Not only that, but it would take weeks to get all of that blood off the tiles.

As quietly and carefully as possible, I slowly wriggled my way out of Cole's arms and crawled out of the tent. It surprised me that he didn't even stir, but continued anyway. Once outside, I was greeted with the sight of a small crackling campfire as Solas and Lavellan sat next to it talking in low voices.

"Hey." I took a seat in the grass not far from the two, "Hope I am not interrupting you guys."

"Not at all." Lavellan smiled politely and I nodded, focusing my gaze into the fire with a blank look on my face.

"This may be beneficial, we were just discussing possible theories as to why your sister has magical talent when people are supposedly not able to from your world. Do you have any thoughts on this?" Solas was the one to break the silence and I curled into myself even more, knees held to my chest.

"Yes." I'd had time to think about it and there were just so many possibilities that it made my head hurt. My pride kept me from approaching Solas about it, since he was probably the only one that would understand such things. That and the obvious fact that he had so much experience and knowledge of the Fade. Among other things.

"Would you care to elaborate?" He pushed and I nodded slowly, just knowing that this conversation was going to bring about another migraine.

"My theory … is that magic users are so few and far between that they are unheard of. It's  _possible_  in our world, which makes sense since Angel can wield magic, but not natural." I explained idly, hands picking at the grass beneath my palms. "It is not typically how it is used, however. I'd think the people in my world can only dream or see spirits. Nothing more."  _Usually_.

The way I saw it, the conventional use of the half-assed mage-people in my world was that they were able to dream and communicate with spirits. Either in their dreams or the 'ghosts' that are reportedly seen around the world. It wasn't just a cultural phenomenon. There were even TV shows focused on trying to catch ghosts or spirits on camera. People just didn't accept it as a truth or an actual fact of life. It wasn't real.

"How are there no reports of abominations? Something like that cannot just float passed everyone unseen. Unacknowledged." Lavellan reasoned and I shrugged. I never claimed to have a flawless theory. That was why they were theories, after all. "Abominations are known to kill whole villages."

But that was the thing. There  _were_  tales of abominations. But they weren't called abominations on Earth. They were called something else. I was certain, however, that in other cultures there were likely other stories. But I focused on the only stories I knew of.

"Windigo spirits are known to have been human at some point but have turned into some twisted half-man half-beast." I offered, remembering some of the tales that I'd been told as a child.

Even up into adulthood, the elders would visit our Tribal College and speak to us and tell us stories. It was a way of teaching, traditionally. So it would make sense that elders would come in as guest speakers.

The people that did know how to see and interact with spirits possibly came from families that already could. A hereditary thing. The elders from my Reservation always cautioned us, regardless. But the people from those families … what if they were taught to resist becoming possessed? Unless it was just an inherent ability developed over time. An adaptation, of sorts.

There were so many possibilities I could sit there all night and think about it. My mind was running in circles, gears turning, fingers picking at my chipped nails.

"Angel spoke of encountering things in her dreams. Encountering what, I was not made privy of the details. She was too afraid to speak of it." Solas explained, his eyes lowered as he looked down at the wood on his staff. "It is my belief that a malevolent spirit has already tried to possess her but she's able to resist because of her enormous amount of willpower. That was why I said she has great potential. I have no doubt that she will be able to master her magical ability with training."

"She sought you out after she had bad dreams." I guessed, remembering all of the times she came to crawl into my bed back on Earth because of nightmares. Angel used to have nightmares quite frequently and never thought much of it, simply thinking it was a byproduct of our horrible upbringing.

"In a way. She called to me in her dreams quite often and we contacted one another that way." The mage's eyes slowly trailed up to meet mine. I frowned, "It has been far too long since I've been able to communicate with another person via dream."

Like I said. Angel is getting too friendly with the enemy, here.

"Her father may have been one of such people gifted with the ability to interact with spirits and have those dreams." I reasoned. Angel was my half-sister. Technically. She had a different father than I, "It would certainly explain why no one in our family has shown any … strange abilities like she had."

Other than Kyle, that is. Angel and Kyle had the same father.

Again, I never once thought twice about these things. Can you blame me, though? Dreams were just dreams, to me. They meant nothing, really. But I ignored the fact that in my culture, the elders always told us to be cautious in our dreams. To listen to them and gather meaning behind them. They constantly reiterated how  _important_  they were, but their words went in one ear and out the other.

Guess it didn't help that I was pretty bitter, as a child. Especially since I was a half-breed. Not brown enough; not white enough. The children in my elementary used to mock and tease me, saying I'd take their land because I was too white. I then tried to hang out with the lighter skinned kids, to which they'd sneer and call me a savage.

Hate and racism is learned. It goes to show just what their parents were teaching them. At the time I only resented them for being that way, but as I grew older I began to understand. I also began to learn how to adapt and blend in on both 'sides'.

It was not easy.

"You spoke of a … Windigo spirit. Could you elaborate?" Solas' words caused me to blink, my brain slowly refocusing on the task at hand. Ah, yes … my  _lovely_  culture. But elaborate, I shall.

"I … well. The stories told in my culture vary from other cultures and such, but the original Windigo was known to be a man that kept taking children. So the people caught him, burned him alive and his body turned to soot and ash – in which he then transformed into mosquitoes." I explained idly, the crackling of the fire calming my nerves. At least it was only Solas and Lavellan. "He is known to come in many forms, the most popular one being half-man and half-beast. He pretends to be in distress, calling out for help in the woods. People that go to this voice … never return. They disappear. Most notably hunters. Or that's what is said, anyway."

"Do you know what happens to these people?" Lavellan asked. I'd almost forgotten she was there.

"He is said to be a cannibal, so I'm assuming probably eaten." I suppressed a shiver, remembering a time that Angel spoke of a dream she had with him in it. She'd explained him as having a human body, but with a deer head and legs. Some people saw him differently, but I'd always found that image to be relatively creepy. Windigo, in general, was just plain creepy.

"It sounds remarkably familiar." Solas mused, his hands folding in his lap as he seemed to contemplate something.

"Like a Hunger demon." Lavellan nodded, looking over at the elf seriously.

"Indeed. They are driven by the compulsion to consume everything they encounter and are known, once possessing a mortal body, to feed upon the living."

This was making my head hurt.

"If it is difficult for you to speak about, you don't have to." I heard Lavellan speak softly from my side, probably having picked up on my disturbed expression.

"I'm fine." I nodded, getting a skeptical look out of the wavy haired elf.

It always stirred the shit-pot in my memories when I thought about my culture. A culture that was dying, anyway. The people in our communities cared not about it anymore and preferred to party and throw their lives away. Maybe that was just how I saw things, though. Because my childhood had been a byproduct of such things. Drinking, partying and everything in-between.

There were good people that still did ceremonies and learned the language, sure. But a vast majority just … didn't care.

**Third Person**

He'd frequently accessed Angel and Lyn's dreams and caught glimpses of the marvelous feats of their world as a result. Solas found it intriguing and had dared a conversation with the testy woman in front of him. The elf straightened his posture but kept his body turned away from her, trying to appear less threatening.

He'd also noticed how easily the woman would get skittish and irritable around people she found to be a threat. He was one of such people. Her cautious behavior was not exclusive just to her, however. Angel was the same way. This made Solas wonder what had happened to the girls to make them so wary of people. Lyn appeared to cover it up with her anger and irritation. Angel, the exact opposite. The teen was very social and happy, though a bit shy at times – but if one looked closely she too, held people at a distance.

"You say it may be a possibility that people with magical talents of a sort could exist in your world, but do you have any evidence of this? Is there something you may have overlooked?" Solas asked, his hands fiddling with his staff that sat across his lap. The elf kept his head slightly bowed and his eyes down on the dark wood as he ran the pad thumb along it, "For instance, being able to perform feats of mental and physical endurance. Or anything out of the ordinary?"

If the woman felt uncomfortable with answering his questions, she would simply state so. Solas was never known for holding back his questions, even if they ended up making someone uncomfortable or hurting them.

The otherworlder seemed to contemplate it for a moment, her brows furrowing as one would when they were deep in thought. It reminded her of the monks she'd heard of back on Earth, being able to perform many things through meditation and all of the like. Even going as far as secluding themselves in their little temples and taking vows of silence. Though Lyn did not know much about it, at all. Not as much as she knew about her own culture, that is.

"There are people in my culture that are said to be able to control how and when they dream. Visions and all that shit. I never … really believed any of it, if I am to be perfectly honest." It sounded like she had a hard time admitting it, the regret clear on her features. "The Medicine Men were said to be able to even  _communicate_  with spirits. Either for council or during certain ceremonies."

"How does one communicate with a spirit, from your world?"

"Either through dreaming or, if they had the aptitude for it, simply seeing and speaking to them. They are said to be everywhere; in the trees, rocks and even the lakes. I've never seen it happen, but some people have their houses blessed by an elder or medicine man to keep spirits away. Children and babies are incredibly sensitive to seeing such things and are known to interact with them, regardless of if their family is able to." Lyn's voice, for the most part, sounded almost strained at the end. It was the most he's ever heard her talk. "It goes away as they get older, usually."

"Wait wait, you're meaning to say these things pop up into your world and folklore and you never once thought that it had any truth behind it?" Lavellan sounded incredulous and Lyn's eyebrow began to twitch. "It sounds like this may even be an everyday occurrence of sorts, since your elders constantly warn and teach the youth in your community. Why else would they feel compelled to? Even a story holds a semblance of a truth."

Solas appeared to agree and Lyn only seemed to get irritated, though she did not snap at the woman for her question.

"Why should I have? I was never given a reason to believe in it. Or even God. Or is it God **s**?" She replied with a frown marring her face, "My people also believed in the Creators. I don't know what to believe, anymore. Nothing even makes sense. Not that it ever did, since I've arrived here. But this is just a whole new level of crazy."

The girl lived in such a way that she constantly questioned her surroundings. Questioning the beliefs she grew up with without even prompting, which was admirable. Lyn may have been a surly and snappish woman toward him, but Solas acknowledged the fact that she was not what she presented herself to be outwardly. At least she showed some intelligence – when she was not angry, that is.

Though he knew not what her true self even was.

"You know that dalish elves believe in the Creators and didn't think once to bring up the fact that people from your world believed in the same thing?" Lavellan pressed and Lyn's eyes flashed for a second.

"Hey, now. I'm not even sure if it's the same thing, here." She snapped that time, though her voice didn't raise. "This isn't exactly something that I'd like to lay out for everyone to see, you know. But if you'd prefer, I could always just keep my mouth shut."

Lavellan seemed to visibly get upset at her words and even Solas felt a little irritation seeping through his mask. It seemed if they didn't tread carefully, the otherworlder may just clam up and refuse to speak of the matter. A rather childish reaction, he thought. But not unfounded.

"It would have certainly made things easier. But our reaction to the first time you confided in us – it makes sense why you'd be less apt to do such a thing again." The Inquisitor's shoulders slumped slightly.

Lyn's lips thinned as she stared at the two and appeared as though she were about to speak. But they heard some rustling around, causing their attention to divert toward her tent. Soon enough, the sleepy form of Cole slowly emerged with his hat missing and hair standing on end. He ambled toward the otherworlder and took a seat right behind her. They'd obviously woke him up. Which begged the question, who else was awake in their tents listening?

The otherworlder's eyes widened and a blush spread across her cheeks. She only seemed to get even more flustered when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him, his head resting on her shoulder and hiding his face.

It seemed that Cole had become more comfortable with displaying his affection toward the otherworlder. Or, perhaps, he'd always been comfortable with it and Lyn simply didn't mind anymore. One couldn't be completely sure.

His arms tightened around her waist, pulling her back against his chest as they sat in the grass across the small campfire. The rogue appeared to speak in a hushed tone, right into her ear, before Lyn's face turned beet red. She shook her head and looked up at Lavellan and Solas hesitantly, before sighing in resignation.

**First Person**

_"Look at me, love. I want to see you." Cole murmured softly, and I felt his fingers caress my cheek gently – turning my head in his direction as he hovered above me. My eyes fluttered open and met his. "I want you to see me."_

_"I see you." My voice came out strained as he –_

I shook my head and pushed the memory of that night away, feeling my face burn hotly. Cole's chest rumbled, likely from amusement, as his arms tightened around my waist. I sighed in resignation, trying not to let his new term of endearment get to me. He'd addressed me as such as he spoke just seconds ago, telling me it was alright to trust the two and that it wouldn't help if I closed myself off again.

Always acting as the voice of reason, that one.

He was right, though. I couldn't just refuse to tell them anything simply because of my childish whims. Couldn't help it sometimes, though. It was a horrible habit that I was trying to break.

"Whatever the case may be, if you discover anything I'll try my best to help. Solas." I addressed after I coughed awkwardly into my hand.

"I'll let you know when something comes up." Was his rather clipped answer, but he didn't say anything otherwise.

* * *

The snow was falling slowly, collecting and building up on everyone's shoulders as we began our ascent up the Frostbacks. It reminded me of Minnesota, where the winters were usually harsh and filled with the fluffy substance. I thought it was funny, because Iron Bull's horns didn't have any body heat to them. So said horns had a nice fine layer of snow resting atop them.

"Hey, Bull." I addressed, feeling a question niggling at my mind just then. The warrior 'hmmed' and turned his head toward me. "Do you ever get icicles to dangle from your horns during icy weather conditions?"

"Oh, yeah. More times than I can count. Sometimes Krem likes to play this little game. I don't like the game, but it's a  _game_. He throws snowballs at my horns and tries to knock them off." He grumbled, then added in a quieter tone. "Bastard."

"Sounds like something Krem would do." I mumble and Bull shrugged and shook his head.

"You said at one point you didn't think the Fade even existed in your world, what do you think now?" Lavellan suddenly stated, diverting my attention from the Qunari at my left. The elf had a contemplative look on her face, eyebrows scrunched as she ambled forth.

"I don't even know, to be honest. I'm not an expert in the Fade." I drawled. Because I'd totally know the inner workings of the Fade right off the bat now that I know the Fade actually exists in my world. "Ask Solas, he knows about all this … Fade-y stuff."

Iron Bull snorted.

"I have never been to your world, so I would not know such things. Unfortunate as that may be..." The hobo-mage almost seemed saddened at the prospect that he knew nothing of the Fade from my world. "Though our last conversation left me with some new information to mull over when I have the time."

"Right."

"I find it quite curious how people brush such things aside, denying it's very existence. I'd even go as far as to say the Fade may be more existent in your world than you realize. Perhaps even more than this one." Solas continued, looking off into the distance with a rather contemplative look on his face. "Spirits, after all, do not have free reign over the physical world. It confuses them."

"The little boy whispers and beckons, standing in the treeline. Your brother was afraid to follow, because your grandparents warned him." Cole felt the need to add his input. I wondered how it was that rogues were able to just … appear like that without my (or anyone) noticing. Cole was rather good at it, though. "The little spirit boy."

I shivered, remembering the stories Kyle had told me about when he was smaller. Oftentimes he'd see a form in the trees, in the bushes. Beckoning him, waving for him to follow. Spirits and ghosts were a widely accepted part of the Ojibwe/Chippewa culture. I wasn't sure about other Native American tribes, but there were likely some similarities.

"She wakes up screaming, a sheen of sweat coating her body. The faceless white shadow; haunting, following, reaching out but can't touch. She can feel it, hear it, but she can't see it. Approaching, encroaching, driving her mad. Mad? Maddening, madness?" His hat hid his expression as he gazed forth. "He still wants her, feeding off of her fear."

"Are you talking about Angel?" I wondered aloud and a few of the others seemed to have started to listen in as well. The subject piqued everyone's interest, it seemed. They all knew what we might encounter when we get back to Skyhold. I was hoping for the best, that nothing happened. But I kind of knew... I knew.

"Yes. He tried to take her. Has tried, since she was little. But he can't get her, she won't let him." Cole stated confidently, "Even though it would be easier now that she's  _here_."

"Oh my God." My little sister has been resisting demons from her mind for as long as I can remember, if that is anything to go by.

"I see I was correct in my assumptions that she has had previous contact with a malevolent spirit." Solas' hand rested underneath his chin, though he did not look over and make eye contact with anyone.

"Is she at risk for possession? Why has no one been informed of this prior?" Cassandra's clipped tone butted in, obviously worried about the welfare of the people within Skyhold's walls. I didn't blame her, but I only hoped she didn't try to shove her sword up my sister's ass.

"No, she has resisted it for this long." Solas reassured, "No one knew."

"Even the most strongest of willed break at some point." Was Cassandra's dark reply, causing my stomach to knot up. Cole stared at the Seeker, as if knowing something we did not. I urged him to continue, despite not wanting to know.

"Senseless, clouding, gripping fear. Discord of the mind. Sometimes she thinks she will break, but she can't. She is like Lyn. She won't." He stuck up for my sister, and a few of the others still seemed a bit uncomfortable with the prospect. I idly wondered if perhaps I would have to take my sister and run, to avoid her either becoming Tranquil or getting killed. "For us. For them."

Apparently being a bit hardheaded and stubborn also runs in the family. Go figure.

"How can you be so human one moment then just … not?" Sera's snarky voice interrupted our conversation.

"I am me. I am … different."

"There's nothing wrong with that, Cole." My hand came up to rest on his elbow, an almost instinctive form of physical comfort. He turned to me, a soft look in his eyes.

"I know."

* * *

I pelted the back of Sera's head with a snowball I'd created and casually looked around, trying to look inconspicuous. It didn't work.

"Wha' was that for!?" She yelled angrily, turning around and grabbing a handful of snow with a crazed look on her face. "You'll regret that, ya tit!"

Well, that's what she gets for being an ass to Cole earlier.

I took a convenient step behind Iron Bull, seeing the snowball pelt him in his shoulder. He turned his gaze over toward Sera, "Watch where you're throwing those things!"

"Quit hiding and fight me like a woman!" I heard her growl and I peeked out and threw another snowball, popping back into place behind Bull.

"What am I, your shield?"

"You're a  _meat_  shield, remember?" Was my bland reply, getting a snort out of Dorian at his side. A snowball flew between his massive horns and he turned toward the loud elf.

"Oh, that's it." He spoke ominously. And that's how a small snowball fight started. Balls of the white substance went flying back and forth as some of the other members of the party began to join in on the fun. The only ones that didn't were; Solas, Dorian, Vivienne and Cole. Cole, because he had no idea who to side with and kept staring at everyone with wide eyes. Dorian because he preferred watching us for his own entertainment, no doubt (and didn't want to get his footsies cold). Solas and Vivienne, because they were party poopers.

Even Riley tried to contribute, jumping up into the air and catching any stray snowballs that seemed to miss their targets. He'd bounded over and tripped Sera for me, sending the elf sprawled onto the ground for a few moments.

It was mostly a free-for-all kind of thing and only lasted maybe a few minutes before everyone was staring at one another cautiously. Waiting for someone else to throw another one of the blasted things.

"Are we going to set up camp?" Cassandra asked casually as the group started to walk away. I sat in the snow quietly, watching their backs as they left to set up camp. I'd somehow ended up on the snow and simply sat there for a few moments to gather myself, breath coming out in steady pants.

"It's getting late anyway." The Inquisitor agreed with a nod of her head, her face oddly happy. While I was in the middle of brushing snow off of my armor and body, I felt something soft as it was draped around my shoulders. Blinking, I looked up and saw Cole crouching right next to me at my right. I hadn't even heard him approach.

Sneaky rogues...

The object he'd draped on my shoulders had been his scarf and I fingered the soft material with a small smile on my face.

"Well, that was fun." I offered and stood up, "Never thought so many would join in, to be honest."

"They were heavy, burdens of battles hanging down on them. Crushing, suffocating. You helped them feel better, untangled the hurt and loosened the knots." Cole's hands were much warmer than my own, since he hadn't joined our little snowball fight. I say this because he'd grabbed mine and held them between us. I hadn't noticed until then, but his hands were much larger than mine. "You are cold."

"Tends to happen when you're scooping up snow and throwing it at your friends." I commented offhandedly, giving him a grin. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold and he tilted his head as he listened to me. "I'm glad they feel happier, at least for a little while. It's rare to find happiness in such trying times as this."

I referred to the fact that Corypheus loomed over us all and the potential that the world may end would set anyone on edge. Not only that but …

"Yes. Happier, brighter a much lighter feeling. Laughter less strained and forced. Happy is good." He leaned down and his nose was pressed against mine. I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped my lips, "You're happier, too. Not just because of today."

"Yeah..." These passed few days I'd been fretting because of what happened back in Val Royeaux. More specifically, over the fact that I knew the chances of me dying during our fight with Corypheus was higher than the others. For one, I was less experienced in battle. And most importantly … the evil bastard wanted to get his claws on my sister.  _My sister._

Calpernia worked directly underneath him, didn't she? She may have been the one giving the orders, but ultimately it was Corypheus that was behind everything. The thought terrified me, but it was times like this that made things a little bit easier.

"I won't let anything happen to you."

"I'm more worried about my sister." I answered honestly, "All my life, I've tried my best to protect her. Be there for her. But here I am powerless. I can't do anything."

"You can try."

"Yes, I can always try."

I turned around and we slowly walked back toward the rest of them so that we could set up our tent for the night. The chilled night air blew passed my face and I sighed, feeling Cole's hand over mine made me feel a little more at ease.

The fire was already up and going, the horses tied off to some trees with their tack laying along a branch. I separated from my awkward rogue and made my way over toward our things, gathering the tent and essentials before heading back to set things up. It was a routine, by now. Everyone shared a tent with someone, seeing as how we couldn't very well carry one for each person. That would just be inefficient.

By the time I was done setting everything up, the only person out by the fire was Varric and Cole as they stared off into the flickering flames. Guess Varric was blessed with having first watch, this time. Bastard.

"Heeeey there, Varric." I waved lazily as I sat down in the snow, not at all minding the fact that my ass was already wet. When I curled up later I would likely just peel off these pants and put on a new pair anyway.

"Oh, hi Screech. Feelin' better?"

"I'm fine." I shrugged, feeling my shoulder crack. I then proceeded with stretching my arms to get the kinks out. "Taking it chunk by chunk, lest I overwhelm myself with worrying. Possibly over nothing, even."

"It's not nothing. It's your sister, it's okay to be worried."

"I know."

It was silent for some time as I mulled over the day's events. Cole was, as usual, quiet. Riley had walked up and plopped down right next to me at some point and I was idly playing with the soft fur behind his ears. The Mabari groaned, leaning into the pets and I smiled.

"Ah, pretty soon there will be little half-spirits running around." Varric decided to speak up, a cheesy grin on his face. I felt my smile falter as I peered up at him through my messy hair.

"Probably not." I shook my head, squinting at him and trying not to think about it. No. Nope. Don't do it. At least there was just us, otherwise I would have felt apprehensive about the subject. No one else needed to know.

"Why not? I mean, after all this shit is done and over with -"

"No." My brown gaze hardened, giving him a look that said 'drop the subject'.

It wouldn't happen, because I couldn't  _have_  children. The dwarf seemed to have gotten the message as he silenced himself, holding his hands up in surrender. Though it seemed life was not going to go that easy on me just yet.

"She can't because she is … damaged, broken? No, that's wrong – she's." Came Cole's innocent statement before he paused abruptly and turned to stare at me with a hurt expression.

The pain that laced through me must have been like a slap to him. Shit. He obviously hadn't realized how insensitive he'd sounded and I couldn't help the ache that had wormed it's way into my chest just then. Even though I knew he didn't mean it in a malicious way.

I was defective, faulty, incomplete.

"I … I suppose you could call it that." I murmured, averting my eyes from the two.

"N-no! It came out wrong, again!" The blonde rogue fretted, his hands coming up in front of his body.

"It's okay, Cole." I tried to reassure with a shake of my head, "You didn't mean anything by it. I get it."

"Shit, sorry Screech." Varric actually sounded like he regretted bringing up the subject, but that wasn't what I focused on. It was the 'sorry' that seemed to set me off just then. Always with the sorry. Sorry this. Sorry that.

"You're  _sorry?_ " I snapped, suddenly feeling a bit cornered. I hadn't wanted anyone to know about it for this very reason. I only hoped no one else found out, "Why? Because you feel obligated to  _pity_  me? It's none of your business whether my body can or cannot produce offspring!"

I swept my arm through the air angrily and turned to stomp away through the snow and into my tent to be alone. I didn't want to deal with that. It was something that I'd had to deal with quite a bit growing up. 'Oh, Lyn, you went through this. Oh, Lyn this happened to you?' Unfortunate me! I especially hated it with their pitying stares and empty 'sorry's.

I heard high pitched whining from the flap in the tent and I winced, looking up to see Riley's snout popping through. Just his snout. My body, which was shaking, slowly began to calm and I sighed.

"Ohh... fine. Come in here." He barked happily and wiggled his way through before tracking some snow in and curling up on my right, his body taking up one of the bedrolls. Dogs back on Earth even had that sense, when their companions were sad and needed cheering up. Riley was no different, though much more intelligent.

Then came Cole, who crawled through and sat in front of me with a despondent expression on his face. He slowly took off his hat and set it aside and I felt my stomach roll. I'd overreacted and look what I've done. Idiot.

It seemed I was hopeless when it came to overreacting and snapping at people that didn't deserve it. Ever regret something so much that you feel embarrassed even thinking about it? Yeah.

"Snapping at Varric like that had been wrong. And I-I …" His voice lowered to the faintest of whispers, his hand coming up to rest on my stomach. "You aren't  _faulty_. I didn't mean it like that."

"I know. I'm sorry." My hand came up and rested on my face, "I doubt I'd make a good mother, anyway."

"Cold, greedy, uncaring – she only saw you and saw a way out. Just because  _she_  didn't know, doesn't mean you wouldn't." Yes, mother only saw the money. My shoulders slumped and he continued, "You aren't  _any_  of those things, Lyn. You took care of your siblings when she couldn't. Wouldn't."

"Doesn't matter. It's probably better this way." For the both of us. I shook my head and offered a wary smile, "I should probably apologize for being such a bitch to Varric. You're right, I shouldn't have snapped at him."

"You are the Ma'iingan, the wolf. When a wolf feels cornered, he snaps. But he is also protective, loyal and keeps his pack safe." Cole spoke, referring to my clan. I never completely understood the clan systems. But at the mention of the one I belonged to, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad.  _It was a dying culture anyway._  I looked away, suppressing a grimace. "You don't like it … the culture. Your people."

"Not particularly. I'd have preferred to keep it under wraps, to be honest." My hand rested on Riley's head and I began to pet him slowly, "But I don't dislike my people. I just … I don't know anymore."

"Don't abandon the pack. You need them as much as theyneed _you._ " He urged and I, for whatever reason, felt my body begin to shake again.

"I'd never." The friends I've made. How could I ever even think of abandoning them? I couldn't.

"I know." Cole began to rock slightly, "You just needed to hear it."

* * *

When I exited the tent, I saw Varric sitting by the fire quietly as he used a cloth of some sort to clean Bianca. If I had a tail, it would likely be between my legs. Wonderful.

Cautiously, I approached the dwarf and crouched a ways away with a frown etched onto my features. Apologizing was not my strong suit, I'll tell you that. There was a certain amount of … pride that I had and coming up with the right words to genuinely apologize to someone always seemed too hard to force out of my mouth.

"Alright, look. I didn't mean to set you off like that. It's just..." Varric paused in his work, sighing as he peered over at me with a look in his eye I couldn't distinguish.

"Varric, I …  _apologize_  for snapping on you." It must have looked like I ate a lemon, or something. Because a flash of amusement went across his face for the briefest of seconds. "I realize you did not mean it like I'd thought you did."

"How did you  _think_  I meant it? I was being pretty straightforward." The dwarf tilted his head questioningly before averting his gaze back down to his prized crossbow. His big blocky hands ran over the curves as if by muscle memory, making sure she was cleaned and in tip-top condition.

"I've had to deal with pitying looks all my life. I thought you were just apologizing because you felt you needed to." I decided to elaborate for the first time instead of just leaving people to guess why it was I got angry. He deserved that, at least. "That doesn't excuse my behavior. Again, I'm sorry and I understand if you're still mad at me … I ughh … kinda  _deserve it_."

The dwarf turned to look at me for awhile, as if weighing my words. He must have seen my honest expression, or maybe it was the fact that I wasn't glaring or scowling. I felt horrible, to put it simply. The frown on my face wasn't one out of anger, but out of remorse. Snapping at Varric had been a bad thing to do and I should have known that he wasn't like most of the people I'd encountered in my life. He actually cared.

"I'd ask just what happened to you to earn that, but I'm guessing that's too personal."

"Not something I would like to openly discuss, actually. What's happened in the past doesn't matter." I shook my head, playing with some of the cold snow beneath my fingers as I remained crouched near the fire. "What  _does_  matter, however, is how I deal with things now.  _Who_  I am now."

I heard him make a 'hmmm' noise as he went back to his work and when I looked back up he had a faint smile on his face.

"So that would explain why the Kid has slowly been becoming less and less broody when he's alone. He thinks no one notices, but I do." He grabbed a bottle of something and began to put some of it in the gears, his eyes squinting ever so slightly as if making sure not to drop any on the wood. "You do, too."

"Of course, I wouldn't just leave him to brood on his own all the time." I stated matter-of-factly, feeling one of those itching questions burning at the back of my mind again. "You always call him 'Kid', even though he's probably as old as I am. Not counting the fact that he's actually a being from the Fade that could be thousands of years our senior?" I rose a brow curiously, getting a chuckle out of the dwarf though he didn't take his attention off of Bianca.

"He may be a young man, but he'll always be 'the Kid' to me."

"Ah, I see." I was unfamiliar with endearments awarded by fathers, but it kind of made sense. I heard parents saying something similar, actually. 'You'll always be my little girl' or 'You'll always be my baby'. Huh, interesting.

"Look, he might not even be able to anyway. For all we know he's … in a similar state." Trying out tact, are we? I sighed and rubbed my shoulder awkwardly.

"Well … his body, for all intents and purposes,  _functions_  like a normal human's. I don't see why it wouldn't be a possibility." I coughed, feeling my face flush. At that point he'd stopped his work and stared at me with an equally awkward look on his face.

"Right." He spoke, obviously feeling the same way about the direction the conversation went as well. I decided it was probably time to direct it elsewhere.

"Thank you for being there. For him, I mean. He needs people like you in his life."

"The same could go for you, Screech." Varric sighed, readjusting himself and his massive crossbow from his spot in the snow. The illumination from the fire cast warm shadows over the scene, even though it was freezing balls out. "Some of the others may not agree with your relationship, but you're good for him. And vice versa."

"Oh, is this an approval from Daddy Tethras?"

He chuckled good-heartedly, "I suppose you could call it that, you have my blessings and yadda-yadda. Whatever it is I'm supposed to say." He paused for a second, as if thinking. "Just don't make it weird."

Oh, I'd make it weird. It's what I do.

"Now I have to get an approval from Mother Solas. Damn,  _that_  isn't happening." I grumbled and the dwarf groaned. "It's okay, mother back on Earth was a bitch too. I'm used to it."

"And now you've gone and made it weird. Again." I laughed, pulling my hand up to cover my mouth in the process. Varric seemed baffled for a second before he let out his own chuckle as he shook his head. "You don't have to act so growly all the time, I'm sure the others will understand."

"Habit now, I'm afraid." I shrugged, smile still on my face. "Perhaps in time."

I considered it. Maybe. It might take awhile, though. I got this far, didn't I? Years ago I would have scoffed at the idea of even conversing with people or associating with them in any way. It used to be  _bad_.

Though I also considered calling Solas 'mom' and Varric 'dad' just to embarrass them both. That would make for some interesting reactions.

* * *

Our last day out and we were nearing Skyhold. It wasn't in view yet, but I was walking along the path. Some of our party members opted for staying on their horses, but I felt the need to stretch my legs again. A small book was poised in front of my face and I kept getting incredulous looks from Cassandra. I furrowed my brow as I reread a certain section within the book.

"Her breasts strained against her corset and she let out a low whine,  _'Could you help me out of this, Ser?_ _'_ " I recited, looking at the author of the book and tilting my head. "Really, Varric? She just met the man, what kind of woman allows a man to undress her so suddenly?"

The dwarf in question turned to look in my direction with a slight tinge of pink to his face, obviously having not expected such a thing to come from me. I ambled along the road lazily, the small book parted between my fingers as I split my attention on walking and reading.

"Where did you get that?" Was Varric's question and I shrugged, and Cassandra was now looking at me in horror. Was I not supposed to read this out in the open and discuss it?

"I found it." I lied, turning my gaze back to the book as if I continued reading.

"You're shit at lying, Screech."

"Yeah, I never claimed to be any good at it." I shrugged distractedly and continued reading the paragraph, my mouth slowly opening – eyes widening as I skimmed over a rather erotic section. He was pretty … descriptive about –

"See something you like?" Varric teased and I snapped my mouth shut and scowled, turning my burning brown gaze in his direction.

"What is it with men and breasts? They are a nuisance." I stated a fact, there. Breasts, when they got too large, really did pose a problem. More often than not, if I accidentally held my bow wrong I'd accidentally end up hurting the sensitive fleshballs on my chest. Damn breasts.

"You did not just ask that question." Iron Bull butted into the conversation, his head tilted ever so slightly as he stared down at us both.

"Figures, poor Screechie can't even appreciate a good rack." Sera threw in a jibe of her own and I felt my face getting warm on it's own accord. I hadn't even realized some of the others were even listening. Yet again.

"I don't know, why don't you ask the Kid?" Oh, two could play this game little dwarf.

"It would be moot point, I already know how fond of them he is." I stated plainly, seeing his smile falter as he snapped his head in the spirit's direction. Cole was walking ahead of us a ways and was being curiously quiet and I allowed my gaze to trace his figure thoughtfully. "And I'm more of an ass woman."

Oh, yes. Look at those posterior dimensions. When the blonde rogue in question spoke up I immediately averted my eyes, afraid of being caught. Again.

_Stop staring at his ass, Lyn!_

"Soft." One word popped out of Cole's mouth, "Soft like pillows, yet not. I like them because-"

"Whoa!" Varric interrupted, his hands held up in the universal 'surrender' sign.

"Pervert." I blurted, feeling my face flush. Even though  _I_  was the one walking out in the open reading a  _smutty romance novel_. Hypocritical, I tell ya.

"I'm … a pervert?" Cole sounded so confused as he stared at me with widened blue eyes, hands picking at the sleeves of his leather jacket. I snapped the book shut and put it in my cargo pocket, remembering how I'd acquired the piece of literature.

* * *

_(A Week Prior)_

"I always see you reading that book." I commented offhandedly as I attempted to mutilate the training dummy in the training grounds, the rocks shifting underneath my feet as I repositioned my weight.

"I-I am not  _always_  reading it." Cassandra sounded aghast and she snapped the book shut so quickly I almost expected it to fall apart. The book was pretty worn out looking, as well. So it wouldn't have surprised me.

"It's alright to enjoy a good book, Cassandra." I rose a brow, "I like reading, myself. I was just … curious."

"Not just any book. Swords and Shields."

My eyes widened and I looked down at her worn out copy. Well, that must be the smutty book that she read in the game. I'd read a few smutty fanfictions in my days on Earth, but never enough to gain an official interest in them. Mostly because I avoided romantic stories like they were the plague.

"I-I see. I apologize if I am bothering you it's just-" I turned and threw a few throwing knives, only one of them actually hitting the dummy. Even then, it hit the damn thing with the hilt and went skittering into the dirt. I frowned, "I've been itching to read a good book and …"

"Y-You? Read this?" The Seeker spoke as if the thought itself was absurd, though I couldn't help but detect a little … hopefulness?

I was almost inclined to agree, about it being absurd, but – I had no clue what kinds of books were considered  _good_  in this world. The only books that are talked about are, of course, Varric's. Since he is here in Skyhold, he is sometimes a topic for discussion whenever I hear about books.

I pulled out a few more knives and got into a stance, "I'm thinking about it."

"It's terrible … and magnificent."

"Well. If it can make you feel those two things at the same time, it's either really bad or really good." I nodded thoughtfully, sending my first knife through the air and completely missing. And judging by how worn out that copy was, she definitely didn't think it was  _bad_. "Guessing it's the latter."

"This … this is the latest copy. But if you'd like, I could lend you the first few volumes." She offered almost reluctantly and I threw my next one but ended up fumbling, it landed in the dirt about halfway there.

"Shit." I grumbled underneath my breath, "I mean, yes. I-I ah. I'd like that."

And that's how I ended up with two volumes of Swords and Shields in my pack.

* * *

"Well I'll be damned, Screech has opened up to romance novels. What's next?" Varric shifted Bianca around on his back as he offered a grin in my direction.

 _Romance? I_ _'m_ _really only interested in the smutty parts of the book, to be honest._ I sighed and scratched my head, hearing a few people make choking noises. I was turning into somewhat of a closet pervert. My eyes slowly opened, seeing Varric look at me smugly. Iron Bull was trying to contain his laughter and Cassandra looked absolutely scandalized.

Oh.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"...Yeah."

Okay, so I'm not a closet pervert anymore. Everyone already knows.

"It's okay. I like them, too." Cole tilted his head, suddenly appearing at my side. My face pinkened, "You read the scene on page 40, at lot. Would you like to-"

I squawked and my hand covered his mouth so quickly he stumbled back a few steps. Cassandra looked like she knew  _exactly_  which scene he was talking about (It was  _her_  book, after all. It was dogeared, sue me.). The others casually continued walking. The Seeker made a disgusted noise and stomped forth, face redder than ever. More laughter from the damn Qunari and grossed out noises from Sera faded into the background as their crunching footsteps ascended the snowy mountain.

"Not. In public." I gritted out, cheeks now matching the color of Cassandra's face. When I removed my hand he looked utterly confused.

"But everyone thinks about it. It's normal." He sounded oddly chipper as he explained to me, "Some like slow, soft and gentle. Others fast, rough – clawing at the sheets."

Oh my God.

"Varying, fluctuating differences. People have preferences and … I don't know what yours are. I'd like to know."

Not even I knew, but it felt like everything suddenly got warmer. Must have been the bipolar weather. Yeah. There's something wrong with me. I shifted uncomfortably and tried to ignore the way he turned to look at me just then, like he'd heard something he liked. Errgh.

I sighed as we began walking, though now a safe distance behind the other members of the party. My hand came up and I rubbed the bridge of my nose, wondering just how in the hell I'd gotten myself in this situation.

"T-That's … something w-we'd have to find out together." I forced out, though I was unable to keep the squeakiness or stuttering out of my voice.

My sister always said that the 'experimentation' part of a relationship was always fun. Or a deal breaker. Let us just hope that it is the former.

"Experiment?"

"Right. Let's just move on, shall we?" I forced out, voice sounding high pitched and nervous. My feet moved fast as I skittered forward toward the rest of them, seeing Skyhold coming into view just over the hill. I could have sworn I saw a man standing at the top, before he turned and ran toward the fortress.

For some reason my stomach felt like it had curdled milk in it. Like I'd eaten something unsavory.

When we finally started to cross the stone bridge, the sounds from our boots and the hooves from the horses were the only thing to fill the air. Why, you say? Because at the end, near the metal gates, stood Leliana with a grim look on her face.

Well, maybe she always looked grim. She seemed a guarded woman. A much different woman than the one I knew from Origins, that was for sure. But she did not look happy at all.

"Inquisitor." The Spymaster greeted, her red hair peeking out from underneath her soft blue hood. She stood, posture straight and waited to be acknowledged.

"Leliana, what news do you have for us today?" Lavellan's voice drifted across the still air and I saw Cole freeze up in my peripheral, his head whipping over to look at me with a panicked look on his face.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news. It seems Eren and Angel have gone missing." Was her even reply and it took awhile for the word to register, "Taken, rather."

"Taken?"

It was like my worst nightmare come true.


	37. Uncover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We figure out how Lyn got to Thedas and they gear up to enter the Temple of Mythal. Also, Lyn's teasing backfires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Split chapter. The next part will be posted tomorrow sometime.

The briefing was … well … brief. Right at the gates of Skyhold, Leliana and Lavellan spoke in swift clipped tones on what had happened. Technical details, information, who had been the one to take them. Angel and Eren had been spotted by multiple people, leaving with one of her templar escorts for a 'walk' just outside of the walls. Though said templar escort was actually found dead in the washrooms, stripped of his armor and mangled.

Everything seemed to float into one ear and out the other as I stood there frozen, eyes unmoving from the spot where the Inquisitor was standing.

My sister – oh Gods, my sister. It felt like my stomach turned to ice and their words faded away, my thoughts clouding over as fear gripped me.

They spoke of fortifying the defenses even more in preparation for an attack, because it could very well happen at any point now. They especially knew that the Venatori knew our location, since they'd been the ones to make a move at us at the Winter Palace in Halamshiral.

It was the Venatori that tried to take me, now they've probably got their claws on my sister. My sister, who was just an innocent bystander in this. My sister, who had just turned 18 years old. My sister … who had already gone through enough in her short life to send anyone spiraling into depression. But she always kept her head high. It was just how we were.

How would she fare now, after this? Would she even survive? Would she  _want_  to? Eren was taken, too. And Leliana had suggested that it was because he was being used as leverage. If she wasn't compliant, Eren would get killed or used to their own ends – more or less.

Old me would have hissed about that situation.  _'Love is a weakness'_  I'd have said.

I pushed that thought out of my head and looked up at the two as they spoke, most of the others having left already to give the Inquisitor and the Spymaster some privacy.

"We have to find her! She could be dead! Or worse." I blurted after there was a pause in their discussion.

"We must remain calm and plan accordingly. Getting enraged will only serve to cause more problems." The coldness of Leliana's voice almost had me in hysterics.

"Calm? You want me to remain  _calm_  when my little sister was captured by Venatori and is possibly being used in some sick experiment?!" My voice cracked as I flailed my arm angrily, not even registering the fact that this woman could likely kill me with the flick of her wrist. "Did you see what they did to me? And they thought me a simple weak civilian girl! She's a mage!"

In the back of my mind, I was wondering if this was what it was like to truly hate. To hate someone so much that it seared right through my being, settling in my stomach like a disease. To hate someone so much you wished death upon them.

And to be the one to kill them with your very hands.

"Lyn..." Cole's voice next to me was far away, now. Like it was behind glass. I hated them. I wanted to kill them. I wanted nothing more than for them all to be dead. Corypheus. The Venatori.  _Calpernia_.

"T-They'll … pay. They'll a-all pay." I spat, eyes never leaving the scattered cobblestone underneath my feet. Skittles still stood idly nearby, her hooves shifting around uneasily.

It should have been me. Should have been me. Not her. Anyone but her.

I was numbly aware of the voices in the background and the feel of someone's hands on my face, my own being in my hair yanking – eyes unfocused.

It was almost akin to the feeling I got when I was 12 years old, living in foster care. Roiling around in my stomach, dark and sticky. Clinging to me and threatening to pull me under. But right then, it was almost this …  _consuming_  feeling. I couldn't shake it off, no matter how much I tried to tell myself to breathe and calm down. The thought did cross my mind, to take off and find her myself. But where were they? Where would I go? What would I do if I did find them?

It wasn't that easy. This was bullshit. Bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.

_It should have been me._

**Third Person**

Lavellan was listening to everyone in the war room speak about Corypheus' plans. Morrigan was now their liaison and was now residing in Skyhold for the time being. She came with her son, Kieran, who was a sweetheart. A bit odd in his way of greetings (he'd asked her why her people wanted to look like that, or whatever), but sweet nonetheless.

The Inquisitor was having an increasingly difficult time keeping up with all the events that had been thrown at her since her arrival at the fortress. The weight of the situation was already bearing down on her, but even more so now that things were heating up. The Venatori becoming more bold and reckless in their endeavors. There was a possibility of them just outright attacking their base, now. They couldn't afford to take unnecessary risks.

Morrigan had mentioned that the magister planned to get an Eluvian, or she theorized, in the Arbor Wilds. Which was where they were planning on going.

"It will be near impossible to split Inquisition forces. We have to keep troops here, as well as send some to the Arbor Wilds with you to assist in the attack." Commander Cullen spoke with authority, informing everyone in the room as he stood with his usual regal posture. "There is always the possibility of Skyhold getting invaded while you're gone. Are you sure you want to risk that, Inquisitor?"

"So I'm choosing between assistance in the Arbor Wilds and keeping Skyhold safe?" Her gaze hardened, the tiredness showed up on her face for the first time since becoming the Inquisitor. "I cannot allow what happened earlier to happen again. We will keep a majority of our forces here. Gaspard, Briala and Celene will help us with moving into the Arbor Wilds, I'm sure. The truce between them is active, after all. At least, until the world is safe from Corypheus."

"We should tread lightly with the Venatori, remember Inquisitor." Leliana took on a mildly worried look before schooling her features again. Lavellan nodded but a frown remained on her face. "They've become increasingly more active, if the abduction of the girl is anything to go by. This goes to show he is becoming desperate, taking such bold and dangerous actions. For what? We have yet to find out."

"I understand, but it appears I have not been stern enough. It's about time we step up." 'It's about time  _ **I**_  stepped up' went unsaid. Lavellan was mentally berating herself, wondering if she's even good enough for this job. Could she really fill these shoes? She'd obviously not done a good job so far, if their walls have been breached three times since she's become the Inquisitor. The elf turned toward the Commander, "Cullen?"

"Yes, Inquisitor?"

"I would like you to work together with Blackwall and Iron Bull about any emergency policies we should enforce, provided something like this happens again." They couldn't risk it and Lavellan would make sure it won't happen again. "There will always be someone here in Skyhold that knows how and what to do to command the troops, we'll make sure of that."

Lavellan thought about naïve she has been up until then, thinking things would simply work themselves out. That it would be enough to be there as a figurehead to inspire people to move forward.  _But that wasn't enough._  She had to learn when to be a stern leader and when to be a gentle and compassionate one. Did she have to choose between one and the other?

"Of course, I'll get right on that." The Commander's posture straightened, if at all possible, as he offered a nod in her direction. "Some updates to the old policy will be made and our guards trained accordingly."

"It is my belief that they knew that Lyn was not a mage." Leliana felt the need to speak up, "They did not take the necessary precautions to subdue a mage. Almost like it was merely a scare tactic. Something to keep us busy."

"You did not think to speak of this beforehand?" Cullen nearly snapped, the stress of the situation weighing down on everyone in the room. It was like the tension heightened as the Spymaster and the Commander looked at one another with steely gazes.

"I had suspected she would get attacked, yes. Though if I had mentioned it before, we would have lost the advantage we had of knowing when they'd strike." The redhead reasoned, and logically she was right. But Lavellan thought she had gone about it in the wrong way. She didn't disagree, just... "But I had not foreseen the obvious lack of concern for her 'mage' status. That was a dead giveaway, but it had been intentional."

Then it was time for the Inquisitor to butt in before everything boiled over and everyone started to argue. It was almost like what had happened right after Haven when she woke up, the two of them about to get into a heated verbal dispute.

"Leliana, I understand your need to keep the advantage but sometimes not telling us could do more harm than good." Lavellan spoke firmly, "We must trust each other on these kinds of things."

"Even if such a thing could have sent them in the other direction? What then, would we have done when they retreated back into the shadows?" The Spymasters face scrunched minutely, her lip curling at the thought.

"I think what she is trying to say is you are too soft, Inquisitor." Morrigan spoke up slowly, a small smile forming on her face. Lavellan turned and frowned at the mage. She still did not trust her. "'Twas not my intent to offend. As much as it pains me to say, the woman has a point."

"It's something that we'd have to figure out  _together_." The elf was firm on her statement, something in her chest twisting at the thought that their quarrels could someday split the Inquisition in half. It couldn't happen. It wouldn't. Not if she had a say in it. Her voice slowly rose, demeanor finally slipping and snapping. "We can't go sneaking around behind one another's backs and expect anything to get done. I may be  _soft_ , but I'm still learning – we're still learning – and I will not allow such a thing to happen!"

They were silent for a moment at the elf's uncharacteristic behavior. Lavellan never rose her voice or spoke in the manner she was during this meeting. It was almost like something had changed within her. After a few beats of silence, the Inquisitor continued.

"I apologize." Lavellan leveled her stern gaze at the Spymaster, addressing her in a professional tone of voice. "Leliana, you said it had been intentional. Intentional how, exactly?"

"I know these games, Inquisitor. They were telling us that they have the upper hand and they know it, a display of power." The woman began, almost hesitantly at first. As if gauging her expression and making sure she wouldn't snap back out of fury. "They know the location of Skyhold, but have yet to openly attack."

"Because Corypheus  _has_  what he wants. The final piece of the puzzle simply lies within the Arbor Wilds." Morrigan sighed, reiterating her statement from earlier. "What does he need this mage-girl for, I wonder? 'Tis a curious thing."

"All the more reason to jump into this as soon as possible. We have no time to waste." The Inquisitor shifted uncomfortably on her feet. And they really didn't.

For all Lavellan knew, they were torturing the poor teen for answers. Answers to what? She could only dream of why. Perhaps Lyn's fear of Corypheus trying to find a way to Earth was well founded? What would the crazed darkspawn magister want with Earth, though? It doesn't make sense. If Leliana came up with anything to suggest even a hint of that being truth, what would they even do?

No. It is unlikely. Though one thing was for sure. He needed Angel for something. But what?

Leliana seemed just as upset as Lavellan, just then. It was hard to tell, with how well she was able to mask her emotions, but the way she spoke during that meeting expressed the amount of disdain she felt for not catching on sooner. For not being good enough. The wavy haired elf felt the need to make one last closing statement, to ensure they did not leave on a bad note.

"It is our capacity to work close to one another that keeps us going strong. We may have been attacked, we may have had our walls breached a few times, but we will  _always_  prevail. I have no doubt about that. So long as we don't allow this to drive us apart." Lavellan was thinking about the three she forced into a truce as she spoke, her eyes showing the sadness she felt. "Whatever happens, we cannot allow our differences to cloud our judgment and drive a wedge between us. We are the Inquisition. We will get this done  _together_."

That was when she dismissed the meeting, getting a salute out of Cullen, a slight nod of the head from Leliana and a bow from Josephine before they slowly piled out of the room. Though the red-headed Spymaster remained, holding a small stack of papers that she had yet to flip through.

"Is there something you needed, Leliana?"

"Yes, I would speak to you about what I found while you were on your way back to Skyhold." Leliana motioned toward the papers in her arms, "I arrived and was able to get some information on that servant girl. Mari, was her name."

"Alright, this could help us. What have you got?" Lavellan tried to keep the tiredness out of her tone as she shifted on her feet again, wanting nothing than to soak in a nice hot bath. Maybe with Sera. Yes, definitely.

"The woman that abducted Angel and Eren was not even from Tevinter. Originally she worked as a servant for a nobleman. Mari is, indeed, her real name. Upon learning of her mage-status, however, she was handed over to the templars." Leliana flipped through some papers and her icy eyes turned up to look at Lavellan, "She, along with many others, were involved in the Mage-Templar war and had subsequently joined forces with the Venatori."

"How long has she been within the walls, though? How had we not noticed Mari's skewed intentions?"

"Ah, but that's the thing. She popped up shortly after Eren arrived. We'd been too preoccupied with making sure  _he_  was not a threat, why would we focus on one Ferelden-born servant?" The Spymaster shook her head at that statement, "It was the reports written by the Tranquil Helisma that allowed me to attain such information so quickly. We have her to thank."

"Helisma? What reason did she have to suddenly pay extra attention to Mari and Angel?"

"She is Angel's friend, after all. So the two lingered around one another quite often." Her boots clicked on the stone floor as she slowly made her way toward the door, "As a result, she also overheard some things Mari said. Not everything the mage spoke was a lie. The best spies usually use truths to cover up their intentions, after all."

"Helisma remembered and was able to write up a report for you." Lavellan concluded, getting an affirmative nod from Leliana.

"Yes, the report was quite useful. The woman even went as far down as the minute details. Did you know Angel frequently got physically ill after her training sessions with Madame Vivienne?" Her lips quirked for the briefest second before she returned to her passive self, "I will keep you updated."

"Thank you, Leliana."

**First Person**

It had taken quite a bit of time on my part to finally shake off the nervous breakdown that I'd put myself into once we arrived that day. It was evening now, as I made my way up toward Skyhold's main halls after I'd gotten done working. I was a fidgety, stuttering mess for the first few hours. The other stablehands looking at me oddly when I was telling them what they'd forgotten or what they'd missed, words never coming out right.

But could you blame me? The shitty situation I found myself in didn't help and I kept feeling these nervous bouts of anxiety shoot through my body. More times than I'd like to admit, I had to stop what I was doing to even out my breathing to prevent myself from freaking out. It wasn't going too well, overall.

So I went to read a book in the gardens, taking a seat on a bench as I watched the green grass sway in the gentle wind. The book in my hands, obviously, being Swords and Shields. Unlike Cassandra, I was not quite as nervous or embarrassed about reading it out in the open. It was just a book.

Then I saw little legs make their way into my line of sight, causing one of my brows to raise as I looked up. Morrigan, who I'd not been formally introduced to so shouldn't know the name of, stood there along with a child. The child stared at me with a kind smile on his face and spoke as if asking of the weather.

"You are an accident." He smiled and tilted his head. All I could do was blink stupidly. Right. Nice to meet you too, I guess.

I'd been completely surprised to find out that Morrigan was working under Celene and subsequently was sent to Skyhold as a liaison of some sort. Most of what I knew of her was that she was a sassy and cruel woman from Dragon Age: Origins. A woman that I liked, actually. Despite her cruel nature, I knew that wasn't all she was. That's just all she knew to be because of how she was raised. Time can change people though, and I scrapped any of the expectations that I'd had for the woman.

"Charming little fellow, isn't he?" I spoke slowly, not having expected that. Of course I was an accident, my mother was 14 when she had me. If I had been planned, at that point, I'd have more of a reason to consider mother crazy.

"You aren't supposed to be here, never wanted to be." I squinted down at him. Right, so he  _wasn't_  speaking of my mother's bad choices? I looked back up at Morrigan curiously.

"Do you know what it is he speaks of?" Perhaps she would know. She is, afterall, related to Flemeth. Flemeth who …. who. The mage only offered a tight smile, slight recognition shining in her eyes.

"How curious. You say you are a mage, yet you do not know of the block placed on your memory?" She asked as she strode forth. She still believed me a mage, then? I'd have thought Lavellan would have made her privy to the obvious rumor. Or she'd be able to sense if I was, or not.

"A what?" Was all that fell out of my mouth, in the most ungraceful manner. I sounded like a dimwit. I sighed, giving up on trying to make first impressions. "What are you on about?"

"'Twas a joke, I know of your non-mage status. Though this has caught my interest, yes?" Her pale fingers made their way to my face, her golden eyes shining with intelligence. Curiosity. "If I may?"

There was no reason that the woman would want me dead and with the way my nerves were so fried as of late, I really did not seem to care at that moment. I conceded without really thinking about what I was agreeing to.

"Sure, why the hell not." I sighed once more, placing my book on the bench beside me. Her fingers pressed against my forehead and I heard a loud  _'pop!'_ , causing my vision to flicker. Then everything went black as a memory was forced in front of me, painfully might I add.

I remembered how I'd gotten here on Thedas.

* * *

"Who … the hell are you?" I heard a voice echo through my ears and my sight finally flicked back on. I then realized that that voice was mine and I was currently watching myself as I stood in front of … an old woman? That was Flemeth, wasn't it?! Her curved horn shaped white hair stood out most amongst the misty green of what I assumed was the Fade.

"I go by many names, child. Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds, Asha'bellanar. But you may call me Mythal." Was her answer. Of course it was. Why did I have to be right?

"So, you're like a God or something? Is that it?" This got a slight nod from the woman, her hair-horns bobbing along with her head. Doubt flitted across my face and I frowned, not liking where this was going. "I'd like to stay and chat and all, but I have somewhere I really need to be."

_Oh my God._

"No manners! The younglings these days have no respect for their elders." Flemeth, for the most part, took it in stride and seemed to chide me like a child as she folded her hands in front of her body.

"Just because you're a batty old hag doesn't mean I should automatically respect you for it." Was past-me's bland reply, thinking this was but a dream at the time. It also seemed I hadn't remembered who Flemeth was or I probably wouldn't have called her a batty old hag openly. That was a recipe for disaster. As I am sure I was about to see.

The woman, who I now knew was Flemeth, barked out a hearty laugh. Her eyes closed halfway, the wrinkles around her mouth becoming more prominent as her chest shook. I got the feeling that she was probably only laughing because the thought that some impudent little girl, aka me, would care to insult a powerful woman such as she so casually. I stood there watching the memory with horror clearly written on my face, dread settling in my stomach.

_I was such a fucking idiot._

"Can I go home now?" I asked as I itched the inside of my ear with a bored expression on my face. No, please shut up. Don't –

"Oh, no. I have much more in store for you, little one." The old woman slowly strode forth, her strides elegant and deliberate as she came to a stop an arms distance from past-me. Past-me, whom scrunched their face in distaste at the close proximity but didn't back away.

"Is that why you brought me here? To satisfy your own whims?" Past-me almost sneered, "For a God, that is pretty petty."

_You really need to shut up._

"No." She laughed again, as if at an inside joke of some sort. Past-me looked at her like she'd lost her mind and I stood there watching the memory hoping that I wouldn't open my mouth again. "It was entirely by mistake, actually. But I can still make use of you."

"Use of me … there's gotta be a catch." Past-me drawled, before her eyes lit up in mock understanding. "Wait! Let me guess. Undying loyalty? My free will? I'd rather not, how about a snack-rifice? I have a Snickers in my bag I could give you." Past-me started to sound nervous as she stared at the crazy woman.

"Such things are unneeded, child." Flemeth waved off her behavior with a wrinkled hand, before adding almost gleefully.  _Almost_. "There is always a catch. Life is a catch! I suggest you catch it while you can."

"Why do I have a feeling that I actually pissed off a God, here?" Past-me added in a small horrified whisper, "This really isn't a dream."

"There is much to be done, little wolf." I winced at the same time past-me winced at the nickname. Mythal was giving her a look that I couldn't distinguish, "You are the protector, the healer. An admirable task. Perhaps 'twas not a mistake, but fate? One may never know."

_Fate, my ass._

"What are you on about?" Past-me took a tiny step back, her face starting to show the beginnings of panic.

"Wolves thrive best when they hunt in packs." Flemeth's hand was coming up, fingers close to past-me's forehead. "It is best you remember that."

"Uuungh... my head." A familiar voice echoed through the empty field, a woman sitting up from the long grass. Angel.

"Angel?" Past-me and past-Angel made eye contact for only but a second before everything was ripped away and I watched myself get thrown through a rift and into a pile of snow face first. It was all rather comical, seeing my body sitting face down ass up for the briefest of seconds, hands sprawled out and fingers splayed as I let out a loud groan in pain.

A few seconds passed.

My camouflage bag landed beside my body with a loud  _'Thud!'_ , as if thrown in as an afterthought.

Past-me's body was no longer unharmed and lay in the snow completely mangled from the car crash. Why did I have a feeling that Mythal/Flemeth did that on purpose to punish me? Or maybe I was just paranoid.

* * *

When I came back to, my vision was blurry and I felt warmth seemingly radiating off of my forehead. The hands in front of me retreated and I saw the face of a concentrated looking Solas.

"S-Solarse?" I mumbled groggily, seeing his face scrunch in distaste before schooling itself back to his normal expression. His lips moved but I couldn't hear anything. My ears popped and my hearing suddenly came back and I heard yelling.

"... was not my intention, little spirit. I assure you." Morrigan was trying to reason with someone,

"You hurt her!" A frantic voice cracked, the anger evident.

"You said that. I know I did and 'twas merely an accident."

"Cole." I meant to call out to him but my voice came out as more of a whisper or a murmur than anything. Though it seemed he heard me anyway, appearing so abruptly that I almost flailed. Instead, I flinched and attempted to sit up. Solas made a noise of disapproval, halting my attempts, as he flicked his gaze between us.

"She cannot move until Kerrah gets here to have a look at her." He scolded and that's when I noticed that my head still felt kind of fuzzy and my vision was still a bit blurry.

"The hell, did I almost pop a blood vessel or something?" I grumbled, feeling my head throb again. The elf stared at me weirdly for a second before nodding.

It wasn't very long until the elven healer made her way up to me in all her fidgety glory. Her brown hair framed her nervous features as she began to cast spells and diagnose the problems. When Solas and Kerrah switched, it was painfully obvious. As the pain in my head almost disappeared and the strength of her healing was much more prominent.

"Fucking … meddling Gods." I seethed, glaring at the empty sky as Kerrah looked me over, my head feeling tingly and my vision blurring in and out before finally clearing up.

"W-W-What?" She almost couldn't make eye contact with my, likely, intense glare. I 'hmphed' and closed my brown eyes.

"Nothing, sorry about that."

That was when I realized that it had been Flemeth to offer a nudge forward when I'd almost died at the hands of the Ben-Hassrath. She was the one to tear me out of Earth and throw me onto Thedas. For what reason, though? It was painfully obvious that I'd simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Or perhaps the right place, because that car crash would have likely killed me. So did that mean I was indebted to her? Twice over!? Fuck. What would she want from people from Earth anyway? It also begged the question of how she knew of Earth in the first place.

As much as I hate to admit it, I was … kind of indebted to the old bat. She saved my life, even though it was kind of her fault for me being here in the first place. But I've grown far too attached to this place, so I didn't fault her on that.

Morrigan was hounding me again after I was able to sit up, but standing at a safe distance as Cole almost took sentry. He was looking at her with obvious caution, his hands twitching. It was kind of cute how protective he got and had to put my hand on his elbow to calm him down. The Witch had mentioned something about the spell being old, far too old for any normal person to have placed it upon me. At that, even Solas was giving me odd stares. (More like a calculating glare. Why did he always give me those?)

To which I'd only shook my head and told her I didn't know.

She knew I was lying, if the sour look on her face was anything to go by. It was then that I knew that I had made my way into Morrigan's 'bad' books, which may just end in my demise. I'd already pissed off her mother, why not piss her off too? It was inevitable, really. I seemed to have a knack for that.

* * *

We were waiting by the gates of Skyhold the next morning, yet again, as everyone got their things ready to leave. That's when I heard Cassandra and Sera speaking to one another. I was trying my hardest to keep my mind off of the task at hand, lest I have another one of my panic attacks.

"Sera, I noticed one of my books is missing." Cassandra addressed, looking over at the loud elf. Sera answered in a rather bored tone,

"Maybe check with Creepy, he still touches everything." He? Well, this is a new development. Usually it was 'it'.

It popped out before I even had a chance to try and filter it, "Hmmm, yes. He does like to touch  _everything_ , doesn't he?"

Sera's bored expression crumpled into disgust as she whipped around to see me staring at her with an 'oops' look on my face, hands held up mid-shrug. Cassandra's face had turned pink, but otherwise she didn't say anything.

"You think about me touching you a lot." Cole was sitting atop his own horse as I stood next to Skittles. My eyes slowly widened as I turned to look at him hesitantly. Oh … my ….

"T-That's … true." My shoulders slumped, a defeated look on my face. Lying was futile.

"Don't worry. I think about touching you a lot, too."

Did it just get warm outside or was it just me?

Somewhere in the background Sera was making gagging noises as she walked away from us.

* * *

Mari and Calpernia were the two people on my shit-list, at that moment. I would find them and make them regret ever deciding to mess with my sister. To take her from me. To harm her. Lavellan had sat down at some point as we made our trek toward the Arbor Wilds and explained to me the situation. How Angel and Eren had gotten abducted and just who had been behind it.

The new set of information only seemed to fuel my rage-filled determination to get her back. That was what I needed to focus on, right now.

Of course, Calpernia gives orders under Corypheus. Then there was Mari. The deceitful little bitch. I hadn't personally interacted much with her, seeing as how I was usually busy with my own things. She was a plain elf woman, brown hair and eyes. Just your average serving girl. Even  _I'd_  overlooked her. Apparently so had Leliana.

With that thought, Lavellan made a hand motion for everyone to crouch down. We were in the Arbor Wilds, now. Slowly making our way through the dense jungle-y area, vines drooped low in every place imaginable. If I weren't so focused on the task, I'd have likely stopped to marvel at the beauty of it all.

The only thing I could think about, however, was saving my sister and the sounds of battle in the distance. The place was riddled with people fighting and sometimes I found it a bit difficult to figure out which people were ours.

But at that moment, I knew that the small encampment of people in the clearing were our enemies. If the way Red Lyrium seemed to grow out of their armor and bodies were anything to go by. As far as I knew, we weren't allied with people stupid enough to ingest that stuff willingly. Unless some of them were unwilling...? A sad thought. I dug around in my pockets for a present, pulling them out with a gleam in my brown eyes.

_Surprise motherfuckers._

I tossed all of my Antivan Fire grenades at the group of enemies ahead. They all whirled around just in time to get a face full of fire, screaming followed along with angered Red Templars as they darted forth to attack our group.

"Riley, defend the squishies!" He barked in response, hopping on top of an incoming warrior that had been about to rush into Sera.

The battles were going okay, after that. Or so I thought. The worried glances I kept getting from some of the team members, more specifically Cole, after each scuffle was shoved into the back of my mind as I stalked forth. I fell into step somewhere near the front, right next to Cassandra and Lavellan.

Then we were ambushed by a bunch of elves. Everyone was occupied and I kept firing my bow at anyone I could get my eyes on. With a clear shot, of course. My mind was reeling as I took everything in with detached ease. Then came the familiar shimmering form of a rogue.

I let out a loud ear-piercing whistle, seeing the form pause as if in confusion. I notched an arrow, seeing a brown mass of fur dart by. Riley dove low, using his mass to barrel into the enemy's legs.  _'Thud!'_

"Ah!" The rogue was forced out of stealth as he was sent flipping before he fell onto his ass. I let the arrow fly,  _'fwip!'_. Middle of the forehead. I turned and continued forth to get back to work.

Only I wouldn't have to. Battle was already over.

I was so out of it that I hadn't noticed someone grab my arm firmly until I was seated on a log, staring at the lanky form of Solas as he patched me up. Yet again. My breathing slowly evened out as I flicked my gaze up to him, seeing irritation make it's way onto his face before disappearing again.

"You are being more reckless than usual. This is the second time I've had to bandage this wound." He finally spoke up as he finished cleaning the wound on my side, shirt pulled up slightly to give him better access.

"Sorry, mom." Was my dull and almost flat reply. I remembered wanting to poke fun at him.

"E-Excuse me?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you emit a certain maternal aura?" I elaborated, trying to pull myself out of the haze I'd fallen into. "It must be your distinctly feminine features."

"What, dare I ask, have I done this time to earn your immature remarks?" I could have sworn I saw the beginnings of a sneer forming, but it was gone before it came to light. Something flared up inside of me just then, a smirk worming it's way onto my face.

"It was a compliment, sheesh. You're very  _pretty_ , Solas." Insulting manliness and calling him 'mom', check. I leaned forward and he began to shift, an uneasy look slowly forming on his face because our close proximity. I felt my skin crawl a bit, but was enjoying the reaction I was getting far too much. He was still working on my wound, so he couldn't just back away. Could he? "Oh my, does this make you uncomfortable? Perhaps I should do it more often."

"I'd rather you not." Was his clipped reply and I felt something bump me from behind. Rather roughly, might I add. I heard an 'oops' from Iron Bull just as I was sent forward –

Solas and I bumped noses. As unfortunate as it may seem, that was not the only thing that bumped together. You know what they say about keeping your friends close but keep your enemies closer? This was  _not_  what I had in mind. One thing I had never seen myself doing in life was … was.

We both sprang back at the same time, looks of disgust mirroring one other. My hands came up and I wiped at my lips furiously, making grossed out noises in the process. Solas simply sat there with his arm over his mouth, glaring at the form behind me. Ah, and that signature eye twitch.

"Blegh! Fuck! Nasty!" I blurted between wipes.

"That was completely uncalled for." Solas spoke from behind his arm, addressing Iron Bull.

"Hey now, the two of you always seem so …  _tense_. Maybe you should take it out on each other in the bedroom?" The burly warrior suggested from behind me, a smug grin on his face. I turned around and scoffed. "Oh, come on. I know you both have it out for eachoth –  _gah!_ "

I'd thrown a rock at him and watched as it sailed right through the middle of his horns. He'd ducked out of the way just in time. The seething aura I was emitting was almost tangible, even to me. Unless that was Solas, who was glaring at the Qunari with an equal amount of irritation.

"Alright alright, that's enough you guys. We must-" Lavellan was cut off by Sera's snickering, her voice coming out in an eager chirp.

"Heh heh. Bet 'es got it stuck up too far to admit it, right? Or maybe she's not elf-y enough." The loud elf snorted, staring at my disgusted face with amusement dancing in her eyes. Glad I could entertain.

"As far as I am concerned, this conversation never happened." I drawled.

Awkward wasn't a sufficient enough term to describe what I felt right then. Inner me shivered uncomfortably. Sera continued to giggle from behind Lavellan somewhere as I got up and slowly inched toward Cole. Cole, who I'd dragged off out of sight for a few moments to … ahh … cleanse my mouth of Solas-germs.

"The Iron Bull knows you're upset and tried to help." He spoke softly and I peeked over at the group as they stretched and got ready to leave. We'd been gone maybe two minutes at most, just on the other side of some bushes. I sighed and nodded.

"I know, but … it was still kinda gross." I scrunched my face and looked over at him, "No offense. I know he's your friend but-"

He chuckled and I felt his hand make it's way into my hair.

Whatever happens, I just had to remember. I wasn't alone.


	38. Uncover Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They make it to the Well of Sorrows and there is conflict. Lots of conflict.

Instead of curling up and crying like a little child, my nerves were frayed and I snapped easier. Though I had thought, at one point, of simply curling up and letting myself cry. That would not do me any good at the moment, however. Maybe some other time, when I was alone. Preferably.

We were currently crouched behind a railing that overlooked a rather large bridge that lead to the temple (I presumed it was the temple, at least). I tip toed over some dead bodies, careful not to touch or look at them, and peeked over with the rest of my friends. We all remained quiet, because Corypheus was right there. We were behind him and he was confronting some of the elves that had been attacking us.

Were they the guardians of the temple? With that question in my mind, I had to suppress the urge to gasp when he walked forward and the statues on each side of him lit up like a lantern. They got brighter and brighter, shooting beams of light into him as he grabbed one of the elves and held him up.

_**'Boom!'** _

It exploded, rocks and debris went flying. I winced and turned away as the shock wave flew passed us. When I turned and looked again, there was no sign of Corypheus and the elves that had been in front of him were laying motionless on the walkway. Had he died? Just like that?

Well, if the elves killed him off so easily we should have come here in the first place!

We all cautiously made our way down. Even some of his minions that had been with him were laying on the ground dead. The only sound that greeted my ears at that moment was the roaring of the waterfall in the background and the crunching of our boots on the loose dirt and gravel that made up the path. My eyes darted around, looking out for extra danger. This place was almost completely overgrown, like it hadn't been visited in years. Vines climbed up pretty much every wall you could see and underbrush and weeds sprouted out wherever they could.

That's when I looked up, seeing Calpernia and a group of her men making their way into the large doors to the temple. Two people being dragged along, bound and gagged – Angel and Eren?! How had I not seen them before?

"Angel!" I yelled, hearing my voice echo throughout the large space. The waterfall must have drowned out my call, because she didn't even move to look. Calpernia, however, did. She turned and I couldn't see her facial expression from this far but she turned back around and continued in without another glance back.

Her boss was dead and she still continued? Why? What did they need inside of the temple that was so important, anyway?

"Did you see-" I turned and my words died in my mouth when our group was seemingly gathered around a man. A Grey Warden? The armor looked familiar, anyway. He was twitching and spasming, like he was about to have a seizure of some sort. He was grunting and growling and soon enough he arched back and began to spew this black-ish fluid that resembled blood. It poured out of his mouth and the first thing that popped into mind? It reminded me of one of those cheesy horror movies where the person gets possessed by a demon and their heads start turning around. I squeaked, "Shit!"

The others couldn't seem to get any words out as they, too, started to take a step back. Then another. And another. Soon enough, a clawed hand ripped out of the man's body. I don't think I'll quite get the image of the bubbling mass of tar-y stuff that the Warden had turned into right as a figure started to emerge. I was the first to bolt, not even thinking.

Then we were screaming and running. Well,  _I_  was mostly doing the screaming.

"Not dead. Not dead!" My boots thudded relentlessly onto the stone bridge and I could faintly hear the running of my companions right behind me. Riley was much faster as his brown form passed me up and he rounded the corner and entered the building. "Not  _fucking_  dead!"

I dove into the temple and ran around the corner to hide next to the huge Mabari. Only to hear a distant rumble that I'd come to associate with dragon wings as they flew nearby. The mosaic doors shut with a loud resounding  _'thud!'_ , a blast of some sort making it's way through the cracks and sending some of the people in our party tumbling onto the ground. The door lit up and I assumed it locked. Were we safe? We were safe, right?

For the time being?

Corypheus wasn't dead. Was he invincible!? Was there really any hope of us beating him? If he could just body jump, that was bullshit!

I sat there, panting, with my back against the wall inside the Temple of Mythal. Everyone was speaking to one another maybe ten feet away as my mind whirled. Soon enough we were jogging to try and catch up with our enemies but came to a stop at the bottom of a staircase as they began arguing about our newfound information. Whatever lie in this temple better give us some insight on just how to defeat that bastard, because this was really starting to get ridiculous.

I really wanted a nice hot bath.

That is, if I get out of this alive. Maybe I should call upon my great Ancestors to grant me strength? Maybe do a rain dance? Have a little pow wow afterward to celebrate my victory?

If there is a God, I'm going to Hell.

"I was wrong! Does that please you?" Morrigan looked exasperated as she threw her arms out. She was admitting she was wrong? Well this was a new development. But it seemed none of us anticipated this … Well of Sorrows that yet lingered within the temple. Corypheus' true goal, one would think. "Whatever the Well of Sorrows might be, Corypheus seeks it, and thus you must keep it from his grasp."

Obviously. Lavellan looked completely fed up as she ran her little hand through her rust colored hair. The elf shook her head as she turned around to walk ahead, back to the task at hand.

"You're right on one thing, Morrigan." She finally spoke as she walked forth down a cracked and broken down hallway. The archway at the end was even crumbling, even more undergrowth peeking out in every corner. "We must get to this Well before Corypheus's people do."

They theorized that his life force passed on to any blighted creature, which included darkspawn and Grey Wardens. Now why did that sound so familiar? With each new theory they presented I felt an odd sense of hopelessness come over me. Could we really even kill him? If he was invincible how were we supposed to keep this world safe? What if he decides to somehow open a rift onto Earth?

My heart squeezed at the thought, thinking about how Angel might tie into everything. She was a mage from another world. Either he needed information from her or … something else. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what that 'something else' was.

There was another battle, which I'm not afraid to admit that I sat in the back and mostly watched. Was there really any point in-

No! What the hell was wrong with me?!

It did little good to sit around and wallow in self-pity and only expect horrible outcomes. With that I pulled out my bow and helped with the last half of the battle with the Venatori, refusing to give up. My friends hadn't given up yet, so why should I? Obviously they thought there was a chance to succeed, no matter how small. Calpernia had long jumped down into a crack in the floor to trudge toward this Well of Sorrows.

Then the battle was over and everyone began to speak again. What was with all of this speaking? We needed to get a move on! The least we could do is walk forward and talk at the same time, not stay idle while more innocent people die.

Lavellan had insisted that they complete these odd little rituals which seemed almost like puzzles, to me. I almost expected demons to pop up and try to tear our faces off if we failed said puzzles, just like what had happened in the Hissing Wastes. But no such thing happened. The group was torn on how to feel about taking our time on the rituals. Some wanted to just waltz on through and get to Calpernia, and I was inclined to agree. The others were saying that the rituals were important, which I was also inclined to agree on. I was simply in the middle, following idly as we made our way through.

* * *

This place was overgrown with trees and underbrush. The inside of the temple a reminder of just how old it was, vines and moss on the sides of the crumbling stone walls. Ornate archways with beautiful paintings and carvings in the middle.

They made a truce with the temple elves. The Sentinels, they were called. Immortal elves from before the fall of … Arla...Arlathan? I'm not sure if I remembered that correctly, but apparently they'd been warring amongst one another. No surprise there. But I couldn't help but shift on my feet uneasily throughout the whole conversation, mind warring and hands fidgeting. At some point Cole had come to stand next to me to try and offer comfort with his presence but it seemed even that couldn't calm my frayed nerves.

I gave him a nervous smile, which he kind of returned. Maybe he was as anxious as I? They agreed to help, then we made a promise to leave. Not before Abelas said something about destroying the Well, which enraged Morrigan into transforming and chasing after him.

I could only stare dumbly.

Presently we were being lead through some secret passageways by a spellweaver. Whenever we strayed behind too long, distracted by the ornate paintings or beautiful artwork inlaid on the walls, she would slam her staff into the ground in an irritated manner. Could you really blame us, though? As the distracted haze my mind had put me through slowly lifted, I was able to see just how beautiful the Temple of Mythal really was. The door frames were even embellished with gold, of some sort. All the way down to the very tiles beneath our feet, which were almost as amazing at the walls.

As we exited another secret passageway, the sounds of battle far behind us, I heard something in the distance. It echoed through the hollowed out rooms. Muffled by closed doors, but there.

It was a distinctly familiar wail of pain, followed by some faint yelling. Before anyone could tell me to wait, I darted forward. Faintly I could hear Riley as he followed close behind, along with a few yells telling me to stop.

I turned the corner, barreling through a couple of doors as I encountered an incredibly large room. I stood atop a balcony, taking everything in below me. Venatori were everywhere, taking out some of the Sentinel elves that were helping us. The sun shone in and sent beams of light in from the cracked and crumbling ceiling of the ancient temple. Vines and underbrush littered the area and Calpernia –

 _Mari_  had her hands in my sister's hair as she looked up a place beyond the ravine. The Well of Sorrows, I assumed. But that wasn't what was on my mind, no. It was how battered and hurt my sister looked, still bound but not gagged. Like they were trying to get her to talk. Not only that, but her tanned complexion was pale and she seemed almost weakened. Eren was laying tied up near the underbrush not far away, unconscious or dead. I wasn't sure which.

Calpernia was standing around idly, speaking to her men and women. I heard my friends' footsteps behind me not far away, but couldn't tear my eyes away how Mari was treating my sister as she tossed her onto the ground. The teen didn't even fight back, collapsing onto her knees and shaking. Sobbing.

Get up. Get up!

The elven mage's lips moved, her face morphed into a sneer as she kicked my sister in the stomach before turning to walk away. I could feel my eyes dilate into pinpricks, taking mental inventory on just how many explosive arrows I brought. Not many. But-

"Lyn, wait! I can talk to Cal-" Lavellan was cut off by an explosion that echoed through the cavernous chamber.

 _ **'Boom!'**_ Tiles and rocks went flying as the arrow connected right next to Mari's left foot. I saw her body crumple, mouth opening and letting out a pained scream. I then darted down a couple of flights of stairs, heedless to the sounds of cursing behind me as the others followed suit.

Then another and another. Arrows missing because of the senseless rage that I was in. I couldn't even find the words to scream. I couldn't get anything passed my lips. Varric and Sera's words of wisdom completely forgotten. 'The rage will only make you miss'. I couldn't think. Calpernia and her men took notice immediately, jumping into action as I made the rest of the way down and fired explosive arrow after explosive arrow.

Angel could only watch in horror as the leader of the Venatori focused in on me, my sister's tear stained cheeks visible even from this far. My last explosive arrow was notched as I took aim, metal clashing on metal in the background. I let it fly and it whizzed through the air, passed Calpernia's head and into Mari's chest. The leader slowly turned and was able to witness as bits went flying.

The blonde woman whipped her head around, arms outstretched as she started to conjure fire. We were both ranged fighters, but even in my angered state I knew who would win. Who had the upper hand. More experience. She stood next to a small pool of water, her feet shifting as she got ready to attack.

The fire bubbled and burst forth, a wall of fire erupting from the tiles and coming in a straight line in my direction. Above it, the biggest and hottest looking fireball I'd ever seen was flying. Right for my face.

"Get out of the way!" Cassandra's voice rung in my ears and I haven't ever experienced first hand just  _why_  mages were so feared in this world. I knew, but I've never seen. Mainly because I was never right in front of one while I was the object of their discontent.

Then I was thrown onto the ground, face pressed against leather and buckles – back against the crumbling staircase. Arms wrapped around my neck, hands clutched onto my hair. The fire was hot, like when you open an oven. It slowly got hotter and hotter until it was almost unbearable. To the point that I couldn't even breathe, the oxygen stolen by the rolling fireball that crashed over us like a wave. It was everywhere. But my mind was jarred from it all when I heard the person holding me let out a pained cry.

It was Cole.

A blue-ish glow sprung up around us only seconds after it hit, shielding us from any further damage. I could feel my legs stinging and arms definitely singed in some places. And I knew, I just knew that Cole had been burned pretty badly. My mind reeled and I wanted to cry, because it was my fault.

_It should have been me._

My sister let out an almost inhuman sounding scream as she stared at the scene before her. The fire finally dying down and being redirected somewhere else. I was able to see from underneath Cole, the expression on my sister's face. Like she'd just lost something very important. Had it ripped away. The agony and despair so evident on her face that it was painful to watch. To see. Her scream turned into a howl of rage, which I was sure made her throat raw.

Then came  _more_  fire, the binds on the teen's body suddenly disintegrating. Everyone on the battlefield paused and turned to the woman on her knees so far away from me that I could barely make out how much her body was shaking. Her hands balled into fists as fire started to lick and flutter around her in circular motions. Like it was coming up from the tiles itself. Then came this weird pulsing feeling, akin to when mana was about to be used. Building and building, begging to be released. Buzzing in the air and making my hair stand on end. But … I was usually only able to feel it when I was  _close_  to the mage. But I  _knew_  somehow that the feeling was coming from my sister,  _who was across the room._

The men around her were knocked back and sent rolling out of my line of sight. I couldn't see their expressions, but I'd imagine they were as surprised/horrified as I was as everything around Angel seemingly exploded and got engulfed in flames. I couldn't even see her form anymore, only the way the fire moved – a deadly inferno.

"Down down! You need to get  _down!_ " I couldn't discern who had yelled it, eyes glued on the fiery form that I assumed was my sister as she ran forth and tackled Calpernia in a fit of blinding rage.

"Insolent girl!" Calpernia shouted right before she was jumped on and covered completely in the flickering mass of orange/red death. Then  _she_  started to scream.

The fire danced and flickered, everything getting warmer and warmer until I could practically feel my face break out into a sweat. Even from as far away as I was. She couldn't control it yet, what was she thinking!? Her body was covered in cuts and bruises and she thought she could –  _no._

"Angel!" I yelled, struggling from underneath Cole. He refused to move and pinned me down with even more force than before. "God damn it, stop it! Let me go! Angel!"

My cries were drowned out by the roaring of fire and snap of electricity from any of the other mages that tried to take out the threat now behind them. The fire that cloaked her only seemed to get larger and larger. Lavellan and the others had enough sense to huddle closely and try to keep low to wait it out.

Then I heard hissing and sizzling, followed by the quieting of one of the screams. Everything stopped. It was so quiet that the only thing I could hear was the slight crackle and spit of something seemingly on fire. Multiple things, to be exact. That's when Cole let me go, his face set into a frown. I sat up shakily and was greeted with the sight of Cassandra stomping up toward the scene with her sword drawn.

My eyes flicked between Cole and Angel, both of whom I was equally worried about. Cole had a rather pained expression on his face, singed ends of hair peeking through from underneath his hat.

Angel was on the ground in a fetal position puking her guts out, face pale as she shook. Though she was still in the same condition she'd been in before her little outburst. It was – oh Gods. The smell that invaded my nose right then made me gag and I looked away, realizing that the burnt heaps that I'd seen in my peripheral was probably Calpernia and the rest of her men.

"W-What-"

"She will be fine." Was all the Seeker had to say before she approached Angel warily, sword still at the ready with a concentrated look on her face.

My shoulders shook as I took in the scene, the tiled floor now charred and splotched – the only reminder of the magical battle that had just occurred. However short it may have been. Smoke and steam billowed up toward the caved in ceiling of the temple and any of the trees and underbrush that had been next to Angel at the time were shriveled and blackened. The pool of water completely evaporated as she lay next to it, shaking.

Mages were a force to be reckoned with. Especially the inexperienced ones, as I'd seen just then. My gaze snapped toward the rest of my friends, seeing them slowly standing up from behind Solas. I assumed the hobo-mage shielded them somehow. Lavellan limped toward the scene with pain coloring her features, her arm an angry red with burn marks and white leather armor on her right side completely blackened. Sera looked like she's seen a ghost, refusing to move from her place behind Iron Bull and Solas.

Oh no. Angel had …

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-" Angel started coughing and heaving, brown eyes focused fearfully up on Cassandra and Lavellan as they stood above her. I felt myself bristle. They wouldn't hurt her, would they? She hadn't meant to- "I thou-ught she k-killed my sister."

"How long can you keep her suppressed like this?" Was the first thing that popped out of the Inquisitor's mouth. The Seeker seemed a bit strained as she answered,

"I can handle it, Inquisitor. We cannot afford to dally much longer."

"We will discuss this once we return to Skyhold." The only response Lavellan got from my sister was the way she curled into herself to make herself smaller, eyes refusing to meet hers. The Inquisitor then leveled her icy gaze toward me, "You too, Lyn. You disobeyed a direct order, we could have avoided further bloodshed."

The elf was stern, eyes hard and I felt a frown tugging on my face as I slowly approached. Cole limping at my side. I felt a twist of remorse, guilt. My hands shakily came up to hold onto him, trying to support him as he walked alongside me. When I looked back over at Lavellan, I could feel my face scrunch in distaste.  _Avoided_  bloodshed? Was she planning on letting Calpernia live? The woman who'd killed so many innocent lives? That was absurd!

"She didn't  _deserve_  a second chance." I stated, tone coming out colder than usual as I looked over toward her charred and smoking body. "Used or not, she's hurt too many people. My sister, included."

I would do anything for those I love. Family, friends, Cole. Angel, Lavellan and the others were all part of those people. When their lives are in danger, I'd do anything to protect them. Regardless of if it cost my life.

"I thought you, of all people, would understand giving-" I cut Lavellan off before she could continue, not believing what I was even hearing.

" _No_ , don't you  _dare_  even go there!" I snapped, my hands unconsciously clasping onto Cole's arm. "This woman was well aware of her actions and the consequences they yielded!"

The Inquisitor looked disappointed by didn't otherwise say anything else. I lamented over the fact that Lavellan was a really good leader, but sometimes she was too soft for her own good. She was naïve, in that sense. Though it seemed to be growing less and less with each day. She always thought people could change for the better, no matter how evil they were.

I was inclined to agree. Some people. But not all. In a perfect world, maybe. Calpernia was a shining example of a person gone too far. She didn't regret her actions at all.

"Cole?" I tried to temper the rage that simmered at the fact that the Inquisitor was trying to get Cole to side with her.

"Calpernia hurt people. Too many people. We should have punished her." He looked over at the charred heap too, and looked almost disappointed that she was already dead. "It's okay now, she's dead. She can't hurt people anymore."

That's when Abelas and Morrigan decided to grace us with their fleeting presence, effectively killing the conversation right there.

* * *

Okay, let me get this straight. This thing is guarded by a secret army of immortal elves called the Sentinels. Called the Well of  _Sorrows_. There is a  _price_  to be paid if you drink from it and they still want to –

"Oh hell no. I wouldn't touch that thing with a ten foot stick, if I were you." It came out of my mouth before I could filter it. I felt my face burn as the Inquisitor stopped speaking and turned to me curiously. Well, might as well explain myself. To be fair, she  _had_  been asking for opinions. "Power like that should not be granted to mere mortals and perhaps we should have just allowed Abelas to destroy it. He is right, it is better to be lost than to be given to those that do not deserve it."

"Do not listen to her, she has no idea what she speaks of." Morrigan glared at me and it took almost all I had not to shrivel underneath her steely gaze.

"Would you rather be bound to the whims of a mad-God?" I voiced, surprised at how the shakiness was kept from my tone. Must have been the anger seeping in.

"Mad? I said nothing of mad." The Witch's brows rose at my seemingly odd statement, "You speak of a Goddess who no longer exists, if she ever did."

"What if I told you that she does, indeed, exist? You are a  _mother_ , you would risk being bound to the whims of some unknown entity? Do you realize the implications?!" I sounded incredulous. She was as mad as they come.

Technically she was still alive, though through Flemeth. I think. It was just speculation, on my part. I had an itching feeling in the back of my mind that if I mentioned a certain someone's mother, she would likely burn me to a charred crisp for knowing something I shouldn't.

"Do not try to play me for a fool, girl!" She hissed, looking down on me and I could not help but return the look. "I alone have the training to make use of this. Studied the oldest lore, delved into mysteries which one could only dream of!"

"Then perhaps  _I_  should be the one to drink." Lavellan spoke up, obviously having heard my statement about Morrigan being a mother, and the Witch snapped her attention toward the elf in response.

"That is not a risk you can afford. You lead the Inquisition." Morrigan reasoned and I felt my fists clench. What about Kieran? It wasn't just  _her_  that she risks if she drank from the Well! Not even I was completely sure of Flemeth's plans and this could only –  _would_  only make things that much worse.

"And  _you_  are willing to take that risk, Morrigan? Did you not hear-" I spoke swiftly but she cut me off before I could continue.

"I heard you just fine." Morrigan snapped and they continued to debate over who should be the one to attain the knowledge from the Well. This was stupid! We should have just allowed the elf to destroy it.

I heard Angel whisper something underneath her breath, her brown eyes still wide and frantic as she stared down at the clear pool of water. Her complexion hadn't gotten any better. If anything at all, she looked even more sick. Almost like she needed to puke. "Do it. Do it. I-I … _have_  to...b-before he-"

"Angel?" I asked in a soft tone, still unsure of her mental state. Cassandra stood positioned behind her, likely suppressing her magic in some way shape or form. Angel's face was still pale, but she shook as she made eye contact with me. That was when I noticed the built up tears in her eyes.

"If he gets it, they're in danger. They're all going to die." Was her swift and almost hysterical statement. When she took a step forward, I realized what she was trying to do and lunged for her. I latched onto her and she screamed into my face, eyes wide with horror. "W-We  _can't!_ _We can't let him!_ _"_

I heard many things at that point, shouts and cries of shock and disbelief.

"What has gotten into you, Angel!?" Was all I could get out, seeing a few of the others come over to help me restrain my sister.

For a frail human woman, she really could hold her own. The Seeker had her hands on the teen's shoulders but she still managed to push me around as I tried to keep her away from the Well. I heard Lavellan and Morrigan talking in quick snippy tones. This was getting out of hand.

They could not, however, make a decision quick enough.

 _Why_ , you say?

Amidst the scuffle we were in, my foot had come a bit too close to the ledge and I was sent careening backwards. I was able to see the horrified looks on a few of their faces, namely Angel and Cassandra, right before I was submerged into the water.

As soon as I hit the surface, I had no time to even take a breath before I went under. My brown eyes flew open in alarm, inhaling as I met the water's cool embrace. The crisp substance sloshed around my face and got into my ears, sending my rusty hair floating into my face in squiggly waves. Surprisingly, I found that I could breathe.

 _'Why are you here?'_  It sounded like it was right next to my ear as I stared blankly up at the ceiling. Bubbles floated by my vision. Why was I here? Why did I come here? Why –

To protect the people I cared about. My sister, my friends. My family. My lo-

I would do any..th _in-_

Everything went still and I could have sworn for a split second I was standing somewhere, though I knew not where, a woman with white hair shaped into horns turned to look at me with a small knowing smile on her face.

 _Flemeth._  My mind provided and I saw her nod minutely, as if answering my call.

But when I blinked, she was gone. But the imprint of her bright yellow eyes was burned into the back of my eyelids and it felt as though I could still  _see_  them. Like she was  _watching_  me.

My vision blinked in and out, the view of the ceiling of the temple – vines overgrown and ceiling chipping away. Then it was like everything hazed over and I was watching people talk, humans and elves, as they stood in front of a lake somewhere. Oddly enough, that lake looked so … familiar. So achingly familiar I wanted to cry and reach out to it.

The people were dressed in animal skins with beaded necklaces –  _oh_. Those were my  _ancestors_  I was seeing. I knew, because of pictures I'd once seen in textbooks from our Tribal College and from museums that were near the Reservation. Right. Well, this was certainly awkward. Especially since said ancestors were speaking to  _elves_. How in the hell were elves even there in the first place?!

As if answering my question, the vision flipped and showed many people working on pyramids. Humans as slaves and being used to build things. More 'visions' flickered by, from other ancient civilizations on Earth that I couldn't seem to name at the top of my head. Always with the elves. At first it was the elves yelling and telling the humans what to do. The elves standing  _above_  the humans on Earth.

But what stood out most was the  _war_  that ensued. The  _rebellion_. Elves warring and killing humans. Humans killing elves. So far back in time that they still used simple tools. The death was making me nauseous. That's when they stopped so abruptly I could have sworn I got hit in the head with a brick.

Then something dawned on me, like a flipping of a switch. A light turning on.

_Our worlds have met before._

Then came the pain. My head felt like it was going to burst and my mouth opened as I let out a soundless scream. The only thing that could come out was a rasp as I flew into a seated position, hands flying into my hair as I buried my head between my knees.

I was back in the temple, staring at the tiles of the bottom of the Well underneath my boots. There was no water, as if it'd disappeared somehow. It was then that I realized how much complete and utter bullshit this situation was. I'd consumed the knowledge and I couldn't help but  _ **feel**_  like I'd been duped somehow.

" _That was cheap as hell!"_  I yelled defiantly as I slowly regained myself, not knowing that my words came out in an entirely different language. One that I, somehow, understood.  _"No. No no. This isn't happening."_

" _Calm down and breath."_  I heard and I blinked away some stray water that had gotten in my eye (I swear, that's all it was). I peered up cautiously, seeing Cole and Solas kneeling before me. It baffled me that Solas would even care enough to come up and check on me, but from the perturbed and slightly irritated look on his face, that thought was dashed aside. What crawled up his butt?

"Calm.  _Calm?! How can I be calm-_ " My head throbbed and I heard faint whispering, like someone was trying to talk to me from behind thick glass. Multiple someones. I couldn't make any of it out. None. Nada. Zilch.  _"Fuc_ k.  _Now I've gone crazy."_

I received possibly the most pitying look from Solas I'd ever seen. Any emotion was usually masked from his face, but I knew that expression all too well.

"Please make it stop." I whimpered. That time my voice came out in English, then I heard Eren's frantic yells. He was alive?

"Fenedhis, run! You guys can't be here!" He screeched, his battered form barely holding himself up as it was. It seemed as though some of his hair was missing, as if it'd been pulled out. Angel stood beside him, Cassandra keeping an eye on her. Then I saw what was beyond the frenzied dalish elf.

Corypheus. The door slammed from behind him and I heard his enraged cry even from as far away as we were.

"Shit!" I shrieked, forcing myself into a standing position. The others seemed to share my sentiment and that's when the mirror on the far end of the Well lit up in a blue glow. An Eluvian! The same Eluvian we could use to escape in.

I stood near the mirror and turned to look behind me, expecting to see my sister and Eren. But they were still near the staircase on the other side of the Well.

"Come on!" I yelled, the three of us being the only ones left behind. Corypheus' form slowly inched closer and closer. I felt the dread slowly creeping up on me, as the chances of my sister and her lover getting out of this alive slowly dwindled.

Then I saw Angel's expression as she looked up at Eren, hair shifting out of her face. Determination, brown eyes hard and fierce. Like she'd found her resolve as her arms, as if in slow motion, lifted in front of her body toward the dalish elf.

"I can't run away anymore!" She called, the air in front of her shifting. The elf was lifted off the ground and she twisted her body, sending the frail elf sailing through the air. Toward me.

His body connected with mine, sending me flying backward and through the mirror with the young elven man in tow. The last thing I saw before I went through the mirror was a form right next to Angel emerging from the Well. We rolled, in a tangled heap of limbs, as we slowly came to a stop between the small party we'd brought to the temple.

The Eluvian was no longer alight as I scrambled into a crouched position and my palms were pressed flat against it. It wouldn't move. Wouldn't light up. Wouldn't let me through. Angel was still-

"Angel, you idiot!" My voice cracked, unbelieving. My fists pounded against it, a futile effort. "Fuck fuck  _fuck!"_

She was just  _there_. With us! Safe! This wasn't-

"Vhenan!" Eren shared my thoughts, it seemed. I felt a tugging as I was forced up so that we could run to safety. We had to keep moving. Keep going.

Even if that meant moving on without my sister.

* * *

"Do most mages look so … drained after using spells?" I murmured to Eren as we stood in the room back at Skyhold that held the Eluvian. I remembered the deteriorating state of my sister back in the temple.

It hurt to think about and I almost didn't want to ask, but my morbid curiosity was what kept me going. The others were speaking in hushed tones to one another. On what? I didn't know. I could only think about what had just happened minutes ago.

"Back in Redcliffe, when she defended herself from those men. She was in a similar state." Eren's voice sounded just as put out as mine, almost dull. "For days she couldn't move because of how sick she got. That's gotten better over time, though."

I nodded solemnly, following the others as they began to exit.

"Are mages supposed to be able to …  _cloak_  themselves in fire like that?" Lavellan sounded incredibly concerned, cradling her burnt arm as we exited the room where the Eluvian resided. I could only stare forward blankly, registering their voices only faintly.

"I have never seen that happen, no. Not like that, anyway. Experienced mages are able to conjure firestorms and take out mass amounts of enemies, but … Angel is not  _experienced_." Cassandra explained, only to continue in a much harsher tone. "Maybe she is an abomina-"

"Also take into consideration we are not even  _from_  here. It is an unknown variable." I spoke in confidence, eyes slowly coming up and making contact with Lavellan's. "Please do not jump to conclusions. We cannot manipulate the physical world like you can here. Maybe there is a reason for that."

I don't know how I knew that, but it seemed to have silenced them. That, however, did not silence the frantic whispering in the back of my mind as if to answer my statement. I couldn't discern any of it, but I winced and put my hand on my head.

"Did the Well tell you that, girl?" Morrigan was the one to ask.

"I... I don't know."

"She doesn't know." She sounded almost incredulous, "If your fool of a sister didn't push you, this would not have happened."

I couldn't tell at that point if her tone had even meant to be scathing or not, it didn't register. The words did, however, and I turned my burning gaze on the offending woman. Her yellow eyes stared down at me, her face scrunched in disapproval. I felt someone try to grab my arm weakly but I'd already lunged forward like a rabid dog and latched onto the frail woman.

Morrigan cried out, grabbing me and tossing me to the side. I stumbled and righted myself, turning back around and pulling my arm back to punch her in the face. Evidently she anticipated it, because her own hand came up and blocked my blow. The Witch grunted and threw her right fist into my stomach, sending me ass first into the ground.

It was a swift end to our minor little scuffle. I hadn't even realized that no one bothered to move and stop us, aside from a few shouts. Well, I think someone had tried to stop me  _before_  I did it but had obviously failed.

It was like the air was completely knocked from my lungs as I lay there on the ground facing the sky, my mouth open as if to try and breath. But I couldn't. I wheezed, hands clasped firmly on my stomach. Okay, punching experienced mages that could enhance their strength is a no no.

"You're … s-stronger than you look." I coughed.

"So I have been told." She almost sounded amused as I lay there and refused to get up. "'Tis apparently frowned upon to incinerate those that irritate you. Consider yourself lucky, girl."

"I … I think I'll just sit here for a second."

Though I couldn't stay there for much longer, since Lavellan had come to drag me off to the War Room. They needed me to tell them about Corypheus' potential weakness, what the Well had to say. Needless to say, they were all pretty upset/pissed when I told them I could understand none of what they were trying to tell me. Morrigan, in particular, seemed to almost hiss at me as she spoke.

It took all I had not to snap and start throwing stuff at people in a fit of childish rage. The only one in the room not looking at me with either disappointment or disdain being Josephine, who simply looked almost put-out. I did, however, end up stomping off after hearing nothing but question after question that I had no answer for.

I tried and tried to listen to the dull hum in the back of my head, but with all of their babbling and the pressure put upon my shoulders, I couldn't seem to make any of it out.  _Failure. Not good enough. Could have been better._

Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I made my way down the steps and into the upper courtyard.

I walked into the infirmary, intent on getting my burns looked at. That's when I saw Cole, who was positioned on a plain cot with his shirt off as Kerrah bandaged him up. It didn't go unnoticed by me just how badly he'd been burned, if the sorry state of his leather armor was anything to go by. It also helped that the angry red burns on his back and right shoulder peeked through the gauze that the elven healer was currently applying to him.

I felt a frown tug at my lips at the fact that I just  _knew_  it was my fault.

_Do you see that, Lyn? He's hurt because of you. That's all you can do is hurt. You can't even protect your sister. How could you ever hope to protect the one you love? Worthless._

I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw, tearing my eyes off of the sight right as I saw Cole turning his head to look at me.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time, girl?" Adan griped from his spot on the other side of the room as he rifled through some vials atop a shelf.

"Just a couple of burns." Was my short and clipped answer as the old man turned to walk up to me. Presumably to lead me to the cot, but I couldn't even stand to be in the same room as Cole at that moment. My body turned and began to walk out on it's own accord, hearing the muffled yells of protest on the other side of the door just as I slammed it and ran off.

* * *

"It's not your fault, you know." Of course he'd know where to find me. Although, to be fair, I always did find my way on the ramparts whenever I felt particularly under the weather. Anyone would be able to pick up that pattern.

"Not my fault, he says. Right after almost dying because of  _my_  reckless behavior!" I snapped, self-loathing tearing at my insides. "W-Why did you do it?! Why?"

"You were about to get hurt and -" Cole paused, as if remembering something. "I am upset with you."

"Oh, I'm pretty fucking upset with you too. You could have died, you idiot!" I yelled, frustration from everything building. The last thing I needed is to lose him, too. "Humans die easily, you know! And like it or not, that rule applies to you too!"

"Diving into the water without even knowing how to swim – clawing, gasping, drowning." His words fell out of his mouth quickly, "You still throw yourself into battle without a thought. One of these times you're not going to come back and … and I-"

"There are few people in this world that I care enough about to throw my life on the line for." I may care about people and want to make a difference in the world, but that did not mean I was stupid. It may be selfish on my part, but I'm only human right? The livelihood of those I loved came before others and that was a fact. This included myself. "It is  _my_  choice and I don't want to have to drag you down with me!"

But with the way Cole was looking at me just then, I felt the need to flee rising. A look on his face that just screamed at me, telling me just how much he disagreed with my statement. I started to feel guilty for irritating the subject so that it escalated into an argument – but because I didn't like the direction the conversation was going.

"Act first, think later. Anger now, sad later. Soon there will be no later, no next time. No tomorrow." He was torn between being grief-stricken or outraged, eyes a storm of emotions.

"You're the one that jumped in front of the damned fireball!"

"You would have  _died_." His voice slowly rose, before returning to normal. "Regret, sorrow, sadness.  _'_ _I_ _t should have been me'. You_  matter, too!"

Not when the people I love are killed because of me.

"NO!" Cole's eyes hardened into determination, "You think if you die,  _you_  would be the only one effected. Y-You're doing it  _wrong!_  That's not how it goes, at all. Angel would be angry to see you like this."

I couldn't deny how right he was and the statement almost felt like a slap. My brown eyes took in my surroundings. No one was out and had retired for the night. We were alone, aside from the occasional passing guard. But even they didn't pay us any mind. I felt my back as it pressed against the cold stone of the tower.

"That's not even  _fair_ , don't –" Anything I was about to say was silenced when his hand hit the wall right beside my head, blocking me from leaving. Cole didn't even have to touch me, the intensity of his gaze pretty much pinned me in place and had me wanting to shrink and hide.

I'd obviously said something to upset him further. Later I would realize the stupidity of my thinking, how selfish I was being. But right then, the only thing I could even think about was the possibility of losing him too. It scared me. I was so afraid of losing someone else that it was heart wrenching. I couldn't do it. Could I? I can't do this!

"I would do  _anything_  to keep you safe." The sincerity of his words was almost frightening. Then he had to go and say the next part, causing my stomach to turn uneasily. "I'd  _die_  for you."

How could I even get angry at him for saying that to me? Hadn't I thought that very same thing at one point? Still do. It wouldn't be fair to get angry at him for wanting to willingly put his life on the line for me if … I would likely do the exact same thing for him. Hell, I almost did it for my sister.

It was like the will to argue, to fight back, was completely sapped from my body as my posture slumped.

"Me, too." My voice came out quiet, almost hard to hear even for me. "For you … I mean."

I don't think either of us liked the prospect of the other dying for that reason, to be completely honest. We both stood there for what felt like minutes. He seemed almost conflicted and I didn't even know what to say. Cole remained silent, mouth not moving as his eyes seemed to almost drill a hole right through me.

"We'll talk later." The tone came out dull and I turned and walked away, not bothering to look back.

* * *

I sat alone in my room in the Herald's Rest, the door shut and locked to keep anyone from bothering me. Not only because of my little spat with Cole, but because Sera seemed to keep giving me these odd sidelong glances. Not the kind I liked, either. Like she was almost creeped out or scared of me. I planned on finding out why, at some point. But I was emotionally drained and opted for sitting alone and trying to meditate.

Why, you ask?

The voices were like a quiet hum in the back of my head and I intended to at least try and listen. Lavellan wanted the knowledge for a reason, right? We  _needed_  to find out how to defeat Corypheus. They were almost unnoticeable. Would it get worse with time? Would I be able to hear them clearly? I was bound to Flemeth, but I couldn't help but have a feeling that was what she wanted. What she needed. It made me feel apprehensive and I didn't like it at all.

But I sat cross legged on my bed and focused inward, anyway. Trying to listen to them, hear them. Something told me that if Morrigan or the Inquisitor had been the one to gain the knowledge, they wouldn't have had such a difficult time hearing the Well.

It made me wonder how their world and mine were connected.

The Fade was so immense that it transcended universes, I knew. I was unsure how, the Fade had always baffled me and I opted to ignore the mages when they had their Fade-y talks. Those talks always flew over my head. But being in a different, parallel, universe made much more sense now. The stars here were positioned differently, now that I thought about it. I'd always marveled about the differences in the sky, but never sat down and pondered why. It just was.

I heard some indecipherable murmuring and I scrunched my brows, trying to clear my mind enough to hear them. It was hard. Too hard.

So … was I in a different universe? A simple enough question.

 _'Yes.'_ Was the part I heard before they went off and began speaking again. It was like the low drone of conversation in a crowded mall. You couldn't really hear anything unless you focused on one. That's what I was trying to do.

That'd make more sense, since I'd be incredibly curious how the writers of Dragon Age even knew about this world. I still was, actually. Then again, there was a multiverse theory – which meant that in some parallel universe … I was the Inquisitor. That was an eerie thought.

Feeling frustrated, I opened my eyes and glared at the wall. I kept trying to listen to them, but couldn't seem to. If the Fade extended throughout this universe, it would make sense that my world was the same. I saw our ancient peoples talking to elves in that vision the Well gave me. Or, at least we'd had elves at one point in time. I was more inclined to believe that they simply visited Earth at some point.

 _'_ _Yes_.' That one was rather clear, but the murmuring afterward slowly faded away and I couldn't seem to grasp it. Though I thought I heard the words 'workforce' and 'slaves' uttered in there. I understood now what Cole was saying when he was trying to listen to me sometimes, to dig. It was like grasping at water but if I pushed too hard it just got muddier. Murkier.

It made me wonder if all of those 'stories' in my culture were actually based off of something … real. The Mythologies on Earth, too. Albeit something likely long lost and the meanings probably twisted and misunderstood over time, just like what happened in dalish culture here. Some Native cultures spoke of the Creators, just as the elves did. There were even places that spoke of people 'looking like' humans and visiting Earth. There were some … parallels that kind of baffled me that I didn't see before.

 _'_ _Yes_. _'_

Apparently I was on the right track. It was then that I realized the term 'mage' was a very loose term when describing the people in my world with such abilities. The ability to manipulate the physical world just wasn't there. Not meant to be.

"Because the veil is too strong on Earth." I mumbled to myself, eyes blank as I stared at the ceiling and rested my head against the wooden wall behind me. A single blood splotch, still there from the attack from the Ben-Hassrath all that time ago. "Dreamers. We only have dreamers who can interact and see spirits. Too strong...too strong."

Which made me wonder how my sister – pain sliced through me just then and my dazed expression crumpled into agony. My inadequacy so stark, so prominent, that I didn't fight the hopeless feeling that invaded my body as I sat there alone on my bed. The sounds from the tavern a far away thought. I couldn't even protect my sister. I couldn't do anything.

Was she dead?

_'No.'_

A simple answer, so crystal clear that it caused those dark thoughts to ebb away. If only slightly. Of course they'd know whether or not my sister was alive. It was Flemeth, after all, who threw us into the fold. Flemeth, who was also Mythal. Who I was currently bound to for the rest of eternity.

I still can't get over that thought. The thought of being bound to some entity for eternity. It was … scary. Horrifying. Something unknown.

Angel had slowly gotten acclimated to this world, how easy it was for people here to interact with the Fade in contrast to what it was like on Earth. But it made me wonder just what kinds of consequences it came with. The ability to do such things when her body was not supposed to.

I did notice the way she lost weight and simply put it off as living a more active life, but what if her body was not taking the ability that well? Though it did seem like it was mostly irritation on her part. Nausea, headaches, and even loss of appetite (if the loss of weight was anything to go by). I hadn't thought twice about it until just then why she constantly complained about random headaches and feeling sick. That started to grow less and less during her time at Skyhold, however.

The elves were able to visit Earth and many other worlds, but I needed to find out how. And if we somehow survived this ordeal, if Angel was still alive after it all ended, I needed to get her back. It could be a matter of life or death, in her case. Maybe I was just being over paranoid and she could adapt, but I couldn't take that risk. Elves, after all, had found a way to Earth. Then so could I.

 _'Not anymore...rebell-...destroyed...'_ It wasn't all that clear.

Yeah yeah, I know they don't go to Earth anymore. I felt like I was going  _mad_ , hearing voices in my head and answering to them? It's okay to talk to yourself, but as soon as you start answering the voices in your head? You've lost your marbles.

Pretty soon I was going to end up doing something and being asked why I did it. 'Oh, the voices in my head told me to' was probably not going to suffice as an answer.

* * *

_That night I was plagued with dreams._

Courtesy of the Well of Sorrows, I presume.

I tossed and turned that night, heedless to the whimpering at my bedside from Riley as I relived things. I saw things from the eyes of another; walking, talking and completing ceremonies at a temple. Sometimes I was on Thedas. Sometimes I was on Earth. Most of the things I saw were on Thedas, however.

Then it was like the world shifted and I was speaking to some others enthusiastically as I stood in front of an Eluvian. The world was hazy and shimmery, making me unable to focus on anything at all. They were speaking about creating something but needing a workforce to do it. It was all hazy and not everything seemed to come through. It was like it would randomly fast forward, then pause. Then it would jump around to another vision. I had no control over it.

Faces, men and women, passed by and it felt like my head was going to explode. It hurt. It hurt. Most of the faces were elves and it was starting to make me feel kind of left out. Why were there no humans on Thedas in these memories?

 _'When Elvhenan was first founded, there were no humans on Thedas.'_ It almost sounded like a jumble of words at first, but my brain was able to piece it together. Not counting the fact that it was in another damn language.

"But … then how did humans arrive on Thedas?" As if on cue, my vision was flooded with images of war and strife. Humans again, rebelling and fighting. Driving them off. It paused right as a human was about to cut an elf down, their faces a mask of sheer hate. Rage.

 _'From the North … 4,500 after – Arlathan. Hostility.'_ At least it was easier to hear when I was dreaming. Wait I was dreaming?

"No no no wait!" I called as I flew into a seated position, eyes wide as my heart thudded relentlessly against my chest. Riley huffed from his spot at my feet on my bed. I blinked a few times to clear the grogginess from my eyes and groaned.

Well, at least I got one thing out of that. Now I can tell Lavellan how to defeat Corypheus.

* * *

I stepped out of my room, hearing the door click shut and Riley slowly made his way down the staircase (probably to seek out food). Sera was leaning over the railing just outside of her room watching people below and when she looked up, our eyes met. I was slowly descending the steps when her nose crinkled and she turned away to walk into her room. I bristled, wondering what the hell I'd done to get on her bad side.

Intent on finding out, I strode toward her room. The door was still cracked, the morning sun peeking through and hitting the floorboards just outside the frame.

"Sera-" I froze in place, coming face to face – er – face to  _arrow_  with her bow. She was pointing the thing at me with a look of fear on her features.

"About that Mythal, stuff." I barely registered her words, never thinking that she'd be aiming that thing at me like that. Especially not with that look on her face. I stumbled back, my mouth open and I couldn't seem to get anything out. "Oy! Ya gonna answer, or wha'?"

It stung.

"Are you going to shoot me?!  _Do it already!"_  I yelled, hearing the voices from downstairs quiet down. Sera even flinched and my eyes felt kind of itchy. "Why the fuck not, right? I mean Cole is already angry at me. Leliana, Cullen, Morrigan – why not you? Hey? Could you perhaps tell me what the hell I did wrong? Common decency, and all." I paused, "Oh wait, we're beyond that. Because you're pointing your  _fucking bow_. At my  _fucking face!"_

"Alright, hey! I get it, yeah? You're you, and all." She squinted and lowered her bow, looking at me almost warily.

"What does that even mean?!" My voice squeaked, eyes wild. I was beyond livid. Footsteps could be heard coming up the staircase but I paid them no heed, "You'd think if there was a problem, you could just … I don't know. Talk to me instead of getting all arrow-happy?!"

"You fell into the  _Well of Sorrows_ , someone had to do something. That shite ain't righ'! What if you were a  _demon?"_  The loud elf tried to explain, her head shaking as she set the thing down. Before I could lash out again, I felt hands being placed on my shoulders as I was yanked back.

"What's goin' on here?" Krem's voice floated from behind me and I tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

"Nothing. We're done." Was all I could say before I turned around and stomped off, for the third time in the last 24 hours. Though I had an itching feeling that's not where my shit luck was going to end, today.

I made my way toward the main hall of Skyhold, my stride angry as an irritated expression imprinted itself onto my face. I didn't have to look long, because Varric had pointed me into the rotunda. Apparently Lavellan and Solas were having their breakfast together there. Huh.

"Look, Screech. You know you can talk to me, right?" The dwarf spoke up right as I was about to open the door. The torch crackled and illuminated the area in a warm glow. I tilted my head as if in question. Did I seriously seem that angry? "I know you and the Kid are …  _upset_  with one another. You both have that look on your faces. Does it have to do with what happened between you and Chuckles?"

I blinked, taken aback. "W-What?"

"You know how he is. His speech is so chopped up and filled with cryptic sayings, this and that. But what I did understand was that he's afraid you'll be gone. That you'll leave." Something in his gaze seemed to harden and I turned toward him, my scowl deepening. "I know it's probably difficult adjusting to the world but—"

"Varric, what are you suggesting?" I dared him to continue.

"That you and … Chuckles." He paused, taking in my expression before shaking his head solemnly. Which was still that of irritation, "Kissed. Andraste's tits, you guys kissed. I thought you hated-"

"I would never willingly kiss that bald asshole!" I blurted and I could feel my face turning green, I swear to God. Sera! That bitch! It didn't help that she pissed me off just minutes ago and I didn't take her rumors as a joke. Simply- "Ugh!"

I threw up my hands and turned sharply, marching toward the rotunda. I collided with something soft, my face flying into someone's chest. Hands steadied me and I pulled away, confused. When I looked up I came face to face with my ire, the source of my embarrassment. Solas.

He didn't look too happy, either. I shrugged his hands off of my shoulders and backed up, refusing to meet his gaze. My brown eyes narrowed as it focused on the black jawbone necklace dangling around his neck. The familiarity itching in the back of my mind.

"Ah, so it seems we are the talk of the fortress. Why am I not surprised?" Was Solas' dry statement when he looked over at Varric.

"I … yeah." I answered, trying to remember where I'd seen it. Where? "Where did you get that?"

The mage seemed confused, my hand pointing at his necklace. Something flashed in his eyes for a second and I tilted my head to the side curiously. Oh, right! The memories from the Well provided me with many faces. Never names, though. Just faces. And I did remember seeing someone wear something similar, although I couldn't recall what he looked like. Maybe it was one of Solas' ancestors?

He didn't answer. I simply shrugged it off as his standoffish behavior and made my way around him toward Lavellan. I had some things to explain to her about a certain someone's dragon.


	39. Strife *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they meet Flemeth and Cole 'takes care' of Lyn. Also shit goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~*~*~ Mature scene marked – skip to next break if you don't want to see it.

I'd ended up following Lavellan out toward the Herald's Rest. She'd commented offhandedly that she needed to speak with someone there.

"Corypheus' dragon isn't an archdemon." Was how I started off as we entered the tavern. The elf turned to look at me curiously, "I've been having dreams. Shitty dreams. But dreams. I remember them and that's how I was able to gain that knowledge."

We came to a stop right next to the table that Iron Bull was usually stationed at. Sera and some of the Chargers lingered nearby, their conversation dull noise in the background as I listened to the Inquisitor.

"What do you mean it's not an archdemon?" I heard Iron Bull ask and I shook my head, attention immediately diverted. Alright, so private conversations in a tavern is a no-go. We all needed to know, anyway. Might as well get the word out.

"Well, he just invested his power into it." I elaborated and shrugged, though my eyes were not on him but rather the flickering lantern behind him on the wall.

"Do you know if he will hide to rebuild his strength?" Lavellan was understandably worried about the safety of Skyhold. I knew that she had Commander Cullen work on the defenses anyway, just in case.

"No, he won't." I tilted my head to the side, still staring off at the lantern with a blank expression. "But if we can find a way to kill his dragon, his ability to jump to another body will be disrupted."

"Killing Corypheus' dragon will put him down for good? That's easy, we're  _good_  at killing shit."  
Iron Bull slapped his knee and 'whooped'.

"Yeah,  _you_  guys are. Excuse me while I stay in the back because I'm squishy as fuck." I commented blandly from my place next to the table, finally deciding make eye contact with those we were speaking to.

"Hah! Delicate little princesses like you and Sera are way too 'squishy' and might get hurt." Krem laughed and winked at me, my face burned. "You can stay safe and sound in the back while we protect you."

"Call me a princess again, ya tit!" Sera screeched from her spot beside Lavellan. I blatantly ignored her and stared Krem down, giving him a deadly smirk.

"I'll show you just how  _delicate_  I am, Kremmy." I made a show of cracking my knuckles, trying not to feel awkward because now I knew his 'flirts' weren't just a joke. Oh, man. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

"Sera, would you mind coming with me? I have somethings to … discuss with you before I head off to the War Room." Lavellan sighed and the loud elf's face lit up with a cheesy grin. The Inquisitor turned to me only briefly, "Keep me updated, will you?"

"Of course." I nodded stiffly and watched as she marched out of the tavern with Sera to go do whatever it was that Inquisitor's did. Meetings and paperwork I presume. 'Other stuff' too, I'd imagine.

Other than that time in the Herald's Rest that morning, I kept to myself down in the stables doing my work as per usual. To put it simply, I was distancing myself from the others for the time being. Not just because of what was going on in my own head, but because of the looming threat. It was like I was treading on glass with everyone. The stress levels were much higher and people visited the tavern more often than not whenever they got the chance.

Which was why, that night, I slept in the loft of the barn secluded from the others. Cole had mysteriously disappeared and I hadn't seen him all day, only adding to my dampening mood. Of course I knew he had other things to attend to, but after our little disagreement I'd been left fretting and worrying that maybe he was pissed off at me. Why would I keep thinking that, though? He never got angry without reason and almost never held grudges.

I sighed, must have been another habit of mine. Always thinking things were my fault. Blaming myself. And let's not forget the crippling insecurities. I blinked my eyes slowly, looking at the dark vaulted ceiling in the barn with a passive expression on my face. The worn out wood had holes and bits of the roof missing, giving me a view of the sky in some parts. The moon was barely out and would sometimes peek through and send it's dim light through the window on my left.

" _Perhaps it was fate." Lavellan had suggested as we stood out on the ramparts, the sun slowly making it's descent from the sky._

" _Fate, you say? There is no such thing." I scoffed and kept my eyes on the snowy mountains, a cool breeze pushing it's way through my hair._

" _You'd be surprised." She turned her head to look at me, "Mythal was the one that brought you here. Coincidentally you are also the one to 'fall' into the Well and absorb the knowledge?"  
_

My eyelids slowly began to droop, the sound of soft snoring from Riley at my feet didn't seem to bother me at all as I began to slip into unconsciousness. I had a hazy recollection of the kittens (which were looking more like full grown cats as the days went by) coming to curl up with us.

Fate? More like an accident.

* * *

Oh joyous, more memories. I was beginning to wonder if I would constantly have to put up with this happening. Though I did not mind seeing some of the beautiful sights that I did, ornate buildings and beautiful temples with engraved murals on the walls. When the sun would hit the city just right, it was like it would light up and glow. Not literally, of course, but it was stunning. I didn't know where I was, but appreciated it nonetheless.

That's how it usually went, anyway. Until one time I was viewing someone's memory or whatever the hell these things were. Visions maybe? It was then that a very distinctly familiar face popped into view. The person I was bowed and continued on their way, but it was like a movie that was put on pause. I'm not sure if it was my doing but-

Then I was pulled out of that 'body' and set in third person. Like I was looking up at a huge flat screen television in a dark room. Only my eyes couldn't leave the screen. I knew I recognized that jawbone necklace from somewhere.

"Huh, that guy looks a lot like Solas." My voice echoed, like I was in an empty room. Even down to the little dimple on his chin, actually. The only difference being that this man had … hair. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "No … it  _is_  Solas."

What the fuck?

I heard a deep growl at my left, causing my head to snap in it's direction. That's when I came face to face with a gigantic furry— _Holy fucking balls a wolf_. Why the hell does it have so many eyes?! It was huge and black, hackles risen as it crouched forward in a position ready to strike.

Despite, in the back of my head somewhere, I realized it was a dream. I shrieked and took a step back, anyway.

It's just a dream, Lyn. It's just a -

I was knocked to the ground and the thing had it's front paws on my chest as it snarled and snapped, ears flattened and teeth bared.  _Ohmygodohmygod_.

It was about to rip into my face when—my eyes flew open and I was awake, staring at the vaulted ceiling in the barn. My vision swam with unshed tears, confusion clouding my mind. My body was in a cold sweat and I heard Riley whimpering and nudging my arm at my right.

These dreams never faded away, like they normally would. They stuck. Stayed. Lingered in the back of my mind, stray knowledge. Then I'd been forced awake because I was attacked by a creepy ass wolf.

Riley barked, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. I'd felt him come up to the makeshift bed of mine in the loft late last night, curling up next to me to keep warm. I sat up, careful not to disturb the other furry bundles at my side as they slept peacefully.

"Hey there." He whined and tilted his head, a paw coming up to rest on my knee. The Mabari nearly took up half the bed and I couldn't suppress the chuckle that made it's way out of my mouth upon seeing him. "I'm fine. It was just a bad dream."

Then there was the fact that I either had to decide to avoid Solas or confront him. I knew now he was not what he seemed, but I didn't know  _ **what**_  exactly he was. Only that he was old as fuck and probably more powerful than he let on. Flemeth's stupid cryptic saying. Something about wolves? So there was a wolf. And there was Solas on that television screen. Who I'm pretty sure was an immortal elf like the ones in the Temple of Mythal. An ancient elf? What the fuck. Seriously?

Maybe he worked for Flemeth/Mythal and she wanted me to assist him? The possibilities were endless, at this point. Why would he keep it a secret?

People knowing what he was would cause more problems than needed, of course.

Or maybe I was just over-thinking things and it was just someone from his ancestry that had an uncanny resemblance to him? It was not completely unheard of, after all. Though there was only one thing that could clear this up. I'd have to talk to him and gauge his reactions to see which is right. Or, I could always just stay out of it and let him do his thing.

But what if he was hiding his true self because he was actually a bad guy? Would he hurt my friends? No, but wouldn't Cole have done something? He most certainly wouldn't have become close friends with him like he has, that's for sure. So Solas being a bad guy is out. Or, at least he's not a threat to anyone.

I sighed, "How troublesome."

* * *

I was sitting on a stone bench in the gardens that afternoon, my feet swinging back and forth as I read a book. The cool breeze was refreshing and it helped keep my mind clear from falling into that pit of despair I've been avoiding these passed few days. The books helped, too. Something kept niggling in the back of my mind, as if trying to push me to do something but I kept putting it off. Didn't matter. Maybe I was just hallucinating? I sighed and looked up, examining the plants in the pots next to where I was seated. Was that Embrium? Then there was, of course, Elfroot.

I was deep in thought when Cole's words filtered through my mind. 'Angel would be angry to see you like this!'

He was right. He always was. And I'd lashed out on him for it and felt like total shit now. Cole was only trying to help, reassure me in his own Cole-ish way. And I'd gone and made an ass out of myself.

Again.

Did I ever mention how often I seemed to do that?

Perhaps I was simply seeing my ass-y ways finally? They do say the step to finally 'getting better' is to admit it's there. Well, I can see it. I admit it's there. Can I please stop being an ass to people I care about now?

Then there was the fact that the Well seemed so adamant on informing me that my sister was, indeed, alive. How does it know? Well … it was connected to Flemeth/Mythal. Nothing ever makes sense when it comes to that woman.

I sighed and slumped, the copy of Swords and Shields slowly closing in my lap as I looked up and took in the greenery around me. The garden, which was usually riddled with nobles or … where was Morrigan and her son? They usually lingered in this place, as well, and it was oddly quiet.

The small nudge in the back of my mind suddenly became an aching, searing pain in my skull. I cried out, seeing Lavellan stumble and look over at me curiously.

Okay okay, I get it!

I stood up and ambled behind her lazily, feeling the pull come from the room with the Eluvian in it. Of fucking course. Leliana and Lavellan spoke for a while about Morrigan taking off to find her son, who had run into the Eluvian. It surprised me at first because Leliana actually seemed  _concerned_. Pushing that aside, the Inquisitor was about to run into the mirror when I spoke up.

"Something tells me I should accompany you." I finally spoke once they were done with their conversation. The wavy haired elf turned to me and shook her head, a determined glint in her eyes. The mirror behind her glowing a bright ethereal blue, shimmering and illuminating the whole room.

"No, I can do this alone. I'll be fine." She was firm on her statement, but I sighed and continued anyway.

"Seriously, something is telling me to accompany you." I was trying real hard not to say 'the voices said to'. Though it seemed she understood my unspoken statement.

"Oh, well lets go then."

That was quick.

* * *

I was not at all surprised to find Flemeth speaking with Morrigan's child. I was also not surprised to find out that I was currently said batty hag's flesh shield as my body moved on it's own accord to stop the angry Witch from frying her mother to a charred crisp. Thankfully Lavellan had stepped in to stop Morrigan from getting me in the crossfire.

All the while I stayed pleasantly quiet, not wanting to bother them at all. Wait, why was I being civil? She's the reason my sister was hurt! Well … partially. I suppose it could be unfair to completely blame the woman. I wasn't sure if the Well was polluting my thoughts or that was actually me.

That's when Flemeth stared at me knowingly, "You are still you, little Earthling. A slave you may be, bound to the will of Mythal, but your thoughts will always be your own."

"Wonderful, that is one small victory." I drawled, but otherwise kept my mouth shut for the fear of something offensive slipping out. Probably not the best thing to do at a time like this. Talk shit to a powerful woman like Flemeth, that is.

" _You_  are Mythal?" Morrigan sounded like she couldn't believe it.

"Yes,  _she_  is Mythal." I reassured.

"You speak so casually to the Goddess you are bound to." The Inquisitor sounded baffled, and maybe a little bit horrified, as she stared over at me. I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant to cover up the nerves that twisted in my gut. Then I had to open my mouth. I just  _had_  to.

"Just because she has the ability to crush me underneath her feet doesn't mean I have to— _wait … probably._ " I quickly changed my tune as my body suddenly clammed up and I couldn't move. I flicked my gaze to the woman that was likely responsible for my inability to move.

"Do you still think me a batty old hag, hmmmm?" The irritation underneath her tone was quite evident, causing my stomach to plummet. No no no. God damn it!

"S-Shit. Th-th-that was a joke? I wasn't in my right mind at the time!" I blurted before quickly trying to change the subject, feeling more than a little scared at the moment. "So... about this thing. You know, the part where we get help from you to defeat Corypheus? Heh heh..."

I heard the distinct sound of someone slapping their hand onto their face, but I couldn't seem to move.

Flemeth 'tsked' and suddenly I couldn't speak. "Still no manners, even after all of this time. Grown, you have. But there is still much to learn."

Shit. I just pissed her off again, didn't I? Knowing my luck, I'll probably end up pissing off another 'God' before this was all over.

"I apologize on her behalf. Lyn is not the most diplomatic person." Lavellan almost sounded awed as she got onto one knee and bowed to the woman, "It's very nice to finally meet you."

When the Inquisitor stood up, Flemeth/Mythal was staring at her with approval shining in her eyes. She then turned her shining yellow gaze on Morrigan and I, "You see, girls?  _Those_  are manners, as you require a demonstration."

"I require nothing from you but your death!" Morrigan spat, sounding every bit as pissed off as she looked. Had I been the one underneath that gaze I'd have soiled myself. Did I ever mention how scary the Witch was? I think I have. It must run in their family to be intimidating as hell.

But that's how it began, really. They had a nice heartwarming chat with one another. So touching. Note my sarcasm, here.

I wasn't entirely sure, but I'd been quiet as ever listening to them talk and ask the woman questions. Even after Flemeth released her hold upon me I remained silent. Too frightened to speak. There was mostly yelling from Morrigan about the potential loss of her son. What did Flemeth even want with the boy, anyway? Even though we'd gotten into a few tiffs since her arrival, I still felt sorry for her. Especially with how worked up she'd gotten when she found out her son was missing.

Flemeth explained to us how she stumbled upon Mythal and how they've been part of one another for ages. It kind of made sense, didn't it? No one really knew how old the batty hag was – I paled when her gaze flicked toward me as she was speaking –  _ **nice lady**_. No one knew how old the nice woman was! Pretty, too? Did I mention she aged well? I screeched inwardly and stopped my inner monologue for a time when she wasn't nearby.

Blank. This Lyn is  _blank_. Think of something else. Rainbows and ponies. Cole's ass.

Okay, maybe not that last one.

The Inquisitor and Morrigan were too preoccupied with hearing her speak to notice my nervous chuckle as I took a small step back. It didn't help that she got worked up and almost started yelling around about justice and this and that. Her tone of voice had me flinching every time. When they were done and she got what she wanted, which was the Old God's soul or whatever the hell that thing was inside of Kieran's chest. But what was the Guardian of Mythal? And where did we need to go, anyway?

And that's how it ended, really. We exited the Eluvian, my legs were shaking and I had the distinct feeling that Flemeth got what she wanted from all of us. We went in with questions and came out with even more questions. I still wasn't sure what she even wanted with me or what my purpose for going in there was in the first place. Though I doubted that I would ever really know, anyway.

Though I did have one thing on my mind, which only served to make me sigh even more. I had a bald elf to confront. Today was turning out to be an incredibly busy day.

* * *

I trudged my way into the rotunda, greeted with the sight of Solas as he worked on the paintings on the rounded walls of the room. He was up on the stand, his hands moving across the wall in hasty but experienced movements. Sometimes he would hesitate and tilt his head before pressing the bristles onto the rough texture of the wall.

"Uuuh... heh. Hello." I stated awkwardly from my spot near the door, seeing the man turn to look at me. He paused for a moment before setting his things down with a 'click'.

"Was there something you needed, Lyn?" Solas addressed as he slowly made his way down the ladder so that he could be at eye level. His bare feet barely made any noise on the ladder as he made his descent. I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous. Especially since the face from my dream and Solas' face was the same. There was no mistaking it, now.

"No. Well …. maybe. Yes. Probably." He stared at me with a raised eyebrow and I looked up, seeing Dorian leaning over the ledge and grinning. "Must you always be nosey?"

"What ever do you mean? I am simply enjoying my evening stretches." He made a show of standing up and stretching, but remained close by. God damn it. I sighed, for probably the twentieth time today. The damn Tevinter was probably just fishing for more gossip.

"W-Well you see, Solas. I've been having th-these dreams. You know?" I made nervous hand motions, eyes flicking down at the wolf jawbone that hung around his neck. Oh my God. The elf's eyes narrowed, and realization hit me like a truck.  _He already knew_. Of course he did, he's a frigging Dreamer. He'd even mentioned being able to see my dreams, at some point. Stupid, Lyn. Stupid! "Since the Well of Sorrows has granted me it's knowledge it's like I'm … seeing memories and knowing things that I would not have beforehand."

Just don't acknowledge it. Dorian and Leliana were up above and could hear, don't acknowledge that I know. That's all. Keep your cool, Lyn. You can do it.

"Have they been bothering you that much?" That's when his lips quirked into a small and almost unnoticeable smirk. Fuck you, Solas. This is serious!

"How can it not? It feels like me, but not. It feels wrong!" I was nearly tearing my hair out at that point, completely forgetting that he was an immortal elf that could kill me for knowing his secret. "Remembering things that I haven't lived. Seeing things that … that I  _shouldn't_." I squeaked the last word.

I don't even know why the conversation flipped into me pretty much venting to him. I came here to confront him and ask him what the hell it was that I saw, but things had turned into a different direction.

"The knowledge of the Vir'abelasan is a heavy burden to carry. It will not be easy on your part, you must realize." That's when the hobo-mage tilted his head to the side to get a better look at me from underneath my messy hair. I simply stood there and took deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"Of course, b-but..." It wasn't working, "Something like this … should not be. Not for us mortals. We aren't –  _ugh!_ It should have been  _destroyed_."

"You seem pretty adamant on that, may I ask why that is?" It was like he was digging, gauging my expressions and trying to get a feel for me. But I couldn't find it in me to care, I was borderline hysterical by then.

"Isn't it obvious? Knowledge like this can cause corruption. I'm part of the Inquisition, how easy is it for an organization to corrupt because they think they know everything?" I asked, knowing that he would at least understand. He wasn't stupid, after all. Far from it, actually. "I want to help, but I'm not like Cole. I can't tell if someone has skewed intentions!"

"While one may resist the lure of powers corruption, no group has ever done so." Solas sighed and shook his head, his hand coming up to rest underneath his chin. "I do not envy the predicament you've stumbled into. You are Mythal's creature, now."

"Exactly my point." I eyed him curiously, "What do you mean Mythal's creature?"

"Everything you do, whether you know it or not, will be for her."

"I have a feeling that was what was happening since the beginning, anyway." I murmured and that seemed to put a pause on our conversation as we both stood there with contemplative looks on our faces. Well, mostly me but Solas' eyebrows were furrowed as he stared at me for whatever reason.

We both stood there silently, the soft sounds of people speaking up in the library filled the background. Sometimes boots falling on hardwood floors could be heard. All in all, it was quite awkward. How else could I put it? I was trying to remain civil with someone that I'd been a complete douche to since I'd arrived here on Thedas.

Then there was this. What I was about to do made inner me cringe with discontent. I had to physically resist shivering at the very thought, but it needed to be done.

"Look, I know I've been nothing but a bitch to you since … the Cole incident. But I …" My face scrunched like I was eating a lemon, "I really am  _sorry_."

Code for –  _'Please don't kill me._ _'_ But also, _'_ _I'm sorry.'_

"You aren't just apologizing to me because I'm the only one that can offer council about these dreams you've been having?" He stared at me critically. Hidden meaning –  _'You're not just apologizing because you know my secret and don't want to die?'_  Something along those lines.

"I won't lie, that's part of the reason." I answered truthfully, "Though I'm sure I've mentioned that I hold a semblance of respect for you despite your assha-" I coughed awkwardly, "-despite not really liking you."

Note to self: don't mention asshattery to ancient elves that could potentially crush you.

"I do recall being referred to as, and I quote, 'that bald asshole'."

"Don't take it personally. I dislike a lot of people." I tried to reason, feeling my face turn pale. That's when his expression loosened up and a smirk formed. He's enjoying this. I murmured almost inaudibly, "Asshole."

"Ohhh, they grow up so fast!" Dorian cooed from the railing and I pursed my lips, averting my gaze to look up at the Tevinter.

"Ugh." I made a disgusted noise and crossed my arms in defiance.

"Though I do wonder. You did not even treat Madame Vivienne with as much contempt as you did with our resident hobo-mage. Why is that, hmmm?"

"Why?" My eyebrows scrunched. Ah, there was one reason why I avoided and distanced myself from the elven man. It was quite trivial, really. "That's … not relevant."

He reminded me of my ex boyfriend, that's why. Who was an intelligent, know-it-all asshole that knew it and flaunted it like it was the best thing in the world. Among other things. That was something that I would never admit, because I'd likely never live it down. Knowing these guys, that is.

The two were staring at me oddly and I felt my face flush as I looked away. "Whatever, I'm leaving."

"We'll talk later." Solas gave me a meaningful look and I felt dread settle into my gut. I covered it up with irritation and waved him off.

"Yeah yeah."

The mage above laughed at my awkwardness, his boots clicking on the floor as he made his way back to his usual area to read or do whatever it was that annoying Tevinter mages did.

* * *

I can get through this. It was just another obstacle thrown at me by life. I've always found a way around my problems – found a way through them. Whatever it may be I will find out how to do it.

Courage does not exist without fear.

Hope is lost the moment you stop fighting.

And like hell I'd ever stop fighting.

With that in mind, I chucked the throwing knife at the practice dummy angrily. I refused to acknowledge the growing ache in my chest that seemed only to increase day by day. The heaviness almost suffocating. I will not fall.

**Third Person**

He watched her from his perch in the training grounds, fingers idly playing with the remnants of an orange he'd been eating. His legs hung over the edge of the ramparts as he rocked back and forth. Lyn has been in a rather jumpy mood, her emotions raging a war in her mind. Her knots were tighter, more painful. She was trying to remain normal in front of everyone, but he could tell that she was starting to falter. Her pain was rather loud, now.

What could he do to help, he wondered?

Cole never needed to actually get her anything or do something for her like he did when he helped other people. There were times he'd give her things, like with the flowers or her sketchbook that she held so dear.

He knew that she usually needed distance to work through things, but this time it didn't seem to be working. It wasn't helping and she seemed to get worse by the day.

Her stance was rigid as she chucked the knife at the dummy angrily. Her darkened form moving with clipped, mechanical movements – the sun so far over the horizon it cast a faint blue-ish glow on the world. He didn't need to listen to her to know, her expression spoke enough of the anger and frustration she was feeling currently. Cole tilted his head and watched her kick the dirt disdainfully, before getting into a stance again.

Sera had taught her, but she primarily used a bow and sometimes a dagger. She used the throwing knives, though rarely. Unlike Cole, whom specialized in such an area. The rogue slipped off the wall and made his way in her direction, dropping his snack in the grass for the ants to feed off of. Almost out of habit, he was in stealth as he approached. His feet didn't make any noise as they connected with the ground. The otherworlder didn't even notice as she continued to try and mutilate the dummy.

She was training to keep her mind off of recent events. He didn't like seeing her like this and at the closer proximity he could hear her much clearly now. Cole frowned, his fingers digging into his pouch to grab a small handful of throwing knives. He then proceeded with tossing them at the training dummy with deadly efficiency, every single one of them hitting his mark.

 _'Thud thud thud!'_  Little bits of straw puffed out and fluttered to the ground. One in the head and two in the chest.

Lyn whirled around, eyes wide as she focused in on his taller form. Cole stared at her calmly, taking a few steps forward with his hands slowly outstretched. He intended to show her the correct stance, correcting Sera's haphazard teachings.

"I can help." He spoke plainly, his hand taking hers gently and placing a throwing knife in her small fingers. Lyn stared up at him curiously through her wavy hair. Without waiting for an answer, he moved with swift ease so that he was behind her, lowering himself so that he was closer to her. "You have to relax."

His breath against her ear totally derailed any thought she'd been having. "I ... I'll try."

"I saw this in a book." He informed, his fingertips slowly trailing along her bare arms. He saw the way the hair rose as he made his way to her hand, his body pressed against her back as he 'showed' her the right way to stand. " _'Soft caresses, raising gooseflesh on supple skin.'_  Touching expresses things that cannot be said. Touching is how people come closer together."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to seduce me." Was her dry answer, though he could see the blush that lit up her cheeks as she turned to look at him. Cole's hand moved from her hip to her waist, turning her around to face him. A contemplative expression flickered on his face for the briefest of seconds. The throwing knife dangled lazily between her fingertips as she tilted her head up at him, his oversized hat casting shadows across his face.

"Maybe. Am I doing it right?" She smiled at his answer, though the smile did not reach her gaze. Cole frowned, his thumb brushing the corner of her eye. Lyn wasn't getting much sleep, if the bags underneath her eyes were anything to go by. The thought made him uneasy.

She sighed and her head turned away, the throwing knife in her hand dropping in the dirt at her feet with a soft  _'thud!'_.

"I think I need to sit down."

It was worth a try.

But then again, she was the one that taught him never to give up. He fully intended to make her feel better, even if it took all night.

Cole followed her toward the infirmary, hearing her soft footfalls as she came to a stop between the infirmary and the Herald's Rest. By then, the light had completely died in the sky, leaving the moon sitting in the sky amongst countless twinkling stars. But neither were focused on the clear night. Neither could.

He took a seat beside her, his legs crossed as they remained silent. No one was around, leaving the couple to their thoughts. Cole removed his hat and set it beside him in the long swaying grass, hand coming up to ruffle his white-blonde locks. What could he do? His blue gaze slowly trailed from the ground beneath him to Lyn, who sat beside him with a perfectly passive look on her face. That said nothing of what was going on inside, however.

He knew. She knew he knew, too. Yet she still tried not to let it show.

"Lyn."

Pop. Crack. Like the snapping of a twig, a branch. Her passive expression crumpled into grief as she sat there in the grass with her back pressed against the cold stone, looking out toward the tavern. It was dark now, the moon setting the trees and grass in a deep blue-ish hue.

Then her head was between her knees, curling into herself. Cole could only watch, not knowing what to do. He sat beside her with his mouth open, blue eyes wide as he felt the dam cracking – emotions ebbing and flowing. Begging to be released.

He felt it.  _Heard_  it.

"I-I'm sorry for sna-apping on you … I s-shouldn't have." Her words came out broken and muffled, it was almost heart wrenching to see her slowly crumble before him. "Y-You didn't deserve that. W-What I said. I was just-"  _Afraid._

He didn't like seeing her like this.

Was this how she felt when he was slowly falling? When Lyn watched him, wracked with guilt and overcome with the flood of emotions? So new. So vivid. She had held him and told him he wasn't alone. She was there. She  _cared_. It was like watching a flower wilt.

Without much of a thought, he pulled her into his lap and held her tightly. He knew this would help, as it had helped him before. When he was feeling similar emotions, she'd held him until he fell asleep or simply cuddled. Such simple gestures could aid in a plethora of ways. And it was working, her shaking slowly died down enough to allow her to speak without so much stuttering.

It hurt.

"I-I can't lose you. Not you, too. No." It was one of her biggest fears. "I don't know what I'd even do if you – If."  _If you died._

 _H_ _e hurt._

Cole squeezed her tighter, her face buried in his shirt as he cradled her. He was important to her. He knew that, but just  _ **how**_  important he was to her was fully revealed to him that night. It settled heavily into his heart and he held onto it, promising himself quietly that he'd never let that kind of harm befall her. To break her. Like Varric had said, he now had that ability – having access to a part of her that was so vulnerable and soft. Something so heavily guarded and she trusted him with it. It was almost terrifying, because it was mutual.

"It's okay to hurt. It's okay to cry, Lyn." Cole murmured into her hair, her cheek resting on his collarbone. "It's just us, now. No one can see."

It seemed that was all she needed before the tears started to fall. Like a dam swelling, cracking and finally breaking. Just like last time, she was dead silent – refusing to make any noise as she shook and sobbed against him. This time  _he_  was the one holding  _her_  together.

'Listen to yourself. What do you want?' He remembered her saying. His fingers brushed the little wet trails left behind by the huge droplets of tears, wiping them away. That's when he began to listen to her, hearing her song whispering to him. Cole hummed softly, feeling her push herself against him even further. Even so, her sobs began to slowly ebb away. It always had a calming effect.

Even though he knew Lyn could not hear or see things the way he could, he wanted to show her. He wanted her to hear it and the only way he knew was to hum to the soft tune that she sang for him whenever they were close to one another.

"Being sad doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you bad. It's okay to  _feel_  things." Cole informed as he rocked a little. She always told him to listen to himself, "You need to listen to you, too."

"I really don't know how I would ha-have done this without you." Lyn's voice was wobbly as she smiled up at him, even through the tears. "H-How did you do it? You've had it wa-ay worse than I have."

She was, of course, referring to the fact that neither of them were even from here in the first place. Cole was thrust into this world, forced to adapt to his human body and the new and disorienting surroundings. "It was … hard."

And it was. He didn't even know what he was, at first. He shifted his gaze from the blackened training ground down to Lyn, who was still curled up in his lap with her head against his chest. She was forced from a completely different world into this one, as well.

"Nothing's ever easy, is it?" She murmured, her fingertips gently caressing his face.

"Yes. It's hard, confusing, slipping through grasping fingers. Frantic, failing, falling but sometimes the hardest things to understand are … the most beautiful." Cole spoke in a softer tone, leaning into her touches. "You would have been able to do it. I just helped. Made things easier."

He realized then, it was the same for him. He'd have had a harder time adjusting but she made things easier. Was there for him when no one else was, helped him along. Cole was certain he would have been able to get through it, but they were there for each other. That was enough.

Emotions had a tendency to accumulate on top of one another. Like a snowball slowly getting bigger and bigger, weighing that person down. It tightened the knots. Created more, even. Hurting and hurting and.. and- When her lips met his, they were soft and gentle – hesitant. The simple action pulled him slowly from his thoughts and his hand slowly made it's way into her hair in response.

Yes, an action so simple. Like a hug, but more. Much more. It whispered many things, 'I'm here' and 'I love you'. Words only got one so far, actions … actions were louder. More prominent. She  _showed_  him rather than said it. She showed him many things, always did.

Cole pulled away and stared down at her. Right  _into_  her. Searching, feeling. Lyn knew what he was doing and he didn't know if it was conscious or not, but her eyes connected with his as she gave him the same deep searching look. Like she was looking for something. It caused something inside of him to jump. His heart thrilled.

"Yes... Being close like this definitely makes things easier." She spoke quietly as she leaned forward and nuzzled him affectionately, "Thank you."

**~*~*~ Break ~*~*~**

He wanted to try. He wanted to  _show_  her, too.

The blonde rogue repositioned her gently and she was unusually compliant, staring at him in curiosity through her messy hair. Lyn was laying on her back atop the soft grass and he hovered above her briefly, giving her a reassuring smile. Or, what he thought was reassuring but only came off as an almost devilish smirk. Her face reddened, her hands coming up to touch his face. Only, he had his own plans this time.

He pinned her arms above her head, hard enough to keep her steady but not hard enough to hurt. She thought about this a lot, he knew. It was something that, over time, even he'd grown curious about as well. But he knew what he needed to do to take her mind off of things, make her feel better.

"W-what are you doing?" Lyn asked as he used his free hand to dig around in his pouch clipped to his belt.

"Experimenting." He stated blithely, a long ribbon dangled in front of her face. Lyn's eyes crossed for a moment before he pulled it away and began to wrap it around both of her wrists before securing it against the training dummy just above her. Cole's fingers checked them carefully, making sure they weren't too tight. When he was satisfied he leaned back to get a better look at her.

"This night has taken an unexpected turn, not that I don't like it … I mean … er." She stumbled on her words as she moved her arms, testing the binds. It wasn't too uncomfortable, but her curiosity kept her from objecting. Lyn sighed, "Alright, I'm game. What do you have in mind?"

He conjured up the images, the things he'd heard and seen when she was reading. His fingers slipped underneath her tunic and began to trace circles on her abdomen, slowly moving down toward her pants. Her breathing hitched.

"On page 40 she is bound, teased and restrained. He hurts her, though.  _I_   won't hurt you." His deft fingers undid the ties on the soft material, not realizing the effect he had on her just then. The accidental way his fingers would brush against her hipbone as he yanked on her pants, or the way he grabbed her thigh to keep her steady.

"Are you comfortable with this?" She was always worrying about him, it made his chest warm with affection.

"As long as it's with you. Everything you do – we do – is wonderful." Cole leaned forward and their lips brushed just barely, "Is this alright, love?"

"I-I … yes. But, only if you prefer to-" He let her know how he felt about it when he silenced her with his lips, her words dying in his mouth. Cole knew that she was always a fan of the saying 'actions speak louder than words' and at such a time as this, he couldn't agree more. When they parted, she let out a breathy reply. "I like it when you're more assertive."

Any other time he would be fumbling, grasping and messing things up. But even if that were the case, he knew that she wouldn't mind either way. When he was with her, he was different. When they were alone, they were different. He felt more comfortable when they were alone, it made things easier.

"I'm trying." He wanted her to see him. Only him. She suffered, so he suffered. And that just wouldn't do. Cole knew only one way to make the rest of the world fall away, as if it didn't even matter. Nothing else would matter, only them. He would do this for her. "Let me take care of you."

"What if they-" She gasped when he began to idly trace the scar on her hip, slowly trailing closer to her intimate region. "They m-might …"

"Do you want me to make you forget?" Cole murmured, face still so close to hers. His breath ghosted across her face, smelling faintly of citrus. Gentle hands slowly slipped up underneath her tunic, his fingertips leaving her skin warm and wanting more.

"W-What?"

"Only briefly. Your worries, problems, regrets … your name." He pushed himself further between her legs and ground against her, causing her to squirm. Cole was letting her know without words, exactly what he wanted to do. "It will help. Floating in bliss, aching agonizing pleasure."

"Cole … please." She pleaded, hips rising to meet his own – the heat in her stomach almost unbearable. Her arms kept fidgeting around, wanting to help him move along. To continue. But she couldn't. He leaned forward even more, their faces merely inches apart, as he stared at her with an intensity that made her heart stutter. His eyes always did have that effect on her.

"It's okay." Cole spoke in a low tone, readjusting slightly, hand finding it's way down to her intimate area. He wormed his way underneath the fabric and he began to explore, making his way into the damp heat at the apex of her thighs. He stared down at her with half-lidded eyes, "I know a way to make everything better."

His nimble fingers brushed the bundle of nerves, causing her to flinch and let out a strangled moan. His mouth covered hers, swallowing her shocked cries. Lyn responded eagerly and he began to kiss her with the hunger of a man starved of attention. Tongues darted out, meeting and intertwining. Cole continued to massage his fingers around the area until her breathing became so erratic she was almost panting, body trembling as she tried to keep herself still.

More more, she needed more. Quivering, quaking, yet quiet. Hushed so the guards above didn't hear them. She nibbled on his lip and bucked up against his hand impatiently, brown eyes alight with passion. Cole made a small noise in the back of his throat and fumbled a little, hand sliding even lower.

He plunged two of his digits into her core, warmth clenched around him as he tried to mimic what she'd been doing to herself in the tent all those days ago. She squirmed and mewled as he picked up his tempo and he suddenly wished that it was a different part of his body inside of her. Warm, welcoming, and wanting but this was for her. He  _needed_  to show her. His thumb did slow deliberate circles around the sensitive nub and he curled his fingers experimentally. Dexterous fingers weren't just good for lock picking, after all. After a bit of fumbling he touched an incredibly sensitive spot, causing her hips to jerk upward when he pressed against it. "Nngh! S-Shit!"

"There?" His lips moved to her collarbone, a small smile forming on his face as he paused. Seeing her like this was making it hard to control himself, his arousal straining against his tight leather pants. The rogue groaned desperately, pressing his bulge against her leg.

"M-More …" Lyn tugged on her binds, whining in displeasure. He started up again, more fervently than before – taking cues from her like he's learned to do.

He knew what she wanted. What he wanted. He nipped at her sensitive skin, causing her to let out a broken whimper. Cole pulled away just in time to see her as she came undone right beneath him, feeling his own body start to shake as he witnessed the beautiful sight before him. Their gazes locked, and it was like nothing else mattered. A strangled cry slipped passed her lips only briefly before she clamped her mouth shut.

_Right now, he was her world._

They paused when he heard some people just above them, the shrub nearby fluttering from the light breeze that was offered. The voices that followed echoed into the empty courtyard as they both remained silent, aside from Lyn's breathy pants as she came down from her high. He'd almost forgotten that they were out in the courtyard, just then.

"What was that?"

"Probably the Herald's Rest. You know how they can get."

"Man, what I wouldn't do for a cold..." Their voices faded away and he refocused on Lyn, her eyes never having left him at all. Almost like she didn't care about the guards that had passed by just above them on the ramparts. If they'd even cared to look down, they'd have been spotted.

Good, this was  _good_.

Without much of a thought, he undid the ties on his pants and freed himself – seeing her begin to tremble in anticipation. He wrapped his fingers around his length, slowly moving as he tried to quell the ache that coiled and tightened.

Cole stifled the whimper that wanted to leave his mouth just then as he continued his ministrations. Lyn could not seem to tear her eyes off of the display as she swallowed thickly. He stopped again and even in the faint light offered, he could see the furious flush on her face.

"When we are together, everything else fades away. We become one; body, mind, soul." Cole explained quietly as his hands fiddled around with her panties, her eyes never leaving his. Lyn was fascinated with how much he changed during such intimate times, taking charge and showing her what they needed.

He knew better than she did. She didn't mind that. Not at all.

He let out a small frustrated sound, opting for just yanking at her undergarments and pulling them off that way. A ripping sound followed and they both froze, thinking they'd been too loud. Lyn was torn between feeling irritated or aroused with the sudden action. They were her only 'cute' pair of underwear, after all.

When no sound returned in response, he tossed them somewhere near the building at his right. She shifted, feeling a bit uncomfortable now that the cool air was drifting passed her exposed area. Lyn murmured, "See that in a book, too?"

"No. They were in the way, obstructing and hindering us from continuing." His hands ran along her outer thighs and he hooked them underneath her soft bottom. Cole gazed at her from underneath his silvery locks, stating in a lower more serious tone. "I didn't like that."

"T-Those were my favorite p-" She let out a squeak when he tilted her lower body off of the ground a little and found her soaked entrance, prodding gently. Lyn wrapped her legs around his waist and tried to pull him closer, but he was stronger and gripped her tightly as he stared down at her with darkened blue eyes. He seemed to contemplate something.

"Not yet." Cole spoke and her lips thinned as she continued her struggle, however futile, to get what she wanted. What she needed. "I want you to see me."

Just him.

She needed it.  _He_  needed it.

"I-I." Her small hands clasped the wood above her head that her wrists were bound to. When his mouth found hers, his tongue darted out to taste her. She responded in kind, nipping at the bottom of his lip and pulling on it. It sent tingles down to his stomach. He knew she was trying to break his self control, and it almost worked. Lyn whispered furiously, "I see you, just – _damn it._ "

Cole allowed his gaze to trace her darkened form, drinking in her disheveled appearance with a hungry glint in his eyes. Her tunic loosened just enough to reveal the top of her breasts. The light the moon offered slowly darkened as a cloud passed by, shrouding them in the shadows. With what little he could see, her brown eyes seemingly glared up at him – burning with desire.

"Are you sure?" He repeated almost cheekily, the same thing she'd asked him before to tease him. She hissed as he rocked his hips and slowly began to enter her. Only to stop. She gave him a searing look and he returned it with one of his own, pupils blown wide.

" _Cole._ " Lyn gritted out and his face lowered so that they were mere inches apart. She growled frustratedly and he felt one of his own rumble in his chest in response. "I swear to fucking God if you-"

She gasped when he slowly eased himself the rest of the way in, his head dipping low to plant feather light kisses on her cheek and jawline. He paused, allowing her time to adjust to him as he began to speak softly to her.

"Shhh. I'm here. Right here – inside of you, filling growing making you whole." Cole murmured and his mouth made its way to hers, muffling the soft cries that were escaping her lips. "Can you feel me?"

Lyn couldn't seem to form an answer, only making quiet noises as he finally started to move. He began at a slow but steady rhythm, refocusing his attention on the other parts of her body.

" _'Straining, stretching – it hurts.'_  But it's a good hurt, you  _like_  it." His grip tightened on her bottom and he nipped at her, leaving wet trails and small red marks from where he sucked on her exposed skin. "You think a-about this a lot."

"I-I … Ye-eaa-..." She hissed incoherently, "F-Fuck." His teeth gently pinched the hardened pebble underneath her ruffled and loosened tunic, earning a low whine from her. It was times like this that she was so clear, so easy to read – so easy to hear.

She whimpered his name almost brokenly, trying but failing to remain silent. Though they spoke in hushed tones, every time she said his name she got louder, more frantic. Pulling, drawing him in. It made Cole feel dizzy, but it only seemed to spur him on.

"Yes, that is me. I am –  _uuungh_  – you're  _everywher_ _e_." The words just tumbled out of his mouth, at that point. It almost felt like he was a part of her. Like he could lose himself, thoughts spiraling and body being driven by sheer instinct.

_Harder._

Her thoughts and desires were much  _louder_. It was difficult to distinguish which were hers and which were his. Cole quickened his pace, driving himself into her harder as he felt himself building, growing, stomach becoming tighter.

She had control over him she didn't even know she had. He was lost. They needed to be swift, lest they wished to get caught by a passing guard.

Especially with the noises they were making. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep them under wraps. The only sounds that filled the chilled night air being muffled cries and their bodies uniting in hasty and eager movements. Their position was a little uncomfortable on the grassy terrain, but neither seemed to care at that point.

"You are like the sun – burning hot with need, warm … s-so …  _bright_." Cole choked out the last word, feeling himself teetering on the edge.

Lyn felt herself reaching her peak quicker than usual, biting her tongue to keep herself from making any noise. But that wouldn't help, especially when she felt her climax spread through her like electricity. She might as well have screamed, with how loud she called his name just then. His lips rested at the base of her neck when he felt her begin to shudder and tighten around him.

That was all Cole needed and with a few short thrusts, he buried himself to the hilt. His release was euphoric, an overwhelming feeling that crashed over him like a tidal wave. A raw sound tore out of his throat only to be muffled as he pressed his face into her. He couldn't control the way his body shook or the way his teeth clamped down onto her sensitive skin, marking her. He wasn't even thinking. He didn't seem to notice her doing the same to him, either.

She was always louder when they were like this. When he was part of her and she a part of him. Her whispers, her ripples, more profound. Prominent.  _He loved every minute of it._  They were both panting heavily when he slowly opened his eyes, pulling his face away to look at her. She was staring up at him in fascination.

Her heart whispered things to him she couldn't say.

A song. A melody. Soft and temperate.

Not being able to contain himself, he leaned forward again and began kissing her neck, slowly moving to her cheek – pressing tender kisses wherever he could reach. It was so sweet, so affectionate, the simple action caused Lyn's heart to ache and her eyes fluttered shut. She smiled contentedly and Cole felt one of his own slowly slipping onto his face in response.

"You're mine." He murmured against her jaw, right below her ear.

"Yes...I love you." She nuzzled against his cheek and he responded in kind.

"I know."

They both stilled when they heard fast-paced footfalls making their way through the upper courtyard. Flickering torchlight could be seen as a couple of guards came down the staircase from the ramparts to investigate the sound.

With the flick of his wrist, metal glinted in the faint light offered. Her hands came untied and he scooped her up in his arms. Lyn was about to let out a surprised gasp but bit her lip to remain silent as he scuttled around the corner and set her down in the prickly grass. In the dim moonlight she was barely able to see him press his finger up against his lips before he disappeared in a poof of smoke.

She blinked, seeing a shimmering form slowly prowl around the corner. She was naked from the waist down and sitting between the Herald's Rest and the ramparts. What a wonderful way to spend the evening.

Cole used his sneakiness to slither his way around the two that slowly made their way toward where he'd hid Lyn. He knew that it would have happened eventually and had planned for it. His feet made no noise as he ghosted across the cobblestone pathway near the stairs that lead to the lower courtyard.

Meanwhile, Lyn was almost having a panic attack from her hiding spot.

"The kids these days …." An older man mumbled in a disappointed tone from around the corner, his boots crunching on the cobblestone. He was close. Too close.

 _'Please don't come over here. Please. Please.'_  Lyn put her hand over her mouth and she curled up a little, hoping to God or maybe the Maker that they wouldn't turn the corner.

"We were probably just hearing them kids up there." The old man continued and she heard a second person shift, as if to look at something. Her heart stilled.

_'Yes, yes you were. Now go away.'_

"Must'a been good if he got 'er to scream  _that_  loud." A much younger voice mumbled underneath his breath, "Damn near echoed through the courtyard!"

The sound of something breaking from across the courtyard echoed through the night air and she heard their plate armor shift, as if they'd turned around to look.

"Maker give me strength,  _what now?"_ That's when they turned to leave, causing the otherworlder to let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

That's when Cole seemingly materialized right in front of her, almost breaking their cover again as she suppressed the urge to squeal. How rogues were able to do that weird cloaking thing was completely beyond her!

"We were almost caught." She whispered furiously, a blush blooming on her features. Though it was barely noticeable to the rogue in the dim lighting as he crouched in front of her. "Where are my pants?"

"They … took them. I'm sorry." His head tilted and she let out a sigh, mumbling something about bad luck.

A deep frown etched itself into his usually placid features, his hand coming up to brush his bottom lip before pulling away. He could taste blood in his mouth. The thought itself frightened him as he began to check her over frantically. Lyn sat up and began to straighten her tunic out, buttoning it back up. But not before he saw the mark he'd given her, fresh blood glittering underneath the moonlight.

"I … I  _hurt_  you."  _Again_. The words fell out of his mouth, causing his heart to lurch painfully. He'd promised himself that he would never hurt anyone again, especially not her. It had happened last time, as well. Now it was worse, he'd actually drawn blood and-

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt stinging pain, eyes flicking in her direction. Her arm was outstretched, fingertips grazing his neck. When he flinched, it was like the very fact that he did physically hurt her. Lyn's shoulders slumped and she refused to look up at him, shame rolling off of her in waves.

"I'm sorry... No." Her voice wobbled, "God no. I'm such an idiot."

Now he was confused. When had he gotten that? Cole wiped away at his face with his sleeve.  _He_  should be the one that's sorry. He's the one that hurt her, the one that-

"I-I  _bit_  you." Her voice was so small, laced with pain and regret. It was then that Cole realized that Lyn was going through the very same predicament, his fingers gently traced the reddened skin at the base of her neck. Comprehension dawned on her features and they were both suddenly aware of the matching marks on their bodies. "Shit."

"It hurts, tight in my chest – constricting, aching." He whispered and they both stared at one another with varying looks of guilt.

"I did it too, you know." She murmured, the contempt at her actions coloring her tone. Cole was conflicted on how he should feel. While he hated himself for inadvertently causing her pain, he also kind of liked the one she gave him. His fingers ran along it, the impressions allowing him to hear the reason behind it.

Possession. Not the kind most would think of, no. More like, she was marking him as hers.  _That_ , he didn't mind. Not at all.

"It won't happen again." Was her definitive reply, nodding her head minutely. Cole almost felt disappointed, but agreed reluctantly. He didn't want to end up hurting her, again. He wasn't even sure he wanted there to be a next time, if he kept hurting her like he did.

The woman cautiously padded over toward the infirmary building and grabbed something, a small bundle of cloth, and stared at it with a frown on her face. She wasn't sure which one to be more upset about (her lost pants or her favorite pair of panties) as she stared down at the torn pieces of fabric, stuffing them into her bra for safe keeping. Now, how were they going to make it upstairs without anyone seeing her semi-naked state?

**~*~*~ Break ~*~*~**

**First Person**

My fingertips lazily traced the bite at the base of my neck, feeling the small ridges created by the mark bestowed upon me. A small reminder of our time together in the training area. He may not have liked the fact that he'd inadvertently harmed me. But that's what people did during such passionate times, right?

Or, so I've heard.

The books I'd been reading as of late have also helped me explore the subject, which was what brought it on in the first place. I liked it. It made me feel … good.

But even with those good fuzzy/fluffy feelings, the weight of the situation still bore down upon us. It still seeped back into my mind, when the after-effects of the euphoria wore off. I burrowed underneath the soft sheets on his bed, hands clasping his white undershirt.

"Please don't … leave." I felt like a child as I lay there curled up on my side, clinging to him. He turned and pulled me against his chest and I trembled, fearing the worst for what was to come. I'd already lost Angel, who else was I going to lose?

"Never." Was Cole's simple reply, followed by the faint sounds vibrating from his throat as he began to hum for me.

* * *

One moment I was curled up next to Cole, enjoying the warmth that his body emitted. The next I was thrust into the cold confines of … wherever I was. I huffed, seeing my breath create a puff of white mist in front of my face. Well, shit.

Usually I was thrust into a blackened room to view memories and all the like. Mainly just stray ones, nothing too important imbedded into them. It got rather boring after awhile, really. Though occasionally, if I had a question, the Well would answer me in short little snippets.

I turned around, examining my surroundings. There was snow everywhere, despite the fact that my body wasn't freezing. That was when I became faintly aware that I was dreaming. Usually about this time I'd either be watching or reliving things – I looked at my hands and felt my ears. Okay, so I was completely in control of my body. This wasn't a memory from the Well.

Then my eyes caught sight of something down the snowy hill, Solas was approaching. Oh. Of course. Once he was close enough to hear me, I crossed my arms and stared at him critically. Could Dreamers kill other people in their dreams? Would he do something like that to me? I mean, I understood not wanting people to know about being ancient. But would he seriously consider killing me to keep it that way? It seemed a bit ridiculous, to me.

"You are not what you appear to be." Was the first thing to pop out of my mouth as I tilted my head to the side. Though I tried to keep my face carefully passive, I could not push back the nervousness I felt when I was around him.

"As straightforward as always, I see." Solas was unamused.

"Look, I'm not completely sure what you are or what your intentions are. But you're old, no offense." He narrowed his eyes and I could feel my hairs rise. As if on cue, my shoulders slumped and I tried to look less threatening. "I was always told by my elders to take meanings from dreams. I'm doing it."

I never thought that I would actually heed that advice, though.

"I'm curious of what your interpretation is, exactly. Would you care to elaborate?" He asked in his usual pleasant tone, but the hardness in his glare kept me in place.

"Flemeth … or Mythal, whatever you call her. She told me that wolves hunt best in packs. Why say that? Why would one suddenly appear in my dream right when I discovered … whatever it was that I saw." I just didn't want to call him 'old' again because I had a feeling that I was treading on thin ice. Said ice was cracking beneath my feet, I could feel it. That's when my words popped out like word vomit as I tried to preserve my own life, "I won't say anything. I don't know how much that'll mean to you and you might kill me anyway."

Solas stared at me for what seemed like minutes. I was certain that he'd probably end me, or do something sinister. Because why wouldn't he? I'd been a complete bitch to him for as long as I could remember. The only thing I knew for certain right then was that he was immortal, or whatever. Like those Sentinel elves we'd encountered before. How? Why? I didn't know. I just hoped I lived. That's all I cared about right then.

That's when his lips quirked into a slight smirk, as if he knew something I did not. I squinted but still felt the apprehension gnawing at my insides.

"I believe you. Your actions up until now further solidify my belief that I've been wrong about you this whole time." He admitted, with a bit of reluctance at first. The elf sighed through his nose as he examined me much closer. "I would not kill you, no. As I would come to later regret it. That does not, however, mean that I would not make  _you_  regret it."

Oh my God, what is up with him and his masked threats? He'd done the same thing when Cole and I started to become closer to one another! But they were threats nonetheless and it didn't make him any less scary because they were 'masked'. I swallowed nervously.

"Y-Yeah." I stuttered, hands coming up in the universal 'surrender' gesture. "I'm just here to fulfill my purpose. D-Don't mind me. Heh heh …"

Holy crap, he can be scary when he wants to be.

"And what purpose is that, do you think?"

That … was a loaded question if I ever heard one. Or maybe he was tricking me?

"I—I don't know. Does anyone truly know Flemeth's intentions? She is too complex and if you find out please do tell me. It's not like I have a choice in the matter, anyway."

"You were always free to do what you wished. Yet you did not speak a word of your discovery." He disagreed.

"I didn't want to die." I tried to reason, only to curse underneath my breath because what the hell was I doing? Trying to convince him to kill me, now? Good job, Lyn. Give him more reasons to want to end you, because sometimes brutal honesty isn't the way to go. "I'm bad at this 'convince him not to kill me', thing."

Shut up, just shut up!

At my last statement, Solas only offered a shake of the head at my antics. "Be that as it may, you could have very well rooted out your enemy and got him tossed out of the Inquisition. Or worse. The fact that you didn't speaks volumes for your character."

"I would not have told anyone regardless of our differences. You're not …  _bad_. We all have our secrets." I paused, hand coming up to pinch the bridge of my nose. "Anyway whatever this purpose is, maybe it has to do with Earth. Where I am from."

There might be artifacts there the elves left behind back when they visited. Since it is from his people, maybe that is why he's around? No … wait. Wasn't that Orb Corypheus carries an ancient elven artifact of sorts? Maybe Solas was out trying to gather these things. But for what?

I'll just chalk it up as weird elf-shit.

"Our worlds have met before. The Vir'abelasan likely has made you aware of this, no doubt." His posture straightened and he took a step forward. I flinched and curled into myself a little, "I will bring you no harm."

Yeah, probably because if he did it would cause a stir amongst the others. Attract attention. Unless he was like Dexter and could kill me, cut me up and throw my body in the middle of an Ocean without getting caught or leaving evidence. Who knows? Anything is possible at this point. But I was already a heavy part of the Inquisitor's life and had connections within the Inquisition. Whether I liked to believe it or not, I had people that cared enough to notice my disappearance now.

"Yes, your people have visited mine before. Not just my culture in particular, either. Their relationship was strained with the humans. Sometimes on good terms. Sometimes on bad." I told him what I knew, which wasn't much. But it was enough, "There are long lost elven artifacts on my world, no doubt. Is that what you're doing? Does this mean that you know of a way back?"

"You truly do not know?" He seemed almost incredulous before returning to normal. But not before sighing and shaking his head, "Another time, perhaps."

It seemed the situation we were in was making him sigh and shake his head quite often. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to do the same thing. Maybe even throw my head through the wall, again. Earth was a confusing place and if we found a way back, he would not be able to search the planet without help. That much I was certain. So if he helped me and didn't kill me, I would help him in the end. See? Symbiotic relationship!

I ignored the fact that he could probably just kill me off after he's finished using me, but I highly doubted he was  _that_  evil. He was an ass, but he wasn't a bad person.

Because if he had bad intentions with whatever it was he was doing, Cole wouldn't have attached himself to Solas like he has. He cares for him like he does Varric and Varric was a good man. I trust Cole's judgment better than my own.

"I will assist if I can, if only because you are important to Cole. Which subsequently makes you important to-" He was looking at me like he'd been slapped or that I'd confessed my undying love to him. Something absurd, anyway. I felt the instant need to clarify, "-don't look at me like— _urgh!_  Don't go thinking it's because I like you, because it's not!"

Solas started to chuckle. It was small, at first. Then before it could get too loud, he coughed. His hand was held in front of his face, eyes full of amusement as he looked at me. I scrunched my face childishly, feeling confusion wash over me.

"Ah, yes. This seems to make a lot more sense, now. I see."

"What?"

"Nothing." He waved his hand and I could feel myself waking up. My confusion morphed into irritation.

" _Wait_ , you insufferable-" My eyes snapped open, words coming out groggy. "Ass."

Though now that I was awake, at least I was in the warm confines of Cole's bed. Who, by the way, was curled up against me with his arm draped over my waist. I sighed and pressed my face into his chest, feeling content. I had this, at least. Here, where I felt safe. Here, where I felt at home.

Now I could go back to pretending I didn't know what Solas was. Something also told me that I didn't know the whole story. That was painfully obvious but there was no way in hell I was going to try and ask. I was simply happy to be alive and in one piece.

That was when I remembered Iron Bull commenting on the way he was able to cast so easily. And I knew from the Well's knowledge that ancient elves wielded magic as easily as they breathed. Which further solidified my findings as true.

God this was getting out of hand. How many times have I said that since my stay here on Thedas?

"You knew, didn't you?" I asked finally, knowing that he was awake. I didn't blame him for not saying anything, no. He was probably privy to everyone's innermost secrets, it would make sense that he would also know Solas'.

"Yes." Was Cole's simple answer, his hand slowly making it's way through my hair. "His pain is old. Songs singing sadly, quiet. I can't help him."

"W-Will he hurt me?"

"Solas is not bad. He regrets what he did and wants to fix it. Wants to help." He murmured almost sleepily from above me, "He doesn't want to, no. But would if he had to." He squeezed me, "But I won't let him if it comes to that, don't worry."

"I won't give him a reason to." Not sure if it was really my place to ask what it was he regretted, but if Cole said he wasn't a bad person. Then he wasn't. "I hope..."

* * *

It didn't take me that long to get ready and make my way up into the main hall of Skyhold. We were planning on departing today. Soon, actually. But I still felt the itching need to speak to Lavellan about her thoughts on this whole mess.

Don't get me wrong, Lavellan and I didn't talk as much as say – Cole or Sera and I did. But I still enjoyed her presence nonetheless. I'd been making my way over to ask Varric about her whereabouts but it was unnecessary since I could hear her voice floating down into the hall from up in Vivienne's study. The place was nearly deserted, aside from the occasional servant or scout scampering by as they went about their business.

"It would have been optimal had  _you_  been imparted with the knowledge, Inquisitor." I heard Vivienne say from the other side of the door and I slowly eased myself into the room, finding myself positioned right behind her. The Orlesian mage was pacing very slowly with her hands behind her back as Lavellan sat on her white couch with her legs crossed. The elf took note of me and blinked before looking back up at the woman.

Vivienne turned and saw me standing awkwardly next to the door as it slowly shut with a soft 'click'.

"Uhhh … hi."

"What a coincidence! We were just talking about you!" Lavellan laughed almost nervously, eyes crinkling as she stood up and set her tea cup down on the coffee table.

"Right." It seemed I have a horrible habit of simply walking into rooms without knocking or consideration of people's conversations. My hands fidgeted a bit as I began to wonder if it was starting to become a nuisance. Not that I ever really visited anyone at all, really. Not  _here_.

Was it rude? They either didn't care or were too polite to speak up about it, which seemed to only add to my anxiety.

"If I may ask, what is it you intend to do with the knowledge from the Well?" It was Vivienne that decided to break the awkward silence that ensued when I barged into the room. If I went into a hysterical rant in front of these two women, I'd probably just get myself thrown into a cell for being insane. I'd never admit it, but maybe it was best that I confronted Solas when I did. At least he seemed to understand.

Ugh. What's wrong with me?

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. If I can help, I will. But nothing will change, really."

"You do realize that the information granted to you could help the Inquisition considerably?" The tanned mage was up to something, "Such things should not be squandered if there is potential use. One could even gain status from merely being the vessel, as you are."

"I'm not interested in status, Vivienne. I'll help but if I think that it will only cause more harm, I refuse to have any part in it." I was going to sound like an ass for this next statement, I just knew it. "It will ultimately be up to me whether or not such things should be disclosed to the Inquisition."

What I was thinking about was if I somehow gained knowledge of weapons the ancient elves used or any such harmful things. It's usually the first thing that popped into my head, being raised in America and all. The news outlets and movies tended to feed that paranoia of people wanting to gain more power to wage war against their enemies. It wasn't much different, here. The Ben-Hassrath had tried to take my gun, after all.

"You wouldn't want the Inquisitor to get hurt now would you, my dear? Your cooperation would help immensely in her endeavors." Vivienne spoke in her elegant tone as she stood, posture straight. My gaze turned flat when I realized what she was trying to do.

"Yeah." I agreed in a dull tone, seeing her open her mouth to continue. Lynn stood at the mage's side awkwardly, letting her talk. One thing I had was experience with these kinds of things, so I simply pretended she was my mother and tuned out her sweet words. Sweet words meant to disarm, sweet words meant to get me to trust. To agree and give her what she wanted.

She continued to prattle on about how my participation in giving them the information from the Well was crucial. Ah, let's not forget the subtle way she said that if I didn't my friends could die. The woman knew me, even though I avoided her like she was the plague itself. I bristled in response.

I couldn't stop myself. It had already happened.

My hand was raised to throw a book at her, which happened to be on the bookshelf right next to me. But Vivienne was faster as I felt my body suddenly freeze up as I was mid swing. The book dropped with a dull 'thud!' and Lavellan darted forth.

"Stop!" Her hand came up and touched the woman's elbow.

"Are you going to k-kill me?" I was just about fed up with almost dying all the God damned time. The feeling in my stomach and my heart suddenly picking up speed from the fear I felt was starting to get sickening. Nauseating. It was a norm in this world and it was going to end up killing me. Just like everything else. Just like Vivienne.

"Do try to contain your childish outbursts, dear. It is quite unbecoming of you." The Orlesian mage snapped her fingers and I was released, my hands fell at my sides and I couldn't contain the way my body shook as I stared over at her warily. She, for the most part, only seemed exasperated. As if she were disciplining a child.

I mustered the most pissed off glare I could. At least I didn't punch her, like I  _should_  have. Cole would have been disappointed, though. So I didn't. It's funny how he wasn't even there but still acted as moral ground for me. He kept me in line without realizing it.

"My finger slipped." Was my excuse through gritted teeth. My brown eyes snapped over toward Lavellan with disapproval clear on my features. "I would have helped regardless, you didn't need to have your  _pet_  Circle Mage yapping around to try to convince me otherwise."

Oh, right. Probably not a good idea to let my mouth run when I was pissed, too. But that had already happened and even though I agreed with the  _idea_  of Circles (they could do much better), I knew that the jibe would likely irritate her. Too late, because it was already said and I couldn't take it back.

"Without the Circles-" I could see the anger boiling behind her brown eyes as she spoke in a more clipped tone, but I wouldn't have it. I continued on as if I hadn't heard her.

"And we see how well they've done. Right, Vivienne? Do you honestly think people know anything other than how to  _hurt_  and  _use_  one another? Shit happens because people are shitty and do shitty things for their own shitty motives! Kind of like what you're trying to do to me right now." I spoke, not realizing the hurt that made it's way into my tone just then. I did notice how Lavellan had cringed a little, "Do not think me blind, I've had it happen too many times to let it happen  _again_."

And if I ever caught her trying to control me with my attachments again, I'd probably do more than just try to throw a book at her. This was precisely why I kept my true self hidden like I did. People like her.

"Without some semblance of control, mages risk hurting innocents." She elaborated evenly and gave me a look, "But that is not why we are here."

I didn't disagree with her on the mage part, but …

"No, it's not. Inquisitor Lavellan will have my cooperation, simply because it is the right thing to do. Not because of your petty attempts at manipulation."

My nails dug into my palms as I tried to contain my nervousness, knuckles turning white. That's when I turned and walked away without a word, successfully ending the conversation. I heard Lavellan try to speak in hushed tones to Vivienne. It sounded oddly like she was chastising her for something but ignored it nonetheless.

The woman had an immense amount of self-control, I realized. I knew she had gotten pissed at my childish actions, but she didn't let it bother her in the least. Well, for all I knew she was cursing my name secretly but I wouldn't know. That's what baffled me.

In a way, Vivienne and I were quite alike (aside from our obvious gap in maturity levels). Though she kept herself at a vaster distance from people than I. She locked her heart away to keep it from ever getting hurt again. A woman with a heart of steel and a tongue to match it. I strongly disliked the woman, but that didn't mean that I would refuse to look and see all of her for what she was. Good and bad. Unlike what I had done to Solas and practically demonized him and made him seem worse than he really was.

Like Vivienne, I also put up walls and kept myself at a distance. Though there was one huge difference. I actually opened myself up to a very select few and allowed them to see me for me. I also didn't use people as coldheartedly as she did. The thought would never cross my mind and it is a dirty, underhanded way of controlling people.

I would know. It's happened to me.

Most of the torches out in the library flickered and swayed, the area mostly deserted as it was around lunch time. Dorian was sitting with his legs crossed as he idly read a book in his lap, paying no mind to anything around him. Solas, down below, was doing much the same though was flipping through some papers on his desk.

A heavy sigh escaped through my nostrils as I looked down at my palm, which now had crescent shaped gouges in them from my nails. How wonderful.

"I apologize on Vivienne's behalf. She means well, but is sometimes a bit harsh in her ways of getting what she deems necessary." Lavellan commented and I hadn't even heard her approach. It was just a thing that I associated with rogues now. That and being able to do their creepy stealth thing. I stared at a lone candle on a nearby desk with a forlorn look on my face.

"It was a bit  _unnecessary_  to use my friends against me like that." I tried not to raise my voice but the tone was enough to convey my annoyance. My expression turned dark, "A book won't be something she needs to fear next time she attempts to do such a thing."

"I'm not saying I agree with how she did it, it just …" The wavy haired elf's face faltered and her expression crumpled, the weight of her position in the Inquisition finally showing up on her face. The heavy burden she had. We were alone, aside from Dorian who was oddly quiet, no one else could see her. I'd imagine Sera usually did and that probably helped with the obvious stress that something like that could put on someone.

"It's not your fault, I'm sorry for snapping on you like that." I mumbled, feeling guilty for making her situation worse. "We both have a heavy burden set upon us, don't we? Knowledge corrupts just as much as power does. Do not let your position change who you are … you're a good person."

"I'm not doing this for me, I have people that I want to protect." The light in her gaze slowly coming back as she made eye contact with me. That's it. "They are my purpose. I won't lose that and neither will you."

"Right..."

"I'm serious, Lyn. I can't say everything will be okay, because that could be a lie. I can only pray that things will. Creators I –" She faltered at the doubtful look on my face and changed her angle, "What you said earlier, it's not true you know."

"Sometimes it's so hard to see the good when all that's presented to you is the bad." I muttered, eyes downcast. When upset, sometimes that's all I could see. It was a horrible habit I was trying to break.

"During the most trying times, it'll surprise you just how well people come together to fight back against that evil." Lavellan explained, turning her head to look out the window with an oddly passive expression on her face. "It may seem that way, but we always hear about all of the heinous crimes that were committed and horrible acts done to gain power. However, we hardly hear about the good deeds people do to one another on a daily basis. I believe there is more good in this world than bad, that is why good will always conquer evil. We're not as bad as you make us out to be, Lyn. You've just got to open your eyes and see it."

"I'm trying …" It's hard.

"It's not something easily done overnight. I'm just glad you're one of those people. Any lesser person may have run in the other direction if presented with the knowledge you held in the beginning, but you stayed and you're still here." That's when she smiled and turned to look back at me, "You're a good person too, you know."

Words spoken from a true leader. I chuckled, we needed people that saw the potential in this world. People that sought to bring out that light in the darkness. I only hoped that she would succeed in her endeavors.

"Thank you." I murmured, before tilting my head to look up at her through my messy waves. "We need more people like you. People willing to stand up for what they believe in and light the path. It's hard, I can see it in your eyes. But I  _know_  you can do it. It's okay to stumble and fall but  _always_  get back up. No matter what."

I never offered words of encouragement or complimented people, so that was a change. Lavellan knew this as well and she seemed stunned for a second before offering a small smile. There was really nothing else to say, so I'd taken my leave shortly after that.

We were, after all, going to go to this Guardian of Mythal within the next few hours. I stretched my arms as I made my descent down the steep staircase that lead to the lower courtyard, the sun high in the sky-

My eyes narrowed as I heard a thumping in the distance. For reasons unbeknownst to me, my heart started to speed up as I subconsciously knew what that sound was already. It took my brain too long to realize what it was before I heard a deafening roar. A dragon's roar.

My head snapped up in the direction it was coming from, seeing the beast in the distance. It was but a small speck in the sky just over the mountains, but it was enough to send my heart stuttering to a stop. The guards on the walls were yelling commands and it didn't take long until a bell started to sound. An alarm. The people near the stalls were screaming and running up the staircase, abandoning their wares in favor of living.

What- Why would Corypheus be coming to Skyhold? I kind of knew it to be a possibility, but-

Riley barked in the distance and came bounding up to me, his massive form slowly getting larger as he skidded to a stop right next to my legs.

He-

_Morrigan's Eluvian._

The thought appeared in my mind so suddenly that I stumbled, Blackwall came jogging out of the barn with a terrified look on his face. He, no doubt, heard the roar in the distance as well. "Blackwall! He's coming for Morrigan's Eluvian!"

"I'll inform the Inquisitor at once. Get to shelter, my lady!" He yelled as he ran by faster than I'd ever seen him move. It dawned on me just then that I wasn't even in my armor, since my pack was up in Cole's room.

"Fuck!" I cursed, running forth and digging through the wares at a random stall. I was only able to find a bow and some arrows before I felt the ground beginning to rumble as the dragon got closer.

Then the barn went up in flames. It was the first thing that did.

It happened so fast I didn't even have time to take cover before some of the wood that had splintered from the blast whizzed right by my face.  _That's_  when I decided to dive behind cover, hearing the dragon screech as it flew overhead and toward the main hall. When I peeked back up, staring at my home for the passed year as it creaked and groaned. Riley barreled into the flames so fast I could hardly protest.

"Riley, wait!" I stood up and jogged toward the raging inferno, hearing the wailing cries of some of the horses in the stables that were connected to the barn. The stables had yet to go up in flames, but it was inevitable with how fast the fire was spreading. "Shit!"

I took off to my left toward the well and entered through the second entrance, the stable doors slamming open with a loud  _'thud!'_. That's when I got to work on unlatching all of the stall doors and letting the horses out. I'd gotten knocked against the wall more times than I could count, but it didn't even seem to register as I frantically scrambled around.

There was some faint calling in the distance, which sounded oddly like a cry for help. The roar and crackle of the fire right next to the stables drowned out most of the sound. The sound was coming from one of the stalls nearest to the barn. Smoke billowed in through the shut door that lead to the barn, frantic barking could be heard on the other side.

"Hello?" I called and I heard someone answer in response. A tanned hand came into view as I saw a form slowly crawl out of the stable, only to go limp as he passed out. It was Master Dennet. I gasped, accidentally inhaling some smoke in the process. I crouched low to keep the smoke from getting into my lungs, coughing and tearing up in the process. I grabbed his hands and began to drag him toward the door on the furthest end of the stable.

The next few moments passed by in a blur as I dragged the old man's body out of the door. I wasn't even near the well before I felt my body collapse as my surroundings blurred and finally went dark. My vision flickered in and out, the sounds in the distance muffled as the dragon flew overhead and unleashed it's wrath upon the fortress. Soldiers and people cried out, some of them barking orders.

Then it stopped. Everything stopped.

"... reckless …" Voices sounded so far away as I slowly began to regain consciousness, my brown eyes opening blearily as I was greeted with the sight of the sky. The sun was at it's peak and sending happy rays of sunlight down on my face, but the sounds of crying and yelling filtered through my ears. Though I couldn't hear the dragon. No roaring, screeching or thudding of wings as it flew overhead. Was it gone? "Smoke inhalation."

I coughed when I tried to speak, gaining the attention of whomever was at my left. When I turned to the side, Master Dennet was seated in a cot with a rather grumpy expression on his face. His arm was in a sling, head wrapped up and face full of soot as he turned his head and stared off somewhere I couldn't see. Then came Adan, who practically stomped in my direction.

"Girl, what in Maker's name were you thinking?!" He scolded and I strained to try and sit up. He didn't protest my movements, which indicated that I wasn't in as bad of condition as I originally thought.

But was I ever thinking?

"Sorry." Was my completely unapologetic apology. "Is everyone alright?" I winced, "Right, bad question."

"The Mabari won't stop trying to come into the tent." Adan griped as he did a quick check of the bandages on my arms before turning to leave out of the tent, "Might want to get in gear if you want to go with the Inquisitor."

"Thanks, Old Man." I nodded and he only offered a grunt in response before leaving. So Riley was still alive. That was a relief to know, but why had he run back into the barn? My mind drifted back to the kittens as I began to gather myself and stand up, "Ya feelin' alright, Master Dennet sir?"

"'m fine, kid." Was his short answer before mumbling something about 'being too old for this' underneath his breath.

As it turned out, half of the Inquisition forces were still at Skyhold so they were able to successfully fend off any attackers. There had been some demons as Corypheus had opened up a couple of rifts in the middle of the fortress, but nothing that the Inquisitor and Commander Cullen's troops couldn't handle. Of course, there were some casualties.

It didn't take that long before everyone was completely ready as they mounted up and took off down the slope to follow the crazed magister. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on how you see it), Morrigan was able to break her Eluvian before he even got a chance to get to it. It was painfully evident that he was desperate now that all of his plans have come to ruin.

Haven't they all? The darkspawn magister had failed at every turn and has had the worst luck when it came to 'ruling the world'.

I felt better knowing Corypheus had shittier luck than the people in my family. Let me explain why real quick. He's  _ **failed**_  at everything he's tried to do.

He managed to kidnap the Divine in the middle of one of the most heavily fortified places on Thedas. Then … forgot to lock the door. Then managed to drop this God-Orb thing just as he was about to complete his task and just let it roll away. Attacked a tiny mountain hamlet with a huge army and a dragon … and somehow lost. Marches into the Arbor Wilds where his army was promptly decimated and failed to drink water from a pond. Attacked Skyhold in a last ditch attempt at gaining an Eluvian, only to be driven off by merely half of our forces.

Now what was going to happen? I was starting to sense a pattern, here. Andraste's ass, what if Corypheus is my long lost father? That's why I have bad luck! Knew it.

Not.

What was left now, however, was to take down Corypheus once and for all. It wasn't too difficult to track his movements, as Solas had been able to sense the use of the Orb's power as he flew off into the distance. How he was able to was beyond me, but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

We hadn't even gotten to go to this Guardian of Mythal so that it could help us in our fight with Corypheus. We were stuck following him to Maker only knows where to try and stop his half-brained plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I've posted, I'll return to hiding underneath this rock over here.
> 
> EDIT: I know my smut is bad and I should feel bad, but I'm still learning. ^_^ Gentle reminders are life. They help authors instead of hurting them.


	40. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corypheus fails at being a villain and some stuff happens.

This must have been a dream, a horrible nightmare. Because something like this shouldn't be happening. This wasn't our war, we weren't even supposed to be here. Yet there he was. Corypheus was standing in front of some rubble, holding my sister and spewing nonsense about being a God and this and that. But none of that seemed to register.

"After I am finished conquering Earth, I will use the power I find there to take what is rightfully mine. Why be a God of one world when I can become a God of two?" As he spoke, Angel dangled limply in his hand as he held up the Orb for all to see.

Lavellan yelled something back but it felt like my ears were full of cotton balls. Most of us had been able to come, including some Inquisition soldiers who were fighting off some of the demons that we'd encountered to get here. The sounds of battle were a far off memory.

Was this why he needed my sister? Was he intending to sacrifice her to get what he wanted? This was bullshit!

Angel lifted her head weakly, her lightly tanned complexion reduced to a sickly looking ashen grey. The bags underneath her once lively brown eyes were visible, even from here. I was unsure if it was because of the torture and maltreatment she'd likely gone through, or the excessive use of her abilities since her capture.

"Angel! You mustn't give up!" Eren yelled and as if by some burst of sudden energy, my sister's eyes opened wide and she flailed. Corypheus, having been in the middle of saying something, jumped when her little hand hit the Orb in his hand and sent it rolling in our direction.

It seemed Corypheus had a habit of fumbling the ball. See, what did I say about bad luck?

Fortunately for us, he simply stared at it as it rolled away.

Lavellan didn't even need to think, she dove forward and grabbed it. The agile elf rolled into a crouched position and held the ancient artifact safely against her chest. The evil magister let out an enraged yell as he tossed my sister in the Inquisitor's direction, obviously meaning to distract her.

One would think that the teen was dead, with the way her body flew through the air limply. I was almost convinced she was a rag doll of some sort.

It's not real. Not real. No.

His distraction worked, because Lavellan being Lavallen, the elf didn't even think before she moved so that she could catch the young human. The Orb lit up, an ominous green glow illuminating the area in front of her and Angel's body hit hers with a resounding  _'Thud!'_

I watched their bodies collide as if in slow motion, thoughts in overdrive. This world and mine were not meant to intermix. It was a paradox. An unknown. And yet, somehow, the elves achieved it.

Then there is, of course, our family's penchant for bad luck. As if the universe or some omniscient being was off snickering at my attempts to understand such incomprehensible things.

_The light slowly got brighter._

Heck, why not both? I was already bound to a mad 'God', who I was still unsure of whether or not was just a powerful being and not really a God. Why not actually throw in there being an all seeing 'Father'? God himself? The Maker? Whatever you want to call him.

_It grew and grew._

Whoever he is. Really. This sucks. I only had one, infinitesimal question for him. The universe. Whatever. Just small, really. No biggie.

_**Why?!** _

It rang through my head. It was high pitched and screechy, even for being just a thought.

Then everything exploded.

Quite literally. It was like a bomb and it was certainly loud. Everything crackled and my hearing shorted out for the briefest of moments, only to come back muffled like I was underwater. The shock wave sent me skidding back, my boots dug into the dirt to keep traction. Rocks and dirt flew into my face, hair whipping in each and every direction. Then the air started to pulsate and I felt that familiar sensation of mana being used, though this time it felt different.

Not a good kind of different, because the next thing that came definitely wasn't a shock wave. It was like suction, pulling us toward the source and I felt my stomach roll. Especially when I realized that no matter how much I dug my feet into the ground I couldn't stop my forward movement.

Sera let out a terrified scream from beside me, the kind in which I hoped to never hear tearing through her throat as everything around us seemingly turned green. It was misty and cloudy. A string of high pitched curses came from Iron Bull and simultaneous complaints and yells from the others. Riley was howling and whimpering.

Everything went white.

* * *

_'….Tried to enslave the human race, thinking them as lower beings. Below them. For a time, they succeeded. Wanting to expand their growing empire and gather resources for their home planet. The ancient Sumerians took to calling these magical beings their creators. Their gods, the Anunnaki. As time passed, some sought to drive them off from their world.'_

My vision flickered and I could see humans building things, gathering resources, being watched by other humanoid people – with pointed ears. It fizzled away and soon enough, said humans were fighting back and attacking the elves. They were screaming, but no sound came through to my ears.

"But … those are some pretty old legends." I murmured, doubting what I was seeing and hearing.

_'Time is a fickle thing, sometimes fluctuating between these parallel universes.'_

"Huh." Guess that'd make sense, but with the help from the Well or not I doubt I'd understand such intricacies.

The movement started up again, a bird's eye view of people gearing up for war could be seen. The greenery swaying in the wind as they put on their armor and grabbed their weapons.

_'That's when the rebellion started. Soon, war broke out and spread across the lands – the humans sought to destroy these beings'_

Death. More death. Blood and soundless screams as they fought to their very last breaths. Then the elves began to retreat into the Eluvians, the shimmering blue glow pulsating and illuminating the insides of a cave. Other places showed them inside of temples, only for them to grow dim. Then finally they fizzled out, cracking and dying. Never to be reopened again.

_'When these Gods left, they strengthened the veil around Earth and left the humans to fend for themselves. To forever be without magic. Magic being only a long lost dream—known to many as simple mythology. Stories that held no truth and meanings warped over time.'_

I could have sworn I saw one elf holding an Orb that looked something like the one Corypheus had used, his form hooded and cloaked to prevent me from seeing who it was. He or she held the thing up and my vision went white as the thing was activated.

_'However, some stayed in connection with these beings. Seeing them as useful allies and looked to them for guidance. But even then, they soon stopped visiting … as they were fighting a civil war of their own.'_

The same scene from before was presented to me, elves talking with my ancestors in front of a lake. Then it shifted, showing another group of people I knew were probably from around the world. Their tribal garb was unidentifiable to me. I knew not who they were. Then black.

_'Humans started to arrive from the North and they were met with hostility.'_

I somehow instinctively knew that it was Thedas, now. The scene changed so abruptly I almost heaved, but had to remember this was a dream. Wait … a dream? When had I-

A band of people marched forth, humans. Elves popped out of nowhere and began slaughtering them systematically. I winced but couldn't take my eyes off of it.

_'The very beings they used for slavery on in attempts to expand their empire onto Earth marched their way into Thedas using an Eluvian. Because of their shorter lifespans and ability to multiply easily, these quicklings soon became the dominant race for both Thedas and Earth.'_

That's when it showed the magnificent city I was used to seeing in my dreams slowly fall and crumble. I felt a pang in my chest at seeing it disappear so quickly. I didn't have a personal connection to it, but to see something so beautiful destroyed was almost painful to watch.

"War is pointless. So many lives lost … and for what?" Maybe I was just oversimplifying things. Maybe I was naïve, but that didn't mean that I had to like watching people slaughter one another. I couldn't even fathom why.

I didn't get an answer. Of course not.

My shoulders slumped and I was left in the dark void that was my mind, I assumed. The 'projector' that usually showed me snippets of things was dark, everything was quiet. My head snapped up, but … why was I here? Weren't we-

My brain finally caught up to me, memories resurfacing and snapping into place as I recalled the moments just before the blinding white light. Corypheus. My sister. Lavellan catching my sister, the Orb lighting up. Blank.

* * *

I slowly began to regain consciousness and felt the sun beating down on my skin, hair sticking to the side of my face. There was beeping of horns, screaming and crying, then the distinct sound of squealing tires and emergency vehicles. Gunshots.

Gunshots? Vehicles?

My eyes cracked open and I could feel my head throb as the light penetrated my retinas. My cheek was pressed against something hot and gritty, the hard surface was slowly starting to bake my face. Forcing myself into a seated position, muscles groaning and straining in the process, my vision slowly started to focus in.

There was smoke everywhere and the smell of burnt rubber was almost overwhelming. The charred remains of what looked to be buildings and blackened, twisted metal blocks were scattered across –  _this was a city._  A city on Earth. If the tall buildings and, what was left of, stores and a marketplace were anything to go by.

When the wind blew by my face, sending my hair fluttering into my vision, I also noticed the underlying smell of cooked meat. The same distinct smell that made me gag every time I smelled it. Which was what I was trying not to do as my eyes scanned over the scene. Numerous charred bodies of people holding their heads or looking up at the sky were scattered on the pavement near the crumbling buildings. I swallowed thickly, feeling my stomach roll, gaze shifting toward the reason this happened.

"Holy shit." I never thought I'd see this ever again, to be quite honest. And the people had likely died instantly when the blast hit, but I couldn't help the twisting feeling in my gut that formed because of it.

"Eloquently put, now where the fuck are we?" Varric's groggy voice asked from behind me, followed by a few more groans and the sounds of shuffling around.

I couldn't seem to tear my eyes off of the big green rip in the sky, flickering imagery could be seen just beyond the tear. It looked like an eagle eye view of the snowy mountainous area we'd been in when it happened. Though scorched.

A huge swirling mass of clouds surrounded the green hole, a beam of light piercing through and onto an area just passed some burning palm trees. It looked to be a park, of some sort. Or … what used to be a park, which was now just a flattened black space. Though this  _'tear'_ had nothing on the actual Breach I'd encountered back on Thedas. It was maybe half the size, if even.

It was like my ass was cemented to the pavement, right in the middle of the intersection. Somewhere in the distance car alarms were going off and I could still hear screaming echoing across the scorched ruins of the city. That's when I realized the twisted metal boxes were cars, or what  _used_  to be cars.

The screams must have been the people that happened to survive the blast. Said blast was much smaller than what had happened at the Conclave, that was for certain. That didn't, however, mean there were no casualties. It only encompassed a block or two in each direction. The tear beneath the big one in the sky flickered and swayed as it was closer to the ground, the air around it seemingly distorted. Why?

My brown gaze flicked over toward our group, half of which were still laying unconscious in the middle of the road. Bits of broken pavement were still ablaze, embers floating by from scattered paper.

"Screech, is this …"

"Yeah." My voice came out quiet, disbelieving. A pause. "This is Earth."

"Well, shit."

My eyes landed on the stock still forms of Solas and Dorian, who stared off seemingly nowhere with horrified expressions on their faces. Dorian's tanned complexion now an almost sheet white. Solas couldn't get any paler, but looked to be as equally disturbed as the Tevinter. Eren started to come to, groaning as he slowly pushed himself into a seated position. Only for his purple eyes to bulge almost impossibly wide, even for an elf, as his expression seemingly zoned out.

To put it simply, they looked sick.  _Sick_  being a vast understatement. Almost the same look someone would give if they suddenly woke up after being in a coma, only to discover they'd had their legs amputated. Eren looked at his hands, little (almost unnoticeable) sparks would appear but that only seemed to disturb him further as he let out whimpers. It was almost like when someone was trying to turn on a lighter but it wouldn't light up. Just sparks.

"Hey, you guys doin' alright?" Varric asked cautiously, but got no answer. They were too preoccupied.

"No no no, please no! This ain't happenin' again, is it?! Is it?!" Sera's panicked voice echoed as she crouched with her head between her knees.

"Sera, this isn't the Fade." I tried to reassure and she groaned, curling into herself further. We had yet to reconcile since that time she'd aimed her bow at me, but that didn't mean that I didn't care about her. Her terrified expression only caused the anxiety of the situation to rise.

Cole was sitting not far away, looking solemn. His eyes couldn't keep still on one thing as he focused on the twisted pieces of metal or the frozen forms of the people on the pavement, likely picking up on the last seconds of panic and fear they felt just as they died.

It was Eren that first broke out of his trance, his big purple eyes focusing on something on the road not far away. He let out a sob, his body stumbling forward toward the figure laying in front of us. The figure I'd let my eyes glance over, as if my mind didn't want to register it. Too afraid. Not real.

"Nooo. Please … please don't go!" The elf spoke brokenly as he knelt next to the aforementioned figure. This did not deter him, however, as he cradled her body and continued to cry. It was a cry of a broken man. Something that I'd never want to witness a second time.

Then it all caught up to me. I was forced to recognize that this was, indeed, real. I knew just who was on the ground, body unmoving. It was my little sister. Right next to her, Lavellan still lay unconscious but still breathing. I could see the slow and steady rise and fall of her chest, but … not Angel's. Angel was still. Too still.

The dalish elf uncorked something that he'd grabbed from his belt pouch, his hands getting to work as he held them over her chest. I felt the familiar fizzle of energy, though much  _much_  weaker now, as Eren tried to use his healing spells to mend her. Do anything to stop her from slipping away. But I knew.

Police sirens echoed through the air, faint sounds of things breaking and explosions in the distance were muffled as I stared at Eren and Angel. Her body would twitch, as if shocked. Not knowing how I was supposed to react, I simply stood there frozen. Her body jolted gain, this time her hand twitched and the grief on Eren's face seemed to lessen. Hope lit up his eyes.

He didn't stop.

"What is that!?" Broke me out of my trance. It had been Cassandra, her hand about to unsheathe her sword. I held my hand up and looked over at her, pushing down the urge to cry.

"Just wait. Those are police cars." Said cars slowly started to get closer, their wheels crunching on the loose pavement as they came to a stop maybe ten feet away. An older man stepped out of the drivers side, though remained on the other side of his door as he clicked something on his shoulder.

"Survivors spotted 400 W 6th St." A man spoke into his walkie and he turned toward us, "Are any of you in need of medical assistance?"

The faint sounds of replies from the device floated through the air, static and even more talking. He turned the thing down and stepped around the door.

"Yes. M-My sister is injured." I looked over at her, Eren still cradling her sickly looking body. Though this time I could actually see the faint rise and fall of her chest. Lavellan's hand crackled with green energy and she let out a groan. When I turned back, the man had paused and looked down at the huge bulky form laying unconscious on the pavement.

Ah, he was looking at Iron Bull. The officer stared with a perturbed expression on his face before shaking it off. Or, trying to as he kept glancing between him and us. To be fair, we were all wearing armor with weapons strapped to our backs and hips. We probably looked like we came straight out of one of those LARP communities.

"Uuunggghh." I heard Lavellan groaned again, breaking the silence that ensued. Another police officer slowly got out of the squad car, flashing lights still on as it illuminated everyone's faces as we turned to look at the Inquisitor. "W-What happened?"

"It's alright, guys." I stood up and brushed off the soot and dirt that stuck to my leather pants, my voice came out dull and distant. I had to keep moving. I couldn't break down now. It's not like my sister was dead. Not yet. "These are police officers, they're here to help."

" _Police_  … you mean the guards from your world?" Lavellan sounded groggy, her big grey eyes slowly focusing in on her surroundings. Blood dribbled down the side of her head and the Orb lay next to her hip. At least we still had that. Her eyes slowly got larger, if at all possible, after taking in the destruction of the city we were currently in. "W-What? Is … are we where I think we are?"

"Look, kids. We need to get you guys out of here. This place isn't safe for any of you." The younger cop finally walked up to the scene, his hand resting on his gun in his holster. "A bomb went off and –"

A roar echoed through the sky and everyone conscious whipped their heads in the direction it came from,  _'Whoosh whoosh whoosh'_. The massive wings on the Red Lyrium dragon resonated through the flattened parts of the town and I heard a clicking of a walkie.

"There is a dragon over Pershing Square-" The young man started to rattle off some details frantically and I couldn't seem to tear my eyes off of the massive form of the dragon as it screeched and landed on one of the taller buildings. It sent rubble and dust scattering as it stumbled and gripped onto the building, the small form riding atop it looked almost like an ant from this distance. Corypheus.

"Sam! You need to calm down!"

"With all due respect, Mr White sir. I didn't sign up for fighting  _ **dragons**_  when I applied at the PD!" He squeaked out, pointing at said dragon as it unleashed it's breath onto a building and setting parts of it aflame. Sam continued in a faster, hysterical tone. "This is bullshit! Of all the Rookies to be here.  _Now_. It was  _me_. Not _Matt_."

"Be that as it may, it's our  _job_. Get yourself together!" His superior, Mr White, grabbed his shoulder and shook him with a stern look on his wrinkled face.

"If you two are quite done." Cassandra butted in, pulling out her sword and causing the two officers to pull out their guns. The Seeker knew exactly what it was and lowered her sword with a scowl on her face. The three stared at one another intensely, the tension going up to almost unbearable levels. One wrong move and someone would die, I knew.

"D-Drop the sword!" Sam, the young officer, yelled shakily. The officers then took in the rest of us, all of whom all had their weapons drawn and were staring at the two warily. I was the only one that hadn't pulled out my bow. Well and Iron Bull, who was still unconscious on the ground between it all.

"Hey! He's pointin' that thing at 'er!" Sera squawked, an arrow already notched and aimed in their direction. This wasn't turning out well. It was escalating too quickly.

"Oh for the love of-" I held my hands up and snapped, "Everyone drop your weapons, we aren't enemies!"

I knew of how quickly the Seeker (or anyone) would get killed if they made the wrong move. By all accounts, if they thought we were a threat on their lives they had the right to shoot us right then. But they didn't. Even in their rattled states. Though officer White, who had dark hair swept off to the side, seemed completely calm as he aimed at us with his pistol. Sam was visibly shaken, his eyes darting around at us for any potential dangers.

"Are all people from this world so skittish? We have no time for this!" The Seeker's sword arm twitched and I heard the clicking of a hammer being pulled back on the firearm.

"Stop!" I yelled and took a step forward, the young man turned to me quickly brown eyes wide with horror.

_**'Crack!'** _

I grunted and took a step back, feeling my shoulder erupt in pain. Then came an enraged yell, followed by a deep growl that made even my stomach roll. A brown blur passed my vision, along with the sudden appearance of Cole right behind the young cop that had shot me. I could only watch in horror as he promptly executed the man right there, followed by the screams and yells of the older man as he got mauled by Riley.

More shots echoed through the air, a yelp, then silence.

I could only stare despairingly at the scene before me. I couldn't even get angry at Cole or even the two, now deceased, officers that lay on the ground. Riley limped toward me, hind leg injured from getting shot.

Both parties were not at fault. Both casualties of a stupid war. A war that didn't even belong in this world to begin with. My hand was pressed against my shoulder to stem the bleeding, the pain in the back of my mind as I stumbled forward. I couldn't control the tears that formed in my eyes and fell on their own accord.

These men. Men with names. Men with  _families_.

Cole seemed to realize, too. His angered expression melting away as he looked down at the man he'd just killed with the look of utter disbelief, before staring down at his own hands. "But he- But they."

"Bastard deserved it, righ'?" Sera spoke, disdain clear in her tone.

"Stop, Sera. Just … no. Not right now." I choked out. This went to show just how different our worlds were. Of course they wouldn't know that they were simply trained to do what they had been doing. They were good people. The fact that they hadn't opened fire right off the bat told me enough, and now they were dead.

They didn't understand. Couldn't. Cole saw him as a threat to my life and killed him for it, just like he would have on Thedas. Simple instinct. The same went for Riley, who obviously took in my distress as disapproval for his actions as he stood there with his head lowered as he whimpered next to my feet.

I couldn't look at their bodies. Never could.

"Cole. Cole you need to calm yourself." Solas spoke as he walked over toward the spirit, who's hands were pulling on his blonde bangs with a distraught look on his features. His daggers were on the ground at his feet.

"H-He was going to  _kill_  her! B-But I.  _He_  was innocent, too! How – I promised I wouldn't kill innocent people again!"

"Cole..." I wanted so much to walk up to him and hold him, but the bodies kept me at bay.  _I was afraid._  I squeezed my shoulder, feeling the pain ground me and I turned away with a glare. Now's not the time!

"Wrong … wrong. It feels wrong!" The rogue wailed, Solas rubbed his back soothingly and I felt my body begin to shake. Coward. You're a coward. Stupid. Insignificant.  _Unworthy_.

"Sometimes people have to make some hard decisions during times like these, it is a fact." Cassandra butted in as she walked forward, her own way of trying to offer reassurance, the sounds of sirens in the distance approached. That's when I realized that the younger man had radioed in for backup and that was likely his fellow officers. Probably emergency responders, as well.

They wouldn't react too kindly to two dead officers and a bloody distressed looking young man. Solas was still at his side murmuring things to him, words of comfort I'd assume. Words I couldn't provide. Comfort I couldn't give. I let this happen.  _It was my fault._

"How are we going to defeat Corypheus now? We're way in over our heads here, Screech." Varric addressed me, breaking me out of my pity-fit. Self pity would only set us back. I was only making this situation worse.

_Get yourself together, Lyn!_

Anger now. Sad later. Anger now.

"Why're you addressing me? Lavellan is over there." I snapped, tilting my head in the elf's direction. The dwarf shook his head and shrugged.

"Your world. Your rules." The others seemed to agree and I suppressed the urge to groan.

I sighed, suddenly feeling the weight of the situation bearing down on my shoulders. Was this how the Inquisitor felt everyday?

Push it down. Push it away. Later later lat-

"First off, no more provoking the officers. They all dress the same, so it should be easy to tell who they are." I started, hearing the sirens getting closer. This needed to be quick. I tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in my stomach as I knelt next to the mauled body of the eldest officer and yanked his keys off of his belt. Walk forward, don't look back. I can look back later. Not now. I continued shakily, "They are s-skittish, especially the younger ones. They m-mean well, but understandably can be quick to draw their weapons if their lives are in danger. This situation doesn't help..."

As if to emphasize my point, the dragon let out a roar in the distance.

I walked around the two men on the road and climbed into the front seat of the squad car, grabbing the dash cam and ripping it out. I then promptly threw it onto the ground and started to stomp on it.

Some of the others began to bicker amongst one another, obviously the pressure of the situation not just getting to me. Sera was upset and talking about how everything was bullshit. Varric was trying to calm her down, Cole and Solas had their own thing going on. Lavellan was quiet, staring at the frenzied forms of her party members.

"Dorian, destroy this vehicle when I am done!" I yelled out of the door, not seeing what I was looking for. Sometimes they were in the trunk. I popped the trunk open and made my way around back.

" _Vee-hick-_." A pause, "Oh, right this odd little contraption. Marvelous!"

It was filled with first aid kits, fire extinguishers and flares. But what I was looking for was positioned at the back some, almost hidden amongst the pile of equipment. A locking rack containing a shotgun sat there innocently and I pulled out the ring of keys that I'd liberated from the man's body, hearing them jingle. Perfect. I snatched it up and took some shells from the nearby boxes and stuffed them in my spare pockets. Thinking twice, I grabbed a flare gun and the first aid kit and rounded back toward the front with the firearm strapped to my back

Cole, thankfully, seemed to have calmed down but still had a despondent expression on his face as he stood next to Solas. The both of them started to walk toward the rest of the group, boots crunching on the loose pavement that scattered the area that was once an intersection. It was now cracked and tattered looking, the streetlights and stop lights fallen and spitting sparks into the air.

 _'Fwoosh!'_  The car behind me went up in flames.

I dug through the first aid kit and began bandaging my wound, thanking God – or the Maker – that it wasn't in an area that was life threatening. It could be, but the blood was already slowing. It didn't stop me from feeling dizzy, however. My pauldron lay on the ground at my feet as I wrapped my shoulder shakily.

" _That_  was harder than expected..." Dorian panted, using his staff to support himself as he shook in place. "I-It takes a significant amount of mana to complete even the simplest of spells. Even with the a-assistance of lyrium it's difficult, h-how very interesting!"

"Even the Breach is considerably smaller. Perhaps this world is connected to the Fade differently." Solas spoke up from behind the Tevinter, causing said man to turn around to look at him. I didn't have to look up to know that Solas probably knew more than he let on.

"Indeed. Which begs the question, or – rather –  _questions_. How and why?"

They paused for a moment and I used my teeth to gnaw off the gauze after I'd tied it off. When I looked back up, Dorian was trying to cast a spell in his hands, electricity flickering and glittering in his palms. Though it seemed almost … sluggish.

_Because the physical world here isn't meant to be manipulated. The veil is too strong._

"Would you not conserve magical energy with a less …  _flashy_  style in times such as this?" Solas insisted, his staff held like a walking stick at his side as he stared at the Tevinter. Said Tevinter turned to him and flashed him a smile, despite the situation.

"We've already had this conversation, Solas. I wouldn't want to appear nondescript, would I?" Dorian piped up, his staff twirling around as he tried to stick it on his back. Only for it to fall onto the ground. The mage blinked a few times and turned to look at the thing, expression scrunching in distaste.

"Ah yes, perish the very thought." The bald elf was staring at the Tevinter's staff, as well, and I could practically hear the cogs in his brain turning. Now I'm going to guess they stick them onto their backs with magic, or something. I've also never seen such a perplexed expression on Dorian's face.

The sirens sounded like they were a few blocks away, now.

"We need to get out of here. Now." I spoke up in warning, not hearing Lavellans groan as her hand started to crackle. The mark was flaring up.

"But The Iron Bull isn't awake, yet." Cole knelt down next to the Qunari and shook him, "The Iron Bull."

"Shit, Tiny. Of all the times!" Varric complained, his little foot coming up to help shake him awake.

_Then the demons came._

Inhuman screeches filled the air, followed by the squealing of tires as the red and blue lights filled the area.  _That_  woke Iron Bull up. Rather quickly, might I add. It was almost like an alarm and he was up on his feet and ready to fight so fast it almost gave  _me_  whiplash. My nerves were nearly fried and I half expected the officers to immediately suspect us for the deaths of the men near the burning vehicle and take defensive action.

Though that was not the case.

"What  _are_  those things!?" Someone yelled, followed by fast paced footsteps. A terror demon saw movement with it's many eyes and disappeared into the ground, though it took longer than usual, my head whipped around toward the commotion. I was greeted with the sight of about 5 police cruisers that lined the broken down street, an ambulance making it's way down the road behind them. The spindly demon popped back up from the ground in the middle of the frenzied officers and let out an ear piercing wail.

Men and women yelled and gunshots filled the air. Some of the party members got into a defense formation and I swiftly got to work with filling the shotgun with the shells I'd taken. To my complete and utter surprise, I had a  _riot_  shotgun and it was able to hold 10 shells.

I winced when I realized the older man must have been a higher ranking officer, which meant he'd get some of the good equipment.

_No time for that, Lyn. Focus._

"Rift!" Lavellan yelled over the sounds of the shots that echoed through the air. I could have swore I heard a few whiz by my head just then. They sprung into action with the efficiency of a group that knew each other well, swords drawn and bows afire.

The rifts here were also smaller in size, it seemed. Less demons appeared and they weren't all that powerful, like they were on Thedas. Almost like they had a hard time getting around. Dorian and Solas appeared to have troubles casting their spells, a thin sheen of sweat on their brows as they concentrated harder. I knew this was going to be one hell of a battle and this was just the  _beginning_.

Eren was standing beside Angel trying to fend the demons off to keep her safe and I positioned myself beside the distraught elf.

_'Boom!' 'Click click'_

"Hey!"

_'Boom!'_

Some yells filled the background as I started to help my friends pick off the demons and Lavellan got to work with closing the rift with her mark. The pouch on her hip looked oddly filled, the Orb obviously sitting there unused. I was limited with how much I could help, due to the fact that friendly fire was possible with the weapon in my possession.

Though the demons seemed to drop rather fast once their heads were blasted off. Point in question, a despair demon had been shooting icicles at my friends in the distance so I'd picked it off. Bits were now scattered on the pavement.

"Did someone call in the military?!"

"Already on it!"

"Need medical assistance over here!"

"Over here, too!" Eren's screechy voice yelled frantically, using the butt end of his staff to stab the demons and wielding it like a spear.

The tall buildings in the distance were still being attacked and were crumbling and slowly falling apart. One had already collapsed and the ground was filled with dusty debris and screaming civilians. Even at the distance we were at, I could hear them. The battle around the immediate vicinity died down as the last of the weakened demons were killed off. Lavellan pulled the rift shut with a snap of her arm, but my eyes wouldn't leave the crumbling structures on the other side of Pershing Square.

How were we supposed to go against the dragon with it so far up there? Obviously the military would take action, but what about Corypheus?

News helicopters lingered around the dragon and it let out a bellowing shriek.

"Oh, no." I breathed, the approaching footsteps at my left completely forgotten as the dragon took notice to the choppers.

_Idiots!_

**Third Person**

Kyle was sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer with the look of utter boredom plastered on his tanned face. Ever since his sisters had disappeared a year ago, he'd locked himself away in his room and buried himself in video games as a distraction. He took a sip of Pepsi, wincing at how stale it was before tossing it into the overflowing trash bin next to his computer desk.

Cans of empty soda lined the desk, completely covering anywhere they could. The lights flickered in his rundown apartment, sounds of a party down below booming and making the cans rattle. Pizza and Chinese takeout boxes were haphazardly thrown on the floor. His black curly hair stood on end and fell passed his shoulders as he turned toward the television that was on across the room.

All in all, he was the visage of a complete social recluse. A hermit.

The young man squinted his brown eyes, seeing the image of a dragon flailing it's tail and snapping at the other helicopters with a news banner at the bottom of the screen. They were circling it as it sat atop a rather tall building, it's size completely dwarfing the aircraft. 'LIVE: Los Angeles, CA.'

"This has got to be a hoax." He grumbled, turning up the volume on the television anyway.

" – And I repeat, there is a dragon …" A woman spoke enthusiastically and he changed the channel. FOX news had the same exact footage going on but from a different angle. A male voice echoed through the television instead. "I don't know about you, Lisa. But it looks like there is a man riding the dragon! It's-"

Screams could be heard as the dragon stretched it's wings and began to flap them, deadly red scales glinting in the sunlight that peeked through the clouds above. The smoke and dust that billowed around it's form slowly started moving in a circular pattern. Rotating and rotating, causing the camera to shift. Or, rather, the helicopter to shift.

"Holy shit..." Kyle's eyes wouldn't leave the screen as the cameraman started yelling unintelligible gibberish, the screen started to shake and spin followed by the sounds of the propellers dying. Then everything went fuzzy, obviously from having crashed.

* * *

_(In an office somewhere)_

Patrick Weekes, now lead writer for Dragon Age, sat at his desk typing away as he whistled to an idle tune. A random television show was playing in the background, flatscreen mounted in the corner of his cluttered office. Sunlight streamed through the blinds as he took a sip of his lukewarm coffee, setting the cup down on his desk.

He scratched his beard thoughtfully as he squinted into his laptop, only to be interrupted when the television screen suddenly changed – explosions and screams erupting from the offending device. It filled his otherwise quiet office, jarring him from his trance. The writer jumped, attention immediately on the screen.

"There are numerous buildings on fire! Smoke every-" The banner at the bottom of the screen told him that it was live footage in LA. His eyes widened and he readjusted his glasses.  _'100s dead, numbers rising'_  floated by at the bottom.

Was it a terrorist attack?

The camera panned and zoomed in on a young man as he ran up to the camera crew.

"Get out of here, you'll die!" His screechy voice echoed through the TV, big purple eyes filled with terror. Purple? His pointy ears popped out of his half shaven head, a distinctly familiar vallaslin coming down across his eye.

Immediately Patrick wondered if this was occurring near a gaming convention.

Then a shriek filled the air, a spindly form bursting through the ground and sending some of the frenzied civilians in the background flying. More screams.

"M-Monster!"

"Demon!" The elf pulled the staff off of his back and slammed it onto the ground, fire erupted from the tip and was sent flying toward the enemy. He was performing  _magic_. Weak fireballs, at best, flew at the familiar gangly form, "Get back! Go go!"

The cameraman didn't need to be told twice. He skittered back but kept recording the battle. At some point, said elf had to resort to stabbing at the thing with his staff but the fact that he'd been able to send a fireball at the thing was what got him. How?!

The man jerked in place, elbow bumping his coffee cup and sending it onto the floor. He could only stare in disbelief at the television screen.

 _'Crack!'_  It shattered, sending it's contents spilling onto the hardwood floors.

His large eyes darted from the screen and to the broken cup on the floor at his right, computer completely forgotten. The man then wondered just what in the hell his wife had put in his coffee.

Was he hallucinating?

Then the dragon roared, screen shifting and catching a glimpse of the glowing green hole in the sky. Clouds swirled ominously, a dragon flew by and landed atop one of the tall buildings – debris and dust getting kicked up under the massive strain of the beast.

A Breach. There was a Breach in the sky. It shouldn't be there, it shouldn't be real. Dragons shouldn't be real. Demons shouldn't be real. But of all the things to suddenly be real, it had to be -

"What the fu-" He choked, looking at the door to his office which was cracked open. "Karin!"

* * *

The Iron Bull was finally fully awake as he stood amongst the fleeing citizens, some of them screaming and running once they got a look at him. 'Demon!' they'd said, 'Monster!' some of the others had said. The same reaction that they were giving the  _actual_  demons milling about the streets. The  _actual_  threat.

He grumbled and hefted his greatsword, trying – yet again – to comprehend this damned place. 'Cars', she'd said the metal contraptions were, made loud noises as they bumped amongst one another. Crash! Metal on metal. Screams. The operators of the machines screaming out their windows, eager to leave this place. _'I'm with ya, buddy.'_

Iron Bull hated this place.

Another demon appeared across the street, spindly form slowly walking toward him as it's claws clicked on the hard surface. Shit yeah, now this is what he's talking about. "Wanna piece of the Bull? I'll give you a piece of the Bull!"

A white blur sped by, hitting the demon with a loud resounding  _'Clunk!'_. It sent the green thing flying at least 10 feet into the air, flipping and finally falling limply in the middle of the road. Unmoving.

"Oh. Well that was anticlimactic." Was his disappointed observation.

"You can't always win, Tiny." Varric commented with amusement, Bianca held at the ready as they looked up at the tall building where their enemy was currently residing. Corypheus had yet to come down and they were all discussing how to defeat him. Or, rather, how to get his ass down here so they could fight. Cassandra's clipped tone and Sera's frantic babbling was interrupted by,

 _ **'BEEEEEEP!'**_ The Qunari screamed – er –  _yelled_  and his instincts kicked in. His burly arms swung the heavy chunk of metal in his hands around and made contact with a weaker, thinner, metal on the front of a car. It crumpled like paper as his sword made contact. Through the clear glass windows in the front, a terrified human screamed. He was able to jump out of the way just as the wheels peeled out as they took off. Any slower and he would have ended up like that demon laying dead in the middle of the street.

"Hey! That's my-" He called, watching the car slowly get smaller in the distance with his weapon still lodged in the hood. "-sword. Fuck."

* * *

"Is this a training drill or something? Demons? Dragon?" A young cop laughed quietly into his hand, looking over at his superior. He was still a rookie, a 'baby cop' as Hagenah liked to call them. "Why did you even come back from retirement, Mr Hagenah?"

The older man shrugged his shoulders, eyes still on the road ahead. Neither of them noticed the smoke billowing into the sky just yet. The tall buildings blocked the Breach from view as they were about to round the corner. He stated in the most deadpan tone, "I'm kind of like herpes, I never really go away and sometimes I flare up from time to time."

The rookie let out a choked laugh before he gathered himself and looked out the window to hide his expression.

That's when they encountered a tear in the air. Quite literally. Black ooze was seeping out of it like a festering wound, landing in the middle of the road, right as they rounded the corner. The green rip was sending figures spewing into the streets. Screams and gunshots could be heard as citizens tried to defend themselves. Those lucky enough to have concealed weapons ran down the streets shooting at the monsters, still alive. All this could be heard through their closed windows and he fumbled for his shotgun that was in the lock rack between the seats. Those other shrill screams didn't sound human at all.

Because they weren't.

Civilians ran away from the figures, spindly forms clawing at anything they could get close to. Some cars looked nearly shredded, the people inside in a similar state. Some of the people got on their knees and started to pray, not knowing what else to do. Others were pouring into a nearby church.

It was chaos.

"I knew I should have accepted that job in dispatch." Matt, the rookie, spoke forlornly.

They'd been taking in new officers as of late and it was just his luck that this would happen now, of all times. That's when one of the monsters decided to take notice to them, numerous eyes on it's ugly face as it screeched at them. The sound caused Matt's stomach to drop out of his ass, figuratively.

"Get your ass in gear, Matt!" Hagenah ordered, grabbing his own shotgun and taking aim. The rookie fumbled, his nerves getting the best of him.

"Sir!"

* * *

"No, Cassandra. He's not a demon. Or possessed." Lyn reassured for the fifth time and Cole could  _see_  the exasperation on her face as she spoke that time.

"But it's moving on it's own. Is it supposed to do that?" The woman pointed her sword at a man in a hotdog costume that was now running away like his life depended on it. And it did, because the Seeker almost cut him down for being an abomination.

"It's a  _costume_."

It had been almost a half hour now and they couldn't figure out a way to get up on top of the building to fight Corypheus. It seemed the magister refused to come down, the dragon wreaking complete havoc on the city.

Cole felt the beginnings of a scowl forming on his face as he stared up at the man that was responsible for so many innocent people dying. Men and women, even children ran away from the scene still. Big red metal boxes rolled by on wheels with lights flaring, men coming out to help those in need. Angel had been taken by a white vehicle Lyn had called an ambulance. With what little life was still inside of her body, Cole could only hope that she survived.

The Iron Bull was staring up at the scene with a wide eye, the police officers had thought him a demon at first because of his horns. Just like the civilians. But with some convincing, Lyn was able to reassure them that he was just cosplaying. She'd lied, but it was to protect the Qunari from getting shot.

Again.

His side was long bandaged up, the 'bullet' (as Lyn called them) still lodged within but it would be removed when they could get to it. Though no one attacked the soldier that shot him, since it'd been friendly fire. Accidental. Soldiers. The soldiers in this world looked vastly different than the ones on Thedas. They all wore matching uniforms, no armor. That he could tell, anyway.

Then there was the fact that once The Iron Bull woke up, the first 'car' he saw ended up with a few dents and slashes in it. Followed by frantic yells about 'demons' and 'fade-shit'. All in all, the burly warrior was not taking his visit on Earth that well.

"I theorize that once we close the Breach on the other side, the rifts on this side will disappear." Solas spoke calmly, despite the chaos around them. Gunshots cracked through the air as the military moved in to neutralize the demons that were littering the streets. Lavellan reached into her pouch and held up the Orb.

Though Cole knew that Solas already had knowledge of this place, the confidence in his words flowing like an ocean current. It just was. It didn't go unseen by the rogue just how utterly  _fascinated_  the bald elf had been after most of the demons had perished and he had time to look around. Most of all was the questioning of just how any of this was possible.

"You  _theorize_ , but are you  _sure_? We can't just leave these people to die, Solas." The Inquisitor was stern in her statement, Iron Bull standing just behind her looking up at the sky above them.

"I never suggested that, I was just-" Solas was trying to make a point.

"Uhhh, Boss?" Iron Bull tried.

"-making a simple observation. With the Orb, you should be able to put an end to this once and for all. It holds immense power and with it, the Breach can be closed on both sides." Solas continued as if he hadn't heard the Qunari.

"Boss."

"Then there is the dragon, how are we supposed to defeat the dragon? That's our key to defeating Corypheus! I can't-" She was cut off by Iron Bull, this time actually hearing him.

"Boss!"

Lavellan sighed, "What is it, Bull?"

She turned and saw the Qunari staring up at the dragon in awe, but that wasn't why he was. The sounds they'd been ignoring were now louder as a large black metal contraption hovered near the dragon. Then came the sounds,  _'Thud thud thud thud'._

"What is that?!" The Iron Bull yelled, his fear rolling off of him in waves.

"Fuck. Piss.  _Shit!"_  Sera's voice was drowned out by the noise, her hands making their way into her hair again. "I don't like this!"

"Military helicopters!" Lyn spoke enthusiastically as she pointed up at the sky, her brown eyes wide. "And they've got machine guns."

"My my, they do know how to make a dashing entrance don't they?" Dorian was using his hand to shield his eyes from the sun, a thin sheen of sweat pouring down the side of his face. The mages were all working overtime.

Fast paced shots flared up from the side of the helicopter, small bursts of light spewed forth and hit the beast. The dragon screeched and unleashed it's breath upon the offending vehicle, sending it spinning out like the other ones had. More screams erupted once the explosion shook the area, setting the building aflame.

People went scattering and screaming as the debris fell down as a result, the explosion having happened a good distance away from the small party.

"Well, that's a damn shame." Varric grunted.

Lyn shifted uncomfortably, her eyes showing the loss of hope. Her weapon was slung around her shoulder as she readjusted it and looked over at the rip in the sky that sent ominous green light all the way down to the ground behind them. Cole still felt the guilt tear through him at the thought of what he did to make her have to steal that gun, but pushed it aside. This world taught him many things. Hard choices being a part of them. Him or her. Her or him.

Obviously he'd picked  _her_ , no questions asked.

At some point the otherworlder had shot an orange colored gun in the dragon's direction, sending light flickering into the air as it ascended. They were hoping to catch Corypheus' attention. A building nearby collapsed in on itself, sending more dust and debris billowing. It had been one of the larger ones this time, a wall of dust being sent in their direction.

"Shit! If we inhale that stuff we could die!"

The others began to look around frantically. They wouldn't have to hide, though. A familiar tall form hit the ground and sent everything flying back, the cement cracked beneath his feet as he stared down on the Inquisitor. The dust cloud was sent scattering into the air, leaving the area untouched. Lavellan had fallen and was holding the Orb against her chest, a defiant look in her big eyes.

The flare had worked.

"I am here to claim what is mine. And once I have done so, I will destroy this wretched world." His eyes ghosted over Lyn's form and Cole felt himself bristle, "This place holds nothing for me. Your pest of a sister lied-"

_'Bang!' 'Click click'_

"Fuck off." Lyn's anger, yet again, got the best of her and the rogue watched in horror as the arm she'd blasted off slowly reformed. Her weapon was still aimed at him, but her brown eyes were wide with terror and maybe a little bit of disgust. She was like a spooked animal, body shaking and unable to move.

It only served to piss off the darkspawn magister as his other hand rose and the gun in her grasp went skidding across the pavement. Her body was next as it tumbled back and she cried out in pain. Cole saw red.

"I'll kill you!" It tore through his throat without his consent and his body dashed forward, daggers drawn. The others seemed to have taken this as a cue as they too rushed forth and started to attack Corypheus.

A barrier sprung forth, though it sung a different song than it did when they were on Thedas. Everything there, did. Solas and Dorian casted their spells at a slower rate, almost like wading through mud. Sluggish. Murky. Their mana had long since depleted to dangerous levels, but they conserved their strength and stayed in the back. Focusing, instead, on muffling any incoming damage as best they could.

"You dare challenge me, demon!" He fought back and Cole was relentless. Cassandra would occasionally pop in and block his blows with her shield. Arrows flew by and lodged themselves into the fleshy parts of the evil magister. He growled angrily and flailed his arm in Cole's direction, "I will bind you!"

What would have been a powerful blast was simply a small show of power as it sputtered forth when he tried to cast a spell of some sort. It had no effect on him whatsoever, which only seemed to encourage the scraggly rogue.

_He couldn't be bound because he was too human._

"I am no demon … and you are no God!" Cole spat back, falling into stealth and making his way around at his back with swift ease.

"You will all perish!"

**First Person**

My body ached as I stared up at the sky, vision tunneling and blurring. My arm felt like it couldn't move and I just  _knew_  I was bleeding again. This time from different areas than before, surely. He'd thrown me like a rag doll and whatever happened left me more wounded than before.

Everything felt so cold, but I knew I had to get up. I had to keep fighting. The sound of battle was still going on not far away and frantic yelling from some of the local police and emergency responders at my left.

There was a moment; a small, measly moment, that I sat there. Or, rather, lay there staring up at the Breach in the sky. My back felt gritty on the soot covered earth. My ears full of cotton balls, eyesight wavering and spotty. This moment passed by slowly, the fighting in the background a dim reminder of where I was.

It was then that I wondered what, of all places in the universe, Flemeth would want here on  _Earth_. Of all places. Even Corypheus was having a difficult time adapting, magic pulling sluggishly and being cast so weakly. The mages were having a hard time even  _being_  here, if the uneasy looks on their faces were anything to go by.

This world was probably barren to them. Their ability to draw from the Fade a far off dream. It was a nightmare.

_This is bullshit._

With that thought, everything slammed back into action. The sounds less muffled as my hearing returned. The sky less blurry and spotty as my vision cleared. The swirling mass of clouds were an afterthought when I saw two black specks coming into view. Along with the ominous sound of jet engines. A low  _'whoooooosh'_  rumbling through the sky, getting increasingly louder.

Fighter jets. F-22 Raptors. They'd already evacuated as many people as they could with the help of what little military could respond on such short notice. They were likely taking drastic measures. Any of the choppers they'd sent in were sent into the nearby buildings, having only left the dragon weakened but not dead. I flew into a seated position, ignoring the sudden rush of nausea that followed.

Their sleek grey forms whizzed by and what happened next happened within a matter of seconds. Bullets shot through the air at an unbelievably fast rate, the first fighter jet putting all it could into the dragon atop the building. The red beast let out a shriek and tried to fire at the contraption with it's deadly breath, only to miss as it flew by and continued forth. Distracted, the dragon didn't see the second one coming in as it sent the final good-bye present into it's chest.

Missiles.

They soared through the air and made contact with it's large body, connecting simultaneously and exploding. The wailing cries that followed made me wince, some of the officers and soldiers nearby started yelling at everyone to get back. But none of my companions heard, as they were deeply engaged in battle with the evil darkspawn magister. Did they not  _feel_  the air vibrating? The ground vibrated, too!

They needed to get out of there because the dragon was dying and about to fall. Tiny pieces of rubble rained down on the battlefield, people cried out at the same time I did.

"Get back!" I called as it stumbled and lost footing at the top of the building. My eyes darted around, seeing some people taking  _pictures_  of the thing with their phones. Some of them were bleeding and covered in soot, but still found the strength to pull out their cameras. If I weren't about to fall into a fit of hysteria, I would have yelled at them for being so idiotic.

A staff was sent slamming into the ground right beside me, causing my focus to snap onto the figure at my right. Eren stood there with a determined look on his face, blue-ish glows appearing over everyone's fighting forms. They all started inching away from the debris that was starting to rain down on them as the dragon finally went limp and began to free fall.

Lavellan yelled something I couldn't hear and everyone stumbled back, leaving Corypheus sitting there with a smug look on his face. He thought he won and they were retreating, only for his facial expression to fall as he looked up just in time to-

The dragon landed on top of him with a resounding  _'BOOM!'_ , sending rocks and dirt shooting into the air. The ground shook and trembled like an earthquake. It sent a few of the party members onto the ground, the others stumbling and catching themselves.

We were left in the silence that ensued, wondering if he'd really died just then. I could faintly hear some shouted orders over where some of the police and military were lingering, staying a safe distance away with their weapons drawn.

Unfortunately Corypheus was like a cockroach and he slowly started to crawl out from underneath the heavy beast his mouth moving as he spoke, body battered and half broken. He reminded me of a mangled action figure, arms bent in the wrong directions as he clawed his way forward. I stood up and began to limp toward the group with my hand over my shoulder. My whole body felt like it was burning. Hell, the way I felt I wouldn't be surprised if my body resembled the state of Corypheus' mangled body.

Lavellan yelled something back at him, her hand came up and a green light started to pulsate and pull at the magister's body. It was then that I realized that she was opening up a rift – sending his spindly form twisting and distorting as he was banished into the Fade.

That's when the Breach decided to pulse, sending the Inquisitor onto her knees as she held the hand with the Anchor. Pain was clear on her features as sweat started to gather on her brow.

"A-Are you alright?" I asked once I was within speaking distance. Demons of all types littered the streets, lesser terrors and shades mostly, and some of the military actually started to finally roll forth as they cautiously made their way toward the dead dragon next to our group. The crunch and thumps of boots pattered closer to us as they stepped around the demon corpses cautiously.

"Could be better." She choked out in response as she stood up shakily.

"We should probably leave before the military decides to haul us off somewhere." I commented, waving my hand toward the open Breach before replacing it back onto my wounded shoulder. If the intensely curious looks on some of those men's faces were anything to go by, if we didn't leave soon we'd be subject to a number of questions. Questions, no doubt, would probably be best left unanswered.

Everyone looked a little worse for the wear. Lavellan was sporting some nice bruises and gashes that littered her exhausted frail body. Iron Bull and Cole looked to be in the same condition though not nearly as drained as she. Cassandra held herself high, refusing to appear as though she were as bad as she looked. The woman sported her new wounds proudly as she assessed the situation with a passive expression, sword still drawn.

"No one's going to believe any of the shit I have to say when we get back." Varric spoke as he and the others ambled up to the rest of the group, Sera not far behind. Some of her choppy blonde hair looked singed, how had that happened?

"Those're always the best stories ta tell, though. Righ'?" Sera smirked and placed a hand on her hip, "We finally defeated Corypheshit. What now?"

"We close the Breach." Lavellan looked up at the sky, the green light reflecting in her large eyes as she slowly strode forth with the Orb in her hands. Everyone followed, including me. Dorian and Solas were oddly quiet, though the latter looked almost like he didn't want to leave the place. The hobo-mage kept looking around at the towering and crumbling buildings with an expression that bordered somewhere between awe and bafflement.

Before we got close enough to the flickering green stream of light, I noticed one form missing. Eren. I stopped halfway and turned to look at him as he stood next to the dead dragon with a dull look on his face. The adrenaline was slowly starting to wear off and the fierce look on his face melted into blankness. Dull. Empty.

He simply stood there, even as some of the military began asking him to step back. Almost like he didn't hear anything they were saying.

"Kid, you alright?" One had asked, slowly leading him away from the dead beast. He offered no resistance, which gave me pause. I knew that Angel had been taken in to the hospital, but—oh he probably wanted to stay didn't he? But.

Riley let out a whine from beside me and I sighed. Don't get me wrong, I was torn on where to stay as well. I wanted to know if my sister was alright and if I left to Thedas, I'd likely never find out. If I stayed though, I would never see my friends again. Friends that I'd come to think of as family.

"Eren...?" I called, gaining his attention. My shoulder started to throb and itch. I, yet again, pushed away a wave of dizziness that followed. "Look … we need … n-need to get going."

"You sure it's safe for them to be near that stuff?"

"Maybe it's a chemical in the air? Is that why it's green?"

"Where'd this thing come from, then?" A bigger burly soldier kicked the dead dragon. This caused some air to be expelled from it's corpse and he let out a shriek as he aimed his rifle at it and shot.

_'Crack!'_

I flinched and refocused my attention back on the dalish elf at my right.

"Oy, stand down!"

"It moved!"

Many voices started babbling and gossiping as they checked the area, finding no hostility. Eren was staring at me with wide eyes, the man beside him trying to ask him questions but he offered no response. I slowly turned around to look at my friends, finding them facing in the other direction as Lavellan held the Orb up to the sky. It crackled with green energy and fizzled, it's power shooting up to the sky as they all disappeared in a flash of light.

What –

I could have sworn my heart stopped at the sound of the rift slamming shut, leaving us in baffled silence.

"Did you see that?!"

"It's gone!"

"...Ma'am ….. need …" A voice slowly got louder as someone approached me and Riley whined. I could have sworn I heard someone yell something, only for the Mabari to let out a whining bark. Eren's frantic voice, then nothing.

I wanted to scream. That's the only thing that filtered through my brain. I couldn't, though. All I did was stand there in disbelief, the blood draining from my face as I felt my body seemingly become lighter. It was either from my wounds or the fact that—I'd just been left behind. They left.

They were gone.

Everything else filtered into the background as my vision began to darken. Before I knew it, everything seemed to fade away. In and out. In and out. Then everything shut off, like what would happen if you suddenly unplugged a television.

_This is bullshit._

* * *

When my eyes snapped open I gasped and everything seemed almost hazy. Fuzzy. I was standing in a vast meadow, grass swaying in the wind to and fro. Small flowers of many hues caressed my outstretched hands as I slowly took in the environment. The field seemed to go on forever and ever.

The sky was bright and the sun was sending it's warm rays on my face. However, that seemed to change as clouds started to roll forth slowly. What happened came back to me, hitting me like a truck. I was never going to see my friends again. I would never go back home, where I'd found a place for myself. It started to sprinkle as thunder rolled in the distance. And to top it all off, my sister could be dead. Gone.

The downpour started so suddenly I almost jumped in surprise.

"Calm yourself, child. One must not allow negative emotions to taint the Fade in such a way, it will attract the company of demons." I heard an elderly voice speak from behind me and everything seemed to shift, my vision wavering as I was promptly turned around to face the person.

An elderly woman with white hair that was shaped into horns atop her head stood in front of me, her piercing yellow eyes seemingly boring into my very soul.

"Flemeth." I spoke plainly, staring at her knowingly. I knew that she was the one behind all of this, but why? I hadn't known.

"The Fade interconnects our worlds and many others. As it has long before even my time. 'Tis a curious thing." She spoke, walking around me with elegant strides as she observed me. I felt my anger starting to roil around in my stomach, lighting cracked in the background.

"You got my sister killed!" I yelled, feeling it all boil over and spew forth. Anger was easier. "You used me and got my sister killed in the process!"

"Ah, but quite the contrary." She waved her wrinkled hand and my mouth was promptly shut as if silenced by some kind of magic. "The girl is fine. Injured, but fine."

I wanted to scream at the woman, but it was like my mouth wouldn't open. My jaw locked in place as I stared at her with the hottest glare I could muster.

But why? Why people from Earth? Elves had visited other worlds aside from this one, but why … out of all the other colorful and magic filled planets, this one? This one was as dull as they came. I know I hadn't been picked personally by her, but by some joke the Universe seemed to be playing on me and happened to be there at the right time. Or maybe the wrong time.

"The Vir'abelasan is an ancient nexus of energies, as you well know. Your knowledge melded with its, and in turn is a part of Mythal. Flemeth. We are one in the same, her and I." The woman let out a low chuckle, "It mattered not which of you were to absorb it's knowledge. I got what I needed."

You got what you needed, indeed. And in the process possibly killed many more innocents.

I thought back on how many likely died during the assault of Corypheus on Earth. The wreckage his Red Lyrium Dragon caused and the many brave men and women that fought to keep the people safe, only to get torn apart by demons or burned by a dragon. The thought made me angry. The faces of the two officers we'd met when we first arrived popped into my head, Sam and Mr White. I hadn't known their full names, but they were dead along with countless others.

I stood there in, forced, silence – seething at the woman in front of me. She continued as if she couldn't hear me, however. Though I knew she could.

"Our worlds were not so dissimilar. Ancient forgotten stories, mythology or truth I wonder? The Fade is vast. Everywhere, yet not." I knew not what the woman was rambling about, I only felt the sheer rage that seemed to ripple through my body at the sight of her.  _She used me._ Flemeth smirked and I tried to struggle through the spell she seemed to hold on me.

"Hmmmm, such ferocity. Though 'tis expected from such a young pup. Your anger will betray you, youngling." Her hand came up and rested on my forehead, in an almost motherly manner. "But alas our meeting must come to an end, yes? You did your job well."

Damn her and her fucking cryptic way of speaking. Most of what she said didn't even seem to make sense to me, at that point. I felt my body twitch and the thunder in the distance rolled forth and shook the ground. I can't go home – I can't see my friends – I can't see Cole! I let out a low growl, feeling it vibrate through my throat. I could have sworn I saw the woman's smirk widen.

Her hand slowly ghosted across my face and her pointer and middle finger pressed against the middle of my forehead. My pupils constricted painfully and I felt it as I was ripped away from the meadow and thrown right back into my physical body. I flew into a seated position, brown eyes widened with grief and agony.

I let out a loud wail of pain from my spot in a twin bed, white blankets draped over my legs and IV tubes connected to my arm. A string of profanities flew out of my mouth as I examined the room wildly, my gaze settling on a person who was sitting next to me and grabbing my arm. I couldn't seem to hear them as their mouth moved and no noise came out.

With a _'pop!'_  my hearing seemed to come back and my vision focused. Angel was sitting there on a chair next to my bed. The steady  _'beep beep beep'_  from the machine at my left slowly started to get faster and faster as my body shook.

"What's gotten into you!?" She yelled, "It's fine. It's alright!"

But she was dead! How was she still alive?! My breathing came in short ragged pants as I looked around the room frantically. She was the only one in the room with me at the moment, her tanned hand rested on my arm in a vice-like grip. Once I was calmed enough to stop flailing about, she spoke again.

"You've been out for awhile, Lyn..."

I looked down at my chest and panicked, not seeing my wooden pendant. Where was it?! My small hands clawed at my chest and I let out a pathetic sounding whine.

"H-How are you alive? This isn't real. Am I still in the Fade?" I rattled out distractedly, voice hoarse from disuse, and looked over at her. Angel stared at me sympathetically, her hand finally coming up to hand me my wooden pendant that I'd made. I couldn't help how my eyes welled up with tears at the sight of it as I grabbed it and held it closely, cradling it close to my chest. I didn't let the tears fall, though. I couldn't. "I saw you  _die_. I-I thought you were … d-dead."

I ran my fingers along the little engravings on the wooden pendant, slowly starting to calm down.

"I woke up in the hospital, too." Was her reply and I couldn't help the amount of sheer relief I felt flood my body at the realization that she was alright. She wasn't dead. Angel was alive. That's one victory.

We were interrupted when the door flew open and slammed against the wall, revealing the black haired dalish elf. His purple eyes were wide with happiness as he had a piece of chocolate stuffed in the side of his mouth. His thin fingers held an assortment of other candy bars.

"Vending machines are amazing!" He yelled ecstatically, sending bits of candy flying out of his mouth. He must have been on a sugar high. I felt my gaze turn flat. Angel giggled, looking over at him.

"It was one of the first things I showed him." She explained then sighed, "I'm sorry, Lyn."

"I'll be fine." Was my instantaneous reply.

"Lyn." Angel spoke warningly, looking at me with serious brown eyes. "You can't keep pretending everything will be fine every time something horrible happens to you."

"It's okay." My voice came out flat, not realizing how abruptly I cut her off just then. How much further I'd pushed everyone away, just to save face. To believe, "Everything is okay eventually."

Things take time, but eventually they always work out. For better or worse.

**Third Person**

Three days now. Four? Angel was unsure, but she'd awoke in the hospital and was almost afraid that it had all been one insane dream. But she had been greeted with the sight of Eren, who – at the time – had been passed out with his head next to her hand at the side of the hospital bed.

Currently the teen looked at her eldest sister with a frown. It'd been almost an hour now since Lyn had awoken and she simply stared off at the wall, face completely devoid of emotion. She'd seen this happen only once. She was shutting down.

A loud rapping interrupted her thoughts and she looked over to see a few men walking in. Apparently they didn't need permission and the knocking had been just common courtesy. The thought that someone would interrupt during such a time caused the teen to bristle in irritation.

"Can we help you?" Angel asked, staring at them suspiciously. Two of which were officers and a man in a business suit stepped forth with a clipboard and some papers. The business man looked almost too preoccupied and hadn't even looked up from his papers yet, his greying short hair styled perfectly.

"I'm officer Hagenah." The eldest officer addressed, hands poised behind his back as he took in the three sitting in the hospital room. The door was shut, allowing some privacy. How long have they been waiting to come in and see them? What could they want?

"Matt – er – officer Osborn." The younger one stated awkwardly, his posture rigid as he stood next to his superior. Hagenah gave him a look as if to say 'really..?'. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously under the scrutiny, "S-Sorry..."

"You can call me Brad and all you need to know is I work for the United States Government." Oh, wonderful. Angel stared at him, unimpressed. He had a superior air about him as he slowly allowed his steel grey eyes to flick up to the other occupants of the room. "It is my understanding that the three of you were there during the attack three days ago."

"Yes." It was Lyn that spoke, monotone ringing through the room. "Am I correct in assuming you are here to cover up the real events?"

"What  _real_  events? There was a terrorist attack, I am simply here to ensure that is all that leaves this room."

"Ah." Her hardened brown gaze landed upon the government official, "Under what terms?"

The man almost seemed taken back by her sudden agreement of the situation, his expression an open book. He must have been the one responsible for going around making people sign waivers, if the stack of papers was anything to go by. Angel had seen many movies and all the like to know what they were going to do and what actions they were going to take. They'd probably get them to sign waivers stating that they would keep their mouths shut or something.

She didn't disagree and it seemed neither did Lyn. That kind of information out in the public would only cause mass panic. Chaos. It was enough that a significant chunk of LA had been attacked and blown to bits by what had happened. Angel only remembered getting thrown at Lavellan on Thedas, then waking up in the hospital.

Brad explained that they were not to speak of it to anyone, under any conditions. And that Eren would be granted US citizenship as 'incentive'. That they would then be left alone. Lyn would be given a small sum of money for hers, to keep everything under wraps. It wasn't much, but enough to start up their lives again. The man kept staring at Eren's ears, as if they were the oddest things in the world. The officers then stated that they were holding Riley at the local pound until they were ready to leave the hospital. Angel thought Matt was a nice man, though officer Hagenah seemed a little strict and uptight.

All the while, her eldest sister answered in short clipped tones and not once did she appear irritated or angered. Just blank. In such a fragile state of mind, Angel wondered if this time it would be the time she'd see her sister crack under the strain.

As it seemed, the government was making it out that there was a terrorist attack and the hackers spread the hoax across the news channels to try and induce mass panic. Angel only imagined the amount of money the government was wasting on trying to keep people's mouths shut, but went along with it anyway.

What the teen feared, however, was the dragon that was dead in the middle of LA.

What happened to it? Weren't they talking about how it was a red lyrium dragon? Was it growing on or inside of it's body? Angel didn't want to know the implications of that. What kind of disastrous consequences it would have to introduce red lyrium to the United States. To Earth. She only hoped that the dragon's body gave no such thing, lest they found a way to weaponize it.

**First Person**

That night I stood in front of the mirror before I took a shower, fingers ghosting across the mark at the base of my neck. It was gradually fading, but …

My expression morphed in the mirror, looking back at me with agony clear on her features. Tears welled up in brown eyes and I bent forward, hand clutching my chest. I was alone. No one could see me, anyway. I couldn't control the sobs that wracked my body as I collapsed onto my knees. Fortunately, I was able to keep quiet enough so no one heard.

I didn't want this. I didn't ask for this.

* * *

When you fall down, you have to pick yourself back up and keep going. Because sometimes (most of the time) there isn't going to be someone there to do it for you. I've learned to rely on myself, no matter what. But why, then, was it so much more difficult this time to get back up and move on? Why was it so much harder?

I kept striving for more, fighting to go on and I was even planning on getting my Law Enforcement training done this upcoming summer. We'd moved back to Minnesota and pooled our money together to rent a house on the reservation. Our hometown. Eren was having incredible difficulties getting used to everything, jumping and screaming at the littlest of things. Especially the cars. The elf had been terrified to enter one the first time. Riley had been in a similar state. Angel was absolutely overjoyed to finally be 'home'. Me? Well, I was just me. Quiet, though my usual glare was almost nonexistent by then.

Then there was the fact that I went to go and collect my things from my old house where mother was now living. I refused to move back in with her and Angel seemed to share that sentiment. But what got me was my video games. Or, more specifically, Dragon Age: Inquisition. It was almost too painful to look at, nonetheless even go online to see how badly I'd screwed up the storyline. If at all. I'd been trying my best not to make that much of an impact, after all.

And that's how it went. Every day my mind would wander back on my stay on Thedas. Every little thing reminded me of home.

Nothing seemed to click for me here on Earth. Not anymore. I felt … lost. Like this wasn't where I belonged. I was born here, but this wasn't where I've made a place for myself. I knew now, why it was always so hard for me to find my place in this world. Because, simply, I did not belong here.

But I was stuck here.

* * *

_'CRACK!' 'Crash!'_

Something sounded like it shattered, followed by some thuds and crunching of glass.

My eyes flew open and I was in a seated position before I even had a chance to come out of the haze of sleep. Something had broken out in the living room. In the month that I'd been here on Earth, there hasn't been  _one_  time that someone had enough balls to actually break into our house. Riley was a good deterrent. I doubt anyone wanted to mess with that.

But he wasn't at the foot of my bed where he usually was. My time on Thedas had made me quite the light sleeper and it didn't help that just then I started to hear the faint sounds of frantic whispering – further confirming my theory that someone was, indeed, in my fucking house. The thought itself irritated me to no end.

I rolled over and slowly opened my drawer to the side table, my hands gripping the stun gun I always kept nearby. A growl rumbled in my throat as I slipped out of the bed, not even bothering with putting on any pants. Who sleeps in pants, anyway? My bare feet made contact with the chilled hardwood floors, toes wriggling as I wondered silently where Riley even went off to.

The door slowly creaked open as I tried to make the least noise possible, the stun gun a friendly reminder that I'd be able to deliver a  _ **shocking**_  surprise to whomever decided it was a good idea to break in. Heh heh. Get it?

I'm surprised my sense of humor didn't die the same day my heart did.

Well now Lyn, aren't you getting a little dramatic? Go drive these pests away already and sulk later.

Yeah yeah. It was the middle of winter, so the worn out floorboards of our rented abode bit into my cold little feet as I slowly padded my way toward the staircase. It was even colder out here than it was in my room. My eyes squinted as I tried to see through the darkness.

The only sound that filled the air was my muffled footsteps and the dull hum of our space heaters, Eren let out a snore and I almost jumped. People were whispering, two from the sounds of it. They were just around the corner as I crouched at the bottom of the staircase. The living room was just around the corner at my left and-

I heard one set of footsteps as they made their way in my direction.

"W-Wait she's-" He didn't even bother to whisper that time and was cut off as a form came ambling around the corner. I pounced without a second thought. My hand pressed the button on my stun gun, electricity fizzling to life and flickering around in the completely blackened room. Our bodies collided and went tumbling onto the unforgiving floor.

"Ah!" He yelled and he knocked my non-lethal weapon out of my hands, the object skittering across the floor and hitting the wall with a  _'thunk!'_. My hands clawed blindly, trying to grab onto anything. Hair – no hair. I could barely make out any of his features, only adding to my panic. He was taller than me and was built kind of like a woman. A strong woman, if the way he flipped me over was anything to go by, but a woman nonetheless.

"I'll teach-" I gasped when my back hit the floorboards, "T-Teach you to break into my house!" I growled, not being able to hear what he was yelling back in my fit of irritation.

I didn't even notice Riley's whining and barking. The room was filled with thuds and hisses, my ears were ringing from hitting my head on the floor. But with all of the sparring Krem and I did, I knew just how to get out of this predicament. I wrapped my legs around his waist and reversed our position.

I'd also gotten a hold of my stun gun.

"W-Wait! He doesn't want to hurt you!" The voice should have registered as familiar, but just as the light was flipped on my lips curved into a smirk.

"What's going on?" Angel had been the one to turn on the lights from at the bottom of the staircase. My hand came down, the electricity cracking and spitting as it made contact with the man's hand. Our eyes connected and my own widened in recognition. But it was too late, the damage was done.

What the fu-

The current of electricity went into his outstretched hand, his body falling limp almost immediately and mine toppled over onto my side in response. I'd gotten shocked as well, seeing as how his other hand had been holding my arm in place.

"Uuurk!"

"Hnnn—sh-shi-t."

"Are we getting robbed?" Eren's sleepy voice sounded from the top of the stairs, my eyes squeezed shut as my body convulsed. Fortunately I hadn't gotten it as bad as … Solas. The man I'd been wrestling with had been Solas. Even in my incapacitated state, my face burned with shame.

"Cole? Solas? What – but  _how?"_  Angel asked from above me.

"S-So-orr-y." My voice came out jumpy as I spoke, "D-Didn't kno-ow."

The only response from Solas I got was a grunt.

"The wood whispered a sweet melody and brought me home." Was Cole's answer to Angel's question and from my spot on the floor I could see her expression as it morphed from curiosity into complete confusion.

"Right …. okay then." She murmured and I saw a familiar face come into view just above me, white-blonde hair framing a pale face with sharp features.

It was  _Cole_.

Or, rather, what I thought was Cole but I immediately thought he might be a cosplayer. A burgling cosplayer? Who burgles houses while cosplaying? What kind of joke was this? It's not real!

'Cole' looked visibly upset as his face got closer to mine. This caused me to finally find the will to move, body scrambling into a seated position as I crawled back until I bumped into someone's legs. Said person was finally starting to move around, which should have made me nervous. But my eyes wouldn't – couldn't – leave the Cole-lookalike's face.

"No. No no no. This- T-This." I stumbled for the right thing to say, not realizing that my body was shaking. I must be dreaming. Dreaming. Because there was no way-

"I'm real, Lyn. Right here in front of you. I'm me."

I turned my widened gaze toward Solas, who was now sitting up with a rather irritated look on his face. Well, it was more like muted irritation but that's beside the point. My eyes kept flicking back and forth between him and Cole, almost not believing what was in front of me. How? How did they come back?

"While I am curious about what manner of weapon it was that you used, you-" 'Solas' paused and let out a choking sound, his head turning away from me so abruptly that I thought his neck might break. Then his ears turned pink. Wait-

As if on it's own accord, my hand came up and I pinched the tip of his ear lightly with a wide eyed look on my face. Real. They were fricking real.

"What in-  _What do you think you're doing?"_  He sounded appalled at my action as he scrambled back and began to stand up, like it was possibly the most offensive thing to do. It probably was, knowing my luck. But that wasn't on my mind.

"You're both … actually here." I almost couldn't believe it. Cole knelt in front of me and I threw my arms around his waist in haste, almost knocking him back. There weren't words to describe what I was feeling at that moment. Relief was one of the biggest ones, happiness being second. My heart soared and I felt his arms come around and squish me against his chest.

"While this is a heartwarming reunion and all." Angel drawled from behind Cole, "You're not wearing any pants and if you stay that way any longer – quit looking at her ass – you might give poor Solas a heart attack."

"I wasn't-" The bald elf was about to protest when Angel let out a snort and spoke over him quickly.

"Sorry sorry." She stifled a giggle and I imagined she was probably waving her arms around but I couldn't see because my face was currently buried in leather and buckles. But I couldn't be any happier. The fact that I was insufficiently dressed didn't matter. "Y-You're just so funny when you're – awww look at your face. I'm so sorry, Solas!"

I was only half listening and couldn't really hear his rebuttal as I clutched onto Cole like he would disappear any second, "I-I thought... I thought I-"

"I know." He rumbled from above me and I felt tears of happiness spring out from the corners of my eyes. I was dimly aware of the fact that since they were here, I could likely return to Thedas if I wanted to.

"I really-" Angel sounded enthused, despite it being the middle of the night. I heard Solas grunt, "Am!"

Okay, now I was curious. My eyes flicked up to Cole for a moment and he was staring at the scene with an almost imperceptible smirk on his face. Then I looked and saw Angel giving Solas a bear hug, pinning his arms at his sides as he stared down at her awkwardly. That's when I saw Eren walk forward, who had been oddly quiet this whole time. His gait was slow and tired, his face showing his exhaustion.

"Hahren." He mumbled and joined in on the hugging.

"H-How?" Was all that could slip passed my lips as I turned to look at Cole, who still stood close enough to me that I could feel his body heat rolling off of him. It was a comfort that I'd never thought I'd ever feel again.

"I followed the whispers." His hand came up and fiddled with the wooden pendant that I gave him all that time ago, the thing still dangling around his neck. My matching one, even though I'd been asleep minutes ago, remained around mine as well. I never took it off, even after our separation.

The very pendants I'd crafted with my own hands, with the intent of showing Cole how much he meant to me. My feelings for him, our love, had been the guiding force that led him back to me after it all.

Now, doesn't that sound like something from a cheesy romance novel?

I mean, not that I've been reading any as of late or anything.

* * *

Cole smiled as he watched Lyn break out into a fit of hysterical giggles. Her eyes shining with mirth. The pad of his thumb pressed gently against her flushed cheek, causing her to quiet down and look up at him.

He never thought he'd miss something so much. Her eyes, like the autumn leaves as they glistened with unshed tears. That look just then – like she'd seen the whole world live, and then watched it die. He placed his fingertips on her forehead, brushing her rust colored hair away from her face.

"I don't like it, your song i-it … Heartbreaking discord. Whispering pleas, begging to be heard again. I waited, listened. I heard. Don't worry" Cole pushed his forehead against hers, feeling her nuzzle against him in response. "I won't leave you again, love."

He knew, then, that whatever happened everything would be alright. As long as he was here. As long as he had any say in it, they wouldn't be separated ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to hannahbeanies for helping me with some of the plot stuff at the end here. It was a great help. And Buggy300 for helping me with some of the minute details – lore-wise, since I'm still a newbie at it. 
> 
> hannahbeanies has a pretty good Colemance fic, I have it bookmarked on my profile. It's called Conventus. It's pretty badass.


	41. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short epilogue to tie things up.

_(A week prior)_

Panic had not been an adequate term to describe the feeling that overcame Cole as the Breach closed and he couldn't find Lyn. The stablegirl was nowhere to be found and the more he looked the more he felt the dread in his stomach settle. Heavier and heavier, how had he overlooked her? Maybe it was because he was tired. His more human body tired much easier than it used to, he felt everything much differently.

Which then prompted the spirit-turned-human to follow Solas around like a lost puppy. Solas, who had taken off and abandoned the Inquisition. The mage had his own plans. Cole wouldn't abandon his friends, no. He just needed to find Lyn and Solas could help.

He knew the elf could get back to Earth. He knew of a way. Apparently he hadn't anticipated the breaking of the Orb taken from Corypheus. After the Breach had snapped shut, the thing had literally cracked in half in Lavellan's hands.

The completely heartbroken and almost lost look on Solas' face told Cole enough. He didn't need his spirit abilities to detect the pain and despondence that seemed to fall off of the elf at the sight of the ancient artifact as it fell to the ground. Lifeless.

* * *

Which brought them to the present, as they stood in a temple that was overgrown with vines and underbrush. The evening sun filtered through the canopy created over the caved in wall as they walked along the cracked tiles. The place was withered, worn, weary from the ages. The assassin could still feel the whispers in the tiles, the flickering remnants of ancient magic flowing and floating in the air languidly.

It spoke to him, much like the pendant around his neck was pulling him forward. To it's other half. Home.

"I'm sorry about your Orb, Solas." Cole spoke for the hundredth time, hoping to at least ease the hopelessness that had overtaken one of his dearest friends. Though during their time looking for this place, said feeling had slowly begun to ebb away. His slouched posture and saddened eyes slowly being replaced with his usual demeanor.

"It's fine, Cole. There are undoubtedly many other alternatives to complete the task I had in mind." The mage spoke in a regal tone as he walked up to an ornate archway, the vines flowing from the top and hitting the ground in a waterfall of greenery. He pushed the makeshift curtain aside and entered the debilitated room, the only thing intact being the lone mirror on the far side. It was dark and dusty, drained of any life for years and years.

"Is that why you're going to Earth?" He inquired with a tilt of his head, bangs shifting ever so slightly and allowing him to see the elf.

"Yes." Solas extended his arm and his thin fingers caressed the darkened mirror delicately, almost lovingly as he gazed at it with a blank expression adorn his face. "It is a place that I had never anticipated visiting again."

Again?

It was then that Cole fully turned and looked at the man, his eyes searching as he listened to him. Listened to more than just the words that fell from his mouth. There was much pain inside of him connected to Earth, he knew. It wasn't clear, hidden beneath knots and gnarls, twisting and twining within his very being.

Solas carried a heavy burden atop his shoulders, the rogue knew. And if he had twisted intentions, he would have realized and tried to stop him. But he did not. Not that Cole could detect, anyway. That's when the spirit latched onto something.

"You aren't alone, Solas." He informed lightly, "You have us, you have me."

Sometimes he still said the wrong things, the words bounced off the edges. His thoughts sometimes just couldn't translate well into words but he was getting better at it. Solas' lips quirked minutely, though it almost seemed as though the sadness inside of him got heavier. This troubled Cole and the elf caught on, shaking his head almost sadly in response.

"Be at ease, friend." He turned his head back toward the mirror. Then, with solemn finality, his words holding the weight of worlds. "All will be well..."

At that moment, everything he'd been seeing inside of Solas vanished. He always concealed himself at such times, though Cole always thought it to be for his benefit more than the elf's.

"But you have made other friends, too. Friends make things easier. Inquisitor Lavellan, Varric, The Iron Bull, Eren and Angel." The spirit listed in no specific order, his blue gaze looking down at Solas almost cautiously. His voice soft and hesitant, "Even Lyn."

He let out a breathy chuckle, "Yes, Cole. Even Lyn."

The mirror lit up.

When the duo arrived through the Eluvian, the contrast from the temperate weather on Thedas and the frosty weather on Earth was obvious. Solas waved his hand and a flame floated and flickered in front of them, setting the cavernous room awash with color. The wind resounded and howled into the hollow room, a harrowing sound.

"I can feel her." Cole's voice bounced off of the cave walls, despite how quietly he'd spoken. He sounded amazed, knowing she was nearby a comforting thought. "She's nearby."

His fingers brushed against the wooden surface of the pendant that dangled around his neck, the whispers pulling at him. Guiding him. They showed him the way.

**First Person**

Not only did Solas take off, completely flaking out on me and not allowing me to help him like I was supposed to. He'd been able to program the Eluvian on Earth so that Cole and I could make our way back home.

How he had done that, was completely beyond me. I was under the assumption that not only were Eluvians rare and rather dangerous. Most were controlled by someone else, who's name had escaped me at that time.

Apparently that was not true.

My brown gaze was cast skyward as I saw some clouds rolling in, signifying the approach of a blizzard. As if the Frostbacks needed any more snow. The terrain was so white that it was almost blinding. Our boots crunched through the crisp bed of snow as we made our way up the slope toward Skyhold at a comfortable pace.

I fingered the compound bow in my hands, feeling a knot of nervousness gnaw at my insides. My backpack stuffed with a few Earthly goods that I found to be important. Pictures, clothing and small personal things for example.

One step, two steps. Cole had been rather quiet, his expression explanation enough. He seemed to be deep in thought since the day we were to leave Earth. The day Solas had up and left. It worried me, the way the hobo elf had been so dismissive and distant. More so than usual, which said a lot.

I snorted and turned away from the rogue at my side as we ambled across the bridge and into Skyhold.

"You're worried about Solas." A simple statement, Cole's voice soft and almost disbelieving. Which, if I had hackles they would be risen.

"No. He's a grown man, he can take care of his damn self." I let out a 'hmph!' noise and pushed the door to the Herald's Rest open. My senses were immediately bombarded with the familiar smell of alcohol and the usual ripe smell of a tavern. My nose scrunched, "Home sweet home."

"Yer back!" Was the first thing I heard as I walked inside. Sera trotted into view, her round face alight with joy. It was then that I was brought into a one armed hug as she pulled me up against her side.

"Oh... heh. Yeah. I suppose I am, aren't I?" Was my response as I tapped down the urge to squirm underneath the sudden attention we were receiving. Krem had gotten up along with Iron Bull as they made their way over toward us.

* * *

I knew not what was in store for me now that I found my way. What I did know for certain, however, is that as long as I had them. As long as I had him. No matter the trials or hardships life would throw at me, I wouldn't be alone.

_Not anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr!](http://hypermuffins.tumblr.com/)


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